You have known a man for quite a long time, but for now you live in different apartments and visit each other more often. And suddenly he invites you to celebrate the New Year with him ... How to behave and what to do in this situation? Let's try to figure it out.

New Year together with his family

The New Year is a family holiday in the minds of most people, on which it is customary to gather your closest people around you. If your man is a conservative and highly appreciates family values, then soon after meeting the New Year together, you can easily get his hand and heart in personal property and long-term use.

It is quite possible that he invites you not specifically to himself, but to his parents' house in order to finally introduce you to them. The date of acquaintance with relatives is also symbolic. He, thus, introduces you to the circle of his family, makes it a part of it. This is a very important act and, believe me, it is very difficult for any man to make a woman a part of his familiar world.

Any holiday is a holiday

But maybe all the pathos that was discussed above is completely superfluous and it would just be nice for your man to spend one more evening with you, and what kind of holiday is he absolutely indifferent to? It may well be that he will not even remember the new year itself. Maybe he doesn’t decorate the Christmas tree at home, and celebrates the holiday outside the family. This is also normal. Then you can relax and not expect something serious from him in the near future. This is just an ordinary holiday that can be spent together in a pleasant cozy company.

New Year with his friends

Another option is possible when a man invites you to celebrate the New Year with him and his friends. In principle, this is almost the same as a holiday with the family. It is sometimes much more important for a man to know the opinion of his friends than the opinion of his parents about his girlfriend. Be prepared for the fact that you will probably be evaluated from all sides. You, of course, must be on top.

Romance is his forte

Another option is inherent in romantic men. He can come up with a holiday just for the two of you on New Year's Eve. Imagine that the two of you, without solemn speeches and toasts, champagne and Olivier, just watch old New Year's comedies or new Hollywood films about Christmas and New Year, surrounded by candles and just quietly whispering about something, and next to you, a Christmas tree garland is quietly blinking with dim lights. An invitation to such a holiday means a high degree of trust and intimacy with your man. Appreciate it in him.

If he chose to celebrate New Year's with his friends instead of you...

New Year is on the doorstep… I just love New Year holidays! Since childhood, the New Year has been associated with the fulfillment of all desires, magic ...
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We have achieved a lot together, we have been through a lot. Now we live together in our new, newly renovated apartment, which we bought together.
And everything would be fine, but only his friends did not like me from the very beginning, and with all my efforts to become at least a good friend of them, I, with all my usual sociability, remained in the wrong. We celebrated last New Year with these very friends, and I was bored, uninteresting and annoyed in the morning for spoiling the holiday. Therefore, this year I simply offered my beloved a family version of the celebration. As a result, he is afraid to offend his friends and by default included me in the list of those present in the restaurant where he and his friends celebrate New Year's Eve. I refused. I don’t see the point of being where I’m not welcome, and besides, spoiling my holiday once again, stepping on the same rake again now. At the same time, the holiday will still be spoiled, because my dearest person preferred others to me. I didn’t want to put him before a choice, so I just step aside and let him go alone to celebrate with friends, promising that I myself will somehow spend the holiday with my relatives and friends. and I'm lying at the same time. without it, I don't need the magic of New Year's Eve. I'm sorry that there are so many lyrics... I just had to convey my feelings to you... I've never written in blogs, but I'm afraid that relatives and friends will not be able to tell me their real opinion.

QUESTION: Do you think that my loved one is doing the right thing and is I really dear to him if he does this? Should I just accept the situation?

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The reasons are different. But the conclusion is the same: we are different even on New Year's Eve.

Keep the feeling of happiness in you! © Thinkstock

“New Year together - what could be more romantic, warmer, more trusting in relation to each other?” - the woman thinks and ... Very often she comes across a decisive (polite, forced, tortured - choose the right one) refusal of a man.

Call them once again, regardless of the holiday, "insensitive chumps" or still try to penetrate the jungle of their logic?

At the risk to the psyche - we will penetrate ...

Why do men not want to celebrate the New Year together?

“It all depends on the status of a man in relation to a woman. And the relationship between a man and a woman, ”says our author from the“ opposite camp ”Ray Sergeev.

And deciphers his deep thought:

The proposal to celebrate the New Year together and only together comes with the same regularity as the New Year itself. No, more often: a woman says this phrase forty times every year, and the New Year comes once again.

To put it bluntly, the offer is in most cases unattractive. Although there are nuances that depend on the status of the relationship. By the way, according to the reaction of a man to this proposal, you can most likely make a “diagnosis” of the degree of your intimacy. And take appropriate action, if necessary.

Consider the options for celebrating the New Year together

Family: wife, children, mother-in-law, father-in-law and mother-in-law. Of all the options for celebrating the New Year, only one is real: all together, a large and friendly family. There is no way for a man to refuse this.

Both understand that the New Year together is a dream, a pink dream. There is a hope that the mother (mother-in-law, father-in-law, wife's parents, husband's sister, etc.) will still go to visit relatives this New Year, and the beloved offspring will go on a 3-day New Year's excursion tour with the class - there is. But so ghostly that you want to groom and cherish her until the chiming clock.

Relationship Diagnosis: All right. If there is a desire to be together, everything is just great! Didn't come true? Nonsense!

© Thinkstock
Love triangle: he, she, mistress. Wife knows what he has there is another. And he knows that she knows. Everything goes according to the knurled ... But she was already so tired of his attempts to invent something, just not to stay with her! To the point of being ready to pay for any of her trips.

On the other hand, she cannot believe and accept that they are strangers. What if he still stays this New Year? Maybe it can still be improved?

Relationship Diagnosis: Maybe it will stay. And then, perhaps, it is time to ask: why? Because something is still warm in your relationship? Or because another door is closed that night for some reason?

And if he opens, will he immediately leave? In the New Year, the relationship is not cleared up? Or maybe the magic of this night is just what you need for such difficult conversations?

It's time to fall in love - a win-win option! He, she and ... any third extra. “Of course, my love, how could it be otherwise?” The option of some other proposal, except for the two of us, causes resentment and misunderstanding. No matter how much she has him and how much he has, it will still not be enough. This is the period of relationship.

Good old lover... The probability that your proposal to celebrate the New Year together and only together will encounter a decisive refusal is almost 100 percent. Why? Because the "good old lover" does not expect anything extraordinary from this night.

In addition, the thought that on this night it will not be possible to avoid the question “When will we finally be always together?” kills the holiday long before it starts.

© Thinkstock
In addition, the "good old lovers" always have a sickly company - well, what can you do, such is the type! And it would be foolish not to light it up, especially since "an old sidekick from St. Petersburg is coming."

Diagnosis of relations: firmly, calmly. Alas, hopeless...

In life there is always a place for a miracle. He is alone. She is one. And it seems that they have known each other for more than one year, but he never perceived her otherwise than just a friend. And suddenly the unexpected: “Hello. Come if you want. I celebrate the New Year myself ... ". And in a strange way, this coincided with the fact that he, too, is now "out of work." "Why not?" - the man thinks and agrees. Novelty beckons...

Relationship Diagnosis: they are almost non-existent. Will they? Who knows, in the New Year, they say, miracles happen.

Sometimes it is very difficult to find out if a lover wants to spend the New Year together, especially if you have only recently started dating. Perhaps he wants to invite you to his house to celebrate the New Year with his family? What is he thinking about? All these questions haunt you? Don't worry! We bring to your attention 8 signs that he wants to spend the New Year with you.

1. He talks about what he will do for the New Year

If you have just started dating, it is very important not to put pressure on your young man and not force him to spend the New Year together. Perhaps he wants to celebrate this holiday with his family. Ask directly how he is going to celebrate the New Year. If he says that on New Year's Eve you should definitely walk the night streets of your city, this is a clear sign that he wants to spend this New Year with you.

2. He hints that he is going to spend the New Year with you.

If a guy very often hints that he would like to celebrate the New Year with you, you can breathe easy! If he offers to decorate the Christmas tree together or have dinner at his house and get to know his family, no doubt!

3. He asks about dinner

The guy often asks about what are your favorite dishes, what do you like and what do you not like, what do you prefer, traditional New Year's dishes or something original? Perhaps for such questions - these are trifles, but this is a clear sign that he is going to spend the New Year with you.

4. He asks about plans

Perhaps he is as shy as you are and cannot directly say that he wants to be with you for the New Year. If he asks about your plans, know that you will celebrate this holiday together.

5. He thinks you should celebrate New Year's together.

Even if you just started dating, and the guy has already fallen in love, he may think that you simply have to spend the New Year together because you are a couple. He does not care where and with whom you will celebrate, with your family, his family or together, the main thing is that you are together.

6. He talks a lot about New Year's traditions

If a guy discusses New Year's traditions with you, this may be one of the signs that he wants to spend this holiday with you. Otherwise, he will not talk about how his family celebrates the New Year and what they are preparing for this holiday.

7. He asks if you are busy on New Year's Eve.

If a young man asks if you are free for the New Year, this is a clear sign that he wants to spend this holiday in an intimate atmosphere. Just because he will not ask, agree.

8. He tells his mom what will happen to the girl

If you hear that the guy told his parents that he will not be alone for the New Year, but with a girl, you don’t have to worry, you will spend this holiday together! Get ready to spend your first New Year together!

These are all signs that your loved one wants to spend the New Year with you. But remember that the best way to find out about this is to ask him directly.

I’ve been dating a guy for 7 months, we don’t quarrel, sometimes we argue on everyday topics, we have a very good relationship, straight, we found each other. But, when the topic of the New Year came up, he immediately made it clear to me that we would not celebrate it together. He plans to celebrate it with friends, I’m very sorry, because he knows that I celebrated this holiday only at home with my family, I never walked on New Year’s Eve, I didn’t even blow up firecrackers, nothing. He also knows that my parents let me go only with him, despite my age ... I am more than sure that some of his friends will come with passions, but he doesn’t want to take me, let alone manage together . How can I convince him to at least take me with him? It is very important for me to be with him on this holiday.

Irina, Bor, Russia, 18 years old / 12/20/17

Opinions of our experts

• Alyona

  Irina, I think, more precisely, I’m even sure that you attach too much importance to these relationships, much more than they deserve. Of course, the guy likes you, but not so much that he exchanged gatherings with friends for an evening in your company. And not even enough to bring you into my circle. That is, you are not too important to him yet. And your assessment of your relationship in the style of “we found each other” is just your personal feelings, alas, not supported by the actions of the guy, on the contrary, as you can see. You invented love for yourself, but it is not mutual. He is not ready for a serious relationship, and he probably understands that this is what you expect from him. Therefore, it does not pull you along and does not give you false hopes, and you do not want to read such clear signals. Spending New Year's Eve together is almost like a confession of serious intentions. This is the promise of a deep relationship. First of all, this is how girls perceive it, and guys know this very well. Your boyfriend made it clear to you that he is not striving for anything like that yet, at least not now, and maybe not with you. Do you want to bind him? I do not advise. Spend this holiday with your parents, do not invent anything superfluous for yourself and do not consider this evening the worst in your life. You've only been dating for 7 months. Neither you nor he is obliged to decide something after such a short period of time. Perhaps he will regret later that he celebrated this New Year without you. Perhaps he will get bored and rush to you, before the battle of the Chimes. Or maybe it's just a sign that this is not your person. After all, not all relationships, especially at 18, have to end with a wedding march. Even if now it seems to you that the light has come together like a wedge on this young man.

• Sergey

  Irina, in my opinion, you are trying to make a very big mistake. Trying to impose on a guy is a direct path to a complete break in relations. In addition, by doing this you will show your dependence and weakness. That is, you will no longer be respected for sure. Well, what for? No, I understand that you like the young man. I understand that you have already come up with a lot of things for yourself, about which he himself - neither in sleep, nor in spirit. However, it is still better to descend from heaven to earth. This copy so far, as far as I understand, refers to you without any special feelings. He likes you, otherwise he hardly began to communicate at all, but nothing more. That's why he doesn't plan to get too close. After all, judging by the rather tight guardianship on the part of the parents, contacting you is practically an engagement. And he is not ready for this. In addition, let's be honest, in the company where the guy plans to celebrate, it is likely that there will be a certain number of not only friends, but also girls who are not burdened with special moral restrictions, coupled with a lot of alcohol. And taking you there means spoiling your whole holiday. Neither give in properly, nor intimately communicate with the pleasant features of the female body. No, of course there are other options. Perhaps they and their friends are simply accustomed to celebrating the New Year in an exclusively male company, under a bottle of Borjom and a volume of Gumilyov. But why not assume the most real one? By the way, why don't you just ask the guy himself and solve all the doubts at once? After all, you've been dating for 7 months. So ask why he does not want to spend this festive night with you. Are you afraid? Then personally I would advise not to invent anything superfluous. There is nothing serious between you yet, no one owes anything to anyone, and therefore everyone is free to behave as they like. But on the topic of expediency to continue this relationship, I would suggest thinking several times.