Dear readers, today the fear of the dark occurs in 80% of children aged three to ten years. The reasons for this fear are varied. In some cases, we are talking about a hereditary factor. So, if at least one of the parents had a fear of a dark room, the baby will also have it with almost a 100% guarantee and will manifest itself at a particular age. It is also necessary to know that in 10% of children with growing up, the fear of the dark does not disappear, but persists for life.

Why are children afraid of the dark?

1. The kid is afraid because he is not able to see normally what surrounds him.
2. In the dark, the hearing of the little one is aggravated, so the slightest rustle, creaking can scare the baby.
3. Stormy children's fantasy draws in the imagination of the baby various images, monsters. The child begins to feel that they want to grab him, drag him away.
4. Often parents do something stupid and start to intimidate the child with Baba Yaga, Babaika or someone else. Then it seems to the baby that this creature appeared behind him.
5. Watching scary movies, or just violent movies, can make you afraid to stay in the dark.
6. Increased activity in the afternoon, especially before bed.
7. Sudden changes in life or their approach. For example, you just moved to a new place of residence or the crib has changed at the little one, the child went to kindergarten for the first time, in a week the little one will have to go to school.
8. If the atmosphere in the family is unhealthy, the baby experiences severe stress. Such a tense psychological state is manifested by the fear of remaining in the dark.
9. Some children are afraid of the dark only if they are left alone, and this is more due to the unwillingness to be left without mother's warmth, moreover, when a parent is nearby, the child feels protected.

Poor sleep and fear of the dark

In rare cases, the fear of the dark is explained by problems with getting to bed. If this is your case, you need to resort to certain rules:

1. Three hours before bedtime, the baby should have exceptionally calm games.
2. Take your little one for an evening walk.
3. Reception of water procedures and light massage just before going to bed have a positive effect on a healthy and good rest.

1. Read a story to your child before bed. Let it become a habit. You can also perform a ritual of putting toys to bed before the little one himself lies under the covers.

1. Make sure that the last meal is light, but at the same time satisfying enough. The child may suffer from both overeating and hunger.
2. Make sure that the baby does not sleep more than normal during the day. After all, if the baby rests more than expected during the day, this can seriously affect nighttime sleep.

The child is afraid of the dark

There are cases when kids normally tolerate the absence of light at night, and then, years later, fear appears out of the blue. The child may be afraid to stay in a room without a mother, sleep with the lights off, they are scared by monsters that hide under the bed or in the wardrobe.

It is important in such a situation to listen to the baby, do not leave him alone with his fears. Very often, parents think that the child invented everything or he had a terrible dream, he will now calm down and continue to sleep peacefully. However, they can be seriously mistaken and cause severe harm to the mental health of the baby, and children's fear of the dark will only get worse and lead to consequences.

Once in such a situation, parents should identify the cause of such changes in the child's behavior and deal with it.

If the baby is afraid of the monster living in the closet, show him that no one is there. But for the first time it is better to do it before dark, otherwise the little one will get very nervous, because he will worry that a monster will grab his mother now. Then repeat at night with the lights on, then in the dark, while shining a flashlight.

Very often, films are to blame for everything, and not always horror films. For the child's psyche, it is enough to watch pictures of violence, the appearance of blood on the screen. It is recommended to protect your kids from this. The Internet and access to a large amount of information also play an important role.

How to help overcome fear

If there is a child in your family who is tormented by the fear of the dark, you need to know what to do about it. Here are some tips for parents to help their child deal with anxiety:

1. Pay more attention to the little one during the daytime.
2. Leave the night light on when the child falls asleep. Or even better all night long.

1. Stay alone with the baby in a dark room and look at all the things that are there, convince the little one that there is nothing to worry about.
2. Find a toy that will "responsible for the safety" of the crumbs. Let it be a brave soldier or a teddy bear, a robot or even a doll. The baby will be calm if he knows that his sleep is protected.
3. The child may not be so scared if he hears the presence of daytime sounds at the time of falling asleep. He can be frightened by complete silence, in which the kid's fantasy will finish drawing horror stories. Such sounds can be the conversation of parents behind the wall, you can also record the singing of your parrot or the purring of a kitten and turn on this record for the little one.
4. You can tell the little one how you overcame your fear of the dark (even if you didn't have it). For a child, mother is authority, so it will be easier for him to cope with his fear.
5. A very effective way is to invite the baby to draw his fear on paper or mold it from plasticine.
6. Play hide and seek with your baby, so he may not notice while playing that he is hiding where it is dark and subconsciously stop being afraid of the dark.

Separately, it is worth talking about different age groups. Since the causes of fear are different, there are various ways to solve them.

1. Children of three, four years old experience certain changes in their lives. During this period, they can be given their own room or bed, at least. The kid goes to kindergarten for the first time, where they can expect quarrels and conflicts with other children. The child experiences stress, which leads to the birth of night fears.

A three-year-old baby should be allowed to fall asleep with a lamp and choose a toy - the protector of his peace. A four-year-old kid needs to be carefully asked about the causes of his anxieties and directly solve this problem.

1. In children of five, six years old, night fears are mainly born because of a violent fantasy, which draws all kinds of monsters in a dark room.

The best solution to this problem is to carefully study all the nooks and crannies of the room, first in the light, and then in the dark. You can also tell how you yourself were afraid in childhood, and then realized that these were just imaginary monsters.

1. Children at seven, eight years old base their fears on a change in their familiar environment. They go to school for the first time, where a teacher appears, new guys. Conflicts may arise or the baby simply feels insecure and anxious in the new company.

Parents should pay as much attention as possible to the child during this period, because he is so complex and responsible in the life of the baby. At this age, you need to use the lamp, leave it on all night. Also, the way of depicting your “monsters” on a piece of paper helps a lot.

1. Children nine years of age and older begin to be afraid of the dark because of watching scary movies, scenes of violence, or listening to scary stories from their comrades.

The best help at this age will be provided by a child psychologist. Also a good option, get a pet. It's especially good if it's a dog. The kid will feel that his peace is guarded by a true friend.

The fear of the dark did not bypass my son, as well as me. I was very afraid to stay in a room with the lights off when I was five years old. Mom did not allow the light in the corridor to be left on in order to save electricity. And in the dark I saw monsters that entered the door of the room from the corridor, crawled out of the closet. I hid under the covers and tried to call my mother for help, fear fettered my voice. So in a state of stress and fell asleep. When I told my mother, she did not believe it, she said that I was dreaming about it. Then my aunt came to visit us, and I decided to tell her about what was bothering me. She talked to her mother and insisted that the lights in the hallway should be left on. Then everything was fine. I made sure that nothing changes in the room at night and monsters stopped imagining me. Just a couple of months later, my mother decided to try turning off the light, but I didn’t even notice it. Since then, I have not been afraid of the dark. But my brother and sister slept absolutely calmly at night and were not afraid to stay in a dark room. My son inherited my fear. It also seemed to him that there was something in the room. He was especially afraid that someone would crawl out from under the sofa. It started when the baby was 4 years old. Also for this period, the time fell for a constant visit to the kindergarten (this was already the third attempt to start going to the kindergarten. You can read about this in the article :). First of all, I let him fall asleep with the lights on, then I told him about my experience. We also got his beloved Gavchik (soft toy), who was supposed to guard his son's sleep. In addition, I showed my son that there is nothing to be afraid of in the room, we carefully examined all the nooks and crannies. For three months he fell asleep with a night light on. We have a turtle that projects stars all over the room, thus illuminating the room, but much less than a lamp. And then the son said that you no longer need to leave a night light at night, let the turtle sleep now too.

What not to do

1. Never make fun of a toddler and call him a coward. For a child, these fears are real.
2. Under no circumstances decide to close the child in a dark room to prove that nothing will happen to him. So you will only frighten him even more and contribute to the development of a real phobia, from which the baby will not be able to get rid of for the rest of his life.
3. Never confirm the guesses of the crumbs. No need to say that you already know about the monster under the bed, for example. So you only double the fear of the baby.

When is a psychologist needed?

Sometimes parents are not able to independently solve the problem with the fear of the dark in crumbs. Then a child psychologist comes to the rescue.

You need to know in which cases you need to contact a specialist:

1. The fear of being in a dark room persisted after 10 years.
2. The child is afraid that in the dark he will be killed or kidnapped.
3. The kid is afraid of an open wardrobe, being in the shade, going outside after sunset.
4. In the daytime, the little one begins to be very afraid of the approach of the dark time of the day.
5. The baby has panic attacks, accompanied by a violation of calm breathing, in rare cases reaching the loss of consciousness.

1. Do not leave your child alone with your fears. He won't be able to do it on his own.
2. It is important to determine in time the cause that provoked the emergence of fear of the dark.
3. If the child is older than seven years, pay attention to the relationship of the baby in the family, at school, with friends.
4. Increase your child's physical activity.
5. Be an example for your little one. Show how you can overcome your fear of something.
6. Invite the little one to draw what scares him in the dark on a piece of paper. Sometimes this is enough to make the child feel better. Sometimes it will be useful to add to this monster, for example, funny elements of his clothes. The kid will see that he is no longer scary, but even funny.
7. Never tell a child that he is inadequate or a coward, do not laugh at the little one.
8. Sometimes it is necessary to turn on the lamp at night. This will calm the baby and allow you to sleep peacefully.
9. Do not deprive your baby of your care and love during the day.
10. Explain to the little one that there is nothing terrible in the room, that at night everything remains in its place, nothing new appears.

Preventive measures

Due to the high tendency of children to develop fear of the dark, it is better to prevent this fear in advance. For this you will need:

1. Restrict your child from watching TV. Keep track of what movies or TV shows he watches. Internet only in the presence of adults.
2. Avoid quarrels in the family, especially in the presence of the baby. The child has a very subtle psyche and he reacts sharply to everything.
3. Take care of the daily routine of the little one. Take time for active games in the morning.
4. Encourage your child to take frequent walks in the fresh air.
5. Make sure that the room where the baby sleeps is not stuffy. Maintain optimum temperature and humidity levels.
6. Teach your child to take water treatments before bed.
7. Read a good story to your child. It is better that the little one falls asleep under a story read by his mother than under a cartoon.
8. Never scare a baby that because of disobedience some monster, such as Babayka or Baba Yaga, will take him away.

Children often face different fears. Fear of the dark is one of the most common. Parents should help the baby cope with the fear that has appeared and never leave the baby alone with his problem. Follow all the recommendations on how to save your baby from fear of the dark, if necessary, seek help from a specialist in time. Remember that it is better to take preventive measures than to face the emergence of fears, which, although in rare cases, can develop into phobias.

Being born, the little man already has several innate basic emotions in his arsenal. And fear is necessarily included in this initial set, received by him from previous generations. It is this feeling that underlies the instinct of self-preservation. The child needs to be afraid of dangerous objects, strangers, rash actions that can lead to injury. And parents often support these fears in every possible way, explaining to their child the causal relationship of unfavorable developments. But not every fear is encouraged by dad and mom, because not in all situations this feeling is useful and necessary for a person. Sometimes phobias are not justified at all and are even destructive. So, the fear of the dark is not at all welcomed by parents, especially when their offspring needs to sleep. Long laying down in the middle of the night, persuasion, tears do not please either adults or children. As a result, someone has to make concessions: either the baby sleeps with his parents, or he is left alone with his fear, covering himself with a blanket. A compromise solution is the light of a night lamp in the bedroom.

Why are children afraid of the dark?

Aversion to the dark before adolescence is a very common phenomenon. On average, about 80% of children experience fear when entering a dark room. Approximately 10% of people take it with them into adulthood. And 2% of the entire population of our planet are so unable to resist this fear that they allow it to develop into nyctophobia.

Nyctophobia is an obsessive, unreasonable fear of the dark. From Greek. nyktos (night) phobos (fear). Symptoms: severe anxiety, trembling, excessive sweating, dizziness.

A person suffering from nyctophobia in the dark experiences severe discomfort. His imagination draws non-existent terrible pictures that threaten life, panic begins. This condition needs urgent correction, and the person himself needs psychological help. In order to prevent the development of a phobia in their child in time, parents should be attentive to his behavior and reactions to the world around him.

At 2 years old, children may experience the first manifestations of fear. The kid is afraid to enter a dark room, does not want to stay alone at night, asks to go to his parent's bed, cries if the lights are turned off. Such unreasonable fear is often a stage of growing up and, with adequate help from parents, remains in the past. The causes of fear of the dark may change with age.

2–3 years

During this period of life, the baby becomes more and more independent, and the parents shift him to a separate bed for a night's sleep (if he had previously slept with his mother) and, if possible, to his own room. Not all children perceive calmly such changes. Being alone at night can make a child feel insecure. And in order to avoid possible danger, he will try by all means to attract the attention of mom or dad. And if this relocation coincides with going to kindergarten and watching cartoons with negative characters, the child's excitement at night may increase.

4–5 years

This age is characterized by increasing social activity of the baby. New friends, new games, interaction with adults in kindergarten and at home, trips to other places make the life of the baby more intense, and emotions more diverse. Cartoons and films with a negative color and a tense storyline are postponed by the corresponding impressions in the child's head. And since the imagination of the baby at this age is gaining strength, everything experienced during the day takes on an incredible and frightening shape in the dark. Baba Yaga can hide under the bed, and a scary monster can crawl out of a dark closet.

6–7 years

The child grows and his fears become more conscious. In the dark, something bad and even creepy can be hidden, something that is dangerous. Catastrophes seen on TV or Bluebeard from a fairy tale will not let you sleep peacefully. It happens that the baby is afraid of a particular case or character. And going to school, communicating with classmates and teachers, intra-family relationships often add excitement and insecurity to the child.

8–9 years old

By the age of 9, the fear of the dark gradually becomes obsolete. Children are already quite good at distinguishing a real danger from a fictional one. If the child is not sleeping well at night, most likely there is some specific reason. It can lie in interpersonal relationships, in negative information heard, academic failure, a quarrel with loved ones, or a horror movie viewed at night.

10–11 years old

The child enters a transitional period, and his emotional state, and the fears that arise are directly related to the hormonal background. Children often become more vulnerable and irritable, they are easily offended or upset. The child puts all his unresolved problems, inner emotions and experiences in his bed with him. Parents need to be attentive to their children, find out the cause of concern and help in time.

As a child, when I was scared, the rain man would come and sing to me. It was my imaginary friend.

And what happened to him?

Nothing, I've grown up.

(from the movie "Rain Man")

Darkness frightens the child with its mystery and uncertainty. When the baby's vision cannot receive information from the outside world, the imagination begins to paint threatening pictures. In a young child and adolescent, darkness may be associated with loneliness, which is also perceived as something unpleasant and often dangerous. If the baby has ever been locked in a dark room for the purpose of punishment, this is very likely to develop into a fear of the dark. Sometimes this fear is strongly connected with some other (for example, the fear of death) and is only a consequence of it. To help their offspring, parents must definitely understand the causes of the fear that has arisen. If the problem is left unresolved, it can accompany the child for a long time or even develop into an obsessive phobia.

What not to do

• Don't ignore your child's fears! An unresolved problem can persist and become destructive.
• Parents should not swear in front of their child! The family should be associated in the baby with peace and confidence.
• You should not show your helplessness and weakness in a difficult situation! The child must know that the parents are strong and will protect him from all the monsters.
• You can not punish the baby by locking him in the room alone! Such punishment will provoke the emergence of fears.
• It is better not to scare the child with Baba Yaga and Babai! Young children may perceive the words of an adult as the truth.
• You can not laugh at the fears of the baby! The child will lose trust in the closest people.
• No need to tell creepy stories, fairy tales and let you watch scary movies and cartoons! All negative characters and situations in the child's imagination can become a reality.
• Better not to play along, claiming that frightening ghosts really exist! This will fix the fear for a long time.
• You can’t put pressure on your child with your authority, saying that all this is fiction! For the baby, these fears are real, and misunderstanding of loved ones will only upset him.

How to help your child overcome fear of the dark

Leaving a child alone with his phobias is unacceptable. All fears that are not worked out and not released can cause a lot of trouble in the future life. To find out the reason why the child is afraid of the dark, you need to watch your child and talk to him. Until the age of three, the baby will not be able to explain what exactly scares him at night, but at the age of four it is already possible to find out the details. The solution to the problem largely depends on the origins of fear.

Finding out the root causes

Conversation. If the baby speaks well enough, in a mild form, the parent asks him to tell him what he is afraid of in a dark room. Before the conversation, you need to think over the course of the conversation and your leading questions. You need to explain in words understandable to the child. If the offspring is about or more than 7 years old and he himself does not talk about his experiences, you can start a discussion of the problem from afar, gradually leading to the point. The tone of the conversation should be friendly, and the mood of trust. You should not rush the child with an answer or insist on your point of view. The task of a parent is to listen to his child in order to help him in the future.

Drawing. When the conversation does not add up, you can ask the child to draw what worries him. The drawing can be a continuation of any game. For example, you need to depict the monsters that live in the room and frighten with their presence. Sometimes the parent draws with the child and in the process asks him questions of interest. Plasticine modeling is also suitable for this method. The task of the parent: in a mild form, show their interest in the experiences of the baby and get an image of fear.

Story. You can invite the baby to compose a fairy tale about a creature that lives in the dark. If it is difficult for the child to start, the parent helps him, pauses and carefully listens to the additions. With this method, it will be easier for the baby to visualize his fear. A fairy tale can be illustrated with a drawing, complementing the image. The task of the parent: to help his child express his thoughts and highlight disturbing moments.

If the child does not make contact, you must try again later. Perhaps he lacks parental attention, or family relationships have ceased to be trusting. In any case, adults should encourage the child to communicate and get closer to him. Joint games, rest and conversations before going to bed will definitely help in this.

Help to overcome fear

The love of parents, faith in the abilities and strength of their child, pride in him - these are the components without which it would be difficult for a child to cope with the difficulties that arise. But besides this, there are various ways to help overcome the fear of the dark.

Methods and techniques aimed at ridding a child of fear may depend on his age, but in all cases there are general rules:

1. The child's feelings must be treated with respect and understanding.
2. The family should have a calm and friendly atmosphere.
3. Daily routine is important for the child and parents.
4. Bedtime rituals help young children feel safe.
5. The environment in the baby's room should take into account his wishes.
6. Before going to bed, parents should make sure that nothing bothers their child.
7. If a child is upset about something, he needs to be helped to relax.

Psychology. Fear of the dark in a child - video

Game therapy

This technique is suitable for children of any age. Parents play together with their children and make the darkness not dangerous, but interesting. Entertainment in the dark can be completely different. Several options are listed below.

• Shadow play. In a dark room opposite the light source, using hands or figures, we create shadows on the wall. They move, change, disappear and reappear. You can buy a similar toy flashlight.
• Hut. We build a hut in a darkened room. Parents play with their children. In the hut you can talk or settle down for the night as tourists. If you're really scared, you can use a flashlight.
• Hide and seek or hide and seek. Take turns with the child, you need to play in both a dark and a bright room. You can hide a toy or any object.
• Treasure hunters. Notes are laid out throughout the apartment with clues where the treasure is “buried”. The kid should look for them in a dark and bright room.
• Day Night. Dolls or other toys in the hands of the baby and the parent will live a normal life. It is light during the day and dark at night. When the toys go to bed, the light turns off and the baby remains in the dark for a while. Then everything repeats itself, and the night becomes longer.

Painting

The child is offered to draw his fear on paper. After that, the drawing can be made more positive: draw flowers around, butterflies, the sun in the sky, some funny hat on the image of fear, a smile on his face, a bouquet in his hands, etc. You can leave the drawing or get rid of it by crumpling, throwing it away, sending it out the window or tearing it apart. The child chooses what to do with the image.

Fairy tale in reverse

If the kid is afraid of a particular cartoon or fairy tale character, you can ask him to rewrite the story by disarming the villain. For example, Baba Yaga is toothless and cannot eat anyone; an evil wolf becomes a kind, loyal and obedient dog when tamed. You can fix the image by drawing it in a new guise. If desired, this character is hung on the wall so that it reminds of its harmlessness.

Conversations with children

If the child has reached school age, parents can talk to him about the problem, explain possible reasons, talk about their childhood fears and overcome them. Ask the child to come up with a plan to deal with the phobia. During the conversation, you can illustrate the conversation, draw your fear and ask the child to portray his own. Further, the drawing can be supplemented to a positive image. Sincere conversation with parents instills confidence in the child. If mom and dad did it, then he can too. Parents need to show faith in their child and a positive attitude.

Therapeutic fairy tale

The method is as follows: an adult tells the kid a fictional fairy tale about children who have overcome the fear of the dark or made friends with the night.

Vasya, Dan and fireflies (therapeutic fairy tale)

Once upon a time there was a boy Vasya. He had a best friend - the dog Dan. The boy grew up kind and good, helped his relatives and was not afraid of anything except ... darkness. Every evening before going to bed, Vasya called Dan to his room to guard him at night. After all, he knew that the dog would never let either a terrible monster from the closet or a monster from under the bed near him. In the summer, Vasya's parents sent Vasya to the village to visit relatives. And the boy always took his faithful friend with him.

Grandma and grandpa were very happy when Vasya came to visit them this summer as well. The weather was warm, the boy spent the whole day walking with Dan. And when he came home, he immediately sat down to supper, and the dog remained in the yard. After eating, Vasya played chess with his grandfather, read a book with his grandmother, and went to brush his teeth. When the boy was about to go to bed in the room and wanted to call Dan with him, he saw that he was eating his evening portion from a large bowl.

You just come to me as soon as you eat, - said Vasya and went into the bedroom.

By the door hung a night light, which illuminated everything around with its dim light. It was very late. The boy jumped into bed, covered himself with a blanket, and decided at all costs to wait for his faithful friend. But his eyes were stuck together with fatigue, and in a minute Vasya was fast asleep. Grandmother looked into the room to wish her grandson good night, but when she saw that he was already sleeping, she turned off the light and closed the door.

Several hours have passed since sleep overcame Vasya. The boy turned on his other side, and the moonlight fell on his half-closed eyes. Vasya woke up and sat up in bed.

Dan, - he called in a whisper, - Dan, are you there?

The room was still quiet. The boy looked around. Only the shadows and reflections of the moon glided over the walls. It got scary...

Dan, - he called again, but there was no answer. No one came running to lick his hands and wag his tail in response to his words.

Vasya was even more frightened. Either because it was dark, and terrible monsters could attack him at any moment, or because his faithful friend had disappeared somewhere. "I need to find him," the boy thought. He stuck his legs out from under the covers. It was necessary to go down to the floor and run to the door. "If I run to the door very quickly, the monster won't have time to grab my leg?" he thought. Vasya was very afraid, but there was nothing to do, it was necessary to look for Dan. Did something happen to him? He couldn't leave his friend in trouble!

Something blackened around the bed and behind the curtain. “Monsters…” the boy thought. Vasya quickly put his feet on the floor and rushed to the door, opened it and ran out of the room. The house was quiet and dark, everyone was sleeping. Only the light of the moon barely illuminated the old grandfather's chair and a large table with chairs.

Dan, silence again.

“He is not in the house,” Vasya decided. The boy was no longer worried about the darkness, or the shadows on the walls, or the blackened objects in the corners of the room. He thought about Dan and that maybe his friend needed help right now. On the way, grabbing a jacket from a dark hanger, Vasya ran to the front door and flung it open. The yard was empty, and behind the open gate in the darkness there was some fuss. The boy rushed to save his dog. And an amazing picture appeared before his eyes: on the grass, here and there, small lights lit up with a green light, and Dan jumped around them, trying to understand what they were. His ears were raised in surprise, and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. Vasya laughed when he saw his surprised friend in the darkness.

These are fireflies! Vasya said through tears of joy.

Dan ran towards him. Putting his paws on the shoulders of his master and wagging his tail, the dog licked his tears with a warm tongue.

These are fireflies, - Vasya repeated, - Oh, you fool!

Vasya sat down on the grass, Dan lay down next to him and laid his head on the owner's knees. And only now the boy noticed how beautiful the night is, how beautiful the starry sky and this big moon above his head, and the silvery light from it on the grass and trees, and these green lights are fireflies. And if it were not for the night, Vasya would never have seen this miracle.

After some time, the boy and his faithful dog wandered home. And the black spots in their room turned out to be just slippers under the bed and a stack of books on the windowsill. And Vasya has never been so calm in the dark as now, when the night turned out to be so beautiful outside the window and safe in the room ...

The heroes of fairy tales can be any characters who are afraid of the dark, and even the child himself. It is allowed to draw parallels with the baby and his life. You can draw these characters and hang the image above the baby's bed as a reminder that darkness does not carry any danger. It is only needed so that a person can get a good night's sleep.

All these methods and techniques can be supplemented with a candlelit dinner (which will please not only children, but also a spouse), bypassing a dark room with a baby before going to bed, joint gatherings and heart-to-heart talks.

The child should always know that in any difficult situation for him, his parents will definitely come to the rescue.

If the baby cries when the lights are turned off, it is better to leave a night light or a decorative light bulb in his room, or give the child a flashlight so that he illuminates incomprehensible objects at night, and leave the door to his room open.

For young children, you can suggest choosing a "protector toy". A strong bear or a magical bunny will definitely guard the baby all night, and the rest of the toys will stand guard so as not to let any monsters into the room where their owner sleeps.

And if the child tearfully asks not to leave him alone, perhaps you should spend the night with him, or sit next to him until the child falls asleep. Knowing that parents protect sleep and protect it, the baby will soon outgrow his fear.

How to overcome the fear of the dark? - video

On my own behalf, I want to add that the most important thing is to talk with the child about what he is afraid of, everything that we can talk about no longer causes such a strong tension. Let him tell about the monster, how he looks, what his mood is, whether he has friends, what the monster is afraid of, what he loves, whether it is possible to make friends with him or need to drive him away. Ask in detail) Draw, compose fairy tales about a monster, maybe he is enchanted and needs help), play these stories with toys or by roles, everything that you turn into creativity and the game will no longer be so scary.

Tatyana Vershinina, psychologist

https://www.psysovet.ru/threads/2099/

Game - ordinary toys as characters. Play with your child. In the game, he will be able to win back an alarming situation. Be patient and attentive in order to be able to relieve tension in a game situation.

Griza Tatyana Alexandrovna, psychologist

http://www.b17.ru/forum/topic.php?id=39187

Have a bedtime ritual: watching TV, washing up for the night, changing into pajamas, reading an evening story, sitting next to mom or dad, secrets and kissing goodnight. The daily repetition of this procedure, ending with the manifestation of love, usually removes fears.

Do not make abrupt transitions: "You have your own room now, we turn off the lights and close the door." The gap in the doorway should decrease gradually so that the child knows: mom will come at the first call, and there is nothing to be afraid of. And there is nothing wrong with the fact that the child falls asleep with a night light.

Urbanovich Elena Vladimirovna (Moscow), psychologist-consultant

http://www.chelpsy.ru/articles/detskie-strakhi-boyazn-temnoty

If the child is not afraid yet, it is necessary to carry out constant prevention of various fears, including the fear of the dark. Tell that the world is kind and inhabited by various creatures from plants to animals to humans. So that the child is not afraid, parents need to convey their confidence in the future.

Olga Popova, consultant psychologist

http://popovaolga.ru/strax-temnoty-u-detej/

To the fear that arose in a child, adults should be treated with understanding. Recognizing and accepting a problem means starting to solve it. You can't live without fear at all. This can turn into trouble. But any phobia must be approached wisely. Fear of the dark is one of the first manifestations in a child. And parents need to help the baby overcome it. After all, darkness itself is only the absence of light, and after the night the sun will always come out.

Many parents ask a psychologist: how to stop a child from being afraid of the dark? Not only at night, but also during the day, it happens that some children are afraid to enter the room if some object seems suspicious. They may be afraid of black gloves, shadows. You can, of course, shame, laugh, but then the child will harbor this fear, will not admit it, but will not stop being afraid. What to do parents, if the child is afraid of the dark? Psychologist's advice on this subject we read in one of the magazines “Family and School” (1970). I must say that a lot of time has passed since the publication of this issue of the magazine, but the problems have remained the same ...

Why are children afraid of the dark?

Shyness, fears of harmless (for adults!) Things and events are not uncommon in early childhood.

Cause, Why is the child afraid darkness(at 3, 6 and even 10 years old) can be rooted in physical ill health, overwork, latent infection and even ascariasis.

It is advisable to check the child not only with a pediatrician, but also with a neurologist. This is especially important in such cases when there are not only daytime fears (darkness, an empty room, certain objects), but also nighttime fears - the child wakes up in the middle of a dream, screams, does not immediately recognize his relatives. Strong attacks of fear at night in a dream are already signs of specific nervous diseases.

Secondly, the reason may be the negligence of the adults themselves: excessive intimidation of the child or frequent stories about something terrible.

Thirdly, a not infrequent source of trouble in such cases is an exaggerated timid imagination. Immediately it should be noted: there is no bad without good. A child frightened by sinister black gloves is not a sick or frightened boy, but rather a poet and a dreamer. Self-hypnosis of fear in such a child is only one of many manifestations of fantasy, impressionability, in general, necessary and useful qualities.

It is worth reading the memoirs of many prominent writers about their childhood (Veresaev, Korolenko, L. Tolstoy, S. Aksakov, A. Tolstoy), and you will find vivid and accurate descriptions of just such "self-inflated" fears.

What to do if the child is afraid of the dark?

Some parents try to treat fear with fear, that is, knock out a wedge with a wedge. If a child is afraid of the dark, then they leave him alone in a dark room and even close him there. Of course, you cannot do this: it can further increase the child’s fear and upset his nervous system. That mother will do the right thing, the second will take the child by the hand, go with him into a dark room, turn on the light, examine all the corners and convince the child that there is nothing to worry about. In order to make it easier for me to quickly accustom the child to sleep in a dark room, the mother can stand not far from the child’s bed and respond: “Sleep, sleep, all the children are already sleeping and it’s time for you to sleep.”

It's more important to know here what NOT to do if the child began to be afraid of the dark -

• There is no need to particularly "press" on the child, to demand from him to overcome fear immediately and by order of the elders. If, for example, dad and mom, showering the boy with ridicule, force him to go into a dark room (“knock out a wedge with a wedge!”), Then the experiment can end successfully, or maybe - hysteria and neurosis. It all depends on the condition of the child, and partly on the strong-willed qualities of character, instilled earlier. After all, the fear of darkness is added to the fear of future ridicule, the fear of failure and shame, the fear of the anger of adults, and so on. Is it worth putting such a burden on children's shoulders, and especially if before that, for many months and years, parents did not think and did not specifically care about educating the will, perseverance, and decisiveness in the child? ..
• In the same way, it is harmful to focus on the "vice" of the child: at every step to lament, pity (and again ridicule) him. No, if you really want to quickly cure your child of timidity - do such, as if completely extraneous things, like gymnastics and water procedures, labor education, develop sociability skills. Then independence, resistance to causeless fears quickly arises. You can also advise an additional method: the suggestion of the "protective power" of some thing. Your son believes in the strength of his soldiers - and that's great: let them accompany him in difficult situations.
  It is even better if there is a dog or a cat in the house - let them be the protectors of the baby and he is their patron. Healthy but shy children usually overcome fear easily in the dark if they have a cat or a puppy in their arms. Sometimes they calm down, seeing the indifference and calmness of the animal, sometimes, on the contrary, they feel like they are older. Here, the same internal mechanism is manifested that we adults have: we are often afraid to ask or demand for ourselves, but we talk and hold on completely differently when we demand something for others or for others.
• Finally, it is appropriate to recall: if a child, according to the authoritative testimony of doctors of all specialties, is absolutely healthy, if his fears are not inspired by any of the adults, then these very fears are, in a certain sense, valuable! They are a sure sign of a powerful and vivid imagination, receptivity, impressionability. They testify that the child will learn to read more easily and will get more from what he read than "average" children. But there is also an alarming sign: it is very important to make sure that the child is accustomed to work, systematic efforts, regimen - after all, it is impressionable and fantasizing children who often fall into the category of "capable, but not efficient."

Fear of the dark in most children disappears with age.

The inner world of a child is full of fantasies and emotions that form habits, sympathies, and behavioral patterns. The thoughts of the crumbs are not always cloudless, and the emotions are positive, because the baby cannot explain a lot in the adult world for himself. As a result, unaccountable fears appear, one of which is the fear of the dark. About 90% of children 3-10 years old face it.

The vast majority of children face the fear of the dark.

With the onset of twilight, the world loses its colors, the outlines become blurred, and the shadows from household objects become ominous. At this time, children's imagination is fully manifested. A child is not afraid of a dark room, but what it hides. After the mother turned off the light, the beloved nursery, filled with bright toys, is filled in his imagination with aliens, witches, monsters. This usually happens when the baby sleeps alone. It turns out that the fear of darkness is the fear of loneliness.

Causes of fear of the dark in children

At what period did the baby begin to be afraid of poorly lit places? From birth? After his parents locked him in a room alone, not reacting to crying? After the elders watched a horror movie, ignoring the presence of younger family members in the room? After inadvertently spoken by adults phrases aimed at intimidating the child? It is very important to understand this in order to quickly calm the child and prevent such actions in the future.

One of the sources of the fear of the dark is the careless phrases of the parents. Tired of children's pranks or after a hard day, they involuntarily utter the phrase: "If you don't obey, I'll give you to an evil wizard" (another negative character). Probably, the baby will not believe it right away, but there may come a time when it will seem to him that something terrible is waiting for him in every corner, and he will refuse to be left alone in a room with the lights off.

Even careless words of mom or dad can become the cause of fear.

There are many common causes of children's fears of darkness. A child may be frightened by experiencing one of these situations:

• events that had a profound emotional impact;
• disasters seen on the news;
• family conflicts, especially if they affect children's interests;
• horror stories told intentionally by older children;
• conflicts with peers;
• repeated bans on something.

Practice has shown that the fear of the dark can be avoided if parents follow the topic of conversation and tone in the presence of the younger generation. Unwittingly overheard or peeped stories can also make a strong impression and become a source of phobias. It is wrong to ignore them, it is important to find the cause of the problem and solve the situation without letting it develop.

Sometimes a child may involuntarily see or hear something that frightens him.

The child admitted that he was afraid to be alone in the dark: what should parents not do?

The main mistake of parents is to ridicule the child's fears or try to explain that the darkness does not threaten him. Fear of her is irrational, the baby cannot always justify what worries him. Trying to explain to a shy child that it is safe in a dark room is pointless. He may withdraw and stop sharing his concerns.

You can’t play along with the baby, pretend that monsters exist in the dark, talk to them. This will increase the phobia and disturb the sleep of the child who will be waiting for their nightly visit. When he talks about a terrible dream, you should come up with a continuation with a good ending.

Under no circumstances should you ridicule fears. They will not go anywhere, but there will be distrust of their parents, unwillingness to share their feelings with them in the future.

What can lead to fear of the dark?

The fear of darkness does not allow the child to control feelings and emotions. If it is necessary to act, the child is lost and cannot concentrate on the main thing. In the future, social phobias may develop from it: fear of failure, loneliness, responsibility.

In adult life, "inner monsters" give rise to low self-esteem, a sense of powerlessness, and fears of not meeting the expectations of loved ones. These feelings can be passed down to the next generation. Therefore, parents whose children experience fear of poorly lit spaces should look to their past. Perhaps their fears and fears were passed on to the children?

In the future, childhood fears may transform into low self-esteem.

At what age do babies start being afraid of the dark?

About 80% of mothers of children aged 3-10 put the fear of the dark in the first place. It can appear at any age - at 3 years old, when the baby can already express his feelings, and at a much older period under the influence of a certain moment. You can get rid of the negative through the joint efforts of the family; if necessary, it is important to connect a psychologist in time.

Fear of the dark at age 3

At the age of three, the world for a child expands beyond the boundaries of home, playground and mother's hands. He enters the garden, where he communicates with peers, slowly learns to serve himself, to do without parental care for some time. An older child is often allocated a separate room where he plays and sleeps. When the parents turn off the light and leave, wishing him pleasant dreams, he calls them again, afraid to be alone.

To solve the problem of children's fears during this period, your favorite soft toy, which you can hug instead of your mother, will help. You should not take the baby to your bed, leave the overhead light on. However, when he cries a lot, it is better to spend the night in his room.

A favorite soft toy can become a “protector” of a child

Fear of the dark at 4-5 years old

Four year olds are impressionable. They grasp and remember well everything they see, hear, evaluate situations from their own point of view. When a 4-year-old child is afraid of the dark, refuses to fall asleep alone, it is important for the mother to talk to him, find out the cause of the anxiety (conflict with peers, threats from the teacher, scary stories are heard). Dialogue is easier to conduct during the game. If adults are sensitive and patient, the baby will “open up” and tell what is bothering him.

Fear of the dark at age 6

The developed imagination of a child of 5-6 years old allows him to imagine that fantastic creatures, evil heroes from fairy tales are hiding in the darkness. He feels helpless, panics and calls for adults. The task of parents is to explain to the baby that a dark place is not always fraught with danger, to illuminate all dark areas and demonstrate this to him.

You can tell a story about how they were also afraid of darkness, shadows from chairs, a chest of drawers in childhood, come up with a fun ending. Often the way out is a rearrangement in the nursery. You should close the corners and try to arrange the pieces of furniture so that there are no glare and areas that could scare the child when the lights are off.

In a child's imagination, darkness can hide monsters

Fear of the dark at age 7

During this period, the grown child goes to school, is faced with a new and unknown, which is yet to be studied. He can already determine his preferences, evaluate what is happening around him. In the evening, in a dark nursery, a first grader is left alone with his thoughts. At this time, new phobias may arise or fears from the past may return.

Making fun of a child's fears is an unforgivable mistake of parents. Arguments that he is already an adult and there is nothing to be afraid of do not work. It is important to listen to the baby, answer questions honestly, offer to draw what he sees in a dark room, add positive details to the drawing.

Fear of the dark at 8-10 years old

As a rule, by this age, babies outgrow their fears. However, the signals when the baby cries at night, claims that someone is looking at him, asks to hide in the parent's bed, should not be ignored. Faced with the fear of the dark in a grown child, parents usually fall into two extremes. The first is ignoring the problem, convincing themselves that "the baby will outgrow." This leads to the fact that the child becomes isolated, and the issue of fear of the dark remains unresolved.

The second extreme is overprotection. It lies in the fact that adults begin to consult on the issue of fears with all their friends, take the child to psychics, try newfangled techniques, calming themselves. However, the child still feels lonely and it is not guaranteed that his fears will eventually go away.

Fear is not a reason to immediately take the child to specialists, you just need to pay more attention to it.

What should parents do?

It is impossible to ignore the fear of the dark, but it is wrong to focus all your attention on this problem. This fear occurs in emotional, sensitive children. Seeing that the parents discuss his problem with strangers, listen to their advice, the child becomes isolated and ceases to trust his relatives. The task of mom and dad is to talk to the baby, to understand what and why worries him. It is desirable to do this in the process of joint games or creativity.

Why did an older child suddenly become afraid of the dark?

It happens that the fear of the dark appears in children of 7-10 years old, who previously were not afraid of anything. They are afraid to sleep alone, enter an unlit room, make up stories about someone hiding on a dark balcony. This is due to growth and changes in the psyche. The best thing parents can do is listen, walk around the house together, look into every corner and show that no one is anywhere.

It is possible that such "bypasses" will have to be done more than once. When children have bad dreams, it is worth thinking about how television and the Internet influence them. Sometimes they are afraid to sleep alone after watching programs about ghosts, aliens, brownies. It is important to replace watching TV with walks in the air before bedtime.

It is best to end the day with a family walk in nature, which will calm the child and prepare for sleep.

How to overcome the fear of the dark?

Attention and patience will help parents cope with fears of the onset of night in a child. First of all, you should purchase a night light that shines with a muffled, “moonlight” light. It should be placed at the head of the bed and kept on all night (the baby may wake up and be afraid of the lack of light).

It is equally important to exclude computer games, watching TV shows, reading books with scary characters. It is better to sign up for a pool or a sports section, visit it in the evening. You should never laugh at the fears of children, reproach them for cowardice, leave the baby alone in the apartment in the evening (fear can turn into horror at what the next unlit room hides). Successfully overcome the problem will allow:

• a deep desire of parents to support the child, the restructuring of incorrect behavior towards him;
• faith in the possibility of overcoming the situation, readiness to fight as much as necessary;
• personal positive example of victory over fear, described positively and emotionally;
• decrease in control, pressure, unnecessary guardianship.

A visit to the sports section will help to make the child self-confident

Play therapy for kids

Good effect in the fight against fears gives drawing. Having depicted the motives of anxiety on paper, adding cheerful motives to the picture, having discussed the situation with his mother, the baby soon ceases to be afraid. No less effective are corrective games aimed at ensuring that the child can perceive darkness not as a potential threat, but as an element of the game. They will help to get rid of the problem imperceptibly, soon the phobias will recede. Boys and girls are equally interested in these types of games:

• "Puppet Hide and Seek". The situation needs to be beaten in such a way that the toys ran away from the baby and hid in the rooms (dark and light). Children need to find as many toys as possible. Those found in a dark room are encouraged more.
• "Beavers". Classic hide-and-seek, adapted to a specific goal - to defeat the fear of the dark. The parent acts as a hunter who needs to find a beaver hiding in a dark mink (under a chair covered with a tablecloth). The goal of the beaver (child) is to sit in the dark until the hunter leaves the room.
• "Scouts". It can be played by a small company, or by a child and a parent. A legend is invented about a brave scout who needs to penetrate into the camp of the enemy (dark room) and count the weapons placed there. For this he will receive a reward from the general (adult).

The traditional game of hide and seek will help the child to get to know his apartment better and stop being afraid.

When should you contact a psychologist?

Fear of the dark is an inevitable part of growing up. Almost all children have to go through it, and the support of parents plays a significant role in overcoming it. If fears do not recede by the age of 8-9, you should worry about professional consultation with a psychologist. Grown up children distinguish between fiction and reality, when stories about dangers, abductions, scary creatures are repeated - this should be a cause for concern.

It is worth taking action if the child is very afraid of the dark, wakes up in horror, cries, claims that they wanted to cause physical harm to him. Often this indicates the hidden problems of the baby or the difficult psychological climate in the family. Adults may also need to correct their behavior.

Fear of the dark is not a whim of a child. It is important for parents to understand that overprotection or complete ignorance of the problem is the shortest way to consolidate phobias. Overcoming fears with the whole family will help to overcome the problem faster than in sessions with a psychotherapist. However, when a child is terrified at the mere thought that night will come, is afraid of the slightest manifestations of darkness (a closed pantry, a chest, a covered cabinet), a specialist consultation is inevitable.

Fear of the dark is one of the most common childhood fears. Almost all children go through this, and most of them eventually outgrow this problem. But while the baby is afraid to be alone in a dark room and does not let his mother leave the bed, all parents want to help him cope with his fear. How to do it? First, you need to understand what and why the baby is afraid of? It is clear that the cause of fear is the child's violent fantasy, which allows him to see a monster in every corner. But it is necessary to understand what gives food for such fantasies. It is also important to understand what parents need to do and what not to do in such a situation.

Why is the child afraid?

Fear of the dark is familiar to almost all children. Most often this is due to the inability to fully use all of their senses. If the child cannot see what is happening around him, then fantasy turns on, which “finishes” the missing details. At the same time, it should be borne in mind that in the dark the child instinctively listens and can even distinguish those sounds that he would not pay attention to in another state.

Now we need to remember about human instincts. Primitive people were justifiably afraid of the dark, as a dangerous predator could be hiding there. This fear helped to avoid danger, so it is not surprising that those children who were afraid to go into dark places survived more often. Much time has passed since then, but the primal fear of the dark remains.

This is how the fear of the dark develops: primitive instincts plus a lack of visual information, plus a child’s wild fantasy. Not seeing the surrounding objects in the dark, the child begins to invent a “babyka” waiting for him in the corner, Baba Yaga from fairy tales and other frightening characters.

Quite often, the fear of the dark arises from stresses that have nothing to do with darkness, but the child cannot cope with them or talk about them.

Separately, it is worth mentioning the peculiarity of child psychology, which allows them to inhabit monsters only in the space they are familiar with. This means that most often children are afraid in their own home and in their bedroom, but on a dark street they may not feel any discomfort.

What should parents not do?

If a child admits to being afraid of the dark, parents need to respond appropriately. Therefore, we will first consider what not to do. You should not try to explain to the child that his fear is illogical and there is nothing to be afraid of in the room. The fear of the dark is bad because it is irrational, only in rare cases the child can say that he is frightened by a specific object or sound. Much more often the child is afraid of just what he cannot see and it is useless to explain that there is nothing terrible in the room. It's invisible, so you just don't know what it is. If in such a situation you persist and insist on your own, the child will think that you do not believe him and do not understand him, and simply withdraw into himself.

You can’t play along with a child and pretend that monsters exist. It is impossible to offer him various devices for scaring away monsters, since the child can only believe in them more strongly and wait for their arrival. The imagination of children is very developed, so they can easily confuse reality with fiction, and then it will be very difficult to return the normal line between reality and fiction.

If a child tells terrible dreams, you can come up with a sequel together with him, where all the bad heroes will be defeated. This will give confidence before bed and make the child bolder.

There is no way you can make fun of a child for him. In this way, only one thing can be achieved: the child will close in himself, and self-doubt and distrust of parents will be added to fears. Remember, to overcome fear, you need faith in yourself and the support of loved ones, and by making fun of a child, you will deprive him of both. The child is not to blame for the fact that the darkness seems terrible to him, and in such a difficult situation, he needs the support of his parents more than ever.

Getting rid of the "baby"

Many generations of parents consider it quite normal to bully a child for educational purposes. For example, you will not obey, eat, go to bed, etc. - "Babayka" will come and take away. To parents, this seems to be a completely harmless threat, because there are no “buffoons” at all. But the child takes everything literally and begins to be afraid. Of course, he has no idea what kind of "babyki" are and how they come, so any rustle in the dark for him becomes a sign of the arrival of a terrible enemy.

In no case should one scare intentionally, with nothing, neither with a “babayka”, nor with the police, nor with Baba Yaga or any other fairy-tale characters. When telling fairy tales, it is necessary to choose non-terrible and instructive stories, for example, with animals in the lead roles. If you really want to tell a fairy tale with scary heroes, then you need to emphasize several times that this is fiction and nothing more, and this does not happen in life.

To overcome fear, you can advise the child to take an example from his favorite hero, who, of course, is not afraid of the dark.

Also, you can’t punish a child by leaving one in the room, especially if it’s dark there. Sometimes parents do this, not realizing that in this way they forever instill in the child a fear of the dark, as the connection is fixed: punishment - bad - dark.

If fear has already settled in the soul (Video)

What to do if the child is already afraid of the dark? First of all, you need to find out the reason. If the child points to a specific source of fear, for example, the shaggy collar of his mother's coat in the dark resembles a monster, or it seems that someone is sitting in a dark corner, it is necessary to get rid of this source. It is better to get rid of scary objects, and dark corners can be highlighted.

A very important step towards getting rid of the fear of the dark is the creation of a cozy atmosphere in the children's room. The room should be as bright and friendly as possible, even in the dark. Be sure to use nightlights, you can take a few small LED lamps and place them in different parts of the room, and stick luminous stars on the ceiling.

Helps raise self-confidence with the ability to see the perceived enemy. To do this, you can give the child a flashlight. Surprisingly, such a simple thing as the ability to illuminate any scary corner at any time often helps to get rid of fear.

Sometimes, in order to get rid of fear, it is necessary to turn from a victim into a hunter. If the child is afraid, turn on a bright light, give him a flashlight in his hand for the darkest places, for example, under the bed, and offer to find the alleged "granny". If it is possible to turn such a search into an exciting and funny game, the “babayka” will be defeated.

We need to talk about children's fears. Let the child tell what scares him, and parents can tell what they were afraid of, and how the fear disappeared over time. Psychotherapists believe that this is one of the most effective ways to get rid of fear. It is imperative to hug the child often, this will allow him to feel support and relieve many fears.

Before going to bed, you need to try to help the child relax and calm down as much as possible. To do this, you need to talk to him, you can do a light massage. Also, a glass of warm will not hurt, which will act as a light sleeping pill.

When do you need the help of a child psychologist?

Although the fear of the dark is one of the stages of growing up, and all children have to go through it, sometimes it becomes a real problem, and you can get rid of it only with the help of a specialist - a child psychologist. When is it necessary to consult a psychologist?

The help of a specialist will be needed if the fear of the dark does not go away in a child under 8-9 years old. At this age, children are usually already good at distinguishing reality from fiction, so frightening fantasies fade into the background. If a child at this age does not fall asleep on his own, this may indicate a deeper problem, which will be impossible to solve on his own.

You will also need the help of a psychologist in a situation with the presence of strange repetitive stories about the "dangers" pursuing the child. If a child talks about his own murder or abduction by something terrible, this is cause for concern.

It is worth worrying if the child wakes up screaming and tells his parents that he was strangled. This may indicate deeper complexes, a difficult psychological climate in the family, and it is quite possible that all its members will need the help of a psychologist.

It is also worth contacting a specialist if the child is waiting in advance with fear for the onset and is preparing for it. If a child is afraid of even the slightest manifestations of darkness, for example, an ajar nightstand or pantry, twilight or curtained windows, it is better to consult a child psychologist.