During the first family quarrels, my husband - then still a deacon - said, denouncing my loud voice: “You are not insulting me, but the Church. Which of our neighbors would want to go to church if the priests and their wives live like in a cheap talk show!” Then this only added fuel to the fire, because it was doubly offensive: why, really, my faith, my life in the Church does not protect me from such vulgar leisure as a family scandal?!

On the eve of the wedding, many optimistic articles in major Orthodox publications and a couple of books about family life were quite convincing: a believing girl is not afraid to get married - after all, she, a “real Orthodox bride,” does not have any “aggravating circumstances” in her personal life before the wedding and is not ready for marriage repeat the mistakes of “ordinary” wives. This means she won’t nag her husband about his salary, sniff his shirts for foreign perfume, sit in a greasy robe in front of the TV and sigh over his neighbor’s mink coat. He will also remember who the head of the family is and be patient with the shortcomings of his “head”...

Of course, in my “theoretical preparation” there was also church gossip: “Father N’s wife left him,” “Father X’s wife doesn’t appear in church, she doesn’t want to give birth to children, and in general they say such things about her...”. Then everything about such mothers seemed quite clear to me: an unbeliever, that is; I entered the Theological School simply for the sake of “getting married”; I married not out of love, but because I was “ugly” and was afraid that no one would call. But I’m not like that, I’ll become a “real” Orthodox wife!..

…When my “ideal marriage” first came to the point of making an impulsive decision to “go to my mother’s” and “let him dance,” my husband saved the situation. Instead of the expected melodramatic plea for mercy or at least a small but effective attack of despair, he said: “Go. Just immediately. And keep in mind: we are not a series; if you leave, you don’t have to change your mind and come back.” Perhaps the methods of such harsh pedagogy do not help everyone, but it sobered me up: the naive game of family life must either burn out into real life, where there is not only “oohs and sighs” and love, but also a conscious struggle to preserve love. Or it will degenerate into a vulgar melodrama with mutual manipulations from the category of “and I’ll leave” - “and I’ll go to a monastery.”

And a new period of “theoretical preparation” began. I was ready to look for and correct my mistakes, fortunately my husband was in the same mood, but for a long time I could not catch their root. Yes, we must endure our neighbor’s weaknesses, we must love him “as he is,” forgive him, and notice his own shortcomings—Orthodox wives write a lot about this and priests talk about this. But, on sober reflection, it was not the shortcomings themselves that put me on the brink of deciding to divorce. In general, there weren’t that many shortcomings in my wife. They were almost always a reason for a quarrel, but not the main, not the killer argument against my marriage...

Also, I read, you need to secretly pray before parrying the initial phrase on the way to a quarrel, because both the wife and the husband know many thoughts of grumbling, claims and insults from behind which shoulder they come. Prayer, or rather, the one who hears it, really helps to come to his senses, but only if Ostap has not yet “got crazy.” But not every young spouse is capable of praying and “cooling down” in time, remembering who else hears you, and I’m definitely not one of them. Yes, and the demon - he, of course, attacks the family, especially the priestly family, but, as in the joke, in many cases he could accuse me of slander and shifting my guilt onto his neck.

But what is my fault? What is the spouse's fault? Where is the “weak link” of a family quarrel that leads to scandal and rupture? I think I've found it. I haven’t fixed it yet, I haven’t learned to see in time and “slow down,” but I found it, and it gives me hope!

You know, the infirmities of his neighbor, which a Christian must endure, do not spoil his life that much. Sometimes they even decorate it, especially if this is the life of a proud person. There is, after all, some small joy: to feel superior when your spouse is ready to quarrel with you because of the lack of lunch. Well, he has such a flaw - “he is ruled by his stomach” - but you are such an exalted and spiritual person. You don’t throw yourself at your husband out of hunger, but civilly drink empty tea. Or - a common cliché - he has socks scattered around the house, and you remind him of them and you feel like a big neat guy... Such - and much worse - things can be forgiven even without any special claims to Christian virtue.

It's harder to forgive something else. The first family quarrel in yesterday's modest Christian woman with a cheerful disposition and loving eyes suddenly opens an ordinary vixen, the same aunt, like those whom she condemned, contrary to the commandment of the Lord, and whom she was most afraid of being like. Suddenly the slob is revealed (how many days in a row do you have to not wash the floor for socks to accumulate on it in such a criminally irritating amount). And the lazy person also “comes out” (otherwise dinner would have been ready in the evening, and the spouse would not have to demonstrate such a terrible disadvantage as the presence of a stomach). And it’s hard to forgive yourself for “getting to this point.” And it is absolutely impossible to forgive him, the husband, for being a witness to this!

And the ostrich dives head first into the sand, an attempt to prove to yourself (and to him, of course!) that you are not a vixen, but he “will bring an angel.” You are not a slob, but... “with his money (options: in his apartment, with his mismanagement, with his children, in the presence of his mother...) it is impossible to organize a household!” You are not a lazy person, but “you can eat as much as you can!” (“There must be other interests!”, “You’re an insensitive blockhead, can’t you see - I feel bad, I’m pregnant”, “In general, fasting is just around the corner!”).

And now the closest person in the world becomes inconvenient precisely because he is the closest, and your shortcomings in his presence suddenly turn out to be especially noticeable and especially humiliating. And somewhere in the depths of my soul a new, completely murderous thought emerges: “Having recognized me like this, my husband will now stop loving me. “I’ve probably already fallen out of love.” - Traitor! - I'll show him...

And you really want the calm, old, completely self-satisfied and not entirely Christian “pious life” that you led as a girl, impeccable in the eyes of others... But now piety requires qualitatively new efforts, “new grace” gives way to your will and work. You have to learn to deal with your newly discovered shortcomings, and not with your husband, their most frequent witness.

…Re-read my “Eureka!” and realized that, according to the laws of the genre, the reader should be reassured with a positive assurance that after these discoveries, “my father and I live in complete harmony, not for long, but happily, and we dream of dying on the same day.” But autumn with the counting of chickens and all sorts of “jewelry” wedding anniversaries is still far away, so our happy ending is still potential. However, it seems that through joint efforts we still learned to dig our heads out of the sand at a critical moment - or not to hide it there at all - and emerged from the emotional labyrinth of the first years of family life onto the path that leads precisely to happiness, and not to any other "endu". Help us, Lord, not to turn aside!

Elena, the priest's wife

Photo by Vladimir Eshtokin

If you quarrel with your wife (husband) in a dream, this means great love and a happy life.

If a relative quarrels - to friendship and help from him.

If you quarrel with enemies - to success.

If an employee quarrels with a subordinate, this means promotion in the service and high earnings.

Quarrel with the deceased - to health and longevity.

If a woman quarrels with her neighbor, the property is in order.

If a woman quarrels with a beggar woman, it means the bankruptcy of her husband.

If your friends quarrel, it means loss of help.

If there is a fight on someone else's street, it means an invitation to a party.

A merchant quarrels with a buyer - to losses in business.

If you fight with the buyer - to wealth and prosperity.

If a patient quarrels with doctors, this means a speedy recovery.

Elderly quarrels with children - to a happy life and longevity.

Interpretation of dreams from the Dream Book of Feng Shui

Dream Interpretation - Quarrel

Quarrels in a dream promise misfortunes and fierce squabbles. For a girl, this is a signal of chronic troubles, and for a married woman, it is a harbinger of divorce or long-term discord in the family.

Watching other people's quarrels in a dream foretells failure in your career and disappointment in your craft.

Interpretation of dreams from

“I beseech you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in one spirit and in the same thoughts. For from the household of Chloe it became known to me about you, brethren my, that there are disputes between you. I mean what you say: “I am Paul’s”; “I am Apollos”; “I am Cephas”; “and I am Christ’s.” Was Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? or in "Have you been baptized in the name of Paul? I thank God that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius, lest anyone should say that I baptized in my name. I also baptized the house of Stephen; but whether I baptized anyone else, I do not know. For Christ sent not to baptize me, but to preach the gospel, not with wisdom, words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of no effect" (1:10-17).

One of the main reasons why religious cults have been able to have such an impact on the world today is because they are united. Disharmony within the church is intolerable. Although such unity is misdirected, abused and often totalitarian, it is attractive to many people who are tired of uncertainty, uncertainty and confusion in religious matters.

Few of us who came to church a few years ago have not been in (or heard about) communities where there was schism, or at least where there were serious quarrels. This problem has existed in the church since New Testament times. The Corinthian believers departed from God's standards in many ways, and the first thing Paul rebuked them for was discord.

Quarrels are a part of life. We grow up within quarrels and next to quarrels. When babies have something they like taken away from them or are not given something they want, they are quick to express their displeasure. Young children cry, throw fists, or lose their temper when they cannot get their way. We argue and fight, first over a rattle, then over a toy, then over a soccer ball, then over what place we are given in a football or other sports team (the main thing is to cause more excitement), in commercial affairs, in parent-teacher associations or in politics. Friends fight, husbands and wives fight, businesses fight with each other, cities fight with each other, and even entire nations fight - sometimes to the point of war. And the source of all quarrels is the same: the corrupted, selfish, narcissistic nature of man.

Scripture speaks of nothing else with such clarity as the fact that man is fundamentally and by nature sinful and that the heart is the fault of his sinfulness - this is his self-will. From birth to death, every person is naturally drawn to be first - to be who he wants to be, to do what he wants, and to have what he wants. Even believers are constantly tempted to slide back into a life full of self-will, self-interest and generally self-centeredness. At the center of sin is the ego, the self. Self-centeredness is the root of human depravity, a depravity into which every human being, with the exception of Jesus Christ, has been born since Adam and Eve. Even Christians are still sinners - justified, but sinners in themselves. And when this sin is allowed to do whatever it pleases in our flesh, conflict is inevitable. When people (two or more) set their minds on doing everything their own way, disputes and quarrels will soon begin between them, because their interests and concerns, what they attach the most importance to, will sooner or later come into conflict conflict There can be no agreement in a group of people - even in a group of believers - if their desires and goals, intentions and ideals are guided by their ego.

Addressing his fellow believers in his letter, James asks: “Where do you have enmities and strife? Is it not from here, from your lusts warring in your members? You desire and do not have; you kill and envy and cannot achieve; you bicker and fight, and you have not" (4:1-2). The cause of all conflicts, quarrels and strife is selfish desire.

It is tragic that, although it is forbidden by God, although it is against the very nature of our saved nature and absolutely hostile to everything that the Lord prayed for for His church, to what He intended it to be, divisions occur among believers, among those who are called to be one in the Lord Jesus Christ.

What the Lord mourns, what He resists, Satan applauds, what he feeds and cherishes. Nothing has such a demoralizing influence on the church, nothing discourages and weakens the believers so much as dissension, backbiting and quarrels among them. And nothing casts such a shadow on her testimony to the world as internal strife.

Quarrels are a reality in the church because selfishness and other sins are a reality in church life. Quarrels dishonor the Father, disgrace the Son, demoralize and discredit His people, while the world turns aside and becomes established in unbelief. Broken unity robs Christians of joy and effectiveness in their work, robs God of glory and robs the world of true witness to the good news. Trip by selfishness is costly!

Among the many sins and shortcomings of the Corinthian church, quarreling was what Paul chose to deal with first. In unity lies the joy of Christian service and the authenticity of Christian witness. In His high priestly prayer, the Lord constantly prayed that His Church would be one (John 17:11, 21-23). That unity of nature and religion for which He prayed for His disciples meant "incarnate, unity in life." Immediately after Pentecost, the believers, newly empowered by the Holy Spirit, were in perfect harmony with each other - sharing thoughts and feelings, rejoicing, worshiping and witnessing together, “and continued daily with one accord in the temple praising God and being in love with all the people. And the Lord added daily those who were being saved to the church" (Acts 2:46-47). The way they served each other, witnessed to the world, pleased God and glorified Him - all was the fruit of their unity.

The first thing the Corinthian church needed was unity of this kind. Many churches today need the same thing. Having discussed this issue, Paul moves on to the instructions and instructions that occupy the rest of this letter.

In verses 10-17 he addresses four major areas of unity: he calls for agreement on doctrine, groups committed to individuals, the principle of unity in Christ, and the primacy of preaching.

Call: Doctrinal Concord

“I appeal to you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in one spirit and the same mind” (1:10).

The word I beseech is a translation of the Greek word parakaleo; The root of this verb comes from the word "parakletos", which means "helper" (or "Comforter" - see John 14:16, 26; 15:26; 16:7 and "Advocate" - 1 John 2:1) . The main meaning of this word is to take someone's side by helping him. Paul wanted to stand with the Corinthian brothers and sisters and be with them to help them correct their sins and shortcomings. The same word is used in the Epistle to Philemon: noting that he had the right to command Philemon to forgive the servant Onesimus and send him back to Paul, the apostle says: “For love I ask better (paracleo)” (Phil. 9, cf. 10) .

He makes the same request to the Corinthians. In the words that open his letter, he was concerned to establish his apostolic authority - but now he addresses them as brothers. By this he moderates the harshness of the reproach, without nullifying its seriousness. They are his brothers and brothers to each other, and they should behave as brothers should.

They were “called into the fellowship of His Son Jesus Christ” (1:9) and are now lovingly instructed “in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to come to agreement (to speak the same thing), to avoid divisions and to be united “in the same spirit and in the same mind.” they were one in fellowship with their Lord, they should be one in fellowship with each other. Their unity in Jesus Christ was the basis for Paul's plea for unity among themselves. As in many of Paul's letters, he started from the identification of believers with Christ to effect his call to a holy life.

The name of Christ represents all that He is—His character and His will. Praying “in the name of Jesus” does not mean expecting God to bend to our desires or requests simply because we use this formula. To pray in His name means to pray in accordance with His word, in accordance with His will. Jesus commanded us to pray, saying, “hallowed be your name... your will be done” (Matthew 6:9-10). The Word of Christ, perfectly reflecting His character and His will, forms the most important basis of all Christian conduct. Whether what we think, say, and do is right depends not on how it affects ourselves or others, but on whether our thoughts, words, and actions are in harmony with Christ and honor Him. . The behavior of believers has everything to do with Jesus Christ. When we sin, or complain, or quarrel, we hurt the church and its leaders, we hurt our brothers in the faith. Moreover, we thereby erect a barrier between the Gospel and unbelievers. But - worst of all - we dishonor our Lord.

When the elders from Ephesus came to Miletus to meet Paul on his way to Jerusalem, he instructed them, saying: “Take heed therefore to yourselves and to all the flock, of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of the Lord and God, which He has purchased for Himself.” His blood" (Acts 20:28). Thus he told them: “Do not lose sight of Him Whose you are and Whose they are. You all belong to Jesus Christ and are precious to Him. You are overseers appointed by the Lord.”

In this passage, written to a local church, the emphasis is on the unity of the local body of believers rather than on the mystical unity of the universal church - as in Ephesians, for example, which was a general letter, without reference to specific local conditions. And Paul is not talking about unity of faith here. He says that there must be unity within the local assembly of believers, "so that you all say the same thing." This seems like an unattainable ideal; and yet the Lord Himself commanded His followers: “Be ye perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48) - and what could be more impossible from a human point of view than this? In the name of Christ and with His help, this ideal is achievable. And the ideal of unity too. God sets His standards not on the basis of human abilities, but on the basis of the forces that He sends to us. He does not adapt them to human limitations, much less to human inclinations and desires. As unattainable as this concept may seem, all believers in a local church must agree on matters related to God.

In Greek, this phrase literally means, “that ye may all say the same thing,” as translated in the King James Version. What is most confusing to believers who have recently converted to Christianity, or to non-believers who are contemplating the calls of Christ, is when they hear Christians whom they consider spiritually mature and experienced contradict each other on the gospel, the Bible, or the Christian life. . And it is difficult to imagine anything more devastating to the church than if each believer had his own ideas and interpretations in matters of faith, or if the community was divided into factions, each of which had its own views on this matter.

For a local church to be spiritually healthy, harmonious, and effective, there must first be unity regarding doctrine. The teaching of the church should not be a hodgepodge from which everyone can search and catch what they like. And there shouldn’t be different groups, with their own distinctive features and characteristics, with their own leaders. Even if such groups get along with each other and are tolerant of each other's views, doctrinal confusion and spiritual enfeeblement are the inevitable result of division. Unfortunately, this type of doctrinal and ethical selectivity reigns in some churches and even some seminaries today. Members of these churches and seminaries often agree with each other on social and organizational issues, but when it comes to doctrine, ethics and spirituality, they are confused themselves and confuse others. They do not adhere to any undoubted facts, even if the biblical facts and absolute truths set out in Scripture are not undoubted for them. They do not recognize any lasting or binding obligations. Of course, many people, including those who openly profess Christianity, do not want absolutes in doctrine or morals, simply because absolute truths and norms require absolute acceptance and obedience.

When it comes to God's truth, there cannot be two opposing opinions about what is right and what is wrong. It is obvious that we cannot give a dogma about what is incompletely and unclearly given in Revelation (Deut. 29:29). But God does not confuse anything, He does not contradict Himself. He is not at odds with Himself, and His Word is not at odds with itself. Therefore, Paul insists that the Corinthians, like all believers, maintain unity in doctrine - and not just any unity in doctrine, but such unity which is clearly based on God's Word. He pleads with them in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. This means that he implores them to come to agreement in Him, in His will, in His Word.

It is often the case that groups in some parts of the modern church, like the factions within the church at Corinth, have unity within their own group, but not unity with other believers in Jesus Christ. Paul did not call for unity on any basis, but for unity in God's revealed truth, given and realized in Jesus Christ and completed through the teaching of His apostles. “Therefore, whoever is perfect among us should think this way; if you think anything differently, then God will reveal this to you. However, to what extent we have reached, we should think this way and live according to that rule” (Phil. 3:15 -16). The rule here spoken of was the apostolic doctrine which Paul personally applied to their particular lives, and the example of life according to which he taught them (v. 17); exactly like the teaching he gave to the Corinthians as “an apostle of Jesus Christ called by the will of God,” it was “not in persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and power” (1 Cor. 1:1; 2:4) .

The word "division" is a translation of the Greek word "schismata", from which we derive our word "schism". In the physical sense, a cognate verb means - to have differences in views, differences in judgment, disagreements. One day, when Jesus was preaching in Jerusalem, the people listening to Him could not agree on who He was. Some decided that He was a great prophet, some that He was the Christ, and others that He was just an ordinary man making extraordinary claims. Consequently, as John reports, “there was dissension among the people concerning Him” (7:43). And this “discord” has not subsided to this day - even among those who call themselves by His name.

The most serious disagreements that can exist in a church are disagreements over doctrine. Concluding his letter to the Romans, Paul warned: “I urge you, brethren, to beware of those who cause divisions and offenses contrary to the teaching which you have learned, and turn away from them” (16:17).

Those who teach anything contrary to Scripture are serving not Christ, but themselves and their own interests. In matters about which Scripture does not speak with complete clarity, there is room for difference of opinion. But there is no room for disagreement in clear biblical teaching, because to disagree with Scripture is to disagree with God.

Priest Samuel Agoyan, representing the Armenian Patriarchate, denied the miraculous origin of the Holy Fire, which became the reason for a quarrel with a representative of the Coptic Church. The incident occurred during the filming of a report in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. According to Agoyan, he observed three times how the patriarchs lit bundles of wax candles from an oil lamp, and there was nothing mystical about it.

Professor of the Orthodox St. Tikhon's Humanitarian University Alexander Dvorkin on air on NSN stated that such verbal altercations, and even fights, occur regularly in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.

“This is ordinary routine news about an ordinary routine skirmish. By the way, representatives (Copts and Armenians – NSN’s note) of the same Christian trend - the pre-Chalcedonian Monophysite churches, which at the beginning of history anathematized each other (anathematized - note by NSN). Although no one canceled these anathemas, they forgot about them and they have Eucharistic communion (possibility of joint service of the liturgy by two bishops or priests - approx. NSN). Unfortunately, in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, parts of which belong to different Christian churches, very often there are various skirmishes, quarrels, and sometimes, unfortunately, even fights. I don't think there will be any consequences. Such quarrels, unfortunately, will continue to occur in the future,” noted Alexander Dvorkin.

He also drew attention to the fact that the descent of the Holy Fire is not the basis of the Christian faith, unlike the Incarnation of the Lord Jesus Christ, his Death and Resurrection. “In this case, even if such a phenomenon as the Holy Fire did not exist, it would not change our faith in any way.

Alexander Dvorkin recalled that the Church of the Holy Sepulcher was built in the 4th century after the Nativity of Christ, and before that, the church existed without this temple for more than three centuries. “There was no Holy Fire, and this made the church no different, meaningless,” the interlocutor emphasized NSN.

During a verbal altercation in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, according to the Israel News portal, a representative of the Coptic church accused Agoyan of lying and demanded to immediately stop filming. In response to this, a representative of the Armenian Patriarchate objected that Copts were not present at the lighting of the fire, but the opponent continued to accuse his Armenian colleague of lying.

The Holy Fire symbolizes the miraculous light of the Resurrection of Christ, writes RIA Novosti. Every year on the eve of Easter he goes to the candles and lamp of the Patriarch of the Holy City of Jerusalem and All Palestine in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher.

In February 2018, Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat said that the municipality planned to collect more than $180 million in taxes from Christian denominations on real estate located in the city. As a sign of protest, Christian church leaders held the Church of the Holy Sepulcher for several days for pilgrims and tourists.

Take courage from the Lord and do not be afraid of the braggart who was weakened by Christ and who is now deprived of his strength and his former energy. He only arouses dreams and fears, only utters daring and insolent words. Receive grace from above to trample on it, and let there be strength in your members. And say: “Stop, enemy, fighting against me, for my father is vigilant for my sake and bears my shortcomings on himself. For my sake he suffers and fasts. Even if I fall seventy times seven, you will still be defeated.”

My son! if you begin to serve the Lord God, then prepare your soul for temptation: guide your heart and be strong, and do not be embarrassed during your visit; cleave to Him and do not retreat, so that you may be exalted in the end.

Whatever happens to you, accept it willingly, and be patient in the vicissitudes of your humiliation, for gold is tested in fire, and people pleasing to God are tested in the crucible of humiliation.

Let us remember, brothers and sisters, that Judas decided to betray Christ before the Last Supper, and after Christ they crucified him.

Not only do you willingly follow the Lord’s footsteps to Tabor, but also to Golgotha, that is, not only when you feel within yourself the Divine light and spiritual consolations and joys, but also when you are attacked by darkness, sorrow, hardship and bitterness, which sometimes once the soul tastes from demonic temptations, internal and external. Even if this cooling is accompanied by such darkness and confusion that you do not know what to do and where to turn, do not be afraid at the same time; but stand firm in your rank, stand on this cross humbly, far from yourself all earthly consolation that the world or the flesh, at the instigations of the enemy, decides to offer. Try also to hide this weakness of yours from everyone and do not talk about it to anyone except your spiritual father, without complaining, however, about the burden sent to you, but rather seek learning how to avoid it in the future, and endure this one complacently for now. God will be pleased to keep you in it.

Continue to perform your prayers, communion and other spiritual exercises, as usual, not to receive spiritual sweets, not in order to be removed from the real cross, but so that you are given the strength to remain complacently on it for the glory of the crucified Christ the Lord for us and always live and act in the way that is pleasing to Him. If sometimes you cannot pray in this state and remain in good thoughts, as usually happened, due to great darkness and confusion of the mind, do all this as best you can, only without laziness and self-indulgence; and what you cannot demonstrate perfectly by deed will be accepted as manifested perfectly by your desire, search and effort. Stay in this desire, search and effort and you will see the wondrous fruits of it - inspiration and strength that will fill your soul. St. Nicodemus Svyatogorets. Invisible Bran b

In spiritual warfare, the one who wins is the one who has the determination to never succumb to despair from endless falls and defeats. Monk Semyon of Athos.

Where does grace go? ->. About spiritual dryness and three periods of spiritual life

One of the best books about the search and acquisition of grace is the book about St. Silouan of Athos read

- Good afternoon, Father Andrey.

Father, please understand, I don’t know what to do. My husband drinks beer on weekends, I used to be more or less calm about this (I’ll mumble for the sake of order, so as not to relax), and we would never quarrel or make a row. In the summer I began to try to take communion every month, at first everything was fine, but the last time it was kind of terrible. I’m walking after communion, I think: that’s it, I won’t pay attention, I won’t swear, I come home - as soon as I see him, it’s as if someone is possessing me. I start screaming, crying, insulting him, although I understand with my mind that this is of no use, he does not offend me, does not insult me, it turns out that I am the instigator of everything? And this is all after communion. I'm starting to think that maybe I was poorly prepared, although I always try. After that, I walk around like I’m in a daze, bad thoughts come into my head, maybe I shouldn’t take communion so often? The husband says: have you noticed that you and I have begun to quarrel? What should I do, father? Help. God bless you!

The demon tempts you in this way, and this not only destroys your relationship, but also robs you after communion. We are well prepared, but the enemy of our salvation acts like this, and you be prepared and do not give in. Being kind and considerate with patience is what to do. Don't leave out the sacraments. God help and bless!

The Athonite monks, in addition to being constantly prayerful, following cell rules according to strength, and expecting every moment of temptation, had humility and self-reproach. Their humility consisted in the fact that they considered themselves worse than everyone else and worse than all creation, and their self-reproach was that in every unpleasant and regrettable case they laid the blame on themselves, and not on others, that they did not know how to act as they should, and from then trouble and sorrow resulted, or temptation was allowed for their sins, or to test their humility and patience and love for God; reasoning this way, they did not allow themselves to judge anyone, much less humiliate and despise (2, part 3, p. 60).

- Hello. Andrey!

1. On Sunday I received communion, after which my soul was filled with joy, peace and tranquility. After the sacraments there was a similar state, but not so great (I have been going to church for 1.5 years, I receive communion by fasting). And since Monday, just like a bolt from the blue - at work I was angry, angry, offended, for no reason. I myself don’t understand where all this comes from... Colleagues on Monday and yesterday were simply surprised. Yes, there are some problems... But all this could and should have been contained and overcome. Moreover, everyone understood that it was impossible, I needed to stop, and still answered rudely, the state was as if I had been offended and abandoned. All in all. I don’t remember this for a long time. In the evening I cried and prayed for forgiveness. I’ll tell you everything in confession, but the aftertaste remains and, apparently, will not go away soon. My colleagues know that I’m a believer, so I’ve disgraced my faith... They’ll probably think: “Hmm, he also believes..” It’s very shameful... Tell me, father, what is this? Maybe communion is a sin? Maybe my faith is hypocrisy?

2. Tomorrow there will be a festive service, and even in the church that I go to (and love) - this is a patronal holiday. I have female infirmities. Is it possible to come to the service without touching anything and without going up to be anointed?

Sorry for being emotional. Thank you!

1. No, communion is not a sin, but it is the enemy who robs a person with irritation. If you prayed well, wait for temptations. Demons take revenge, but if you prepare in advance for temptation and remember how and what they caught you with, you will learn to resist and become more spiritually experienced, and the enemy will be defeated.

Demons have a rule of attacking in turn - sometimes with irritation, sometimes with lustful thoughts, or kindling. So falling is useful for humility, but remember for the future and try not to give in. Spiritual life is work, and even more correct is fighting with demons. It won’t be easy, but it’s also difficult - we’re not ascetics. Don’t abandon your rules because of this and be sure to take communion - it will pass, but with time. Drowsiness and powerlessness may also attack, but do not pay attention, but know your business.

2. Yes, of course you can. Help Christ!

Irritation after communion

- Father, bless!

I congratulate you on the occasion! Love and patience to you! Today, with God’s help, my husband and I took communion. It felt so good, but about 20 minutes after communion I had a very strong attack of irritation, it was very difficult to control myself, I shushed my husband a couple of times for no reason. Then, after praying and overpowering myself, I seemed to calm down. It happened the first time. Somehow I was even upset. Maybe it’s worth repenting without waiting for the next communion? God bless you!

Thank you very much, and Happy Holidays to you! You can repent, but the enemy wanted to rob you, but it didn’t quite work out for him. God bless and preserve!

I go to church irregularly for Sunday liturgy, when time permits. I noticed that after this I often quarrel with my family. Is this some kind of demonic intrigue for going to church?

Yes. You received money (grace) there, so they want to rob you.

Strong temptations after communion

- Dear father, forgive me for disturbing you.

My wife and I have the following problem: we try to fight sins with virtues, read morning and evening prayers, confess and receive communion. But it often happens, especially with my wife, that immediately after visiting the temple we fall into sins. My wife is proud and angry, but I am very angry, I even raised my hand against my wife. My anger does not immediately escalate after communion, but my wife simply turns into a kind of snake, and then I, too, become a beast. But the most interesting thing is that if we do not go to confession and communion, then we sin much less and have spiritual unity, our wife becomes obedient and kind. Please help us figure this out.

It is the enemy who robs you of irritation. You need to survive this and overcome passions in order to further develop in your spiritual life. Lord help!

We read from the holy fathers that Satan’s main goal is to reject people from God. If a person lives on his own, outside the Church, then the evil one will also try to arrange it so that everything in the person’s life is prosperous. And as soon as a person starts going to church, trials immediately begin. This is a proven fact many times over. How to overcome these temptations? Ignore them. Go to church, live like a Christian. And soon these temptations will subside, Satan will retreat. But for now. So that after our new spiritual breakthrough, after reaching a “new height,” they will attack us again with more sophisticated and subtle temptations.

If you, dear reader, start going to church regularly, as we encourage, you will undoubtedly face temptations. Children can get sick and have a fever after church. Or headaches will appear. Or the child will fall out of the blue and, as soon as children can do this, he will certainly land his head on the stones.

But I assure you: The Lord will not allow anything terrible to happen. These are typical “insurances”. The evil one is trying to scare us, to force us to stop going to church. We will not give in to him. And the temptations will pass.

Often, after fervent prayer, demons attack us with great force, as if wanting to take revenge on us. Moreover, even after Communion, with the greatest bitterness, they try to instill in us unclean thoughts and desires, in order to take revenge on us for resistance and victory over them, and in order to reduce faith in us, trying, as it were, to prove that we are not there is no benefit from Holy Communion, and on the contrary, the struggle is even worse. But one should not be discouraged by this, understanding the cunning of the enemy to defeat him with faith and perseverance in the fight against him.

Svschmch. Seraphim (Zvezdinsky), bishop. Dmitrovsky (1883 ca. 1937).

The temptation that followed you after communion of the Holy Mysteries did not happen because, as you write, you went to church without diligence and prayed in your cell without paying attention, but because you prepared without humility, and if you had approached, like a publican, with humility and remembered If you accepted the Lord Himself within yourself, who humbled Himself for our sake, then all your pride would be trampled and turned to dust and could not be moved by one word spoken by your sister, you would not think about who is looking at you. The Lord Himself has deigned to visit the house of your soul, and the Heavenly Powers await Him, but what can you do? when you couldn’t use it for the benefit of that occasion, now reproach yourself, humble yourself, bring repentance, and you will receive God’s mercy, and henceforth try to remember your weakness and badness and not be moved by the word, but through it heal yourself from pride

(Venerable Macarius).

After communion, a person must preserve the shrine. It is wise to control your lips and avoid idle talk. We must move away from everything vain, passionate and generally spiritually unhelpful. You need to be especially attentive to yourself, because on such a day the enemy always tries to lead a person into temptation. If the sacrament was on a weekday, then you must fulfill your duties. Nothing interferes with work.

Priest Afanasy Gumerov, resident of Sretensky Monastery

“... GRACE ALWAYS PRECEDES TEMPTATIONS AS SOME NOTICE FOR PREPARATION”

Doing is not about trying and giving up. The work consists of going out into combat, winning, being defeated, gaining, losing, falling, getting up, overcoming everything and continuing the feat and struggle until your last breath.

And to never fall into arrogance until the soul leaves the body. But when she ascends to heaven, she must expect to descend to hell the next day. Not to mention that the descent can happen at the same moment. Therefore, a person should not be surprised at the changes, but should keep in mind that he has both.

Know that grace always precedes temptations as a kind of notice for preparation. And when you see grace, immediately become alert and say: “The declaration of war has come! Look, clay, where the evil one will give the signal for battle.” Often it comes quickly, and often in two or three days. In any case, he will come, and let the fortifications be firm: confession every evening, obedience to the elder, humility and love for everyone. And this way you will ease the grief.

Now, if grace comes before purification and the like, I ask for attention and clarity of mind.

Grace is divided into three orders: purifying, enlightening and perfect. And life is divided into three: according to nature, above nature, contrary to nature. According to these three ranks a person ascends and descends. And there are three great gifts that a person receives: contemplation, love, dispassion.

So: doing is facilitated by purifying grace, which helps in cleansing. And it was grace that prompted everyone who repented to repentance. And everything a person does is a work of grace, even if the one who has it does not know it. However, she raises him and mentors him. And according to the success that he receives, he ascends, or descends, or remains in the same state. If he has zeal and self-denial, then he ascends to contemplation, followed by the enlightenment of divine knowledge and partly dispassion. If zeal and zeal cool, the effect of grace also decreases.

Regarding the one who prays with knowledge, which you speak of, is one who knows what he is praying for and what he is asking of God. He who prays with knowledge does not talk too much, does not ask for unnecessary things, but knows the place, method and time and asks for what is suitable and useful for his soul. He communicates intelligently with Christ. He hugs Him and holds Him, and says: “I will never let You go.”

So, the one praying asks for forgiveness of sins, asks for the mercy of the Lord. If he asks for great gifts ahead of time, the Lord does not give it to him. For God gives them according to rank. And if you bother Him by asking, He allows the spirit of delusion to feign grace and deceive you, showing you one thing under the guise of another. Therefore, it is useless to ask for gifts beyond measure. But if you are heard before purification, without reaching the appropriate rank, they will turn into snakes and will bite you. You have sincere repentance, show obedience to everyone, and grace will come on its own, without your requests.

Man, like a babbling baby, asks God for His holy will. God, as the Most Good Father, gives him grace, but also gives him temptations. If he endures temptations without complaint, he receives an increase in grace. The greater the grace he receives, the greater the increase in temptations.

Demons, approaching to start a battle, do not go where you can easily defeat them, but check where your weak point is. Where you don't expect them at all, they break through the walls of the fortress. And when they find a weak soul and a weak spot, they always defeat the person there and make him guilty.

Are you asking God for grace? Instead of grace, He allows you temptation. Can't stand the abuse, do you fall? You are not given additional grace. Are you asking again? Temptation again. Defeat again? Again deprivation - and so on until the end of days. And you must emerge victorious. Resist temptation to the death. Fall exhausted in battle, crying out in exhaustion: “I will not let you go, sweetest Jesus! And I will not leave you! I will remain inseparable from You forever and for the sake of Your love I will die in the field.” And suddenly He appears in the field and calls out through the storm: “I am here! Gird up your loins like a husband and follow Me!” You are all light and joy: “Alas for me, wretched one! Alas for me, the wicked and indecent! With the hearing of the ear I heard Thee first, but now my eye sees Thee; I also reproach myself... and I remember earth and ashes for myself.”

Then you are filled with divine love. And your soul burns like Cleopas. And in the hour of temptation, you will no longer leave the veil and run away naked, but you will patiently endure sorrow, thinking: just as one temptation has passed and another, so will this one pass.

However, when you become discouraged and grumble and do not tolerate temptations, then, instead of winning, you must constantly repent: about daytime sins, about nightly negligence. And instead of receiving grace upon grace, you increase your sorrows.

Therefore, do not be afraid, do not be afraid of temptations. And if you fall many times, get up. Don't lose your cool. Don't despair. These are clouds that will pass.

And when, with the help of grace, which cleanses you from all passions, you go through everything that is “doing,” then your mind will taste enlightenment and move towards contemplation.

And the first is the contemplation of everything that exists: how God created everything for man, and also the angels themselves to serve him. What dignity, what greatness, what great destiny man has - this is the breath of God! Not to live here the few days of his exile, but to live forever with his Creator. See divine angels, listen to their indescribable singing. What a joy! What greatness! As soon as this life of ours reaches its end and these eyes close, others immediately open and a new life begins. Truly a joy that has no end.

Thinking about this, the mind becomes immersed in peace and extreme silence, which spreads throughout the body, and it completely forgets that it is in this life.

Such contemplations are replaced by one another. A person does not dream in his mind, but this is the state - the action of grace, which brings thoughts, and the mind reflects in contemplation. Man does not create them - they themselves come and delight the mind in contemplation. And then the mind expands and becomes different. The person is enlightened. Everything is open to him. He is filled with wisdom and, like a son, possesses what belongs to his Father. He knows that he is nothing, decay, but also the son of the King. He has nothing, but he has everything. It is filled with theology. He cries insatiably, confessing with full consciousness that his being is nothing. Its origin is clay. What about his life force? The breath of God is his soul. The soul flies straight to heaven! “I am the breath, the breath of God! Everything was destroyed and remained in the ground from which it was taken! I am the son of the eternal King! I am God by grace! I am immortal and eternal! In one moment I am next to my Heavenly Father!”

This is truly the destiny of man; FOR THIS he was created and must come to where he came from. These are the contemplations about which a spiritual person reflects. And he waits for the hour when he leaves the earth and his soul flies to heaven.

So, take heart, my child, and with this hope endure all pain and sorrow, because soon we will be worthy of all this for all of us - equal. We are all children of God. We cry to Him day and night and to our sweet Mother, the Lady of all, who never leaves those who pray to Her.

• HOW YOU CAN LOVE ABUSERS