Hello. I am 27 years old, married. My husband has a second marriage, from the first he has a daughter of 9 years old, I myself am pregnant, 26 weeks. The problem is that his daughter basically lives with us and we are jealous of each other. She does everything so that he sleeps with her, and not with me, she is constantly naughty, they say, I want to sleep with dad, and, of course, he sleeps with her, and I sleep alone. Then, she is very happy when we quarrel with him, and gets angry when we joke with him or he hugs me ... I understand that she is small, that I am ashamed to write such things in principle, but believe me, she leads sometimes herself not as a 9-year-old girl, but as an adult, and it seems to me that her mother, that is, the first wife, persuades her how to behave, because she does not mind getting back together with her husband. I tried to talk with his daughter, they say, let's be friends, soon you will have a brother or sister, she is happy, helps, but then everything starts all over again, jealousy, envy, and so on ... My husband is crazy about my daughter, and I'm afraid that -either talk to him about this topic, because I know that he will be on her side. I understand that from the outside it looks stupid, but believe me, it’s very hard for me to live like this, I hope for one thing that when my baby is born, everything will change ... Please tell me how to behave, what am I wrong about, what to do... Or maybe it's just during pregnancy, I take everything to heart... Waiting for advice, thanks in advance.

Svetlana, Kazakhstan, 27 years old / 08.12.09

Opinions of our experts

• Alyona

  I think it's important to talk to your husband. And precisely because his second child will be born soon. If dad is now so indulging his daughter's whims, then what stress will be for her later when he switches to a younger child? And if he does not plan to deal with the younger, then what was the point of starting a family and bringing your sexual relationship to pregnancy? A girl entering the pubertal period of development has no place in bed next to an adult man, no matter who it is: dad, older brother, grandfather ... This can lead to problems in her own personal life in the future, at least. As a maximum, a girl may want to replace her mother in the literal sense. Until everything has gone off the brakes, it is necessary to discuss with her husband the inappropriateness of spending the night in the same bed with her daughter. Her desire to fall asleep next to dad can be quite limited by the ritual of putting to bed with reading a fairy tale, wishing good night, and that's it. You are a wife and you have the right to negotiate with your husband to what extent he will fulfill the whims of his daughter. Spouses should have their own bedroom, children should have their own. It does not matter what marriage these children are from, whether they are common or not. But at 9 years old, the child should sleep in his own bed and in his own room (if there is one in the house). Anyway, this is not discussed. Children should not make adjustments in the personal lives of parents on such a personal level, such as with whom mom and dad can sleep and with whom not. If the husband does not understand this, insist on going with him to a psychologist. I strongly doubt that he would have liked it if you had a son from your first marriage, about ten or twelve years old (boys develop more slowly than girls), who would demand that his mother sleep with him, and not with a new husband. So things like this need to be discussed. You are not against the girl, you are against some of her unreasonable and psychologically flawed demands. And in general, you should not be so afraid to express your own opinion to your husband, you are not a young girl, you are 27 years old, and you, by the way, are a wife and almost already the mother of his child. As for my husband's daughter: I would simply not pay attention to some of her actions. It is because she is a child. Children tend to be jealous even of their mother to their father and vice versa, to say nothing of the second spouses of divorced parents. And one more thing: it is fundamentally wrong to try to become a girlfriend for a 9-year-old girl. You are 18 years older than her, what kind of girlfriends can there be? Friendship implies an equal sign. The only possible relationship between you is the relationship of an adult woman and a child. You make the mistake of trying to be friends with your husband's daughter, thereby provoking her behavior and methods of dealing with you as an equal. And the funny thing is that you yourself already perceive her as an equal to yourself. She is a child. And you don't have to fight or be friends with her. She needs to be educated and guided. When she enters your house, behave like an elder, without shyness and without looking back at what your husband says. Act the same as if it were your child. For good deeds encourage, for bad - ask to the fullest extent. And you need to tell your husband directly: when a girl lives with you, she must obey the rules of your house. There is nothing good in a child who sat on the head of adults just because they could not sort out their personal lives in time.

• Sergey

  In my opinion, you should have a serious talk with your husband first. You just need to dot your own relationships. Without this, nothing good will happen. Personally, it is strange for me to hear that an adult pregnant woman is afraid to talk about something with her husband. Especially about what worries her and is important from the point of view of normal coexistence. I believe that until there is mutual understanding and mutual support between you, you will not be able to “resolve” the situation. It is clear that the girl is jealous of her father. It is clear that she wants to return everything to normal. But you can deal with this. The main thing is to act as a united front. After all, if you feel the support of your husband, then you will calm down and be able to reason sensibly, you will be able to enter into the position of a child, who is also oh so not sweet now. And if you understand it, then the attitude will change. After all, while you are not behaving like an adult, wise woman, and indulgence of your husband only aggravates the situation. And if everything goes on in the same vein, then it is possible that the situation will reach complete absurdity and a direct, uncontrolled conflict. And this is very bad for everyone. I can also say from experience that it is difficult to understand someone with whom you do not communicate. Try to pay as much attention to the girl as possible. Not once a month offer to become friends, but constantly involve her in your own affairs. Talk to her, ask for help, help. That is, replace her temporarily absent mother. Yes, it's very difficult. It is clear that you will not completely replace it, but in some things - very much so. At least your attention and care will not go unpunished. And even if there is no great love between you, there will be respect. Only your interest must be sincere. In general, there are options for the development of events in a favorable direction. But only if you and your husband find a common language.

Moscow life

When we moved from Nizhny Novgorod to Moscow, I was four years old. Mom had long planned to move to the capital and finally found a way out - marriage with a Muscovite. And not fictitious, but "out of love." With his hand. The groom at that time was enviable - an engineer, his own three-room apartment. That's how we moved. My stepfather did not have a soul in me, he treated me like my own, I called him dad. Mom was very grateful to him for this and with a vengeance forked the family nest.

Then came the restructuring. My stepfather did not particularly want to work, from the position of an engineer he moved to work as a part-time watchman, saying that "this way he will devote more time to his family." At the same time, my mother plowed as a waitress in a restaurant in two shifts, that is, she brought the main income: at that time, the salary of an engineer was not lying next to the income of a waitress. Well, in the evenings, a constant beer-wine brought by my mother from work.

While my mother worked, my stepfather sat with me: he taught me to read, bathed, walked. On my mother’s rare weekends, the whole family went to the cinema or just went to the park for a walk. In general, a normal family.

Ugly duck

At school, I felt like an ugly duckling: I was fat, I studied for triples, the boys did not pay attention at all. And, as it seemed to me then, I was nothing of myself, I had no abilities, my mother always said: "With your talents, you need to get a specialty and go to work." Of course, I liked the prettiest boy in the class, but I didn’t even dare to dream about him, I understood that he would never pay attention to me.

When I was fourteen, my mother got a job as a bartender on a steamboat. It's the 90th year in the yard, and the cruise ship is a thieves' place, a gold mine. Mom began to go on cruises on the Moscow River and the Volga for 2-3 days per flight.

And I, as always, stayed with my stepfather. In principle, there was nothing to be afraid of, since he raised me and never heard a bad word from him, let alone a gesture.

So it's been a little over a year. I entered a technical school, a new life began, new girlfriends. Once I came home from a disco, in a new short plaid skirt, I felt almost beautiful. My stepfather was drunk - lately he has been drinking more and more. Out of nowhere, he started to stick. I quickly went to my room and closed it.

After a couple of hours, when he calmed down, I went to the toilet. Suddenly, in the corridor, he ran into me, scooped me up in an armful and dragged me into their bedroom with my mother. I tried to scream, but he covered his mouth with his hand. And what happened happened. All this time it seemed to me that this was not happening to me or just a bad dream. It just didn't fit in my head that the one I call dad and this strange cruel man who breathes fumes on me are one and the same person.

Shame

When he fell asleep, I got up and went to take a shower. She threw away that unfortunate skirt, as if if I had been dressed in something more modest, nothing would have happened. Then she locked herself in her room again, there were no tears, there was a shock. In the morning, as soon as it became light outside the window, she ran away from home without even having breakfast. But the cold and hunger still forced me to come home in the evening. There was one more day before my mother returned from the flight.

At home, my stepfather, as if nothing had happened, poured me some soup and warned: if I blabbed to my mother, he would tell me that I myself molested him. That he is not a fool, he saw me in front of him in short skirts twirling his booty and walking half-naked without a bra. But I myself would remain silent. I was ashamed in front of my mother, she often liked to repeat that if a woman does not want, a man will not pay attention.

Now I think that, probably, this attention of an adult man flattered me in some way, there was a feeling that I was somehow cooler than prettier girlfriends. The fear was later, when I lied to my first boy in the first year of the institute about my first love, about the young man with whom everything was. You can't tell me that my first experience was a drunken stepfather.

hell year

Under the pretext of "I'll tell my mother that you molested me," this went on for about a year. When my mother was on a flight, I tried not to catch my stepfather's eyes, if I had the opportunity, I stayed overnight with my friends. But it didn't always work out that way. Sometimes I had to sleep with him. Not often, once every couple of months, when my mother was gone, and my stepfather got drunk. It's strange that it didn't fly. Everything was like in a dream.

Why endured? She did not want to disturb her mother, although she looked strong, she sometimes complained that her heart was pounding. That’s why you didn’t tell me years later, you still won’t change anything. Mom married this freak for the apartment, that is, for me. So that I have more opportunities, a good future. She could not know how I would have to pay for these "opportunities". And I didn’t go to the police for the same reason: there would be a scandal, but it’s useless, they won’t rewind my life back.

Then the attitude towards the stepfather changed. A quiet hatred rolled in, very calm. Just the smell of it made me sick.

New life

In my first year of college, I found a job and moved out. I began to rent an apartment with a friend-classmate. Mom reacted normally to this: she herself began an independent life early. She never guessed that I literally ran away from home because of my stepfather.

Occasionally I came to visit my mother, we all sat together at the dinner table, behaved as usual, and my stepfather also no longer pestered me. But still, I never stayed overnight, my mother didn’t insist, we sat, drank wine - that’s all.

Mom divorced him eight years later: he was already drinking seriously. After the divorce, she did not live with him, remaining registered in the apartment, she rented a odnushka in the suburbs, being already retired. But at the same time, she did not break ties with her stepfather at all. When my stepfather was seriously ill before his death, I went to him at the request of my mother: either to bring food or medicine. He almost didn't recognize me. When he died, we got a three-room apartment.

I have a son

It is strange that then, in my youth, I even treated this with understanding, well, a sick person, what can you do ... Now, years later, I understand that my stepfather is just scum. They need to be shot. As I didn’t tell my mother, I won’t say it, let her live in peace. If I had to confess, then, in my youth, but now why stir up? For her to think that while she was earning money, her daughter was raped? I myself am a mother, I would not like to receive such confessions at the end of my life, although I still don’t understand how she didn’t feel that something was wrong, why she didn’t ask.

Now I’m in such a f*ck, I don’t even know how to describe it all ... Well, my dad and mom, I can’t say that they loved each other very much. They quarreled with each other around the clock and all that. When I was 13 years old (now 18) dad often began to lie in the hospital. For a week, for two weeks, sometimes for a month. Mom said that he burned all his lungs by smoking. She somehow did not worry about him, all the time she brought her friends to visit. Well, I didn’t worry either, I thought if my mother was not worried, then my father would be cured soon. Once I get up late at night, leave the room - my mother in her room is given to some peasant on all fours. I was in such shock, I could not look at her for a long time. Then sometimes I saw her with this man, tried not to notice and not think about them.
Three years ago, my father died. Mother six months later married that lover of hers. I felt so sorry for my dad, and there was no one to even complain to. Well, I couldn’t, in fact, say that mom cheated on dad for three years. I cried and, as always, pretended not to understand.
And the stepfather ... Well, at first everything was fine. And then it turned out that it was impossible to argue with him at all. He began to beat his mother every time she objected to him in some way. I was scared, I didn't know what he would do to me. I tried to come home late, just to eat and go to bed right away.
And this spring I fell in love with a boy. All our girls liked him, and when we started dating, I was in seventh heaven with happiness. Once, in the summer, we had sex with him. Then he walked me home and kissed me near the entrance. I go home, it seems, the happiest in the world. And my mother is not at home. Then my stepfather comes out and says that he saw everything, called me a slut and said that he would tell his mother everything. I was so scared, I imagined how everyone around me was called a slut. Now I understand that my stepfather did not know and did not see anything, except for a kiss. And then kapets how scary it was. He also said that I would have to pay for his silence. I had no doubt what I would have to pay, only spread my legs in front of him. Since that time, my stepfather comes into my room when my mother is not at home, and then you know what. He is usually gentle with me. He keeps saying that he loves me and only me. That he only married my mother to be closer to me. At some point, I even believed him. After all, he doesn’t beat me like a mother, doesn’t drag me by the hair, so maybe he really loves me.
A week ago, he invited me to his place. He kissed me for a long time, I kissed him too, it was nice. And after sex, he showed me his camera. He hid her in the room to film how we fuck. He said that he would keep the video as a keepsake. Now I'm constantly thinking about what to do next. I tried to find the camera, but it's nowhere to be found. He doesn't have a video on his computer either.
If my mother sees this video, I will never be able to justify myself to her. on that video you can definitely see how we kiss, you can see my orgasm! How can I explain to her that he started all this himself?! my mother will kill me, but I never wanted him myself, he always starts on his own! He lied to me all this time, from the very beginning, and I believed everything! he never loved me, he just lusted after me so that I wouldn't tell my mother! it's a shame that I'm such a fool, fell for all this! so ashamed that I *** from having sex with him, am I really a slut?! if dad knew, then he would think of me!
I so wanted to go to college, but now I want to leave it. Well fuck them all. I'm going to go somewhere else in the city. I will rent an apartment and work as a saleswoman, I have already worked.

Divorce with children from one to three years. They can easily resort to regressions in their development, that is, reverting to some patterns of behavior that have already been overcome, such as getting wet or talking again when they were younger. It is also likely that the baby will return, require much more attention, and be nocturnal. Divorce with children from 3 to 6 years. The child will probably think it's his fault and react in the opposite way: either he becomes very obedient, or also more aggressive or rebellious than his character expected.

Things in life don't always turn out the way we would like. There are such unpleasant situations when suddenly it does not become near.

The reasons can be different - he died, went to another, or just lives separately on his own - it doesn’t matter, it’s just dad is not around.

Unfortunately, this is a common situation these days. It is clear that sooner or later a mother will meet a man with whom she will decide to build a destiny and share a common life - her, a child and a new man, someone else's uncle for her daughter or son.

At this age they often appear; some suffer from conscription, which manifests itself with symptoms of withdrawal, reduced concentration, or even denial of school attendance. Divorce with children under 6 years old. Children 5 years old, in addition to the fear of being abandoned, can manifest along with a deep sense of loss, and they feel that they must decide between their parents. They live the situation with feelings of rejection and frustration at being "abandoned". Their school performance tends to decrease. In some cases, if they don't know how to express what they feel, they turn their sadness into truth.

Quite often it happens that a family unites from the very beginning and turns into one whole, into one friendly and strong team. Relations between all its members are based on respect, understanding and trust. It's great when it works like that!

But there are also situations when, from the moment a new man appears in the house, life seems to start to go awry. Mom, trying to build a relationship with her stepfather, pays less attention to the child or even forgets about him.

They may suffer from disorders and adopt regressive behavior. Divorce with children from 6 to 9 years. Feelings of rejection, reconciliation fantasies, and loyalty issues emerge. Children may experience anger, sadness, and nostalgia for parents who have passed away. When spouses have had serious conflicts, children may fight with their parents. In other cases, they are ignored in the material aspect, forcing them to cook food, look after children and take on responsibilities too heavy for their age.

Divorce with children aged 9 to 12. Children often express feelings of shame at their parents' behavior, including anger or anger towards the one who made the decision to separate. A very typical behavior is to reproach parents for not solving their family problems. In addition, attempts are being made to reconcile parents and psychosomatic problems.

The stepfather, having got into a new family, where everything has already been established - both life and hobbies, is trying to contribute or rebuild everything for himself. Undoubtedly, a warm and friendly atmosphere in such situations is out of the question.

Children suffer the most in these situations. Not only do they not have the opportunity to receive attention and love from their father, but also the mother deprives the child of part of her attention.

Divorce with teenagers. Su is affected and can develop habits of their own age such as smoking, drinking or having more independence. Between the ages of 13 and 18, the separation of the parents will raise ethical issues and therefore will create strong conflicts between the need to love father and mother and the disapproval of their behavior.

Please enter a valid email address that will not be displayed on our page. There are specific cases in which physical separation inevitably occurs for the benefit of the spouse or children. But the great wave of divorces that has plagued this country in the last decade is not due solely to emergencies. Loving is a voluntary act, not a feeling, and also requires a willingness to love another person with their shortcomings and their virtues. Parents who say their children are the most important and divorce don't really know what is most important to them. When a couple has a child, there are many relatives who immediately have a new "position".

I think everyone understands that only the mother and the adequacy of the stepfather are able to “resolve” this situation in the house.

It is the mother who knows how to behave with the child, knows what kind of man she is, his principles and character - therefore, only she can draw up a plan for normal or even good interaction between all members.

Why does a child feel so strongly about the divorce of his parents?

Firstly Whatever the father of the child is, he is still his own. The child is already attached to him, and it is much more difficult for children to change their life arrangement and adapt to a new situation than for adults. It's practically unrealistic.

A couple is “dad” and “mum”, the child becomes a “son”, the brothers and sisters of dad and mom are “uncles” and “aunts”, and the parents of dad and mom are “grandparents” and “grandmothers”. This is done, first of all, by grandmothers and grandmothers, who soon provide their services if they can somehow deal with grandmothers.

All right, however, in some cases, grandparents and grandparents also working with parents become too intrusive in what the parents do or stop doing with their child, creating discomfort in which the parents of the child they are not very good at. know how to react as they are still children and, in many cases, act as such.

Secondly, the child does not understand the true parents. He thinks that he lost the love of one of his parents only because he himself is to blame. He takes the blame for what happened on himself, thinking that his disobedience or stubbornness is to blame. In any case, he thinks that he has fallen out of love, so they part.

And one more interesting feature - the little man still does not know how to separate himself from mom and dad, and perceives himself and his parents as a single whole.

Grandparents, for self-confidence, are often more advisory, even when no one has asked for their opinion. If you also raise your child in a different way than with him, then disputes are filed because they will assume that you do not know, or that you cannot raise your child, and they will put a hand in this matter to prevent it from being too late .

And to know what, as they say, to know, we do not know. We do what we think is the best at every moment. So if we hit, we hit, and if we miss, we miss. Undoubtedly, our parents made many mistakes with us, and they undoubtedly tried to correct them. We must do the same and make mistakes in order to correct, learn and make mistakes on the way back and on a new path.

Therefore, if parents part with a scandal, insult and humiliate each other, then the baby projects all this onto himself.

Make it clear to your child that he does not have to and should not pretend to trust and love your partner.

For the first time, just respect and a sense of courtesy for an adult who builds relationships with his mother will be enough for the first time - similar to that in relationships with other adults

When the grandparents comments and advice starts flowing and they notice that they are not getting the results they usually insist in such a way that it can become harmful as sometimes they focus their comments on the child.

To give an example, when a mother tells her daughter that she shouldn't pick up the baby and she doesn't pay too much attention, the mother is left with the feeling that "my daughter is ignoring me, this baby will end up badly." Thus, when a child shows that he wants to be almost exclusively with his mother, a very normal behavior of children in certain eras, the grandmother can use this fact as an argument that adds credibility to their beliefs: See?

Try to maintain an atmosphere of calm and stability in the family, and most importantly, your usual routine. Remember that each member of the family must have their own obligations.

If possible, create the most favorable atmosphere for the child's meetings with his absent parent - your ex-spouse.

Something that also happens in some families is that when you have a child, the grandparents will show up at home to "see their grandchild" without warning. Sometimes such visits can be appreciated, however, the most common is that the unexpected disruption of good family harmony.

That grandparents come when the baby is sleeping, or when the mother is in bed trying to regain lost sleep at night, or when she and her partner are trying to calm down a bit at home to keep the baby calm, can be quite problematic.

Stepfather's behavior

If you decide to start building a relationship with a woman who already has a child (or children), then you should be ready to change your life.

Starting to build such a relationship means you need to adjust to the lifestyle of mom and baby.

For all these reasons, the ideal in this case is to veto the visits and create a sham agenda by appointment. You should not call on the phone and ask: "When is it better when we go." It is much less surprising and much easier for the child's parents if they have to say, "You'd better not come today."

It is possible that grandparents, despite their parents' refusal to follow their advice, feel rejected and even judging by the way they were born with their children, are now parents. Fortunately, the child must be very poorly educated for the consequences of such education to be evident in adulthood. Soon you will make a little effort so that you have a son who is more or less healthy, emotionally speaking and able to adapt to various life situations. Some will be more outgoing and others less so, some will be considered rare, extravagant or different and others a bunch, but most will be accepted in society.

Do not expect that the child will throw himself on your neck, as to his own - this trust and love must be won. Of course, not with commanding manners, but with love and affection.

You must understand his feelings and experiences. After all, for a small child to accept a new parent means to betray him, even if this separation was a long time ago.

First of all, you must become an adult friend for him. Gradually begin to merge into his affairs and activities and soon begin to do it together.

Our parents raised and raised us in the best way they knew and were able to do. Some with great success and some with less. For this reason, they cannot be reproached for anything, because we acting parents do the same with our children: educate them as we know and can.

Those who feel insecure about how to act ask for advice and then decide what to do. Those who are clear how to teach, listen to free advice and then decide what to do. In both cases, the decision will be according to what they consider to be the best, even if the advice received is not followed.

Many commit by starting to raise someone else's child according to their own requirements. Remember - it is not he who should adapt to you, it is you who should be able to adapt to the way of his life. It will be much easier for you than for him. Become an unobtrusive mentor and educator for him.

Why is a bad relationship established between a child and a stepfather

All initiative comes initially from the child. A stepfather is a rival for a child in terms of winning love, attention, care and affection.

Dad, Mom, thanks for your advice, but Martin is our son, and we will decide what we think is better or worse for their education. Don't be offended if we don't follow your advice or share your opinion. You had your opportunity with us and you did everything you could and knew, but now we have to educate our son and make decisions that we have to make ourselves.

By the way, we love that you come home to see us, but call ahead. For many, being a good stepfather can be a real headache, as no one teaches you how to be a good father to your children, yet teaches you to borrow a child. Whether we like it or not, being a stepfather means fathering children that are not yours and take care of them as if they were our own, which is why many of us want to be a good element in this role of being a good stepfather.

The child understands that now mother's love will be divided between him and his stepfather. This is an indescribable pain for him.

Mom and dad are everything for a child! This is his protection, patronage and reliable companion in life. Therefore, the appearance of another person, and a stranger, unfamiliar, is the risk of losing what has already been acquired and familiar in terms of emotions and feelings.

Let's put it the way they are, stepfather is a word that doesn't sound good, movies and TV have used the word "stepmother" and very often for characters that don't have anything good. Even the definition of the word has a negative connotation. Mother's husband, in relation to the children that she previously had.

Bad father. A stepfather is a male figure related to children, as they are likely to be in contact with him longer than his biological father, so it is important for children that this relationship is natural, loving and respectful. Our recommendations are not ranked by importance, so we recommend reading them one at a time. And, just in case, everything was written.

That is why the child begins to conflict, he is against rivalry, he is eager for this person to leave their home, and hence their life.

It also follows from this that the child is simply jealous of his mother for someone else's uncle. But the manifestation of the same jealousy is also often possible from the stepfather.

Don't expect your stepson to respond with care and love at first. Many times they experienced difficult emotional situations related to their biological father and the separation from their mother. Perhaps your mother was alone and your presence may bring back bad memories. For many children, it can be difficult to accept a new love relationship from their mother. It is better to act positively and be patient, in time your stepchildren will get easier.

Many people make the mistake of buying all the fancy toys and giving them a taste of everything to their new stepchildren. Material things never become love, you may get a little more approval, but giving them toys and candy will not make a child feel love for you. This does not mean that you should not buy something or give him a treat from time to time, but it will certainly be much better if you give some of your time.

The situation is quite difficult - you need to behave correctly to your mother so as not to disturb the life that has been established in her family.

It is mothers who very often make the grossest mistake, thanks to which she can lose not only the location of the child, but also disrupt relations with her loved one.

Why do problems start in the house with the advent of a new family member? As I said, with the advent of a strange man in the house, the established life is undergoing changes - it takes time to get used to, understand and accept them.

Mom's behavior

The role of the mother in this situation plays a dominant and very important role. It depends only on you how the new family situation will develop. You must correct the behavior of each family member so that everyone can live comfortably and live side by side with each other.

Unfortunately, things don't always go according to plan. In this case, create certain rules that all participants in the process of building a new strong and friendly family must follow. Resolve disputes on and ONLY in a friendly atmosphere.

Remember, the child copies the behavior of adults. Therefore, if you do not want to have problems with the behavior of the child, watch your own behavior.

Show him an example of correct behavior - yours should become an example for him to follow. And remember, a healthy personality is formed in an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding on the part of all family members.

Let's look at how to properly behave mom:

1. Gather everyone at the table;
2. Tell your child about the new family member stepfather. There is no need to force him to love this person. It is important that the child treats him with respect, if only because he is an adult, and elders must be treated with respect.
3. Warn the stepfather that at first there will undoubtedly be difficulties and they need to be endured with dignity. As for the child, you need to be wise and help her survive and get used to the new member, which will also treat the child with respect. No need to try to remake it and adjust it for yourself - this will cause a wave of negativity in it.
4. Explain to everyone that all together should not stir up conflicts, but try to find a compromise and make concessions. This needs to be shown by example, not just talked about.

All this is possible only if adults are wise in their approach to problems and disagreements that arise. If they do not demand too much from the child, the main thing is reciprocal sense of respect for adults. Accordingly, parents should respect the feelings and needs of the child.

I strongly advise that in order to improve and strengthen the relationship between all members, you need to devote as much time as possible to joint hobbies. Find 2-3 common hobbies and devote time to them at least on weekends.

I won't believe it if you say that you are all different and you don't have common hobbies! There are categories of recreation that cannot but be liked. For example, travel, sports, extreme sports and many other categories.

No matter how the relationship develops in your family, always remember one thing - learn to share your feelings, emotions and experiences and be patient with each other, respect and be wise in words and deeds.

“Misha and I have been married for about three years. After the wedding, we rented an apartment, but my husband lost his job, and we had to move in with my mother. At first, the relationship between son-in-law and mother-in-law developed well. And then off we go. Misha constantly found fault with his mother and made scandals. He didn’t like how she cooked borscht, then how she wiped the dust. In a word, he was not satisfied with everything that my mother does. Living together was simply unbearable. But in order to rent a separate apartment again, there was no question: there was a catastrophic lack of money. Then we decided to stay with my husband's parents for a while. That's where it all happened...

He stroked my butt

Mishka was looking for a job every day. He came home only in the evening. His mother worked several hours a day as a cleaner in a grocery store, and spent the rest of the time in the garden. The father-in-law sat on a well-deserved rest and lay on the couch all day, staring at the TV. In general, most of the time we were alone in the apartment. At first, my second dad just threw lustful looks at me. I was terribly embarrassed and averted my eyes. When he realized that shooting with his eyes did not work, he decided to seduce me in a different way. I was peeling potatoes in the kitchen, he came up behind me and began to stroke my ass. I jumped away from him, shamed him and demanded an explanation. But the father-in-law only smiled and climbed to kiss. I dropped the knife, ran out of the kitchen and locked myself in the closet. I was disgusted, but it was all exciting at the same time. I decided not to tell my husband. Why ruin a relationship?

It's impossible to get away...

The next time, my father-in-law asked me to make coffee and bring it to his room. When I went in to see him, I dropped my cup from what I saw: daddy was watching porn! What the hell was happening on the screen. He gave me a languid look and offered to do ... the same. I said no, but... I decided to watch the movie for a bit too. And again I felt both self-loathing and insane excitement at the same time! Then the father-in-law went to the bathroom and asked to rub his back. I didn't answer, but a few minutes later I went after him. Seeing a naked man, I was very embarrassed and wanted to leave. But when she looked at his manhood (which was just huge!), She herself attacked her husband's father! What happened in the bathroom was simply indescribable. I have never experienced such an orgasm. I love my husband very much, and in bed with him, in principle, I’m not bad, but ... His father made me feel like a real woman. I can’t stop intimate relations with this man - such a thrill! What will happen to my marriage?

Hello, dear editors of "Love!"

It all started when we were relaxing in a sanatorium. One day my father and I were in the shower. It had happened before, but this time it was different. When I saw a naked wet father, and especially his cock, I was wildly aroused (so much so that my own penis got up). Father, watching me, was not at all surprised and asked: "Do you want me?" I was dumbfounded by such a reaction, but still answered: "Yes." Then the father said: "So take me in your mouth or put your penis in my anus." Without thinking twice, I knelt down and took my father's penis in my mouth (he also got up). Father gladly stuck a member deeper and began rhythmic movements. After a while, with a groan from the onset of orgasm, he violently finished in my mouth, and I happily swallowed his sperm. Then the father said, "Now it's my turn." We got out of the shower, I lay down on the bed, my father took my dick in his mouth and also gave me a cool blowjob. For the first time, it ended there. However, we couldn't stop.

After returning from the sanatorium, we had sex every day, and sometimes several times a day. Now it was more than just blowjobs. We loved anal sex. I especially like it when my father inserts a member into my anus and masturbates my penis with his hands. As a result, you get double the pleasure. We also love to cum in each other's hands, then coat our penises, testicles and anus with sperm, and then, taking the position of "69", lick each other's sperm.

What we do in bed, I think even the author of "Kama Sutra" can envy. We can have sex all day long without stopping.

At home, we go completely naked, because at any moment we may have an irresistible desire to have sex. We sleep together and sometimes even in the position in which we had sex. For example, I may not take my penis out of my father's anus or vice versa.

His father's friends advise him to get a girlfriend, because he is still quite young (only 34 years old), but he brushes it off and says that living with his own son is much better. Yes, if others knew how we "live" ...

Perhaps someone will consider us complete perverts, but in any case, my father and I like this life, and we are not going to change it. I am still interested in knowing the opinion of readers about our relationship with my father.