Nervous people are avoided and slightly feared. It is unpleasant to deal with a person who at any moment can flare up, get agitated, cry - in general, behaves unpredictably. To avoid being branded as a person with frayed nerves, learn to control the expression of emotions.

Remember the cat Leopold with his unbending optimism - “We will survive this”? And Carlson’s favorite advice is “Calm, just calm”?

It’s not for nothing that cartoon characters taught us to remain calm in any situation. An irritable person who quickly loses his temper is unable to work effectively and make difficult decisions.

Nervous people are less “loved”; they are infrequent guests at parties (see “”). Any little thing - a foot crushed in the subway or dirt on your shoes - can turn a seemingly normal person into a furious fury. How to deal with aggressiveness? How to reduce stress and not get angry at others?

Physical methods of self-control

A very simple way to not give back to the offender and not lash out at others is to start controlling your breathing. As soon as a wave of anger is ready to cover you completely, do breathing exercises - breathe “in a square”.

It has been noticed that people breathe differently at different periods of their activity - changing their nostrils and breathing method. “In a square” - this means first with the left nostril, then with the right, then with the stomach and at the end of the cycle with the chest. Even focusing on how you breathe will distract you from the offense, and you yourself will not notice that the situation no longer annoys you and you are even ready to laugh at it.

An even simpler way is to hold your breath and exhale slowly after half a minute. Holding your breath will slightly reduce brain activity.

Remember how rarely a sleeping person breathes - at these moments he is serene and no little thing will make him angry. To prevent nervous overstrain, you can meditate daily - for half an hour, no longer necessary (see “”). Just force yourself into a state of half-asleep with slow, controlled breathing.

Something pleasant will help you quickly take your mind off troubles. Think about what gives you at least short-term pleasure - maybe it's a cake or a cup of tea? The main thing is that this something should be simple and quickly doable. If you choose something tasty as a sedative, do not forget to control yourself so as not to gain excess weight.

If you constantly get a portion of unpleasant sensations at work or at home, start playing sports, preferably with elements of competition. This is where you can release the accumulated aggression - by driving the ball into the opponent’s goal or overtaking him in the stadium. If such active sports are not suitable for you, do yoga. This is a difficult practice, but once mastered, you will find “universal” peace.

Psychological methods of self-control

If you have a constant level of stress at work, and simple actions do not help, master more complex techniques:

Try not to aggravate the situation by retelling it to all your friends and acquaintances. Even with the best intentions, they will feel sorry for you and only provoke you. First, go through the difficulties within yourself, maybe it turns out that there is nothing to share.

Instead of tearing and throwing around under stress, sit down and think about what the most restrained and calm person from your environment would do in your place.

Imagine how you calm down without screaming. Or you can simply remember a similar situation when you were still able to control yourself and not yell at your loved ones.

Write a list of your personal irritants. If you know the enemy by sight, it is easier to fight him.

Take time to switch between different activities. For example, before you come home from work, sit on a bench for a few minutes and catch your breath. This way you seem to leave work problems at work and are ready to meet your family in a good mood.

Start leading a healthy lifestyle - get enough sleep, eat according to a schedule, try not to get carried away with caffeine and other energy drinks. Try drinking mate or rooibos daily. This tea is not only tasty, but also beneficial for the nervous system. Make sure to exercise your body on a regular basis. Mild fatigue promotes sound sleep and a lower threshold of irritability.

Every person needs calm - both his own and the balance of others. Remember, nerve cells do not regenerate. And the more often you lose your temper over trifles, the more difficult it will be for you to be in society. Start working on yourself right now, and then tomorrow's traffic jam will not affect you as much as usual.

When I was a little younger, I had big goals and aspirations and a strong desire to achieve them every day of my life. In those days, my greatest desire was to live each day with dignity and peace of mind - to be equanimous and move peacefully from one task to another with concentration and calm, controlled energy.

Does everything seem simple? Probably no. But there are steps we can take to at least stay calm more often. Why be calm? Damn it because it feels fantastic! Anger and impatience wear on our hearts, our souls, and our families. When we control our emotions, we get more done, communicate better, and live more productive and purposeful lives.

1. Try not to be dramatic

It is very easy to dramatize and make mountains out of molehills. In any stressful situations, when the problem concerns you, do not give in to the impulse to exaggerate the negative. Avoid the words “always” and “when.” You may feel like Stuart Smalley, but telling yourself “I can handle this,” “It’s okay,” and “I’m stronger than this” can really help you look at the problem differently.

2. Think before sharing a problem.

Don't talk about, blog, or tweet about your problem. Don't discuss it with your friends right away; digest it yourself first, this will give you time to calm down a little. Sometimes, well-meaning friends are too sympathetic to you. This only adds fuel to the fire and makes you even more upset.

3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm.

Here's what helps me: I try to think of the problem as a node. The more I panic and pull at the ends, the tighter the knot gets. But when I focus completely, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time.

It also helps if you imagine yourself acting calm and focused. Stop shouting and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become the calm and calm person you see in your imagination.

Here's another trick: Do you know anyone who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place.

4. Identify the factors that drive you crazy

Are there certain situations that make you feel out of control? Identify specific factors - from the time of day to how busy (or bored) you are, to your blood sugar levels. Do you lose your temper when it's too loud - or too quiet? Knowing your personal triggers will help you stay calm throughout the day.

5. Realize that you can control your emotions.

Think back to times when you were able to successfully remain calm in a difficult situation. Perhaps it was when you wanted to yell at your spouse or children, but then the doorbell rang, and you were able to instantly change your mind. Remember that you can repeat this by knowing what irritates you and what can help you maintain peace of mind.

6. Create a calm environment with relaxing rituals

If calm music comforts you, take advantage of it. If silence calms you, take advantage of it. Maybe you'll play soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light some scented candles.

When you come home from work, take a few minutes to allow your mind to calm down before diving into family matters. Sit in your car for a couple of minutes and take a few deep breaths. Take off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another.

7. Take care of your immediate needs

Make sure that you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I become irritable when my blood sugar is low. However, all I have to do is eat something nutritious and I feel (relatively) better.

Also try do physical education. Daily workouts help relieve physical stress, which in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of jogging for half an hour, I do kickboxing. It helps.

Avoid excessive sugar consumption And caffeine, And don't dehydrate your body. Drink a big glass of water and see if you feel better, calmer and more alert.

8. Pay attention to the soul and spirit

Depending on your religious preferences, do meditation or pray. Practice yoga - or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help you control your busy mind.

9. Take a break

Instead of thinking about the same thing, do something interesting, exciting or creative. Try to laugh(or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm.

10. Take a day off

If I fight like crazy not to take a day off, I know for sure that I need it. If I can overcome myself and spend a whole day away from work, I always come back calmer, more confident and filled with fresh ideas.

11. Don't forget to breathe

When my children were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe from their belly. It still works - for them and for me. Breathing from your diaphragm helps relieve tension immediately and gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. Often this time is enough to assess the situation and regain a sense of control.

During proper belly breathing, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, place your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand rises as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly.

12. Reflect on quotes that can help calm your mind.

“You are heaven. Everything else is just weather." Pema Chodron

“A calm, focused mind, not aimed at harming others, is more powerful than any physical force in the universe.” Wayne Dyer.

“It’s no use rushing life. If I live on the run, then I live wrong. My habit of rushing will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn to give time to everything. If I sacrifice my life for the sake of haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. This means taking time to think. Without haste, you can get everywhere.” Carlos Petrini is the founder of the “slow food” movement.

“The single most important reason to remain calm is that calm parents hear more. Restrained, receptive parents are the ones whose children keep talking." Mary Pipher.

“Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be at peace with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda.

Anxiety, stress, and imbalance have become frequent companions of modern man. Such conditions are caused by a huge flow of negative information, the sources of which are primarily television and the Internet. In addition, household and work troubles disrupt the state of balance. All these factors negatively affect the psyche. and balanced, how to cope with stressful situations? We will tell you about effective ways to help you learn to control your emotions.

Signs of disturbance

How does this condition manifest itself? Here are the main signs:

• frequent mood changes for no reason;
• unreasonable irritability;
• manifestation of aggression;
• decreased attention, perseverance;
• headache;
• weakness;
• insomnia.

Have you discovered any symptom or several at once? Calm, just calm: our advice will help you cope with them.

Why control emotions?

Let's think about how often each of us utters such phrases: “I acted so rashly,” “I couldn’t contain my emotions,” and the like? In fact, people tend to justify their own actions by their inability to control their behavior. But such incontinence leads to the destruction of a person’s social contacts, in particular, it negatively affects family relationships, impedes professional fulfillment and career growth, as well as personal development. Therefore, one of the secrets of a successful person can be called calmness - only calmness will help you find the right solution in critical situations and confidently take the necessary measures.

How to develop such a quality in yourself? Where to begin? Below we will tell you

Psychology considers the concept of balance as the ability to respond to external stimuli. Thus, by learning to correctly perceive factors of different types and strengths, it is possible to achieve the ability to control one’s own emotions. How can you stop taking the troubles that arise in life too close to your heart? Below we offer several effective ways to solve this problem.

Complete rest

How does a modern person rest after a heavy day? Most often, he devotes no more than 5-6 hours to sleep, while at least 8 hours are necessary for health. In addition, the noise of the city bustle and highways does not allow you to fully restore your strength, and pressing problems do not allow you to relax and fall into a deep, sound sleep. In recent years, there has been a significant increase in various disorders of the nervous system - people more often began to suffer from insomnia, insomia, and postsomic disorders (a feeling of weakness and fatigue after rest). Of course, the lack of proper rest contributes to the development of irritability and excessive emotionality. How to become calm and balanced if you have trouble sleeping? Here are some effective recommendations:

• You shouldn’t watch TV or surf the Internet right before bed; it’s better to read a book;
• drink tea with mint and honey - this is a tasty and healthy drink, which also helps to cope with irritation and nervousness;
• take a hot bath with the herbs of sage, lemon balm, oregano, chamomile - such a pleasant procedure will not only relieve fatigue, but also calm the nervous system and set the body up for the upcoming rest;
• It is recommended to avoid drinking strong tea and coffee;
• Don’t forget about a daily walk in the park - fresh air will refresh you, and the picturesque landscape will calm you down.

Is it worth holding back your emotions?

A leisurely walk along a picturesque alley or relaxing in a comfortable chair with a cup of aromatic herbal tea is certainly a useful pastime for calming the nervous system. But is it worth suppressing emotions when the situation encourages their active manifestation? According to psychologists, such containment of negativity within oneself only aggravates a person’s mental state. Experts recommend dealing with accumulated emotions with the help of hobbies. Each person chooses an activity based on his interests, but psychologists consider art therapy, sports (including extreme sports), and various dance styles to be the most effective hobbies.

Self-control diary

Experts recommend a method such as psychological control to patients who complain of incontinence and imbalance. Its essence lies in observing the reactions that occur in a person to any external stimuli. To do this, psychologists suggest keeping a diary, in which it is recommended to note various conflict situations and the reaction of the person being studied to them. After which the recordings, together with a specialist, must be analyzed, determined and, if possible, eliminated the root cause of incontinence.

In addition to keeping a diary, there are other ways of self-control. For example, such as meditation, breathing exercises and others. In addition, the inability to control emotions can be hidden under the guise of humor and a positive attitude towards others.

Introspection

Systematic self-analysis will also help you learn to control the manifestation of negative emotions. Experts recommend devoting a few minutes every day to thinking and understanding the actions and reactions of others to them. It is important that nothing around disturbs you - self-analysis should be carried out in silence and in comfortable conditions for the person. Psychologists recommend looking at yourself from the outside - only in this case can you achieve an objective assessment, after which it is possible to draw the right conclusions. It is recommended to write down the most significant judgments for a person that were formulated as a result of self-analysis - this will increase the effectiveness of self-analysis as a way to achieve balance.

In addition to what has already been said, we will share simple but effective tips on how to become calm and balanced:

1. Create comfort around you. When a person is uncomfortable in any room, irritation and aggressiveness arise. Therefore, it is so important to correctly create the interior not only at home, but also at work. You should be guided by the principle: “You don’t need what is expensive, but what you like.”
2. Minimize communication with people who have a negative attitude towards the world around them and often complain about life.
3. Determine your own priorities and set a clear goal.
4. Practice time management - time control will reduce the likelihood of critical situations occurring and streamline daily affairs.
5. Don't leave unfinished tasks.

If you don’t know how to become calm and balanced, you should seek professional help from specialists, in particular a psychologist and neurologist.

How to keep a calm person in any situations, if excessive emotionality leads to undesirable consequences? Often it is difficult for an individual to cope with anger, hatred, aggression on his own, and he does not know what to do with these feelings. It will be easier to remain calm in stressful situations if a person realizes the need to control his own emotions. In the heat of the moment, you can say and do things that a person often regrets later. In addition, if an individual in a critical situation succumbs to the anxiety that overcomes him, then his ability to think logically, make rational decisions is lost, and his ability to act correctly is sharply weakened.

At the first stage of learning to gain calm, psychologists recommend learning to remain calm in minor situations when the individual is not yet completely overcome by negative emotions, and then moving on to train and learn in more serious and significant disputes or conflicts.

People often notice that it is very difficult to maintain inner peace when every trifle in life is important and therefore circumstances easily unsettle them. But if you develop a somewhat philosophical view of things, you can learn to remain calm in any situation.

How to always stay calm? Psychologists advise working on yours. If a person believes in his own strength, then he gains the confidence that he can cope with any situation that can happen in his life. And vice versa, if he doubts himself and sets himself up for an unfavorable outcome of any undertaking, then it is difficult for him to deal with life circumstances and not get nervous.

It will be possible to remain calm in stressful situations if a person gets rid of the bad habit of dramatizing the events that happen to him and forbids himself to overthink himself.

An individual who wants to learn to remain calm needs to direct his wild imagination in a more productive direction, and not mentally scroll through unfavorable scenarios in his head, since such an attitude will only add anxiety and restlessness. If a person feels like he is succumbing to panic, then he should stop and think logically about the reason for this state.

Psychologists strongly advise monitoring your thoughts, because often a person becomes nervous and worried in situations that do not threaten him in any way. If an individual has such a tendency, then one should imagine the most favorable scenario for the development of events and think in a positive direction. This way, a person will be able to make sure that nothing threatens his life and safety, and he will be able to cope with other troubles, if they arise, on his own, since in a truly critical situation the internal reserves of the body are mobilized by themselves. This is a protective function of the body, so there is no need to be afraid of what has not yet happened, since it is the far-fetched internal anxiety that is an obstacle to calm.

There are many ways to stay calm, and one of them involves having a backup plan in case something goes wrong. Most likely, you won’t need it, but the knowledge that there is a way out gives you a feeling of calm and confidence. And if failure occurs, then you should immediately begin to act on the backup version of the strategic plan.

How to remain calm in a conflict situation, which are not uncommon in a person’s life. Every now and then an individual is faced with rudeness, injustice and irritation of people around him, and it is very difficult to remain calm in these cases. Often you want to repay in kind, but it would be better to refrain so as not to complicate the situation. By responding to negativity, an individual will only receive a new portion of anger and aggression, and his life will be even more filled with disappointment and anger. In the end, everyone will lose from this. Learning to control yourself in such situations is difficult, but it is necessary. To do this, no matter how difficult it may be, it is important to always be in a good mood.

- you should try not to dramatize life situations, and not give in to the impulse to exaggerate the negative;

- you need to use in your vocabulary as often as possible the words “I’m stronger than this”, “I can handle it”, “it’s okay”; such verbal formulations will help you look at the existing problem differently;

- before sharing a problem with anyone, you need to think and not tell it to everyone you know; you should digest it yourself in order to calm down; well-meaning friends may show more sympathy than necessary, which can be even more upsetting;

- you should mentally visualize your calmness (become a calm and calm person in your imagination);

— you need to determine for yourself those factors that make a person lose composure and control over himself. Knowing and avoiding personal irritants will help a person remain calm throughout the day;

— it is important to learn to control your emotions; to do this, you should remember the moments when a person could remain calm in a difficult situation;

- you cannot respond to attacks in a state of irritation; it is better to remain silent until calmness sets in;

- in any situation, always look for something positive;

— having heard criticism addressed to oneself, a person should find a rational grain in it; if it’s difficult, then you need to ignore what they say;

- it is necessary to develop a positive attitude towards people;

- it should be remembered that negative emotions that grip are harmful, first of all, to the person himself, therefore, if a mistake is made, it should be admitted;

- to calm yourself down, you need to listen to audiobooks that encourage a positive perception of life;

- if there is a person who can support the individual, then you should talk to him;

- viewing quotes from books can help set a person up for positive behavior;

— troubles in life should be treated as training; the more success an individual achieves in life, the more negative situations he overcomes;

- a person cannot be liked by everyone, no one can do this, so it would be better to let relationships with some people become a thing of the past. In this way, you can free yourself from a heavy burden and communicate more with those who influence a person positively;

— to create an atmosphere of calm, you can use calm music or silence, scented candles;

— a few deep breaths can help an individual relieve tension, anxiety and adjust to a calmer rhythm;

- following a daily routine and a balanced, fortified diet will allow a person to be healthy, and therefore maintain inner peace;

— by avoiding excessive consumption of caffeine and sugar, maintaining the necessary water balance, you can maintain a calm state of the body;

- daily physical activity will relieve tension, which will allow you to control your feelings;

- meditation and yoga can help you find peace of mind;

- in order not to think about the same thing, you need to get carried away by something interesting or creative;

— it is important to be able to relax and, if necessary, take a day off to fill yourself with fresh ideas;

- Breathing from the diaphragm - belly will help quickly relieve tension and allow you to calm down in a matter of minutes. During belly breathing, the belly rises and falls. You need to inhale through your nose, then hold your breath for a few seconds and exhale slowly.

So, why is it important to learn to remain calm? So that impatience and anger do not exhaust your soul and heart. In order to get more done in life, communicate better, and live a more purposeful and productive life.

Sometimes life presents situations in which every little thing irritates: the husband doesn’t thank you for dinner, the children don’t want to pack up their toys, and the boss reprimands you for not completing a task on time...

Is it possible to get rid of superficial irritability and become self-confident? Psychologists assure that it is not only possible, but also necessary: ​​it makes life much easier and helps maintain peace and balance.

Why does a person lose his calm?

Having exploded once again over some trivial matter, the woman begins to think about how to be calm and not get nervous. They use sedatives, heart-to-heart conversations with a close friend, auto-training, and even loudly counting to ten in a critical situation. But the exhausted body demands its way and again a breakdown follows with ridiculous decisions dictated not by common sense, but by impulse and momentary emotions.

Each time, the loss of calm is repeated simply because there is no exact and only correct recipe for how to remain calm in any situation. Therefore, before looking for ways out of the current situation, it is worth understanding its causes. Why do some women lose their calm over trivial matters, while others can boast of iron restraint?

Among the most common reasons for loss of calm are:

• “Triggers”, that is, things, people or events that irritate us for reasons unknown to us: for example, a neighbor with a dog or rush hour on the subway.
• Prolonged depression, combined with hopelessness and anxiety, can cause irascibility.
• Chronic fatigue and lack of vitamins can also cause a loss of calm.
• The presence of physical discomfort: when a person is hungry or cold, even a minor reason is enough to make him angry.
• Presence of diseases: for example, with diabetes or thyroid diseases, increased irritability is often observed.

By identifying the cause of your irritation, you can solve it, rather than deal with the consequences of a temper that just signals, for example, fatigue or malaise.

FACT! During pregnancy, many women experience difficulties with balance and adequate reactions to familiar situations. Don't be afraid - it's just the effect of changing hormonal levels.

Calm, just calm!

Psychologists say with confidence: despite the fact that there is no universal method on how to become calm and not be nervous, every person can learn to remain calm in certain life situations.

• Change your perspective on familiar things. Look at the world through a positive lens: love yourself and those around you. Forgive yourself and others for minor mistakes and shortcomings, do not reproach or put pressure on them. Show patience and understanding, learn to stop your irritation. Before you worry, consider the appropriateness of this behavior: what will change and who will benefit from worrying.

• Change your behavior. If a stressful situation is inevitable, then you should change your reaction to it: try to restrain your negative reaction, model the development of the situation, avoid communicating with people who are prone to drama. Look at things through the eyes of a grandmother, wise from the life experience of a kind old woman.

• Relax. In any situation, it is important to try to remain calm. To do this, psychologists advise relaxing, and everyone does it in their own way: some listen to quiet music, some use aromatic oils, some meditate. Many women find children and animals to be a calming factor, so engage in therapeutic playtime with your baby and cat.

These simple and transparent tips for everyone will help you understand how to learn to be calm and make your dreams of balance come true.

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It's never too late to change your behavior and learn to calmly perceive the world and people around you. Only after a woman begins to look at the world calmly and balancedly does she understand how much peace means in life. Your peace of mind is the key to personal and family well-being, a friendly climate at work and strong friendships.