Not only the bodies, but also the souls of adolescents undergo major changes. The first thing that comes to an adult's mind when the word "teenager" is the concept of "vulnerable", "angular" and "aggressive". Boys and girls are beginning to re-know their body and psyche. New ideas about the world around us and human relationships are not always positive. Therefore, yesterday's affable, well-mannered and friendly children turn into reserved, rude and aggressive teenagers. They have yet to learn how to control and deal with outbursts of anger.

Psychologists and educators write a lot about the "crisis of 3 years" as one of the most painful for children and their parents. A small child learns to separate himself from his mother and becomes more independent. The adolescence period, when the psyche undergoes significant changes, is placed on a par with the "crisis of 3 years" in terms of complexity.

Teenagers solve difficult life tasks - awareness of their "I" and the search for their own place in the world. Often their emotional and physical condition is "guided" by hormonal surges. They are the main reason for sudden mood swings - gratuitous tears, sudden rudeness or outbursts of anger. Because teenagers are very vulnerable, they are more likely to experience love failures or a friend's betrayal.

Failure to control emotions negatively affects relationships with peers and educators. In many cases, a teenager who is “turned on a half-turn” becomes the object of ridicule or bullying from classmates. The more aggressive ones are characterized by the desire to “merge” the aggression onto the weaker one.

If a teenager is endowed with a tendency to introspection, then uncontrollable outbursts of anger and aggression can cause him to feel guilty. Therefore, it is important to learn how to control emotions precisely in adolescence.

Why is it difficult for adolescents to control their emotions?

The unstable psyche of a teenager contributes to the appearance of violent emotional states. Even the most polite and friendly child can be gloomy, withdrawn, rude and aggressive. Frequent mood swings can be associated with, but not limited to, hormonal changes.

Sometimes the reasons for speech or physical aggression are to be found in the family of the teenager. If parents get used to sorting things out in a raised voice, then growing up over time will also begin to be rude. If it is customary in the family to talk to the child in an aggressively imperative tone, then the teenager will show disrespect to the parents.

An inferiority complex may well be hidden behind aggression, outbursts of anger, verbal altercations or physical violence against peers. As a result of it, the teenager has a desire to assert himself at the expense of others. The use of profanity or swear words is also one of the signs of aggressive behavior.

Most often, aggression towards peers occurs in boys or girls who have not seen other examples of communication between people, or in response to ridicule and bullying. Even a timid and inconspicuous teenager may well stop tolerating bullying and learn to swear and fight. The use of swear words by young men and women is considered a kind of "pass" to the adult world, the same as alcohol and cigarettes.

A confident person will not stoop to verbal aggression. Swear words do not adorn a person in business communication. For an adult, they can be the subject of shocking - as can be observed in creative individuals, or a sign of emotional incontinence. In the real adult world, a tendency towards verbal or physical aggression can seriously damage a person's reputation.

To learn how to effectively control their emotional state, a teenager needs to work not only on the reaction to stressful situations, but also on self-esteem. Parents or a psychologist can help him with this.

The task of the teenager's family is in no case to let the problem of uncontrolled aggression take its course. In some cases, he sees a negative example in front of his eyes, and may begin to show aggression not at a transitional age, but much earlier. If the emotional state worsens in adolescence, then the support of loved ones is more important than ever.

An attack of uncontrolled aggression can cause anything - the inability to find a solution to the problem, the loss of your favorite team, unreasonable parental prohibitions. The constant rudeness of a teenager negatively affects the psychological situation in the family. On the part of adults, it will mistakenly raise their voice in response, although this can be difficult to resist. Calls to calm down and "stop yelling" will also be in vain.

It is best to start a conversation with a teenager about his behavior when the attack of aggression has passed and he has calmed down. Parents should be sure to find out why they reacted this way and show them some anger management techniques. If the mother or father does not have sufficient knowledge of psychology, then the teenager should consult a competent psychologist.

The statement that a teenager will "outgrow" the habit of being rude and aggressive is not always true. In some cases, it “outgrows”, but there is a danger that such a reaction will become an acceptable response to life's failures. And an adult who does not know how to control his emotions runs the risk of losing in life success to calmer people.

Parents or other significant adults or even peers can teach your teen to control his emotional state. Their task is to explain to a teenager that it is ugly to break loose on loved ones, that it offends them and certainly does not solve the problem.

The most important technique in anger management is the ability to “catch” a flash in time and try to switch to something else from the desire to break loose. For example, you might hit a pillow, punching bag, break a pencil, yell with headphones, or run around the house. Sport, in principle, helps to relieve nervous tension and aggression. Therefore, people who are actively involved in sports are more confident in themselves.

It is important for a teenager to learn that frustrating his own grievances and failures on classmates, friends or close people does not solve the problem and does not contribute to his success in society. Therefore, he is able and must learn to control his own emotional state.

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

Aggression in adolescents

One of the important factors that undermine and destroy the mental health of a teenager is his own aggression.

Often parents are lost when faced with teenage aggression, and all their attempts to suppress aggressive behavior only further inflame the child.More recently, an obedient child becomes touchy, grumpy, irritable, sometimes anger and rudeness breaks out in his words.What if your child starts to behave aggressively?

Teenage aggression is extremely unpleasant, but at the same timenatural phenomenon... It is not for nothing that adolescence is called a transitional age: during this period, the child passes from childhood to adulthood, and this, you see, is not easy. Aggression in adolescents is a sign of internal discomfort and inability to control their emotions.

Internal discomfort is a feeling that accompanies a person in adolescence, due to the psychological characteristics of this period.

At this time, the child learns to control his emotions, and all people are subject to strong feelings (including anger).

The level of aggression increases in all adolescent children, but it can be expressed in different ways, with varying degrees of intensity. There are several forms of expression of aggression:

Physical aggression : the teenager uses physical force against other people.

Verbal aggression: a teenager expresses his negative feelings through words, threats, shouting, etc.

Irritability : the teenager is rude on the slightest reason, becomes harsh and quick-tempered.

Suspicion : a teenager has a negative attitude towards others, does not trust them, believing that "everyone is against him."

Indirect aggression : a teenager tries to express his aggression directed at someone specific, through other people (evil jokes, gossip, bullying).

Resentment : a teenager can be offended at the slightest provocation, and the offense can be directed at a specific person (a peer or an adult) or "at the whole world."

Passive-aggressive behavior (latent aggression) : the teenager does not do what is asked, or does it too slowly, forgets about requests and instructions, wastes time.

When parents try to "reason" a child (with shouts, punishments, good words), it does not help, because there is no logic in his behavior. The teenager himself does not know why he behaves this way. This hidden aggression is aimed at making people angry and angry. The degree of severity of aggression is influenced by relationships in the family, especially in the parent couple. If the parents have a conflicting relationship, and even more so pre-divorce or in a state of divorce, in a word, unstable; then such relationships increase the psychological "instability" of the adolescent. In a situation where there are conflicts in the parental couple, children grow up with a sense of insecurity. Anxiety, guilt, aggressive outbursts are symptoms of defenselessness, lack of inner support. The so-called "parenting style" has a great influence on the formation of aggression - in fact, it is a set of family rules and parental requirements to which the child must adapt.

According to the style of upbringing, families are divided into:authoritarian (in these families, children are strictly subordinate to adults, their opinions and desires are not taken into account),host (in these families, the opinion and desire of each of its members is important, the decisions that adults make, as well as parental prohibitions are clear to children),inconsistent (in these families, the prohibitions imposed by the parents do not work for long, and the promises that the parents make are not fulfilled),permissive (in these families the child grows up as without a parent's "eye", by itself). The highest level of aggression is formed in children from families with an inconsistent type of upbringing. In second place are adolescents from a family with an authoritarian type of upbringing, where a child or adolescent does not hope to be heard, understood, and therefore significant for the closest people. An aggressive child is very difficult to understand and accept with all his rudeness and roughness. However, he needs support and love no less than any other child. He himself is uncomfortable with himself. This internal tension finds a way out in the form of outbursts of aggression.

It is impossible to completely avoid adolescent aggression: adolescence is a time of not only psychological, but also physiological changes in the body. Aggression in adolescents is largely due to puberty, and hormones are inevitable.The task of parents is to reduce the manifestations of teenage aggression to a minimum so that the child does not harm himself and others.

The first rule of suppressing aggression in adolescents is not to show aggression yourself ... Rather than calm the child down, parental aggression often snowballs, exacerbating the situation. So pull yourself together. By the way, this also applies to the manifestation of aggression towards other family members: if a teenager sees that his parents are swearing, he can take an example from them: you can, and why can't I?

Trydevelop an optimal parenting style (if for some reason you haven't done this before). Equally bad andauthoritarian style (overly harsh, not taking into account the opinion and desires of the child), andconniving (when parents, roughly speaking, do not care about the child and he grows up on his own), andinconsistent (parents impose prohibitions, and then forget about them, make promises to the child, but do not fulfill them). Optimal isadoptive parenting style : despite the fact that the final decisions are made, they take into account the opinion and wishes of the child. If parents impose prohibitions, then they are understandable to the child (no “No, because I said so (a)!”).

Teenage aggression can be diverted ... Sometimes sports and creativity can help transform expressions of aggression into socially acceptable forms of behavior. In addition, self-expression through hobbies, victories and accomplishments can help a child get rid of inner discomfort and self-dissatisfaction, thus eliminating the root cause of aggression.

Finding a middle ground in how to deal with an aggressive teenager is difficult. Pressure or punishment that degrades the dignity of a child can provoke a new outbreak of aggression. And if the parents stop paying attention to this behavior of the child (thinking that everything will go away with age, by itself), then he will begin to consider it the norm. Then the habit of acting aggressively can become a trait of his character.

Also, aggressive behavior of a teenager can be a form of his self-affirmation. And the manifestation of cruelty is a way of gaining a place in the sun or self-defense.

It is difficult to befriend a teenager who is always aggressive. He constantly tests his friend's patience with his angry outbursts. In fact, everyone who comes into contact with the manifestations of his physical or verbal aggression tries to step aside and not communicate. Such a teenager is often rejected. As a result, he feels lonely, unnecessary, unloved, and in response becomes even more embittered.

Older adolescents need a rationale for pedagogical guidelines. A good result is a conversation, with the help of which you and your child can reach the cause of the aggressive state.

Some teens behave aggressively because they don't know how to get what they want in other ways. Expand his behavioral repertoire. Tell me what other acceptable ways you can achieve what you want, interact with others, communicate and solve problems. Be sure to work out options for getting out of conflict situations with your teenager.

If the child has become completely uncontrollable, shows physical aggression towards peers and even,you may need the help of a specialist ... But you need to take into account that you cannot just hand the child over to the hands of a psychologist and hope that he will solve all the problems. Often, parents exacerbate the manifestations of teenage aggression, so perhaps the psychologist will advise you to reconsider something in your behavior and relationship with the child.

Any teenager needs understanding and approval, a patient attitude towards his growing up. Be attentive to your child's needs. After all, his aggression just tells you that he lacks something, that he is experiencing internal discomfort. Try to help him cope with his negative feelings and emotions. By understanding your child and accepting him, you will change your attitude towards him. And by changing yourself, you thereby change his behavior.

Aggression among adolescents is perhaps the most unpleasant manifestation of adolescence, which is not easy to deal with, butfor loving parents nothing is impossible !

Educator-psychologist

Sources:

Sablina N.A. Behavioral manifestations of aggressiveness in adolescence and the possibilities of overcoming them: - Stavropol, 2004.

Chepeleva L.M. Aggressiveness and peculiarities of self-awareness of a teenager's personality: - Krasnodar, 2001.

Why was the aggressive behavior of adolescents activated in the 21st century - is it not the influence of the same TV, the Internet, computer games, modern films, virtual reality, addictions? Or maybe adolescent aggression is influenced, at its core, by a modern, often inharmonious family, parenting methods and parent-child relationships, school, with emotionally and psychologically unresponsive teachers, and the street, which is sometimes provided to teenage children?

Let's take a closer look at the reasons for the aggressive behavior of adolescents, methods of correcting this behavior and preventing spontaneous, uncontrolled, and often unconscious aggression in adolescents.

Aggressive behavior of adolescents: causes, correction and prevention of adolescent aggression

Aggression itself has partially innate roots in every person, but what kind of aggressive behavior will be, in a given situation, and what internal or external stimuli (irritants and provocations) activate it - directly depends on the acquired in the external environment (family, kindergarten , school, on the street, the virtual world, films and books), attitudes, inner convictions of a person: an adult, a child or a teenager.
In a word, the aggressiveness of a teenager, and an adult too, depends on a life scenario - programmed thinking, feeling and behavior in a given situation, with a particular life event.

Aggressive behavior, as well as deviant, anti and asocial, delinquent, in adolescents does not arise on the basis of the innate instinct of aggression, which works on the principle of protecting human life and health in dangerous situations, in the form of an attack on the source of danger (the innate mechanism of the psyche "fight or flight" ).

for instance, a teenager, due to a fragile psyche and still immature personality, in the event of a real or far-fetched (imaginary) danger (the purpose of the perceived threat is not important here: life, health, social status, personality, his "I" ...) may have a deep conviction - "to run away embarrassing, humiliating, etc. ", therefore the saving reflex" fight or flight "is launched in the direction of the attack (" hit "), i.e. a teenager shows aggression towards another person, animal or inanimate object (phenomenon).

And it doesn't matter what this teenage aggression will be: emotional and mental - verbal (verbal - threats, swearing ...), non-verbal (aggressive facial expressions, postures, gestures), physical (an explicit attack with the aim of causing physical harm, say, beatings), or hidden aggression, indirect (in the form of gossip, negative conversations behind the back, etc.), as well as more primitive child and adolescent aggressiveness in the form of negativism (aggressive opposition, such as doing everything in spite, revenge, etc.).

The main causes of teenage aggression

The main reasons for teenage aggression lie not in negative television broadcasting, the Internet, and not even in computer games or violent action films, horror films ... Although, these sources of information still play an indirect role in strengthening the feelings of anger, and the activation of aggression based on it.

Aggressiveness in adolescent behavior is caused, first of all, by negatives embedded in the child's psyche from the outside, colored by dislike for oneself and other people, sometimes with hatred, with an overwhelming emotion of anger and its derivatives (from mild irritability to rage), and, accordingly, by the adolescent's aggression in behavioral reactions to, often incorrectly, illusory interpreted events.

It is that adolescent aggressive behavior that does not fit into the framework (rules and norms of behavior) of society, and is acquired, programmed in the form of internal attitudes, deep beliefs about oneself, other people and the world in general, and, accordingly, distorted, stereotypical thinking, feeling and behavior.

For example, aggression against an enemy of our homeland, or a rapist, pedophile, kidnepper (kidnapper), sadist, serial maniac, etc., even if it contradicts the law, but is morally justified by society. These are also attitudes and beliefs laid down from the outside - this is not innate aggressiveness and anger.

Such acquired aggression and anger in adolescents begins to develop from early childhood, through the so-called "parent programming" (education), parent-child relationships, methods and styles of education.
It is with disharmony in the family of relations with the child that the latter can withdraw into himself, into films, television programs of an incomprehensible sense, into computer games and the virtual world of the Internet - the latter will not create aggressiveness in a teenager, but will strengthen and develop it.

Elementary, children can copy aggressiveness from close and important adults, and it is not necessary that this aggression is directed at the child - it can be aggressive behavior in the family between mom and dad, younger and older generations, with neighbors, even aggressive criticism of films, politicians, life in general can leave an imprint on the psyche of a child and make him an aggressive adolescent and adult.

And dislike, disrespect for the child on the part of important, significant people, rejection of him as a person, lack of attention to the baby, sensory deprivation, misunderstanding of him and lack of psychological support, and even more so direct psychological or physical aggression directed at children, will naturally play their an evil role - a teenager can become aggressive, especially in relation to the weak (anyone can show aggression against a cat, but against an Amur tiger ?! Although even here, a person, as the "lord" of the world, can use weapons ...).

Psycho-correction of aggressive behavior in adolescents

Psychological correction of aggressive behavior in adolescents is quite difficult. The problem is not that it is difficult to reprogram the attitudes and beliefs of the child himself, leading to unreasonable anger and aggression. The problem is that psychotherapeutic work with the whole family is necessary here, and also, the difficulty is that it is often quite difficult to persuade a teenager to visit a psychologist or psychotherapist, especially together with parents. (setting, like "I'm not crazy").

Changing the family emotional and psychological climate and relationships between parents, parents with grandparents, etc., and, of course, the parent-child relationships themselves is the most important task of correcting aggressive behavior in a teenager.

The main thing here is not to do, not to change anything abruptly and straight ahead (right in the forehead). Only a mild, indirect influence on the change in thinking, feeling (anger) and, accordingly, behavior (aggression) of a teenager (otherwise, defense, negativism, resistance will work, possibly just with the activation of aggressiveness).

Psychological work with the family and with the adolescent himself, although not burdensome, but not quick, but the results will not be long in coming. After a course of psychotherapy, the teenager will cease to be aggressive, and the whole family will become harmonious and happy.

Prevention of aggression in adolescents

The same applies to the prevention of aggression in adolescents - first of all, it is necessary to create harmonious relationships in the family, preferably starting from the moment of pregnancy of the mother of the future teenager.

Or, at least start creating a healthy emotional and psychological climate in the family while your child is still literally a “child” (the transition into adolescence begins at about 10-11 years).

Read psychological articles for parents and educators.

You need, for a start, to realize your mistakes in upbringing and relationships mom-dad, grandmother-grandfather, mom-grandmother (grandfather), dad-grandmother (grandfather), etc. Choose the right styles of parenting and interaction with the child himself. If negativism and child aggression are already manifested, you may need to consult a child psychologist or family psychologist.

Extracurricular activities

Social science

Psychology and pedagogy

Aggression is a manifestation of disturbances in the emotional sphere, a failure in the psychological defense of a child. Which scenario to overcome this behavior should you choose? How to help a child "fight back" in conflict situations, and what are the reasons for the aggression? Let's figure it out together.

Aggressiveness can be a prominent symptom of a mental illness or disorder. But in this article we consider aggression as a violation of the emotional sphere, a projection of wrong scenarios or a reaction to an invasion of personal space - i.e. as a psychological defense. In this case, teachers and parents can take independent steps without resorting to the help of psychologists.

Where does aggression come from?

I would like to remind you that in adolescence, starting with the youngest adolescent (10-11 years), successful communication with peers is put by the adolescent "at the top of the pyramid." Any event is perceived by him in connection with his own positions of success or failure. Hence, by the way, the real dependence on likes in Instargam and the desire to recruit as many friends as possible on VKontakte. Doubts about their success make the child experience severe discomfort, lead to a decrease in self-esteem, and can manifest itself in symptoms of nervousness and anxiety.

We are not talking about just uncommunicative children or introverts, we are talking about painful maladjustment for the child himself.

Relationships that develop in a group of peers become a model of behavior for a child - an image that he projects onto himself. For a student (as well as for an adult, let's be honest) it is important to take a status or "their" place in life and in the team. The hardships of a 10-year-old child on the sidelines can affect their success in adulthood. Inadequate self-esteem and an attempt to compensate for inattention and the famous "ignore" from others and leads to aggressiveness.

Types of aggression

Before taking decisive action against an aggressive child, try to understand what kind of aggression you are facing. As a rule, adults tend to notice only the brightest (first and second) of them.

1. Physical aggression: constant fights, attempts to fight back physically, bullying
2. Indirect aggression: verbal bullying, bad jokes, gossip: “Do you know this fat cow Lyudka from 6 b? Let's tell the cool one that it was she who dropped the magazine into the bucket. "
3. Verbal negative: impolite gestures, verbal threats “I’ll strangle you, you moron, I hate!”, Screaming and screeching
4. Quiet aggression: sabotage, ignorance, negativism. The child pretends not to hear or listen to you. When you try to talk to him, he goes into the room and puts on the headphones.

"And I'll give him in the ear, dad!" Wasn't it better to talk?

If a teenager is faced with a choice: to discuss a conflict situation with the "enemy" or immediately give a physical rebuff - what will he choose? In fact, the chosen model of behavior depends on many parameters: from upbringing to the emotional state at the time of the quarrel.

However, one of the most common causes of aggression is extremely simple: I hit because I don't know any other way to react. If the child has no other examples of conflict resolution (he has not seen negotiations in the family, among friends or classmates), moreover, is in a state of anxiety, which was mentioned above, a fight is almost inevitable.

But in vain. The ability to stand up for oneself physically must be in harmony with the ability to resist verbally.

In European schools, famous colleges and universities of foggy London, about which we have heard a lot, there is no OBZH. But logic and rhetoric are included in the curriculum from elementary school. It would be fair to argue that we in Russia live in different realities, but this argument is not enough. If a child in the future wants to become a lawyer, entrepreneur, historian, businessman, politician, then in addition to knowledge about behavior during fires, he will need the ability to competently conduct a dialogue. Any modern person needs such a skill.

Is the ability to negotiate useful for a teenager?

A child who can truly resolve conflict with logic and argument rather than fists will earn peer respect. A bully who decides all issues with his fists may be afraid, they may curry favor with him, but there will be no question of respect. Again, at this age, the quality and success of communication with peers affects self-esteem. If your child is a) interesting, b) speaks competently (and not abstrusely!) C) can solve any issue, then over time they will turn to him for advice. This kind of authority will have a positive effect on both self-esteem and positioning. It is not necessary to be the most beautiful or to run the fastest, the ability to resolve a controversial situation is a skill that is much more rare, and therefore valuable.

What should parents do if a child is showing aggression?

A common case: parents cannot cope with the child's aggression, and therefore try to solve the problem by suppression. If this method does not give results, persuasions, regular scandals and the simplest blackmail are used: “Calm down, or today you won’t play the console!”, “If you argue with me again, then forget about going on vacation with a friend ! ". Such a model of struggle with a teenager does not lead to anything, since a straightforward action and attempts to "put pressure" on a child at this age are useless.

Method 1. Give a way out of aggression

Aggression is natural. If a person had not been aggressive at the time of his appearance on earth, most likely he would not have survived. But in the 21st century we do not have to fight for food and territory, so aggression must be controlled. One must be able to manage one's physical forces. If this does not happen, then not only others are harmed, but also oneself.
Take the child to the sports section, where they will explain to him that resolving the dispute with fists is not an option, but the skills of an honest fight and self-defense will be useful to him. Let it be football or athletics, you can safely try martial arts - judo, sambo, karate. They are good because they teach the child not only to master his own business, but also his emotions.

Sasha in the eighth grade was teased by a nerd and an otter, because she preferred books and a chess section to smoking at school. But when the girl won first the regional Olympiad in mathematics, and then the All-Russian Olympiad, the evil attacks of her classmates began to seem to her as something insignificant. “Yes, you are“ tough ”and“ grown-ups, ”but you’re like walking to Paris to see me,” Alexandra thought rightly.

Igor in the tenth, because of acne and stupid bangs, was not perceived by girls. But after he began to participate in school performances and performed at the city evening of poets with his poems, appearance faded into the background. The romantic Igor was much nicer than his classmates trying to be brutal. And there were enough subscribers to his author group on Vkontakte to feel their importance (parents, do not be afraid of social networks if children try to express themselves in them!)

Self-sufficient people are not aggressive, it makes no sense for them to fight for their place under the sun - they have found it.

Method 3. Enroll in public speaking courses or offer literature

Enough has been said in this article about the importance of the ability to conduct reasoned polemics. Enroll your teenager in a course or have him read some good literature on the subject. Not only Schopenhauer or Povarnin's book will help, but also a simple classics. The characters of Jack London, Mark Twain, Tolstoy and Arthur Conan Doyle speak simply amazingly. Being sharp on the tongue is a profitable advantage these days.

Also think about how it is customary to resolve conflicts in your family, if you are a teacher - in the classroom. Yes, we sit down at the table and all carefully discuss the problem with your spouse? In class, do you listen to a student whose opinion differs from the generally accepted one, or do you interrupt with the words: "Nonsense, Dostoevsky did not mean that at all"?
It is possible that you are not aware of your own emotions and reactions. We are all human, we all burn out like light bulbs. But our children notice everything. They are not so much listening to us as watching on us. If the adolescent's aggression was caused by involuntary copying of the matrix of behavior within the family, then an attempt to re-educate only the child will not bring success.

Method 5. Monitor your health

In addition to psychological causes, there are multiple biological causes of aggressive behavior. For example, a low heart rate. Observe a teenager: is there aggression for no reason? If so, the child often screams, unmotivatedly gets angry - « Everything pisses me off in general! ”And not“ Physics pisses me off, I can’t solve the problem!», then, if possible, it is worth going to the doctor to start a correction program.

Increased anxiety can be the cause of aggression. Reduce it in any way so as not to try to get rid of the effect instead of the cause. If a child gets very tired at school, worries about exams, looks or low popularity, he is bullied or is simply prone to nervousness, then it is worth working with this. The methods can be the simplest: art therapy (

As you know, the most difficult period for parents to grow up a child is adolescence. At this time, the child gradually becomes an adult, his body changes, which is accompanied by the active development of the hormonal system. Such changes cause various problems - disobedience, rebellion, various conflicts and, finally, aggression. The latter behavioral feature especially brings a lot of trouble to parents, teachers, and the teenager himself. But what are the reasons for the emergence of aggressiveness at this difficult age? And how should its correct correction be carried out?

Why does teenagers get aggression? Causes

Most experts argue that parents are solely to blame for the appearance of aggression in adolescents, and environmental factors play a secondary role. After all, it is the behavior of mom and dad that determines how the child perceives the world around him. Teenagers do not always understand that adults are often mistaken, deceived and frustrated. At this difficult age, children react to everything extremely sharply, so any incorrect remark can provoke hysteria in them.

So aggression in adolescents can be the result of excessive overprotection. After all, if parents do not give the student independence at all, in adolescence this can provoke a riot. In this case, he does not perceive adults as an authority, wanting to independently decide what is best for him, how and with whom to spend time, etc. In addition, such aggression can develop if the parents are not able to agree among themselves about rules for raising a child in a family.

Sometimes, this behavior disorder can be an attempt to draw the attention of adults / parents to their personality. So, if mom and dad are constantly busy with their own affairs, the student simply feels unnecessary and abandoned. In this case, being rude makes him feel loved.

Domestic violence is considered to be another factor provoking aggression in adolescents. In this case, the wrong behavior can be a way of protection from a person who is dangerous to him or the result of copying the behavior of a loved one who is an aggressor.

Sometimes the problem of aggression appears in relation to the second child in the family. This is facilitated by comparisons, selective praise, etc.

Also, such a violation of behavior may appear due to the constant lack of money in the family. Indeed, in adolescence, a child is especially dependent on the opinions of others, and the lack of a new mobile, beautiful things and a powerful computer leads to strong internal conflicts. The flip side of such a cause of aggression is wealth, which is accompanied by permissiveness, and can also provoke behavioral disturbances.

Very often, aggression in adolescents occurs in families where each member follows certain traditions. Such children do not like to wear standard clothes chosen by their parents, live by the rules, engage in the same activities, etc.

Also, a secondary cause of aggression is hormonal surges, which should also not be ignored.

Correction of aggression in adolescents

Parents need to realize that they will not be able to cope with the problem by force. Physical and mental abuse hits the adolescent wall and can only exacerbate the aggression. You need to try to find out exactly what things provoke aggression in your child, and then try to establish contact with the maturing student. Always try to talk to your son or daughter absolutely calmly, without breaking into raising your voice. Of course, this can be difficult, but such a strategy will set your child in the necessary mood, as a result of which he will begin to pay attention to what you are saying, and will give up or reduce the number of rudeness and harshness.

If a teenager starts to speak out, there is no need to interrupt him. Only after his flow of speech or even abuse comes to an end, you can begin to talk. Remember that your child has the right to express his outrage and irritation, to be angry and distrustful. Such emotions are normal for all of us, but in adolescence they are especially exaggerated.

Aggressive relief in adolescents is more effective when parents are looking for ways to help their child throw out negativity. This role can be played by various kinds of sports training, selected in accordance with the interests of the student. Boxing, dancing, and swimming will help a teenager get rid of various conflicting and aggressive feelings. Such loads will be especially useful if the child is hyperactive.

It is also beneficial to try to give the teenager what he lacks. So schoolchildren with leadership qualities need to be given the opportunity to show them, if not at school, then in sports, or in amateur performances, etc.

If the parents cannot cope with the teenager, and he does not want to make contact, it is advisable to seek help from a qualified specialist. It is recommended that your family see a counselor who can help all of you deal with your concerns.

Regardless of the characteristics of the child, the presence and absence of aggressiveness in him, the approach of parents to upbringing plays an extremely important role in the formation of personality. So mom and dad should be patient, show love and tenderness, and also communicate with the teenager on an equal footing.