No matter how pretty and smart a woman is, no matter how delicious borscht she cooks, one day, not very beautiful and far from happy, she can find out that her husband has another. And if she is really smart, then she should now think not about pulling out all the hair of this other, but about how to get her husband back from his mistress. Do you agree? Then go ahead!

Only the woman who will save face in this difficult life situation and will be able to get out of it with dignity will be able to save her husband. Therefore, one should slow down a bit, curb the noble and completely just indignation seething in the soul and think about how to do this.

Of course, what should not be done in this situation is to make a scandal and threaten an immediate divorce. Well, think for yourself, isn't it just such a step that will greatly facilitate the life of your rival? A humiliated and insulted spouse with a suitcase will move under her warm wing for consolation, and you will be left in splendid isolation to lick your own wounds? Silly.

It is even more stupid to tell your husband that you "know everything." If he carefully hides his affair from you, then for him it really is nothing more than an affair, and he is not going to break up with you. So is it worth digging the grave of your marriage with your own hands? After all, as soon as you put him before a fact, he simply has no other choice but to make some kind of decision. And not the fact that it will be in your favor.

To get your husband back from his mistress, think about what could push him into the arms of that woman. It is obvious that in your relationship some kind of hidden crack has appeared for you so far, which must be urgently eliminated.

Think about what he lacks at home, romance? Arrange a romantic dinner for him, for example. Passion in intimate relationships? Think about how you can diversify them and how to surprise him. Peace and comfort? Stop nagging him and ask more often about how he is doing at work and if he is tired. Search, search for the reason.

If your husband tells you that he will come late today, tell him about your desire to go to a cafe or restaurant with your girlfriends. Put on your best dress. Get a nice haircut and come back later. Let him understand that a woman like you cannot be left alone in the evenings.

Suggest that he go on vacation. Try to choose the most romantic setting. Surround him there with care, attention and tenderness, try to give him the happiness that only a truly loving wife can give.

What would you personally gain from such a situation?

No matter how much a husband loves that woman, it is one thing to meet her behind his wife’s back and quite another to live together. Yes, you yourself know this. The process of lapping and shaking is hard for even young spouses, and what can we say about those who have come to the middle of life.

Not always young women will be ready to endure the whims of a man who is used to receiving the attention and care of his wife in his family. And such hasty marriages break up quite often.

So time works for you and the main thing for you is to remain in the status of a legal wife. When your husband realizes that life with a new girlfriend is not at all as rosy as it seemed to him at first, he will definitely return to you, knowing that you love him and are waiting for him. To get your husband back from his mistress, hint to him about it.

For so many years you have carefully and lovingly built your family nest, tried in everything and always to please your loved one, to feed deliciously and softly bed, when suddenly your whole so carefully guarded world collapses in one moment due to the fact that “she” appeared on the horizon .

Not many women are able to remain cool in such a situation and just sit down and think about how to defeat their husband's mistress.

But this is exactly what needs to be done in the first place, since ill-conceived actions can destroy your entire future life.

Statistics say that cheating on a husband occurs in more than half of seemingly well-established and established marriages. Women are easier to endure those problems that arise in the family, but men usually give in to life circumstances and go to seek solace on the side.

Family and marriage greatly affect and change human psychology. Therefore, every woman should be prepared for such a fact as her husband's infidelity.

You should not grab your head in despair, but you need to understand for yourself what you want, fight to save the family, or are ready to let go of your spouse. It is extremely rare that men themselves leave the family for their mistress, usually this hobby passes after some time.

If you do not want to lose your husband because of a mistress, you should connect the mind, not the emotions. Of course, I really want to hit the insidious traitor with a rolling pin on the back and put him out on the street. But this will lead to a break, and hence to the victory of the opponent.

If you have the opportunity, without explaining any special reasons, just stay with your parents or a close friend for a few days, where you can cry without interference, and at the same time discuss the situation.

Most importantly, do not start blaming yourself, believing that your husband cheated on you because you are not beautiful enough or stupid or something else.

To get your husband back from his mistress, remember that even the most famous movie stars are cheated on by their husbands from time to time and scandals on this topic are full of headlines in many newspapers. After you calm down, you will be able to start actions, only not combative, but reasonable.

You should not tell your husband that you know about his adventures. Just try to make sure that every day at home turns into a holiday for him. Surround him with care and comfort, not showdowns. Otherwise, he will again run to his mistress in order to console himself.

Invite more friends to the house and surround yourself with more than just girlfriends. But also males. Let your husband see the signs of attention that you are given in order to awaken jealousy in him. His romance will end very soon.

No matter how much the spouses in the family love each other, unfortunately, men sometimes show weakness and are not always sufficiently resistant to temptations. At the same time, women are ready to turn a blind eye to many things in order to save the family, and therefore it is very useful to know how to return a husband to the family from his mistress.

Often the news that a man is about to leave takes a woman by surprise. It is extremely rare for men to decide to go "nowhere", usually there is always another woman behind this. Moreover, the seriousness of these relationships almost does not depend on the duration of their romance.

What to do in this case? Start a new life or try to get her husband back from his mistress? Of course, you can simply erase it from your memory and life, but this is not always possible, especially if you have mutual obligations. In addition, those emotions and feelings that led the man at the time of his departure gradually fade away, the novelty disappears, and he is surprised to find that another woman also has certain shortcomings, perhaps even more than his wife.

Quite often it happens that it is enough for him to simply remind him that you are still his wife and that you are waiting for him at home.

Nevertheless, from what happened, certain conclusions should be drawn if you want not only to return your husband from his mistress, but also to keep him. After all, it also happens that a man, like, would like to return, but he can’t decide completely. Think about the fact that your behavior was also far from ideal.

It is possible that you stopped paying enough attention to your husband, and he stopped feeling like a desirable man, but simply turned into a breadwinner. It is also possible that you did not pay attention to the moment when your husband first began to look at other women, he had a mistress, or, on the contrary, you staged jealousy scenes too often.

Think also about your sexual relationships - did they suit your husband completely and how much attention did you pay him in this regard.

In any case, you should think about what exactly you did wrong and try to somehow correct your behavior. How ready are you to change, and do you want to change at all? Some women who allegedly want to return their husband from their mistress, on a subconscious level, on the contrary, do their best to push him away and do not want to continue the relationship.

Maybe it surprises you, but if a woman needs stability, then a man, on the contrary, needs variety. That is why he is simply tired of seeing one and a woman next to him, every act and every word of which he could predict in advance. Try to change. This will be useful not only for your husband, but also for yourself, perhaps it will give a second wind to you and your relationship.

If a woman finds out that a certain rival has crossed her path, then she immediately asks the question: how to get rid of your husband's mistress forever? Like on your own take her husband awaymistresses! Before starting to fight for a husband who has changed or is leaving the family, a fundamental women's decision should be made: Do you need such a husband?! At the same time, when wives call me, as a family psychologist, on the phone when they discover their husbands are cheating or find out that the husband is filing for divorce, they often ask: “Thinking about the advisability of preserving the family, should one somehow take into account the duration of this marriage, family history of the spouses? Moreover, the logic of asking wives can be completely opposite. Some are convinced that young married couples with an experience of up to three years are better to “break up in time” so that people “do not suffer” in the future. On the other hand, those who have lived together for more than five or ten years should be qualified as a mature couple, and they must be left together in marriage at any cost. Others, on the contrary, argue that young couples under five years of family experience are still simply inexperienced, they still “be patient - fall in love”, they need help in stabilizing the marriage. But those married couples who have already been married for more than five or ten years and, you see, “have not learned to live wisely”, should be almost forcibly destroyed, because “they still won’t grow together, since it didn’t grow together before ... And in general, there’s nothing for them to torture their children either! Rather than swear, let them scatter in different directions!”

By the way, about children. This is the second most common phone question: “My husband cheated on me, but we have a small child. How can I be in this situation?!” Once again, women contradict themselves. Some argue to the point of hoarseness in the throat that if there are children in a family in crisis, then the husband and wife should be reconciled at all costs, “because this will affect children very badly, and in order for this not to happen, spouses are obliged to live together until retirement just for the sake of their children." Their opponents fundamentally stand on the fact that: "If the parents are not able to find a common language with each other, then there is no point in tormenting the children with their eternal showdowns and showing them a bad example ... To divorce them, period!".

I don't know which of these statements are close to your heart. Just as I don’t know how much you are materially, financially and housing and career dependent on your husband. As a matter of fact, for me, as a family psychologist, all this is secondary. Speaking about making a decision on the advisability of returning a cheating and / or departed husband to the bosom of the family, the primary thing for me is not at all family experience and not the number of children in a given couple, but the degree of danger of this man to the life and health of his wife and children. And there is also the question of how successful he was as a husband and father, is it possible in the foreseeable future to count on improving his behavior, if he himself strongly, strongly wishes this.

Reflecting on this when analyzing crisis couples, I came to the following author's system a long time ago. From my point of view, it is absolutely necessary to save the family in case of betrayal and / or departure of the husband in the presence of a complex of ten conditions, which in my practice I call “seven / three”:

Seven conditions for a wife to make a decision to preserve the family:

- The wife still feels love for her husband, respect for his personal and family qualities, intimate attraction.

- There are common children in the family, or the woman is already pregnant, or the husband and wife are actively involved in solving medical problems related to the inability of the husband or wife to conceive a child.

- The husband is not an alcoholic, a drug addict, a gamer, a criminal or a person with obvious mental disorders.

- The husband is not a sadist and a "kitchen boxer", does not beat or insult his wife and children, does not drive them out of the house onto the street.

- A man regularly performs his functions as a husband: he works, earns money, brings money to the family, deals with the issue of expanding living space, solving domestic and economic problems of the family, at least once a week shows interest in family intimate life, lives and sleeps at home, travels on vacation only with the family, looks decent.

- The husband clearly loves his child / children, periodically plays and communicates with him.

- Up to this point, the husband has never come across situations of obvious betrayal, and therefore he has never taken a terrible oath "not to cheat."

To these seven points, which a wife can slowly evaluate and weigh after the discovery of infidelity, but even before the moment of a serious conversation with her husband, it is correct to add three more final ones that arise either at the moment of a direct conversation with her husband, or when he tries to leave family, or when trying to return him to the family.

Three conditions for making the final decision to preserve the familyduring a conversation with an unfaithful husband

- 💡 After presenting irrefutable facts to him (or a little later, when he comprehends everything), it is desirable that the husband nevertheless admits the fact of infidelity.

- 💡 Having admitted the fact of his betrayal, the husband must clearly repent, ask his wife for forgiveness, take specific actions aimed at the complete cessation of the "left" love affair.

- 💡 The husband undertakes to make significant efforts to further improve the situation in the family and eliminate such excesses in the future.

This is how the notorious “seven/three” criteria look like, which I had to develop in the practice of my work.

Preservation of the family during the betrayal and departure of the husband and the husband or wife filing for divorce: does one contradict the other? Think about what you read... Is there a contradiction here or not? If it seems to you that there is - do not rush, think more thoroughly. Consider an example: Turning to a surgeon in case of injury or appendicitis is nothing more than a voluntary doom of oneself to pain and suffering for the sake of further recovery. Or the famous Suvorov statement: "It's hard in learning - it's easy in battle!". Here is a soldier in peacetime: while there is no war, it would seem that one can rest without exposing oneself to special hardships. Only smart commanders and reasonable soldiers know: it is better to voluntarily go through all sorts of difficulties and hardships, then in the future the chances of winning and surviving in the war will be much higher. And the war itself may not happen if the enemy is well aware that on the other hand, not just cannon fodder, but superbly trained fighters are put up against him.

I hope now you have caught my message: -Filing a wife for divorce does not at all contradict her task of preserving the family when her husband cheats or leaves! I will say more: for me, as a family psychology professional who has saved more than twenty thousand families, in this case it does not matter at all who exactly files for divorce - the husband or wife. In any case, this is not a sentence for the family at all.

You may ask: "Why?" I'll answer the question with a question: Do you think it is of fundamental importance for a married woman whose husband has left her in what status they can keep their couple, their family, their union of a woman, a man and their children: in official or unofficial?". I am sure that the answer will be as follows: “Of course, it is still desirable to preserve the official status of the family. But as a last resort, God is with him, with this stamp in his passport, if only all family members stay together and forget what happened to them like a bad dream! I fully agree with this answer. It is this position that underlies the work of most humanistically minded practical family psychologists. This is due to the fact that in most cases:

Filing for divorce is not so much a sign

intention to end the family relationship,

how much a signal of the fatigue of one of the spouses,

a call to improve the situation in this couple.

Filing for divorce in this case for many husbands is a cry for help, for someone an expression of firm intention to end an uncomfortable existence. For many wives in general - the primary information that the husband is dissatisfied with something and this is not a joke! Meanwhile, once some express dissatisfaction, and the second hears about it for the first time - isn't this an excellent platform to start a further negotiation process? Of course it is. Therefore, I advise you directly: Treat the filing of an application for divorce by your husband or yourself (to the registry office or the world court) not as an unequivocal sign of the end of your family life, but, first of all, as setting before you some clear and understandable deadlines (several months) for carrying out all the necessary negotiations and experiments to restore your family.

There is an obvious analogy with the application you once made to the registry office about the desire to start a family. Again, you have been friends for months and years, theoretically you could have been friends for more and more, but now you have taken a decisive step and clearly stated: the wedding will not take place there sometime in the bright future, but in a month or two, specifically on such and such a date ! At the same time, you have the full legal right to change your mind, withdraw your decision, withdraw your application and upset the wedding. The same is true when filing for divorce. Up to this point, you and your husband could quarrel dozens and hundreds of times over trifles and major issues, jokingly or seriously threaten a divorce, and this could drag on endlessly. But one of you filed an application for divorce with the registry office or the world court and, as they say, the time has come! And all this does not contradict the fact that within the period allotted by law (actually - from two to six months) you can make peace, withdraw the application and become a strong family again.

Filing for divorce is not a death sentence for a family.

This is just a sign that you can not live as before.

Moreover, the phrase "to live as before" is also far from always threatening and unpleasant. In about half of the cases, giving up life still turns out to be nothing more than the beginning of a more positive life for the husband, wife and children, improving and strengthening their family relationships.

Therefore, if the husband just left home, it can drag on for a very long time and months or even years, and the wife and children are doomed to live in limbo. Moreover, partners may even practically not communicate, thereby depriving themselves of the negotiation process and the opportunity to change and improve something. If the husband left home and filed for divorce, this automatically puts the husband and wife to that kind of legal barrier where they can and should communicate, show mutual claims, assess their seriousness and thoroughness, evaluate their own and others' readiness to eliminate the identified contradictions.

Accordingly, if the husband left the family without clarifying his position, if he himself is clearly wrong about his wife (for example, in the event of his infidelity), the initiative to file an application for a legal termination of marriage, coming from a wife tired of waiting, can seriously sober up the husband: show him that the right to determine the rules of the game and activity in it belong not only to him alone: ​​in this paragraph, all parties are equal! Often this immediately and radically changes the whole alignment in the family situation, forcing the husband to “not sit in the trenches” with his mistress, parents, friends or in rented housing, but to negotiate and compromise. Thus,

The threat of divorce, the divorce process itself, and even the

judicial decision can be an effective tool

to lead a successful struggle for the preservation of the family.

Only with one very important “but”: if a man and a woman remain Humans, they are able to restrain the extremes of selfishness inherent in almost every animal and are able to endure the pain inflicted by another partner (often without intent, but because of negligence, resentment or impulsive nature). However, we will talk about this, and how exactly to use this tool, in the book.

If the husband and wife, for some objective or subjective reasons, could not reconcile in time, if the divorce, by the decision of the judge, turned into a legally significant document, then for me this, again, does not at all mean either putting an end to the history of this couple, or even that this man and this woman cannot be together. In my work practice, there are already several hundred married couples who, having filed for divorce, did not have time to come to an understanding of whether they need to cherish their existing family, or to carry out a set of all reconciliation procedures, but in the end they still got divorced . However, both thanks to my efforts and their own decisions, in the future they still got back together and restored their relationship in full. Including I have up to a hundred examples of couples who, having legally divorced, months or years later officially remarried each other in the registry office. Of course, already without a veil and mass festivities, however, this newly concluded marriage was no less legal than the previous one. And the best part is that in most cases the children of these men and women did not even know and, I hope, will never know that their mom and dad were once divorced and decided to marry each other again.

An even greater number of my clients, having made a divorce, later got together and continued to sail together on the River of Life, without repeating the legal registration of their marriage. In every second of them, after the divorce, joint children were still born. Who also may never know that their mom and dad were and are divorced. For everyone in this case, it is the fact of the final unity of the whole family that is fundamental! True, your humble servant always still insists on the legal registration of marriage in the event of the birth of the baby that was formally conceived between the first and second marriages of the same husband and wife.

For those readers who are somewhat puzzled by the author’s optimism that the filing of an application by one of the spouses to the registry office and the very fact of a completed divorce is not at all a reason for panic, I propose to formulate this question in a different way:

How to get rid of a mistress? What is the duration of the wife's struggle to preserve the family in the event of her husband's departure and a completed divorce? I will answer this way: It can last from several months to several years. Let me give you a relevant analogy: Do you think it is necessary to stop the oxygen supply, cardiac massage, electrical stimulation and, in general, the entire complex of resuscitation procedures immediately after the patient's heart has stopped? I am sure that you will say that resuscitation should continue for at least another ten minutes, until the limit of viability of brain cells is crossed. It will be humane and reasonable at the same time! So in the case of a family divorce: with the formal cessation of the existence of this particular family, we are not at all talking about the dying of feelings between this man and woman, especially between them and their children. Since from the spark of feelings of a man and a woman, a seemingly completely extinguished fire of passion flared up more than once even before marriage (almost all couples go through serious breaks before marriage), then put an equal sign between the processes of leaving the husband (or wife), divorce and final marriage. the rupture and termination of their relationship definitely does not follow. But it is absolutely necessary to continue to fight for the family if the husband meets all the requirements that were mentioned at the beginning of the chapter. And if this takes a period of several months or even years, then the author personally strongly advises you to fight hard for the family all this time! In the end, during this period you will completely rebuild your personal and family behavior in the right direction and make the departed husband think three times about whether he should give such a renewed spouse to someone else. And even if your family still does not recover, then you, in your renewed form (externally and internally), will be able to create new family relationships with someone else much easier. And thanks to your modernization, you can count on both the best version of a man and the fact that you will be more valued. All this is worth a lot!

How to get rid of a mistress? -Is it time to stop fighting for the family if the husband has left, and the divorce has already been legally formalized? Most often, people answer this question like this: “Then, when your husband has a child from another woman.” This seems quite logical. However, this is so only at first glance. Upon closer and repeated examination, it turns out that in the practice of family psychologists there are many situations where, not only at the time of the divorce, but only when the wife discovers her husband's infidelity, he may already have one or two illegitimate children! Often already adults ... And what now, to give up and passively watch how the husband leaves one of his children for another? Of course no. Therefore, I believe that the possibility of restoring family relations interrupted by the departure of the husband or divorce should be allowed only when the ex-husband legally formalized a new marriage with another woman. (The most interesting thing is that this may not always be exactly the mistress for whom the spouse left the family.)

I personally know at least three dozen real stories from practice, when even new marriages and ex-husband and ex-wife were not an obstacle to the restoration of their past family union. Former spouses divorced their new partners and returned to each other. All this is very, very touching, romantic and cute. I will not impose my views on you, but, as a family psychologist, I consider it not very correct to destroy other people's legally registered families. Let them arise on the ruins of someone else's Happiness ... So now you know my recipe: it is advisable to allow the possibility of restoring the family after the departure of a husband or divorce and make appropriate efforts until the ex-husband or wife has new legally registered marriages. However, as you understand, from the moment the husband leaves the family and until the registration of another marriage, it can take so much time that the wife, who has a firm goal set to restore the lost family, has a lot of opportunities to win. If only she was moving in the right direction.

In conclusion, I can not help answering another of the frequently asked questions: How many times can you forgive adultery?Some of my respected colleagues proceed from the principle that really proven adultery can and should be forgiven only once. Otherwise, they say, the husband will completely relax and become impudent, and then everything will only get worse. My other equally respected colleagues believe that it is possible to forgive both the second and the third fact of adultery, if the husband clearly loves his wife and children, earns and brings home (which is not the same thing) a lot of money, does not drink and does not beat . In general, it fully complies with the first seven of the qualification requirements for my husband that I have announced.

Frankly, at the beginning of my work as a psychologist, I was also guided by the latter approach. Then I made an amendment to it, according to which the husband could only be forgiven for one long and serious “left” love relationship and several so-called short or one-time “casual relationships”. That is, episodes of the so-called “spontaneous sex with strangers”: being heavily drunk with a colleague at a corporate party or on a business trip, in a sauna for the company of “putting down” friends, unable to resist the spell of a pretty young trainee, meeting a friend of his romantic youth, etc. . To forgive two or three one-time random acts and not to forgive a man for two long-term extraneous intimate relationships seemed outwardly logical: after all, if the husband stopped one long-term relationship, told his wife that he would draw the necessary conclusions and correct himself, and then created a new long-term affair, it means that he is still dissatisfied with his wife and sooner or later will leave her: so what should she expect? Maybe it's time to part with such a husband herself? So far, 25 years, or 30 years, or 35 ... That is, there is still a chance to give birth to a child to another man, thereby creating a lasting new family union ... Thus, we are acting in the interests of not just a wife, but a woman who has seriously suffered morally from the actions of her husband ...

But it soon became clear to me that in this scheme, not everything is fine. The picture was greatly spoiled by real life, when during consultations I had to deal hundreds of times with men exhausted from moral suffering, who themselves found the strength to end such long-term love relationships, which the wife in the end did not even know about (even if there was a child ). Simultaneously with them, with guilty faces, exemplary family men came into my office, who slept with someone “leftist” only once in their lives and by accident, but my wife immediately found out about it, and besides this, it turned out that the girl became pregnant ...

In addition, the wives themselves spoiled everything terribly. After all, one should not forget that many of the modern ladies themselves have long-term or one-time lovers, sit on dating sites, and often even conceive children not at all from their legal husbands ...

Then I again and again sat down at paper and pen, wrote and drew more and more schemes for assessing situations, graphs and tables, algorithms for making the right female decision: “... if“ yes ”- one thing, if“ no ”- another. I confess right away: I did not manage to create a single and fully verified scheme that takes into account quantity and quality. Maybe just not yet, but the fact remains that at the time of writing this book, I do not have such a system. However, that does not prevent me from continuing to effectively help couples who find themselves in critical and divorce situations on a daily basis.

What is the secret? He is simple. In my work, I came to the conclusion that in the presence of all those criteria "seven / three" that were mentioned above, it is quite possible for a husband to forgive both "one long" and "two short" (just like in Morse code) and more a lot of things. But only on condition that the husband ... shows a human attitude towards his wife and children. The concept of "human relationship" is difficult to decipher from A to Z. It is revealed in completely different ways in different age, social, property groups of husbands and wives. That is why I will not reveal it now. Let everyone understand it in their own way. It feels in its own way. He worries in his own way. In conclusion, I will only say that it was originally planned to title this chapter as follows: “Do not rush to be cruel to yourself!”. Because everything that was said in it is just about that. About the fact that smart wives are in no hurry to chop off the shoulder when there is still hope to fix everything and survive. It's like in modern dentistry: if you immediately pull out all the teeth on which even small signs of caries have appeared, then most of us will not have our teeth at all. And so, although sealed, even with inlays and veneers, they are still in our mouth and continue to serve us faithfully. So it is with unfaithful husbands: if, despite their mistakes and betrayals, they express a desire to continue to serve their wife and children - let them serve!

But so that dear readers do not get the wrong impression that I am an incredibly soft and kind person (those who came to me for personal consultations know for sure that this is not so), I will speak about the situation that, during betrayals and departures I consider the husband from the family to be categorically unacceptable. As a practitioner, I know that many husbands (especially young ones) have lovers during the period of pregnancy of their wife, then keeping them for many years. What is connected with the high level of male sexual activity between the ages of 20 and 35, and gaps in the issue of sexual activity of wives themselves. Therefore, this unpleasant circumstance, with all its acute pain for wives, can still be forgiven. Moreover, there is a big difference between the concepts of “changed” and “quit”. Therefore, betrayal, for all the catastrophic nature of what is happening, can sometimes be forgiven. But you can’t forgive the husband’s attempt to leave his family when his child is less than three years old! When his wife especially needs help in solving both current domestic problems with the baby, and overcoming various childhood and female diseases that are almost mandatory during this period of time. My personal position is this:

A husband who leaves his wife with a small child

cannot be called a man.

That's why you can't be a good husband. In this case, the author does not dissuade wives who refuse to return home to their runaway husbands or who support their passionate desire to get a divorce. People have to pay for everything. Husbands who do not behave like men must pay twice and thrice.

However, for the time being, let's proceed from the fact that it makes sense to return a husband who has changed or hastily left. Here it is important to understand that a third of the departures of all husbands from families is associated with those most serious mistakes in the behavior of the wives themselves, which the applicants just took advantage of.

In the appearance of a husband's mistress and his departure from the family

often not only the man and the mistress are guilty,

but also his wife, who made serious miscalculations.

If you are interested, I will inform you that I personally count fifteen typical mistakes in the behavior of wives:

Fifteen wrong actions of wives,provoking husbands to cheat and leave the family:

1. 💡 How to get rid of a mistress - until this factor is eliminated, it is almost impossible - The husband directly accused his wife of cheating, or her behavior gave him too many reasons for jealousy (including communication on the Internet and regular SMS correspondence).
2. 💡 How to get rid of a mistress - until this factor is eliminated, it is almost impossible - The wife either could not satisfy her husband in the intimate sphere, or lost interest in this sphere, evading the caresses of her husband.

1. - The wife frankly launched her appearance, stopped liking her husband as a woman.
2. The wife does not accept her husband's child from a previous marriage (or relationship), which irritates him.
3. 💡 How to get rid of a mistress - until this factor is eliminated, it is almost impossible- The wife cannot regulate the behavior of her own child from a previous marriage (or relationship), which is why a frankly hostile relationship is established between him and her husband.
4. 💡 How to get rid of a mistress - until this factor is eliminated, it's almost impossible - A wife directly or indirectly refuses her husband to have a child. And it does not matter: the first, second or third. The main thing is that a man consciously wants to start him, but his wife for some reason (fear of spoiling the figure, losing a quiet life, little money in the family, wife's age, etc.) - no.
5. :- The wife turned out to be a bad housewife, the soup is cooked for the whole week, the window sills are dusty, the curtains are not washed for years, the husband goes to work without sandwiches and with torn buttons. (Thereby giving a signal to the surrounding women that he can be taken away. The logic here is simple: After all, if he cannot train his wife and does not leave her, then he is a weakling. Since he is a weakling, then, having found the right approaches to him, he can to assign.)
6. :idea: How to get rid of a mistress - until this factor is eliminated, it is almost impossible- The wife does not have common goals in life with her husband, is not interested in his work, is completely busy with her own affairs. For example, career, business, improving appearance, girlfriends, etc. Thus, creating a vacuum in communication, making any girl attractive to her husband, with whom there is something to talk about.
7. 💡 How to get rid of a mistress - until this factor is eliminated, it's almost impossible - The wife does not have common interests in life with her husband: she does not need any hobbies, hobbies, active leisure (etc.). Hence, the wife does not accept the company of her husband's friends, is their enemy. If the husband turns out to be an active person and not a homebody, and his wife is not around, then it is not surprising that the girls who share his passion for some kind of activity immediately become very close to him.
8. 💡 How to get rid of a mistress - until this factor is eliminated, it is almost impossible- When a family lives with the wife's parents (or with the husband's parents, but on the initiative of the wife), the spouse stubbornly does not notice that this is extremely uncomfortable for the husband, does not take any action to change this situation. For example, buying an apartment with a mortgage, renting it, etc.
9. 💡 How to get rid of a mistress - until this factor is eliminated, it's almost impossible - The wife is at war with her husband's parents, does not communicate with them, opposes communication with them and her husband and grandchildren.
10. 💡 How to get rid of a mistress - until this factor is eliminated, it's almost impossible - The wife has become, if not a “crazy mom”, then at least she is very close to this state. Moreover, it’s not at all bad that all her thoughts are connected only with the child (this is just the norm), but the fact that these right thoughts take on the character of wrong actions in relation to her husband. The main trouble is that the wife practically does not pay attention to her husband.
11. 💡 How to get rid of a mistress - until this factor is eliminated, it's almost impossible - The wife is too dependent on the opinion of her parents, who intrusively climb into her family. Or he strongly opposes his husband's parents, on whom, in turn, he himself is psychologically and / or financially dependent.
12. 💡 How to get rid of a lover? - until this factor is eliminated, it's almost impossible - The wife herself is problematic in her psyche: hysterical, alcoholic, drug addict, schizophrenic, depressive, suicidal, completely loneliness or, on the contrary, unrestrained fun and alcohol.
13. :idea: How to get rid of a mistress -until this factor is eliminated, it is almost impossible- The wife is a cold and prudent bitch who does not have any warm feelings for her husband. It only systematically squeezes out of it all the money that can be squeezed out, mercilessly exploits it in everyday life and at work.

💡 In principle, already from this list it should be clear to you that in the second section of the article I will teach you how to eliminate most of the above. 💡 However, there is a “but”. It is relatively easy to discover your mistakes in family behavior when the husband is still at home and does not think about running away. If you are in this situation right now, you are very lucky. After all, you will be able to eliminate in advance the main prerequisites for a husband's infidelity or his flight from the family. However, when your husband already has a mistress, or if he left you with a divorce petition, you have to act in much more difficult conditions. When not only the husband’s resentment is acting against you, but also his passion for the desired passion, the prudent mind of his mistress and her entourage. In this case, it is important not only to know the mistakes you have made and how to correct them, but also what processes are taking place in the mind of your husband poisoned by the poison of hatred or love. Moreover, as my surveys of husbands cheating and leaving families show, some of the above-described mistakes of wives form bizarre combinations in the minds of men. The typical mindset of a man cheating or leaving a family goes something like this:

In the head of a husband leaving the family in the interests of his mistressA complex sum of twelve factors works:

1. 💡 Various heavy grievances and claims against his wife (plus her relatives and social circle). The main ones are the following: Cheating on the part of the wife, the presence of reasons for the husband's jealousy (the wife's vacation without her husband), leaving overnight with parents or girlfriends after quarrels, abortions without the husband's consent, refusals to marry him, forcible coercion of him to marry (including " stray "pregnancy), the scandalous character of the wife, inciting the wife's relatives on her husband, her alcoholism, disgusting qualities as a woman, mother and housewife.
2. 💡 A sense of pride in a mistress: for her appearance, education, high career or social status (own or relatives)
3. 💡 Feeling sexual attraction to your mistress.
4. 💡 A feeling of jealousy for a mistress, an acute fear of losing her.
5. 💡 The desire to get the material benefits that the mistress has: apartments, cars, business, high income, etc. Or not to lose the money already invested in it.
6. 💡 A sense of pride in a joint child with a mistress (if a child already exists) or an acute desire to have such a child.
7. 💡 The presence of domestic comfort when communicating with a mistress.
8. 💡 The presence of spiritual comfort when communicating with a mistress.
9. 💡 The presence of comfort in communicating with relatives of the mistress. The possibility of building a mistress of positive relationships with relatives of a man.
10. 💡 The presence of comfort in communicating with the mistress's social circle and / or the complete acceptance of the mistress by the man's own social circle.
11. 💡 Feeling of male moral responsibility (before my mistress, her relatives and friends, myself) for that lie to her mistress, according to which “everything has already died with my wife, our marriage is a formality, my departure from the family is a matter of the very near future ... I’m waiting, When the kids are a little older... Responsibility for the fact that the promised, albeit after years of a secret love affair, still needs to be fulfilled, and therefore leave the family ...
12. 💡 A sense of male responsibility for the material maintenance of his mistress and (possible or existing) joint children, their physical and psychological health (including to her and their parents).

But don't panic! You have exactly the same happy "dozen".

In the head of a husband who has changed or is leaving the family 💡 in the interests of the wife💡 a complex sum of twelve factors also works

1. Various grievances and claims against the mistress (plus her relatives and entourage). The main ones are the following: betrayal on her part, the presence of reasons for jealousy (vacation without a lover), abortions without the consent of a man, refusals to marry him, forcible coercion of him to marry (including a "stray" pregnancy), the scandalous nature of the girl, the problematic nature of her relatives , her alcoholism, failure as a mother and mistress.
2. A sense of pride in his wife: for her appearance, education, high career or social status (own or relatives).
3. Residual feeling of sexual desire for wife. Increases if the wife improves her appearance and character. Decreases if it continues to deteriorate.
4. A residual feeling of jealousy for his wife, an acute fear of losing her.
5. The desire to keep material goods acquired during the marriage: houses, apartments, cars, business, high income, etc.
6. A sense of pride in children, if they are and are successful.
7. The presence of domestic comfort in the family. If this is the case.
8. The presence of peace of mind when communicating with his wife. If he is.
9. The presence of comfort in communicating with the wife's relatives and her ability to communicate comfortably with her husband's relatives.
10. The presence of comfort in communicating with the social circle of the wife and / or the complete acceptance of the wife by the man's own social circle.
11. A sense of male moral responsibility (before his wife, her relatives and friends, himself) for the preservation of the family. There is in any case, but especially when the husband is more successful than the wife, or at least equal to her in social and financial status. The responsibility of husbands-losers, as a rule, is only in words.
12. A sense of male responsibility for the material maintenance of his wife and children, their physical and psychological health (including to her and their parents). This is subject to the same patterns as in the paragraph above.

At first glance, when building an optimal strategy for a wife’s behavior when her husband cheats or leaves the family, everything is as easy as shelling pears, as if in a children’s game “pick mushrooms in a basket”: The more factors, like points in a game, the wife collects, the faster the fugitive husband will return back, the stronger the family relationships will be, the less will be the likelihood of repeated recurrent departures of the husband. The more factors the mistress gathers, the faster the runaway husband who fled to her will file for divorce from his wife, the stronger his connection with the new woman will be, the less likely he will return to his ex-wife and children.

The trouble is that in practice, as in any real game, each participant in the exciting collection of points not only collects his own points, but also strives to select others. The wife is with the mistress, the mistress is with the wife. The husband's mother, along the way, seeks to prove to her son that you can only trust her alone, since all the surrounding women only want to use him for their own selfish purposes. Etc. and so on. In addition, in the heat of ongoing events and in view of the “rose-colored glasses” put on his eyes by Love, the husband is not always objective: he may not see the obvious advantages of his wife, but by mistake he can take for the pluses those minuses that his mistress has. At the same time, the position of the wife is also greatly worsened by three circumstances:

- Firstly, for some time, the wife gradually lost her factor points, and her mistress gained them. Moreover, this process itself was secret and little meaningful for the wife, and obvious and purposeful for the smart mistress. Hence, a mistress, especially a long-term one, often has a certain temporary head start.

- Secondly, thanks to the frankness of her man, the mistress perfectly knows the pros and cons of his wife, and the wife is usually in the dark about the strengths and weaknesses of her competitor. Often the wife does not know much about her at all. Except for her gender, of course. If at the husband all is normal with orientation.

- Thirdly, mistresses almost always have preferences over their wives in age, appearance, attitude towards sex, etc.

However, again, this is not at all a reason for panic. This is just an excuse, given the partial opacity of the process of fighting for your family, to take absolutely all of these twelve factors as seriously as possible. Only in this way:

Time lover's advantage smart and stubborn wife

can always turn it into a temporary advantage.

The following question logically follows from this: Which of the factors in a wife fighting for her husband should be especially stressed in order to get rid of your mistress? How many of them do you need to collect in order to get rid of your mistress? It is extremely difficult to answer the first part of the question, because in the minds of men, depending on their age, life experience and needs, there are different priorities. Only five points can be unequivocally singled out: sex, children, property issues, spiritual and domestic comfort. They are the priority for most men. These are the main buttons that you need to press. Based on this answer to the first question, we can answer the second. The minimum figure necessary to defeat the mistress is to achieve the superiority of the wife, or at least her parity with the mistress, at least in these five points. For complete confidence in the victory, the wife needs to score at least seven pluses for those factors that are important for a man. And the more there are, the easier it is for the wife.

In order not to confuse you at all and allow you to compose clear plan how to get rid of a mistress- counterattacks to the actions of a mistress, I suggest you take a look at the table I compiled, where The author reduced the “happy dozen” to a more understandable dozen of basic factors.

Table of objective assessment of women's competitiveness

Now you have before your eyes a table that evaluates objective indicators in a love triangle. It is noteworthy that the advantages of a mistress can be those factors that are not yet in sight (such as children and pride), which are possible only in the future. On the other hand, a wife is harshly evaluated only for the past and the present ... In family psychology, everything is the same as in politics, where the current government is always criticized more than applicants, but in the end they always vote for her better too - as you can see, there is very little objectivity! Sheer subjectivity!

Love and hate are always subjective.

Love does not love truth, hate hates it.

If the husband does not have a mistress, then exactly according to the same scheme, he will still evaluate his wife, only he will compare her with someone else from his environment. So take it into account and try to calculate your own pluses and those holes-minuses, which will be the gate leading to the heart of your husband for applicants. For clarity, the table was filled in approximately the same way as it usually looks in practice. When the wife should not be considered completely backward and neglected, but the contender-mistress has, firstly, clearly more points, and secondly, they are located in the right places - in the most significant positions for men. Let me remind you that to win, you need to score at least seven pluses, and the pluses in lines 2-6 are especially significant. That's it and lean on them! Turn your minuses into pluses, subtract the pluses from your mistresses, bring them to a minus value. By reading beyond the second chapter of the practical section of this book, you can simultaneously understand both what you should do to increase your score factors, and what is useful for reducing similar lover score factors. After all, your and her pluses and minuses are nothing more than communicating vessels, where the level of points of one side always somehow correlates with the points of the other side.

However, as already mentioned, this table reflects precisely the objective parameters. Well, or almost objective, since the ideas of various men about the appearance of a wife, her success in life, sexual, economic and maternal qualities are very heterogeneous: what for one is the height of dignity, for another - a mere trifle. But, alas: people are always subjective! What makes it extremely difficult to build straightforward schemes for victory. Male subjectivity in a particularly vivid form is hidden in those two points out of a dozen factors that were deliberately not included by me in the table of ten leading factors in assessing a wife.

1. Various heavy grievances and claims to the wife and / or mistress (plus to their relatives and environment in general).
2. A sense of male moral and material responsibility to his wife and child / children for the preservation of the family. Noticeable, if it was a man who initiated the creation of a family and the birth of a child / children. Doubly noticeable if there are two or more children, or if the man comes from a family with strong moral or religious family foundations. But this is still superimposed on a similar feeling in relation to his mistress!

It is these two subjective factors, determined by the upbringing and previous life of a man, that are the individual lens through which a man examines and evaluates that “happy dozen wives and mistresses” that is given above. Let's say the wife is generally well done, has 7 or 8 pluses, but she brought her husband to the registry office with an unplanned pregnancy, earns so much money that she can feed herself and the child herself, and even recently had an abortion against the will of her husband. In this case, the husband can say goodbye to such a wife, who, in the opinion of everyone around, was very, very worthy.

Or, for example, a wife barely pulls on four or five, but her husband himself called her once to get married, she never gave serious reasons for offense, but earned little all her life, looking with hope only at her husband. In this case, a successful, wealthy and sexy lover may well lose to his wife if she gives her lover a reason to assume that she is cheating on him with someone.

Etc. and so on. The combinations are apparently invisible, and every woman - a wife or a mistress - has her own. Copyright and unique. It is in which we, family psychologists, just have to understand. Select the same author's and unique schemes for achieving victory. But I am sure that you yourself have already understood what I am bringing you to: In the process of a man making a decision on whom he should marry (if there is no marriage yet, but there is a struggle between two competitors), or is there any point in leaving the family and creating a new marriage with a mistress, the grievances of this man and the degree of his responsibility for his own words and deeds are superimposed on the exclusive set of characteristics of each woman. Feelings, emotions, sensations, experiences and the degree of responsibility fall on the dry mathematics of ten factors. So, in the minds of men, the “happy dozen for wives and mistresses” works. By the way, if a man is not responsible, then if he divorces and creates a family with his mistress, the probability of a new divorce will be even higher. But a very responsible man will have a lower probability of a serious extramarital affair and the fact that it will lead him to divorce.

Hence, from my point of view, the general strategy of a wife who wants to save her marriage and is extremely understandable and consists of only five postulates.

Five postulates of a wife's behavior when her husband is threatened with leaving and How to get rid of a mistress:

1. Increase the number of your pluses, reduce the number of pluses of your mistress.
2. How to get rid of a mistress Reduce the number of your minuses, increase the number of minuses of your mistress.
3. How to get rid of a mistress- Inflate the husband's resentment for the misdeeds of his mistress, extinguish the husband's resentment for his own mistakes.
4. How to get rid of a mistress- Increase the degree of responsibility for yourself and your family, reduce the degree of responsibility for your mistress.
5. How to get rid of a mistress- Show your husband external weakness, show inner strength and patience.

As you can see, nothing complicated. If you put the minuses of your mistress on your pluses and clearly prove to your husband that his mistress has seriously offended him with something, the victory will be yours. If you have mostly minuses, and your mistress has pluses, and even you will annoy your husband by starting to kick him out of the house, set children and relatives on him, then I'm sorry - you will be left alone.

This will help you avoid many mistakes in your couple or family.

If you or your couple need help, I will be happy to give advice from a family psychologist on (in Moscow) or consultations (via Skype, Viber, WhatsApp or phone). Appointment for a personal or online consultation by phone: +7926633520

Sincerely, family psychologist,D.C., Professor Andrey Zberovsky

How to get rid of a mistress with a conspiracy

If your spouse has another woman on the side, you definitely need to get rid of her. After all, she can easily destroy your family union and take her husband out of the family. Persuasion and pleas to return are not always effective and efficient. That is why it is simply impossible to do without the use of magic and special conspiracies.

How to get rid of your husband's mistress

A conspiracy for a mistress will help to alienate her husband from an annoying woman and punish her for her deeds. Their relationship will become not so passionate, and ardent, and soon it will stop altogether. Your husband will show more interest in you than before and will return to the family nest. Thus, you can take revenge on your mistress.

Preventive measures that discourage the husband’s desire to “walk” to the left

• Try to involve your beloved husband in family worries and affairs as often as possible. Ask him to take a walk with the child, go for a family walk in the park together, take him to repair in an apartment or in a summer cottage. Awaken in him a sense of responsibility for the family.
• If you have any guesses about who your husband's mistress is, tell "accidentally" about her habits, relationships with other men or illnesses. Do it in such a way that he does not guess about your assumptions.
• Spread rumors about your spouse's mistress. This method is best left for later. If the first two methods were ineffective.

1. You should not throw constant tantrums and scandals to your husband about his adventures to the left. Not every man can endure scandals in the family. Otherwise, he will look for a quieter place for himself and still go to his mistress.
2. No need to arrange surveillance of the betrothed. In the end, he finds out about her and this may not turn out well for you.

In order to return a man to the family, you need to make a lot of efforts. Don't try to force it. Try to have a heart to heart talk with him. Find out his opinion on this circumstance, find out the reason for his adventures. You need to make sure that your man loves, appreciates and respects your relationship. He should want to come home from work, and not go in search of new adventures.

How to make a loved one leave his mistress

How to deal with your husband's mistress

If your spouse's mistress has an unbalanced character, you will immediately understand this. From the first days, she will pester you with calls, try to meet with you, talk and find out with whom your husband will live. She can easily make a scandal right on the street, demand an explanation from you and make your life simply unbearable. In such cases, it is recommended to remain completely calm and not react to provocations. You must be smarter. Only by keeping your cool, you can take revenge on your fiancé's mistress, punish her for your actions and get rid of her forever.

If your rival is prettier and much younger than you, she can be very dangerous for your family. Such women very rarely stop in the middle of the road, they always complete their plan to the end. They stop at nothing and are actively fighting for happiness with a new lover.

These women don't need a man for 24 hours. They need it in order to buy expensive jewelry and clothes, to have a good time. They just “pull” money out of him and require a lot of attention. They are rarely suitable for long and strong family relationships.

If your opponent is just like that, you should be patient. Wait until the husband "works up." Soon he will definitely understand who really needs it, and who uses it as needed. Only by waging a "cold" war, you can take revenge on your husband's mistress.

How to drive a mistress away from her husband

Remember, against your wisdom and your mind, a "near-minded" lover is unlikely to be able to resist.

Lapel on incense

To permanently drive away a mistress from her husband and return him to the family, use the following text of the prayer. You need to be prepared to read it. Be sure to go to the temple for a church service, confess to God. Buy a candle and incense in the same temple. Return home, and in the evening proceed to the ritual. Free the table from unnecessary things, it should be empty. Place a church candle on the table, set fire to it. Put the incense on the table and set it on fire. Say a prayer, and then open the windows and doors in the room. This is done so that the "lapel" is weathered from your home.

“Smoke - smoke, spread under your feet! Find God's servant (husband's name)! Look for him everywhere: in the mountains, in the seas, in the sands, in the cities! As soon as you find it, do everything so that your husband stops walking, so that he asks for forgiveness for sleeping with the other! Amen!".

"Mirror" lapel

In order to forever separate lovers and get rid of a rival, the following prayer will help you. It is quite strong and works almost one hundred percent.

“Let the servant of God (her name is mistresses) forget the way to my beloved forever, forever and ever! Let him become the most disgusting thing for her, the ugliest, the most unnecessary! Let the passion of the servant of God (say her name - mistress) subside to the servant of God (say his name - husband), and break on my mirrors!

Before reading it, you need to prepare mirrors. There should be seven of them. If your home does not have the required amount, you can borrow them from your relatives or girlfriend. Just remember to keep the secret. Do not tell anyone about the ceremony. Arrange the mirrors so that they are staggered. The middle of the room must be left empty. In the middle you need to place photos of your spouse. On them he should be depicted alone. Arrange them randomly. Sit in the lotus position, relax, get all the bad thoughts out of your head and only then read the text of the prayer. Say the prayer clearly, without stammering and with confidence. After the words you uttered, you must leave the room for an hour. After an hour, enter it again and collect the photo cards with mirrors. You need to destroy one of the photographs and one mirror. Thus, you can forever quarrel lovers and take revenge on your rival. Prayer also works very well to drive the mistress away from her husband, to punish and avenge her for her actions.

How to get a husband back from a rival

It is very difficult to quarrel a man with his mistress if their love affair lasts quite a long time. Another thing is when it's a little romance on the side. In this case, the husband has not yet had time to form an attachment to a new woman. They do not have a common life, as you do. There are no joint children and few common acquaintances. They still have very little in common. That is why it will not be difficult to separate lovers. It will be very easy for you to take revenge on your mistress, because you are much wiser and more experienced than her.

Prayer for separation from a rival

This prayer is very strong and effective in the struggle for your family happiness. With her magical help, you can not only take revenge on your rival, but also help return the faithful to the family nest. To complete it, you will need your husband's clothes. It must be worn, not new. You need to wash it in a basin. You need the water obtained after washing the laundry in order to wash your feet. Then, in the same basin, it must be poured under a tree. Try not to let anyone see you at this moment. The tree must be female - aspen, birch, apple, cherry and so on. And say this prayer:

“I will get up, blessed, go out, crossing myself, out of my house, out of all the doors, from the last door to the gate and from all the gates to the blue sea, the wide expanse. There are twelve brothers standing there, all of them have twelve wives. I’ll shout out, I’ll call out their names: one is longing, the second is dryness, the third wife is a heartache, the fourth is a headache, the fifth is mental illness, the sixth is desire, the seventh is torment, the eighth is erection, the ninth is sleeplessness, the tenth is boredom, eleventh - hot blood, twelfth - ardent love. Oh, you demonic twelve wives, may the servant of God (name) be surprised by my article, wounded by my mind, subjugated by this conspiracy word, captivated for now, forever and forever. Let you, wives, sadness and longing for him, so that he yearns for me, God's servant (name), misses, shouts in a loud voice, could not live without me for a minute, a second to be, not a day to day, not a single night to pass: not at clear moon, nor red sun. In the morning it would be a little light to get up, take my name on mind-mind, bored, yearned, shouted in a bad voice. Let the other girl seem to him a terrible tigress, like fiery ones, like an owl with a big head, and I would be him on a hot afternoon - water, in severe hunger - food. Be, all my words, strong, strong, sticky. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Now and forever and forever and ever. Amen".

Soon you will notice improvements in your relationship with your husband. You can return your spouse to the family, as well as punish the homeowner. To prevent such a situation from happening to you, be sure to take preventive measures. Love and appreciate your spouse. Don't make him jealous. Make family life quiet, calm and carefree. Look after your appearance, eat right, watch your weight. Do not abuse alcohol and behave with dignity. Your spouse will definitely appreciate this and will not look for love affairs on the side.

Visitor reviews

15 comments

Hello girls! I came across a similar situation, I still can’t leave. I lived with my husband for 20 years, didn’t know grief, gave birth to 2 children, bought a house in Crimea. work or not come home at all, for various reasons, I began to hide my mobile phone, which was not observed before, but I generally keep quiet about sex and compliments, my friend had a similar situation, she advised me to contact one guy who at one time opened her eyes. I called, my name is Alexey, I discussed my problem with him, after which he put a wiretap on my husband’s phone, I controlled all incoming and outgoing calls, and also had access to all correspondence, including WhatsApp and Viber and regular SMS, after which I found out that my husband has a second family and also a child of 5 years old, there is still a stone in my soul, although we have not lived for a year, he moved to her. Better the bitter truth than to live in a constant lie.

Irina, I would also like to use the help of Alexei. Would you like to write in a personal?

we all girls need such Alexei whose husbands are cheating, at least to know the truth

Irina please help, write Alexey's phone number. I really need help!

And I would like to know more

And I also need such Alex

Hello! Tell me please, is it possible to install wiretapping in any phone?

Hello Irina! I also really need such a device, tell me please.

I knew for a long time he cheated on my husband, I couldn’t do anything, I have a little son, he’s not even two years old, help me to bring my husband home please

Through the vein, my other family was torn apart, I want to return my husband, take revenge on him, he is to blame for the death of my mother and my mistress

Girls, private detectives are engaged in such services. Search in the internet.

Girls and women. what kind of conspiracies and what kind of "Aleksei" can we talk about? look at yourself in the mirror, if you don’t like yourself, then how should your husband love you, not well-groomed and not confident in yourself? The main thing is to love yourself, develop yourself and then your husband will not only not leave, he will not take his eyes off you, so that you do not turn away from him somewhere. Good luck, peace of mind and of course sincere love.

No matter how many wolves you feed, they still look into the forest. And what about the appearance? It's not about appearance. And I would say, look at

mistresses. Men go where there is no life and problems.

yes, olesya, everything is right - you need to love yourself, but you shouldn’t return traitors to your husbands - having betrayed once, you will betray more than once, you’ll only lose time, don’t cling to the old, forgive and let go, no matter how difficult it is for you, and the sooner you let go of the old, unnecessary the faster the new will come, but good or bad depends on ourselves, and more advice - evil begets evil, there is no need to take revenge on anyone, neither the former, nor their life will punish their life, time will show that the evil that they gave birth to return to them, personal experience, my beloved husband for 17 years betrayed me 3 times, left, shed tears in buckets, waited for forgiveness, took it back, and then I realized that life passes by and it’s not worth gluing what is broken, it’s better to throw it away and buy a new, better one, I’m 42 and I just live began to overestimate your attitude towards yourself, towards men and towards life in general, love yourself, your parents, children, do not wish harm to anyone, forgive your offenders and tomorrow will definitely be better than yesterday, good luck and love to everyone

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A conspiracy for a husband: how to get rid of a mistress and return to the family

A conspiracy against a husband is useful in many cases. The rite will help to return the extinguished feelings of the spouse, to drive him away from his mistress, or to put a powerful "guardian" against betrayal. Read how to bewitch a loved one and do it right.

How to bewitch a husband?

Even the strongest feelings can pass with time. The reasons may be different - tired of life, the wife has lost her former attractiveness or "washed down", a rival has appeared who takes her husband out of the family with all her might. Any problem can be solved.

Before you bewitch your husband with a conspiracy, analyze - what caused him to cool down? First you need to solve problems, and then do a love spell. Otherwise, the return of marital love will be short-lived - over time, old unresolved problems will ruin your relationship again.

• Have you lost your attractiveness? Stop wearing a greasy bathrobe at home, try to look good for your man always
• Haven't you exhausted your husband with constant scandals and reproaches? Try to resolve conflicts peacefully. Praise and thank your spouse more often, do not allow quarrels, but talk about what exactly is unpleasant for you, calmly
• Or maybe you completely dissolved in your spouse and forgot about your own interests? Fill your life with hobbies, new events. Be a versatile person

And then “finish off” the changes with a love spell.

Conspiracy on a husband on a shirt

This conspiracy will help bind a man to you forever. He will stop paying attention to other women and will pay more attention to you.

To perform the ceremony, buy a white new shirt made of natural fabric. A man should like the thing, so try to make a choice based on his taste.

Give a shirt to your husband - he must wear it at least once. After that, you can do the ceremony.

Wait for the night when the moon goes up. Take a shirt, set fire to its collar from the flame of a wax candle and read the plot:

After the collar burns out, the fire must be put out and the shirt hidden in a secluded place. Make sure that the husband does not find the cache by accident.

At this point, the rite is considered completed.

A conspiracy from a mistress

In the old days, women who wanted to ward off their husbands from their mistresses read strong conspiracies. They helped turn the beloved man away from his rival and return him to the bosom of the family.

Such conspiracies operate on the principle of a lapel and "extinguish" the feelings of the chosen one for an outside woman.

Before the ceremony, you need to go to church and go through the rite of confession. On the same day, purchase incense and a wax candle from the church shop.

In the evening, when you come home, sit down at the table, light a candle and incense. Read the plot:

Important: before you start reading the plot, set yourself up in a positive way. Mentally thank your husband for all the good things he has done and is doing for you, remember what he can be praised for. Draw in your imagination happy pictures of a joint future, and try to forget about grievances.

A simple conspiracy: how to get rid of your husband's mistress forever

If a rival does not allow you to live in peace and climbs into your family life, you can read this conspiracy.

• Church candles. They need to be bought on Friday, in the morning at the nearest church shop.
• Incense. You can use incense sticks or burn essential oils in an aroma lamp. Choose the scents that suit you the most.
• A handful of sea or table salt. Salt is an excellent conductor of energy, so it is often used in magical rituals.

In the evening, after sunset, sit down at the table. Light a candle and incense. Tune in a positive way and read the conspiracy so that the husband does not cheat:

After you say the cherished words, wait until the candles are completely burned out. Then go outside and pour salt into the ground. The ceremony is best performed on the waning moon.

"White" conspiracy so that the husband does not walk

Any kind of love spells and lapels are a way of interfering in the consciousness and will of another person. Therefore, they a priori cannot be harmless and will certainly bring negative consequences.

Love spells and rituals usually affect the health and well-being of a man, as well as his character. If you do not want to take risks, use harmless affirmation conspiracies.

1. Food meditation. Popular Vedic practice. It is believed that the food that a woman feeds a man is filled with feminine energy. And what it will be - positive or negative, depends only on you. Therefore, every time you cook food, think only good things about your husband. Mentally say: “My husband is faithful to me. He considers me the best of women. He is successful, strong and healthy."
2. Meditation while cleaning. The same applies to the space around you. With what thoughts and emotions you put things in order, such an atmosphere will reign in your home. Try to think only about the good while cleaning, repeat positive affirmations

How to consolidate the action of the conspiracy?

To make the love spell as effective as possible, you can reinforce its action:

1. Make a pleasant surprise for your husband. Arrange a romantic dinner, invite to the cinema or present a certificate for the entertainment that he has long dreamed of. For example, flying in a wind tunnel or skydiving. The brighter the emotions of a man, the stronger the effect
2. Practice gratitude. Say "thank you" for everything he does for you, thank you even for the little things
3. Refrain from advice and initiative - let the man make his own decisions, even if you think he can't handle it
4. Don't blame or scold. Express all complaints through “I-messages”, talk about your feelings, and not about his misdeeds. Not “you are so inattentive and rude”, but “it’s unpleasant for me when you are rude to me, don’t do this again, please”

If you follow these rules, the power of a love plot will never subside.

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- this is shock and humiliation, the first thing in the head of a dumbfounded woman is scrolling through various options for how to recapture her husband from her mistress. Sometimes the longing for the former spouse sticks.

Before achieving a global goal, it is advisable to calm down, drink a glass of water (tea?) and understand yourself. How to remove a competitor is a simple question, it's all about family relationships in general.

You can seduce a man who has a wife.
You can seduce a man who has a mistress.
But you can not seduce a man who has a beloved woman.
Omar Khayyam

They go not to whom, but from whom

All cases are individual, but there are regular situations of “bored” family life:

• A man was married to himself (due to pregnancy; taken away from; when there is no love, but simply “two loneliness met”). So why be sad! You need to be honest with yourself: it's time to let go of your ex-spouse.
• The mistress took him away with the help of "black magic". Science is skeptical about such a manifestation, but does not exclude the negative impact of hypnosis, suggestion. The church can help you sort this out. Ordering services in health does not hurt.
• The wife turned into a "hen", became a caring "mother" in a warm bathrobe, cooking amazing soups. She thinks about satiety and purity of her husband, but forgets about intimate needs. And male nature requires physical temptations and affection!
• When omissions and claims accumulated over the years, the woman ceased to be a Muse.

Before you take your husband away from his mistress, it’s enough to think about whether the love of a devoted wife is enough? Will she disdain to go to bed with her “reclaimed” husband? Perhaps he truly fell in love with a woman, and should he be let go?

When this frank self-examination is over, and the decision to fight off her husband is finally made, it's time to take care of yourself and make your reflection in the mirror happy and beautiful! Is the king gone? Long live the Queen!

1. "Captain, captain, pull yourself up!"
   Before the operation "How to get a husband back from his mistress", it would be nice to take care of your health and appearance. You need to think about how to get rid of excess weight with the help of regular exercise, shapewear and separate nutrition. Properly selected clothes can hide up to 5 - 10 kg!
2. "Love me, love!".
   Entertainment, interesting activities will help get rid of a bad mood. You can sign up for a pool, go to karaoke, learn the basics of oriental dances. In the course of circumstances, light flirting with handsome male representatives is not prohibited.
3. Dress is a woman's second nature.
   It also doesn’t hurt to review the wardrobe, but how to cross out a few years from the passport? Pick a stylish hairstyle!

Now there is no doubt whether it is possible to remove the husband from the hated rival. Even necessary! It's time!

When the homeowner is to blame

How to return the most expensive of men from the "networks" of a mistress, suggest the advice of experienced psychologists, family consultants. This also applies to former partners in the same way.

3 main directions in the art of "how to remove a competitor":

1. They advise you to just wait as if nothing happened. Men understand that they have a honeymoon with their new lover, they hardly want to take on the burden of her problems.

   A fling for a few weeks means nothing. Here is a relationship on the side for more than 3 months - already a serious habit, it's time to act, and not think about how to discourage your husband from a new hobby.

2. There are lifelong ladies' men. Marrying such a woman, a woman does not build illusions about his monogamy. These men are wolves in sheep's clothing. You can only feel sorry for the naive girl, the “homeowner”.
3. Another type of action that dictates how to remove the third superfluous is to become better, more precisely, yourself (after all, once his wife drove him crazy)!

The advice of the men themselves and the unspoken “mistress code” will help with this issue.

Why not use its principles:

1. "Sex is the head of everything." They leave the family to another not for delicious pastries, but to plunge into the ocean of intimate desires. Who, no matter how the spouse knows, that the beloved loves in bed, what turned him on for a single year? A wife needs to forget about embarrassment, awkwardness, and make her man truly happy, without remorse.
2. "Gold fish". It is foolish to believe that the spouse keeps only intimacy near the other. The mistress, silently, listens to how he dreams of skydiving or is afraid of the dentist. And she never asks for anything.
3. "Play with me!". It is better to visit a sex toy store with your loved one or arrange a homemade striptease. Even such a detail as forgetting to wear underwear under a dress will always turn a man on.

A man needs to be able to listen and not fill up with household requests openly. Before you ask to pick up the baby from the kindergarten, you can kiss your spouse and gently look into his eyes, and not command him and order.

How to return everything, tell ... the behavior of the most confused person. Does he like homemade meatballs? Have you ever wanted to go to a concert or a hike? An understanding, like-minded wife is the best gift for him.

In addition, you can build on the Buddhist formula, when it is advised to eat, love and be sure to pray. The partner needs to be given this - to cook deliciously, love him, sometimes make him jealous and believe him. This is an effective technique for separating the legitimate other half from the wrong connections.

Brilliant thought from the sociology professor's blog:
- If your husband left for another, then her husband left for a third, and so on.
Wait, soon someone's husband will come to you.
They must go somewhere!

Keep close to you

If you didn’t need a partner in family life, you just wanted to regain faith in yourself and it turned out perfectly, it’s worth discussing everything with him honestly. It depends on his views on the future and the motives of his wife herself, whether they will go one way or whether everyone gets freedom further - from obligations, pretense, unnecessary attachment. Such a traitor will leave on his own or will do everything in the name of sincere forgiveness.

And if you really need a partner, and it became clear only now, you need to build your married life anew.

To keep your loved one near you, you can do things that are not without psychological tricks:

1. Use perfumes that he associates with happy periods of life together.
2. Prepare breakfast in bed.
3. Sometimes it's nice to dress up and run away with friends (both sexes) to a cafe. In the role of a comforter or “home psychologist”, friends are not always suitable, but sharing the fun is easy!
4. Before throwing everything old and unnecessary out of life, you can view joint photos and remember good moments.
5. Book a night at a hotel or visit the restaurant where He proposed.
6. Go on a long journey together. Yes, not the cheapest. However, such an event will help replenish the piggy bank of a new happy page in the family album.
7. Before and after intimacy, you can stroke your husband's back, stretch your feet, and at the end - kiss, for example, on the neck. By repeating such a ritual, reflexes are fixed. They are also made for love.

Outcome

Each wife in such a situation intuitively feels what can be done and whether it is worth eliminating her rival. But truly Great can be called such a spouse who was able to rekindle the fire of feelings, sincerely forgive and forget what they usually don’t get away with.

Perhaps that is why the woman is called Keeper of the Family Hearth. For the sake of such love and such a wife, the husband will do anything!

Fatal homeowner or "night butterfly" - her husband's mistress will always be a rival to be eliminated. If you want to know how to get rid of your husband's mistress - connect psychology.

How to get rid of your husband's mistress once and for all

There are several tactical tips that will help discourage her husband from going to the left.

Keep your spouse busy with family affairs, so that he has absolutely no time for love affairs. Repair, raising children, the need to earn more, a long and distant vacation with the whole family - all this requires the maximum involvement of a "walking" man. If he is a good family man, he will make a choice in favor of the family, if not, act in a different way.

Arouse disgust in your husband towards other women in general or towards a specific person - his passion. The method is good when it does not know about your awareness. Do you personally know your opponent? Great! Tell your husband casually what a slob she is, make her suspect about possible uncleanliness in bed and - in a deadly way - about venereal diseases.

The psychology of these methods is simple. A man does not want to have a close relationship with a loser. And his opinion can be helped by playing the "dirty game" of rumors and speculation. As she treats you, so do you. There is nothing to stand on ceremony here.

5 Ways to Intelligently Get Rid of Your Husband's Mistress

For many women, tracking down a couple in rented apartments and playing petty tricks on them is to lose face.

Everyone's communication levels are different, and if you don't want to start a "war" in the spirit of the Mexican series, do as they do in high society:

• If she is married or in a serious relationship, tell her partner about it. He, like you, has a right to know. And in a way, you're doing him a favor. If he practices unprotected sex with her, then he should know that he is not the only man in her bed;
• Confront her in public. You don't need to make a big scene, but you should let her know that she is being mean. If she has even a drop of decency, she will be ashamed to destroy someone else's family;
• If you are friends, stop talking. Do not deny her existence, in the end, she may have a desire to explain herself in a good way. But the old way can not be. The rate here, again, is on her conscientiousness and decency;
• Give her the man. Having received it completely at her disposal for 24 hours a day, she will quickly understand what “happiness” has fallen on her. Mistresses prefer to have a good time, but hate to share life with their victims. Very quickly she will refuse him and put him out with the suitcases on the street;
• A direct and concrete way, which is possible in rare cases - when you can really influence her life, on your own or through connections. Arrange for her at work a transfer to another city, an internship abroad, doubling the work schedule. This will physically separate your husband from her - and the issue will be closed.

When and how is it better for a man to get rid of his mistress?

Most men, judging by surveys and interviews in magazines, consider the very next day after the act of infidelity to be the best moment of the gap. The main calculation in this for married people is that it will be much easier for the wife to forgive a single sex on the side, if she finds out about what happened.

If the romance drags on, the man falls into the " scissors": stays with his mistress - he will ruin his wife's life, leave his passion - he risks making an enemy in her face. And abandoned mistresses are known to be capable of cruel and protracted revenge.

As soon as you become aware of your husband’s romance with another, every minute look for an opportunity to convey to him a simple truth - the sooner he breaks off the relationship, the quieter and safer everything will end.

Carefully! A psychopathic lover and how to recognize her

Do not mess with this type of women, even if you are sure that you want to compete with them for a man. Perhaps your husband himself is not happy that he got involved in a story with an abnormal lady, so don’t let him hide behind your “broad back”.

He wanted to go left - let him get out himself, and you are not his comrade in battle, but his wife, mother of children and keeper of the family hearth, and therefore you cannot waste your strength on confronting feverish hysterics.

You can find out that an opponent is potentially dangerous for your nerves and is capable of inappropriate actions, for example, harassment, threatening calls, etc., by several signs.