Intimate relationships are an important part of married life. When faced with some difficulties, couples do not always know how to overcome them. Many husbands remain dissatisfied with their wives' temperament and consider them cold and even frigid. However, it should be noted that this is almost never true. Most women are temperamental by nature.

In some cases, low sexual activity may be due to completely unexpected reasons. For example, husbands who mistakenly believe that their spouse is not interested in sex, at some point find out that she has had a lover all this time. In most cases, the man himself is to blame for such a set of circumstances. How to avoid such a development of events?

Horrible consequences

Conflicts on sexual grounds can lead to fatal consequences. Even the strongest and most enduring marriage can fall apart. People who have lived together for many years can become strangers overnight. And the reason for everything is the lack of tenderness, passion and understanding.

The first years of marriage turn out to be the happiest, but after a while everything changes very much. Few people expect their passion to fade away. However, this can happen. Having discovered that his wife no longer feels sexual attraction to him, not every man can behave correctly. In most cases it only gets worse.

This can happen to anyone. You shouldn't always act rashly. It is necessary to understand the cause of the problem and try to solve it. It must be remembered that a woman’s sexual desire primarily depends on her psychological state. Perhaps, if you carefully analyze your life, you will be able to understand the reason for its coldness.

Feelings have cooled down

If you have been together for more than a year, then perhaps your passion has begun to subside. Everyday problems and frequent quarrels leave no room for romance and tender feelings. The former passion fades away. However, this case is not at all hopeless. The main thing is not to give up. Having discussed the problem, the couple can improve their intimate life by diversifying it with something new and using all their imagination. It is important to remember that spouses must act by mutual consent.

Don’t think that all is lost for a long-term marriage. If you constantly work on relationships and thoroughly tackle this problem, you can achieve amazing results. If you live in the same house and are married, you have a huge chance of regaining your former cravings. Leaving behind minor quarrels and forgetting about everyday problems, you can achieve harmony and understanding.

Pregnancy, postpartum recovery and childbirth

Pregnancy and the birth of a child are one of the most difficult times for a marital relationship. During this period, it is important to pay attention not only to your desires, but also to the health of the young mother. The happy anticipation of the baby gives way to sleepless nights and domestic quarrels. A woman who has recently given birth cannot immediately perform marital duties. She needs time to recover, and she also has enough responsibilities with the child and around the house.

In such a situation, a man has a great responsibility. He should treat the current situation with understanding and try to help. The husband's behavior can irritate the woman even more, and even make her dislike intimate relationships. It is worth noting that a woman’s refusal of sexual contact is not her whim. This phenomenon is related to her health. Intimate relationships immediately after childbirth can lead to serious problems.

Not every man is able to treat the situation with understanding. In some cases, a woman does not want to have sex during pregnancy. The reason for this is a banal fear for the baby’s health. It is important to understand that this is not just about her child. This is your baby too, which means you should take the current situation with care.

Constant fatigue and household chores

Perhaps the reason for everything is simple fatigue. Your spouse is very tired at work, and besides, she is forced to do all the housework and raise children. She simply does not have enough physical strength for sex. Some women manage to do all their business, but do not forget that everything in our world is individual. If one representative of the fair sex manages to do all her chores and does not deprive her husband of attention, then the other needs help.

This does not mean that a woman should not fulfill her direct responsibilities. It is important to remember that she is also a person and can get very tired. Men cannot even imagine how much work their wives take on. In most cases, the blame for this lies with him.

If a woman gets up early in the morning, spends the whole day at work, and when she returns in the evening she is forced to rush to the stove, help the children with homework and do household chores - she simply does not have enough strength for anything else. What should a man do in this case? Some representatives of the stronger half of humanity mistakenly believe that their responsibilities end at the workplace. This is absolutely not true.

When you return home after a hard day at work, you should try to help your spouse. Your help may be minimal, but it will show the woman that you are trying to help her and not just want to satisfy your needs. Start treating a woman with respect, take an interest in her well-being, and you will immediately notice significant changes in her behavior. You should not think that a woman is obliged to do everything at once.

She's no longer attracted to you

Look at yourself in the mirror. Have you changed in appearance? Perhaps at the beginning of the relationship you were a muscular handsome man, but over the years you have changed a lot. Of course, aging is inevitable, and just because your partner has aged doesn't mean your feelings will automatically cool down. The main thing is not to neglect yourself, and try to take care of your appearance at any age.

Any woman tries to take care of herself. She is on a diet, follows fashion and tries to conform to it. Many men believe that marriage allows them to no longer worry about their appearance. This opinion is wrong. It is important to remember that appearance plays a big role in a person’s life.

Take care of yourself, start going to the gym or change your wardrobe. Try to become attractive and interesting to your wife again. You yourself will notice how her behavior will change dramatically.

The woman remains dissatisfied

Many women have the courage to speak up about it. They are not satisfied with the quality of intimate relationships; moreover, they do not bring her pleasure. The quality of sexual life begins to deteriorate when a man does not strive to please his partner. By caring only about your own desires, you can completely turn your spouse away from sex.

Feeling a lack of understanding, most wives try not to raise this topic anymore and begin to avoid intimacy. Remember, sex is very important for a woman. Her temperament is not much different from yours, and not having received satisfaction, many try to avoid unpleasant experiences.

Perhaps the woman will try to smooth out the corners and try to diversify your life. But seeing only coldness and misunderstanding in response, he will no longer be able to restrain dissatisfaction and disappointment, which will lead to constant quarrels.

Having a lover

One of the saddest and most significant reasons for refusing sex may be the appearance of another man in your wife’s life. Modern society is not inclined to justify a woman who has an affair on the side. However, it is worth thinking about the reasons for this decision. If your spouse has been trying to improve your life for years and has not seen proper understanding from you, you should be sympathetic to her choice. She's just tired of being unhappy.

Try to understand whether you are to blame for the current situation. Remember, were you both satisfied with intimate relationships? Or maybe you yourself had affairs on the side and your spouse simply could not forgive the insult. Not every woman is able to completely forgive betrayal and forget betrayal. Did your wife look happy next to you? If you give yourself an honest answer to this question, you will be able to objectively assess the situation.

The appearance of a lover perfectly explains the situation with the refusal of sexual relations. If a man can calmly enter into intimate relationships with several ladies, then the psychology of women is structured a little differently. They prefer to focus their attention on one man and give him all of themselves. If the husband is no longer of particular interest to her, the lover becomes this man. She may consider an intimate relationship with you as “cheating” on her man.

In this situation, you should not count on restoring the relationship. And yet, if you love your spouse and are ready to forgive her for cheating, try to improve your relationship and correct the mistakes you have made.

What to do?

It is not always worth looking for a non-existent lover. This is an extreme case, and not every woman is able to decide on this. Instead of tormenting your spouse with groundless jealousy, you should try to improve the relationship and fix everything. By using the following methods, you can improve your relationship with your spouse.

• Try to talk with your spouse - do not avoid direct and frank conversations. It is worth choosing the right time for conversation. Start the conversation when you are both ready. Don't choose the moment during a quarrel, or when your wife is very tired. Try to speak carefully and do not put pressure on your spouse; explain to her that you are very concerned about the current situation and you want to correct it. Believe me, your spouse will definitely make contact with you.
• Divide the responsibilities - don't feel like your wife has to do everything alone. If you can't do housework, take care of the children. Show your wife that you are ready to help her. Make her life easier. The wife will have free time, she will no longer feel tired and lonely. If you are very tired after work, think about how tired she is. Don't just think about your feelings. Put yourself in the position of a wife.
• Pay attention to her and make surprises - even if you have been together for many years, do not forget that your spouse wants to feel desired and loved. Give her compliments, give her small gifts, arrange surprises. Prove your feelings and show your spouse that you really need her. Having realized your love, a woman will definitely be drawn to you.
• Variety in bed – if you are a supporter of monotony, then it’s time to change your habits. Let your wife know you want to try something new. Get her interested in your offer. You should not arrange a “change day” when your spouse is very tired and wants to go to bed as soon as possible. Choose a special day and try to spend it together. You can read relevant literature together or turn to the Internet for help. This will not only add variety to your intimate life, but will also bring you closer.

Learn to understand each other

Treat your wife with love and understanding. Don't forget to talk. Don’t hush up problems, always talk about what worries you. By being honest with each other, you can find long-awaited harmony. Don't focus on arguments and negativity, try to resolve difficulties peacefully. This way you can remove the tension between you. Your spouse will know that she can always tell you honestly about her desires.

Diversify your leisure time. Go on an adventure together or just go for a short walk. Try to spend as much time together as possible. Share your experiences, talk about problems at work, and be sure to let your wife speak out.

Do not forget that you can often be wrong towards your wife. Accumulated grievances can cause serious problems. Apologize if you did something wrong and forget about such a thing as pride. Once you begin to treat your spouse with love and understanding, you yourself will notice how your married life will change dramatically and your problems will disappear.

As many people say, if you didn’t give it, then suffer alone. Why are so many families falling apart today? The answer is simple: there is no mutual understanding, there is no mutual desire. You just got bored or the bustle of life (being) took away all the beauty and romance. Well, where to go from this existence, what to do to actually become a happy person. Most likely you need to look deep into yourself. Change something inside yourself and then everything will go uphill and everything will work out. And romance and passion and great desire... Everything will come back, you just need the right priorities, they need to be valued and respected, you can’t play with feelings. And then you won't sit alone like a fool.

Let's talk about one question - why does the Wife deny her husband sex?

How often do you hear from men “My wife won’t let me, I don’t understand the reason, I don’t know what to do”... Is it possible to reason with her?

To begin with, I would like to give you one parable. From the life of animals. From the sex life of gorillas.
Biologists observed them - one male and five females - for several years. And they noticed: some representatives of the weaker monkey sex often and persistently offer sex to the male, feigning an extreme degree of readiness. At the same time, the one who is already pregnant is the most active - she clings to her “husband,” the father of her unborn child. Why, one might ask, if the goal has already been achieved and continuation of the family line is ensured? And then, it turns out, so that the male is not distracted by other females. According to scientists, this behavior became a harbinger of monogamy in humans.
The point of the parable: even monkeys understand that a male needs sex, that it strengthens the family. But some human people don’t understand this.

“I’m tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep”
Sexless - psychologists use this term to describe a disgusting phenomenon that has affected both Western and Russian society. Namely, the lack of regular sexual intercourse between spouses. It happens, of course, that husbands deprive their wives of intimate attention. But more often than not, women refuse intimacy. And men, tormented by their libido, hear: “I’m tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep.” Or a completely offensive one: “Where did you go?”

Psychologists have found the answer. But you won't believe how simple and straightforward it is.
The author of one song sings the following words: “You refused me three times, that’s how you are…”
An amazing experiment was conducted by sex therapist from Australia Bettina Arndt. She asked 98 men and women (spouses) to keep anonymous diaries of their intimate lives for a year. And tell them the pure truth. Having received what she wanted, the researcher wrote an entire book
"Why Women Quit Sex and Other Battles in the Bedroom."
Bettina did not make the shocking discovery that there were many reasons. And they are usually different for everyone. But I still came across a few common ones.
First: for some reason, most wives believe that sex should only happen when, where and how they want. But at the same time they do not communicate their thoughts to their husbands. And they simply refuse. Like, you have to understand it yourself. But he, the goat, doesn’t understand. And he climbs. And he gets offended even later.
In other words, wives make their husbands guilty of untimely advances. And they themselves are offended by them - such is women’s logic. And this resentment, in turn, becomes a reason for refusal...
Second: the wife holds some kind of grudge against her husband, even if it’s a very small one: for example, he didn’t take out the trash, didn’t ask how she was doing at work, said nasty things to his mother-in-law. And, sulking, he “punishes” with deprivation of intimacy. But again, it doesn't tell the reason for the sex strike. They are silent as a log.
But even when they say the same notorious “I’m tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep,” many women omit the details. Or maybe they really had a hard day at work. And they are so preoccupied with her that there is no room for thoughts about sex in their heads.
But dear readers, what is the conclusion: the bedroom is not a battlefield for psychics, and husbands are not clever telepaths. They need to explain it in detail. And don’t let things get to the point of deep grievances.

No need for romance, better go straight to bed.
“I love my wife,” someone says, essentially confirming the conclusion of the Australian researcher. - I want a wife all the time, although we have been together for 20 years. But she doesn’t care about me. And all the conversations on this topic yield nothing. He doesn’t go to the doctor: “I’m not sick!” I’m physically healthy - porn turns me on, but knowing this, it doesn’t allow me to turn it on. And nothing helps: we go on vacation, and go to restaurants, and to dances - there are more than enough romances..."
Bettina explains that passion, or even basic lust, which pushes newlyweds into each other's arms, cannot last forever. Moreover, it manifests itself equally in both spouses. Yes, even after many years. The production of sexual hormones responsible for it - passion - fades away in about 18 months.
The researcher has found the most primitive production enhancer - sex. But how can you be “treated” by sex if it doesn’t exist?! Very simple, says Bettina. I can’t through it. Through “I’m tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep.”
A woman must realize the harmfulness of sexless, understand how painful it is for a loving husband and destructive for the family. And do not refuse, always agree when your husband asks. Unless, of course, she was overcome by an attack of appendicitis.

EVEN MONKEYS UNDERSTAND THIS

To begin with, a scientific parable is on topic, as they say. From the sex life of gorillas. Biologists observed them - one male and five females - for several years. And they noticed: some representatives of the weaker monkey sex often and persistently offer sex to the male, feigning an extreme degree of readiness. At the same time, the one who is already pregnant is the most active - she clings to her “husband” - the father of her unborn child. Why, one might ask, if the goal has already been achieved and continuation of the family line is ensured? And then, it turns out, so that the male is not distracted by other females. According to scientists, this behavior became a harbinger of monogamy in humans.

The point of the parable: even monkeys understand that a male needs sex, that it strengthens the family. But some human females don't understand this.

“TIRED - HEAD HURTS - I WANT TO SLEEP”

“Sexless” is the term psychologists use to describe a disgusting phenomenon that has struck both Western and Russian society. Namely, the absence of regular sexual intercourse between spouses. It happens, of course, that husbands deprive their wives of intimate attention. But more often than not, women refuse intimacy. And men, tormented by their libido, hear: “I’m tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep.” Or a completely offensive one: “Where are you going?!”

If a wife constantly refuses a man, and, mind you, a normal man, take my word for it, for no reason, then this humiliates the man,” expresses the most common emotion of someone Sasha, who wrote on the “KP” forum. He also offers a solution to the problem - also very popular:

I went to meet my wife halfway. And he freed her from his desires for intimacy with her. Now she doesn’t even have to come up with reasons for refusal. I give my tenderness to the one who wants it.

“And we have complete harmony,” Maria shares her experience. - He doesn’t want it, and I don’t need it.

Well, what if the husband still loves his wife? If he is loyal and conscientious? He wants her exclusively. Dreaming of true sexual harmony? Suffering. He is tormented by guesses. Take my word for it, there are a lot of them. How can we be here?

Psychologists have found the answer. But you won't believe how simple and straightforward it is.

YOU REFUSED ME THREE TIMES THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE

An amazing experiment was conducted by sex therapist from Australia Bettina Arndt. She asked 98 men and women (spouses) to keep anonymous diaries of their intimate lives for a year. And tell them the pure truth. Having received what she wanted, the researcher wrote an entire book, “Why Women Quit Sex and Other Battles in the Bedroom.”

Reading other people's revelations, Bettina did not make a shocking discovery, discovering that there were many reasons. And they are usually different for everyone. But I still came across a few common ones.

First: for some reason, most wives believe that sex should only happen when, where and how they want. But at the same time they do not communicate their thoughts to their husbands. And they simply refuse. Like, you have to understand it yourself. But he, the goat, doesn’t understand. And he climbs. And he gets offended even later.

In other words, wives make their husbands guilty of untimely advances. And they themselves are offended by them - such is women’s logic. And this resentment, in turn, becomes a reason for refusal...

The result is sexless that gets worse over time.

Second: the wife holds some kind of grudge against her husband, even if it’s a very small one: for example, he didn’t take out the trash, didn’t ask how her work was, and said nasty things to his mother-in-law. And, sulking, he “punishes” with deprivation of intimacy. But again, he doesn’t say the reason for the sex strike. They are silent as a log. Further - see above.

But even when they say the same notorious “I’m tired, my head hurts, I want to sleep,” many women omit the details. Or maybe they really had a hard day at work. And they are so preoccupied with her that there is no room for thoughts about sex in their heads.

Conclusion: the bedroom is not a battleground for psychics, and husbands are not clever telepaths. They need to explain it in detail. And don’t let things get to the point of deep grievances.

NO NEED FOR ROMANCE, IT'S BETTER TO GO IMMEDIATELY TO BED

Mrs. Arndt herself was shocked by something else in the diaries. It turned out that all the common advice that psychologists love to give is no good. Add romance to the relationship, have a heart-to-heart talk, go to theaters and restaurants with your wife, take the children somewhere, visit a sex therapist, finally watch porn together... All this is nonsense. It only works in very rare cases.

“I love my wife,” someone Igor writes to us on the forum, essentially confirming the conclusion of the Australian researcher. - I want a wife all the time, although we have been together for 20 years. But she doesn’t care about me. And all the conversations on this topic yield nothing. He doesn’t go to the doctor: “I’m not sick.” I’m physically healthy - porn turns me on, but knowing this, it doesn’t allow me to turn it on. And nothing helps: we go on vacation, go to restaurants, and go dancing - there’s more than enough romance..."

Bettina Arndt explains that passion, or even basic lust, that pushes newlyweds into each other's arms cannot last forever. Moreover, it manifests itself equally in both spouses. Yes, even after many years. The production of sexual hormones responsible for it - passion - fades away in about 18 months.

The researcher has found the most primitive production enhancer - sex.

But how can you be “treated” by sex if it doesn’t exist?! It’s very simple, the researcher assures. I can’t through it. Through “I’m tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep.”

A woman must realize the harmfulness of sexless, understand how painful it is for a loving husband and destructive for the family. And do not refuse - always agree when your husband asks. Unless, of course, she was overcome by an attack of appendicitis.

By the way, Arndt learned from her diaries that there are plenty of women who, when they go to bed with their husbands, do not feel any sexual urges. But, unexpectedly succumbing to the pressure of the touches, they suddenly feel that the corresponding excitement begins to set in. And the process ultimately proceeds at the proper level.

The secret to happy couples is that they just do it, says a stunned researcher from faraway Australia.

Maybe such a simple secret will work for Russia too?

AND AT THIS TIME

The third is not superfluous if he is a hypnotist

Sexless has brought the Italians almost to the point of shamanism. Namely - to hypnosis, with the help of which they try to influence wives who have gone on sex strike. According to the newspaper La Repubblica, 8 million people aged 18 to 65 have already turned to the services of hypnotists. And if you believe it - the newspaper - it helps many. And much faster than psychoanalysis.

In some mysterious way, hypnotists (for 10 sessions, 80 euros each) manage to awaken their former sexual disposition towards their husbands in refuse wives. This means that somewhere in the subconscious it is still preserved. And this is encouraging.

HIGH SCIENCE

And the pills won't hurt

You have to understand that the first wife to refuse her husband is the one whose libido is bad. Gone. And this may be the deep root of all problems. And one of the probable reasons for the loss - purely biological - was discovered by Katherine Esposito from the Second University of Naples.

The researcher knew: men with high cholesterol levels have decreased libido. If only because fatty plaques constrict blood vessels and interfere with normal blood flow to the genitals. Do women have similar problems? Ms. Esposito decided to check it out. She examined patients with normal and elevated cholesterol levels. And the harsh truth was revealed to her: the latter, suffering from so-called hypercholesterolemia, had an extremely reduced ability to be sexually aroused.

However, “abnormal” ones, according to the researcher, are treatable. Medication. Through drugs that block the enzyme in the liver that is necessary for the production of cholesterol. A group of such substances are called statins. These are the ones that need to be accepted. Naturally, after consulting with your doctor and making sure that your cholesterol levels are really elevated.

Discord in family life, and especially in its intimate part, is always sad. Has sex with your spouse become less and less frequent because of her refusals? You shouldn’t immediately think about cheating: a wife may not want her husband for other reasons. Let's figure out what the problem might be in a situation where the wife doesn't want her husband, and try to find solutions to it.

She's just tired

Yes, yes, women get tired too! Regardless of what your wife does, she may simply collapse from fatigue by the evening. The average working woman spends at least 8 hours at work, 1 hour in transport, after work she has time to run to the store for groceries and pick up the children from school, then quickly tidy up the house, cook dinner and check up on the kids’ homework. Even a ninja will have no energy left for sex after such a race.

What can we say about women on maternity leave? A small child takes away not only physical, but also moral strength. Worries and worries about the development and health of the baby, constant lack of sleep exhausts the young mother, who at the end of the day has only one desire left - to fall into bed and fall asleep.

Solution: Free your wife from some of the household chores. For example, you can take over your child's evening playdates (or pick them up from school). In the meantime, while your wife is preparing dinner, you can put her in a playful mood by spinning around her in the kitchen, hugging her waist and whispering compliments in her ear.

She is ill

Constant complaints of headaches may not be a fiction or an excuse. It is likely that your wife may indeed have some ailments that prevent her from thinking about anything other than her well-being.

Women over 50 begin menopause, during which they may feel unwell. To make you feel better, you can go to the doctor: he will prescribe medications that will help alleviate the symptoms of this difficult period for women.

Solution: Talk to your wife. Maybe she's afraid to go to the doctor. It is necessary to insist on consultation with a specialist if there is a reason for this.

She's depressed

Women's emotionality makes them more susceptible to depression. Constant stress at work, worry about children, unfulfilled dreams - there are many reasons that can upset your wife. And if the heart is restless, then most women cannot even think about intimacy.

Solution: Give your missus some surprise: for example, invite her to a romantic dinner or an evening walk in the park. Try to cheer her up, take her thoughts in a different direction. After a little pleasant rest and a romantic date with you, she will most likely reciprocate your feelings.

She doesn't love you anymore

By far, this is the most serious reason for refusing sex. If your wife has become cold towards you not only in bed, but also in everyday life, if even little things irritate her, if she is in a very bad (or vice versa, unreasonably cheerful) mood, then it is still worth considering this option.

Solution: A heart-to-heart conversation is the most correct solution to the problem. Most people sometimes doubt their feelings, especially after several years of marriage. Maybe she just doesn't have enough of your attention? Each situation is individual, so you need to try to understand what exactly is the reason for the wife’s cooling off.

Of course, there could still be a great many reasons. Whatever they are, you need to try to talk to your wife calmly, without a showdown, to let her understand what you are going through. Attention, male care and affection can warm up any woman, even the most offended. Be frank and gentle with her, and the period of abstinence will end immediately.

Anya, Kemerovo

Psychologist's comment:

“1. She's just tired ”

“Unloading” a woman is good advice. But fatigue can be so severe (especially among women with responsible work) that household help will not solve the problem. Talk to your wife, ask why she is tired. Sometimes she needs you to just listen to her. Then the level of trust in you will rise, and your willingness to have sex may also rise. Sometimes you need to help a woman seriously reconsider the boundaries of her responsibility at work or even decide to change jobs.

“2. The emotionality of women makes them more susceptible to depressive conditions.”

This is not true, men also suffer from depression. Most likely, the author by “depression” simply means a bad mood. Depression in the clinical sense significantly reduces energy levels in everything (work, communication, sexual activity). There is no time for sex, I would like to force myself to get out of bed in the morning. If this happens to your woman, I strongly recommend persuading her to see a psychotherapist.

Answering the question: “Why doesn’t the wife want a husband?” I would highlight several reasons.

1. There is no emotional closeness between spouses; coldness and alienation reign in the family. It so happens that over the course of life in a couple, many unresolved problems arise. And it seems that it is impossible to solve them. People reach a dead end when trying to explain to their partner that they are right. And then the spouses begin to move away from problems and from each other, increasing their distance. Until recently, your loved one seemed like a stranger, and you didn’t want to have sex with him. Solution: see a family therapist. He will not impose recipes or reveal secrets. It will simply help you hear each other, and, most likely, return warmth to the relationship.
2. The woman is offended. And why - that the man doesn’t remember or doesn’t understand. Ask to tell you. Even if you don't understand, just listen. It is important for a woman to be heard and accepted. Then the level of trust in you increases and the likelihood of sex increases.
3. Tired. See above.
4. She doesn't love anymore. Sometimes a person cannot understand himself, and it seems to him that he does not love another. Perhaps the wife is going through some kind of difficult crisis, reassessing her desires. Be patient. And try to talk to her.

And sometimes love really goes away. This is very sad, and no one is to blame for this. And the sooner you both accept this fact, the more time will be left for a new life.

My experience as a psychologist says that sex toys are bought by the most ordinary people who have allowed their desires to be peacefully present in their everyday lives.

Intimate life in a family is subject to ups and downs. There are situations when one spouse does not understand the other. Husbands often wonder: why doesn’t the wife want intimacy? Do not rush to interrogate or look for your lover under the bed. The reasons are usually closer and more prosaic.

Overload

The life of a modern woman is difficult and multifaceted. At work she is an advanced specialist, at home she combines the positions of cook, cleaner, nurse, nanny, tutor and animator in one person. And she is offended at the sight of her husband lying on the sofa while she rushes between the child and the household. It is not surprising that by the evening the wife does not want intimacy with her husband: she simply gets exhausted and falls asleep on the go. She has neither the strength nor the desire to fulfill her marital duty.

What to do:

Take on some of the household responsibilities yourself. Your wife may not ask you directly, but she will be grateful if you help her. Work with your child while your wife prepares dinner, entertain him, give him a bath. Some things can be done together with your wife: joint activities bring you closer together. And at this time you can hint about your desires.

Role Expectations

Historically, a man conquers a woman and courtes her. But what do we often observe in marriage? My husband has settled on the Internet or is chopping monsters in his favorite toy. And for some reason he thinks that his back motivates his wife to take active action. But my wife thinks differently: if you need it, start it.

What to do:

Don't hang out on the sofa; water doesn't flow under a lying stone. Let your wife know your wishes in advance. Show attention, tenderness - an unexpected kiss, a compliment, a hug. Rest assured, your attention will have an effect. In any case, it won’t hurt!

Temperament difference

A common situation: a husband wants intimacy several times a week, but once a month seems to be enough for his wife. Physiology is involved here. A woman’s desire increases after her menstrual period and reaches its peak around the middle of the cycle. During and shortly before menstruation, a wife may not want intimacy with her husband.

The opposite situation also happens - increased desire in the wife, decreased desire in the husband.

What to do:

Experiment together, look for your “arithmetic mean.” If you both wish, you can find a compromise option.

Health problems

The wife does not want intimacy with her husband if she has gynecological problems, for example, inflammatory processes in the vagina. They interfere with enjoying the proximity of diseases of the pelvic organs: intestines, kidneys, bladder. In this case, unpleasant and even painful sensations arise.

What to do:

Try to discuss the problem delicately. Convince your wife to be examined by a gynecologist or other specialists. You may need joint treatment - show tact and understanding, and the desire to meet halfway.

Pregnancy and childbirth

A pregnant woman may suffer from toxicosis, be embarrassed about her figure, and a large belly. Sometimes a woman refuses intimacy so as not to harm the unborn child, especially in the later stages of pregnancy.

Childbirth is a huge stress for the female reproductive system. Even an astronaut never dreamed of such tests! The first two to three months after childbirth, sexual intercourse is contraindicated for a woman. All these cracks, tears and hemorrhoids must heal!

What to do:

A pregnant wife needs your tenderness and care. Convince her that she is still beautiful and desirable to you. But don’t be too persistent, show respect to your wife - for her, the child comes first. Ultimately, these difficulties are temporary.

Small child

Is your wife breastfeeding? This is wonderful, your child is lucky. However, all the hormones of a nursing woman “work” not for sex, but for providing the child with nutrition.

Small children are a source of a lot of worries and a lot of physical stress for your wife. Try holding your child in your arms for at least half an hour! A woman doesn’t get enough sleep at night, and if suddenly the child gets sick, your wife certainly has no time for sex.

What to do:

Try to be with your wife, share her concerns. Difficulties are temporary, children grow up. When breastfeeding ends, women may experience increased desire for their husband, sometimes even more than before the birth of the child.

Rare intercourse

If the closeness of husband and wife occurs rarely, the body remembers it as a habit.

What to do:

As they say, you have to make love! Try to develop a more or less regular rhythm of the relationship.

Relationship problems.

The wife denies her husband intimacy if there is a breakdown in the relationship. The reasons for the reluctance here are psychological: resentment, mistrust, disappointment in the husband, lack of spiritual intimacy.

What to do:

But this is serious. Look for where your relationship has cracked. Remember why your wife could be offended by you? Speak in a calm tone, try not to lead to a quarrel. Remember, empathy and understanding are very important for a woman. If your relationship with your wife is truly dear to you, be patient and restore trust.