Our self-esteem affects all areas of life. On the image of ourselves, on the decisions and actions we take, as well as on the achievements. For a woman, no less than for a man, it is important to have a healthy self-esteem and be confident in yourself. How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence in a woman, we will consider in detail in this article.

Based on self-esteem, overestimated or underestimated, it is clearly written in our head what is good and what is bad. What is right and what is wrong. How we should look and behave. How our other half should look and behave. How our children and other people’s children should behave, etc. It all depends on how highly we value ourselves and how much our real ideas about ourselves are in conflict with our ideals.

What are self-esteem and self-image made of?

Self-esteem throughout life is constantly changing due to different circumstances and people who surround us.

Self-esteem can be of two types:

• Internal;
• External.

Internal or individual, this is how a person evaluates himself according to various criteria.

Such as:

• Quality of character;
• Abilities: physical, intellectual, creative, communication, etc.;
• The level of your achievements for your age in all areas of life.

External or collective self-esteem. This self-assessment shows the level of significance in the social environment in which a person is or wants to be. His external data, valuable qualities of character, skills or achievements for a given environment.

Psychological studies show that self-esteem built on internal grounds is more comfortable for a person than built on external grounds.

This self-esteem is more stable. Such people overcome difficulties better and more easily and are not tormented by constant doubts that something is wrong with them when someone looks askance at them.

6 main reasons for low self-esteem in women

Low self-esteem comes from childhood. Yes, as strange as it may seem, the root of the problem lies in our distant childhood.

1 Reason. Perhaps you had a childhood in which you lacked praise and support. And there was a big resentment towards the parents, who, in your opinion, did not give something, did not like it. But childhood is the past, and you live in the present.

Every adult is free to be responsible for his own actions and decisions. There is no need to blame parents and their upbringing methods for problems and failures. The moment has come when you need to take responsibility for your happiness and self-confidence.

2 Reason. Envy. A great influence on the formation of self-esteem, coming from childhood, had people whom we then envied. It was they who reflected a stronger influence on the formation of our personality than our close friends and acquaintances that we then had.

3 Reason. Your partner. Perhaps you are unlucky and instead of someone who is loving and caring, you are next to a man who negatively influences you. With words and actions, trampling all female confidence and self-belief.

I think this situation is familiar to many women. But only a few are able to change anything. Silently and resignedly they endure humiliation and wild mental pain for years.

4 Reason. social standards. Some women simply torture themselves in front of the mirror. “Why am I so ugly?” and “Who needs me like this?” etc. Such women are very susceptible to the influence of society. It is he who dictates to them the standards of beauty and success that they must possess at all costs. Therefore, they are always dissatisfied with their appearance and their life. And then depression and emptiness in the soul. There is no time for confidence and high self-esteem.

Most women's problems appear due to lack of love and self-doubt!

5 Reason. Negative experiences from the past. Every person in life has encountered situations when either he was shown in a bad light by other people, or he himself committed actions after which he did not feel very good. All these situations undermine a person’s faith in himself and his strength. Many women, engaged in “soul-searching,” do not give themselves peace. Fantasizing on the topic: “What would it be like if this never happened to me?” These thoughts, literally, occupy the entire space surrounding the woman.

6 Reason. Excessive anxiety. Anxious people are more likely to have low self-esteem. They read negativity from the surrounding space, which could hypothetically threaten them. The key danger from the environment for such a person may be another person with his opinion, assessment, and attitude. Therefore, it is often very difficult for anxious people to have high self-esteem.

Have you ever asked yourself the question: How is confidence different from self-confidence?

Confidence is based on real achievements, and self-confidence is not based on anything, this is a kind of internal state of “I’m cool.” Self-confident people try to prove their confidence to other people. A confident person is truly confident in himself, he does not need to prove anything to anyone.

How a woman can increase her self-esteem and self-confidence - 8 simple steps

It is necessary to build a strategy for developing your self-esteem:

1. It is extremely important to learn to love yourself. Loving yourself means treating yourself with respect, dignity, and reverence. To do this, you need to give yourself compliments and praise yourself. Be sure to repeat the words out loud. And it doesn’t matter what others think about you. Modesty may adorn a woman, but this is not the case. You need to love yourself, and for this you need training:

“What delicious pies I have, I’m a super housewife,” “What beautiful eyes I have,” etc.

1. Never berate yourself. If you did something wrong, say: “I am smart and happy, and every mistake is a step towards perfection.”

1. Filter what other people say about you. If in your presence someone said that you did not act very well or that you had let yourself go and gained extra pounds. Stop such conversations with the words: “You don’t need to talk about me like that. These are my favorite kilograms, I’ll deal with them myself.”

1. Some women are too complex and uptight. It is very difficult to tell yourself something very pleasant, to praise yourself with it. In this case, you can do it gradually. For example, instead of “I am a gorgeous woman,” you can say “I am a beautiful woman.” Think of the praise you want to hear addressed to you from other people. Speak words that you truly believe.

1. Surround yourself with people with high self-esteem. If there are people with low self-esteem next to you, they try to raise it at the expense of others. Such people can humiliate and insult. This happens unconsciously to them, as it is a common defensive reaction.

Your environment should consist of people who love what they do.

A very good option for such acquaintances is all kinds of trainings and seminars on various topics. There you can meet people with common views and interests.

1. Start something new. If you want to feel your strength, you have to lift weights. Everyone has power, but not everyone knows about it. The more often you try something new, the more strengths you will see in yourself.

Many women are looking for something they like and cannot find it. However, if they look into the very depths of our consciousness, then for sure there will be a very cool idea there. Even the most insane. The main thing is that you like her. Take the first step towards its implementation. Perhaps a new business will bring you not only self-confidence, but also good income. Which is also important for a complete personality.

1. You shouldn't chase other people's successes. No matter how successful you are, there will always be someone who will be more successful than you. It lowers your self-esteem, in your own eyes. Be yourself in any circumstances.

1. There is no need to tell and show everyone your genius and superiority. If you truly are a self-sufficient person, people will see and understand this.

I am sure that you, even just by reading this article, have become several percent more confident in yourself. After all, you found the strength and time to study this topic in detail. This means only one thing - you strive for self-development and self-knowledge. That which is the basis of everything that is stated in this article.

Want to check your self-esteem right now?

If yes, then I suggest you take this test. It was designed by M.A. Panfilova for diagnosing children. However, psychologists actively use it to diagnose adults, slightly changing and adapting some interpretations.

Test "Cactus". Take a sheet of A4 paper, a pen or pencil. Before testing begins, you need to answer 3 questions:

1. What is my self-esteem?
2. How confident am I?
3. How much do I need the care and attention of my loved ones?

After completing the test, it will become clear whether your opinion about yourself and the test results coincide.

Test instructions:

• A sheet of paper is placed on the table in a vertical position;
• We draw a cactus. Only you decide what it will be like. You are given complete freedom of your imagination.

Test results:

Fold your piece of patterned paper in half. A line appears in the middle of the picture. This is the line of self-esteem.

• If the fold line runs through the middle of your drawing, then this indicates healthy, adequate self-esteem.
• If the drawing is above the fold line, then this indicates inflated self-esteem.
• If the drawing is below the fold line, then self-esteem is low.

• The vertical line in the middle is the present line;
• The line on the left side is the line of the past;
• On the right side, this is the line of the future.

• If a vertical line intersects the drawing in the middle, then this indicates that you are living in the present.
• The drawing is in the left corner of the sheet - stuck in the past. Try working on your past. Perhaps something bothers you about him. Resentment, understatement, guilt, etc.
• The picture is drawn on the right side. This suggests that you are living dreams of the future. These may be your dreams that you want to realize, but never dare to do so. Think about what you can do now. Is it worth putting off for a bright future what you can already get in the present?

Now let's look at your drawing in more detail.

• A cactus is drawn in a pot. This suggests that you need home comfort and the support of loved ones. It's not that you don't have it, it's just that this moment is very important to you.
• A desert cactus is drawn. This suggests that you feel much more comfortable alone than in the company of other people. Confident in yourself and your abilities.
• Large pot and small cactus. You are in dire need of the warmth of home and the support of loved ones.
• The presence of large, closely spaced needles (spines) on a cactus is a sign of aggression. If the needles stick out and are located along the entire contour of the cactus, then this is external aggression. Which can manifest itself as quarrels with other people, an uncontrollable flow of swear words, etc.

Large needles are found only on the inside of the cactus, which indicates the presence of internal aggression. She manifests herself in a constantly bad mood, not wanting to see anything good. Bitten nails and lips are also signs of this type of aggression.

• There is only one cactus in the picture - this indicates that you are an introvert, that is, a person who is more comfortable being alone. If there are several cacti drawn, then you are an extrovert - a person who likes to be in society, likes to communicate a lot, has a large circle of acquaintances, etc.

If you have one cactus, but has several small shoots, then you are a mixed type.

• By the number of shoots on a cactus, you can also determine the number of people who are significant to you today.
• The presence of flowers anywhere in your design speaks of sexuality and femininity.
• The presence of a window sill, stand or ground in the picture may indicate a person who stands firmly on his own two feet. He has his own vision of the world, goals to which he strives.

Conclusion

I would like to end this article with what, in my opinion, is a brilliant phrase said by Robert Frost:

Something we hide

will create insecurity in us,

until we recognize that this something is ourselves.

I hope this article helped you understand how a woman can increase her self-esteem and self-confidence. Perhaps you have your own secret techniques on this topic. Share them in the comments.

Good luck and patience!

Such a personality quality as self-esteem is inextricably linked with self-confidence and the achievement of certain successes in professional activities or personal life. After all, people who have this characteristic underestimated often have many complexes and problems associated with it. Accepting yourself for who you are, believing in your own strengths are some of the main components of future success. Therefore, this is a common reason for turning to psychologists. However, you can work on yourself on your own, taking into account some nuances and following fairly simple rules.

First you need to define what self-esteem is and how it is formed. In psychology, this quality is considered as a subjective attitude towards one’s own personal qualities. Most often, self-esteem is formed in childhood, and it is largely influenced by the attitude of others, in particular, significant adults (parents). However, in later life it can change. So, if a person is surrounded by negative colleagues or acquaintances who constantly criticize him, then, as a result, his self-esteem may decrease.

You can try to take a simple test and rate yourself overall on a 10-point scale. Most people give themselves 5-6 points, and this is an average result. But you need to take into account that such an answer indicates that you view yourself half positively and equally negatively. Increasing self-esteem is an indispensable condition for achieving success. After all, only in this way does a person have the opportunity not to be afraid of difficulties and to believe in a positive outcome of the matter.

Psychologists recommend working on yourself and doing exercises to increase self-esteem, of which there are quite a few offered. So, you should never focus only on the opinions of others. Of course, it is important, but not as much as you think. The behavior of acquaintances who constantly criticize your successes or achievements can be analyzed. You need to ask the question: “Why are they doing this (saying)?” It has been noted that many assert themselves and raise their self-esteem by humiliating others. If this is the main reason, such people should be ignored or completely excluded from communication.

Also, increasing self-esteem depends on your own results. You can sketch out a plan for yourself of what you plan to achieve and begin to implement it. At the same time, you should not immediately set yourself the goal of becoming an Olympic champion or Nobel laureate. What is planned must be realistically feasible. If for some reason you have not achieved success in something, do not be upset. Analyze the situation. Is this only your fault? Maybe external circumstances also played a role?

Ways to increase self-esteem can be such as using short belief phrases (affirmations). So, it is recommended to start your morning by saying the phrases: “I am successful,” “I will succeed,” etc. You should never make excuses to those around you. This helps you feel even more. Another key to success is harmonious relationships with loved ones. You need to remember that there will always be someone who will help you in difficult times, which means you are strong enough to survive failures and try again.

In order for increasing self-esteem to be effective, you need to constantly work on yourself. You can do what you love, let it be your main activity or hobby. Almost every person's confidence increases when he knows that he does something better than others. And one of the main rules is to act, because only in movement, with the help of trial and error, can you achieve any results.

Having high self-esteem is, of course, good, but achieving it is not so easy. Part of the problem is that this indicator is unstable: one day it can skyrocket, and the next it can drop to nowhere. The situation is even more complicated when we try to evaluate ourselves in specific areas of life (family, sports, work). For example, if dinner is not tasty enough, a chef will be much more upset than a person for whom cooking is not an important aspect of his identity.

It is important to know when to stop: high self-esteem can make a person very vulnerable. He will feel great most of the time, but any criticism will cause a strong reaction. And this greatly inhibits a person’s psychological development.

If you are still very far from such problems and would like to increase your own self-esteem, then follow our advice.

1. Use affirmations correctly

Self-hypnosis formulas are very popular, but they have a significant drawback. They often make people with low self-esteem feel even worse. Why? When self-esteem is low, statements like “I will be a huge success!” strongly contradict a person’s inner beliefs.

Oddly enough, affirmations most often work for people who already have good self-esteem.

But how can you make them work for you if your self-esteem leaves much to be desired? Pronounce more believable formulas. For example, instead of “I will achieve great success!” Tell yourself, “I will try my best until I achieve what I want.”

2. Identify your areas of expertise and develop them

Self-esteem is based on actual achievements in those areas of life that are important to you. If you feel proud of yourself when you cook a delicious dinner, invite guests over often and treat them to something delicious. If you are a good runner, apply for and train for a competition. Determine what areas you are competent in and look for opportunities to highlight them.

3. Learn to accept compliments

People with low self-esteem desperately need compliments, but at the same time do not know how to respond to them correctly.

Accept compliments even if they make you feel awkward.

The best way to avoid the knee-jerk reaction of denying all the good things people say about you is to prepare a simple set of responses and practice saying them automatically every time you receive a compliment. For example, say “Thank you!” or “That’s so nice of you.” Over time, the desire to deny compliments will disappear, and this is a clear indicator that your self-esteem is rising.

4. Stop criticizing yourself, be gentler

If you constantly criticize yourself, your self-esteem becomes even lower. To regain self-esteem, you need to replace criticism with self-compassion.

Every time you are unhappy with yourself, ask yourself what you would say to your best friend in that situation. As a rule, we feel more compassion for our friends than for ourselves. But if you learn to encourage yourself in difficult circumstances, you can avoid lowering your self-esteem due to a critical attitude.

5. Convince yourself of your worth.

The following exercise will help you restore your self-esteem after it has been severely damaged.

Make a list of your qualities that are important in the context of the situation. For example, if you are refused a date, make a list of qualities that will help you create a good relationship in the long term (tolerance, caring, emotionality). If you were unable to get a promotion at work, indicate the traits that make you a valuable employee (responsibility, hard work, creativity). Then select one of the items on the list and briefly explain why you are proud of this quality and why it will be appreciated by others in the future.

Try this exercise once a week or whenever you need a boost to your self-esteem.

What to do if you feel unworthy, ugly, boring? And many, many more negative adjectives. It is important to look inside yourself and want to fix it all. How to raise self-esteem for a girl, woman, teenager?

Perfect balance

Good and adequate self-esteem consists of 2 components: autonomy and adequacy. It is important to find balance in this so that every day, hour and minute you can be in harmony with yourself.

Autonomy

The first component is autonomy. Usually a girl knows everything about herself: who she is, what she can do, what kind of specialist she is, she knows her desires and goals. And even if the world, friends, colleagues and relatives turn 180 degrees away from her, she is always confident in her position in life. Autonomous self-esteem does not depend on critics, advisers, other people's experience, or any external stimuli.

Examples

Wrong:

• Mom, dad, I want to fly to Paris with my friends for the weekend.
• Oh no, what are you talking about! This is an unknown country. You will get lost there/your money will be stolen/you will be attacked by aliens.
• Well, yes. Then I won't fly to Paris.

Right:

• Mom, dad, I'm still flying to Paris. I have great friends. I know the language well, I know how to approach people. I know I can.

Adequacy

How to increase a girl's self-esteem and self-confidence? Your self-esteem should be adequate. You must evaluate yourself the way the world around you evaluates you.

If you dream of singing, but one of your friends told you not to do it, then don’t stop, this is just one opinion. But if a large group of authoritative people who understand music tell you something like this, then you should think about it. There is a possibility that your self-esteem is inadequate. And maybe you need to discover some other talent in yourself.

Although... that didn't stop me. And the girl rushes ahead. By the way, she is a good example of high self-esteem. A girl who has raised her importance and is making millions from it.

Never criticize yourself out loud in front of other people. There is a high probability of convincing them of this.

There is such a misconception among people: they think that their self-esteem will increase only when they lose weight, when they receive an Oscar or become a top manager at Gazprom. It's a delusion. You need to have adequate self-esteem here and now. It grows from within. And only to such people who know their importance, what they ask for comes.‼

Looking for reasons

Before we tell you how to raise a girl’s self-esteem, it is important to identify the causes of this condition. What led to the fact that you are forced to fight with yourself every day and overpower yourself?

Everything comes from childhood

This is such a hackneyed phrase that many do not pay attention to it and ignore it. Despite all its intrusiveness, in most cases all problems come from childhood.

If you had a happy childhood and you think that your problem definitely does not lie in your family, then just skip this point.

It is impossible to identify one reason for all, so we tried to collect some phrases that could be heard in one interpretation or another from the lips of your relatives:

• What a pest you are! You broke the TV / iron / do not put toys in place / do not clean up after yourself, etc.
• Oh, you can never lose weight! No one in our family has ever lost weight. It's all genes.
• Look how good Yegor is doing, and you have ... hands-hooks.
• Well, what do you have there? Drawing? Yes, some kalyaki-malyaki, stay. Not up to you now.
• You don't have to go there, don't even think about it. Pirates will pick you up and take you to the Caribbean!
• Well, the standard: “But the son of my mother’s friend is already sitting in the government and making laws. And what have you achieved, elf of the 80th level? But Natasha, Aunt Lyuba’s daughter, has already gotten married, given birth to triplets and has taken out a mortgage on her apartment. Well, the truth is already divorced, but this is not so important.

All of this can also include hypo- and hyper-custody, when a child runs around on his own or a parent is too protective of his child.

The tomatoes have wilted

Quite often, the reason for low self-esteem is our dearest and closest (once) person. If you start a relationship with an unconscious and unfulfilled person in life, then he will throw out all his mistakes on you.

Your shortcomings bother you because you attach excessive importance to them.

As soon as his fantasies, which he created in his head, do not coincide with reality and with your behavior, he will immediately be dissatisfied. Your partner will label you as something different. This gives rise to a huge number of complexes, because you understand that your dearest person is telling you this.

Have a nice day, everyone

Social networks and #luxurious life– these are now the main factors that can significantly reduce a person’s self-esteem. You get up in the morning, scroll through your feed and see that yesterday Lyuska said that she couldn’t lend you 1000 rubles because she doesn’t have any money herself. And today she has already posted photos from Cyprus, where she wishes everyone #GM. And many people who have some merits rate themselves very low.

Practices and techniques

How to raise self-esteem for a girl at 16 years old, at 25 years old, at 35 years old, at 40 years old? We have put together some tips for you that will help you become stronger and find yourself. You can use everything at once or just one.

Enjoy your victories

You should always start small. Keep a diary or notepad, notes in your phone will do. And every day write down your achievements, good deeds and note your positive qualities:

• I took the little kitten from the tree;
• I can wash all the dishes in 20 minutes and a frying pan too;
• found the strength to get out of bed and go to school;
• I can last 3 hours without cigarettes;
• I can eat 1500 calories to lose weight;
• I may not respond to my ex’s messages, no matter how offended I may be;
• Today I was offended by a classmate, but I was able to remain silent and adequately respond to this problem.

Try to turn everything that happens to you into advantages. If you do this technique for at least a week, you will be very surprised how much good is hidden in you. How much more can come out?

Hidden gift

In your notebook, you can write down your goals. What exactly do you want? A house, a car, a family, a vacation in the Maldives, a new iPhone... What’s stopping you from getting all this? What beliefs and blocks? But the answer to this question should be short.

• What do I want?
• Meet a status and wealthy man?
• What's stopping me?
• I `m ugly.

• What do I want?
• New phone.
• What's stopping you?
• I earn little.

As you say these phrases, you should ask yourself: Where does this belief live? How does it make me feel? Next, you need to dive your inner gaze, inside yourself, and see how exactly it lives there? What is this? Swamp? Damp hole? A dark room? Sludge? Everyone has their own association.

Try to describe this place as best you can. Just don't get distracted. Dive to the very bottom. After a couple of minutes, you should knock on the bottom and the second bottom will open. Free yourself from this state completely.

How can a girl increase her self-esteem with the help of affirmations? After the work done, write down on paper your antipodean qualities:

• Was: I `m ugly. Became: I am beautiful, I am worthy of love.
• Was: I'm irritable. Became: I react adequately and calmly to any things.

Learn to accept compliments from others. Never give them up.

Unearth your hidden gift that lies at the root of your flaw. Visualize and visualize yourself making these positive achievements as you step from your right to your left foot. You can also say motivating phrases before some extreme actions: skydiving or diving. These techniques will help “anchor” beliefs in your mind.

Custom stickers

How to increase a girl's self-esteem? Once you have collected your cool qualities, try to draw your own symbol in this state, which will reflect your positive aspects. It could be a heart, a star, your zodiac sign, a unicorn, a princess, a crown, whatever.

Make 20-30 of these stickers and simply place them throughout the room. Once you see them, you will be reminded of your positive aspects or goals. They will definitely play a role in your development.

Facing fear

How to raise the self-esteem of a teenage girl and a creepy introvert? Even if you are the most introverted introvert in the world, face your fear. Start an Instagram, post your selfies, your looks, your food, share your music. It's crazy hard to do, but encourage yourself to do public speaking. In adequate quantities. Let them admire you, let them evaluate you.

Turn your problems into dust. Reduce their importance.

Greetings, friends!

If you are now thinking about how to increase your self-esteem, then you are the creator of your own life. Having realized the problem, you did not come to terms with it and did not put it off “for later”, but now look for ways to solve it and are ready to work hard. I am proud of you.

Your attitude, as well as our most effective tips for increasing self-esteem, carefully collected in this article, will help solve this problem once and for all. Only I ask you not just to read the article, but put into practice at least some of the recommendations available here, and you will very quickly be able to feel positive changes in terms of self-esteem. Well, are you ready? Then we start in order.

What is self-esteem?

This term is usually called general human perception own abilities, capabilities and personal qualities. It does not always exactly coincide with real possibilities, but often becomes the main factor in life success. Therefore, any person experiencing problems with self-esteem must work to improve it properly.

Self-esteem performs several important functions, the main ones being:

• protection – internal autonomy, the ability to form one’s own opinion and not be influenced by others;
• regulation – the ability to make informed personal choices;
• development – ​​the desire for self-improvement.

It is important to understand that low self-esteem is formed in a person not only because of real shortcomings. She is influenced by the opinions of others (from immediate relatives to colleagues and comrades). If it is underestimated, the person spends an excessive amount of energy for doubts does not take on ambitious projects, does not believe in himself. If it is too high, there is a risk of making mistakes, since excessive self-confidence causes a person to lose caution. To understand how to increase self-esteem, you need to understand how it is formed and what factors influence it.

How self-esteem is formed

The ability to adequately assess one’s own strengths and weaknesses is formed in a person from childhood. Excessive demands and strictness of parents or neglectful attitude of friends can have long-lasting consequences. As a result, a person grows up, gets an education, gets a job and starts a family, and the need to constantly prove something to those around him persists and negatively affects the quality of life.

Friends and loved ones also continuously influence self-esteem - a dear person can instantly raise it or lower it. Criticism directed at oneself is especially painful, inevitably decreasing self-confidence(both in the short term and in the long term). In addition, we ourselves often become the source of uncertainty. By focusing on failure, we come to disappointing conclusions and engage in self-criticism, reducing our own initiative.

An equally common source of low self-esteem is negative experiences from childhood or a consequence of psychological problems Initially, it is formed due to certain characteristics of upbringing and norms of behavior imposed on the child by the parents. Further, perceptions of one’s own attractiveness, athletic success and various abilities are added. All events that occur that force a person to rethink his own value affect his self-esteem. And from a certain moment it begins to play a decisive role in life, forcing a person to give up ambitions. To overcome this vicious cycle, you need to actively work on improving your self-esteem. Let's continue.

How to determine that self-esteem is low?

Typically, the following character traits indicate the need to work on improving self-esteem:

• excessive self-criticism when making harmless mistakes;
• fear of mistakes and constant worry over little things;
• increased sensitivity to other people's opinions about oneself;
• unreasonable jealousy due to lack of self-confidence;
• envy of successful people;
• constant search for excuses;
• pessimism and negative perception of events.

Even one of the listed character traits indicates a noticeable lack of self-confidence. If you find several items from this list, you urgently need to increase your self-esteem in all available ways.

Why does self-esteem decrease?

Before we start working on increasing self-esteem, let's understand the main reasons that provoke its decline. As they say, forewarned is forearmed. What are these factors?

One of the main reasons for the decline in self-esteem in modern life is the tendency to “self-examination.” A person constantly analyzes his failures, compares himself to other people. He chooses smart, successful and attractive people as role models. And comparing himself with them, he begins to consider himself a failure. Of course, the habit of comparing yourself with more successful peers can help some people and increase their productivity. But for most it turns around a huge blow to one's self-esteem.

For girls and women, the most important factor that can lower or increase self-esteem is appearance. The situation has become especially worse in our time. If yesterday beautiful, almost perfect faces looked at us only from glossy pages, today they are on every social network profile. This has a negative effect on many girls. And even the opportunity to publish your own photo, “photoshopped” to perfection, does not correct this situation.

There is another factor that almost everyone has been exposed to. This experience of defeat. When faced with a strong failure, a person becomes fixated on the situation. He replays the unpleasant event over and over again in his thoughts, figuring out what he should have done to avoid failure. Do you know this feeling? Literally stuck in the past, a person loses control over the present and future.

There are other factors as well. For example, communicating with people seeking increase your own self-esteem at someone else's expense. Perfectionism, which inevitably increases the fear of failure, is also a bad help. We have listed the most noticeable reasons, in fact there are many more, but let’s not waste time. Let's move on to the main part of our article.

Simple ways to increase self-esteem

As mentioned earlier, self-esteem can and should be influenced. Of course, you will have to work hard, but believe me, the result is worth it. Harmonious self-esteem makes a person more confident, positive and, most importantly, happy. Well, are you ready to work on your self-esteem? Then let's get started. Here's our plan:

Find the root of the problem

Low self-esteem is not genetically embedded in us - it develops under the influence of external factors. To understand how to increase it, you need to figure out what caused the problem. For example, if problems with self-perception are associated with excess weight, you need to remember when the disturbing thoughts associated with this first arose. Perhaps one of your friends joked about this topic, and it was unpleasant for you? In any case, all further work will be much more effective when you clearly understand the reason for low self-esteem and the moment when you lost self-confidence.

Get rid of self-criticism

All people make mistakes, and it is not at all necessary to reproach yourself for every failure. Getting rid of self-criticism will give you several benefits in life:

1. Energy that was previously spent on self-flagellation will be released;
2. You will learn to accept yourself and be able to focus on achieving your goals;
3. The strengths of your personality will emerge and come to the fore.

By learning to deal with failures creatively and without self-blame, you can benefit from them. This will be a valuable experience, and in some cases you can even turn the mistake to your advantage.

What is needed for this? First, no matter how bad the situation gets, remember - it could have been much worse. And everything turned out not in the worst way only thanks to your efforts and experience. Also, think about how many people in your position would not be able to learn a valuable lesson from the current situation because they lack the strength of character but you can. Do this and gain a sense of self-respect for yourself, because failures will no longer break you, but will only make you stronger.

In addition to self-criticism, it is important to be able to firmly respond to criticism from others. We have already covered this important topic in detail, so we move on.

Learn to see failure as an important learning experience.

As we have already said, failures can take a big toll on self-esteem. But let's agree once and for all: every painful mistake is a valuable life lesson. Analyze it. Be sure to think about what to do to avoid similar mistakes in the future, how you can use the experience gained and what benefits can be derived.

Try to look at yourself from the outside, as you would look at a dear person who finds himself in a similar situation. You wouldn't blame him, would you? This means you shouldn’t blame yourself.

Keep a success diary

A success journal is a must-have tool for anyone looking to improve their self-esteem. Having lost confidence in himself, a person automatically begins to attach maximum importance to his own mistakes, ignoring successes and praise. It's time to reverse this trend. Start writing down your own achievements, praise from others, and things you yourself are satisfied with. Learn more about how to keep a success diary.

Praise yourself more often

Self-criticism and self-examination are bad habits. So why not supplant them with a useful habit - the ability to praise yourself for small victories? Just notice each of your successes and analyze which character trait helped you achieve it. This method will help not only increase self-esteem, but also develop useful abilities that make you more successful.

But we are not talking about banal praise, in the spirit of “you did great.” For this to have an effect, you need to try to regularly analyze the actions you perform. For example, let's say you set a goal to start getting up a little earlier every day. And so, the next day You did it. Think about the fact that thousands of people on this planet cannot train themselves to get up earlier for years, but you were able to do it in one day. Yes, you are a hero, you can safely be proud of yourself! Make it a habit to analyze your achievements regularly in this way - think about how strong in spirit you really are and how much you can do.

Learn to say “NO!”

Low self-esteem and submissive reliability are linked by a mutual cause-and-effect relationship. who put their interests above yours. Becoming firm and answering “No!” to unwanted offers, you will automatically increase your own self-esteem. You will begin to respect yourself more, realize that you know how to defend your boundaries, and this is the foundation of a harmonious personality.

Create a positive environment for yourself

Avoiding negative people is recommended for a reason. They notice every unpleasant little thing and remind you of it. Try to surround yourself with positive people who prefer to notice the good. Of course, it is not always possible to follow this advice, since a close relative may turn out to be “negative.” In this case, regularly remind him that you do not want negativity to be present in communication. Let him learn to control himself. Don’t be afraid to tell people what they may not like to hear, be afraid to hush up such things.

Play some sports

It is not necessary to exhaust yourself with workouts in the gym. A daily 20-minute jog or an hour-long walk will significantly improve your tone and improve your mood. Don't be afraid to spend time on sports. Any person who gets carried away by regular jogging or other exercise quickly notices that they have even more free time. The secret is that sport gives a powerful boost of energy, helping you do everything faster.

Get out of your "comfort zone"

Under the weight of problems, a person becomes dependent on his own weaknesses, which give him a feeling of comfort. Sweets, baked goods, TV series, games, alcohol and other methods of self-comfort help to briefly escape from problems into a cozy inner world. That's just the problem at this time are not resolved, but only accumulated. Subconsciously, a person realizes that he is hiding from reality, so his self-esteem inevitably decreases. And there is only one way to quickly and effectively increase it - and begin to actively solve the accumulated problems.

Start using affirmations

Positive affirmations are a technique from psychology that can increase self-esteem even for a person who considers himself the ultimate loser. These are small statements containing positive attitudes in the style of “I am strong enough to achieve everything I want!” You can find them in text form or in audio recording. Read them out loud, memorize them, listen while you run. These settings are remembered, and gradually you will begin to remember them in any life situation when it is needed.

What will work on self-esteem give?

Well, my friends, I hope you have already begun to put into practice the knowledge you have acquired, or you will definitely try to do this in the near future. In order for you to definitely succeed in increasing your self-esteem, let’s consolidate your motivation and consider what qualities a person with positive self-esteem has:

• confident in one's own abilities;
• knows his strengths and uses them;
• knows his weaknesses and accepts them;
• does not look for excuses for his actions;
• does not need the approval of others;
• immune to criticism;
• does not judge people by appearance;
• does not experience unnecessary anxiety or stress because he is confident in himself.

This is only a partial list of what qualities a person has who has worked on improving self-esteem. In my opinion, it’s worth it to grow and develop in this direction, don’t you agree?

Conclusion

My friends, of course, there is no single recipe for increasing self-esteem that would suit absolutely everyone. But after carefully studying the recommendations in this article, you will surely find a technique that will be effective for you. Believe in yourself as much as I believe in you.