The child is entering a difficult period both physically and emotionally. Body changes occur, adult features are formed, metabolism is rebuilt, which leads to emotional instability and vulnerability. Parents need to show a lot of patience and understanding to their children during this period.

Entering the early phase of puberty is easy for the child himself. Changes in the body, some clumsiness and angularity lead to the child experiencing complexes. Hence the tightness, embarrassment, changes in behavior, and even outbursts of anger and aggression. At this age, children move away from their parents and become more and more independent. However, even without admitting it, at 11 years old children still need support, approval and advice from their parents.

At this age, thinking, intellectual abilities, logic and abstract thinking actively develop. Children are quite capable of planning their affairs and calculating their actions, and understand the consequences arising from them. Nowadays, social interaction is important for children; what comes first is not academic success, but the opinion of the child and his abilities from the team and others. Gradually, interest in the opposite sex also appears, although contacts are still more active with children of the same sex.

Features of raising children at 11 years old

Now the child cares about public approval and his hard work is at its peak.

At this age, it is important to instill a love of work and helping others, to develop talents, culinary abilities, and a passion for needlework. In raising a girl, first of all, you need to pay attention to everyday issues - the need for all possible assistance to adults, maintaining order and caring for younger children and animals. Equally important is the upbringing of high moral qualities in a girl. At this age, the time comes to talk about sex education, intimacy and the consequences of rash steps. It is important to become a girl’s friend so that she can trust you with the most delicate and serious secrets.

Boys are somewhat behind girls in development at puberty. Therefore, at this age they can still be passionate about cars and games, while girls are already thinking about love. However, it is important to know how to properly raise a boy of 11 years old in order to instill in him high moral qualities - responsibility, care for loved ones and the weaker, loyalty and honesty. Parents need to know that the basis of education is their own positive example of relationships in the family, between friends and colleagues. Children copy our behavior and attitude towards the world.

Psychology of 11-year-old children

Features of the psychology of children at this age are changes in appearance that coincide with character measurements. Sometimes children themselves cannot understand what is happening to them; aggression and cruelty can arise from self-doubt and internal experiences. In many ways, the psychology of an 11-year-old boy differs from that of a girl, since the timing of their development is not synchronous. During this period, girls experience nervousness, tearfulness and resentment associated with changes in appearance. While boys at this age add fuel to the fire by teasing girls and paying attention to their appearance, sticking offensive nicknames.

At this age, the desire for independence and making adult decisions begins, but you need to understand how independent an 11-year-old boy or a girl his age should be. Children of this age can easily be left alone at home, looking after the younger ones and doing simple housework. In addition to doing their homework independently, communicating on social networks, going for walks, and so on, children must take care of themselves completely - wash and iron their things, prepare simple food for themselves, maintain full body and hair hygiene, and provide first aid for minor injuries or cuts.

Symptoms of crisis in eleven-year-old children

In the period after about 10 years, a special age crisis is formed. It arises due to internal and external changes that form a special tension in the nervous system, which results in changes in behavior and relationships with family and friends. Often, the transitional age for boys at the age of 11 is manifested by problems in learning, disobedience, scandals and quarrels with parents. Girls are not far behind at this age; their behavior also leaves much to be desired; they try to prove their maturity through whims and hysterics. As a result, this leads to tension in relations with parents. You need to go through such a period by treating the child as tactfully and delicately as possible, becoming his friend and winning his trust. Then it will be easier for you to understand what is happening.

It is believed that an 11-year-old child has already entered early puberty. At this time, changes begin in his mental and physical state. Gradually, the child turns from a toddler into a teenager. A number of changes occur that affect the processes of thinking and communication. It is important for parents to take these features into account and be prepared for them.

Psychology of a child 11 years old

Let's consider the main changes that parents should focus on and coordinate tactics of behavior and communication with the child:

• Physiological changes.
  The first signs of puberty appear earlier in girls than in boys. That's why girls feel like they've grown up earlier. Parents, especially mothers, need to be ready to give advice and support the girl during a period of dramatic changes. The task of loved ones is to explain how to cope with new experiences and events.

• Suspension.
  The psychology of an 11-year-old child is determined by the desire to distance himself from the family. Children listen more to the opinions of their peers, they have new authorities. This hurts parents; they are not always able to accept the fact that their son or daughter’s friends know more about them than mom and dad. At this moment, it is important not to sort out the relationship with the child, from which he will distance himself even more, but to help him properly establish himself in society.

• Self-affirmation among peers.
  Starting from the age of 10-11, the role of peers and friends in a child’s life becomes more significant. Secrets, common affairs and topics for heart-to-heart conversations appear. However, sometimes the child’s close environment does not suit the parents, which also leads to conflicts and greater separation of children from their parents. It is important to follow the rule: do not prohibit, but guide. You should reasonably point out the negative aspects of the behavior of someone you don’t like so much and from whose influence you want to protect your child. Give examples from life, give the teenager the opportunity to analyze and draw conclusions himself. Of course, this will not happen immediately, but the child will eventually make the right decision.

• The struggle for a place in society.
  Raising 11-year-old children is a difficult process. To help a child assert himself among his peers, it is necessary to show by example how to behave and make decisions correctly. Another thing you should pay attention to is the formation of self-esteem in the child. In this case, parents can help the child by stimulating him. Celebrate his strengths, teach him to approach his shortcomings with humor. Help to follow fashion and technological progress. Encourage his successes and aspirations.

• Interest in the opposite sex increases.
  Against the background of hormonal changes, boys and girls become increasingly interested in the opposite sex. You should not be afraid of this, but you should not miss the moment and prepare your child for proper communication with the opposite sex.
  In order to comply with all the above rules and establish a trusting relationship with your child, it is important to be both a parent and a friend to the child. Then your grown-up baby will certainly follow your advice and take into account your opinion.

Thanks to everyone who responded to my thread and advised me (the idea was this: I wanted to braid my sides on vacation, creating the effect of shaved temples)..
I bought one strand (they are quite thick) on the Internet and....I couldn’t. And it’s not about weaving. And to the touch it infuriated me, the feeling of dead hair. In short, I couldn't wear it. I wove it for my daughter) my daughter is delighted))
So indeed, for young people, such things as artificial hair “come in” more easily)
Now I weave a different version for her every day. (We still have school) classmates are delighted)))

Here I have a daughter. In second grade. Not assiduous. Last year I wanted to play the piano. They explained that it was difficult and that you would have to study a lot. She said, of course, that she would. Well, okay, I passed the entrance exams to a music school. Has been going since September. Solfeggio works out well, the specialty doesn't work well - because he's too lazy to study. He doesn’t play every day, and if he plays, it’s not much. He says I don’t want to, it doesn’t work. Everything is stupid: the notes, the instrument, the teacher. If I don’t start insisting, he won’t sit down at the instrument at all. Now I understand that this is not the case. If this is the attitude, then we need to give up the music and that’s it. But, damn it, I feel so bad for the instrument I bought, for the time I spent all year taking her there three times a week. And in general, how can it be that it doesn’t work out, just throw your paws up and that’s it, don’t even try to achieve a result. I understand that you need to come to terms with everything, but it’s very difficult for me. And the most offensive thing is that this applies not only to music, but to everything - he doesn’t want to make any effort at all.

Given: me, husband, 7-year-old son and 2-year-old youngest daughter.
My son periodically suffers from jealousy, I try to fight it.
But: when my son was sent to kindergarten (2 years old), I, being a stupid hen of 25 years old, inspired him that he should not fight.
There was a reason - he started fighting with his friend, our neighbor. Mom, being a good friend of mine, threatened me with complaints from the manager, etc.

I was scared. There was no serious fight, but it was the complaints that scared me.

Today's story: we are visiting friends, they also have an eldest boy of 9 years old, and suddenly we hear our son crying sobbingly, and a demand for the eldest to apologize!
By the way, my son goes to fight, I realized my mistake, I convince him to fight back.
But along the way, the son grew up to be a tear washer.
My husband has already pecked. How to fix the situation...

Good day everyone) My son is 11 years old (5th grade). Starting somewhere in the 4th grade, the kids began to form cliques, who was friends with whom. My son says that he is friends with everyone, that everyone is his friend. But there was only one best friend, they visited each other, walked, sat together in class. But recently I began to notice that mine began to go straight home after school, but before I was always eager to go for a walk and was late for training because of hanging out with a friend. Today I asked why this was so - it turned out that my friend was now walking with a girl, and they asked me not to interfere, they say they have personal communication. I see that my son is offended and annoyed. I don't know what to advise him. The problem is that I myself don’t know how to make friends. I had a best friend at school, but she left me ugly, I was very worried. I don’t want to blame my crappy experience in this area on my son. I want him to have good friends. Please advise, especially those who have not had problems with communication and friendship. I don’t want to give my child advice from my loser perspective (not only my school friends, almost all my friends cheated me at different periods of my life).

Honestly. Sometimes I feel like I'm a chronic loser. You try, you flounder, but it turns out as always. The middle son is going to school this year. I was the first to write the application, and the first to pass the copybook. I attended a meeting, went to a first-grader school, chose a teacher, and visited the secretariat a hundred times. And today the call comes - you didn’t bring the documents, the classes are formed and your child doesn’t get in. HOW? How can this be? And most importantly, I can’t yell that I brought the documents. Having three children, I constantly carry photocopies somewhere. I just don’t remember if I took the necessary photocopies to school. But I know for sure that if they had told me about them, I would have stopped them right away. I'll go find out tomorrow. What if we don’t get there? What if you can’t do anything anymore? Senior in second grade at this school. This is for me to run around in different ways, and even before the pile of the third one goes into the garden. I'll howl now. Why am I so lucky?

Many experts believe that modern children achieve much earlier than past generations: not at 13–14, but from 11 to 13 years. What it means to “be a teenager” is clear to everyone, because every adult has gone through this period.

It is from 11 to 13 years of age that parents can still influence the formation of the child’s personality, character and habits. I am a Parent talks about how to prepare for the “most difficult age”.

Child development at 11–13 years old

Physical development of the child

The child's body begins to change rapidly. In girls this process occurs faster, in boys it is a little slower. The child may increase his height very sharply, and his body weight may either increase or decrease. Puberty begins. In some children, changes at the physiological level may begin earlier, in others - later. Due to the fact that the body has changed dramatically, the child’s coordination is impaired. Teenagers can be a little awkward because they are just getting used to their new look.

Intellectual development

A child at this age learns to argue, prove his point of view, and his abstract thinking develops more actively. However, teenagers often live for today. They don't think about the consequences of their actions. For example, they may try smoking, although they know how bad it is for their health. But the child does not think that these consequences will affect him.

Psychological development

Most often, the child is focused on communicating with his peers. Studying takes a backseat. In addition to communicating with friends, there may be a craving for the opposite sex. Friendship at this age is very expressive; any quarrel can destroy it. In general, the child may become more emotional. Or, on the contrary, “withdraw into yourself.”

From 11 to 13 years old, a child experiences many different changes. Of course, a growing person wants to be sure that everything is okay with him. Parents can tell many things themselves. Sometimes children ask questions on their own. But often moms and dads are afraid to go too far with unnecessary revelations. Therefore, the easiest way is to give a child a book that will write about the physiology of adolescents in simple language.

2. Watch your diet

During early adulthood, girls feel the need to be attractive to boys, and vice versa. But there are obstacles on the path to beauty - excess weight, acne. It is very important for a teenager to choose the right diet. You should make sure there is a large amount of vegetables and fruits in the refrigerator. But it is better to exclude baked goods, fried and spicy foods. In pursuit of the ideal weight, a teenager may begin to starve - this is best avoided.

3. Monitor your mood

A rapidly changing emotional environment under the pressure of hormones is an ideal environment for... Do not “brush off” your child’s problems, even if they seem trivial to you. At the same time, you should not take a teenager out for a heart-to-heart conversation.

Give the initiative to the child himself. In case of prolonged bad mood, pay more attention to him, spend the day off together. If a child walks around sullen for a long time, this may be a reason to contact.

Children between the ages of 11 and 13 tend to exaggerate their own problems. Any trifle can turn out to be a tragedy. Let your child understand that all his difficulties can be solved. Pick up some good books and movies about teenagers with positive endings.

If the feelings are strong, you and your child can write about how a child-like hero finds a way out of a difficult situation.

The site’s expert, clinical psychologist Ekaterina Blyukhterova, will tell you what the role of parents is in the process of gender self-identification and what films growing boys should watch.

5. Keep what you promise

It is common for a teenager to doubt everything. He perceives the world around him differently. In order to maintain the child's trust, adults need to monitor the fulfillment of their promises. Both punishments and rewards must be implemented within the time frame specified by the parents. This applies not only to the “mother-father-child” triangle, but also to the parents themselves and relationships within the family.

6. Take an interest in your child's life

Parents of a teenager should be interested not only in grades at school, but also in other matters that concern the child - relationships with friends, teachers, his first love. You should not force a frank conversation on your child, and then, having learned something that does not characterize the teenager from the best side, scold him. Appreciate any confidential conversation with your child. If he talks about something, it's really important.

7. Let your child make decisions

The greatest talent of a parent is the ability to start letting go of their child in time. Of course, children from 11 to 13 years old still require care and control. However, there are decisions that a teenager must make on his own. After all, it is at this age that the child’s personality is formed. Allow the student to choose his own clothes, decorate the interior of his room, listen to his opinion.

8. Maintain a sleep schedule

Teenagers need eight to nine hours of sleep. Without observing a sleep schedule, it is impossible to study and perform physical activity in the amount that occurs at this age. The teenager himself may not understand this. In order to avoid conflict, it is worth identifying it within the family. One of them is “lights out” time. It is important that parents also follow this rule. The words “we are adults, and you must obey” will only widen the gap between parents and child.

9. Prevent bad habits

Unfortunately, smoking, drug addiction and substance abuse in Russia are constantly getting younger. Children often try a cigarette or psychoactive substances for the first time at the age of 12–13.

You shouldn’t start suspecting a child out of nowhere. There is no need to swear and scare with dire consequences. All conversations on “sensitive” topics should be balanced and take place at moments when both parents and child are calm and emotionally relaxed.

10. Don't stop showing your love

Of course, a teenager must realize that as he grows up, his responsibility increases. But this is not a reason for parents to distance themselves from their child. Parents can call the student affectionately, as before, and unobtrusively show their concern. A teenager needs love no less than small children. Often it is this love that serves as a reliable support that allows a child to confront problems, temptations and grow into a confident adult.

Elena Kononova

We can say that by the age of nine, the child has finally said goodbye to the role of a baby, he has grown and matured. The development of a child at 9 years of age and beyond refers to the teenage period, when personality is actively being formed and physiological changes in the body rapidly occur. The development of a child at the age of 9 is characterized by the fact that he has become not only more balanced, but also responsible, he is well versed in many issues and understands more. The development of an 11-year-old child is characterized by the fact that the teenager actively begins to explain and defend his own point of view, his opinion prevails over the opinions of others and seems to be the only correct one. Also developing, a 12-year-old child “wins” personal space and asserts himself. In order for a child’s development at 10 years old and throughout adolescence to proceed painlessly and correctly, parents should understand the changes occurring in the body and mind of their child and be able to adapt to them in a timely manner.

Physiological development of a teenager

Despite the early development of the modern young generation, the period of puberty is still usually attributed to 10-13 years. The physiological development of a child at 9 years old usually proceeds without any pronounced metamorphoses. But a child of 10-12 years old usually already enters the stage of teenage changes, which affect not only the body, but character and self-awareness. For some children, this period passes painlessly, while others experience a lot of anxiety and difficulties. Since it will not be possible to avoid this “restructuring of the body,” programmed by nature, it is important to be aware of its features. After all, many children cannot understand their condition and what is happening, and therefore at this stage parents should provide help.

• Development of a 10 year old child. A ten-year-old child is just entering adolescence. In girls, physiological changes in the body usually occur earlier and faster than in boys. In most cases, hormonal changes are accompanied by a sharp change in emotions, the emergence of a pronounced interest in the opposite sex, and the active formation of intersexual relationships. With the onset of puberty, the sex hormone enters the bloodstream intensively.
• Development of an 11 year old child. Around the age of 11, girls begin to gain weight, while boys do not yet experience significant changes in weight. Often at this age, the first signs of personal changes appear: the child becomes hot-tempered and moves away from his parents.
• Development of a 12 year old child. The development of secondary sexual characteristics and redistribution of body fat occurs. In boys, the size of the testicles sharply increases, the voice breaks, hair appears in the intimate areas, and nocturnal emissions occur. Girls also develop hair in the intimate area, their breasts grow, and their figure becomes more contoured. The main authority for a child at this age is their peers; teenagers’ interest in learning decreases, and values ​​and hobbies may change. A child can join a youth subculture. This age period is a preparatory stage for social and sexual relations, so parents should discuss topics that concern the teenager and simply talk casually about family, interpersonal and sexual relationships.
• Development of a 13 year old child. During this period, the so-called growth spurt occurs, when the teenager quickly stretches out. Body weight continues to increase, boys can weigh from 38 to 50 kg, and girls 43-52 kg. Boys gain muscle mass, while girls continue to develop a feminine figure.

What can parents do for the proper development of a child of 10 years old and throughout adolescence? Firstly, parents are required to understand and maintain a friendly tone of communication. You need to continue talking with the child, and not lecture, but conduct a dialogue, talking when the child is open to communication. It is important not only to discuss the differences between men and women and discuss the nuances of intergender relations, but also to show the child various aspects of social relations. Feel free to discuss sexual aspects, impulses and attractions with your child, helping him understand himself. If a child does not want to have frank conversations, you can offer him high-quality literature and films on this topic. It is important for parents to understand that during this period the child is actively learning about himself and trying to build new relationships with others; he should be helped to find harmony between his own and the public.

Psychological development of a child 10 years old and 11-13 years old

By the age of ten, the child looks truly matured, and by the age of 12-13, the formation of the child’s personality is almost completely completed. During this period, it is important to maintain the connection between parents and children, since it is at this time that it is the weakest and most fragile, because the child is ready to listen to anyone, just not his parents.

The development of a 10-year-old child is characterized by increased communication skills and independence. The child easily makes acquaintances, feels comfortable in the company of peers, and spends a lot of time with friends. All attempts to reduce the child’s communication will be met with indignation, so prohibitions will not help here. Express your requests and wishes not in the form of an ultimatum, but in the form of friendly advice or a statement of fact.

For the correct psychological development of an 11-year-old child, it is necessary to provide him with a greater degree of freedom. For example, you can send him to a good pioneer camp, where he can relax safely without parental control.

The psychological development of a 12-year-old child is characterized by distance from his parents; the teenager tries to “fence himself out” from others. During this period, it is important to loosen control, but in no case remove it. You should talk to your child using the method of negotiating and reaching compromises.

The development of a 13-year-old child refers to a period of greater psychological stability; the teenager has already formed basic values ​​and views on life, he has his own beliefs and is ready to take into account the opinions of loved ones. Understanding the developmental characteristics of a 13-year-old child, it is important for parents to treat him as an equal, taking into account his opinion and wishes, but still continue to follow the rules established in the family and raise the child.