We have probably all noticed that some people, when the most minor difficulties arise, begin to behave as if a terrible disaster had occurred. The disparity in their response to the current situation seems strange and can be frightening. And that’s right - you can expect anything from such people.

They don't control their emotions, can start conflicts out of nowhere and show aggression. Sometimes this can be dangerous to others, so it is important to learn to recognize such people. They have different characteristics:

• tense and frozen facial expression
• lack of naturalness and spontaneity in behavior
• nervous movements and twitches of the body
• irritability and nervousness in any situation
• loud conversation

Strange as it may seem, this happens to almost every person - everyone has difficult moments in life. We must learn to cope with such conditions.

How can you calm down?

Use physical activity

The best way - take your mind off the situation. A radical change in the direction of our activities helps very well. Simply put, “load” yourself with physical activity. Sports exercises will help relieve excess nervousness, which you have become too much of:

• beat the punching bag
• ride a bike
• run
• Work out on exercise machines or with dumbbells.

Not only will you be distracted, change the direction of your energy, but you will also simply spend time usefully :) If you do this regularly, your nerves will calm down! Many people like to use meditation techniques, but this must be learned.

The simplest meditation technique to control emotions.

Find a quiet and peaceful place, sit comfortably (preferably in the lotus position or on a chair with a straight back) - nothing should stop you and distract.

1. Relax your shoulders, but keep your back straight and your head up. Focus on a point in the room.
2. Breathe through your nose, try to relax as many muscles as possible. Try to use your stomach to inhale.
3. Count to 10 with each breath - don't rush. Focus on this, try not to think about anything else.

In general, if we talk about how to breathe: calm breathing reduces the oxygen saturation of the blood and helps to calm down, while active breathing, on the contrary, invigorates us and tones us.

Pets are a great stress reliever

Everyone knows that animals are great for helping to cope with anxiety and excessive emotionality. However, almost no one uses this in life.

If you have a pet, play with it and caress it. It’s nice for him, and it’s good for you. That's exactly why you got the animal! You can even talk, no one will laugh at it;) And, be sure to think about something pleasant!

Self-control

A very useful and important skill is one’s own state. This is not difficult to learn. Just listen to yourself:

• How and what do you say - intonation, tempo, tone?
• How calm and measured are your body movements?
• Do you control your facial expressions?

If something goes wrong, stop and start doing it right. The calmer you act, the calmer you actually become.

Our body helps us control our emotions. If you can’t do everything at once, then learn to feel yourself gradually and don’t rush anywhere.

Don't beat yourself up

Everyone has probably noticed that it is very common for us to replay what happened over and over again in our heads. And every time this leads to an outburst of negative emotions. No, don't do that. You shouldn’t tell everyone you know about what happened. This will prevent you from getting distracted and forgetting about what happened.

Better imagine what a calm and balanced person would do in your place. And if you are irritable on your own, write a list of what makes you angry on a piece of paper and try not to deal with it :)

Summary

Lead a healthy lifestyle, eat right and get enough sleep. Don't worry about trifles and spend your energy rationally.

Don't forget about exercise. If you feel like you are about to lose your temper, quickly exercise. You can use meditative techniques, or you can use it to calm your nerves. What questions do you have about your life? Ask in the comments :)

Sometimes life presents situations in which every little thing irritates: the husband doesn’t thank you for dinner, the children don’t want to pack up their toys, and the boss reprimands you for not completing a task on time...

Is it possible to get rid of superficial irritability and become self-confident? Psychologists assure that it is not only possible, but also necessary: ​​it makes life much easier and helps maintain peace and balance.

Why does a person lose his calm?

Having exploded once again over some trivial matter, the woman begins to think about how to be calm and not get nervous. They use sedatives, heart-to-heart conversations with a close friend, auto-training, and even loudly counting to ten in a critical situation. But the exhausted body demands its way and again a breakdown follows with ridiculous decisions dictated not by common sense, but by impulse and momentary emotions.

Each time, the loss of calm is repeated simply because there is no exact and only correct recipe for how to remain calm in any situation. Therefore, before looking for ways out of the current situation, it is worth understanding its causes. Why do some women lose their calm over trivial matters, while others can boast of iron restraint?

Among the most common reasons for loss of calm are:

• “Triggers”, that is, things, people or events that irritate us for reasons unknown to us: for example, a neighbor with a dog or rush hour on the subway.
• Prolonged depression, combined with hopelessness and anxiety, can cause irascibility.
• Chronic fatigue and lack of vitamins can also cause a loss of calm.
• The presence of physical discomfort: when a person is hungry or cold, even a minor reason is enough to make him angry.
• Presence of diseases: for example, with diabetes or thyroid diseases, increased irritability is often observed.

By identifying the cause of your irritation, you can solve it, rather than deal with the consequences of a temper that just signals, for example, fatigue or malaise.

FACT! During pregnancy, many women experience difficulties with balance and adequate reactions to familiar situations. Don't be afraid - it's just the effect of changing hormonal levels.

Calm, just calm!

Psychologists say with confidence: despite the fact that there is no universal method on how to become calm and not be nervous, every person can learn to remain calm in certain life situations.

• Change your perspective on familiar things. Look at the world through a positive lens: love yourself and those around you. Forgive yourself and others for minor mistakes and shortcomings, do not reproach or put pressure on them. Show patience and understanding, learn to stop your irritation. Before you worry, consider the appropriateness of this behavior: what will change and who will benefit from worrying.

• Change your behavior. If a stressful situation is inevitable, then you should change your reaction to it: try to restrain your negative reaction, model the development of the situation, avoid communicating with people who are prone to drama. Look at things through the eyes of a grandmother, wise from the life experience of a kind old woman.

• Relax. In any situation, it is important to try to remain calm. To do this, psychologists advise relaxing, and everyone does it in their own way: some listen to quiet music, some use aromatic oils, some meditate. Many women find children and animals to be a calming factor, so engage in therapeutic playtime with your baby and cat.

These simple and transparent tips for everyone will help you understand how to learn to be calm and make your dreams of balance come true.

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It's never too late to change your behavior and learn to calmly perceive the world and people around you. Only after a woman begins to look at the world calmly and balancedly does she understand how much peace means in life. Your peace of mind is the key to personal and family well-being, a friendly climate at work and strong friendships.

Learning how to be calm in any situation in the ocean of life is simply necessary. Problems rain down on the heads of the inhabitants of planet Earth as if from a cornucopia. Ecology, politics, social upheavals, economics, the psychological state of society as a whole and each individual individually - nowhere is there even a hint of stabilization of the situation.

Not everyone can isolate themselves from everyone with a high fence or go to a desert island - there simply aren’t enough islands and fences, but trying to become a self-confident and balanced person is possible for everyone.

Do I need this?

Holders of certain types of temperament initially possess this skill. It was born with them, and helps to maintain equanimity in all situations throughout life’s journey. We are talking about phlegmatic people who cannot be nervous, these unsinkable cruisers of calm and confidence. But, firstly, there are not so many pure types of temperament in nature, and, secondly, having mastered the techniques of how to learn to remain calm, you can teach this to your family and loved ones.

Those representatives of society should master techniques for regulating their internal state:

• who find it difficult to control emotions;
• who avoids difficult questions and difficult situations;
• to whom every little thing gets on your nerves;
• who are worried about upcoming difficulties, real or imagined;
• who dreams of always being a discreet person.

By starting this path, you can radically change your attitude towards yourself and life, make it more comfortable, not get nervous in stressful situations, and begin the path to personal development and managing your health.

Why you shouldn't be nervous

Maybe, well, this training on having calmness? Everyone is nervous, and somehow they survive, and some also manage to look great at the same time, build a career, defend dissertations, and start families. However, not everything is so rosy; there are many reasons why you shouldn’t be nervous.

• If you get nervous, you’ll lose control of the situation, and then whoever wants to take you with their bare hands.
• If you get nervous, family relationships in all verticals (husband-wife, children-parents, etc.) will suffer.
• If you get nervous, you will receive something like a boomerang effect from those around you, and your emotion will return to you, only in double the size. Do you need this?
• If you get nervous, you will get vasospasm, and everything that follows (migraine, atherosclerosis, stroke).
• If you get nervous, your body will begin to increase production of the hormone cortisol, which destroys brain cells and nitrogenous decomposition of muscles.

Should I scare you further or is that enough? Even one of the above reasons is enough to significantly worsen the quality of life of Homo sapiens (homosapiens). And since he is reasonable, then he needs to learn how to remain calm, be confident, and always remain a person in control of his emotions.

Learning to be calm

Before you start mastering techniques that allow you to experience and then return this blissful state at will, it is advisable to find a picture that will personify this calmness for you and place it in your immediate environment.

This could be wallpaper on your computer desktop, a wall calendar, a poster on the wall depicting a peaceful landscape, a sleeping child, sunsets and sunrises, a starry sky, in general, anything that will be a symbol of peace for you.

The following four techniques were proposed by the French psychologist E. Pigani, in order to artificially induce and consolidate a feeling of calm.

“Jar of Honey” - a technique for slowing down movements

You need to choose some routine action that you do every day “automatically,” quickly and without thinking. This could be cleaning the closet, washing dishes, taking a shower, making tea, or any other type of simple activity. Breathing slowly and deeply, you need to slow down your movements as much as possible.

Now attention is directed to every movement, to the feeling of contact with the object being used. To make it more believable, you can imagine yourself immersed in a huge jar of honey, and slow down your movements even more.

The purpose of this exercise is to stop being nervous, quickly recover in stressful situations, and feel your presence “here and now” with all the acuteness.

“Jar of Rice” - a technique for training patience

To do this, you need to count the grains of rice, transferring them from one glass to another. Have you recalculated? Write down how much you got, and then do everything in reverse order. The results, of course, should be the same. If you want to grumble, remember that in a Buddhist monastery you would be forced to number each grain of rice.

“Food Pot” - mindful eating

Attitudes towards food in the times of fast food and convenience foods, frozen desserts and ready-made meals from the supermarket have undergone significant changes compared to the beginning of the last century. However, the human body, both then and now, is able to send a signal of satiety to the brain only 20-30 minutes after the start of the action of digestive juices.

Start your first meal by eating slowly, chewing slowly, and slowly breaking off pieces of the served dish. You need to sit with a straight back and a straight neck, bring cutlery to your mouth slowly, and eat calmly. Signals of satiety will reach the brain on time, less food will be needed, a slim figure will be ensured along with the ability not to get irritated while eating.

“Empty Pot” - a technique for listening to silence

Every week you need to set aside five (just five!) minutes to listen to silence. Turn off all phones, TVs, computers, dim the lights. You need to sit comfortably, without tension, with your hands on your hips. The left hand rests on the right, the thumb of the right hand rests on the left palm, does not press on it, but simply lies there.

With your eyes closed, you need to focus on the sensations at the point where your finger touches your palm. In this position, listen to silence for five minutes. After two months, meetings with silence take place every day. During them you can think about good and evil. The feeling of how to remain calm will be consolidated over time, it can be easily evoked in order not to be nervous and to be balanced in any conflict situation.

Controlling negative emotions

Zen Buddhists believe that every negative emotion is a message that needs to be read and released. They compare negative emotions to fire and water, saying that it is easier to cope with a fire that has just started and a leaky faucet when you immediately begin to fix the problem. As always, this is easier said than done, however, there is technology here that helps put everything in order.

1. Make a list of the 14 most frequently experienced negative emotions (anxiety, shame, hatred, melancholy, envy, resentment, etc.).
2. Separate these emotions from your inner self. For example, not “I am jealous,” but “I feel jealous,” not “I am guilty,” but “I feel guilty,” continue according to the pattern.
3. Remember the most severe attack of anger, its cause, your feelings at the same time, physical sensations. Well, where is this anger now?
4. Let's return to the list from the first point. Now we need to determine what service each emotion served. “Anxiety helps you be alert.” “Embarrassment helps you adapt to strangers.”
5. In the future, if you feel an increase in negativity, try to determine how this emotion can be useful. Most likely, now, having realized this, you will no longer become her hostage.

Such an analysis requires some time and desire. This is not such a high price to pay for the opportunity to always be confident and not get irritated in any situation.

For every stress there is... an anti-stress

If you want to assess the level of stress in your life, you can use the “social conformity scale” of American psychologists T. Holmes and R. Rahe, who rated every event in the life of an average person on a 100-point scale. In first place there is the death of a spouse (100 points), and in last place are New Year's holidays (12 points) and minor violation of the law (11 points).

The sum of points is used to calculate the level of stress and (attention!) the risk of getting sick. We don’t need such problems - to help ourselves and not get irritated, we will do “Anti-stress” exercises.

Let's pretend

The exercise is effective at any level of stress. You need to feign calmness, this creates a feeling of relaxation, and after a few minutes real calm comes. Here you need to be a bit of an actor, convince yourself that you are playing the role of a calm person. The secret here is that our subconscious always takes everything at face value - by believing you, it influenced the external state.

Smile and yawn

Every psychology textbook gives an example of how, when smiling, 42 facial muscles send a signal to the nervous system, triggering the process of regulating breathing, releasing muscle tension, and releasing “happiness hormones.” It works even with a forced, forced smile, and instantly. The same effect is produced by a wide yawn, which prevents irritation and brings relaxation.

Let's understand the world around us

The best remedy for increasing stress is to maintain contact with your own Self. To achieve this, you need to observe what is happening as if from the outside, to act somewhat detached. You must not lose attention and control over the situation; tell yourself all your actions. When you leave the house, say to yourself: “I am leaving the house.” When you wash the dishes, say to yourself: “I am washing the dishes.” When you turn on your computer, say to yourself, “I’m turning on the computer.”

Do you think this is too primitive? But “everything ingenious is simple,” you just need to try and make sure of the effectiveness of simple tips that will help you always be confident in your peace of mind and not get irritated over trifles.

In our crazy world, it is almost impossible to always remain calm and balanced. Every day we become depressed and irritated by little things. This is a normal life process, because it is impossible to always be happy with everything. Women especially suffer from irritability and attacks of anger towards the whole world. Their frequent mood swings have many sources.

• Bad character. This is a purely genetic help for a permanent bad mood, nit-picking towards others and a sour face. It’s just genetically laid down in such a way that a person is simply not predisposed to violent manifestations of joy.
• Menstrual and premenstrual period. On such days, women are clearly not in the mood to joke and have fun. They often show aggression towards others, they can find fault, shout, and provoke conflict situations for no reason. It's all due to the hormones that are released during menstruation. They provoke irritability and sleep disturbances. And pain during menstruation only increases dissatisfaction and the desire to tell everyone to go to hell.
• Thyroid gland dysfunction. The thyroid gland also affects our emotional state. Due to its malfunction, the hormonal background of the whole body changes. This causes mood swings, excessive tearfulness and sentimentality. Therefore, every year it is necessary to consult an endocrinologist. He will examine the thyroid gland, direct you to undergo the necessary tests and prescribe the correct treatment if a pathology is found.
• Constant feeling of hunger. When women go on diets, they often starve themselves. Malnutrition is becoming one of the most common causes of female anger. When a person does not receive enough food, his emotional state deteriorates sharply. The body requires the necessary nutrients. And when he doesn’t receive them, he begins to protest with hysteria, nagging, poor health, and weakness.
• Irrational daily schedule. Daily routine also affects a woman's mood. If a woman does not know how to rationally organize her daily routine, she will always be late and will not cope with work assignments on time. Also, improper time management can lead to sleep disturbances. This all leads to constant deadlines, nervousness, panic fear of being late, not completing a task on time, or being reprimanded. Women often steal time from themselves to sleep. They sit until one in the morning, trying to finish home and work tasks. But then in the morning they are unable to get out of bed. Such a harmful rhythm of life threatens the syndrome of constant fatigue, troubles at work, decreased productivity, and nervousness. The most dire cases have to be treated at the clinical level, because a woman can easily have a nervous breakdown. Treatment is carried out both with medication and with the use of acupuncture, baths, massage, a special system of physical exercises, and hypnosis sessions.

How to overcome anger and irritability

The rhythm of life of a modern woman practically does not allow her to take serious care of her health and put her frayed nerves in order. The weaker sex diligently builds a career, raises children, takes care of the house and does more. Naturally, it is impossible to walk around cheerful and smiling all day. There are times when anger and irritation overflow, and it’s just a stone’s throw away.

At this critical moment, it is important to understand the cause of irritation and urgently take emergency measures to restore mental balance and calm frayed nerves. Here are some tips to help you come to your senses and calm down.

1. If the cause of anger lies in the menstrual period, it is important to create the most comfortable conditions for yourself. Firstly, it is better to redo all the difficult work in advance, so as not to push yourself into a deadline during your period. There should always be valerian in your purse. It is especially useful during menstruation, because it perfectly relieves nervous tension and pacifies pain in the abdominal area. Drinking frequently during menstruation is the key to good health. During this special period, clean water is especially important. If there is not enough fluid in the body, then headaches and cramps often occur, which cause irritability.
2. Chamomile tea is a real salvation for frayed nerves. Take 2-3 teaspoons of chamomile flowers per liter of boiling water and leave for 20 minutes. You can drink this tea throughout the day. Chamomile perfectly calms the nerves, gives peace of mind and ensures sound sleep.
3. A well-rested woman is a happy person. It is impossible to be joyful and healthy if you have 4-5 hours of sleep. On average, we need to sleep 7-8 hours. This time is enough for the nervous system to fully recover, and energy and tone to increase. It is advisable not to sleep on your stomach - this position is very harmful to your posture and worsens the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract. But it is precisely because of the discomfort in the stomach that we often cannot sleep, we toss and turn, and in the morning we wake up angry and offended by the whole world.
4. Clear planning of the day will protect you from... It is useful to plan your day hourly, allocating a certain amount of time to each task. For this purpose, it is useful to keep a diary, in which it is very convenient to record priority and secondary tasks. Then the woman’s risk of nervousness and hysteria over a task not completed on time is reduced.
5. Breathing practices will restore your emotional state and relieve obsessive thoughts and worries. Often we breathe incorrectly, in gusts, gulping air greedily. Learn to breathe correctly, and then there will be much less stress and irritation in your life. Spend 10-20 minutes on this activity in the evening before bed. Try to breathe deeply, do not rush to push the air out of your lungs, hold your breath for a couple of seconds. Only then exhale slowly and measuredly. Such breathing exercises are akin to yoga. They enrich the blood with oxygen, calm the flow of thoughts, and balance.

We are all worried about something. Someone is worried about a session, passing exams, or an upcoming promotion up the career ladder. Someone is concerned about their personal life or the political situation in the country, or the health of their children. We cannot be indifferent to everything. It’s just important not to go too far and not take out your anger and dissatisfaction on others. Women often fail to cope with this difficult task. It's all because of their excessiveness and vulnerability. But it is possible and necessary to fight attacks of anger and irritability. If you approach solving this problem comprehensively, you can very soon become calm and restrained and forget about anger and nervousness.

When I was a little younger, I had big goals and aspirations and a strong desire to achieve them every day of my life. In those days, my greatest desire was to live each day with dignity and peace of mind - to be equanimous and move peacefully from one task to another with concentration and calm, controlled energy.

Does everything seem simple? Probably no. But there are steps we can take to at least stay calm more often. Why be calm? Damn it because it feels fantastic! Anger and impatience wear on our hearts, our souls, and our families. When we control our emotions, we get more done, communicate better, and live more productive and purposeful lives.

1. Try not to be dramatic

It is very easy to dramatize and make mountains out of molehills. In any stressful situations, when the problem concerns you, do not give in to the impulse to exaggerate the negative. Avoid the words “always” and “when.” You may feel like Stuart Smalley, but telling yourself “I can handle this,” “It’s okay,” and “I’m stronger than this” can really help you look at the problem differently.

2. Think before sharing a problem.

Don't talk about, blog, or tweet about your problem. Don't discuss it with your friends right away; digest it yourself first, this will give you time to calm down a little. Sometimes, well-meaning friends are too sympathetic to you. This only adds fuel to the fire and makes you even more upset.

3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm.

Here's what helps me: I try to think of the problem as a node. The more I panic and pull at the ends, the tighter the knot gets. But when I focus completely, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time.

It also helps if you imagine yourself acting calm and focused. Stop shouting and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become the calm and calm person you see in your imagination.

Here's another trick: Do you know anyone who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place.

4. Identify the factors that drive you crazy

Are there certain situations that make you feel out of control? Identify specific factors - from the time of day to how busy (or bored) you are, to your blood sugar levels. Do you lose your temper when it's too loud - or too quiet? Knowing your personal triggers will help you stay calm throughout the day.

5. Realize that you can control your emotions.

Think back to times when you were able to successfully remain calm in a difficult situation. Perhaps it was when you wanted to yell at your spouse or children, but then the doorbell rang, and you were able to instantly change your mind. Remember that you can repeat this by knowing what irritates you and what can help you maintain peace of mind.

6. Create a calm environment with relaxing rituals

If calm music comforts you, take advantage of it. If silence calms you, take advantage of it. Maybe you'll play soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light some scented candles.

When you come home from work, take a few minutes to allow your mind to calm down before diving into family matters. Sit in your car for a couple of minutes and take a few deep breaths. Take off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another.

7. Take care of your immediate needs

Make sure that you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I become irritable when my blood sugar is low. However, all I have to do is eat something nutritious and I feel (relatively) better.

Also try do physical education. Daily workouts help relieve physical stress, which in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of jogging for half an hour, I do kickboxing. It helps.

Avoid excessive sugar consumption And caffeine, And don't dehydrate your body. Drink a big glass of water and see if you feel better, calmer and more alert.

8. Pay attention to the soul and spirit

Depending on your religious preferences, do meditation or pray. Practice yoga - or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help you control your busy mind.

9. Take a break

Instead of thinking about the same thing, do something interesting, exciting or creative. Try to laugh(or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm.

10. Take a day off

If I fight like crazy not to take a day off, I know for sure that I need it. If I can overcome myself and spend a whole day away from work, I always come back calmer, more confident and filled with fresh ideas.

11. Don't forget to breathe

When my children were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe from their belly. It still works - for them and for me. Breathing from your diaphragm helps relieve tension immediately and gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. Often this time is enough to assess the situation and regain a sense of control.

During proper belly breathing, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, place your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand rises as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly.

12. Reflect on quotes that can help calm your mind.

“You are heaven. Everything else is just weather." Pema Chodron

“A calm, focused mind, not aimed at harming others, is more powerful than any physical force in the universe.” Wayne Dyer.

“It’s no use rushing life. If I live on the run, then I live wrong. My habit of rushing will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn to give time to everything. If I sacrifice my life for the sake of haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. This means taking time to think. Without haste, you can get everywhere.” Carlos Petrini is the founder of the “slow food” movement.

“The single most important reason to remain calm is that calm parents hear more. Restrained, receptive parents are the ones whose children keep talking." Mary Pipher.

“Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be at peace with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda.