When two people are in love, it seems like it will last a lifetime. The couple seeks to legitimize their relationship not only in the registry office, but also before the Lord. People take vows, get married, and become husband and wife according to Orthodox canons. However, different situations happen in life, and even married people can get divorced. Filing for divorce is easy, but how to dissolve a church marriage? Do I need to do this to get a complete divorce?

Why do people get debunked?

Almost any marriage can fall apart. There will always be reasons for debunking and divorce, because there are a great many of them:

• the banal “they didn’t get along”;
• betrayal;
• bad habits;
• violence and tyranny;
• grievances and misunderstandings;
• laziness, unwillingness to earn a living and/or help with housework.

This is just a basic list of why lovers run away in different directions. In fact, there are many more reasons for debunking and divorce. If people have stopped loving each other, then no excuses are needed to leave - not everyone can try to save an almost broken marriage. Is it possible to debunk a church marriage if the former spouses want to completely break off all relations with each other?

Dissolution of the church union

In ancient times, most of the supposedly “worthy” reasons now for ending relationships and debunking were not serious reasons. The priest wouldn’t even listen to the fact that the spouses didn’t have the same personalities. Unfortunately, most young people have forgotten about the true meaning of a wedding, and have long turned the sacrament into a real show. It is for this reason that the ritual of debunking and divorce began to gain popularity, which makes the temple servants sad.

You can get a divorce in the church if, for example, one of the newlyweds changed his religion. The clergy will not prevent this, because in some religions such relationships are considered one of the worst mortal sins, and divorce can help. In any case, the reason for the debunking procedure to be carried out must be compelling. As recently as the year 2000, the Orthodox Church added three troubles of our time to the list of good reasons for divorce:

• addiction to alcohol, drugs and similar addictions;
• AIDS/HIV, if the husband or wife was not aware of the disease at the time of the wedding;
• abortion, especially if it was performed without the knowledge of the spouse.

If the reason is quite compelling, then the debunking process can be carried out without the permission and presence of the other half. Is it necessary to debunk? Government authorities give time to think and make the right decision before the marriage is dissolved. In case of debunking, it’s also worth thinking about - priests, in principle, do not have a very positive attitude towards divorce, so they will certainly advise you to try to save the family. And, fortunately, many couples actually change their minds about getting divorced and move on happily.

What needs to be done to debunk

The Russian Orthodox Church has approved the procedure for action if the marriage does break up. Within fourteen days after the official divorce, you must contact the parish where the wedding sacrament was held. If this is not possible (for example, the family got married in Moscow and then moved to Ukraine), then you can talk to the priest of the nearest church. He will definitely find out why this happens, why people need debunking, and will explain whether it is possible to debunk. If the reasons for divorce seem insufficient to him, then he will have to look for more convincing arguments or another clergyman. You should only speak the truth, because this conversation is a kind of confession. So how to get divorced after a divorce? You must provide the following list of official documents:

• present, issued by government authorities, document confirming the end of the marriage;
• if the union began to fall apart, and then the spouse or his ex-wife remarried, then documentary evidence of its conclusion;
• a document confirming the wedding ceremony;
• officially confirmed consent of the other half, certified by a notary and signed in person;
• documents confirming the reasons why the spouses want to get divorced.

It is necessary to submit only copies of documents, because the originals should always be in the hands of the former spouses. To avoid such problems, before the wedding you should think carefully about whether you specifically need this ceremony. For believers, the answer to the question is quite obvious, but if there is no faith or the marriage is of convenience, you should carefully weigh your decision so that later the question of how to get married in church does not arise. The ceremony will take place strictly after receiving the certificate from the registry office, so that the divorcing person is completely confident in his decision.

Debunking and new relationships

Since each church divorce is an individual thing, there is no single ritual and order. To do everything right and debunk it, you definitely need to talk to a priest. Get ready for the fact that the servants of the Lord will certainly try to return you to the true path and preserve the family hearth. If no efforts have yielded a positive result, then debunking will be carried out. To do this you need:

• You need to submit a petition to the bishop and attach the necessary documents, and then wait for a response;
• talk to a clergyman;
• receive further blessings.

After the wedding ceremony, every family retains the attributes of the sacrament, for example, candles and icons. They are kept as relics, but sometimes after they are dethroned, it becomes somewhat inconvenient to keep them, like a reminder of a destroyed family. Church ministers claim that no superstitions work here. Candles can be burned, but icons, in principle, cannot bring grief into the house. If you are still afraid, then simply do not give things to anyone.

If the blessing was received after the debunking, then you can enter into a second church marriage. How many times can you get married? Three times. The wedding procedure for the second time is practically no different, only the crowns will not be laid. This honor falls only to those who are getting married for the first time. However, the marriage will still be legal according to the canons of the church. The important thing is that you can re-enter a church marriage only after the spouses have a certificate of concluding a marital union in their hands.

Having a wedding ceremony in a church is purely voluntary. Be sure to weigh your decision, especially when it comes to debunking. Try to save the family - some minor reasons are only temporary and can only strengthen your union. A wedding is not a tribute to fashion, but one of the most important rites of the Orthodox Church. Therefore, if you do not feel faith in yourself, then going to church because “everyone goes” is not worth it. Over time, everyone comes to spirituality. Be happy and loved!

Attention! Due to recent changes in legislation, the information in this article may be out of date. However, each situation is individual.

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Although a married couple is a much more serious step than a secular formalization of a relationship, which presupposes the inviolability of spiritual ties in heaven and on earth, anything can happen in life. What to do with the vows given in church, how to end the relationship correctly, without aggravating the already committed sin? Of course, the church is critical of such situations, but mercy for human nature does not allow it to turn away from parishioners at a difficult stage in their lives.

The Orthodox Church believes that marriages are made in heaven, so the word “divorce,” much less “debunking,” is out of the question. During the sacrament, a mystery takes place, where the groom personifies Christ, the bride – the Church, and their marriage is a sacred union, sealed in eternity. How can such an indestructible bond be destroyed by anyone, people or the state?

But breakups happen for one reason or another, which means something needs to be done about them. Any priest will fight to the last to preserve the marriage and encourage his parishioners to do the same, because divorce for Orthodox Christians is a sin. But if restoration of the union is impossible, then it is believed that it is better for a person to look for a new life partner than to live in fornication.

Important! A responsible decision to dissolve a married union can only be made by a high church official.

To begin with, a couple who wants to divorce needs to formalize the divorce at the registry office, and then write to the diocesan bishop. The letter must describe the situation in detail, but without unnecessary negativity towards your ex-other half, and also attach all the necessary documents. Then all that remains is to humbly wait for an answer.


Even if you are the injured party, your letter must still include your spouse’s consent to divorce, unless this is physically impossible, for example, the person has gone missing. You cannot get divorced against the will of your second spouse., because, according to the church, if a person sins, but still clings to his family, then something else can be fixed.

It should be noted that the procedure is not debunking in its entirety. The former spouses retain a spiritual connection in the eyes of the church and God, but at the same time the innocent party is given the opportunity to build a new relationship. Naturally, before a divorce it is necessary to confess, repent and, possibly, endure penance.

The Church believes that in any breakup, both parties are always to blame, but you should understand that if the relationship ended due to your fault, then the punishment will be more severe.

Reasons for dissolving the union

No two families are the same, no two cases are the same. It’s one thing if the wedding took place not because of the deep faith of the spouses, but because of a fashionable trend, a desire to please parents and go through a beautiful ritual. Another thing is if there are objective problems, and being together, people move away from God more than by taking on the sin of breaking up. That's why Each request is considered individually. However, there are some points that increase the likelihood of a favorable outcome.


The Church allows divorce in the following cases:

• betrayal by one of the parties: at first the priest will try to reconcile the spouses, remind them that we all make mistakes, but if this fails, then the chance of terminating the relationship increases many times over;
• conversion of a husband or wife to another faith;
• the wife had an abortion without her husband’s consent and without medical contraindications;
• infertility is a very difficult moment: a strict priest will refuse if this is the only reason, because only God can decide how many children there will be in the family;
• diagnosed alcoholism or drug addiction: a certificate from a medical institution is required, just the love of drinking is not a valid reason;
• domestic violence, also documented by law enforcement;
• incurable disease dangerous for future children, for example, AIDS or syphilis;
• diagnosed incurable mental disorder;
• sexual perversions, especially those threatening children;
• long prison sentences;
• new civil or official marriage of the former spouse;
• missing for more than 3 years.

Advice! If your reasons are not included in the list above, do not despair - submit a petition with your arguments. The Orthodox Church is merciful and tries to empathize with the situation of all its children without exception.

How to terminate?

So, if you firmly decide that the marriage is over, then you must first get a divorce in the eyes of the state. Only after receiving a divorce certificate from the registry office can you write to the diocesan bishop.

Remember that you can file a petition alone, but you will still need to bring permission from your spouse. There are certain templates for writing letters to the bishop, you can use them, you can write yourself, from the heart. You should not describe your reasons too dryly, because the church is not a bureaucratic system, or, on the contrary, too emotionally - you can express your feelings to your confessor, but not to a high church rank.

If the bishop considered your reasons legitimate, then you will receive a blessing for a new marriage, a paper confirming this, and you can. But remember that the church does not accept more than three marriages, so think carefully before your next trip down the aisle.

Be sure to talk with the confessor, the priest who married you. He will explain all controversial issues, give the necessary advice, and also be able to support you in difficult times.

Documentation

You should take with you to church:

• passports;
• divorce certificate;
• wedding certificate;
• letter to the bishop;
• any documentary evidence of the specified reasons for divorce - medical certificates, conclusions from law enforcement agencies.

Divorce in other religions

All world religions agree that divorce is sinful, but due to the weakness of human nature, it is pointless to put an absolute ban on divorce. If attempts to reconcile the spouses and return them to the family are unsuccessful, and an exceptional situation has developed in the family, the clergy will allow you to renounce these vows.

Important! The procedure will be preceded by a conversation with the confessor, and in the case of the Catholic Church, an entire church court, but ultimately the divorcees will still be met halfway.

Do Catholics have debunking in the church?

The Catholic Church treats divorces, on the one hand, much more uncompromisingly, and on the other hand, softer than the Orthodox Church. For Catholics, civil divorce and separation is considered normal. In some cases it will not even be a sin. But debunking, taking away one’s vows before God, is completely unacceptable.

Afterwards, the only possibility is to have the marriage declared invalid, annulled, and such a verdict will be made not by one clergyman, but by an entire tribunal.


Proceedings to annul a Catholic marriage often drag on for years.

Even if the guilt of one of the parties is objectively proven, no one guarantees a divorce. The reason for the breakup is most often betrayal, but other reasons are also possible - impotence, violation of obligations. In cases of domestic violence, mental illness, alcoholism or drug addiction, the Catholic Church may suggest that the sick spouse undergo treatment and the other one wait.

In more complex, non-standard situations - resign yourself, endure and learn the lesson that life is trying to teach with this or that problem.

Is it possible for Muslims to get divorced?

Despite the prevailing opinion that Islam does not allow any divorces after marriage, especially those initiated by a woman, this is not entirely true.

Allah has a negative attitude towards the collapse of a family, but getting a divorce if necessary is quite possible. It is enough for a man to say “you are divorced” or “you are single” for a “buffer period” to begin, during which the couple can change their minds and repair the broken love boat. At the same time, the husband is not at all obliged to explain his decision, although such behavior is extremely unwelcome and can lead to certain social problems and consequences.


A woman, if she wants to get a divorce, should seek help from an imam. He takes responsibility for protecting her interests in the divorce proceedings. The reason for separation may be the husband’s insufficient financial security or any other incompatibility.

Important! The family in Islam is sacred, marriage means the union of two families, and therefore divorces are so rare and they are used only as a last resort.

Useful video

Today, a wedding is a tribute to fashion, and after a divorce, former spouses have many questions: is there a debunking of a church marriage, how to get unwed, is it possible to get unwed? Answers to these questions in the video:

Conclusion

Getting a divorce after a wedding is difficult, but possible. Of course, you should realize in advance that the sacrament will connect you with a certain person for life, so you need to approach the wedding consciously. If a mistake has already been made, then it is the church’s job to help correct it. Good reasons, sincere repentance and a desire to live in the Orthodox tradition will allow you to survive the divorce with minimal losses, and the “purified” former spouses will be able to calmly move towards a new union.

When connecting our lives with our soulmate, any of us is sure that this will be forever. But it also happens that in life everything does not work out the way we want. Often, not so long ago, hearts that deeply loved each other, which swore an oath of allegiance before God, now diverge in different directions, becoming completely strangers. What to do in such a situation? Is it possible to debunk a church marriage or church divorce? Is it possible to get married again in church with another spouse?

The union of two loving people, blessed by heaven, is considered eternal, because this is a special rite, a special church Sacrament. Therefore, before young people get married in a church, they need to think it over very carefully; this is a very responsible decision, because the church condemns divorce. Hence, in the Orthodox religion there is neither a church divorce nor a rite of dissolution of a church marriage. However, despite the disapproval, the Orthodox Church in some circumstances may be lenient towards “sinners” and agree to a second church wedding (more on them below). Only in one case do church canons, without censure, allow a person to be re-connected in a sacred wedding with another chosen one - in the event of the death of a former spouse, that is, for widowers.

To conduct a repeat wedding ceremony, a couple, after a regular wedding in the registry office, with a certificate in hand, must submit a petition to the regional Diocesan administration, since the priests are unable to do this again without the consent of the Diocese (bishop), they do not have the appropriate authority to do so. The address of this department can be found in any temple at your place of residence. But even in this case, the Diocesan Administration issues a blessing to re-perform the church wedding ceremony; they do not issue any right to dissolve (debunk) a church marriage. In addition to the marriage certificate, to submit a petition to the diocesan administration, you will need an identity card and a certificate of divorce from the previous spouse. In addition, there should be no canonical obstacles to the ceremony. One spouse has the right to submit a petition; the presence of the couple is not required. When you have permission from the Diocese for a second church marriage, you can go to any church and go through the wedding ceremony there a second time.

The re-wedding procedure is somewhat different from the original one. If both spouses are married again, then the ceremony is carried out in what is called the “second rite,” that is, without laying crowns. In the case when only one of the spouses undergoes the ceremony again, the ceremony is carried out according to all the rules. The rite of an Orthodox church wedding (marriage) cannot be performed more than three times.

Reasons for re-marriage.

• Having leprosy, syphilis or AIDS.
• Creation of a new family by one of the spouses (marriage).
• Change of faith by one of the spouses (falling away from the Orthodox faith).
• Incapacity for marital cohabitation that arose before marriage, either intentionally or accidentally.
• Intentional abandonment of a spouse or prolonged unknown absence of one of the spouses.
• Condemnation to punishment.
• Unnatural vices (sodomy, fornication, bestiality).
• Attempt on the life or health of a spouse or joint children.
• Incurable mental or other illness (including drug addiction and alcoholism), medically certified.
• Inability to procreate.
• Wedding of relatives or canonical minors (15 years old for men, 13 years old for women).
• Wedding in the presence of a legal spouse.
• Marriage against the will of one of the spouses.
• A wife committing an abortion against her husband's will.
• Snitching or pimping.
• Adultery (betrayal) of one of the spouses.

Reasons such as “we don’t agree with the spouse’s character”, “we don’t get along with relatives”, “the husband’s inability to financially provide for the family”, etc. are insufficient to dissolve a church marriage.

According to Byzantine law, adultery was not a reason for divorce if both parties were guilty of it, if the spouses had mutually forgiven each other, or if the period for filing a complaint had expired (five years). Only the spouse who is not involved or guilty of adultery will receive the bishop’s blessing to perform the church ceremony again. Persons guilty of divorce will be able to undergo the ceremony again only after repentance and performing penance (pilgrimage, fasting, alms, etc.). If this is the third case of marriage, the period of penance is increased based on the canonical rules.

Consider the mistakes of your first marriage and do not make them in your second. Be patient, maintain a feeling of love and tenderness for each other, make compromises. Try to make your Christian family last forever.

How to get debunked in church? Does such a ritual exist in principle? Priest Mikhail Samokhin will answer these questions in this article.

How to debunk in a church?

One - wedding, two - wedding...

Priest Mikhail Samokhin

To be honest, the word “debunking” hurts my ears. And not only because there is some terminological or philological incorrectness in it. Rather, it is the attitude towards the Sacrament of Marriage that is evident in this word that causes caution. Got together - separated. Got married - “debunked”. Everything is simple, everyday, ordinary and fixable. And the most important thing is in our hands.

In fact, the collapse of an Orthodox family is a tragedy. Although when people come to the site or in person with a question about “debunking,” they do not realize the tragedy.

But the Lord conceived a family as a union of two people for the rest of their lives: “I tell you: whoever divorces his wife for reasons other than adultery and marries another commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matt. 19:9) A simple and clear command.

Strict chastity was not only a fence against the pagan licentiousness that reigned around the first Christians. It naturally flowed from the understanding that marriage is an earthly image of the heavenly union of Christ and the Church. Christ cannot have two Churches, and the Church cannot have anyone other than Christ. This is how we imagine the relationship between a man and a woman united in a Christian marriage. This is what St. John Chrysostom wrote about the family, for example.

And now we put precisely this highest meaning into the Sacrament, perceiving the family as a small Church, whose task is the spiritual salvation of all whom it unites. There is one more important feature that unites the Church and the family. This is the power of love operating in them. To each other and to the Lord.

Thus, the Church, as the proclaimer of the Gospel truth, does not know divorce, as ancient or modern people knew it. Divorce as the return of premarital freedom from each other. But there are cases when people themselves destroyed their marriage. And it is impossible to turn a blind eye to this.

Guided by the words of the Lord, the Church recognized the fact of family breakdown in the event of betrayal by one of the spouses. And until now, the list of reasons why a marriage can be declared broken is small. For accuracy, I will quote the official document - “Fundamentals of the Social Concept of the Russian Orthodox Church”:

“In 1918, the Local Council of the Russian Orthodox Church, in its “Definition on the reasons for the dissolution of a marriage sanctified by the Church,” recognized as such, in addition to adultery and the entry of one of the parties into a new marriage, also the apostasy of a spouse from Orthodoxy, unnatural vices, inability to marital cohabitation, which occurred before marriage or was the result of intentional self-mutilation, leprosy or syphilis, long-term unknown absence, condemnation to punishment coupled with deprivation of all rights of the estate, encroachment on the life or health of the spouse or children, daughter-in-law, pimping, profiting from indecency spouse, incurable serious mental illness and malicious abandonment of one spouse by the other. Currently, this list of grounds for divorce is supplemented by such reasons as AIDS, medically certified chronic alcoholism or drug addiction, and the wife committing an abortion with the husband’s disagreement.”

Sorrowful list. And I really don’t want any of it to become the reality of the family life of any of the readers. But it may very well be that if you are reading these lines, the topic of church divorce has affected you personally. The family broke up. And now it’s clear why this is called a tragedy. What to do? Of course, pray. Either about preserving the family, or about the Lord directing future life according to His all-good will.

And only when, in response to prayer, you find someone with whom you want to go through life, when you come to the decision to seal your union with God’s blessing, you need to go to church. There they will tell you how to contact the ruling bishop of the diocese for the blessing of remarriage.

Note that this decision is so important for the Church that only a bishop can make it. And the right to remarry is given only to those who are not to blame for the breakup of the first family. Isn't it a significant difference? Not “debunking,” but remarriage. Not freedom, but again a family, a small church.

It is important. Cardinally important. But I, like many fellow priests, consider it inappropriate to overshadow the triumph of marriage with words about divorce. And therefore it is possible to talk about this only during preparation for the wedding. Maybe in confession. But for some, how the Church understands the Sacrament of marriage remains unknown. And the Sacrament itself is a beautiful ritual.

Therefore, I really want my sad reflections to be read, first of all, not by those who ask about “debunking.” And those who joyfully prepare for the Sacrament of Marriage. Not because I like to ruin someone's joy. But so that the newlyweds realize the importance and responsibility of the upcoming event. And let the little useful information presented here never be useful to anyone!

Have you read the article “ Debunking. How to get debunked in church?“. Read also.