3 831 0 Women have a great mission - procreation. Where does the desire to have a tiny creature that will be a combination of two personalities come from? It is impossible to answer a seemingly simple question in a few sentences. Apparently, at a certain period, the accumulated tenderness and affection becomes too overwhelming and requires the object of attention.

It’s good when, after a family decision about an heir, the female body is ready to carry out its plans. What if all attempts to increase the family are zero? What needs to be done in such cases and how, first of all, to deal with the thought of infertility? How to respond to your parents’ caustic hints about their upcoming retirement without their little grandchildren?

Waiting is a very painful task. What becomes offensive is that, from a physiological point of view, all the prerequisites for conception are present, but the test result continues to loom in one line. Is it really possible that measuring temperature, drawing up a schedule, and choosing days for intimacy will remain a waste of time? Let's try to understand the reasons and outline ways to overcome the current situation.

Idiopathic infertility

What it is? This is the inability to medically identify the true causes of a couple’s infertility. Men are more susceptible to this disease than women.

Every third man is susceptible to idiopathic infertility. But the problem is not always with the stronger half of humanity.

Reasons for information security:

• thickening of the ovarian walls, which makes it difficult for sperm to pass through;
• unhealthy lifestyle and bad habits;
• woman's age;

Treatment is usual: first, taking all the tests and identifying the physiological causes of the disease, and then adjusting your lifestyle: diet, fitness, yoga, etc. If this does not help, then turn to assisted reproductive technologies.

But often, the causes of infertility lie on the surface and they are associated with more mundane factors - psychological (not ready, I'm afraid, what if... etc.).

What is psychological infertility

In medicine, there is the concept of “psychological infertility.” It’s easy to decipher the name and guess the source of the disease. After repeated research, doctors state that they are powerless and offer to use the services of psychotherapists who help find the true cause. It turns out that it is not enough to have excellent physical characteristics to enjoy maternal happiness.

Sometimes the slightest deviation of the body from the norm, added by the instability of the nervous system, turns into a huge problem. Gynecologists, having completed their task, shrug their shoulders and advise waiting. Psychologists are trying to plunge into the past and find a solution to today's situation. The physiological level is more amenable to treatment than the psychological level.

Causes of psychological problems

Identifying symptoms is the beginning of a successful fight. Experts identify the most common psychological causes of infertility. This is, first of all:

1. Fear of pregnancy and difficult childbirth.
2. Unsaved conception and unsuccessful childbirth in the past.
3. Disagreement in the family.
4. Fear of remaining shapeless, of losing a slim figure.
5. Excessive desire to be a mother.
6. Fear of lost time and childbearing opportunities.
7. Constant pressure from loved ones.
8. Fear of future pain and unexpected injuries.
9. Uncertainty in performing maternal tasks.
10. Psychological disorders from childhood.
11. Fear of upcoming changes.
12. Negative experiences with parents.
13. Condemnation by society and friends of the birth of a baby.

Problems and feelings

Failures lead to deterioration of the condition. Serious infertility problems arise that lead to negative feelings:

• Excessive depression;
• Feelings of inferiority;
• Failure of the feminine principle;
• Lack of development and implementation of ideas.

Together, these feelings depress the psyche and become a barrier. Time moves inexorably forward, and traditional medicine with excellent equipment and diagnostics is powerless. What to do and where to find a magic wand that will make your cherished wishes come true? Many couples face psychological infertility.

The human body is not fully understood. During stressful situations, the nervous system blocks certain organ functions, protecting them from excessive emotions, overstrain and anxiety. It turns out that by turning off certain tasks, the body programs a reduction in overload, creating the necessary balance.

Marvelous! There are inexplicable cases when a married couple, who took in a child from an orphanage, after a while receives one of their own. Apparently worries about the baby overshadow thoughts about pregnancy. Calm and inner harmony sets in.

The beginning of deliverance

Recognizing existing fears is the starting point. How to get rid of your own disappointment and uncertainty. Before you go to a specialist, answer the following questions honestly:

• What made you want to have a child?
• What are the goals of having a baby?
• What will a newborn bring into your life?

Psychologists say that psychological infertility affects women who are successful, loved, and wealthy. They are too emotional. Relying only on their own strengths, their worldview repels faith in God and excludes the sacrament. Using previous experience to achieve goals, they want to predict their lives.

Try to let go of thoughts about the child and switch to an interesting activity that can captivate you for several months. The blockage will disappear by itself and the long-awaited cry of the newborn will sound for you. Until you are ready to become a mother, the time for change has not come.

If the desired pregnancy does not occur, seek help from a specialist. The psychologist, in collaboration with other doctors, will develop a number of measures to restore the body and direct its potential in the right direction. Tests and analyzes will do their job and find the key to solving the riddle.

How to get rid of psychological causes of infertility - treatment methods

Perinatal psychology involves the correction of psychological inadequacy for conception and pregnancy. How is the treatment carried out? What are the methods? First of all, this:

• Group auto training. Collective meetings against the backdrop of the same problem will create support and an opportunity to look at the situation from a different perspective. Sometimes such a view helps to realistically assess difficulties and gain confidence in the future. Team wrestling is better than fighting alone.
• Self-hypnosis. Phrases repeated daily have fundamental power. The psychologist will definitely make the necessary proposals that will give strong faith to fulfill your innermost desires.
• Visualization of the problem. The doctor asks the woman to imagine that the fetus is already inside her. By creating the appearance of conception, a person thinks through the feelings of joy and happiness. Suggestion occurs and the brain begins to think in this direction in order to preserve the received emotions and impressions.

• Stop paying attention to your monthly cycles and enjoy sex and intimacy with your loved one. Time moves inexorably forward and after the birth of the baby, it will not be easy to carve out minutes and be alone together.
• Intimate relationships should be relaxed, implying the transfer of tenderness and affection to each other. When you think about conception, there can be no talk of any relaxation. The only thought in my head is: “We need a child.”
• Be romantic and give cute gifts. Surround family relationships with warmth. Spend more time together. Watch light movies. Go out of town. Nature inspires and gives a stream of freshness.
• Talk about your deepest desires and dreams without fear of looking funny and awkward. A family is created so that two completely different people unite and give the world a small miracle.

The experience of many women shows that as soon as they let go of the obsessive thought that they need to get pregnant, without self-deception, but by truly and sincerely admitting it to themselves, then pregnancy occurs in the near future.

Treatment highlights

Psychological infertility in women is mostly successfully treated and the help of specialists brings the cherished goal closer. A woman must understand the seriousness of the problem. If left unaddressed, uncertainty will overshadow the next tasks. And over the years, this accumulated lump will turn into a large lump, which, alas, can only be broken up with medical drugs.

Regular attendance at consultations creates hope for recovery. Do not miss classes with a psychologist, correcting your thoughts, views and desires. Relaxation techniques, simple exercises, yoga, meditation - there are many ways to overcome stress. You choose the most suitable one for yourself.

Significant factors of infertility

The psychological factor of infertility includes two levels: pregnancy is an obsession and unpreparedness to be a mother.

Factor #1. A woman who is under the burden of constant stressful situations acquires a disease called “stress-induced ovarian dysfunction.” Failures at work and in personal life, great physical stress, and an obsessive desire to give birth to a baby cause infertility.

The ability of the fallopian tubes to contract decreases. The egg does not mature and is not fertilized. Due to constant negative thoughts, hormonal levels are disrupted and a woman, experiencing failures, treats conception as a difficult task.

Factor #2. Lack of preparation for motherhood provokes miscarriages. The body does not want to accept what it is ordered to reject. Observe your thoughts and statements on the topic of having a baby.

Difference between male and female infertility

It is important to understand that the psychology of infertility between spouses is significantly different.

men	women
A man's body produces its own antibodies. Sperm lose mobility if he is categorically against the child.	By forcing her husband to worry, the wife is trying to impose her own emotions, which are not typical for men.
On the days of possible conception, the spouse unexpectedly disappears from home, afraid of feeling his inadequacy.	Women are often distressed by reasons beyond their control: age, changes in the body, discarding the true reasons: bad habits and the presence of stressful situations.
Men are afraid of change and violation of personal space.	Women are very impatient and want results from the first days of treatment.

This table can be continued depending on the individual approach to each individual couple. Psychological infertility is an important problem. Take it seriously and responsibly. But there is no need to panic, if it is difficult to cope with physiological problems, then you can and should work with psychological ones, and it is better to start as early as possible!

We will be glad to receive your comments and feedback about the article.

Reasons, fears, consequences, the next video is about this.

Despite the achievements of modern medicine, every fifth couple faces problems when wanting to have a child. If a couple who is sexually active without using contraception does not become pregnant within 2 years, a diagnosis of infertility is made. If a woman's repeated attempts to carry a child end in miscarriages, this is also a sign of infertility.

Psychological factor of infertility

When treating infertility, physical health problems are first examined. The inability to conceive and bear a child may be associated with abnormalities in the structure of the reproductive organs, inflammatory changes, serious imbalance of hormones, and immunological incompatibility of partners.

However, there are often cases when, after repeated studies, it turns out that a man and a woman are absolutely healthy, but nevertheless cannot conceive a child. Doctors state their powerlessness and offer to use? Why? A person is not only a physical body, but also a psyche, subtly connected with each organ. There is also psychological infertility, when the normal functioning of the reproductive system is blocked by the psyche of one of the partners, and the couple cannot conceive.

Psychological infertility is seen as the result of an unconscious reluctance to have a child. There is a conflict within the individual: on the one hand, there is a passionate desire to become a parent, on the other hand, childbearing in the mind is strongly associated with some kind of negative expectations. Thus, psychological infertility performs a protective function in relation to these negative factors.

Psychological problems of infertility also include a situation where spouses undergo all the necessary unpleasant medical treatment procedures, take a variety of medications and even undergo surgical interventions, but the desired pregnancy never occurs. The reason for this is stress due to worries about possible repeated failure.

Even if you have now regained your health, the difficulties you went through trying to conceive and carry a child to term in the past may have traumatized you so much that your body seems to be in a state of threat to biological survival. In such a situation, reproduction of offspring is not justified, and pregnancy does not occur or fails.

Stress dominates reproductive function. As a rule, the level of anxiety goes through the roof during the optimal periods for conception, when a couple is trying to get pregnant. Stress causes temporary disturbances at the body level. And again the arrival of menstruation after a hope-inspiring delay, tears, the experience of loss, the thought “why do I need all this?” And so on in a circle. Think about it: if any thoughts about possible problems with conception cause you mental pain and severe fear, perhaps you yourself are causing the problem.

Psychology of infertility

Both women and men can suffer from psychological infertility, just like biological ones. Psychological infertility in women is more common, or, more precisely, it is more often diagnosed. After all, as a rule, women endure their inability to conceive and bear a child much more difficult and more often turn to psychotherapists.

Psychological causes of infertility in women

The main psychosomatic causes of infertility in women include feelings of fear and guilt. On a conscious level, a woman wants a child, but on an unconscious level, she is afraid, defends herself from it, or punishes herself for something, denying herself the joy of motherhood.

Uncertainty about the future

The unsatisfactory financial situation of the family, the lack of their own housing can force the body to “delay” the onset of pregnancy until better times. People who deliberately delay having children until they are firmly on their feet do not experience problems conceiving.

Difficulties in relationships with your spouse are an undoubted block to childbearing. Uncertainty in a partner can become a problem when conceiving a child from this particular man. This also includes the fear of losing independence and reluctance to depend financially on a spouse. It is not scary to entrust your life and the life of a child to a person in whose feelings and integrity you are completely confident.

Fear of having a problem child

If a couple already has a baby who has caused a lot of trouble and negative experiences (difficult character, deviations in physical and mental development), then the woman on a subconscious level may resist the birth of a second child. Sometimes it is enough to see how friends suffer with a problem child to develop a subconscious fear of motherhood.

Deep psychological trauma

The most common example of psychological trauma that leads to the development of psychological infertility is that a woman’s father left the family shortly after her birth. Fear of repeating the mother's fate affects a woman's psychological health and causes difficulties with conception and miscarriages.

Problems in the parental family, lack of love from parents is a serious and deep psychological problem. Often leads to development in the most responsible and loving girls. Some people develop the attitude “it’s better not to give birth at all than to become like my mother and doom your baby to an unhappy childhood.”

A difficult first birth and other complex operations can traumatize the psyche so much that, despite the sincere desire to become a mother, her body resists the prospect of going through such torment again.

Guilt

Women who have previously had abortions may subconsciously believe that they have lost the right to experience the joy of motherhood. The subconscious also blocks the reproductive function of those who feel guilty about friends and relatives who are less fortunate in their personal lives.

An example from life. The woman was raised by a single mother who was never able to get married. The mother repeatedly repeated that if it were not for her daughter, her life would have turned out differently, much better. Result: having matured, the girl cannot afford to get pregnant due to feelings of guilt. In her mind, the fact that she has a loving man is already “unfair” in relation to the mother who dedicated her life.

Child's place is taken

The condition for maintaining psychological health is the correct distribution of roles in the family. A woman who has been entrusted with caring for her younger brothers and sisters since childhood may subconsciously resist the appearance in her home of another capricious and demanding baby, like those who once stole her childhood. She has already “raised” the children and she’s had enough.

It also happens that a woman is unable to have a child, because psychologically she already feels like a mother of many children with numerous relatives - starting from her own parents and ending with her husband and his relatives. Subconsciously, the woman understands that she cannot bear another “child”.

Do I need it or do I want it?

Quite often, the desire to have a child voiced by a woman is not entirely sincere. A woman dependent on the opinions of others often replaces the concept “I want” with “need” and “it’s time.” Parents demand grandchildren, girlfriends who gave birth a long time ago look with condescending sympathy, the husband asks for an heir. Raised as an obedient, exemplary girl, the woman gives in to the pressure of relatives and society and tries to give birth. Those who have a stronger internal conflict, for whom the realization of completely different desires (leisure, career, education) are more urgent, cannot conceive. Psychoanalysts say: “And thank God: psychological infertility is easier to cope with than the realization that your own baby does not evoke any maternal feelings in you.”

Anxiety

Most modern young couples take childbearing very seriously. They don't trust chance. They begin to plan their pregnancy in advance and see doctors. When you stop taking birth control pills and make your first attempts to get pregnant, but nothing happens, not every girl is able to maintain composure. Thoughts appear about possible infertility, the prospects for a childless life, and the possible departure of her husband. , as a result of which subsequent attempts to conceive end in failure. This is how psychological infertility develops almost out of nowhere.

Infertility in men

The psychological causes of infertility in men largely coincide with the same factors that affect women. For example, uncertainty about the future - fear of not being able to financially provide for the child and wife, doubts about the feelings of the partner - fears that after the birth of the baby the man will become interested in the wife as nothing more than the breadwinner of the family.

Most men are smart enough to understand that children are a big responsibility. The appearance of a child in a family implies a radical change in lifestyle. Fear of losing a sense of freedom, fear of a measured family life can provoke psychological infertility in a man. Another common reason is fear of a possible deterioration in the quality of sexual life after childbirth.

Psychological infertility: how to get rid of it?

Difficulties in the fight against infertility of psychogenic origin can arise already at the stage of diagnosing the causes of its occurrence. The internal conflicts described above are often suppressed and not recognized by people. It's embarrassing to admit that your wife can't conceive a child just because of your fear that she will lose shape after giving birth. It is almost impossible to admit, without prompting from a psychotherapist, that behind the inability to bear a child is a desire for self-punishment. The hardest thing is to accept the fact that in the relationship between spouses not everything is as good as we would like. To diagnose and effectively solve a problem, the help of a psychotherapist and even a hypnologist is sometimes necessary, for example,

Physiologically everything is fine...
But a woman cannot become pregnant or carry a baby to term, even if she already has a child. Then there are grounds to talk about psychological infertility.

This is a voluminous topic, and today we will not dwell on the causes of psychological infertility, but will focus on Is psychological correction of this condition possible?

• What can and should be done on your own?
• What methods does perinatal psychology use?
• Is there a difference between male and female infertility?

Before offering a woman steps to overcome psychological infertility, it is necessary to understand the psychological causes of infertility. Without understanding the reason, it is impossible to move on.

There are many reasons for psychological infertility.

As I wrote in my article “Childless Marriage,” a number of doctors, psychologists, psychoanalysts, and psychotherapists of bodily practices have studied the subject of what underlies infertility and how to overcome it?

So, psychological infertility is based primarily on fears, tension, inability to relax, and anxiety. And every time they get stronger. Women's reactions to infertility vary: from deep depression to hatred of those who have small children. They cannot go to visit places where there are children; it upsets, angers, and annoys them. And at the same time they want to have their own children.

But the paradox is that with deeper work it turns out: in fact, the woman is not ready or even does not want to have children. During the consultation, it turns out that the child needs to be born, because... it is accepted in society, it will provide a number of benefits, it is a way to avoid going to work, it is a solution to some problems. And, as luck would have it, from the woman’s point of view, she does not give birth. Therefore, first of all, I find out using various diagnostic techniques how much a woman really needs a child. What is she willing to do to have a baby? What did you do?

In this case, hypnoanalysis helps well to understand true desires, needs, and possibilities. Give birth for what and for whom. What to expect with the arrival of a child? Understand the expectations of having a baby?

I have had cases when women talked about their infertility, came to sort it out, and at the second or third meeting it suddenly turned out that the husband and wife, in principle, do not have an intimate relationship or use contraceptives. So this also happens.

Overcoming psychological infertility is a set of measures. This is work at the level of body and mind. Body-oriented therapy, holistic massage, relaxation and stress relief techniques, and working with fears are well suited. Art therapy techniques, including painting and other creative work, are good options.

If a woman is overweight, weight loss alone sometimes helps. In another case, on the contrary, a woman needs to eat better.

With the help of a psychotherapist, if necessary, improve family relationships. Enjoy your relationship with your husband, don’t turn it into work.

Well, of course, it also happens when everything has been tried, all hope of having a child is already lost, and suddenly a MIRACLE happens. The woman became pregnant and later safely gave birth to a baby.

A man rarely comes to a psychotherapist. And here, too, we understand the problem, the psychological reasons, and then with what comes to the surface from the subconscious - we work with this material. It also happens that, like a woman, a man doesn’t really want to have a child. Although he doesn’t voice this in front of a woman.

To sum it up:
We work to identify psychological causes and eliminate these causes. We work with doubts, feelings of shame, fear.

We teach relaxation and stress reduction techniques. And there, if everything works out as it should, a very important event will happen in the family - the birth of a long-awaited child.

With psychological infertility, I like how the direction of body-oriented psychotherapy works. In line with this trend, the main cause of infertility is the fear of losing control over one’s body. Yes, yes, after all, both during pregnancy and during childbirth, another living being controls the body. Any obstetrician-gynecologist will confirm this fact to you: when birth begins, it is the child’s body that controls this process, that is, it is in charge here.

Well, let’s say, you say, but is it really so scary not to manage the process? My answer is yes, for women suffering from psychological infertility it is very scary. After all, they are not friends with their body, habitually suppressing their feelings and living exclusively with their heads. It takes a ton of energy to keep everything under control, to monitor and manage everything. It is no coincidence that such people are tormented by nightmares and total fatigue.

What's the solution? It is about becoming aware of your repressed feelings, living through them and subsequently forming new habits to respond when a woman is congruent with her feelings and lets go of control where possible. That's all.

I myself am interested in whether there are psychological differences in infertility between men and women. But so far I have only been able to work on this topic with women, so I won’t undertake to compare.

In my opinion, helping yourself in the treatment of psychological infertility on your own is very difficult, if not impossible. It's just a matter of reasons. It's difficult to answer without talking about them.

Women who have difficulty conceiving and bearing children unconsciously almost always expect attacks from the outside world (for example, accusations). The body is therefore in constant tension. For the reproductive organs to function properly, relaxation and good blood supply are necessary, which is impossible with sufficiently strong constant tension. It is difficult for a woman to even notice and understand this tension on her own (my clients did not succeed in this from the first meeting), much less track its causes and cope with them. If this were easily realized, there would not be such a force of tension.

In the process of working with the client, we slowly find those subtle features of his sense of self that are difficult to notice, but which create psychological infertility.

In short, the body seems to say: “I am defending myself!!!” And this is more important to him than conception. In therapy, it becomes possible to find those dangers from which it is important to protect yourself, and to master new methods of protection - without side effects such as infertility.

An additional method (from bodily therapy) can be used to “disperse” the blood at later stages of therapy for a faster process of conception - Reich’s “Sponge” exercise.

But, in my opinion, you can do without it.

I would also like to add that a very significant component in this topic is the psychological pressure on a woman experiencing difficulty conceiving from relatives and friends. This only increases tension and makes the situation worse. After all, a woman already experiences difficult feelings about the fact that she does not yet have a child.

Of course, psychological correction of psychological infertility is possible. This is proven by my experience, and the experience of my colleagues, and the emergence of such a branch of practical psychology as perinatal psychology.

It is important and necessary to begin independent work to figure out what may hinder/hold back/stop the onset of a long-awaited pregnancy or paternity.

I will try, rather tentatively and rather roughly, to give a possible scheme of work in this direction, which everyone (mother or father) can carry out independently. And if necessary, seek psychological help/support/accompaniment when faced with strong emotions, unexpected discoveries, or things that you are not ready/can’t/can’t/don’t know how to deal with alone.

Step one.
Often, when we want something, but don’t realize it (we don’t do it or can’t for various reasons), then a kind of splitting into two parts occurs, between which a hidden or obvious conflict arises.
In this case, there is one part that wants a child. And the other part that doesn’t want to (for example, is afraid).

And you can do the following exercise - write it down, without showing it to anyone and trying to be as honest with yourself as possible, first from the part that wants a child:

• for example, why do you need a child?
• Why do you want to become a mother/father?
• What positive changes do you expect in your life?
• What valuable things will a child bring into your life?
• How will your relationship with your parents change with the arrival of a child?

And from the part that doesn't want:

• What will you lose with the appearance of a child in your life?
• What will you have to give up?
• What happens if your expectations are not realized and things don’t happen the way you imagine?
• How will you feel if, with the birth of your child, you increasingly notice that you are becoming like your parent (mother/father)?
• How will you feel if the child is completely different than you imagine?

Step two.
Relationships with our children often reproduce family scenarios - whether we like it or not, we are children of our parents. Therefore, it is important to understand the relationship with your parents: for men, first of all, with the relationship with their father, for women - with their mother. Even with those absent for various reasons, for example, deceased. Even if the parent is not nearby (we have never seen him), this does not mean that we do not have a relationship with him, that we do not think about him, do not experience different feelings, do not fantasize or imagine, but “what would have happened, if".

Perhaps this stage is one of the most difficult. Because there are many steps and pitfalls:

• become aware of your relationships, their strengths and limitations, in order to become stronger;
• Become aware of parenting attitudes and messages so that you can reject those that do not suit you and accept those that are consistent with your values ​​for today;
• accept that you cannot change your parents or your childhood;
• letting go of what is blocking you in your relationship with your parent(s) in order to move towards your own parenting.

There is a lot of work going on here, and there are many exercises, for example, one of them is to write a letter to your parent, without the intention of sending it and without censorship, trying to reflect all your experiences (anger, complaints, resentments, irritation, fears, despair, pain, gratitude , joy, pride and others). It is important to remember that anger and other so-called “negative” emotions do not cancel your love for your parent.

Step three.
Working on your attitude towards your own body, accepting your own body, its changes and capabilities.
Here the exercises are aimed at studying your body and developing sensitivity. This is helped by yoga, breathing exercises, meditation, sports, the main goal of which is to help you understand the capabilities and limitations of your body, and learn to trust your bodily manifestations.

There are other steps that contribute to progress towards motherhood/paternity, but these steps are determined by a specialist in accordance with the individual characteristics of a person and his specific history.

I wish you to find long-awaited motherhood/fatherhood!

There is no such thing as psychological infertility.
There is a temporary psychophysical refusal of conception and gestation. Moreover, a woman may also have physical manifestations of a body that refuses. These are vaginal dysbiosis, painful periods, low blood pressure, hormonal imbalance. The psyche and physics cannot be separated here.

Therefore, when working with women who want to become pregnant, carry, give birth and breastfeed, I use physical exercise, diet and psychotherapy in combination.

I am still sure that a woman’s fears and complexes cannot make her infertile. The instinct for procreation and the biology of the body are stronger than the complexes that appeared during a person’s life, because the instincts are more archaic and are located in more ancient parts of the brain.

I am sure that the reason for many women's difficulties in motherhood is largely due to a sedentary lifestyle. But even knowing this, it is difficult for a woman to change it, because habits are already a layer of psychology. I help women overcome stereotypical thinking, habits and change their lifestyle to a more favorable one for having a child.

I am also sure that the problem of psychophysical refusal of pregnancy lies in the area of ​​poor contact with one’s own body. This is not so important during conception, but it is important for pregnancy and childbirth. Working in this area takes time; contact cannot be rushed; it is an intimate and vulnerable territory. A woman's belly is the center of life not only for herself, but also for a new person. Sacred area.

There were times when women conveyed these meanings and symbols to each other at the level of the psyche and body in rituals and customs. But city life has devalued these traditions, now we are returning to them, but consciously and through psychology.

Physiologically, everything is fine... But a woman cannot get pregnant or carry a baby, even if she already has a child. Then there are grounds to talk about psychological infertility.

There are reasons before. If physiologically not everything is in order for a woman of reproductive age, this is also not just like that. But there is simply not enough space to describe in detail how bodily manifestations and psychological states are connected. I will only say that in my practice there were women with physical problems, but conservative treatment does not always give anything at all in this area. And yes, it happened that in the process of psychotherapy and deep investigations in thoughts, feelings and sensations, family scenarios, we found the origins of the physiological disorder itself, the disorder went away, and with it infertility.

It also happens, of course, that according to tests and studies, everything is normal, but pregnancy does not occur. But the mechanism is still the same: inside the body there is a hidden protest, a certain part of the personality that is not ready/afraid for some reason. Which a woman herself cannot sometimes understand without the help of a specialist.

This is not surprising - after all, many do not even know that inside them there is that very unconscious, which is actually much more significant than consciousness, it also contains unconscious parts that people “repress” (forget) over time, various suppressed emotions that accumulate and create tension inside the body (and sometimes provoke physical disorders), family scenarios that are passed on at the behavioral and ideological level from generation to generation and create an accumulating internal prohibition on the topic of children and those fears that a woman may have acquired through her own experience.

Actually, this is how correction is possible - a search for those parts of the personality in the subconscious that for some reason resist pregnancy and a child, a search for those family scenarios that can block childbearing, a search for those suppressed emotions that could lead to tension in the body and physiological disorders . All this, together with a specialist, can be found and processed.

What can and should be done on your own?

Find a good specialist. I do not discount books, articles and other supporting materials. However, if I have seen more than once how books, articles, trainings, questions and answers helped people solve problems in relationships, strengthen self-esteem, help themselves in some way with fears, understand motives - then in the case of psychosomatics (and infertility is mainly and is solved within the framework of psychosomatic techniques) I have very rarely observed successful cases of self-help.

And this is understandable - as a rule, such material lies too deep in the psyche, and in such cases time is usually running out, and there is simply no time for a long search, reading a lot of literature, etc. I believe that in this case it is really better and faster to trust a specialist.

What is definitely worth doing is to prepare yourself for such work. Conduct a minimal educational program for yourself: what the unconscious is, how the human psyche generally works, what work with a psychologist is based on - this is definitely accessible and useful in such a situation.

Is there a difference between male and female infertility?

By and large - no. I have experience with both. The set of fears may differ, the family scenarios of a man and a woman will also have their own shades, naturally, but globally the structure itself is no different. There are always protesting parts of the personality in both a man and a woman, and they are always associated with some kind of threat, fear, which latently “closes” the possibility of childbearing. And the path of awareness of repressed feelings, scenarios and their elaboration is more universal than specifically gender-specific.

What is most important for me in this topic is that the result was quite measurable: children were born. Therefore, the best confirmation that this works is these facts, which can no longer be attributed to a “miracle” or an accident. Many of my clients (of both sexes) have had a long history of planning and unsuccessful attempts (including IVF), and in some cases have given up hope. But with hard work, it still worked out more often than not. And I am sincerely happy for those men and women who dared to go through this very difficult path to the end and become parents.

You can teach a person to communicate successfully, you can help him deal with fears, and get out of dependent relationships. This is all about what ALREADY EXISTS in the world and depends 100% on desire and perseverance.

Working with the family scenario, with accepting oneself as a woman, with the image of a mother and child, with true desires and fears, with relationships in a couple - all the paths are correct. Will they lead to the goal - the appearance of the desired child? For some - yes, for others - no. I remember the phrase of one priest: give time, space and opportunity for the divine to happen.

It’s not about enough effort, it’s not about putting everything and everyone in your life in order - rather, it’s about the humility to accept, the courage to wait, about faith and perseverance. Therefore, in my groups for women with reproductive difficulties, “Project_MOMA,” I always start by relieving anxiety; we work on the ability to withstand uncertainty and remove unnecessary control.

Before you accept the new, you need to let go of the old from your life. Learn to listen to yourself, and not a hundred pieces of advice around you. In such a difficult/complex/heavy problem as childlessness, there is a lack of...ease.

And without it, no strength will be enough to strive for years towards a cherished goal, while remaining a versatile, interesting person who knows how to accept the world as it is and move on.

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Infertility in the modern world is by no means a rare phenomenon. Medicine offers more and more advanced methods and methods of conception, from medication to “mechanical”. Many issues of inability to fertilize and miscarriage can be resolved by contacting a competent specialist. But what if the couple is absolutely healthy physically? What prevents a man and woman who dream of a child from having a baby?

The essence of psychological infertility

Psychologically, infertility is the inability of a completely healthy and physically compatible man and woman to conceive a child. In such cases, gynecologists vying with each other to assure the couple that there are no problems in their area, offering climate change or a visit to a family psychologist as therapy. Experts believe that the physiological sphere of life is much easier to treat than the psycho-emotional one. As it turns out, in order to taste the joy of motherhood, it is not enough to be physically healthy.

Psychological infertility does not depend on the physical characteristics of the couple

Causes

The main psychological causes of infertility in women are as follows:

• Fear of childbirth. Many women are terrified of pain during childbirth. This fear sometimes blocks the functioning of the genital organs, preventing conception.
• Fear of failure. Particularly relevant for women who have experienced a miscarriage. In this case, a new conception is hampered by the fear that the second pregnancy will end just as badly.
• Fear of changes in a woman's figure. A very common phobia in the modern world. Many women deliberately refuse the joys of motherhood for fear of ruining their figure. Often the body subconsciously prevents conception due to this fear.
• Fear of social change. Perhaps the most common fear of modern women. The birth of a child will change the life of a mother in one way or another. Career is relegated to the background, the woman becomes less socialized and more attached to the child. Often women deliberately delay the moment of conception, planning to do it after thirty years, having managed to build a career and enjoy travel. But when the decision to become pregnant finally matures, it may be impossible due to the woman’s persistent attachment to her lifestyle and reluctance to change anything.
• Fear of public opinion. It usually occurs in women who plan to raise a child without a father or when the age of the potential mother is much higher than generally accepted for motherhood.
• Pressure from relatives. Often married couples give in to persuasion from relatives, especially potential grandparents who dream of grandchildren. At the same time, the couple themselves are not ready for the birth of a child, moreover, they subconsciously do not want it. This moment is a barrier to conception.

The main reason for failures in matters of conception is all kinds of female fears.

Stages of infertility development at the psychological level

Psychological infertility usually affects women the most. This problem causes a whole range of emotions in failed mothers, most often negative. This disease develops in several stages.

Stages of development of psychological infertility

1. Shock stage	2. Denial	3. Guilt	4. Finding support
The woman seriously believes that her life is over. This is considered a normal reaction of the female body to shock, which is the news of infertility.	At this stage of development of the disease, the woman questions the doctor’s conclusion and denies her inability to conceive.	The woman will blame herself for the problem (especially if she had an abortion in the past), feels inferior, and failed. She may also feel guilty towards her husband.	In search of consolation, a woman can turn to higher powers, sometimes going to extremes (turning to religion, turning to fortune tellers, psychics, mediums, etc.)

The final stage of psychological infertility is an appeal to religion, higher powers

Views from leading doctors and scientists

A lot has been said about the psycho-emotional problem of infertility. Also, many various articles and treatises have been written on this subject. The works of such scientists and doctors are especially popular:

• N.N. Volkova. Author of the book “Entertaining psychogynecology”. Doctor of Psychology N. Volkova believes that 85% of cases of childlessness have a psychological basis. In her book, she describes in detail the causes of psychological infertility in women and methods for eliminating them.
• A. Meneghetti. Italian Doctor of Psychology. In his book “Psychosomatics” he touches on the problems of the impact of a person’s psychological state on his health, including reproductive health.
• Liz Burbo. Author of the bestselling book Listen to Your Body. The book describes in detail situations when psychological blocks get in the way of a happy and healthy life. A separate paragraph includes a description of the psychological causes of infertility.
• Bodo Baginski and Sharamon Shalila. Supporters of a new, increasingly popular movement - healing with the help of Reiki energy. Their book “Reiki - the universal energy of life” is gaining a large number of fans around the world.
• V. Sinelnikov. Domestic psychotherapist and homeopath. Author of a series of books, one of which is “Love your illness.” The author is sure that if a woman is infertile, there is something in her behavior that kills the soul of her potential child. An unusual look at psychogenic infertility and methods for solving the problem make Sinelnikov’s books very popular among Russian couples.
• O. Torsunov. Doctor, psychologist and esotericist, O.G. Torsunov explains what the psychosomatics of infertility in women is from the point of view of the ancient Indian Vedas.
• V. Zhikarentsev. Domestic philosopher, author of a number of books about man’s place in the Universe, the karmic laws of fate and the health problems of modern people. Looks at infertility from an unusual angle, describing in detail methods for getting rid of it.
• Louise Hay. The author of the affirmation method, who has written many books, including a work called “Heal Your Life.” It, among other diseases, describes the psychosomatic causes of infertility and methods of combating it.

Elimination of non-physiological causes of infertility

Perinatal psychologists know how to get rid of psychological problems with conception and recommend treatment using the following methods:

• Collective auto-training. Group classes will help a woman realize that she is not alone in her troubles. Surrounded by like-minded people, she will feel much more confident.
• Self-hypnosis method. It is a systematic pronunciation of positive attitudes.
• Visualization. Presentation of the final result. A woman imagines herself as pregnant, gradually instilling in her brain the advantages of this condition.

A woman can try to help herself on her own. The first thing to do is to honestly ask yourself the question - why does she need a child? In this situation, it is very important to wait for the baby selflessly, and not to achieve any social or moral goal.

It is worth giving up constant control of the situation - not “catching” ovulation, not counting the days, but simply living life to the fullest in accordance with your interests.

Useful literature

In addition to the indicated methods of treating psychological infertility, it would be useful to familiarize yourself with the literature on this problem. Popular books addressing this issue:

• O. Cover. "I want a baby";
• E. Kunitsa “Psychology of infertility”;
• Istratova E.A. “Is infertility a death sentence? or How I became a mother"
• R. Efimkina “How are you? I haven’t given birth yet” and many other works of domestic and foreign doctors and psychotherapists.

Elimination of psychological infertility, like any other disease, should be carried out under the supervision of specialists. Following medical instructions, believing in a positive result, and most importantly, sincere support and love from your partner can work wonders.

Psychological infertility as a key factor in problems with conceiving and bearing a child. The article will tell you how to identify it, what are the causes of its occurrence in men and women, and how to get rid of it.

The content of the article:

Psychological infertility is an acquired dysfunction of the reproductive system in women and men, which prevents couples from having a child. This factor can also cause problems with bearing a baby, frequent breakdowns and miscarriages. By finding out the reasons and understanding hidden fears, you can find the right keys to solving the problem.

Description and types of infertility

Infertility is a widespread problem facing humanity. Promiscuous sexual relations, unhealthy diet, violations of the day and night routine, stress and catastrophic ecology - these are the few indirect causes of this disease.

But before claiming that a couple is infertile, it is worth undergoing a comprehensive examination at a family planning center. To establish such a diagnosis, it is necessary to undergo a series of tests and genetic studies. A gynecologist-reproductologist or urologist will be able to assess the condition only after undergoing a comprehensive examination. It is important to note that not only the woman, but also the future father must undergo a complete diagnosis, because both parents are involved in the process of conception.

In reproductive medicine, there are 22 causes of female and 18 causes of male infertility. These include age-related, hormonal and genetic disorders. In some cases, a small adjustment with medications will be sufficient; in other cases, serious complex treatment will be required.

However, recently, couples who are almost completely healthy, but cannot conceive, are increasingly turning to doctors. Moreover, doctors begin to talk about infertility only after a year of cohabitation and regular sexual intercourse. If a health problem cannot be identified, the couple is diagnosed with “infertility of unknown etiology” or psychological.

An unknown diagnosis is very scary. Naturally, the question arises of how to get rid of psychological infertility. You should start by identifying the reasons that led to such consequences.

The main causes of psychological infertility

Every person is afraid of something in their life. For one it is a fear of heights, for another it is a fear of flying. But it’s still strange when a woman is afraid of getting pregnant. An idea that arises in the head grows into a threat to the body, which provokes the inability to conceive. The psychological factor of infertility does not arise by itself. It is raised by a number of internal concerns. And both women and men are subject to such fears.

Causes of psychological infertility in women

Being a mother is happiness. However, some women in their subconscious put a taboo on having a child. For this purpose, there are natural or acquired fears that provoke the occurrence of psychological infertility. These include:

• Fear of being alone. Many women fear that their husband may leave them with a baby in their arms. This fact is practically instilled in the pages of fashion magazines and is confirmed by the unsuccessful examples of divorced friends: a man needs a child as long as he needs a woman.
• Fear of the pregnancy process itself. There are girls whose own sense of self is not commensurate with the child inside. For them, pregnancy is something like an intervention in the inner world, although they have great sympathy for other people's children. It is this psychological type that would rather use the services of a surrogate mother than decide to give birth himself.
• Worries about your health and your unborn child. When diagnosed with certain diseases, representatives of the fairer sex themselves are afraid to become pregnant, so as not to infect their children (for example, AIDS). Also, strong pressure on the susceptible psyche comes from TV screens and social network posts, where people are constantly asked to provide help for a seriously ill child. The woman seems to begin to try the situation on herself, and she is seized with panic. She is afraid that trouble may happen to her too, and she does not have enough mental and physical strength to go through all the tests.
• Fear of childbirth. There is a myth that there can be no greater pain in a woman's life than labor pains. Some are afraid that they will not be able to endure the contractions or, what is more, that they will die on the maternity table without ever seeing their baby. It is this psychological type of personality that, if it gets pregnant, often loses the child. And in case of successful pregnancy, she will ask for a caesarean section, just so as not to experience pain.
• Fear of losing achieved career results. There is a fairly large group of prejudices, which includes the fear of unemployment and lack of demand. After all, during maternity leave a younger, prettier and more confident girl may arrive. It is easy to imagine, if she still turns out to be a strong specialist, in whose favor the choice will be made at the end of the maternity leave. And since the majority work unofficially, it is very easy to lose a job, because the company is not burdened with legal obligations.
• Worries about being obsessed with a child. This fear is generated by the stories of tired mothers who have no time for themselves or their spouses, and whose main desire in life is to sleep. If a girl actively communicates with at least a couple of such friends, while leading a busy and cheerful life, she is unlikely to consciously want to change everything for the sake of the imaginary happiness of motherhood.
• Fear of ruining your figure. Postpartum forms are what women fear most. Stretch marks, greasy belly, cellulite legs and much more - and this is not a complete list of possible changes. After giving birth, girls quickly begin to gain excess weight and subsequently have a very difficult time losing it, which is the result of a hormonal imbalance or a hereditary trait. All this scares them. Especially those who are not used to limiting themselves in food and regularly going to the gym or have already heard reproaches from men towards their “blurry” wives.
• Fear of public opinion. This applies, for example, to women over 35 years old or, conversely, too young. Similar emotions appear when the expectant mother is embarrassed by her sexual partner (for example, there is a serious difference in age or income).
• Parental pressure from both sides. Sometimes we just don’t want to follow someone’s lead and do everything according to someone else’s instructions. So the body, in response to the emotional protest, also decided to go on strike.
• Childhood psychological trauma. If a girl had younger brothers and sisters, she was constantly forced to study with them, this limited her freedom. At a young age, she wants to take a walk, live for herself, and not again go through the constant demands and requests of little toddlers.
• Excessive desire to become a mother. Paradoxically, this reason also becomes a kind of protection for performing the main female function - procreation.
• Problems in relationships with the future father, stress. If a couple quarrels violently, then makes peace, and there is constant stress in their lives, they will not be able to conceive. In such relationships, the body protects itself, saving a reserve in case the situation worsens.

Attention! An unsuccessful first pregnancy experience, ending in the loss of a child, can become the main cause of psychological infertility for many years. A woman is simply in her subconscious afraid to relive this nightmare of losing her baby, especially if during this difficult time she did not find support from her loved ones and went through everything herself.

Causes of psychological infertility in men

Paradoxically, in 30-40% of cases the main problem with conception lies with the man. And although the psychological causes of infertility are not so significant, they should not be written off:

1. Fear of losing attention. Yes, many married men are looking for a new mother who will look after them, take care of them and feed them delicious food. They simply do not want to share her attention with anyone else, including their child.
2. Psychological immaturity. Usually such men have quite funny hobbies, they are interested in everything that teenagers do. Since they are children themselves, there is no place for a baby in their life. This reason has something in common with the first; they are often combined.
3. Fear of global change. Sleepless nights, walks not with a loved one, but with a stroller in any weather, crying and diapers - all this scares many representatives of the stronger sex no less than women. After all, as a real gentleman, he will have to help his wife, but as an infantile person, he simply does not want to do this.
4. Financial insolvency. Everyone who communicates with young parents knows that children require serious expenses, not only moral, but also material. If a man is not confident in his abilities and is worried about the stability of his income, he may subconsciously block his desire to become a father.
5. Doomed to a stable and measured lifestyle. Usually this reason is typical for romantics with big plans. They dream of conquering Everest and jumping off a cliff, but they realize that with a small child all their plans will not come true. And the heir will take their best years for himself.

All of the above motives and prejudices only provoke the creation of protracted stressful situations in the life of a couple, which has formed a certain block in the consciousness. There are often situations when a partner’s unrealized desire to become a parent simply leads to a decision to break off a childless union.

Consequences of psychological infertility of a couple

Not all couples who are unable to conceive can live without children. In many ways, pressure from the public plays an important role in this (“What, you don’t have children yet? Yes, at your age I already had three!”, “And look how happy Masha is with her offspring. What are you waiting for?” etc.). Unfortunately, few people have a natural sense of tact. Psychological infertility in women is only aggravated under the influence of such “helpers.” Most of them prefer to get into the soul and give important, in their opinion, advice.

The consequences of the problem of psychological infertility for a couple can be:

• Feeling deeply depressed. Unfulfilled motherhood and fatherhood drives you into a dead end, forcing yourself to be mentally “eaten” by thoughts about why others can, but we can’t.
• Closedness. I especially want to close myself off from those who endlessly give out the right advice and guidance, shamelessly trying to get into someone else’s soul. And when the humorous arguments end, the couple simply withdraws into their own world.
• Isolation from the company. If all your friends already have children, they gradually begin to move away from the infertile couple. They have fewer and fewer topics to talk about, and it becomes more and more difficult to organize joint leisure time.
• Parting. If one of the partners simply cannot accept such a situation and sees no way out, then the couple has practically no chance of a future together.

Attention! Even if you have been diagnosed with “Psychological infertility”, do not despair! There is always a way out, just not in every case it will be standard.

Features of the treatment of psychological infertility

Without understanding the true reasons for such a diagnosis, it is quite difficult to correct anything. Many people cannot even imagine that the body is actually malfunctioning due to hidden fears and blocks. Nobody wants to admit their imperfection and inability to bear children. Acquired panic only aggravates everything: it reduces the ability of the epithelium to implant the fertilized egg and secure it before birth or the number of active sperm produced. There is practically no chance of conceiving, as it becomes a vicious circle. If a couple has heard such a diagnosis, they need to start working on themselves.

Independent struggle with psychological infertility

It can be difficult to identify the causes even in yourself, much less get rid of them. But in many ways, the treatment of psychological infertility will depend solely on your mood. It is important not only to follow the proposed scheme, but also to independently change your attitude towards the problem. The couple just needs to switch gears and relax. If you don’t know how to change the situation, change your attitude towards it.

You should start with simple, but at the same time understandable changes:

1. Experiments in bed. A couple obsessed with conception loses all the passion in their relationship. They begin to have sexual activity according to a schedule, clearly adjusting to the days of ovulation. First we need to break this system. You can try a new position, role-playing games, change your usual environment and place of sex. Perhaps it is necessary to show more affection and care to each other. Just mechanical movements can give results, but to increase the chances, romance will not be superfluous.
2. Change the scenery. Many couples just need a break from the usual bustle of the city. This does not mean moving or living in another region for a long time. Sometimes even a week-long vacation on the shores of a warm sea will be enough to invigorate your senses and shake up your body. The main thing is to spend this time with benefit for the soul and body, and not with thoughts about the child, enjoy each other, confess your feelings and make love. Only such a favorable and comfortable environment can contribute to the conception of a baby.
3. Make repairs. This is not just a change of scenery, it is also a long-term process that will captivate you and help you relieve stress at least temporarily, switch gears and relax.
4. Find a new hobby together. The couple needs to communicate and visit interesting places. The discovery of something new may change your perspective on many things.
5. Have a heart to heart talk. Sometimes, in the process of emotional communication, one of the partners will accidentally, unexpectedly even for himself, express the true cause of fear. In this case, it will be easier to resolve the situation by finding out everything and sorting it out.

Important! Many couples can actually conceive a child, but only after they completely let go of the situation and stop thinking about it.

Psychological assistance to couples with infertility

But if your own strength is not enough, then you should seek help from a specialist. It is he who will provide comprehensive treatment of deep-seated psychological problems and blocks. The couple will be offered:

• Joint and individual sessions to identify the root of the problem. Often young people themselves do not realize why they have difficulty conceiving. With the help of a specialist, you can not only find the problem, but also ways to solve it. This is especially important for couples who have experienced a miscarriage, the loss of a child late in life, or at the very beginning of life.
• Visiting orphanages and shelters. Some couples are simply afraid to be alone with their children. Volunteering on the advice of a psychologist will remove barriers. The method is also suitable for those who are afraid to take responsibility.
• Establishing relationships between spouses. A psychologist will help you regain your former passion, restore harmony and understanding of each other. After all, partners often withdraw into themselves, losing their spiritual connection, because they cannot forgive either themselves or their partner for the lack of children, the inability to live “like everyone else.”
• Help in accepting the situation. A qualified specialist will teach you to react to one strip not as a disaster, but as another chance to try again.

Qualified psychological help will clarify how to cope with psychological infertility. By making an appointment with a perinatal psychologist, it will be possible to identify pitfalls in the couple’s relationship, and with the right adjustments, it will be possible to eliminate the problem. Its main purpose is to identify hidden causes of deviation and advise the necessary measures for psychocorrection of identified phobias and blocks.

Non-standard methods of dealing with psychological infertility

If there is no qualified specialist, and nothing works out on your own, it’s time to think about what you can consider in other situations to become happy parents:

1. ECO. If the partners are healthy, in vitro fertilization can be tried. Of course, the procedure is not cheap, but peace of mind, as well as the chance to become parents, are much more important.
2. Adoption. Many desperate couples come up with the idea of ​​adopting a child from an orphanage. Having become parents of an adopted baby, they become convinced of their abilities, overcome hidden blocks and phobias that previously did not allow them to have a baby. Having enjoyed all the delights of a full-fledged family, women themselves do not notice how they become pregnant naturally without outside intervention. Of course, it’s not easy to decide on this, but you can take the example of happy celebrity couples and their children, talk with adoptive parents, watch films on this topic and visit an orphanage.

How to get rid of psychological infertility - watch the video:

Despite the obvious way out of the current situation, without realizing it, many completely refuse to solve the problem of psychological infertility, depriving themselves and their loved one of the opportunity to become parents. Do not despair, because there is always still a chance, and you need to take advantage of it. And in the fight for your happiness, all means are good!