Go to new class- a responsible and exciting event, especially if you came to a long-established team with your own rules and customs. You immediately feel how your every step and spoken word come under close attention. How can you quickly get used to and win over your classmates so as not to feel like a loner?

They don’t go to a foreign monastery with their charter

In the early days, it is better to take the position of an observer: just look and do not rush to draw conclusions. You run the risk of making enemies for yourself if you start criticizing the existing order from the threshold and loudly remarking: “What a Stone Age! Everything was much better in my old school!” “What is this, lunch? This is the first time I see such bad food!” Even if you're right, no one wants to hear it. At best, you will be delicately offered to go back to your ideal school.

Kindness and activity are your main weapon

Don't wait for someone to get to know you. Approach people first, introduce yourself and ask them to help you get comfortable: “Hi, girls! I'm new, I don't know anything here and I'm a little shy. Can you tell me what is here and how? Few can resist such captivating sincerity. You will definitely be helped. But it is important not to slip into sycophancy. To join the team, you do not need to pretend that you like everything that your new classmates love, whether it be musical groups or actors. Be yourself, and true friends will definitely be found.

And if it’s not you who moved to another school, but a new one came to your class,.

Call everyone by name

Psychologists say that people are pleased to hear their name. Take advantage of this and often call classmates by name. They will appreciate it and treat you with more sympathy.

Don't rush and take it step by step

Don't expect everyone to love you right away. Be patient and follow a few beginner rules:

Don't complain unnecessarily.

Don't talk too personal about yourself.

Avoid gossip and don't label. You don't know anyone yet, and first impressions can be deceiving.

Be friendly, but don't curry favor with anyone.

Learn more about how to avoid problems at school in our helpful video:

Feel free to ask for help

Feel free to borrow a pen from a classmate, ask to rewrite a lesson you missed, or explain an incomprehensible topic to you. People like to feel useful, and you are unlikely to be refused.

Chat with classmates after class

Try to spend some time in the yard, chat with classmates outside of class. Do not be shy, ask them for phone numbers, leave yours, there is always a reason to call, just do not abuse their time and attention.

And you quickly fall into new team and make friends?

Do you want to look good? Watch our video on how to take care of your hair at home.

Hello. I don't have much a good relationship with classmates. We don't fight or anything like that, but I don't get close to anyone. It bothers me at times. But it's impossible to get closer

There are no friends among classmates, but in general there are. My favorite subjects are geography, biology. In class, not during breaks, I feel a little lonely because almost everyone communicates, talks, and I'm usually on the sidelines. This is probably due to my character, I would like to participate in conversations, etc., but I'm afraid to climb into the formed groups, which may not be accepted. How to make friends with classmates?

If I understand you correctly, you don't have a bad relationship with your classmates, you just don't have a relationship with your classmates.

And there is at the same time a desire to communicate or a desire to belong to some group (in groups it is still calmer and safer, and more interesting than alone) and the fear of rejection by classmates.

Such fear may be related to some childhood experience when you approached a parent and received such rejection. Or perhaps there was some kind of traumatic situation. This happens when there is no close or trusting relationship with parents, and the reaction of other people - classmates, for example, is felt so important and valuable that it is scary to contact them at all and be noticeable.

• Do not start by embedding in groups right away, but start with individual communication. It is always easier - you can choose the person you are interested in and the one who seems the most secure.
• To be sincerely interested in this person is to think and imagine what you would like to know from him. In general, people are quite pleased when they are interested in their opinion and life, and such a sincere interest can develop into a dialogue.
• If there are any, take part in school projects where you can communicate together based on some kind of shared interest.
• In addition to school, develop other interests and visit places where you feel good, where you can have friends with the same interests. The school occupies such a large piece of living space that it becomes very important, self-respect and self-esteem begin to depend on it. Therefore, it can help to feel better if there is a place somewhere else that will support you.
• If possible, go to psychological group meetings for teenagers. For example, there are such people in the Perekrestok center (this is if you are in Moscow), I heard a lot of good things about him. There are also psychological camps.
• If there is a person in your environment who is sincerely interested in you, takes you seriously, pay attention to your feelings in his presence. Talk to him about what worries you, perhaps he will share his experience or support you in another way.

I can also say that even if you manage to make friends with classmates, there is nothing to worry about. I remember about my school experience that almost the same people surrounded me from kindergarten to graduation. And I, too, was scared and at the same time wanted to join them. But in the end, I had one friend in the class for the whole school and a nice company in the children's newspaper to which I wrote. Relations with classmates did not work out then, but I began to communicate with someone 10 years after graduation. Even then, the feeling that I was a journalist helped. This was an occasion to communicate with someone with whom I wanted to.

In general, I remember that for most of my teenage life I felt a lot of fear, shame and guilt, I was very anxious. And this part of life undoubtedly had a great influence on me, I did not choose the job of a psychologist by chance, but because I noticed how great psychology improves my inner state. I lead to the fact that despite all these difficulties in adolescence, I was able to be successful at work, make friends, travel, get married. And in the end - start taking myself seriously, respect myself, treat myself well, tell others that I'm interested in them and ask for different companies.

Adolescence is not the easiest period for both children and moms and dads. We have already told. But children have difficulties in communicating not only with adults, but also with classmates. We have selected 13 tips to help teens communicate with their peers. These psychological tricks will be useful for parents as well.

1. If you understand that the interlocutor lied or hid information, do not ask additional questions and do not ask again - just look carefully into his eyes. Such a technique will force the counterpart to tell the unsaid.

3. Parents are important. This is especially true in adolescence, when every comment can be taken very close. Teach your teen how to soften criticism. If he knows that unflattering reviews are inevitable, let him get as close as possible to the one who will criticize. So the person will soften and will give less negative information than if the teenager was further away from him.

4 . An important test, a speech in front of a large audience, and even just the first declaration of love - all this can be exciting for a teenager. How to deal with anxiety? Chew gum. Chewing is associated with eating. And we eat mostly at home, that is, in a native and safe place. With the help of chewing gum, you can deceive the brain and create a "home" atmosphere for it.

5. Even with the strongest excitement in exams and other teenage situations, a proven method will help - imagine that your opponent is your close friend. So you will feel calmer and easier to establish contact with the interlocutor.

6. Another topical issue adolescence- first love. There is a proven way to reveal the sympathy of a particular person: when everyone in the company laughs, pay attention to who is looking at whom. In such a situation, each person subconsciously looks at the one who is most attractive to him. So keep an eye out, maybe you will understand who should send .

7. If someone is not very pleasant to you, but communication cannot be stopped in any way, try to express more joy when meeting this person: smile, pronounce his name with special warmth. With this practice, the attitude towards a person will really change for the better.

8. Adolescence is a time of conflict. But if a tense situation arose in a room with mirrors, stand so that the mirror is behind you, and the interlocutors are opposite you. So they will see their reflection. And who wants to look angry and dissatisfied? Nobody. So your counterparts will try to behave more calmly.

9. A proven way to get the attention of a person you like: look carefully at an object located directly behind his shoulders. As soon as the object of sympathy pays attention to you, look into his eyes and smile slightly.

10 . Another way to win over a person is to look into his eyes. When you meet, just determine his eye color. Making eye contact is conducive to you, and you can get the sympathy of the person you like.

At least once in your life you have already had to join a new team. And most likely, more than once, but much more: Kindergarten, first class, party in the yard, courses at the institute ...

Then why is it such a worrying event to move to another school? Let's try to figure it out: how to quickly and easily find mutual language with new classmates?

They are greeted by clothes ...

Although clothes are not the main thing in a person, the first impression of you largely depends on your appearance.

It is important to follow one rule: if in your old company you could appear in jeans torn at the knee and boots on a giant platform, then in your current position as “new” this may be the impetus for the impression of you as a girl who does not particularly care about his appearance. Or look like a statement that you are a desperate daredevil who is knee-deep in the sea. And is this really so?

On the other hand, to appear before new acquaintances as a kind of “good girl” in frills and looking at the floor means to rush to the other extreme. Naturalness has always been and will be the main trump card and the surest way to win the favor of people.

Naturalness, of course, means not only the clothes that you choose, but also your makeup, and mannerisms, and communication style. You should not try to immediately become your own with the help of slang words, too loud laughter, or the desire to please everyone in a row, solving the control options for tasks for yourself and your desk neighbors. It still won't work. And the fact that you care too much about what they think of you will be immediately visible - and it will not add any pluses.

Observe the behavior of others: who behaves freely and uninhibitedly (within reasonable limits, of course), and who pretends and unnaturally tries to be better than he really is. You yourself will quickly understand who is worth taking an example from, and who is not ...

Taste and color...

It may turn out that most of the guys and girls in the class are united by a common hobby that is absolutely alien to you. For example, they are fans of domestic pop music, and the sounds of Russian rock are dearer to your heart. Or they don't miss a single football match with the participation of the city team, and you are interested in rhythmic gymnastics... Is everything lost? Not at all!

First of all, it is worth trying to share the general hobby. And what if this football is not so boring as you always thought? This does not mean that you need to break yourself and adapt to the majority. But to try to delve deeper into what the environment close to you lives from now on is still worth it.

If you realize that pop music and a noisy crowd at the stadium are not your thing at all, you should not despair either. Perhaps the guys just don't know how exciting watching gymnastic pirouettes can be? Invite them to tea at your house and turn on the broadcast in between. Or campaign to attend a concert of a band you like.

Even the situation when, thanks to your interests, you look like a "black sheep" is not so terrible as it might seem at first glance. Surely there are people nearby who understand and support you, and classmates can appreciate something completely different - your sense of humor and responsiveness.

The teacher is always right.

If the teacher is wrong, read first.

No matter how your communication with classmates develops, a lot depends on the attitude of the school “bosses” towards you in the faces of teachers. Here, of course, it is simpler: when you know the subject well, or at least try to navigate the topic of the lesson as best as possible, while behaving politely and correctly, the teacher will undoubtedly appreciate this and mentally mark you as a diligent and capable student .

If in your old school you were taught in a different program, or it turned out that you were a little behind in knowledge, in no case should you hide it. "Tails" so quickly tighten that you do not have time to look back, as you find yourself in the ranks of the lagging behind. Go to the teacher and say directly what your problem is, don't be afraid of it. Maybe you will have to attend an elective or take a few individual lessons, and you can also agree that in the next week you will not be called to the board, giving you the opportunity to catch up with the class on your own.

At the same time, no matter how well the teachers receive you, if friction arises with one of your classmates, you should not immediately raise your hand and complain. No one likes a snitch, not even those who are snitched on!

They say that people acquire the closest and most faithful friends who remain close for many years while studying at school and college. You still have a university ahead of you, but there is not much time left before graduation. Therefore, you need to live it in such a way that only light and bright memories remain about this carefree period later.

You are new - but it will not last long, and soon you will finally get used to the new circle, but you will receive an indispensable lesson in the art of diplomacy, which you can only rejoice at.

To date, the question of how to find a common language with classmates has taken the form of a communication problem among students.

This has become one of the most pressing topics, since according to studies conducted by school psychologists, more than 50% of students cannot find a common language with their classmates.

Communication with peers is a very important part of the knowledge of the world and self-knowledge.

Each person is individual, he has his own inner world, he has his own character and his own characteristics. This is important to remember and take into account when communicating with peers.

Communication is an art and not everyone succeeds in establishing contact with people around them, and, moreover, making friends. It is even more difficult for schoolchildren, as children tend to express emotions more vividly, fully, clearly and less prone to flexibility in communication. This is further complicated by the fact that often children are cruel towards others, and especially if they feel that their comrade is weaker. Thus, they raise their self-esteem, often not thinking about the feelings of others.

Rejection by the team is very hard experienced by children, as this is their main circle of communication and interests, the main opportunity for self-realization and recognition, acceptance by society. Non-acceptance into one's team can be expressed by the group both by ignoring and by physical violence. Such a negative attitude on the part of significant people for the child has a traumatic effect on his mental state.

In order for the child to successfully join the school team, be accepted by classmates and find friends, it is necessary to be interesting to others. To be accepted, you yourself need to learn to accept people, with their character and characteristics.

Adaptation in a team largely depends on the child's self-esteem, the more adequate it is, the easier it is for him to find a common language with the members of the team.

Children express their emotions very openly and feel false. Therefore, you should not try to earn the attention of classmates with flattery and fawning, no one will like it and will give a completely opposite result.

In cases where children show verbal aggression in the form of name-calling, accusations, insults, thereby trying to humiliate the interlocutor and raise their self-esteem at his expense, you should try to get away from this kind of contact and in no case engage in verbal skirmishes, since victory is already initially on the side of the attacker.

You need to speak calmly, confidently, clearly express your thoughts and desires.

It should be interesting for others to communicate with the child, so you need to expand the range of interests by visiting various circles, sections. Thus, the child's horizons will expand, he will have something to interest the team and something to talk about. It will also allow him to communicate not only with his class, but also to find friends with the same interests.

In order to be able to keep up a conversation with classmates, you need to find out what they are interested in and try to ask about it too, then there will be something to talk about at breaks.

It is necessary to develop the child in different directions, then the child himself will be able to set topics for conversation and be interesting to the team.

Another component of constructive communication is flexibility. You should not be too categorical, you should show loyalty to classmates, but at the same time be stable and defend your opinion.

Organization joint activities very close. Therefore, it is worth doing a common thing or arranging joint leisure time, spending time together and preferably outside the school and class, this will allow each child to show themselves from a new side and be interesting to classmates.