Some girls long and stubbornly try to start a serious relationship, but for some reason grooms run away from them like from fire. There seems to be no apparent reason for this, but in the strangest way they are pursued by failures in love affairs. Such disappointments, naturally, spoil life and poison existence. It is doubly tragic if the grooms run away when the preparations for the wedding have already begun. What to do? First of all, take a critical look at yourself. Even if you think that you do not belong to any of these categories, then you make that impression on men.

The kept woman loves rich men and generous gifts, due to which she lives. She never meets the first person she meets. Usually there are lovers who support her. As a rule, these are "daddies" of a respectable age who are pleased to see a beautiful young girl next to them. But this is only a temporary phenomenon. Every man wants to be appreciated and loved not only for a tight wallet. However, for dubious pleasures that can be received for free, as a rule, they also do not pay for a long time.

Mother

A domineering person always wants to push around someone. She solves literally all problems for a man, from employment to a broken tap. But next to her, he would never feel like a man. Mother does not respect other people's freedom and does not give anyone the right to vote. You cannot count on harmonious relationships and tender feelings with her, and men perfectly feel it intuitively.

Bitch

The bitch is used to walking over corpses, not noticing anything around. She is self-confident, calculating and selfish, always taking good care of herself. The bitch will get her way at any cost. A man for her is a tool to achieve a goal, nothing more. With her, he will feel like on a peacefully dormant volcano, never knowing what to expect next. There are extreme people who love the thrill. But most men want to be confident in the future.

Mama's daughter

Mama's daughter is an infantile person with an old-fashioned outlook on life. She is too romantic, not independent, can burst into tears at any moment over a trifle and loves to arrange performances. Such a girl listens to the advice of her beloved mother in everything, is not able to make decisions. This type of girl can cause affection if she is 16. But ladies "over 30", as a rule, have no chance. It is unlikely that a man wants to have a mother-in-law who meddles in his family affairs and commands. He will constantly feel like a third person.

Ice-cold

A cold, proud person makes men bewildered. A woman should be moderately emotional. And the murderous indifference and condescending smile from above is a guarantee that the man will run away at the first opportunity. Don't be afraid to be yourself. Charm is one of the main virtues of a woman. If you do not have one, then your chances of getting married are also small.

If you find in yourself a resemblance to one of these types, then this does not mean at all that all is lost. You just need to take note and change. And there will definitely be a man who will offer you to marry.

My friend Lenka is still not married. And she is scared to even think, let alone say - she is already 29 years old. No, I, who got married at 20 with a ponytail, do not see a problem in her situation, but she herself is terribly worried about this. She can hear a disgusting voice behind her: "Hee-hee, the old maid has gone."

Of course, no one thinks so, because our Lenka looks amazing - a young, well-groomed, fashionably dressed girl. But there is no confidence in the look, and the one who is looking for this look, examining and studying, studying every man he meets - and suddenly it is he who will call you in marriage!

In order to make a successful shot, a good sniper needs to take good aim, throwing aside annoying thoughts like "I will hit - I will not hit".

In relationships, the same can happen: if you allow fear to influence your actions, nothing good will come of it. Especially when it comes to such an important life step as choosing a partner. And the results in case of failure can also be compared with the work of a sniper: how to get out of a marriage with a knowingly unloved husband can be problematic, and after an unsuccessful shot, there will be no opportunity to reload the rifle and shoot again - the time is wasted.

The author of the article also says that if a girl is left alone for a long time, then over time she begins to doubt her attractiveness, and this scares men away from relationships with her. In fact, the reasons for this loneliness can go much deeper.

It would seem that if a woman is beautiful, attractive, well-groomed, her chances of finding a partner should be great enough. The idea that “for ten girls, according to statistics, there are nine guys” is better to forget - this is pure rationalization. There are reasons for everything, even if we do not see these reasons.

In fact, the situation when men for some reason bypass you is a worthwhile reason to seek the advice of a psychologist. It is not at all necessary that "what is wrong" is with you. But it is possible that a woman who has been without a partner for a long time, unconsciously sends certain signals to the surrounding acquaintances and unfamiliar men that, for some reason, establishing a relationship with her is not very possible.

For what reasons can this happen? There can be a lot of them: starting with difficult family and birth scenarios (which are often called the "crown of celibacy") and ending with complex women, which are not yet completed on an unconscious level, which means that new ones cannot begin, so there is a place for the future in a woman's soul a partner has not yet appeared, that is, the woman is psychologically closed to new relationships.

In consultation with an experienced psychologist or psychotherapist, it is usually possible to find the reason why the woman is not in a relationship. Then it becomes clear what needs to be done in order to correct the situation. And at this moment, the point of view of her loneliness for a woman changes dramatically: from a passive object that just waits for attention, she turns into an active person who understands much better what is happening in his psychological life and is ready to work on in order to change the situation.

Some ladies in their 30s go down the aisle for the fifth time, while others have never tried on a wedding dress. Woman’s Day decided to find out from the Petersburg men which girl they would never offer a hand and a heart to.

“I want to get married,” a colleague moaned for the hundredth time, a clever girl, a beauty and just the soul of the company. But for now, if Barbara is called to the registry office, then only as a bridesmaid. But the representatives of the stronger sex are in no hurry to propose marriage and marriage to the grave.

What qualities of a girl will scare away candidates for potential husbands once and for all? After all, even the “white and fluffy” one who knows how to cross-stitch and bake delicious pies may never wait for her “prince on a white horse” or, rather, his squire. We decided to find out from the men themselves which girl will never be called in to marry.

Denis Safonov, 47 years old, married

Denis Safonov

I would never propose to a stupid woman who possesses at least one of the following negative qualities: she looks at Dom-2, takes pictures of her food and puts it on the Internet, does not see the difference between “tsya” and “tsya”. Also, I could not marry or propose to a fat woman or a woman with very large breasts.

Nikolay, 32 years old, married

I like women, in principle, and I tend to see them as advantages, not disadvantages. Therefore, if I was free and longed for bonds, I would be ready to marry very many.

As far as I know my unmarried and / or problematic environment, the grinding is mainly due to the fact that young ladies themselves often do not understand what they want. And is it exactly what they want called "married." The institution of marriage itself, in principle, is becoming obsolete in its classical form, and its “thirst” is often more a stereotype imposed by society than a real inner need of a woman. That is, she thinks she wants to get married, but they don't take her. But in fact, she does not want to go there, she is simply convinced that she should want to. Outwardly, it looks different, but more often than not, as if any man on the horizon “does not fit my ideas / requirements”.

Nicolas Munyeshuli, 28, bachelor

Nicolas Munyeshuli

"Girls are different," sang the group "Reckless Scammers" in the middle of the 2000s. And here men really, more than ever, have room for maneuver. However, any girl, whether she is blonde or brunette, with small breasts or a voluminous size 4, should have taste - in life, art, family life, clothes, and so on. Without this quality, girls turn into a “body” with characteristic gender characteristics. And I personally have nothing to do with such a girl. Especially in marriage ...

Ilya, 29 years old, bachelor

I will not propose to a woman with a "bad" reputation: walking, mercantile, unreliable. Using drugs, alcohol. With obsessions generally bypass the side. However, I don't need a "white and fluffy" wife either. I’m not marrying a picture of an “ideal hostess”, but a real person with whom I can also have a heart-to-heart talk. And I will send a lady who will drip on the brain with constant reproaches on an "erotic" trip or in search of an ideal.

Mikhail Vasiliev, 36 years old, bachelor

Mikhail Vasiliev

First of all, I would not marry a woman who does not look after herself. But even those who do it too much (pumped up like men, with pouty "duck" lips, etc.) will not wait for a marriage proposal from me. I will not marry religious freaks, bitches, young "princes" who believe that everyone and everything owes them everything. I am not ready to marry a divorced woman with children, especially when the father of the children is "alive, healthy and well-fed."

What to do if loneliness is “well-written”?

Well, who does not know beautiful, smart, kind, household girls who will never marry, although they seem to only dream of a family and a reliable male shoulder? Or maybe you yourself are one of those?

Astropsychologist Ruslana BAYULOVA tells about why the villainous fate does not allow her to meet her betrothed and how to deceive her.

• P rule 1. First give, then take
• Rule 2. Respect someone else's love
• Rule 3. Do not look at someone else's
• Rule 4. Do not interfere in other people's relationships
• Rule 5. Do not be angry with fate

In the modern world, the problem of single women, it would seem, is not a problem at all. A whole army of specialists is ready to answer the most burning question: "Why am I alone?" The solutions are assumed to be very different, ranging from simple (immediately buy a magic talisman in a TV store, change wardrobe, lose weight) and ending with complex multi-stage work with a psychologist. But often even an experienced psychotherapist is powerless. No, all the woman's internal problems have been resolved, she reconciled with her parents, forgave the grievances of her first love, she is open to the world and is not fixated on relationships ...

” So, fashionably dressed, slender, relaxed ... there is very little left - to agree with fate and follow a few simple rules that she secretly establishes.

Rule 1. Give first, then take

Probably, everyone understands that the game should not go with one goal. If you are given something, you must give something in return. However, the laws of fate are such that it is not necessary to return the good to the donor and not necessarily in return. For example, at first, parents take care of their children while they are weak, helpless, and only demand the best for themselves, but then in old age it is the children who become the support for the elderly parents. This is how gratitude is carried over in time. Another example: in a wealthy family, where the husband takes care of the welfare of the household, the wife cannot thank him in kind, but she can do charity work, becoming for other people what her husband has become for her.

But what does marriage have to do with it, you ask? In fact, everything is simple: as soon as you start giving, those who are ready to give will be attracted to you. Take a look around, for sure someone else needs your care, for example, elderly distant relatives or neighbors. If there is no one weak, requiring help in your environment, you can join a volunteer organization.

” Important: Try to be sincere in your impulses. If you visit an elderly neighbor "from under the stick", pondering how many visits will still have to be made in order to buy a prince on a white horse from fate, the prince will only be delayed.

Rule 2. Respect someone else's love

Even women who are happy in marriage sometimes slander their girlfriends, and even magazine celebrities. How did such an ugly girl manage to pick up such a smart guy? What is this handsome man doing next to the old woman? Why did Sveta from the accounting department with two children marry so successfully, she is older, fatter, dumber?

” Important: do not slander, but sincerely rejoice with all your heart, even for a couple from the cover of a glossy magazine, which you had never cared about before. Yes, not every love story is perfect from our point of view; but if the prince chooses a frog as his wife, it means that he met Vasilisa the Beautiful! Greet other people's feelings as well as yours.

Rule 3. Do not look at someone else's

Sometimes in our thoughts we even "try on" other people's husbands, we think that we would be much better companions in life, and certainly would not make the same mistakes that their wives. It seems so innocent, but in reality it makes no difference for fate whether you flirt with another man in dreams or not.

Perhaps you will now say that you know many examples when married couples parted for the sake of new happiness, and the subsequent marriage was much more successful than the previous one. This is true, but such a relationship is always based on sincere and strong love. And mentally sorting out other people's husbands, like dresses in a supermarket, thinking which one is more suitable for new shoes and a handbag is strictly contraindicated.

” Important: do not evaluate other people's wives and husbands, do not look for flaws in someone else's family life. You don't know everything that happens between loving people. Accept married couples for who they are.

Rule 4. Do not interfere in other people's relationships

Even if you yourself never think about relationships in other people's families, it is difficult to refrain from criticism when a close friend or girlfriend comes to you and begins to complain about your soul mate. How can you not resist and join the criticism, especially if you yourself think that your interlocutor deserves the best? “You’ll find yourself a million more of them, and you’ll find a better one, but why do you need him, he doesn’t earn money, he looks at other women, he doesn’t appreciate you! ...” None of such mediation has yet ended in success. No, of course you can contribute to the separation of the couple. But the promise "you will find another, better", alas, is not feasible. Either he will not find, or he will find the same thing, and even he will blame you!

But what if you, for example, see that your friend may become or has already become a victim of domestic violence? Give her shelter, find a suitable family counseling center, but don't lasso her to a divorce lawyer. Whatever decision it makes - it must be her decision.

” Important: reconcile people, not quarrel. If a friend comes to you with complaints after a family quarrel, calm her down, comfort her, help her as much as you can, but do not judge or discuss. If you see the potential in her relationship, reconcile her with her spouse. If you don’t see, don’t become the last straw in the bowl, let specialists help you.

Rule 5. Do not be angry with fate

An angry woman is an ugly woman, even if her figure is perfect and her face is flawless. There is no point in being annoyed with the delay of fate, getting angry and venting your anger on friends and family. Think if you can meet a loved one when you have an argument with a saleswoman in a supermarket or quarrel with coworkers? Is it visible at the same time your beauty, spiritual subtlety, your mind and your upbringing?

It is necessary to find that state of mental equilibrium that can be compared with weightlessness. The most wonderful acquaintances await us when we are in a light and calm mood, as if around a quiet summer morning, vacation, and a pleasant day ahead, which you will fill with your favorite activities.

” Important: want to meet a loved one? Then act like he's watching you. Because it is possible that he is indeed watching you, right now!

You are trying again and again to answer the question, why are you still not married? Let's try to figure out what to do in such a situation. First, you need your sincere confession: are you really so upset about this that you consider your non-marriage a problem that destroys your life, does not allow you to eat, sleep and breathe? If the answer is yes, and you have been suffering from this fact for a year or more, then the time has come to look for means that will help you get rid of this problem.

A log in my own eye

Think about it: have you met such men whom you would be ready to marry? If yes, but for some reason you did not interest them, or the relationship was short-lived, most likely it makes sense to take care of yourself. Try to be as objective as possible and try to imagine yourself in the place of such a man. What would you like from your soul mate in this case? It is good if you have a male friend with whom you could discuss this topic heart to heart. A huge field for self-improvement will open up for you, and yet, try to start working on those qualities that will maximally help you get closer to the ideal image of your chosen one. The fact is that we ourselves often do not notice our own unpleasant traits, to which we are already accustomed and have grown together with them, and it is these, minor or major troubles that destroy any relationship in which we enter.

And the Swiss, and the reaper, and the player on the pipe

If you only saw your prince on the movie screen, then most likely you either want too much or are looking in the wrong place. In the first version, we can talk not only about overstated, but also about conflicting requirements for the chosen one. For example, you are unlikely to meet a person who would be reliable, stable, supportive, but at the same time ready to rush to another city for a romantic weekend and jump with a parachute without instruction to prove his courage to you. Therefore, try to write all the key qualities of your ideal partner on a piece of paper and carefully evaluate them: are there any mutually exclusive ones among them? If there is, you still have to choose exactly those qualities that can form the basis of a lasting marriage. Or admit to yourself that you need a good friend, a bright lover, but not a life partner.

Where to go?

In the second option, add to your list a list of the circumstances under which you usually meet future partners. Understandably, you're unlikely to meet an emotional, adventurous guy at a symphony concert or in office accounting. Then you will have to work on thinking over and scouting the "hunting grounds" - where are the specimens you are interested in "found" after all? For example, if you want your partner to take care of a healthy lifestyle, you should pay attention to sports clubs, swimming pools, studios for various types of "healthy" sports - yoga, fitness, capoeira, after all.

Also, do not ignore the opportunities that the modern level of technology development provides us: the Internet has brought together an incredible number of people. We are not talking about dating sites and chat rooms, but rather about "clubs of interest": drive a car - sign up for one of the many auto clubs, like skiing or cycling - a huge number of thematic forums are at your service.

If you yourself are not able to cope with the piled depression, you cannot understand why there are no changes for the better in your life - contact a professional psychologist, and there will definitely be a way out.

Take action, do not stand still, and joyful, long-awaited events will not keep you waiting!