We have more or less figured out how to behave and how to build a conversation. But what if, following all the advice, the desired result cannot be achieved? Probably, you are doing something wrong, or you are using prohibited techniques. What are these techniques, and what actions postpone the long-awaited moment, we list below:

1. Obsession. In no case tell the guy about your desire to become his wife several times a day, inserting phrases about the wedding in every conversation. The man will feel pressure, and fears will only increase, along with doubts and insecurities. It is enough to discuss this issue in one conversation, and the guy will remember. If he didn’t propose the next day after the conversation, it doesn’t mean that he forgot about it. It is likely that he is pondering the information, weighing and planning further actions.
2. Social influence. Marriage between a man and a woman- This is a decision that two people come to, friends, colleagues and even parents should not be involved here. If you think that outside influence can speed up the process, then you are at great risk, as there is often a backlash.
3. Conditions. Don't put your own young man the condition that in order to continue the relationship, he must marry you, otherwise you will leave him. This is the very pressure and pressure that frighten the guys the most, so it will definitely not work to bring the wedding closer in this way. If you set a time frame, for example, three months for him to marry you, otherwise the relationship will end, then this will generate a variety of experiences, worries and doubts, but will not bring the desired moment closer in any way. Attract feminine cunning and the ability to manipulate a man, rather than go straight ahead.
4. Early date. If your relationship started a few months ago, then it's definitely too early to talk about a wedding. The guy needs more time to get used not only with the upcoming wedding, but even with a serious relationship.
5. Role play. In order to get an offer, do not try to satisfy the whims of a man in every possible way, while forgetting about your own person. Even if you stand at the stove for three hours every day, preparing pickles for him, picking him up from parties, changing outfits and accompanying him to football or boxing, this will not bring the wedding closer. Believe me, the more self-sufficient a woman is, the more interesting she is, because it is interesting for a man to conquer his lady, and not to associate himself with one who does not have her own self.

Of course, each couple is individual, so the approach to a guy is different everywhere. But most importantly, don't ruin a strong and reliable relationship just because you can't wait for a stamp in your passport. If you really need a wedding, be tolerant and use female tricks to control your boyfriend, but don't rely on ultimatums, tantrums and resentments.

Finally, we offer you some general tips:

• Do not conduct a conversation in such a way that, starting with the topic of the wedding, it ends with threats of breakup, tears or a scandal;
• Marriage is a responsible business, so you should make sure that you have chosen the right person that really suits you before you start to persuade him to the wedding;
• Time is the best companion for making correct decisions. Do not pressure your partner by demanding an immediate answer to the question when he proposes to you;
• There are people who simply do not see the point in putting a stamp in their passport, so if your chosen one belongs to this category, do not hope for a marriage. For those for whom it is so important to have a wedding, such a person is not on the way. If you still think about how to push a man to take decisive action, in spite of his position, try to influence the person's attitude towards marriage, but this is not always possible.

The site for those in love with yourself Kitty ru today is ready to give advice to those who often become an extra corner in love triangle- mistresses. You, of course, know that he has an angry and ugly wife with whom he has not slept for 5 years, she does not give him a divorce, and he is with her only for the sake of children. You know because you are mistress.

• Have you ever seen your rival, that ugly one?
• Interested in the number of bedrooms in the house (if he doesn't sleep with her, even in the same room)?
• Did you offer to talk to this "bitch" about the divorce?
• Does she even know about you?

No wonder they say that in a love triangle, one corner is superfluous. As a rule, this is the corner of the mistress. And if a man is put before a choice - a wife or a mistress, then the narrowed one wins more often. Why? Because it is more comfortable with a wife, she is for life, it is warm and cozy with her, and a mistress is for love and consolation. And you wonder,?

Secret guerrilla intelligence

How can a mistress become a better wife? The answer is simple: you need surpass her. This will be your main task. And how to solve it, let's talk further.

First, you have one advantage that most often the wife of a lover does not have - you know the enemy, so to speak, by sight. That is, you know about the marital status of your chosen one, while a wife does not always know about the existence of a mistress.

Secondly, you can conduct "covert reconnaissance". Either way, your man will tell you something about his wife (of course, more often to complain than praise). And he will never talk about you with her. You, as a woman who is looking for all the ways to become better than her wife, will listen attentively and wiggle around, remember everything that does not satisfy her narrowed. This will be your main weapon.

Thirdly, using your body, you will captivate his soul - lure him to your rear.

Remember, in the article "" we already talked about who the man wants to stay with. To win this fight, try to combine all those qualities that the husband considers the best in his wife (and believe me, they are, since he is still with her, and not with you: an excellent mother, clean, cooks wonderfully and etc.) and not lose those that he found in you. Ready to Become a Superwoman? Let's start then.

Do you know how men joke among themselves about the ideal lover?

• It is better if she is bald - so that there is no hair on the clothes after meetings;
• I didn't use makeup - the reason is the same - no traces;
• She was dumb - so that she would not tell anyone about your relationship;
• I was allergic to flowers and perfumes - so that there were no costs and other people's compromising odors;
• Was an orphan - so that the mother would not ask about who this man was? And so on and so forth.

It is quite possible for a mistress to become better than his wife - especially if you carefully listen to a man's stories about his wife and draw conclusions about her mistakes!

Our task, of course, is similar - to become perfect lover for her man. But the goal is not to hide from the whole world, but to become better than his wife, and in the case when a man is faced with a choice between you, not to be an extra corner of the triangle.

• The first advice on how to become a lover better than a wife is sex(one of the reasons why a man chose you - a mistress) should be such that he wants to return to you again and again. This is what you will keep him by your side for the first time, so that later you will be able to prove that you are better than his wife. Create an atmosphere in your home so that a man is drawn to you: listen carefully to him, praise and support him more often.
• Second tip - open don't compete with your rival wife don't criticize her. Just ignore it. Try to stop all the stories of your sweetheart about his legal chosen one in time. Behave in such a way that the man would not even allow the thought that you are afraid of her, that you see her as a rival. For him, you must be the best! Pretend that you ignore all his stories about her, but at the same time listen to what he does not like about his wife (arranges interrogations, where he was and with whom, throws tantrums for any reason, etc.) Fundamentally transfer the conversation to another topic, for example , he starts talking about what his wife has done, and you ask him: "Would you like a sandwich with cheese or sausage?" Well, something like that. And you quietly remember to yourself that he doesn't like his wife because, as they say, he is forewarned, which means he is armed - you will not allow her mistakes.
• The third advice on how to become a better wife is in conversations, do not insist on breaking their relationship, but behave in such a way that the man understands that he will be better with you than with his wife. He must decide on this step himself when he is ready for it. Not when he will convince you that there is still a little bit left, but precisely when he himself is aware of this.

As you can see, you have a chance to surpass her, which means that you know what tactics of war to choose, and how to behave with your beloved man, how to become better than your rival wife.

But if you see that his wife is still a worthy chosen one and you, knowing your man well, understand that this is the woman with whom he feels good and comfortable, and you still turned out to be the third superfluous, then find the strength in yourself walk away. Or accept the role of a mistress - the one for love, but for life he has another. And although it seems to you that you know , he has already made his choice - he is not going to part with her.

Yuli4ka - specially for Koshechka.ru - a site for those in love ... with yourself!

Hello!
Now the complexity of my life is as follows. For 9 months I dated a married man. He surrounded me with such care and attention that I have never had. We spent a lot of time together. It turned out that our interests coincide - we walked, played sports, talked a lot, laughed. In a word, I realized that it was the best man in my life. However, after a few months I began to clearly understand that the man of my dreams, although he pays a lot of attention to me, but every evening, as if by the clock, runs home. I started to get nervous. Naturally, conversations about the future began. He said that he needed to make a decision to leave his wife. The end of our good communication was a New Year's trip to St. Petersburg, where he decided to take his daughter as well. During this trip, a conflict broke out. He began to act aloof, because he was afraid that his daughter would notice something. I started to get nervous. All in all, it was a few days of hell. Everyone was nervous, he shied away from me, I sore. Nothing good, I am very sorry that this trip took place. After her there was a conversation - I said that the relationship that was before will no longer exist. There are two options - either he creates a family with me, since he says that he loves me so much and does not want to lose, or he remains in his family. He said that he would think, and when he made a decision, he would inform me about it. After this conversation, 4 days have passed. He does not call, does not write. I understand that this silence is most likely the answer. It is clear that after the conflicts between us, his doubts only intensified, even if he thought about our prospects with him. Or maybe I didn't think
But the fact remains, I'm again dependent on him, I'm waiting. I understand that there is nothing to wait, but I still wait. The soul is very bad. This person really became very dear to me, despite how much pain he caused me. Please help me to cope with this situation myself. I can't get my peace of mind back. With my brains I understand everything - this is the end, but my soul hurts a lot. You wrote in one of your books that this is normal, it's like after an operation - first it hurts, and then it heals. But I still can't find the right "mental ointment" so that it doesn't hurt so much. I can't even write a letter to him. It probably just doesn't make sense. But on the other hand, I would like him to at least answer me. Let him tell the truth that remains in the family. I would like to bring him to this
but how, I don’t know. Help me please.
I really hope for your answer. Thank you in advance for your time reading this letter.

Vitalia, Balakovo, 32 years old

Psychologist's answer:

Hello Vitaly.

The fact that he preferred silence suggests that there will be no honest answers, besides, you knew that he was married, and he obviously did not promise anything so that you could talk about another future of the relationship, except for parting. Words of love do not mean that a man is creating a family with you. Despite all the risks of these relationships, uncertainty, parting is usually unexpected, painful, the relationship leaves behind feelings of disappointment, incompleteness. You could write letters to him, but not send them yet. Contact a specialist individually to analyze why you ended up in such a relationship. Think about how successful the marriage with this man would be, perhaps in reality everything would not turn out the way you hoped if you got married.

Respectfully yours, Lipkina Arina Yurievna.

Hello. I have been dating a young man for 7 years. Now I am 21 years old and so is he. Over the past 4 years, due to stressful situations, I have gained a lot of weight. About 20kg. And our relationship soured. Not even because of his attitude towards me, but because of how I presented myself. I was embarrassed to go somewhere, I was constantly unhappy with everything, jealous of him, checking my phone, etc. He asked me to change, but to no avail. I started, but I always quit. Then I generally fell into apathy and just sat at home without getting out. I missed classes at the university and did not communicate with anyone. We lived together. He shouted at me, promised to leave, but in vain. Then he cheated on me. I forgave him because he tearfully asked for it, said that he was mistaken, etc. But again, I haven't changed. And this fall he left. I started to change. Now I work, study, lose weight. But he is in no hurry to return. He is chatting with another girl. Although during these 4 months their relationship did not go further than communication. BUT - they relax together, go to clubs, ride a car, walk. He continues to walk to me. He comes - hugs, kisses, but does not talk about love, and whenever I bring up the topic of his relationship, he tells me not to get into HIS personal life. We communicate constantly. Every day, he comes to spend the night with me sometimes. But for my birthday he only gave me flowers, explaining that he did not know what to buy. I do not know how to behave, please help me, tk. my brain explodes with doubt. I love him, I want to be with him, but how can I change the already existing, thanks to my own mistakes, attitude towards me, and is it possible?
Elizabeth

Hello Elizabeth! After reading your question, the following picture appears to me.

Your boyfriend, having suffered with you, decided to build a relationship with another girl. You can probably understand him. And you, apparently, treated this situation like that for some time. But we all need certainty, especially in relations with our beloved men. It seems to me that you need to give your young man time and a chance, as he gave it all to you. Probably, not only you are confused, but he himself does not know what to do in this situation. Even if it did not come to a close relationship with another girlfriend, he may feel his responsibility to her or guilt. Doesn't want to hurt her with his irrevocable and final departure. Or he really loves both of you and does not want to lose either one or the other. This explains the fact that you still have him. And the gift, it seems to me, is neither an indicator of his love, nor his coldness towards you. Rather, indeed, he himself is in doubt.

I think that despite your strong love and attachment to him, now it costs nothing to do, and it is not necessary. Sometimes there are situations when you just need to "let go" of the circumstances and wait until everything ends by itself in one way or another. Of course, this may end up sadly for you. Namely, your boyfriend decides to finally break up with you and stay with another girl. Well .. And you need to be ready for this. After all, he is not your property, which you can infinitely dispose of and order, whom to love, with whom to live, etc. The most important thing in such a situation is to continue living and being strong. Do not give up again, do not feel sorry for yourself, seizing this pity with kilograms of sausage and buns, do not close in "your shell", avoiding communication with other people. On the contrary, in this case you will need to mobilize all your spiritual and physical strength and, in spite of all adversity, move forward. Of course, the easiest way is to shut yourself off from everyone and everything and sit quietly in your cubbyhole. But this is the road to "nowhere". Therefore, force yourself to live and over time you will be able to look at this situation differently - you will understand more, see other sides of your relationship and, possibly, change your attitude towards many things.

Naturally, you can go the other way and invite your man to make a choice. I'm sure you shouldn't give him ultimatums like "either me or she". Try to talk to him calmly, or even better, write him all your feelings, worries and doubts in a letter. Let him know that you still love him and do not want to lose, but at the same time you cannot share him with another woman. Offer him not to meet with you for quite some time - a month, two, or six months. During this time, both of you will be able to look at your relationship and situation somewhat detached, like an outsider and understand what each of you needs. I don't think this is a long time for a long-term relationship like yours. Do not deprive yourself of the pleasure during separation from your loved one and do not refuse inviting friends to the cinema, theater, or trips to nature. Perhaps, having sat up with your bitter thoughts alone, you forgot that there is a large number of other joys. Re-feel yourself in the circle of other people, dancing in discos, skiing or swimming in the sea. All this is not capable of replacing love for us, but it is capable of returning the joy of life and a feeling of happiness even from the smallest victories. Perhaps to your surprise, you won't even miss your loved one.

Try it! It seems to me that this is better than tormenting yourself and his demands, hopes and doubts. Be happy!