We live our lives by setting goals for ourselves and expecting that when we achieve them, we will get what we want. We live our lives thinking that we have friends, expecting them to come to our aid in difficult situations. We think that we will always be welcome at home.

But, as everyone knows, in our world not everything always happens as we expect.

If you own a car dealership, you might set a goal of selling 25 cars a month, but actually only sell 8.

Because you have set yourself an overly ambitious goal, which you cannot yet achieve due to lack of resources, connections, etc.

We can expect our friends to listen to us when we are feeling down. But sometimes they don’t drop everything and rush to our aid. And in such a situation we feel that they are ignoring us, our friends don’t care about us.

Because we expect too much from our friends, while they have their own lives and their own problems.

Every morning we plan our way to work: if I leave now, I’ll get there in an hour. If our car stalls on the road, we panic - after all, we are late, and on top of everything we have another extra problem.

Because we expect the world to play by our rules.

All expectations often lead to one result - disappointment. We cannot achieve absolutely all the goals we set for ourselves. Our friends cannot always be there for us. We can't even always get where we're going on time.

The best way to deal with disappointment is to expect nothing.

No expectations - no disappointments.

This is one of the hardest lessons: you must work on yourself, and not expect something from the world.

A simple way to deal with disappointment

1. Manage your emotions

This is the very first and most important step towards resolving any difficulties. Don't let your emotions get the better of you, don't make important decisions until you calm down, even if it takes you several hours or days.

2. Never take anything to heart

Many of us are ready to attribute everything bad that happens to us to our personal shortcomings. We say that we don’t yet deserve to get this or become this and that, we believe that we are “just not good enough.”

Stop beating yourself up. This is perhaps the most important thing.

Don't be afraid to ask for help

1. Don't be afraid to ask for help: from family, friends and acquaintances. And never seek revenge on those who made you suffer - nothing good will ever come of this.
2. Take care of your health: don't forget to get enough sleep and eat right.
3. Be alone with your thoughts, put aside magazines and newspapers, turn off the TV and don’t spend too much time on the Internet.

Understand that not everything always turns out the way we plan.

At any moment, things may not go as you planned, and you should always be prepared for the consequences. This is the best way to deal with disappointments that were, are and will be.

Just accept everything that happened

Just accept everything that happened. Or live with regrets for the next few years. Why worry about what we can't change?

Life doesn't always give us what we want. It's hard to accept, but in the long run, realizing it will make us stronger.

It sounds absurd, but sometimes when we don't get what we want, that's the best outcome.

Disappointment is valuable

Disappointment is a wonderful experience that should not be avoided. Think about it from a child's point of view. If he had gotten everything he wanted from the very beginning of his life, without knowing any refusal, he would never have learned to be grateful.

Disappointments are valuable - they make us human.

Channel your emotions in the right direction

Disappointments wear us down. But go the opposite way: instead of wasting energy on anger and worries about what cannot be changed, direct your emotions in the right direction. Learn something new, help someone, or create something. This will help you take your mind off things. Moreover, it will help you benefit even from a situation that, at first glance, seemed hopeless to you.

What do you think about this?

“What to do when everything is not the way we want?” - Almost every inhabitant of planet Earth asked himself this question at least once in his life. The popular Russian psychologist, Alexander Sviyash, a master of positive thinking, will try to tell you in his book how to overcome the dark streak in your existence and reach its bright, sunny side.

Sometimes it seems that some people have everything they could dream of, but we, as always, have no luck in anything. Small troubles constantly follow on our heels and we do not feel happy. A recognized psychologist teaches us in his scientific work “What to do when everything is not the way you want” to discard envy and look around more carefully. Our paradox is that we are absolutely unable to realize that we are living well. We see the sun above our heads, we don’t get sick. Other people are deprived of even these seemingly simple pleasures... We do not appreciate what is given to us from above, that is why Life throws us problems so that we learn from them. However, we do not draw conclusions from the repeated tangle of failures; we continue to complain further, although in fact, we should not cry into our vest, the main thing is to act and change.

To learn to live in harmony with the environment, to accept this world with all its advantages and disadvantages—this is what Alexander Sviyash sees as the main goal of human existence. Only by putting this worldview into practice can you experience happiness. And when the Universe sees that you have discarded unnecessary negative emotions, it will begin to bestow its priceless gifts on you. Only by changing, completely reconsidering your vision of the world and the people around you, can you program our existence for a more positive program. With the help of information gleaned from the book “What to do when everything is not the way you want”, you can not only get rid of various troubles, but also be cured of chronic diseases. After all, our thoughts are material and only we have the choice of what to pull from outside into our lives - good or evil, love or hate.

Our expectations about certain events, ideas about people who should behave in certain situations the way we want, and similar things - all this pulls us down. We are not the center of the universe. And no one is obliged to conform to our ideas. If a certain person treats us well, rejoice. If not, don’t get hung up on such things. The psychological manual “What to do when everything is not the way you want” talks about how old resentment and similar things cause irreparable harm to our body. And you must definitely get rid of negative emotions. Alexander Sviyash, in his psychological manual, will teach you how, with the help of theory and useful, practical exercises, to establish harmony with yourself and the world around you.

On our literary website you can download the book “What to do when everything is not the way you want” by Alexander Sviyash for free in formats suitable for different devices - epub, fb2, txt, rtf. Do you like to read books and always follow the release of new products? We have a large selection of books of various genres: classics, modern science fiction, literature on psychology and children's editions. In addition, we offer interesting and informative articles for beginner writers and all those who want to learn how to write beautifully. Each of our visitors will be able to find something useful and exciting.

Introduction

What is this book about? It's about how we all live in a world of abundance. In our world there is a lot of food, money, housing, cars, men and women, children, health, love, sex, fame, places to relax and everything else. The Creator created everything in abundance.

But then why does it happen that some people have something in abundance, while others lack it? And even if you have an abundance of something, for example, money, then at the same time you may lack love or health. Or there is an abundance of love or health, but not enough money, and so on. And only rare people have everything they need, but there are very few of them. People call them lucky or lucky. In general, they believe that their happiness and success do not depend on them, but that they are simply lucky. And they themselves sometimes think so, not even suspecting that they created their happiness and success for themselves.

Can anyone be one of these lucky ones? Can he do something to make sure everything is the way he wants? Maybe if he behaves the same way as successful people.

Everything depends on you!

The idea that to achieve success you need to behave the same way successful people behave is not new. It is discussed and described in detail in many books. I won't do the same thing again because the authors of the recommendations described the external side of the command of successful people- how they work, how they plan their activities, how they talk, and so on. To some extent, these recommendations work - but only to the extent that the reader’s inner world coincides with the inner world and belief system of a successful person. And here, as you understand, there can be a huge gap. You can endlessly identify your goals, plan your achievements, work 18 hours a day. But at the same time, if deep down in your heart you consider your boss to be an idiot who is in the wrong place, then the results of your efforts will be zero or even negative, that is, you will be demoted or even fired.

Or you decorate yourself and develop communication skills to attract the attention of men and arrange your personal life. And as luck would have it, they completely disappear from your horizon.

Why, because outwardly you were doing everything that a successful person should do, and suddenly such a defeat?

But the point here is that in addition to the external aspects of behavior, there are some very important internal rules that every person must follow in the process of interacting with other people. They are quite simple, but no one tells us about them. And if we violate them - and millions of people constantly do this, then Life will give us its lessons. She will teach us, and these lessons are not very pleasant - like a bad grade for an unfinished lesson at school. If we do not understand these lessons, then Life will block most of our efforts towards our desired goals. And then, no matter how energetic you are, no matter how much effort you make towards your goal, the desired result will be closed to you. You will not be Life's favorite, you will be a laggard, a loser.

And vice versa, if you understand her simple lessons and do not violate some of her requirements, then you will become her favorite. And being Life’s favorite is very pleasant, as you understand. Most of your goals will be achieved as if by themselves. You will live in inner harmony and joy. Fear of the future will leave you - will Life allow its pet to do something bad?

It looks like a miracle, but it is reality. And this miracle can become your constant companion, that is, you can easily move into the category of those people who are called lucky. It now depends only on you!

I don’t know how exactly this happens and who exactly helps a person who follows some simple rules of living in our world. People call this invisible and caring patron God, Angels, Higher Powers, or something else, as is more familiar to them. Our methodology is non-religious, so we will simply use the concept of Life, and you can put into it any interpretation that is convenient for you, corresponding to your belief system.

Since readers are usually interested in the personality of the author, I’ll tell you a little about myself. I was born in Russia into a simple family, went to school, worked, and received two higher educations.

In my life there were no huge failures and huge achievements that you can read about in other books. That is, I did not bring my body to a fatal illness, and then through heroic efforts to recover. I was not in prison, I was not bankrupt, I was not on the verge of suicide, I was not persecuted by the KGB. Of course, I had difficulties at work, conflicts with management, sometimes leading to dismissal. I had great difficulties in my family life, which eventually led to divorce, and now I am in my second marriage. That is, I lived an ordinary life, which millions of people live.

The only thing that has always distinguished me is an increased inquisitiveness of mind and I always tried to understand: why is everything happening like this? And how can you create something new and useful? I studied a lot and am learning now. All my efforts were aimed at understanding the patterns that govern our lives. If most people are told: “do it this way,” they do it that way and are quite happy with it, then it never suited me, and I always asked: “Why this way and not another way?” If no explanation was given to me, I looked for it myself. That is, for me there are no authorities except the Truth, which I seek in every way available to me. And this process, as you understand, is endless.

At first, my efforts were directed into the field of technology - I tried to understand how technical inventions are created. As a result, I became an inventor, co-author of the book “The Birth of an Invention,” and received an academic degree.

Later, I became very interested in psychology, and then in mysticism, esotericism, and spiritual practices that created a feeling of limitless possibilities and limitless power. For several years I was intensively engaged in the development of superpowers - clairvoyance, the ability to read information from photographs, vision of the aura, astral travel. In principle, every person has innate superpowers, you just need to develop them, but this takes many years. Later I realized that in our real life there is no use for these hidden talents. Technology has completely replaced almost all superpowers, and they have faded away from people as unnecessary. In our world, superpowers can be used either in healing, or you need to show tricks. None of these activities attracted me, and I stopped doing it.

The Reminders You Need Most When Things Go Wrong

The best way out is always through.
~ Robert Frost

“I'm sitting in my hospital bed waiting to have both breasts removed. But in a strange way I feel lucky. Until now I have not had any health problems. I am a 69-year-old woman... In a few hours, I saw several dozen cancer patients in wheelchairs and on gurneys. And none of them was over 17...”

This is an excerpt from my grandmother's diary, dated September 16, 1977. I copied it about ten years ago. He will remind me that there is always something to be grateful for. And no matter how good or bad I feel, I have to wake up every day and be grateful for life, because someone, somewhere, is desperately fighting for it.

The truth is that happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. Imagine all the amazing things that your mind could comprehend if it were not so closely occupied with your struggle. Always look at what you have instead of what you have lost.

Here are a few reminders to motivate you when you need it most:

1. Pain is part of growth.

Sometimes life closes doors because it's time to move. And this is good, because we often do not start moving unless circumstances force us. When times get tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move away from what hurts you, but never forget the lesson it teaches you. Just because you are struggling doesn't mean you are failing. Every great success requires a worthy struggle to be present. Good things take time. Stay patient and confident. Everything will be alright; most likely not in a moment, but eventually everything will be...

Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts, and pain that changes you. As you go through life, instead of resisting it, let it help you grow.

2. Everything in life is temporary.

Always when it rains you know it will end. Every time you are hurt, the wound heals. After darkness there is always light - you are reminded of this every morning, but nevertheless you often forget and believe that the night will always last. It will not happen. Nothing lasts forever.

So, if everything is good right now, enjoy it. This won't last forever. If it's bad, don't worry, because it won't last forever either. Just because life isn't easy at the moment doesn't mean you can't laugh. Just because something bothers you doesn't mean you can't smile. Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. Every second you get a second chance. You are given a chance, and you just have to use it.

3. Worrying and complaining won't change anything.

Those who complain the most achieve the least. It is always better to try to do something big and fail than to try to do nothing and succeed. Nothing is over if you have lost; it's over if you're really only complaining. If you believe in something, keep trying. Don't let the shadows of the past obscure your future. Today's complaints about yesterday will not make tomorrow brighter. Let what you know improve the way you live. Make a change and never look back.

And no matter what ultimately happens, remember that true happiness begins to arrive only when you stop complaining about your problems and start being grateful for all the problems that you don't have.

4. Your scars are symbols of your strength.

Never be ashamed of the scars life has left you. The scar means that there is no more pain and the wound has healed. This means that you have overcome the pain, learned a lesson, become stronger and have moved forward. The scar is a tattoo of triumph. Don't let your scars hold you hostage. Don't let them make you live in fear. You can't make scars disappear, but you can change the way you see them. You may begin to view your scars as a sign of strength.

Ryumi once said: “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. From suffering came the strongest souls; The most powerful people in this big world are marked with scars. Look at your scars as a slogan: “YES! I DID IT! I survived and I have the scars to prove it! And now I have a chance to become even stronger.”

5. Every little struggle is a step forward.

In life, patience is not about waiting; it is in the ability to maintain a good mood, working hard towards your dreams, in the knowledge that the work is worth it. So if you're going to try it, go all the way. Otherwise there is no point in starting. This could mean a loss of stability and comfort for a while, and perhaps even your sanity. This may mean not eating what you used to or not sleeping as much as you used to for weeks on end. This may mean changing your comfort zone. This may mean sacrificing relationships and everything you know. This may mean the appearance of ridicule. This may mean time that you will spend alone. Solitude, however, is a gift that makes many things possible. It gives you the space you need. Everything else is a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to achieve your goal.

And if you want it, you will do it, despite failures and disagreements. And every step you take you will feel better than you can imagine. You will understand that struggle is not an obstacle on the way, it is the path. And it's worth it. So if you're going to try it, go all the way. There is no better feeling in the world... there is no better feeling than knowing what it means to be ALIVE.

6. Other people's negativity is not your problem.

Be confident when bad things surround you. Smile when others try to beat you. This is an easy way to keep your enthusiasm alive. When other people talk bad about you, keep being yourself. Never let someone else's conversations change the person you are. You can't take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Don't think that people do things because of you. They do things because of themselves.

First of all, never change to impress someone who says you are not good enough. Change if it makes you better and leads you to a brighter future. People will talk no matter what you do or how well you do it. Worry about yourself before you worry about what others think. If you believe in something, don't be afraid to fight for it. Great strength comes from overcoming the impossible.

All jokes aside, you only have one life. So do what makes you happy and be with someone who makes you smile.

7. What is meant to be will eventually BE.

True strength comes when you, instead of screaming and complaining, choose to smile and appreciate your life. There are blessings hidden in every struggle you face, but you must be willing to open your heart and mind to see them. You can't make things happen. You can only try. At some point you have to let go and allow what is meant to happen.

Love your life, trust your intuition, take risks, lose and find happiness, learn through experience. It's a long trip. You must stop worrying, questioning and doubting at any moment. Laugh, live in every moment and enjoy your life. You may not know exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive where you need to be.

8. The best thing you can do is keep moving.

Don't be afraid to get angry. Don't be afraid to love again. Don't let the cracks in your heart turn into scars. Understand that strength increases every day. Understand that courage is beautiful. Find in your heart what makes others smile. Remember that you don't need many people in your life, so don't strive to have more “friends.” Be strong when things get tough. Remember that the universe always does what is right. Admit when you are wrong and learn from it. Always look back and see what you have achieved and be proud of yourself. Don't change for anyone if you don't want to. Do more. Write stories. Take photos. Be aware of the moments and ways in which your loved ones look at you.

Just keep being YOU.
Keep growing. Keep moving.