During any presentations, reports, speeches at meetings, you are faced with one fundamental question - whether to choose:

Light verbal skirmish, which helps strengthen connections between participants, but can interfere with productive business communication,

A constructive approach that allows you to skillfully return the discussion to a business direction and achieve results.

My approach is constructive, and it consists of systematically stopping the so-called “initiating chains” - sequences of remarks with increasing mutual irritation - applying the so-called “rule of three Ts”.

Suppose the initial situation is this: your speech (report) is focused on a certain result and is structured accordingly, but the dialogue partners are carried away by secondary issues, and the purpose of the entire discussion begins to elude its participants.

Or personal attacks begin, followed by polemical attacks with the aim of putting pressure on you personally or casting doubt on your competence.

Your goal is to get the conversation participants to return to the substance of the matter and restore the normal flow of the discussion.

Rule of three Ts

Proceed according to the scheme ToisN - Tigp

(touch - turn - speak).

Turn: return to the original topic.

Talk: deepen this topic so that it again becomes the main topic of discussion.

Example - when getting personal

Touch Please refrain from polemics. Let us, in the common interest, stick to the substance of the matter and the main topic of today's meeting.

Turn Our theme is product quality

XYZ at your enterprise.

Talk I have already pointed out the negative effects

issues regarding deliveries to our customers. Thus, it is necessary to ensure impeccable quality within an acceptable time frame. One of the approaches to solving: ;. The essence of this problem is...

Example - when deviating from the main topic

Touch Please refrain during our business meeting

from discussing extraneous issues. It is in everyone's interest to remain results-oriented and substantive in the discussion.

Turn Our topic is the quality of the XYZ product in your enterprise. |

Ta1k I have already pointed out the negative effects regarding supplies to our customers. Thus, it is necessary to ensure impeccable quality within an acceptable time frame. One approach to solving this problem is...

Advice. When giving a presentation, participating in a meeting or a round table discussion, relate the application of the method Touch - Turn - Ta1k with switching eye contact.

Application example

Touch (Eye contact with the recipient). Please refrain from polemics. Let us, in the common interest, stick to the substance of the matter and the main topic of today's meeting.

Turn (Gaze is transferred to another participant). Our common theme is the quality of the XY2 product in our enterprise.

(You exchange a glance with this participant). I have already pointed out the negative effects regarding supplies to our customers. Thus, it is necessary to ensure impeccable quality within an acceptable time frame. One approach to solving this problem is...

In this way, you connect the second addressee within this dialogue, since eye contact simultaneously means: “Well, dear, do you have any objections?!” In addition, the simultaneous application of the “three T rule” in verbal and non-verbal versions blocks repeated evasion of the topic.

The advantages of the “three T rule” are obvious:

· You do not allow the topic to change and strictly stay in the main direction of the dialogue.

· Although you accept questions and remarks from the field, you introduce them within the framework of the dialogue, its topic and context.

· You effectively exclude from the issues discussed anything that is not directly related to the topic.

· In particular, you do not allow the personal qualities of the participants to be affected and focus all attention on the merits of the matter.

· You actively defend your strong, consistent position and stay strictly on topic.

· You invariably stop all sorts of verbal skirmishes and meaningless disputes about who is more competent. You keep the discussion in your hands all the time.

· You prevent any maneuvers aimed at disrupting the meeting with clear and binding boundaries for everyone.

· You effectively and consistently prevent discussions from going sideways.

· You accept questions, but this helps guide the discussion in the way you want, getting results, and your answers are accurate and succinct messages.

· Ultimately, all questions are answered, but you focus on developing the dialogue so that the questions are assessed accordingly.

Please think about the following:

Any answer is recognition of the legitimacy of the question!

Basic principles of rhetoric.

· Build affirmative structures.

Wrong; “We have not gathered here to attack each other!”
Correct: “We have gathered here to discuss quality, please give us your suggestions for changes!”

· Emphasize what is said through clear judgments.

Incorrect: “This way we could achieve the purpose of the meeting better and faster.”

Correct: “In this way we achieve the goal of our meeting!”

· If you need to use a negative construction (it is better to do this as rarely as possible, since repetition contributes to the installation of a false anchor), place it before the positive statement.

Wrong: “This is about the product, not about your sphere of influence and responsibility.”

Correct: “This is not about your sphere of influence and responsibility, but about the product.”

· formulate your thoughts concisely and precisely.

Incorrect: “So, now the situation is such that after we have made several unsuccessful attempts to approach the topic, a certain approach to it, naturally, with some ...” Correct: “... to the topic of discussion. We will consider that we have agreed on the following...”

· Avoid any conditional and restrictive constructions, expressions that indicate your intellectual or communicative failure.

Wrong: “Maybe now is the time, in some way, literally once, and I have always approved of this, although, of course, there is an objection...” Correct: “Please, let's go back to proposals for solving the problem. The previous offer was...”

· When conducting a discussion, use the imperative mood rather than questions. Incorrect: “Can’t we return to our topic - quality?”

Correct: “Herr Müller, please justify for us your constructive proposal for solving the problem!”

· Avoid negative repetitions - they reinforce false messages and create grounds for criticism.

Incorrect: “A deplorable picture? No, it’s not at all deplorable.” Correct: “No, in the eyes of clients and the general public we look great!”

A few selected typical and possible Touch patterns:

· This is an unrelated topic.

· Exactly.

· This issue is considered in a different context.

· This will be discussed later.

· This is your opinion only.

· You lump everything into one pile.

· Our clients are interested in something else.

· This is another aspect.

· True False.

· This is purely speculative reasoning.

· This is how it looks from a superficial and limited view.

· This is where you make a mistake.

· You are proceeding from erroneous data.

· This is a false impression.

In case of negative statements addressed to

· you personally,

· your enterprise,

· his reputation,

· your competence,

· your education or

· your experience,

counter questions are prohibited. Normally, the enemy will respond to you with a verbal salvo from all onboard guns.

An example of a failed defense with: a counter question (": "* Attack: “You have a bad reputation!”

Fatal counter question; "Why you
do you think so?”

Possible answer: “Firstly, all the employees speak badly of you behind your back, secondly, no one really believes that you will bring this extremely important project to successful completion, and thirdly, you were already responsible for one important project and failed it - although you, of course, deny it!”

If you are still interested in the development of the topic, I recommend using a counter-question of an evaluative nature: “How did you get such an erroneous impression?”

Then subsequent words will be perceived by others present through the prism of your preliminary assessment.

In answers constructed according to the “rule of three Ts,” Touch and Turn are often opposites.

It is important that the response to the interlocutor’s precise attack should be equally accurate. This contrast crystallizes in the form of opposing concepts:

Below I will give a couple of examples of successful application of the rules of rhetoric, where the answers naturally and obviously emphasize the positive meaning of clear statements.

Examples

“Have you ever heard of the laws of rhetoric?”

Incorrect: “Yes!”

On June 19, the Honored Coach of the Republic of Belarus, Master of Sports of the USSR Vladimir Genov, one of the leading water ski coaches in the world, whose students have conquered the highest sports peaks, celebrates his 60th birthday. The rule of the three “Ts” - Work, Talent, Patience - remains the main thing in his life.

Water skiing came into his life at the age of 12 in 1966, almost immediately when his father Nikolai Leonidovich Genov, Honored Trainer of the BSSR, pioneer of this sport in Novopolotsk, founder of the now world-famous Genov water ski school, became interested in it.

“At first, my father disappeared for days on the river,” recalls Vladimir Nikolaevich. - And one day in August he took me with him. That's when I took my first water skiing start in my life. on the Western Dvina River. It is impossible to describe in words the delight when I got out of the snow-white spray and found myself in the middle of the Dvina on water skis. The people on the shore seemed like Lilliputians, but I imagined myself as a god walking on water as if on earth. That was the beginning. We still had so much ahead of us...”

10 years later, already being a master of sports of the USSR, Vladimir Genov started working as a water skiing coach and teacher. The third in the illustrious coaching team of the Genovs - Honored Coach of the Republic of Belarus, International Master of Sports of the USSR, multiple USSR record holder in figure skating and medalist of the USSR Championships Arkady Genov - took his first lessons in water skiing from his father and older brother (their age difference is seven years ). “All the experiments of a novice coach were carried out at Arcadia,” smiles Vladimir Nikolaevich. The result, as we see, was excellent.

Vladimir Genov’s father is Nikolai Leonidovich, after whom the school in Novopolotsk is now named

With the direct participation of Vladimir Genov in the Novopolotsk water ski school named after N.L. Genova prepared by:

— Honored Masters of Sports - 4,

— masters of sports of international class - 29,

— masters of sports - 60.

At world and European championships and championships, World Cups, students of the Genov school won 355 (!) gold medals, 230 silver and 163 bronze.

I ask: “Is water skiing a way of self-realization for you?” “Lifestyle,” answers Vladimir Nikolaevich. It’s impossible to say more precisely.

— Your students have many brilliant victories to their credit. Which one do you remember most?

— Any victory is always dear and pleasant, because it is very difficult to achieve. But when Lesha Zhernosek became the world champion for the first time, in 1998, in Riksen, I was incredibly happy, as they say, in seventh heaven. Then there were other victories, but this state remained in the memory forever: for the first time the world champion in Novopolotsk! I remember my father’s reaction, how he raised everyone in the camp on Suya to their feet, it was such a holiday for the city’s water skiers! An indescribable feeling: “We can!”

Belarusian water ski team

“They say that a good teacher must raise a student who will go further than him.” Your father is a vivid example of this: he raised two sons who went further than him in coaching. Did you succeed, what do you think?

— Let’s take, for example, our honored masters. Vyacheslav Durnov, multiple champion and prize-winner of the European and World Championships in Ricksen, went from an athlete and coach to the director of a water ski school, head of the department of physical culture, sports and tourism of the Novopolotsk City Executive Committee, deputy chairman of the Novopolotsk City Executive Committee, and this year he was elected chairman of the Novopolotsk City Council of Deputies . Has he moved on? I think yes! Yuri Rykter, multiple world and European champion in riksen, three-time European record holder, today runs the water ski complex of the Sentosa club in Dnepropetrovsk. Oleg Devyatovsky, multiple winner of World Championships and Cups, champion and absolute champion of Europe in classical water skiing, is the chairman of the coaching council of the Water Skiing and Wakeboard Federation of the Republic of Belarus. Lesha Zhernosek is already a 10-time world champion (three times in figure skating behind a boat), and a world record holder. Our first champion of the USSR, master of sports of international class Alexander Boyarin now a judge of the national category, actively participates in judging republican water skiing competitions. Everyone realizes themselves in their chosen field, and everyone goes further than their teachers in some way.

Water ski school Genova

— I know that teachers consider this question provocative, but I can’t help but ask it: of course, all students are loved ones, but are there those who are especially loved?

- No. They are all dear to me, years of my life have been given to them.

I remember last year’s European Championship for electric traction in Poland, when the national team of the Republic of Belarus once again won the team competition, but at the award ceremony, a representative of the Water Ski Federation of the Republic of Belarus, instead of presenting the medal for the team victory to the team coach Vladimir Genov, gave it to another person with a comment that this medal should be kept in the federation. And then Nikita Papakul, one of his star students, who won the all-around in the individual competition, came off the podium, took off his gold medal and hung it up to the coach with the words: “We earned it together, and it is rightfully yours.”

— The life of talented people is not easy by definition, because they never stop there. How and by whom do you save yourself when it’s especially difficult?

“I always remember my father and ask myself the question: what would he do in this situation?” In general, we always save ourselves by work. It’s really like this: something didn’t work out today - we’ll continue to work, and everything will work out. Work and patience.

In the photo in the second row from right to left are Vladimir Genov, Nikolai Genov, far left - Arkady Genov.

— And are your relatives nearby?

- Certainly. My rear is reliable. Here they are (we are talking on Skype, and Vladimir Nikolaevich circles their faces with the camera): mother, Nina Aleksandrovna, daughters Natasha and Nina. And his wife Nadezhda is currently at the “Water Skier” sports camp. She and I have been together since 1979. I can’t imagine my life without her and I never cease to admire her patience and wisdom. She finds a common language with people surprisingly easily and quickly. Athletes simply love her. Arkady's wife, Tatyana, runs our water ski school. She is pedantic and demanding in her work, and sometimes we get the worst of her. But this is all for the good of the cause. And, of course, brother Arkady, we do not share our work or achievements with him, this is our common life, we walk along it shoulder to shoulder. And the most reliable support for all of us is my mother, Nina Aleksandrovna. She always worries about us and sincerely rejoices at our successes, is aware of all our affairs and is the strictest critic in all matters.

I note that unlike a narrow specialist, who, according to Kozma Prutkov, is like gumboil, Vladimir Nikolaevich Genov is a multi-talented person. He earned the recognition of his fellow countrymen not only in sports, but also in social activities: he was elected three times as a deputy of the Novopolotsk City Council, four times as a deputy of the Vitebsk Regional Council, and is still so. Subtly understands and feels art. I will never forget the virtual tour that he gave me from the halls of the art gallery in Polotsk, from the exhibition of an ancient portrait, which I visited with my family. From his mobile phone he sent pictures of paintings to the chat, noting with humor: “Since there is not enough money for paintings, I photograph them everywhere I go.” One, with a rider, attracted my attention with its similarity in the image of the horse with the famous painting by Gericault “The Races at Epsom” - the front and hind legs of the horse are extended in one line with the body. “The same incident that I was arguing about with the horsemen - they say that such a position of a horse’s legs does not happen even in flight,” she wrote to Vladimir Nikolaevich. And she immediately received an answer: “Arguing with horsemen about horses is the same as arguing with Yuri Leonidovich Nekhaevsky about the execution of figures, for example SR. Bravely, bravely!!!" I laughed heartily.

“I’m a fan of jazz music,” says the honored coach. – For the first time in 1979, in the late autumn, I went on vacation and went to visit relatives in Leningrad. There I went out onto Nevsky Prospekt and went to all the jazz concerts in a row, guided by the posters. For the first time I heard and saw the legendary St. Petersburg jazzman David Goloshchekin, thanks to his comments during the concert, I simply fell in love with this music. Once in Kharkov, at a spring training camp, I took with me the then very young Oleg Devyatovsky and brother Arkady to a concert by David Goloshchekin, who came on tour to this city. So what? Two minutes after the start, I heard the sniffles of my two jazz lovers, soundly sleeping, on both sides. True, after the concert they told me that they really enjoyed this music and had a great rest! Unfortunately, I am alone in my musical hobby and can only listen to jazz when I am alone at home or in the car on the road...

And the eldest of the Genov brothers has a rich collection of Pushkiniana - collected works of their favorite poet and books about him. Vladimir Nikolaevich remembers many of Pushkin’s poems well and often quotes them. I would say even more: the thoughts, mood, actions of the poet in the difficult circumstances offered to him by life in the inner world of Vladimir Genov determine a lot.

— I wonder what Pushkin’s lines resonate with your soul now, Vladimir Nikolaevich?

- If life deceives you,

Don't be sad, don't be angry!

On the day of despondency, humble yourself:

The day of fun, believe me, will come.

Vladimir Genov and Alexey Zhernosek

World champion and record holder Alexey Zhernosek:

“I would like to congratulate my coach Vladimir Nikolaevich Genov on his anniversary and express my gratitude for his coaching work over the past many years, which he has invested in training not only excellent athletes, but, above all, in nurturing the best human qualities in his students.

For me, Vladimir Nikolaevich has always been not only a coach, but also a person to whom you can turn with any problem and always find understanding. He, of course, has achieved all conceivable heights in coaching, but it is his human qualities that distinguish him in this world - his almost fatherly attitude towards all his students. These qualities are indispensable for creating a favorable atmosphere in a sports team and achieving high results.

I would like to wish Vladimir Nikolaevich, first of all, excellent health, love from loved ones and many, many active years ahead, full of new impressions.

With sincere joy, we join in congratulations and good wishes to a wonderful coach and person!

rule of three "T" according to Michel Auden
Three T:
"Silence"
"Warm"
"Darkness"
During childbirth, the hormone oxytocin plays a key role. And it is produced with the help of the neocortex, this is the cerebral cortex, and as soon as it reacts to bright light, noise, questions, or tries to save a woman in labor from the cold, the production of oxytocin immediately suffers.
for better dilation of the cervix, it is enough to follow the rule of three Ts) and, of course, relax and open up to contractions. By clenching and screaming, we only prolong the labor. I hope that all this will be useful to me, and I won’t lose my head like everyone writes about it!

Comments

If it works out in between, you need to switch off. Just go into hibernation :) I don’t know how anyone can do it, but it helped me a lot. I have heard and read enough that you need to walk and move. As a result, I suffered for 4.5 hours, walked, squatted, did all sorts of exercises, and the gynecologist came and said that the dilation was only 2 cm. I despaired and just collapsed on the bed. She lay there, breathed, turned off her brain during breaks and fell asleep, as a result, in 3 hours the uterus opened completely and gave birth :)

- @juliakm cool) thank you for sharing your experience, I also read that all the strength goes into contractions, but there is no strength for pushing

- @asselka909, please :)

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