If a 10-year-old boy is growing up in a family, parents are extremely interested in the psychology of education. It is not for nothing that this age is considered between childhood and adulthood. The child’s hormonal levels change dramatically or the prerequisites for changes in the physiology and psychology of the teenager are just being discovered. The task of parents is to help their son overcome this difficult time, emphasizing that change is normal, and grow up.

Adolescence is one of the most important, influencing the further development of personality, a critical period in a person’s life. Physiological and psychological changes, contradictory tendencies cause sudden changes in mood, impulsiveness in the child’s behavior, and sometimes inadequacy, an unexpected change of interests.

Adolescence is called the time of the second birth of personality. And this birth is not without pain. Adolescents suffer from misunderstanding on the part of adults, from confusion of feelings, contradictory intentions, interests, and aspirations. Adults suffer: children have become rude, withdrawn, and not frank. The world of a teenager is complex, contradictory, and full of constant change. But he is open to understanding. To be understood is the very first thing teenagers want.

A teenager cannot cope with the consequences of changes occurring in the nervous system, and looks for the cause in his environment - parents and friends. Parents irritate the child with their demands and requests; friends - incomprehensibility, inconsistency. Mental imbalance leads to a lack of stability in relationships with friends and adults. Friendship with “bad” company is also possible. In this case, you should not criticize your son’s friends or forbid him to communicate with them, because the child will do the opposite simply because a feeling of contradiction prevails. The task of parents is to tactfully and calmly explain to the child the advantages or disadvantages of friends, and their own, and lead him to certain conclusions. If a teenager independently formulates what a friend should be, it will be his own opinion.

From the age of 10, a transformation of the thinking process occurs. Abstract concepts such as friendship, love, betrayal and others are filled with real content for the child. He begins to notice that the people around him can say one thing and do something completely different. Understanding the contradictions in thoughts, words and actions, a growing person begins to be more critical of the demands of adults, often entering into conflicting relationships with them. This is more typical for boys, who by nature are more active and aggressive.

Personal and emotional development of boys

For this period, both positive (showing independence, embracing new areas of activity) and negative (including conflict, disharmony of character) aspects are indicative.

Developmental tasks that arise before a child at ten years of age and continue until the end of adolescence:

• formation of gender role identity;
• development of interpersonal skills, effective communication;
• changing family relationships based on emotional independence while maintaining material and moral support;
• development of abstract thinking;
• formation of adequate self-esteem and development of self-awareness;
• formation of value orientations and worldview.

The struggle to be like everyone else and at the same time stand out leads to emotional instability. The opinion of other children becomes more important to the son than the opinion of his parents. Boys assert themselves through friendship with older children, slang, rudeness or clowning, strength or helpfulness to a stronger person. This period goes differently for everyone. From the variety of requirements and norms of society, patterns of behavior, a teenager chooses those that will subsequently become the basis of his personality - a system of personal meanings.

The difficulties of raising a son

At this age, psychological monitoring reveals low self-esteem in children, rejection of themselves, their bodies and abilities, shyness, and lack of self-confidence. In relation to parents, a child can behave rudely and defiantly, this is how he tries to demonstrate his maturity and express accumulated experiences. He constantly tests his courage and willpower. Such changes in the son's personality inevitably require a restructuring - from the authority of obedience to equal partnership.

Parents have no choice but to come to terms with the fact that the child is growing up and moving away from the family. Control is necessary, but much softer and more persistent. The son must understand that there are certain boundaries that cannot be crossed in one’s actions. At the same time, he should have a certain freedom in choosing additional activities, friends, how to spend his leisure time, etc.

Communication with both parents is important. The mother will continue to provide the much-needed emotional warmth and care, and will develop courage and determination. At this age, the child strives to contact any man who happens to be nearby, by all means available to him. If the father or stepfather is not nearby, the mother needs to take care of the positive male influence on her son. This could be a grandfather, a caring neighbor, a sports coach, etc. Otherwise, the boy has a high chance of growing up soft and indecisive.

Advice from a psychologist to parents of teenage sons:

• Do not abuse punishments and prohibitions, find the reason for this behavior, remember that your son needs an individual approach.
• Show interest in your child’s hobbies, support him in any endeavors, try to be your son’s friend.
• In situations of conflict, do not start with criticism of the child, but try to understand the motive of his action and find a way out together.
• Identify the child’s strengths and qualities and develop them by giving feasible tasks. It is of great importance for a boy to experience happiness and joy from success.
• Help your son to be good, smart, kind, brave. Notice his masculine actions and believe in him; a teenager needs to feel significant, special, and needed. This will help build his self-esteem.
• Help your teenager develop his life goals, teach him to confidently defend his point of view in various situations.
• Treat your child the way you want him to treat you and others.

If parents respect their son’s personality, he will grow up to be a harmoniously developed person with self-esteem, successful, courageous and decisive - just like a real man should be.

Many parents notice how is changing their child is 10 years old, at what rate is he growing and develops. Especially girls. What can I say - this is the first stage of adolescence.

Physiological features

At 10 years old, a child stretches out, height on average it is 134 - 140 cm, weight 34 - 36 kg.

Happening hormonal change in the body. Girls develop faster than boys body Some of them change: breasts are formed, hips are rounded. It leads to embarrassment and embarrassment.

Finish changing teeth. As a rule, all the dairy ones fell out, and the indigenous ones grew in their place. You should visit once every six months dentist for the prevention of caries and abnormal tooth growth.

Psychological and mental development of ten-year-old children

Primary activity - educational. But in addition to complete immersion in studies, more and more children are drawn to communicate with peers.

Children already have a lot understand and they can explain. And they begin to communicate with people “in an adult way.” More compete with each other in strength, wit, clothing, accessories and more.

The children's team already has leaders, there are outcasts, internal interest groups have formed. Opinion friends is very important. The child is increasingly moving away from his parents, he wants to be an adult, but you can negotiate with him, talk, he still needs parental advice.

Many psychologists They believe that an important step in the development of the personality of a child of primary school age is the emergence of “adulthood”.

Indicators of the emergence of “adulthood”

• The child wants to be treated like an adult.
• The child wants to carry out an assignment independently, like an adult (for example, to go shopping on his own).
• He hides some personal matters and conversations. Doesn't want adults to interfere.
• Tries to defend his own position.

Parents need

• Talk with your child about various topics, including security on the street, at home, about the dangers of smoking, alcohol and psychoactive substances, as well as sexually maturation and relationships with the opposite sex.
• Control studies and extracurricular activities: visiting clubs and sections.
• Know children and, preferably, families of children with whom the child is friends and hangs out.
• Show private example.
• Identify pets responsibilities child (for example, taking out the trash, cleaning your room).
• Follow food child and sleep (at least 9-10 hours).
• Limit watching TV shows, films, computer games, as well as monitoring visits and communication on the Internet.

At 10-11 years old, your offspring is no longer small, but not yet a teenager. This is a very difficult period, both in human development and in the relationship between the child and parents. At this age, not only child psychology changes, but also physiology.

It is noteworthy that the period before puberty, namely 10-11 years, does not proceed the same way for everyone: some cope independently, and quite well, while others need the help of a psychologist who will help them survive this difficult period.

PHYSIOLOGICAL CHANGES IN A 10-11 YEAR OLD CHILD

Every parent should know which ones physiological changes his offspring will be affected.

Firstly, at the age of 10-11 years, growth accelerates; children often become “lanky” due to the sharp growth of the skeleton and limbs. Secondly, the mass of muscles increases, which, however, are not yet able to withstand prolonged stress. Therefore, it is important to control the time of physical activity and rest.

Thirdly, external signs of gender are becoming more and more noticeable (rounding of the pelvis in girls, changes in the appearance of the genitals, etc.).

Many children begin to develop complexes due to the changes occurring in their body, hence the appearance of isolation, irritability and reluctance to listen to adults.

CHARACTER OF A CHILD AT 10-11 YEARS OLD

IN character The child also experiences changes, sometimes not for the better: children are often distracted from the educational process, behave defiantly, and react sharply to the slightest remark. At the same time, schoolchildren now need more time to complete homework, and the reason for this does not lie in their volume.

Parents must be prepared for the fact that the child is about to begin to rebel against their control, and indeed against everything that he previously agreed with. If you go too far somewhere or, conversely, give in, the loss of parental authority is not far off.

The peculiarity of age is that the opinion of peers (and other adults) becomes more important for the child than the parent’s. And now the girl will be a popular flirt from the class, and not her mother. Therefore, if you begin to openly criticize your child’s boyfriend or girlfriend, rest assured that your yesterday’s child will do exactly the opposite out of a sense of contradiction.

Therefore, it is necessary to criticize a child’s friends very delicately without any prohibitions. If you don’t like one of your peers, it’s enough to draw your child’s attention to the negative qualities of his friend, which do not quite correspond to his age or standards of behavior.

You should not try to forcefully tie your child to you; you will have to come to terms with the fact that your “little bear” will now move further and further away from you. But you shouldn’t just let the situation take its course and deprive your child of even a small amount of control. All problems must be resolved through negotiations, and not through threats and aggression. Teach your child to cooperate with adults, tactfully express their opinions, without feeling afraid of them. After all, it is at this age that the foundation for the future relationship between you and your child is laid, and it is unlikely that in five years you will want to face even greater problems.

10-11 years old is an age at which it is very easy to fall under the influence of “bad people,” so pay attention to the slightest changes in your child’s behavior. After all, it is better to prevent trouble than to reproach yourself for inaction later.

You can often hear indignant ladies talking about how modern men are irresponsible, lazy and not at all masculine. In many respects, of course, they are right. But it is women who most often raise their sons in such a way that they grow up to be infantile people. How to properly raise a boy so that he becomes a real man who is able to take responsibility for his actions and the people close to him? We will try to answer this difficult question in our article.

Developmental psychology

Education is a complex process that must begin at birth and continue throughout life. A man’s ability to engage in self-development in adulthood and acquire that very masculinity that women so want to see depends on how correct and successful it is in childhood and adolescence.

If it is important for a child to feel the boundless protection and love of his mother in the first years of his life, then As he grows older, the example and authority of his father should occupy an increasingly significant place in the boy’s life.

At the age of 7, the baby begins a new, very important stage of his life - the beginning of growing up. It is this period that will become the base on which he will unconsciously rely throughout his life.

You cannot start raising your son at the age of 10 and expect good results from him. It is pointless. In order to understand how to properly raise a boy of this age, it is necessary to know the characteristics of his psychophysical development in the period from 7 to 11 years.

These difficult years will become indicators of family relationships and will reveal all the upbringing mistakes made earlier.

Special age

Parents begin to reap the first fruits of their upbringing when their son reaches his tenth birthday. It is this age that is characterized by special changes in the physiology and psychology of the child.

In children aged 10 years, a rapid restructuring of the body begins, which is accompanied by the growth of the skeletal system and blood vessels. While the heart muscles do not always keep up with other organs.

The onset of puberty causes severe hormonal changes, which are responsible for the deterioration of memory and attention, and a decrease in intellectual abilities. Moreover, the excitability of the nervous system significantly exceeds the processes of its inhibition, which is expressed in irritability and resentment, harsh judgments and the inability to control one’s emotions.

Raising a 10-year-old boy cannot be successful without taking into account all these physical and mental changes.

Psychological manifestations of age

A 10-year-old child clearly shows changes in family relationships. The boy tries in every possible way to demonstrate his growing up and his own opinion on all issues. This is especially true for relationships with the mother. He begins to be rude and try to prove that he is right.

Emotional and unstable behavior peaks at age eleven. By this age, if the family’s behavior is incorrectly structured, depressive states and self-absorption, aggression and complete refusal to cooperate are possible.

A ten-year-old boy is beginning to be increasingly influenced by his peers. Surrounded by his peers, his behavior changes beyond recognition.

Educational activity is characterized by an unstable nature: restlessness is suddenly replaced by thoughtfulness or excessive zeal.

Despite the outward aggressive desire for independence, during these years boys need support from their families more than ever. Without receiving the approval of loved ones, their anxieties and fears intensify, which leads to even greater isolation and aggressiveness.

Psychologists' studies have proven that 11-year-old boys have the lowest level of self-esteem compared to other age periods.

Team approval

If at the age of 7 for a boy the main motivational moment in life was education, when his worth was assessed based on educational achievements, then by the age of ten the situation begins to change. The boy no longer cares how the teacher evaluates him: his personal significance is formed through his authority among his peers. A fierce competition for leadership begins.

Starting from the age of eight, the child begins to study the boundaries of what is permitted, studying them more and more actively every year. Only boys explore this issue with practical actions that may end in breaking the law. The social development of 8-year-old children is gradually becoming more active.

At this time, it is important for parents to analyze every statement and statement of their son. During conversations, you should unobtrusively ask who the boy is friends with and what he does with his friends. Get ready for the fact that a growing man will no longer share everything at once.

At the same time, you should not reassure yourself that your son is friends only with “decent” guys. These boys also test the limits of their capabilities, experiment and prove their leadership.

In the children's team, a clear distribution of roles begins, and it is based on relationships with peers. As a rule, the position determined by the team at the age of 8 becomes unshakable, and it is quite difficult for a boy to move to “another level.”

Leader, assistant, weakling, scapegoat, nerd - this is an approximate list of basic positions that are most often distributed subconsciously.

Boys who know how to defend their position become leaders and their assistants. And more often
They usually do this with their fists. If for some reason a child cannot stand up for his “honor,” his authority among his peers drops sharply and it will be extremely difficult for him to correct the situation.

When raising children of this age, it is important to take into account the main contradiction: the desire to be the same as everyone else and to stand out clearly among their peers. Boys’ self-affirmation occurs through friendship with older children, whose authority is unshakable for them. That is why at this age there is a great danger of addiction to bad habits and obscene expressions.

Requirements and control

When working with children, it is now very important to regulate demands and their presentation. Let us remember that an adult is no longer an authority, so all demands and requests are perceived as incorrect and unnecessary.

The child begins to determine life values ​​for himself, which can often run counter to parental ideals. He does not yet fully understand their meaning and content, but begins to fiercely defend them, entering into conflicts that seem stupid and senseless to adults.

Moreover, the period of secondary education involves the work of different teachers, each of whom has their own position and requirements. The boy gradually moves into “his territory”, in which there is less and less space for adults.

Self-affirmation is an essential element of growing up. Stubbornness and unwillingness to be under the control of adults increasingly takes the form of conflict. It is now that boys choose those demands that they are ready to obey, since they do not violate their “sovereignty.” The correct position of adults will allow them to make the right choice, because their entire future position in life depends on it.

At the age of eight, the first emotional experiences associated with the opposite sex begin to appear. At the same time, boys do not know how to correctly express their emotions. The task of adults is to guide them in the right direction, explaining that the manifestation of such feelings is natural and necessary.

Under no circumstances should you laugh at a boy’s feelings, especially in the presence of his peers! After all, you can undermine his authority, which will be difficult for him to regain again.

This period is dangerous with experiments. The boys demonstrate their courage, strength and dexterity. Exactly
Therefore, news reports are constantly updated with information about boys taking selfies on the roofs of high-rise buildings or moving trains. Brutal fights, which must be recorded on a mobile phone camera, are another way to prove your courage.

During this period, parents are obliged to know as much as possible about their sons and control their actions as unobtrusively as possible! Otherwise, the demonstration of superiority can end very badly.

The right cooperation

How to raise a 9-year-old boy so that he grows up to be a real man?

First of all, raising a boy during this period should be based on cooperation and trust. Moreover, on the son’s trust in his parents, and not vice versa.

Adults should give the boy the opportunity to realize himself in society, teach him to identify the most effective and correct ways of communication, and correct low self-esteem and shortcomings. Only with the help of parents can personal contradictions be avoided.

If adults do not take an active part in the self-affirmation of their sons, encourage reasonable boundaries of freedom and the ability to defend their position correctly, this is fraught with the following consequences:

• The child becomes aggressive, thus expressing a protest against the rejection of adults;
• Cynicism and manipulation of human weaknesses appear, and most often parents come under fire;
• Hypocrisy and weakness will become a manifestation of self-affirmation through intrigue and adaptation to circumstances;
• The inability to protect oneself from the aggression of stronger ones is expressed in a constant search for patrons. In male society, such boys are usually called “sixes.”

To avoid such abnormal manifestations of development, raising children of this age should help satisfy the two most important needs:

• The need to communicate with peers. It is important to encourage any communication with peers outside of school;
• The need to affirm one’s own tastes and preferences. Do not prevent the boy from choosing games, friends or clothes on his own. After all, forming your own opinion and line of behavior is only possible through trial and error.

Remember! It is not the growing sons who should adapt to your value system. It is you, the parents, who must be able to adapt in time and learn to cooperate with your child. The difficult period of growing up does not tolerate authoritarianism; it requires partnership.

• Find the golden mean between severity and affection. Both are vital for growing boys;
• The child should feel that his parents will always come to the rescue and support him in any situation. Help should not consist in punishing the offender, but in clarifying the conflict situation, with its full analysis;
• Give the boy freedom of choice; this is the only way he can grow up to be a man who is aware of the responsibility for his actions;
• Don't criticize, but give hints;
• Don't let your son feel humiliated: don't insult him;
• Love your child and be sure to tell him about this love as often as possible. Regardless of age, a son wants to know that his parents love him not for his achievements, but because he is their son.

Raising a 10-11 year old child is a difficult task. Only those parents who managed to show maximum respect and love for their growing son during this difficult period will be able to cope with it.

Physical development of a child at 10 years old

Like all parents, are you also surprised at how quickly your child is growing? It seems like we were recently sent off to first grade, and already the first round anniversary is 10 years old!
The height of children at this age: the height of boys is 125.6 - 136.3 cm, girls - 129-142 cm (don’t be surprised, but at this age girls really grow faster than boys - girls begin to develop much faster than boys, which will continue for several years). The weight of a boy at 10 years old is 27.7 - 34.9 kg, the weight of a girl at 10 years old is 28.2 - 35.1 kg.

It is very important at this age to cultivate and maintain self-esteem. This way your child will be confident in himself and his abilities, will be able to find a solution in difficult life situations, will not be influenced by other children and will do what he does not want (vandalism, hooliganism).

Many ten-year-old children behave like adults: they already have such language skills and knowledge that they can formulate thoughtful and organized thoughts and express opinions as adults express them. Therefore, it will be interesting to be in his company, since he is a good conversationalist. But remember, he is still a child (!) who wants to run, jump and play.

At the age of ten, there is an acute moment - against parental control in any of its manifestations. It is very easy to lose authority. If you give up somewhere or, conversely, go too far, the thin psychological thread that connects you with your child will break. The paradox of this age is that a teenager is more susceptible to the influence of strangers than his own parents. And many, many people influence him. Therefore, it is important to be a friend to your child!

Intellectual development of a child at 10 years old

At this age, children are active learners - they like to learn new things. Reading skills have moved beyond learning and most children enjoy more challenging literature. They learn more and more difficult, unknown words. Their logic contributes to writing essays and expressing thoughts and criticism on paper. , discuss them, read them together! Children always enjoy not only independently collecting information and research, but also working together with their parents. And don't forget to praise! It is very important to recognize children's work.

The need and ability to complete the work begun is already beginning to form.

Research shows that 62-63% of boys choose a profession that was discussed in detail with their parents at the age of 10-12 years.

Then, in adolescence, they discussed other professions, but, having passed puberty, they returned to their previous interests. So parents should be especially attentive to the boy’s interests at this age, and discuss with him more often and in more detail what he would like to do professionally. At this age, he makes some crafts (car models, for example), some drawings, collects something, collects something. In a couple of years, as a teenager, he will most often forget about all this. But the parents’ task is to preserve all this completely, so that the boy can look at it all and return to it all. Psychotherapist Deborah Tannen emphasizes: “The hobbies and interests of a 10-12 year old boy come from the depths of his soul, they are generated by his innermost interests and abilities. All later interests are imposed on him by the microsociety; behind them is the desire to please the “inner circle”.

Mother

Mothers of ten-year-old children should become excellent psychologists by this childhood age. The child grows and changes almost before our eyes. If you are the mother of a girl, tell her about growing up, about her first menstruation, prepare her for growing up. Mothers of boys should try not to raise infantile sons. And here dad should help you!

Moms, the microclimate in the family depends on you! Therefore, make every effort to ensure that your child finds it interesting at home, with you, and not outside (for the sake of child safety).

You know what interests your child, right?! Therefore, go to performances, competitions, musicals, and interesting show programs together.

And be sure to take time for yourself! Otherwise, it threatens “professional” burnout...

Common everyday life

Your child is 10 years old, which means your whole family can play quests and even come up with them yourself. Any activity is good - so go cycling, rollerblading, skating, skiing together. If dad or mom is interested in rock climbing, it’s time to introduce the child to it. (the instructor will help you choose a suitable “rock”).

At this age, children love. Therefore, collect a home library or invite your child to visit the municipal library. Also, 10-year-olds still love being read to aloud.

Good gross motor skills allow a child to: soccer, basketball, gymnastics, skating and much more. In computer and video games, this is already a serious contender with increased coordination and reflexes. If before this he knew nothing about musical instruments, then it’s worth introducing him. Might you like it?

At the age of ten it is already possible. This option (provided that the place where you are going to send your son or daughter is proven and worthy) is close to ideal. At camp, your child is both independent and supervised. You can combine business with pleasure and send your child to a specialized camp - a sports camp or one that specializes in learning foreign languages.

At the age of 10, a child becomes more interested in the company of peers than in yours. You shouldn’t forbid communicating with someone you don’t like, criticizing friends, and generally excessively expressing negative emotions towards those around your offspring. You can be sure that everything will be done exactly the opposite - simply out of a sense of contradiction. Even if, try to calmly tell him about it. The wording “I forbid you to communicate with him” is categorically not suitable. On the contrary, emphasize that you respect his choice, but ask him to pay attention to some character traits that, in your opinion, do not really correspond to the status of a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Try to come to terms with the fact that your child is gradually moving away from you, do not try to tie him to you by force. A certain degree of control is certainly necessary. But you shouldn’t respond to aggression with aggression. A child who actively asserts his own “I” can be convinced of anything only through negotiations. Give advice, but don't be intrusive. Be persistent, but don't push too hard - the effect will be exactly the opposite.

Come up with some joint activities that will be interesting for both you and your child. It happens that the parents of a friend or girlfriend are more respected by the child than his own. The reasons can be very different: from the personal qualities of other people's parents to the fear that the child experiences in front of his father and mother. At ten or eleven years old, a person is already quite mature, and relationships with him largely depend on the ability of those who are older to cooperate.

To-do list

1. Choose a suitable camp for children's holidays during the holidays(preference should be given to sports and recreational or language).
2. Register your child for additional classes(studying of foreign language).
3. Offer your child extracurricular creative activities(relevant for mothers of girls, dancing is suitable for boys).
4. Have your children's teeth checked by a dentist twice a year.
5. Visit a pediatric dermatologist, if during the period of growing up the child began to have skin problems.