Oksana has a metallurgist (coal mountain),
Svetlana has a playwright (in the theater forever),
Marie has an American (very sexy boy),
Natasha has an Italian (amore-sea-mine).

Like my mother
There were eight daughters.

Chorus:
That I was left alone, not wooed.
I'm not guilty, I'm not guilty
Everyone says that love will suddenly strike unexpectedly.

Tamara has a boyfriend (the girl was lucky),
Famous conductor (definitely lucky)
Olesya has an oil worker (wow),
Tatyana has a producer (nothing too).

Did I give that one
A promise to love.

Chorus:
Mom, well, I'm not to blame, I'm not to blame
Everybody says love, love, this is probably it.

Well, if anyone is to blame, then he is to blame,
And my such ... could have become a poet, but even then something was not successful,
Well, but he sings better than anyone else in the world and songs about love.

Oksana's grooms (my mothers),
An oligarch appeared (girls hold on)
Marie has a Neanderthal (very sexy boy),
With Tanya weird Italian (amore-sea-mine).

Are they happy
After all, they are not in love.

Chorus:
Mum,
That I cannot love the rich without love.
Well, I'm not guilty, I'm not guilty,
I'm not guilty, I'm not guilty
That I cannot love the rich without love,
Well, I'm not guilty, I'm not guilty,
That I cannot love without love ...

Oksana has a metallurgist,
Svetlana has a playwright,
Olesya has an oil worker,
Tatyana has a producer.

Oksana has an oligarch ... Oksana metallurgical (coal hill)
Svetlana playwright (in theater forever)
Marie American (very sexy boy),
Natasha Italian (amore-sea-mine).

Like my mother
It was eight daughters.

Chorus:

What "s left I" m not one such Woo.
I "m not guilty, I" m not guilty
Everyone says - love was coming suddenly out of the blue.

Tamara admirer (the girl was lucky)
Famous conductor (just lucky)
Olesya has oilman (wow)
There Producer Tatiana (too personal).

And what if I gave
The promise of love.

Chorus:
Mom, well, I "m not guilty, I" m not guilty
All told, love, love, probably, it is.

Oh, and if anyone is to blame, then blame
And my ... this could be a poet, but there "s something not lucky,
Well, yes but the best in the world but he sings songs about love.

Oksana to the groom (my mom)
There was an oligarch (girl holding)
At Marie Neanderthal (very sexy boy),
With Tanya funky Italian (amore-sea-mine).

Unless they are happy,
After all, they are not in love.

Chorus:
Mom,
What I can not love without love rich.
Well, I "m not guilty, I" m not guilty,

I "m not guilty, I" m not guilty,
What I can not love without love rich,
Well, I "m not guilty, I" m not guilty,
What I can not love without love ...

Oksana metallurgist,
Svetlana playwright,
Olesya has oilman,
There Producer Tatiana.

Oksana oligarch ...

Here it happens, you sit to yourself and think - something mine is still not very good! There is little money, some kind of mattress, indecisive, it could be more beautiful, no attention, he cannot find my contact with my mother, some kind of boring and correct, he is not interested in anything in life and does not want anything, he is no father - all the time or at work or at the TV with a computer with beer in hand, he does not give any gifts! Valenok in one word! Everything is already clear with him! Whether it is Masha's husband who can give beautiful underwear for no reason, and a new red car, decorated with a bow and hearts, to fit the maternity hospital with the inscription: "Thank you for your son!"

That's what I understand a man!

And I have so ... There is only one flour! Eh, my mother was right - where were my eyes when I married him! I can still make up my mind, and while my youth is still with me - eh, wow, to find myself a "normal one" and so that it is no worse than Masha's! Why not? I'm even prettier and my figure is better! Children? I have only one life! They will grow up and leave anyway! And I need to think about myself!

And this ability to fall in love at any moment! Be ready, that just about, when you understand that you have been created for the best and you see that men like you and you just want to! And my heart pounds so wildly when you imagine that you are giving birth to him, this "new, real man" a son - and he drives your car to the hospital, even more and more red than Masha's. And Masha also came from the hospital to meet you, and this is her reaction like in a movie, when slow-motion shots - when her eyes widen in surprise and she, drawing out her words, asks: “And is that for you? And from whom? "

“Well, you’re a fool, Masha! From whom? From whom?" - so mildly mimic her! "From my new husband!" And then he, too, like in a movie, all like that in a white tailcoat with a huge bouquet of roses, no, better than orchids - they are more expensive - he gets out of his car, the driver remains inside, he let the guards know - no need to accompany me now, he is running to you to meet you, takes you in his arms and, in front of the amazed Masha's eyes, circles you and kisses you! Everything! Justice has triumphed! Now everything is correct! You can live with such a husband and present to people! And mom is not ashamed to show this!

And handsome, and decisive, and monetary, and attentive, and courageous and impossible all like that! Well, just like you! All so impossible, feminine and beautiful! And to my mother if he does not refuse to help the garden! Right in this white tailcoat he will come! To the envy of all neighbors!

What? Have you never had such thoughts? Just never, never? What are you?

Well, okay - let's pretend together that we have never had something like this in our heads. Someone had it, some had it. We do not know them and do not want to know them.

We are not like that - that's just how we saw off our husband every day, the face is always unhappy - I'm everything for you, but why are you - you can't even help my mother in the garden, I'm tired of serving you, I can't be with you like that anymore, let's try to live separately! I want to erase everything that happened to him. If not for the child. If…

I do not know for whom I am writing all this! After all, everything is not so with everyone. I love everyone. And if suddenly some coincidences - do not believe them, everything is completely accidental. OK. For herself.

So it passed for me. I blame the fact that I am now deprived of this feminine charming naivety "that somewhere there is someone better for me" on the costs of my profession. Something tough and cruel. For everything that I learn from people. About their families and their suffering.

After that number of genealogical trees (let's call it that - I don't want to load you with terminology) that I drew in ten years, I stopped perceiving men separately. Without his family. How is it for everyone normal women going on. She just sees a man. One man. An adult single man. And it is easy for her to get carried away by him alone! Easy! And I do not see him alone from the beginning. And I have questions for him not like most women will have - about the salary, who you work for, where you live and come on, but not right away, I'm not like that.

I don't care about his salary and his car. Well, and some more details. They don't care at all. I am worried about how his parents lived with each other, whether his parents were together, whether he knows his father, whether his father drank, whether his mother got married again, whether she is healthy, if not - what is ill, does he have brothers and sisters and what kind of relationship they all have with each other, does he have ex-wife and whether he has children and what kind of relationship he has with them. All this will bother me very much! And when you start to delve into all this, and not worry about the size of his wallet, in order to “sell” himself more profitably or so that he would be flexible and easily agree “to have you on the parcels”, this is where mom - do not grieve!

Lord, which of us will know about all this when we get married? We are good! What mom-dad! And he’s in bed, I’ll tell you! So, a wedding is an urgent wedding! And, oh, I think I'm already pregnant - I urgently need to buy a test. That's all.

And all these questions that I would ask, because because of my work I know, people start asking when there are already common children and an apartment on a mortgage.

And here it may turn out that his brother or sister has a mental illness - and he or she is registered, his dad is his unrestrained alcoholic, and his mother got married three times and everything was unsuccessful, dad started several businesses and always turned out to be bankrupt.

So what? Just think! But only the child seems to have some kind of mental problems, the husband himself did not seem to drink, but on weekends, like in the song of Semyon Slepakov - "every Friday I'm in g ... oh!", His lonely mother is capricious, demands more and more attention, and his ex-wife still calls with insults and does not give any rest, but you see, once a month he still goes there to spend the night! And in general, how long can you burn out with your new projects.

And here at work such a nice colleague! Well, this one !!! Both courageous and decisive! And he will move the chair, and invite him to dinner, and listen, and leave the rose on the table.

By the way, he is aware that things are not going well in my family and he supports me very much. And it’s unaware, the poor girl, that a man who gets involved in a couple’s relationship, even with his innocent support, is simply competing with her husband at this moment, and when she divorces it’s not a fact that his interest in her will not fade away. And if you dig even further - this is not a man at all, this is a traumatized child who had BAAAAL PROBLEMS in the marriage of his parents, very big. These are serious injuries, which he compensates in adulthood by picking up other people's nests, because there is unbearable pain in his soul. Because maybe the father left. Either he had to protect his mother all the time from his father, who either drank or did not bring money, or there was assault. And now he, just like his mother from his father, saves you from your husband. He is interested in saving you! To feel yourself again! What do you have to do with it? Sweetheart, naive, lovely ...

It is an illusion that this nice, understanding colleague has no family history, no family ailments, no family trauma! This is such an illusion - that here he is, new - he is free from this!

I do not take cases when your husband is an alcoholic or raises his hand against you, here you have to run right away - at least to someone. First of all, when you run away from him - to a specialist, to figure out why you ended up next to such a person. If you don't understand, the next one will be about the same. We need to get rid of another sweet illusion - "it's all because of him, and I have nothing to do with it!"
This is another myth that you are all like yourself, too, without a family background, without scripts, without injuries sustained in childhood.

But, here's the truth, a paradox, those who need to run - they just do not run anywhere. They sit and endure. Well, the dividends from their entourage remove very good ones for this patience. From their parents, from their own children. Terrible dividends! Terrible dividends! But in another way they can not and do not want to. So many people are always happy to help and support. And if you run away, you have to do a lot by yourself! And reluctance! Here he suffered a little - his drinking binge for a week and you can continue to live, complain about life and collect pity!

In short, what am I talking about? How cool it would be for me to change my husband, and fall in love so that my head is spinning! And so that Masha, her friend, can wipe her nose! So now I can even dream calmly now, the authorities cannot about it! When I understand that every person has his script, there are mothers and fathers, there is their story - and this will still have to be dealt with! Either now or later. With this husband, or with that! If you don’t want to understand, life will force, teach, push. I didn't want to deal with the first, the second, well, with the third, it means both yourself and your family history! If it comes to the third!

How great it would be if people had time to ask another person before a relationship! Before you sniff in bed and dizzy! Until the children appeared, there is still no mortgage, while the names are different. Questions that will affect the rest of your life. And not at all about the salary! And not about what you might be thinking)))

And if you have already found yourself in such a situation that they did not know anything, when you could find out everything, start now asking questions and do something about it with the person who is nearby. Because another “normal” who is “better, richer” will also have moms and dads, betrayals and divorces between them, childhood grievances, complexes and fears. Because he, too, was once a child. So are you! As well as you, who is now really already an adult aunt! She seems to be an adult, but everyone believes in all sorts of fairy tales about limousines, big salaries and a "better husband"!

With the arrival of spring, the youth and beauty of each girl begins to unfold with renewed vigor. And it seems that a wonderful time begins, not only of the season, but also of such a fleeting life, but for some reason many of us do not feel happy, but rather feel an incomprehensible emptiness.

This feeling comes from dissatisfaction with personal life, or rather lack of it.

And so, one day we understand that a good young man is showing interest in us. At first we are flattered, then we slowly begin to build relationships. We feel that he does not suit us, that this is “the wrong person,” but for some reason we persistently think that over time everything will change. This is the biggest misconception.

Will it endure and fall in love?

One girl does not like that her boyfriend is unsure of himself, another that her companion has come to a date drunk, the third is probably repelled by something else. But we continue to build relationships with them.

And now several years pass, and what do we see? The man remains the same. The one that cannot be strong and self-confident remains the same, the drinker continues to "communicate with the bottle", the girls still do not like it, but the couples are used to each other, everything seems to be going on as usual, they are sorry to leave.

She gets annoyed because of little things, "cuts" her soul mate, and is afraid to disperse with him, does not know where to look for another and puts up with the current situation. The man is also not happy: his girlfriend is constantly annoyed, reproaches him for this or that offense, gradually his hands give up even more, because he does not see gratitude for what he did for her (after all, he’s not so bad, he continues to try for his girls).

Fear of loneliness

Why can't we immediately break off this relationship, why don't we allow ourselves to choose the one who suits us best? All this is due to self-doubt, we are afraid. We are afraid to be left alone.

When our mothers and grandmothers say: “And at your age I was already married and raised two children, but what are you?”. We are afraid that we will not be able to meet a good person and we grab onto what we have.

We forget about our desires, we spit on our needs ... And all for the sake of the so-called "love", which in fact does not exist, but there is only fear and two exhausted people. And at this moment the circle closes, we are unhappy, and we continue to remain so.

We do not want to change something in our life, from this we become even more irritable and aggressive. We blame our man for all our troubles.

Loneliness or ... freedom?

Meanwhile, our peers live life to the fullest. They go on dates with different people, get a lot of positive emotions, take care of themselves, develop their talents. These girls are not afraid of anything, they value their time and therefore they themselves choose with whom to spend it.

They can themselves invite the man they like on a date if they find him interesting. Even if he refuses, it doesn't matter for her. She can afford to be the first to kiss a man on a date. Why not actually? It's the twenty-first century, girls, we can do the same things as men!

And now she finds a man with whom she feels good, with him she feels safe, he attracts her spiritually and physically. Only with him does she begin to build serious relationship... In such a family, harmony will reign, all problems will seem insignificant to them.

Love or calculation?

Men mistakenly consider such girls to be materialistic, they can say: “She chose him because he is richer…. He's prettier ... "... This is a deep misconception, most likely she chose another, because you were not smart enough and did not understand the needs of your girlfriend.

These men are trying to make us feel ashamed. Why should she be ashamed? She broke off, in advance doomed to failure, relationships, thereby freeing herself and him for a new stage in her life.

Girls, the choice is always yours! Stay in the shadow of your fears or walk confidently through life, do what you love, enjoy life.

And, believe me, very soon you will not be walking alone! * heart *