What to do with unwanted gifts? To simplify, we divide them into two groups: gifts with conditions, explicit or hidden, and simply inappropriate gifts. Gifts with Explicit or Hidden Conditions In such gifts, in addition to the thing, you get hints, obligations, a duty to do something to the giver, a feeling that you are wrong about something, a decrease in self-esteem, manipulation, and other “pleasant” surprises. Such a gift at first causes bewilderment, and negative emotions like anger or resentment appear a little later. For example, people do not hesitate to accompany the gift with words like “and I hope that now you will be more favorable to me”, or the more innocent phrase “next time we will drink tea from this set”, or something like this: “and you will spend this money for training, which I have been telling you about for so long" (as an option - "rather give us grandchildren"). Feeling confused? - This is a sure signal that they are trying to manipulate you.

Fact: much more common than a true attempt at manipulation is "holy simplicity." The giver sincerely wishes well and believes that it will be better for you. Or he could not think of anything else, or did not even think about how such a present would be perceived by you. Is this your case? Then just move it to the “inappropriate gift” group and read on.

Another option for a gift with explicit conditions might look like a complaint about the incredible amount of effort and time spent finding and buying a gift. Complaining about what complicated tricks the donor had to go to just to get this particular thing just for you on this particular day. As a condition, the same reciprocal obligation is implied here: you must spend time, effort, resources, or something else that you have and that the donor claims. How to respond to gifts "with the expectation of a response"?

How to recognize the "games" of the giver As a rule, such gifts have some element of surprise in the context of your relationship. It can be an unexpectedly expensive gift from a poor person, or just a very expensive gift with the price tag still intact. Or a surprise from someone you haven't talked to in years. A gift with a hidden condition is an unpleasant story that you have to rack your brains over to understand the motives. Behind it may be hidden old complicated relationship with disassembly and unreasonable demands. Or your negative past experience associated with gifts from this person.

What to do In this case, it is right to refuse a gift - find every opportunity not to accept it. “Do not accept” means either not to take the gift in hand at all, or to return it as soon as possible. Try to be tactful when returning a gift. Refuse politely, don't do it in public or with judgmental, if truthful, remarks like "You're trying to make me feel like you owe me." Refer to allergies, business ethics - find any wording that will not offend (hint article - how to politely refuse a person without offending him). Do not leave the donated on your territory in any case. If the giver didn't take the gift himself, get rid of it anyway in any civilized way.

What to do if you can not refuse Imagine that your mother gives you money for your birthday with the condition that you spend it on something that she (and not you) considers important. Immediately returning the envelope to her for many will mean conflict, strong resentment and worsening relations, which not everyone is ready to do. Unfortunately, sometimes you won’t be able to refuse such a conditional gift, and you still have to experience a whole range of unpleasant emotions. We have already talked about refusal at the time of donation. Sometimes the option “do not accept without informing the giver” is possible: you decide internally that you do not take this thing, and get rid of it as quickly as possible. Thus, you are freed from obligations and debt. True, the donor will not automatically be released from his expectations, and later you will need to explain to him why you do not fulfill his conditions.

What gives confidence. Remind yourself that saying no is okay. You have the right to say no. 2. You are not required to accept all gifts from everyone - there is no such law.3. Refusing a gift does not mean that you are a poorly educated person with a bad temper. 4. You are not obliged to unquestioningly submit to the manipulative attempts of other people.5. Even if you accepted a gift with a condition, you are still not required to do what is expected of you, regardless of the opinion of the giver on this matter. 6. The sooner you return the gift, the better for you in the long run. 7. Do not deceive the giver, making it clear that you accepted the gift, if in fact you threw it away. You should not voice non-existent reasons like "I broke him" or "He is somewhere on the mezzanine." Firstly, in this way you become entangled in lies, secondly, mutual expectations and requirements will remain the same, and thirdly, both of you will feel discomfort and inconvenience, and this does not contribute to building relationships. 8. By refusing such a gift, you protect the boundaries of your personal space and try to build relationships. Fact: not rejoicing at a gift with conditions, not wanting to accept it and experiencing negative feelings about it is normal. You are not required to do what is expected of you.

Just the wrong gifts The second type of gifts is a more common story. As a rule, we accept them, and then we begin to think about where to attach them: on the mezzanine or immediately in the trash, intentionally break or re-gift, or maybe even sell them. Endless cheap Santa Clauses and snow-covered houses for the New Year, cups and glasses one at a time, clothes and household goods in the wrong size or style, souvenirs bought "just not to show up empty-handed", soap dishes with an indecent image of Harry Potter, brought from Europe, and the whole similar assortment - it does not contain any malicious background in your address. People constantly have to solve a difficult problem: what to give. About a serious test for the psyche, when you need to go to the store and choose don't-know-what-but-to-like, we already wrote.

What to do if you don't like the giftRemember what Marie Kondo wrote in her book: the gift fulfilled its function at the moment of giving. With the help of this thing, they showed you that they thought about you, they didn’t forget about you, they want good for you. On this, the gift business ended, and it became your property. You can dispose of it as if you bought it yourself. And you probably bought something unsuccessful more than once, not suitable in size or under the influence of emotions. And surely you have had experience of how to get rid of such things, even if at the same time you experienced some regret or annoyance. Here is the same situation. Use any instruction if you don’t know how to deal with unnecessary things, since there are now a million of them on this issue. Adopt the same Marie Kondo method. Your house is not made of rubber, it will not be able to accommodate all the unfortunate and inappropriate that you personally or other people bought for you. BY TOPIC…Secrets of order: A new book and new ideas from cleaning guru Marie Kondo

What prevents you from throwing it out I will assume that in your head there are a number of beliefs or rules that we learned once very long ago, forgetting to comprehend how true and universal they really are. We just took them for granted and are still using them automatically. Here are examples of such beliefs (find your own): A gift is not re-gifted. New items are not thrown away. It is indecent to give a thing you do not need (“on, to you, God, what is worthless to me”). Selling a gift or even more so returning it to a store is the height of bad manners. This may be a series of assumptions about the giver or about himself: He will be offended if he finds out that I got rid of the gift. He expects me to use this thing for the rest of my life. He had to find something suitable. I have to use what they give me. I shouldn't upset other people. I will have to deceive him, supposedly I will use his gift, and it is not good to do so. In most cases, such fears are exaggerated and completely or largely untrue.

What if it's your gifts that aren't accepted? For example, you have a daughter-in-law, daughter, or son that you "can't please." Whatever you donate, they don’t like it, and your gift is refused? Go back to the beginning and reread the text with the thought “what should I do not to.” In most cases, the problem is “baggage”: redundant stories about the severity of the search and the moral obligations that accompany the gift. If it is important for you to start accepting gifts, try to formulate your wish as concisely as possible. And do not "lay out" moral obligations immediately - in response to gratitude. This is exactly the very dangerous moment when you can ruin everything (we talked more about it in the material “How to respond to compliments”). It is very important to learn to accept praise.

Happy New Year! more you need and nice gifts. YOUR TURN…Give us gift ideas that you think are always appropriate. What good gifts do you remember? What are you going to give to friends and family this year?

The holiday is over, the guests have dispersed, and, of course, hands are reaching for packages with gifts - what did friends and relatives please this time? Alas, indeed useful gifts- units. The rest can be safely put back in the bags and hidden in the closet. Although no, there is no more space left in the closet.

Where to put useless gifts? Understanding...

Parsing bad gifts - dangerous, offensive or unnecessary

Of course, everyone's tastes are different. For one, a set of bath accessories will be a useless and offensive gift, for another - the third multicooker. Therefore, we note the most popular gifts from useless, offensive or even dangerous.

Offensive gifts

• Cosmetics from the series "Isn't it time for you, old galosh, to tighten your flabby skin?". Yes, the product can be very expensive, and the bottle is insanely beautiful. Yes, the gift is certainly made from the heart. But it is unlikely that an adult woman who herself is frightened of her reflection in the morning will be pleased with such a sign of attention. It is worth noting that even close relatives often accept such presents with mental resentment.
• Bathroom sets. To fragrant soap, as many gifted people joke, only a fluffy rope is missing. Of course, such sets, densely covering the shelves on the eve of the holidays, beckon with their baskets, bright bottles and tubes, and low prices. But it is one thing to “knead” such a gift among others, more valuable, for your children, relatives (shampoo is never superfluous!), And it’s quite another to solemnly hand over the set to a colleague or friend. At a minimum, a person will think that they are hinting at uncleanliness or simply did not become particularly puzzled by the choice of a present. Which is also embarrassing.
• Socks, deodorants, shaving accessories. Every year, in anticipation of February 23rd, men sigh heavily and vow to “revenge” on March 8th if shaving foam or a bouquet of socks turns out to be a gift again. You should not torment your faithful or work colleagues with such presents. Turn on your fantasy.
• Subscription to a beauty salon for an anti-cellulite wrap or a gym, a slimming belt, anti-cellulite pants, etc. For a woman, such a gift is a disaster. Unless it's from your beloved mom, who, of course, won't tell anyone about your orange peel.
• A “pleasant” trifle in the form of pens, calendars, cups or notepads. Such souvenirs can be given to colleagues on whom you do not want to spend your money. But for a loved one or friend, this gift will be an indicator of your attitude towards him.

Useless Gifts

• Figurines, magnets and other "souvenir". Usually they are simply poured into boxes and put away in a closet. Because there is nowhere to put it, and laziness to wash the dust, and in general "does not fit the overall design." And on the refrigerator, there is already no living place - all in magnets. Another option is if you are buying a rare souvenir for a collector. For example, a rare figurine for a friend's collection, a super-original Christmas tree-shaped candle for a friend who collects just such Christmas trees, or a magnet from Spain for a friend who collects magnets from different countries(and there is no such thing yet). Leave the rest at the store if you don't want your plaster hippo to fly into the basket after you leave.
• Subscriptions to a gym (swimming pool, bowling, etc.), which a person will never go to for anything. Before making such a gift, one should at least take an interest in the interests of a person.
• Tickets to the cinema, theater, concert of a famous artist. Firstly, the taste and color, as they say ... If you are delighted with, for example, Nadezhda Kadysheva, this does not mean that everyone is eager to "go to" her. Yes, and a person may simply not have time. Your tickets will remain untouched in the kitchen among a pile of newspapers, or, at best, will be given away to a fan of Russian folk songs just like you.
• Handmade crafts. Embroidered napkins, macrame, quilling postcards and other little things only in your eyes are a work of art. For the rest of the majority - another nonsense for the box in which children's crafts are already gathering dust. In order not to be upset later that your efforts were not appreciated, choose other options for gifts. Of course, if you paint pictures professionally, create masterpiece carpets self made or paint dishes in modern style, then your gift will be appreciated and even, probably, adapted in the living room. But this is more the exception than the rule. Adequately assess your talents and rely not only on the praise of relatives who are glad that your hands are busy with at least something, but also on the opinions of strangers.
• Cheap utensils. Again, at best, she will be taken to the country. At worst, they will be completely offended. Well, who needs the 10th set of cheap "terrible" glasses, a frying pan in which everything burns, or another batch of plates "out of color, out of color"?
  Perfume, toilet water. Even the closest person is not always able to guess the very aroma that will match the tastes and mood. It is extremely rare for perfume givers to hit the bull's-eye. And if the perfume "not in the bull's-eye" is also cheap ...

Dangerous Gifts

• Sets of "educational" games not by age. For example, "young chemist" (or "pyrotechnician") for a child of five years old.
• Weapons, crossbows, darts. Such gifts can be given solely on the basis of the age of the child, with the permission of the parents and with the firm conviction that the games will be held under the control of mom and dad. A broken service in a sideboard and fired upon pets are not as scary as the really serious injuries that can be inflicted by these toys. This is especially true for air pistols, which today it has become fashionable for kids to buy (despite the “+18” sign on the boxes). A shot from such a gun can leave a child without an eye.
• Toys with small details for kids. While the child's hands automatically pull everything that lies nearby into the mouth, toys should be chosen very carefully. We leave all small designers on the shelves of the store, we pull all the other toys by the eyes / noses to make sure they are strong.
• Subscriptions for skydiving or other extreme pleasures. For an inexperienced person, such a present can result in serious injuries.
• Flowers in pots. It is also a very fashionable gift option today, to which a rather serious allergy can occur. Check the information about the flower and the health of the person before packing the plant in a holiday bag.
• Cheap cosmetics. At least they won't have any effect. In the worst case, a serious allergy may occur. However, it can also occur on expensive cosmetic products, so you should purchase such gifts as carefully as possible and only with confidence that this particular gift will be terribly happy.
• Pets. The danger of a gift is in the allergy to wool of the addressee of the present, which you may not know about. It is also worth considering that the appearance of a pet may simply not be part of his plans (maybe a person has nothing to feed him, no time to take care of him, or his wife is against it in general). It is also not recommended to give exotic pets like giant snails, iguanas, snakes and other living creatures.

You can also add to the list of unsuccessful gifts:

• Bed sheets. Unless it's a super-set for a wedding or for your children.
• Underwear. The exception is from husband to wife and vice versa.
• Clothing. It can be given only to close people and knowing exactly the size. By the way, it is not recommended to give clothes to children - they prefer toys, games, sweets and modern technological innovations, rather than a set of uniforms for academic year or new shoes.
• Candies. Just a casual present, and nothing more. Exception: A LOT of sweets, candy bouquets and other sweet original designs. And then, provided that the recipient of the gift is not a diabetic and is not on a diet.
• Money. The most controversial gift option. It can be offensive if a person was waiting for attention to himself, but received an envelope with the words "buy it yourself, I have no time to look." It can be annoying if the amount in the envelope resembles change in a store. It can be awkward if the amount is too high and automatically obliges the recipient of the gift.

What to do with unwanted or unsuccessful gifts - practical advice

If a friend (close relative, loved one) still manages to get something original, useful and perfect for a birthday, then on the same New Year or “the holiday of spring and mothers” gifts from the shelves scatter like hot cakes. And a person returning from work gets only cheap candles or clumsy plaster figures. They most often occupy our shelves, cabinets and bedside tables. And it's a pity to throw it away, and I'm tired of sweeping the dust. Where to put them?

1. Put away in the closet until better times. Maybe in a couple of years the donated “unsuccessful” blouse will seem very fashionable to you or your daughter will come in handy. Or the “extra” iron will suddenly turn out to be necessary when your usual one breaks.
2. Regift. Of course not very beautiful option, but superfluous things only clutter up the house, and someone may really like this gift. The main thing is that this someone is not familiar with the donor. And that will be awkward.
3. "Reshape" for other purposes. For example, sew on various little things for the kitchen from an unnecessary dress.
4. Adapt unsightly oven pots for flower pots. To paint the presented faded vase specifically for your interior.
5. Take it back to the store. Unless, of course, there is a tag on the product, and, just in case, they left you a receipt.
6. Give gifts to good hands those who need them the most. Just. For example, in Orphanage or poor family.
7. Sell ​​or exchange. For example, through a forum, an auction or an appropriate site on the Internet.
8. Throw a party and use unwanted gifts as prizes. A great option to painlessly part with extra souvenirs.

Do not clutter your head with thoughts like "It's not good somehow." Surround yourself with only useful and pleasant things. The rest - find a use.

Moreover, it makes no sense to regret a stupid cheap souvenir that was presented to you not from great love, but “for show”, it makes no sense.

Greetings, dear readers! Have you ever been given bad gifts? Or maybe you yourself once upset your family and friends with bad gifts? In both cases, I advise you to read this article about bad gifts and what to do with them.

If such an attack has not happened to you yet, then you should always be ready for it. Is it a little?)

You've been given a terrible gift

Well, it's just disgusting. Let's say a screwdriver for March 8 or a cute pink teddy bear for February 23. How to be in such a situation? I know many people who, without hesitation, will immediately tell who you are and where you should go with such presents.

But most of us are much less direct and expressive personalities. Yes, maybe it's for the best? After all, too honest expression of your opinion on any occasion can also ruin the life of you and your loved ones. And the relationship ... They may even come to an end.

So the possible actions are:

1 Try to put on an expression of wild delight and make huge eyes from imaginary happiness.

The option is good only if you know how to lie at least a little bit or have natural acting skills (which sometimes coincides). For everyone else, it will work only if the delight is needed for a maximum of a couple of minutes - it simply won’t work to hold back longer.

2 Approve the gift and quickly move the conversation in another direction.

Very fast. So that, God forbid, they would not ask in detail what exactly they liked.

3 Say everything as it is in a polite manner, immediately bring the conversation into a positive direction.

Yes, it takes a little courage. But you will tell the truth! And it will sound completely different from what was described at the beginning of the article.

After that, you can immediately add: “I am so glad that you gave me this iron. I know how long it took you to choose it, your attention is very dear to me. You are my knight!" Same for men)

You (oh, horror!) gave an unfortunate surprise

Here everything is somewhat more complicated. Agree, it is much easier to pretend to be satisfied than to get out of the situation when it was you who made a gift that was obviously not suitable.

There are several ways:

1 Do your best not to notice the disorder of the donee and behave as if nothing had happened.

Not the best solution, to be honest. And at least to some extent it is acceptable only under the condition of a quick change of topic, distraction of the “victim”.

2 Describe the advantages of the gift and the virtues that made you choose it.

A risky way for real virtuosos and originals. After all, you will not only have to find the merits of the gift (even though fictional ones), but also present them in such a way that the donee really believes in your arguments.

3 Be observant and immediately apologize.

This a good idea. Especially if you apologize sincerely, from the heart.

Or maybe I'm too optimistic and there is no optimal way out of such a situation at all (without quarrels and swearing)? What do you think? Write about it in the comments and do not forget to ask your friends for their opinion on this matter by sharing a post with them in in social networks. See you soon!

Sincerely, Anastasia Skoreva

What a gift - such is the development of your life path. Be more attentive to gifts, some gifts can work as a lining, and others - as a projection of your future: both good and bad.

The development of a child is believed to depend on many factors. Gifts are items that a child needs to develop in his environment, and the degree of fulfillment of his desires is objective. Agree that the level of accuracy in the fulfillment of your desires from childhood has shaped your social preferences in the environment. Buying a computer, phone, gadgets from a modern child forms the rise of his status among peers and the level of knowledge of the subject.

How do objects affect the level of social status and personality development?

If we recall the last century, then good imported felt-tip pens, a doll, clothes (jeans, etc.) raised you to a great social height in the eyes of your peers. Bioenergetically, it looks like the accumulation of experience in a person through the development of one or another thing, acquired objectively. In this case, if you look at your childhood and the childhood of your children, you will see a colossal difference in both needs and development opportunities. Now the level of self-awareness in things, objects is completely versatile, and the energy-semantic load inherent in a gift can have various consequences. and psychics know: it happens that a negative information is placed as a gift, a certain program, which then acts for many years on the family in which such a gift is located. This is a gift-lining, with such a gift you need to act tough, first of all, it should be put in plastic bag and tie tightly, respectively negative energy gift-lining will hang in the package. It is better to throw it away later, but if the person who gave you this thing is part of your family, these are usually relatives, then you should not throw it away. You can simply put such a gift away, and if necessary, you can always present it to your giver, but then again this item should be put in the bag.

When should dangerous gifts be disposed of?

Sometimes the person who gave you a lining gift puts his unresolved problems there, that is, dumps his negativity on this gift, and this happens subconsciously, since not everyone consciously harms their friends. So, if you noticed that after such a gift-lining, you started having problems - the same as the donor, then immediately, without regret, get rid of the gift. There will be a break in the negative energy between you and the donor, and all the negative program that has not reached you will go back to the donor. There will be a blowback, and the giver may find himself in a situation doubly worse than he was in before the gift. Your task is not to react through your heart about his problem when this person appears with a story about his misadventures. That is, do not take someone else's negativity back. It also happens that they give a gift in which the logic of your life development is embedded. If you or your loved ones were given a gift with such a meaning, be careful about it. After all, sometimes a donated flask, beautiful glasses, decanters - can later become a cause of addiction to alcohol. Also pay attention to the toys that are given to children at school, be sure to look at what they give and in what capacity. So, as the logic of animals, dolls, cars and other things can also then work for the materialization of symbolism in the future: either good or bad. Pens, knives, pots, toys, books, all kinds of computer equipment, gadgets - these are all objects that affect human development. From a good donor, these items will elevate you in your status and business path. A bad donor can hinder your positive development. Include your feelings and intuition when receiving gifts. Distinguish bad energy from good energy.

How does the subtle energy of a gift affect a person and the development of events?

It is undesirable to give or accept expensive things as a gift if you do not correspond to such a gift in status. Since a gift is obviously not affordable for you, it will energetically oblige you to something, create dependence, and you will feel yourself indebted to the person who gave you. Accordingly, your energy will subconsciously go to the address of this donor when you take his gift for use. And it is not a fact that you will be able to create yourself, since dependence on the donor can hold back money from coming to you, just for the amount of the gift. If you are given a gift by a person who is unpleasant to you, but you cannot refuse, then try to take this gift without that inner attitude of denial towards the giver. Otherwise, you, having shown a negative attitude, will pave the path of evil energy from the donor to yourself. There were cases when a gift made at a wedding (bed linen, bedspread, dishes, etc.) then 10-15 years later corroded the family energetically. And as a result, there were discords, divorces, quarrels ... In such cases, it is necessary to contact a specialist in the field of esotericism. We need a mutual and a client, which will help change the situation in the family. Remember, information about you in the minds of your envious acquaintances, close girlfriends or friends can be an anchor in your development. Therefore, do not make purchases in front of friends whose level of consciousness does not pull this purchase. For someone, the car you bought may seem like an unaffordable luxury, and this purchase will turn on the negative energy of envy and destruction. Especially if before that you did not show your material wealth. Be sure to make gifts to yourself, this will stimulate you to develop, and you will feel comfortable. It is impossible to live, giving only to your loved ones, investing everything in them and forgetting about yourself. This will not be appreciated, your life will be spent in the bustle of other people's sensations from new things. Accordingly, illnesses, depressions, dissatisfaction in work and in personal life can begin. Therefore, you should not forget yourself, be sure to pamper yourself and loved ones with pleasant surprises and gifts with a positive logic of development.