Loneliness scares you because no one needs you. You come to an empty house where no one is waiting for you. You don't have anyone to take care of and love, and someone to take care of and love you. And besides, complete loneliness and the absence of a family are for me an indicator of a wasted life. If I stay alone, then in my old age I will ask myself: why the hell did I live in this world if I didn’t leave anything behind?

Because before, the role of deliverers of you from the feeling of uselessness was played by your parents.
Now, when the prospect of losing them loomed, you began to look for a replacement for them ....)))))

People do not create normal families to be needed))))

Because the thought "I will be of no use to anyone" automatically means "I am an empty place"

Well, why then create families? People marry and live together because they need each other and need each other. After that, they have children in order to again feel needed by these same children. It is not for nothing that so often many repeat and complain about old age, "These are ungrateful children, there is no one to even give water to in old age."

I have a complete family, my parents have lived together all their lives
Now my appearance suits me completely. As already written, in adolescence there were complexes regarding external shortcomings, but all this is in the past.
Unfortunately, there are no men in my environment. Always worked only in the women's team, where the only man was the boss. During my studies, I was also surrounded by girls, since my specialty is the humanities. Now I work for myself, so I don’t deal with men at work.
Regarding male society, I have a few male friends. I feel comfortable with them, although there were incidents when our friendship, under the influence of alcohol, almost grew into something more.

Hmm ..... do you think the main thing is to get to know each other?
And it seemed to me that the main thing is to build relationships just after meeting, and for this you need common hobbies and interests.
What hobbies are you willing to share with a man? What is interesting about you?

And, I understand correctly, your usual scheme of events
The man shows interest
You answer and make an appointment
On a date, you ask him questions
Everything ends...

Yes, of course, that building relationships is the main thing. But how to build out if the acquaintance does not continue?
As for interests, it is mainly sports: I go skiing, snowboarding, running and cycling. I met those who were also interested in it. Of the universal interests - travel, theater, going to concerts.

Regarding the date, why am I asking questions right away? We meet, ask each other interesting questions, tell about ourselves. Although I am not very talkative - I am one of those people who likes to listen more than talk

Well, for example, from the last one:
We met, exchanged pleasantries like "nice to meet you, you look good." He offered to go somewhere to sit. Since he is not local, the choice of a cafe was up to me. On the way to the cafe we ​​talked. At first I asked him what he does, where exactly from the USA he comes from. After that, he also asked me about life, about work, about hobbies. In the cafe, the conversation continued on similar topics about interests, hobbies, life. I also asked him why he registered on the site, who exactly he was looking for and why. After an hour and a half, I interrupted the date, because I had an appointment with a friend in the evening, and I saw him off to his hotel, where he stayed, since he is a foreigner and does not know the city. In parting, I told him that I was very pleased to meet you and I would be glad to meet again. He said much the same thing and asked me to let him know when I would have time in the following days to meet with him. We hugged goodbye, he kissed me on the cheek - that's all.

I am interested in his life, I smile, I listen attentively, I try not to lose visual contact with the person, to look into his eyes.

I already wrote about hobbies a little higher: sports, travel, theater, music and concerts.
I studied abroad for a master's degree for two years, now I have returned to my homeland, this moment I work remotely as a translator for a foreign company. Previously, even before leaving and studying abroad, she worked as a project manager in charitable and international organizations.