Valeria Protasova

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Someone will say - "to love two at once - this is promiscuity." And someone will say - "Great! Double portion of attention! And someone will even say that this is not love at all, since you are drawn to two sides at once. And only one in a thousand will understand how hard it is when the heart is torn from love at once for both men.

What to do? How to choose one of the only two of them?

Testing Yourself - 8 Methods for Choosing Between Two Guys or Men

If the heart does not want to be determined at all, and the spiritual weather vane is spinning like crazy, it makes sense to test yourself and make the task of such a serious choice easier.

We appreciate the positive qualities of each ...

• Does he have a sense of humor? Can he cheer you up, and does he understand your jokes? A person with a sense of humor looks at the world in a completely different way and charges everyone around with his optimism.
• What do you feel when he touches you? And is he able to restrain himself in the manifestation of feelings?
• What are his interests in life? Is he a purposeful person with his own outlook on life or a bore who values ​​his own comfort more than anything in life?
• How does he act when someone needs help? ? Is he in a hurry to help without hesitation, or is he pretending that this does not concern him?
• What exactly attracts him to you (besides your appearance)?
• How much time does he spend with you? Relishes every minute, stretches out the pleasure, hurries to you right away, as soon as you have a free “minute”? Or is he in a hurry on a date, constantly looking at his watch, leaving immediately "after ..."?
• How often does he call you? Right before you arrive with a brutal “Baby, I’m coming over today”? Or just barely having time to go beyond the threshold, with a sigh - “baby, I already miss you” and almost every hour, just to find out how you are?
• Does he flirt with other girls in your presence?
• How does he treat children?

Assessing our own feelings...

• How do you feel when she calls or sends a message?
• Do you feel “at your place” and “at ease” next to him?
• Does it make your heart beat faster with just the touch of your hand?
• Can you imagine being with him in your old age?
• Does he accept you for who you are?
• Do you feel next to him that “wings open” and “you want to live to the fullest”?
• Or are you next to him, like a shadow or a bird in a beautiful cage?
• Do you feel like you are getting better around him?
• Does it support your desires and aspirations in development?
• Do you feel special, most loved and desired next to him?
• Without which of them do you suffocate, as if you cut off the oxygen?

We evaluate the negative sides of both ...

• Does he have bad habits that annoy you?
• How jealous is he? It’s bad if he’s not completely jealous - either he’s disingenuous, or he just doesn’t care. It is also bad if jealousy goes off scale, and every passer-by who briefly smiles at you runs the risk of getting in the nose. The golden mean here is just that.
• Does he care what you wear and how you look? Of course, every man wants his woman to be the most stunning and beautiful, but a mature man usually hides the long legs of his half from other people's eyes and disapproves of short skirts, too bright makeup and other charms.
• How heavy is the burden of the past behind him? And if "very heavy" - will it interfere with your relationship?
• Does he try to control you? Or is he always looking for a compromise if a controversial issue arises?
• Is he able to admit that he is wrong?
• How often does he have outbursts of unreasonable aggression?
• Is he able to take the first step towards reconciliation if you had a fight?
• Did you notice lies behind him? How candid is he with you? How high is the level of trust between you?
• Has he told you about his past love? And in what tone? If he remembers the former too often, most likely, his feelings for her have not yet cooled down. If he remembers with "bad words" - it is worth considering. A real man will never say bad things about a former passion, even if she gave him "hell on earth."
• If you get sick, does he run for medicine and sit by your bed? Or waits until you get better, occasionally sending SMS “Well, how are you doing”?

Appreciate the feelings of both ...

• How deep are his feelings for you? Is he ready to connect his life with you forever or is your relationship superficial and based only on physical attraction?
• What is he willing to sacrifice for you? Will he be able to rush after you if you suddenly decide to study / work in another city?
• What might be his reaction if you decide to break up with him? “Come on, goodbye” or “What happened?”? Will he immediately disappear from your life or will he fight for you? Of course, you don’t need to ask - just try to imagine such a situation and its consequences.

Help the hall or call a friend

If you have a trusting relationship with parents share your problem with them. They will surely tell you how best to proceed, and express their opinion “from the height of the past years” about both candidates for your heart.

can talk and with friends but only if you trust them 100 percent.

And the decision, of course, is still up to you.

Making a list...

• How are they similar to each other?
• What are their differences?
• What exactly do you feel for each (describe each feeling)?
• What qualities do you like in them?
• What qualities do you absolutely dislike?
• Which one do you have more in common with?
• Which one of them would you most like to wait for after work with a delicious dinner?
• Which of them would you like to introduce to your parents and relatives? And how can parents perceive each?

Throwing a coin...

Let one be tails and the other heads. After tossing a coin, follow your thoughts - who exactly do you want to see on your palm?

Let's not rush...

Don't try to find a solution immediately. Give yourself (and them) some time. Take a break from both for at least a week - which one will you miss more? Just don't drag out this selection process for too long.

And if your relationship has not yet crossed that very border of intimacy, do not cross it. Make a choice before you realize that one of them has been cheated on.

The choice between the two guys is made - what's next?

1. If the decision is really made, it's time to part with one of them. No need to leave it "in reserve" - ​​tear immediately. After all, if she both wants to live with you until old age, then torturing both of you is simply unforgivable. Let go of the one you care less about.
2. You do not need to tell him when parting that you have a “different”. Do it as gently as possible. It is unlikely that he will be delighted with your confessions, but it is in your power to soften the blow. Try to make friends.
3. The feeling of emptiness from the loss of that second one is normal. It will pass. Relax and don't beat yourself up.
4. Thoughts like “what if I made a mistake?” also to the side. Build your relationships and enjoy life. Never regret anything. Life itself will put everything in its place.
5. Accept that some of you three will get hurt. It won't work otherwise.
6. If your conscience is tearing you apart from the inside, and the solution just doesn’t come, and they, among other things, are also best friends, then break up with both. This way you will provide yourself with a very solid "time out" to sort out feelings, and will not become a wedge in their friendship.

In general, listen to your heart! It doesn't lie.

Have you ever had to make such a difficult decision, and what can you advise girls who are faced with a choice?

It's never easy to choose, especially when it comes to love. It would seem that when you yourself have to decide everything, it should be as easy as shelling pears. But in practice it turns out differently. When your heart is racing between two guys, it's hard to decide. After all, each of them is good in its own way.

The main mistake that many girls make in such situations is checking the boys. Never use this method! It's not some kind of competition. In addition, it will not be entirely fair to the "participants" themselves. Surely, during the tests, no one will know about the presence of an opponent. Sooner or later, everything will come out. And will you be pleased to confess to them that you played like that?

Even if the guys deliberately cock in front of each other and win your sympathy, this will not help you much. This demo will only work for a while. When one of the applicants goes into the shadows, you will immediately lose most of the attention. After all, there is no longer anyone to demonstrate their advantage - the victory is won.

It's best to decide on your own. Especially since you already have everything you need. You are well acquainted with each of the boys, you know both their shortcomings and virtues. This is quite enough. Why create conflict? The way a guy treats you is the best argument in his favor.

In fact, it is very easy to decide, if you do not confuse love with affection or ordinary sympathy. This is exactly what most girls face, and get confused in their feelings. One wisdom says: “If you love, you don’t think about it.” And there is some truth in this. There is no need to compare two guys to each other. Take each one separately. His caring, compassion and understanding. After all, it was on this basis that you began to get to know him better.

It is not worth rushing with a choice. But it is also not necessary to pull the rubber, putting yourself, two boys, in an unpleasant position for a long time either. Think, if you are hesitant to make a decision, maybe it’s too early for you to start a serious relationship with someone and be alone for a while? If you choose this option, then we advise you to read the article on the World of the Girl website - "

To the situation in which a guy may find himself because he likes two girls, leads and, which we talked about earlier. However, for young people of adolescence, this is not uncommon. What should they do with it? Especially when some shout: "Decide yourself!" - and others - "Meet both!" In fact, if you want to get advice, you will only hear what each person considers true for himself. This does not mean that his method and solution to the problem will suit you specifically.

There are no universal recipes here, no one will point a finger at one of them and say: “This one, because ...” (and then a phrase should follow that will suit everyone: you, girls and the whole Universe). Even friends won't try too hard to help sort it out. Why? Because in fact there are questions that only one person can answer a guy - himself.

Each decision has its own consequences, but no one wants to be responsible for the most unfortunate of them, for the fact that you may regret the choice. Yes, and it is wrong - to charge someone with responsibility for their own lives. Consider yourself a man - be able to make independent decisions. How to do it? Accept one of them, any outcome of which will not make you regret your choice. Never. Whatever it is. Or, as one of my friends says: “Try to act in such a way that your mother is not ashamed, bad and hurt because of you” - for him this is a guideline in the most difficult situations of choice, he says that he never fails, despite the fact that mom doesn't know anything about them.

Some decisions are difficult to make, especially if you like two girls, and you don’t want to offend or humiliate either of them, and you don’t have the strength to refuse to meet with any. How are the poets?

"The soul must work day and night, day and night."

It is difficult, because the soul is lazy, tries to work for the sake of egoism, turns around, looks for simple solutions and easy ways. Discipline the mind, it will streamline emotions and recognize real feelings, if any.

I like two girls, but is it love?

Do you still think you have strong feelings for both girls? Are you sure it's mutual? Here are indicated, navigate by them. If yes, then let's take a look. The fact is that there is love and falling in love, the latter can be very strong, and therefore very similar to the former. The difference is that falling in love passes, but love does not, never. How do you figure out what you feel for each girl?

Give yourself time, but not to "think", but to sort out the feelings. It will not take more than two weeks, during which time any love usually passes. What you do: live, mind your own business, sports, meet friends and try not to think specifically about these girls. Assign yourself a penalty (push up 10 times) if you still thought. And so, if, despite your own strict prohibitions and fines, during these 2 weeks you still continue to think about one of them, then this is definitely She.

I like two girls, how to choose?

Mind games can be bizarre, especially when you like two girls, because you can, in the goodness of your heart, “help yourself” make a choice, so there is another way: imagine, just very clearly, that tomorrow your girls will fly away to different planets forever, you will never see each other again, because it will be several light years to fly, the ships will not catch up, and it will be impossible to find them there. Do not help yourself, take it for granted, as a condition of the task that cannot be changed.

You are standing at the spaceport, watching them go to opposite exits. You will never see one of them. Actually, never. You have to make a choice... Right now... they're coming... a few more seconds... You won't see any of them if you don't dare... never... Which one would you like to stop?

The first thing that comes to your mind is the answer to your question. Only if it's not "both!" This can also be. Then another option: just sit down and think (you can write on a piece of paper) why you like one girl, and why another. In the end, excluding any erotic overtones, you willy-nilly draw 2 portraits: one of them will be more like your future wife, and the second ... get ready, understanding, sincere friend. I will not tell you exactly what you write, so as not to help you. But this outcome is very common. Which girl you should choose, I think no need to explain.

And even after all this you don't know what to do if you like two girls? You definitely like the third, leave these two alone, and look for your only one.

Most often, the answer to the dilemma of what to do when you like 2 guys sounds like this: "I like several people at once - I don't like anyone." This is not correct. This happens only when passion flared up. In a normal state, people tend to compare.

There was a strange opinion that women consistently turn to psychologists with the question of where to meet a man, to interest him, and in the future to start a family? But no less often, women, especially young ones, are interested in the question of what to do if they like two guys at once? How to make the right choice?

It must be said right away that it all depends on the situation in which the dilemma arose.

For example, a woman was not interested at first in creating a family, so two partners gave her the comfort she aspired to. One provided materially, the other satisfied the need for communication or sex, or helped to feel needed. And then the woman realized that she wanted a strong relationship, and then she began to choose.

Or a woman was dating one person, and for some reason, feelings began to cool down. Dispersed, she was already interested in another, and the first appeared again.

The most difficult situation is if there was already a family with the first, maybe even children. The usual answer about the prompting heart does not fit. What to do?

A woman should analyze the situation, why did it happen? What does she lack in each of the guys? You should not relieve yourself of responsibility by convincing others that they themselves are moving closer. If a woman did not want to, she would not keep two men near her. It is required to try to understand what men with what qualities she wants to have next to her, which of her guys have more of these qualities at the same time?

What to do. if you like two guys, and the relationship with both has already gone far? In no case do not blame yourself for promiscuity, but try to think about why this happened? Do you want reliability, and in return for it, men demand such a return? Do you need such men around?

Maybe even better to write down what kind of relationship you want to build? Why did you break up with your previous partner, and why are you now drawn to him?

Sometimes this is not a re-emerging feeling, but a fear of creating new relationships, an inability to give up the habit of being close to someone you know well.

Thinking about what to do if you like 2 guys, you need to try to understand, why is the old partner better than the new one? It is unlikely that he has changed during the time they were apart. Of course, he can promise anything, but adults do not change. The stress of a breakup was already there. Why go back to a relationship that once ended badly?

There are times when men, knowing that there are two of them, are included in the competition. And whoever a woman chooses, she will lose.

The longer a woman thinks about which of the guys to stop, the more she exhausts herself. Therefore, a decision needs to be made quickly. Guarantees that you will be happy with this person, but not with this one, no one will give.

Sometimes you should remember the folk wisdom that advises, if you have an incomprehensible relationship with two guys, wait. until you meet the third. When you fall in love for real, other men cease to exist.

When deciding what to do if you like two guys, you should proceed from your feelings and needs, without thinking about what opinion you can produce with your act on others. After all, with the person on whom the choice fell, you have to live. And it's unlikely to be replayable.

What if you like two guys? Sometimes in such a situation it is worth just stepping aside and waiting a bit, without trying to do anything yourself. Time in most cases puts everything in its place. And to understand what people really need, you can only get to know them well.