Pavel Gumerov (1974, Ufa) is a priest.

In 1984 he received Holy Baptism along with his parents, brother and sister. The whole family of Father Pavel lived then already in Moscow. (Father Pavel's father was subsequently ordained a priest, and in 2005 he took monastic tonsure with the name Job. Now he is a resident of the Sretensky Monastery in Moscow).

In 1991 he entered the Moscow Theological Seminary in the city of Sergiev Posad, from which he graduated in 1995. In the same year he entered the Moscow Theological Academy. In 1996, while studying at the Academy, he took the holy orders. In the same year, by decree of His Holiness Patriarch Alexy, he was appointed a full-time cleric in the church of St. Nicholas of Myra at the Rogozhsky cemetery in Moscow. On December 14, 2012, he was appointed rector of the church of the Holy Right-Believing Princes Peter and Fevronia of Murom in Maryino, which is under construction. Since March 29, 2014, he has been constantly serving in this church.

Priest Pavel Gumerov writes books and articles, records CDs, gives lectures, conducts seminars and talks on the topics of family and marriage, moral theology. Also, with the blessing of the hierarchy, he sings in the choir of the clergy of the Moscow Peter and Paul Deanery. Married, has two sons.

Father Pavel is the author of the following books: “Small Church”, “He and She”, “Family Conflicts. Prevention and Treatment”, “Eternal Memory” (co-authored with Hieromonk Job), “House of a Christian. Traditions and Shrines” (co-authored with Hieromonk Job), “Orthodox Asceticism Expounded for the Laity”, “The Sacrament of Communion”, “Three Whales of Family Happiness”, “Keys to Family Happiness”, “Civil Marriage”. The beginning of family life or prodigal cohabitation?", "Vladimir Vysotsky: the tragedy of the Russian soul", "The Law of God. A new book(co-authored with hieromonk Job (Gumerov) and priest Alexander Gumerov).

The book "Three whales of family happiness" was recognized by the Publishing Council of the Moscow Patriarchate as the best book for young people in 2012 and was awarded a diploma of the 1st degree.

Several books by Father Pavel have been translated into Serbian and Romanian.

Books (7)

Conversations about family and marriage

The family life of an Orthodox Christian should be based on three components.

First and most important: love and the correct understanding of this concept, because not everyone knows what true love is.

The second is a correct understanding of the goals and objectives of family life.

And the third is the correct family hierarchy. On these three, so to speak, "whales" is built family life.

Everlasting memory

The departure of a person from life is always a difficult test for loved ones. How to deal with the pain of loss? How to prepare the deceased for burial? How to carry out the last journey? How to remember later?

In the book, one of the authors of which (priest Pavel Gumerov) serves in the church of St. Nicholas at the Rogozhsky cemetery, you will find detailed instructions on all the details of an Orthodox burial, as well as pastoral advice and words of support. Attached are letters of consolation from St. Theophanes about the hour of death and the prayers that it is customary to read in the Orthodox Church, seeing off the neighbor on the path of all the earth.

Small Church. Family life in the modern world

The book is dedicated to the modern family.

Its author leads conversations with young people about how to build modern family so that she is morally healthy, long-lived and happy. The author specifically refers to modern life and talks in detail about how to protect the family from the dangers that have such a destructive effect on the family.

The last two parts of the book are devoted to one of the most painful topics in our society - the upbringing of children.

He and she. Looking for conjugal consent

Why did God create male and female? What does a woman expect from a man and a man from a woman? How can they come to understanding and love? How to achieve peace and harmony in marriage, which is called the Church of the Secret of God, the Sacrament of the union of “two beings into one inseparable being,” according to St. John Chrysostom.

The reader learns about all this from the book “He and She. In search of marital consent.

Orthodox asceticism expounded for the laity. On the fight against passions

The book of Father Pavel Gumerov is intended to help the Orthodox Christian in his struggle with passions and sinful habits.

We are all very different. Each has its own heredity, character, upbringing, education. Therefore, it is sometimes difficult for us to find mutual language, reach an agreement. But people are still divided into men and women. The difference between them is huge. Sometimes it seems that these are creatures from different worlds. But we live on the same planet, and the continuation of life on Earth depends on the interaction of male and female. So we just need to learn to understand each other. Why did the Lord create men and women? What does a woman expect from a man and a man from a woman? How can we come to mutual understanding and love? The author tries to answer these and other questions.

Why is family happiness? Because it helps us constantly, daily feel that there is someone we love more than ourselves. It is known, for example, that parents, as a rule, love their children more than the children of their parents. But that doesn't make parents any less happy. Children are able to give them much more joy, Have a good mood than we im.

And happiness also depends on how we value what God gives us. In our case, it is love, family. Maybe my words are somewhat pretentious, but I will say that the balance of the forces of good and evil in the world depends on whether there is peace in each particular family or whether sin and evil reign there.

“There can be no equality between a man and a woman, of course. They are completely different. Everyone has their own great calling and purpose. He and she are polar opposites. Plus cannot be equal to minus, but precisely because of this, attraction occurs. ”

• Foreword
• Part I. Male and female
  • The Bitter Fruits of Emancipation
  • Generals in skirts
  • Just generals
  • Daughters-mothers
  • We choose, we are chosen
  • Female and male logic
  • White handkerchiefs
  • Women's happiness - would be cute next ...
  • What does a man want?
  • Fathers and mothers
  • I do not like...
  • Humiliated and insulted
• Part II. Preparing for marriage
  • How not to make a mistake?
  • Apologia for marriage
  • What is love?
  • Love
  • About love
  • Choice
  • How to get to know each other better?
  • About mistakes
  • I can't bear to get married
• Part III. Husband and wife "You put crowns on their heads"
  • Head of family
  • Family life
  • Getting ready for marriage
  • Debriefing
  • You should not bend under the changing world, or On the benefits of marital abstinence by fasting
  • Rules traffic
  • Common interests
  • Weaker vessel
  • Take care of the men!
  • Heavenly patrons of marriage
  • About happiness
• Part IV. family storms
  • Introduction
  • An ideal image or a living person?
  • More about conflict
  • affairs of life
  • About disputes
  • Crises
  • "Ore et labore"
  • seventh commandment
  • Passion means suffering
  • Believers and non-believers
  • Mother-in-law and mother-in-law
  • Monastery in the world
• Conclusion
• List of cited literature

What are the main causes of divorce today?

- The reason is the impatience of modern man. We know that family life is patience. The main reason for divorce is also a lack of communication, attention to each other.

Usually a divorce is not done so spontaneously: it hits the head, and they went to get a divorce. People do not understand that marriage is a great value, they do not see this in their union, in their relationships. They think: if you have a car, you can change it, if you have a wife, you can change it. And the second is the lack of patience.

Before the revolution it was a service. It was a very serious project: when people served each other, when people had to survive. People had to secure their lives in our harsh, very difficult climate, which depended on the harvest, crop failure, on whether the Lord would send a drought or a fertile year. secure yourself Pension Fund as children. Because if you don’t educate them, don’t teach them how to work, honor their father and mother, then no state will feed you later. The husband had to take care of his wife. There is an expression - "Love your wife like a horse." If a person was horseless, he was considered the poorest and poorest peasant. And again, the words of the Apostle Paul: Husbands, take care of your wives as your own body.

– You say: marriage is always a risk. How to minimize it?

Indeed, there is always risk. Marriage also comes with risks. Even under ideal starting conditions, when both the family and parents are very good, Orthodox, church people guarded virginity, purity before marriage, they want to live according to the commandments of God, they have parental experience - they also have a risk.

Do you think that a family is when two people rent an apartment, live together, share a bed, they have a common cash desk? Nothing like this. And the state calls it cohabitation, the Church does not consider it a family, but women do! They even buy rings for themselves. Although in fact most men do not consider them wives. That's why we have more married people than married people. 80% of women believe that they are married, 90% of men believe that they are not married. That is, in fact, these are family games.

The first thing I want to advise. Marriage is a very serious relationship, and it should be considered as follows: no matter what my mood, state of health, whether love has left or not left, everything must be done to preserve and save the family.

The second thing I want to say is that we need to turn to our values, which are set forth in the Bible and the Gospel. We have such a clear hierarchy: my closest relative comes first, then my parents. First you have to solve problems with your wife, console and calm her, then take care of your parents.

The third thing that can be advised is that the family hierarchy, which is also forgotten, especially in countries where feminism is developed, spouses are considered as equal partners. A very big problem is male infantilism, lack of masculine. Women are to blame for this, wives - with their behavior, before wives, mothers spoiled a person, they did everything for him, they did not allow him to make any decision. Men cease to be men if they are not treated as men.

Dad as the shadow of Hamlet's father

- Today you mentioned one of the reasons for the destruction of the family: violence. What happens to a child who constantly sees scandals in the family?

– Of course, it is very influential. The fact is that we do not even realize how much childhood psychotrauma can affect us later. Children should grow up in an atmosphere of love, they should be protected in every possible way, even from unkind words, reproaches, and barbs towards each other. It is clear that a man will treat his wife in the same way as dad treated mom. The example of a father is very strong and very serious, this is the most important person in your life, he will unconsciously influence you all your life, like the shadow of Hamlet's father, he will follow you all the time.

- Does it happen that in a created family one of the spouses is a more mature person?

– It often happens. Of course, a more favorable option when the wife is immature. Still, it happens that the wife suffers from infantilism, she was the only child in the family, and the husband from large family. This is normal, the husband takes her under guardianship, is engaged in her upbringing, becoming a person. They learn a lot in the process.

When the wife is more mature, and the husband is from an incomplete family, was brought up by a single mother, did not receive proper education, an example can also be seriously affected. What can a wife do? The task of the wife is to encourage her husband, to praise him. When he begins to take the first timid steps, to help him: you will succeed, you can do everything.

When a wife lives only her husband's life

When a person gets married, he often loses his individuality. How to keep yourself, your abilities and talents in the family?

– What is it about? That they dissolve into each other. A strong husband, successful - and the wife begins to live his life. Or, for example, he is a writer or an artist, and she devotes her whole life only to him.

There are several options. If people were very sociable before, and now they communicate with each other and they don’t really need anyone outside their little world - he, she and children - there is nothing wrong with that. This often happens.

Another thing is when a person really starts to lose himself. For example, a husband is a man of art who still suffers from high self-esteem, considers himself great. He believes that the wife should leave everything. For example, I had examples that he is a poet, a bard, a musician, and his wife has an acting education, and he apparently wanted her to completely dissolve in him. And she also had her own creative ambitions, she really didn’t like it, and because of this, they had serious conflicts. I think that if two people are such bright personalities, everyone should be given the opportunity to develop.

No need to be afraid of a psychologist

- In a family that is on the verge of divorce, how should parents behave?

- If such a situation happened in the family, parents should not take sides. They should pray for the family if they can't help. Try to support both spouses, try to inspire them: we love you both, you are both dear to us, we are very worried about you, we are ready to help you, to assist if you want. And it’s very good when they tell their spouses something good about each other. Not the way it happens: a mother tells her son what a bad wife he has, they saw her there, she doesn’t help, doesn’t care. It is clear that this is not love, it is selfishness, jealousy, maternal pride.

– How often do you have to refer couples to a psychologist?

- I often send to psychologists. The priest has the ability to pray purely for a person, he has other means to solve family problems. The priest also has very serious disadvantages - for example, a chronic lack of time. Any serious conflict requires not a one-time visit, but rather serious work, a conversation for about an hour or an hour and a half, and a rare priest has such an amount of time. Therefore, the priest sometimes plays the role of such a local therapist. Every priest, I think, should refer to a psychologist, he should not be afraid of this. It is very good when he has familiar specialists in whom he is confident. Because psychologists are different.

– As a confessor at the School of the Family, what tasks do you solve, what families can come to you?

- The center's website has all the coordinates. It is located very conveniently, on Okhotny Ryad. The helpline is free of charge, it can be used to get initial advice and assistance. We have had many joint projects. The most important thing is the family school. Once a year, we give a course of lectures, distribute books, manuals, CDs, write it all down, then post it on the Internet. There is an opportunity to work with people individually, to help in solving some issues.

Psychologists from this center work at our church of Peter and Fevronia in Maryino. We give lectures on an important topic: such a "young fighter course" for those who want to start a family. Some create a family after that, resolve family problems.