Divorce is a tragedy family life breaking the bonds of marriage. Why does it happen? Can it be avoided? How, and most importantly, is it necessary? How to survive a divorce?

The reasons, motives, forms, stereotypes and consequences of it will be discussed in this article.

Meaning

Divorce - termination And, no matter how sorry it is to admit, in modern times this phenomenon is not uncommon. Because of this, adherents of a conservative approach to life argue that the institution of the family is losing its value. But is it necessary to stay officially together when there is no longer a spiritual connection? Divorce is always more complicated and multifaceted than the usual parting, since spouses are connected by a common life lived, marriage registration, sometimes - money, housing, children.

The only way out

It happens that, having quarreled, the spouses begin to think about divorce. It seems to them that this is the only way out, while this is a completely wrong conclusion. Also, it's not a solution to the problem. If the divorce of the spouses has no other reason than the inability to build relationships, then for each of them the situation will repeat with the next partner, the next one, and so on ad infinitum. Of course, everyone would like to be accepted as he is, cherished and cherished, appreciated and understood. But relationships are always a search for compromise and common solutions. This is most evident in marriage.

Society attitude

In the Soviet Union, the institution of marriage and family had value. The slogan "cell of society" clearly represented public opinion about divorces. They were not only not encouraged, but categorically condemned by society. For several decades, the situation has changed radically - even in connection with the increase in cases of divergence of spouses, it has become simpler. Previously required condition the consent of both parties is now not so important, the initiative of at least one is enough.

Everything was different before marriage.

Newlyweds are often disappointed with the realities; it suddenly turns out that in dreams everything was different and expectations are completely and completely unjustified. That's why many couples divorce after five, three or even one year of marriage, unable to wait until they "get used" to each other. Characters in everyday life are more rigid and sharper, shortcomings are seen more clearly. Divorce seems to be the solution. The reasons and consequences for such couples are always the same: they hurried, and then they had to take it off and next time be more careful.

Aggravation of contradictions

And it happens the other way around - many years have been lived together, a lot of things have been acquired together, the children have grown up and began to build their lives, and the spouses, looking at each other, do not feel the former warmth and love. Feelings that were once disappeared without a trace. The contradictions between a married couple are aggravated, and the question arises: to save what little is left, or Causes, categories, consequences are not of interest to them, they are simply tired of each other. And they crash into each other. Family? There are rings on the fingers, but the family is long gone.

last resort

Divorce is the end of everything. Therefore, it is called a last resort, when it is already impossible to save the marriage. That is why getting divorced in the heat of the moment, without discussing and thinking properly, is not the best way. But it often happens just the same way: a couple stops all kinds of relationships, officially declaring that they are nobody to each other, but they themselves don’t know the reasons for this.

Reason for divorce

It is very important to understand why the final solution was divorce. The reasons for divorce and the conditions for the stability of marriage are interrelated things. They represent the base. Once upon a time, each partner in a married couple chose their own "half". There were reasons for this. So, they must be in order to push her away from him forever.

Wrong person

It is a mistake to assume that "the wrong person" was once chosen and now it is necessary to correct what has been done by divorcing him. After all, the choice was made for a reason. Strong feelings or pragmatic calculation - there are even more options than two, but if divorce is an attempt to escape from responsibility for your decision, then it will not bring the expected result.

The material side of the issue

Behind the formal phrase about "irreconcilable differences" as a reason for divorce, there is usually something even more significant, because of what these differences appeared at all and why they began to develop. According to statistics, twenty percent of divorce cases are due to poverty. Tension due to the inability of both spouses to get out of debt is growing, and there is no room for any feelings other than aggression. If there are children in the family, things only get worse.

Shared living space

When a couple does not have a separate home and she is forced to live under the roof of her parents, this can also cause an early divorce. This situation has its own reasons, motives, stages and consequences. It takes no more than two years to develop a conflict with older relatives, in fact, another family with its own established rules that the daughter-in-law or son-in-law does not want to put up with. And if the newlyweds do not have their own housing, soon the small unit of society will fall apart without celebrating its fifth anniversary.

This is because the older generation seeks to control the life of the younger, while the young try to build it themselves. One of the partners is torn between which side to be on: parents or wife (husband).

Warning signs

The psychological causes of divorce are symptoms under the general name of "feelings have changed." Habits that were previously touching begin to annoy, and each of the shortcomings suggests that the spouses are not a couple at all, but a complete fiction. This may be the loss of love feelings, jealousy and impatience, sexual incompatibility, or different outlooks on life that do not allow any further joint plans to be made. It should be understood that marriage is a fusion of two personalities, which must harmoniously and self-develop and progress together.

Sociological point of view

Sociology considers divorce, causes and consequences from the point of view of the public, without going into personal relationships, which are purely individual. Its task is to reveal the meaning for society.

Divorce as a social phenomenon has a double meaning. On the one hand, it is difficult to argue with the fact that divorce is a negative phenomenon. After all, it represents the destruction of the institution of the family. On the other hand, society is interested in the fact that the "cells" of society are healthy and prosperous, provide spiritual development all family members, and this directly concerns the upbringing of children - the future generation. From which we can conclude that divorce, being a compromise between two spouses who are no longer able to marry each other, has positive features for society and, to some extent, for themselves.

Social roles as a factor influencing divorce

The causes and consequences of divorce can be purely individual. But among them there is a category called behavioral causes. They include unacceptable qualities of one of the spouses. From a sociological point of view, this is the inability to try on the role of wife or husband.

When a person gets married, he must be psychologically prepared for it. In sociology there is such a concept - "social role": it means the expected behavior of a person, corresponding to his status. After the wedding, the girl takes on the role of wife, and the guy takes on the role of husband, which means if one of them is not able to cope with his task, the marriage collapses.

Examples of such reasons:

• solving problems by scandals, not by constructive dialogue;
• inability to allocate the family budget;
• separation without any grounds;
• treason;
• alcohol or drug addiction of one of the spouses;
• illegal actions.

How to survive a divorce?

Sometimes there is no divorce. And to the question of whether this is the only way out, the answer is only in the affirmative. But even if the divorce was a mutual decision and the couple did without quarrels, scandals and smashing plates, parting with a former partner, saying goodbye to a part of yourself, your world, the past way of life is hard. Divorce (reasons, categories, consequences) - is it so important when it has already happened? But it is true what they say: forewarned is forearmed. The consequences of divorce have their own stages.

The phases of the divorce experience

Psychologists distinguish four phases of the divorce experience. The time frame for them is very arbitrary, for someone one phase can be delayed, mixed with another, and so on. But depending on what stage a person is at, the advice may be somewhat different.

shock phase

"It's hard to believe" is the expression that describes this phase. As always happens after major changes, a person cannot immediately get used to what happened. Waking up in the morning, you have to remind yourself what happened, somehow cope with it. The shock can last for a few minutes, or it can take up to a couple of months. But the usual time frame is ten to twelve days. Psychologists advise not to withdraw into oneself, not to hide feelings, to talk with relatives and friends, not to refuse their support.

depressive phase

At this stage, conscious suffering begins, lasting about nine weeks. When you still manage to believe in divorce, your current loneliness, fear of the future, helplessness falls on a person. It feels like the ground has been lifted from under your feet. Support was - and now it is not. The meaning that was taken away cannot be returned, instead of it - a tangle of contradictions in the head and in the heart.

It becomes easier if you look at it from the outside. This means that you need to talk more, discuss the situation with someone, try to put everything on the shelves at least a little so that emotions do not knock you down, and resentment and guilt do not mix with bewilderment and anger.

If you go into depression and withdraw into yourself, this will lead to self-destruction, but on the contrary, it is necessary to find the strength in yourself to live on, make plans, and have a new meaning.

You can't just focus on your feelings. If there are children in the family, it is also not easy for them, and the task of parents, albeit divorced, is to calm them down, to help them adapt to the world that has become unusual.

Residual phase

This stage can last for about a year after the divorce. The stage manifests itself not in prolonged suffering, but short emotional upheavals from shared photos, chance meetings and dates that the spouses could celebrate together, and now they should not mean anything.

Common friends and traditions that only a married couple knew make the heart ache as if a blunt needle is stuck in it. A person does not constantly think about his divorce, but he also cannot completely forget it, especially when he is not at all ready to face the changes face to face, and they overtake him so suddenly.

Completion phase

The final, final phase comes somewhere in a year. Grief loses its power, sadness takes its place.

Time heals - and it's true. For a year, you have to come to terms with the fact that life goes on, and it is necessary to live somehow. Make new acquaintances and meet friends, develop and progress, raise children and steadfastly accept the sorrows of fate. Both them and joy sometimes have to be met alone - and a person understands this, gets used to it, learns.

Self-respect is restored. After a couple of years, there is a need for a new relationship with another person, a willingness to meet love.

A fulfilling life begins when pain gives way to hope, the past does not pull with it, it remains where it should be - far behind, while ahead, on the contrary, are waiting for fulfillment and the fulfillment of goals and desires. If a person is ready to see this shining light, he is ready to live on.

If a divorce for you is a severe psychological trauma that you just need to survive, then you are here. But if your task is to get out of this mess without being left without housing, children and livelihoods, then clear instructions are needed.

Divorce only seems to be an incredibly confusing event: everything is on edge, it is not clear who is to blame and what to do. In fact, everything is not as bad as it might seem with fright. This is not even a repair that requires multitasking from all involved! In a divorce, there are only three issues that need to be addressed:

1. Registration of divorce: a document is required confirming that from date X you are not a family and from that moment you do not owe each other anything.
2. Division of jointly acquired property: it is necessary to decide how many forks, stools, apartments and money in offshore accounts each of the former spouses will receive.
3. Determination of conditions for minor children: with whom they remain, what will be the procedure for paying child support and the mode of communication with parents.

Simplified diagram

Simplified diagram

You both want to part, you don’t have children (or you have, but adults, you have, but not common), you have nothing to share. Together you go to the registry office (at the place of residence of one of you or where the marriage was registered) and file an application for divorce. In a month you become free people. A certificate of divorce will be issued and stamped there. Property, by the way, can be divided in court and after an official divorce in the registry office. The statute of limitations is three years. But if you find out about the secret bank account ex-husband five years after the divorce, three years of limitation period will begin to count from the moment of sudden discovery.

Instead of the registry office, you can apply at the MFC, the application procedure is similar to that required at the registry office. In Moscow, this method is preferred. You can not go anywhere at all, but send an application for divorce through a single portal of public services. But this theoretical possibility, although declared on all official resources, is far from being implemented everywhere and may require an electronic signature or “key”, which you still have to go for on foot.

Standard scheme

Standard scheme

You have something to share, but you have resolved these issues peacefully and amicably. Make out:

• an agreement on children - a handwritten one, even without notarization: you write down with whom the child lives, how often and where he contacts the second parent, how and in what amount alimony is paid;
• marriage contract or agreement on the division of property. A marriage contract concerns only property relations (it does not concern children!), It can be drawn up at any time of marriage and must be certified by a notary. For an agreement, notarization is not necessary, but it’s calmer, especially if it comes to someone’s mind to challenge it.

Then you file a lawsuit in the world court, attaching documents confirming that everything is divided and there is nothing more to share. The lawsuit is filed by one of the spouses, the other is the defendant. If you wish, you can file a petition for consideration of your case in absentia, saving yourself from the need to attend the meeting. The term for making a decision is from one to four months, taking into account the period for reconciliation, which the judge may appoint. The divorce certificate and the stamp in the passport will be put in the registry office on the basis of the divorce decision that has entered into force.

Divorce without husband's consent

Divorce without husband's consent

He does not want to get a divorce and does not come to the registry office. This does not mean that you are not going anywhere now. You file a lawsuit with a world court and wait for a court decision, attending meetings in good faith or sending your representative (since you don’t go yourself anyway, it’s better to contact a lawyer - it will turn out faster and more painlessly). The court has the right to make a decision in the absence of the defendant, if he especially maliciously evades participation in the process.

It is much more difficult if the husband comes to court, but does not just object to the dissolution of the marriage, but puts forward quite tangible arguments: unresolved disputes about property and children. You can't get by with a justice of the peace, you'll have to transfer the case to the district court. A justice of the peace is not entitled to divide property worth more than 50 thousand rubles or make decisions about the future fate of children.

At this stage, it is better to immediately contact a lawyer in order to avoid unnecessary hassle - it will be enough anyway.

Divorce without wife's consent

You should not balk and drag out the process: you can not allow him to dissolve the marriage only when you are pregnant, and also until the child is 1 year old. In other cases, he will still get his divorce, and you will get frayed nerves and forever ruined relationships.

It is absolutely foolish to use a child as a weapon, not to give him to his father, not to allow them to meet. If you resist, the court will give the child to you - the courts in Russia in almost 100% of cases (with the exception of divorce cases involving large oligarchs) decide the issue in favor of the mother. But if you plan to move after work to your mother in settlements or in England, and the child is used to living in his own area, where he has a school, friends and circles, then let him stay with his father - it will be better for everyone. Will visit you during the holidays.

Trying to delay the divorce process by challenging the options for dividing property is not only very tiring, but also completely useless. You will be divorced anyway, and then you will divide the acquired property through the courts.

Property division

In accordance with the family code, everything that is acquired by overwork during marriage is divided exactly in half. But gifts are not shared. And the legacy too. And personal items (bras, fur coats and toothbrushes). There are other nuances.

Don't give up without a fight

Don't give up without a fight:

• Jewelry. Yes, by law gems and metals are not recognized as personal things and are subject to division - but this is a gift, right? Present witnesses of the gift, gift inscriptions, video recordings of the celebration. Even the shape of the jewelry itself will help: of course, the ring with a three-carat diamond was purchased as a gift to you - it is frankly feminine!
• what you bought for the family by selling your personal property (not legally classified as common). Figurines to him, not the jeep for which you sold the sports cup donated by dad color pink and gutted grandmother's inheritance! Bring evidence of your investment to the court - and let him cry every time he sees his damn jeep on the street, repainted in fuchsia and painted with flowers!
• children's property. The courts are very sensitive to violations of the rights and interests of minors, and children's property is not subject to division by law - so no one will be able to take away a laptop, bank accounts issued to a child and shares in real estate. Does the child stay with you? This means that all the equipment in the house is necessary to ensure the normal functioning of the child. It needs to be taken to school and to additional classes so as not to disturb the usual rhythm of life - there is no way without a car. In war as in war - a lawyer will find how to unprincipledly divide property in your favor.

Of course, the temptation is great to slam the door, declare that you do not need anything and feel noble and independent. But now you decide not only for yourself, but also for the child. People around you will admire your nobility for a couple of months, and then you will have to survive.

Breed. Divorce of sentries. Divorce saw. Divorce of bridges. Leave the rooster for breeding (to get offspring from hens).

2. Changing of the guards of one military unit by another (military).

3. only ed. State according to Ch. divorce in 1 digit. - get divorced. She and him (or he and her) are divorced. They are divorced. Get a divorce. Give a divorce. Divorce process.

4. only many. Patterns, patterned drawing (special). Tablecloth with blue stains.

Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov. D.N. Ushakov. 1935-1940.

See what "DIVORCE" is in other dictionaries:

Undoubtedly, love exists, otherwise why so many divorces? Edgar Howe Divorce is probably almost as old as marriage. Although I believe that marriage is another week older. Voltaire I keep to the old rules. I believe that people should combine... ... Consolidated encyclopedia of aphorisms

Breeding, dissolution of marriage, stain, separation, delivery, re-planting, drawing, wiring, dissolution, flow, separation, pattern, reproduction, delivery Dictionary of Russian synonyms. divorce divorce (official) Dictionary of synonyms of the Russian language. ... ... Synonym dictionary

DIVORCE, ah, husband. (specialist.). Checking the readiness of the guards before sending them to their shift, to posts. R. Karaulov. II. DIVORCE see divorce 3. III. DIVORCE, ah, husband. 1. see divorce 1, s 1. 2. Dissolution, dissolution of marriage 1. Spouses have been divorced for a long time ... ... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov

See Divorce... Law Dictionary

See Divorce... Big Encyclopedic Dictionary

DIVORCE 1, a, m. (special). Checking the readiness of the guards before sending them to their shift, to posts. R. Karaulov. Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 ... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov

See divorce 3. Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 ... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov

DIVORCE 3, a, m. Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 ... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov

- DIVORCE, Russia, VKSR / Studio Nord / Ariadna, 1992, b/w, 30 min. Tragicomedy. A tragicomic story that took place in the city court. Cast: Sergey Popov (see. POPOV Sergey Sergeevich), Irina Petrova, Sergey Gabrielyan (see. GABRIELYAN Sergey), ... ... Cinema Encyclopedia

A specially established procedure for the appointment and distribution of personnel for shipboard work, for watches and for duty. The call of personnel for R. to work is made by a special signal on the bugle (Small collection) or by an order from the watch, to ... Marine Dictionary

Books

• Divorce, Diana Johnson, Isabelle Walker, a young beautiful American woman, comes to Paris to visit her half-sister Roxanne, a poetess who married a French aristocrat and, thanks to this, enters ... Series: Romantic drama Publisher: Amphora, Red Fish,
• Divorce , Diana Johnson , Isabelle Walker, a young beautiful American woman, comes to Paris to visit her half-sister Roxanne, a poetess who married a French aristocrat and, thanks to this, enters ... Series:

In the territory Russian Federation a man and a woman have the right to legally consolidate their relationship. At the same time, it is allowed to terminate such relations. However, some important conditions must be met.

Basic moments

This statement is used if there is a compromise between the spouses who are going to divorce. If for some reason the other party refuses to give a divorce, it is necessary to form an application for. Its content is governed by the same provision.

The application contains the following information:

1. Data of the spouse submitting the application - surname, name, patronymic.
2. Passport details or other identification document.
3. Information from the marriage certificate.
4. The surname that the applicant will keep after the divorce.
5. The basis for divorce is clearly formulated and with reference to the legislation in force in the Russian Federation.
6. The date the application was made.
7. Date of commencement of divorce proceedings.
8. Applicant's signature.

There is one important nuance associated with the preparation of the application. It must contain the date corresponding to the day the documents were submitted. Otherwise, the staff of the institution may simply refuse to accept the document.

The list of documents that you need to have with you for a divorce through the court includes the following:

• passport or other document confirming the identity of the plaintiff;
• a receipt confirming the payment of the state fee - in 2015 it was necessary to pay 1 thousand rubles;
• marriage certificate;
• all children - regardless of their age (less than 18 years or more);
• residence with the plaintiff of joint children - if this fact takes place;
• application for divorce (from both spouses - if a compromise is found).

If necessary, the court may also require the applicant to submit the following documents:

1. Information about wages – .
2. Others.

Moreover, it is desirable, if possible, to comply with all the requirements of the court. This will avoid the occurrence of various kinds of problems.

How long does the divorce process take?

After filing an application with the court or the registry office, they wait 30 days. Only after that the marriage is dissolved, or the trial begins - if there are any serious controversial issues.

It is important to remember that within a thirty-day period, either party has the right to withdraw an application demanding a divorce without any consequences - no legal action will be taken, the civil status will remain unchanged.

This practice is implemented in order to reduce the number of divorces - it often happens that ex-spouses change their minds a few days after filing an application.

Divorces are unfavorable to the state for a number of reasons:

• deterioration of the demographic situation;
• increased workload on courts and other institutions;
• social problems.

Video: divorce legal advice

Special nuances

There are many important nuances related to divorce proceedings.

The most important are the following:

1. Dissolution of a marriage when a woman is in a position or a child less than a year old is possible if her behavior is identified as antisocial.
2. If the pregnant woman is less than 18 years old and has a child who is under 1 year old, the court may require the appointment of a guardian (most often these are parents).
3. All property acquired during the marriage is strictly divided between the spouses.

Dissolution of marriage in case of incapacity of one of the spouses or pronounced antisocial behavior is established immediately. But there must be documentary evidence for this fact.

The legislative framework

If possible, divorcing spouses should study the legislative framework in as much detail as possible.

It includes the following:

one of five couples is currently being bred in our country. This can be caused by various reasons, including incompatibility of characters, lack of mutual understanding, and many other various reasons that eventually lead to divorce. In such a situation, the spouses have a question: how to file a divorce through the registry office as painlessly and quickly as possible? The most suitable option for these requirements would be to contact the Civil Registry Office (ZAGS). But it should be understood that divorce through this government agency is not always possible.

The concept of divorce

What is marriage, understand many. This is a union of the stronger sex and the weaker sex, registered by authorized state bodies, based on mutual understanding and love. Divorce, respectively, is the dissolution of this union or marriage.

Such measures are due to the fact that currently more than eighteen percent of married couples separate before having lived together for three years. Many in their passports have several stamps about marriage and its dissolution, many know how to file a divorce through the registry office. While ending a union between a man and a woman is no big deal these days, requiring both spouses to file for divorce can in some cases save the relationship by giving the couple extra time to think.

The term of the divorce process in the registry office

Of course, all divorcees are interested in the question of how long they will be divorced. The legislation establishes that no more than thirty days should pass from the moment the divorce application is filed to the moment when the registry office employees must provide a certificate of divorce. It would be possible to shorten this period, but the legislator decided to make it longer in order to give at least some time to a man and a woman to think about their act. It's no secret that quite a large number of married couples turn to the registry office in emotional arousal, for example, after a quarrel. A period of 30 days allows the spouses to cool down and not make rash decisions.

The term of the divorce process is established by laws, it cannot be changed by anyone. If the spouse wants to extend this period, you will need to go to court. There, the case can take up to several months. For the desire of one spouse is enough. If the other does not agree to this procedure, the court will still be forced to dissolve the marriage. Although there are some exceptions and nuances in the judicial divorce process.

The practice of divorce proceedings in different regions of Russia

If the spouses decide not to divorce during the indicated period, then it is enough for them simply not to come to the registry office anymore for certificates of divorce.

The union will be preserved, but the state fee paid by the spouses will not be returned to them. If the couple does not change their decision during this time, then only one spouse can appear to receive a certificate of divorce.

But it is desirable to pay special attention to the fact that such a practice does not exist in all subjects of the Russian Federation. In some cases, in order for the marriage to be saved, after submitting the application, the spouses need to re-apply to the registry office and withdraw their application. If the spouses do not do this, then after 30 days the marriage is terminated automatically.

Divorce in the registry office on the grounds provided for by law

Divorce in the registry office for any of the previously listed grounds requires the provision of additional documents and the performance of certain actions.

When family union is terminated with an incompetent person, the second spouse needs to obtain a conclusion from a psychotherapist. Instead of a legally incompetent, an application for divorce can be filed by his guardian, who is a legal representative, a certificate from the medical institution where the sick spouse is located can be submitted to the registry office.

When dissolving a marriage with a person sentenced to deprivation of liberty, it should be taken into account that such a divorce is possible if the term of deprivation of liberty is more than 3 years. This must be evidenced by the judgment of the court.

Termination of a marriage due to death will require the presentation of a death certificate of the spouse, and a divorce with a missing spouse - a certificate from the internal affairs bodies or a corresponding court decision.

Marriage relations, including divorce, in Russia are regulated by the Family Code, as well as other legislative acts.