The everyday situation when the spouse left her husband for her lover is quite common. But the situation when she asks to return is not that a great rarity, it is just that they, as a rule, are not very advertised. Usually, the departure of one of the spouses is accompanied by a storm of emotions, screams, sounds of broken dishes. But reconciliation is always quiet.

But even in order to accept an ex-wife who went to her lover, and now asks to quietly return back, very good reasons are needed. And if now the wife, whom you probably already managed to write down in the category of the former, again appeared on the doorstep with a suitcase in hand and asks to go home, for sure, at least for a second, you will think - to be or not to be. There comes such a moment, during which the whole life flashes before our eyes, and all kinds of "pros" and "cons" fall on the scales.

If you do not mind, I will spend this conditional second next to you and help you with the correct arguments - whether to allow her to come back or not.

Systematic wife cheating

Let's try to imagine what it takes to forgive your ex-wife for the fact that you spent on her best years of his only life, he spent 18 hours a day, gave her the best, sometimes denying himself some small joys. Everything in order to provide her and your children with decent living conditions, and instead of gratitude, you receive the news that she went to another man.

The very departure to a lover suggests that the decision seems to be emotional, but not spontaneous. They don't just go to an unfamiliar peasant. So, the romance with your lover flared up some time ago, and while you worked hard, you had some aggravating circumstances. In the form of horns. Branched such. Who made a Deer out of you. That's right, with a capital letter.

Now think, what went wrong with your faithful, that she decided to leave her lover and asks to come back to you? And, I'm used to not only sleeping sweetly, but also eating deliciously, dressing well, relaxing in good conditions, and the new khakhal, although he sang like a nightingale, did not succeed anywhere except for alcove pranks. It's unfortunate, but what have you got to do with it? She had already made her choice, no one particularly forced her. Gone means gone. Now it's not your job to provide for your ex-wife and her whims. And her tears, felting at her feet and the fact that she asks back should not shake you in the least.

After all, who said that their relationship with her lover was over. Perhaps she asks back because the newly-minted lovers are playing a play and want to live a little at your expense. Love is love, but you also want to eat. So don't be that Deer, drive her out of the door, so that even the spirit is gone.

Will children help to forgive?

Of course, it is much more difficult to make a decision if you managed to acquire heirs. Children, especially small children, can greatly shake the belief that there is no forgiveness for their walking mother. And the fact that in this case she will try to use the presence of offspring for her own purposes is a fact.

But here, too, you need to keep your head cold. Did she think about children when she went to her lover? Why, when she asks back, does she manipulate them? And then, I hope that your desire to remain a father does not depend on whether you live with your children under the same roof. And then, no one has the right to prohibit you or your parents from communicating with the heirs. If you are not a rag and you still have the courage to throw it out, after which your ex-wife will interfere with meetings with children - feel free to sue. Your days for meeting your child are guaranteed. And then it will suddenly turn out that you can get full custody. Of course, our laws are humane, and as a rule, the court takes the side of the mother, even the walking one. But who knows…

You may regret wasting years, money, or whatever. However, you need to regret only your own indiscretion. When he got married - did he not consider his wife's "tendency to run away"? Or when, already being a legal wife, she was making eyes at strangers? Also did not pay attention, writing off the usual female coquetry? Well, the punishment for inattention in this case, unfortunately, is quite adequate. But I don’t want to upset you. I hope you still have enough time ahead of you so that when you have another woman you can make the decision to marry consciously, carefully and for life. In a word, thinking with your head, and not with what you thought when you got married for the first time.

If your wife went to her lover, and now you give up the slack, forgive her and allow her to come back, then there is a high probability that after a while you will encounter a problem - she has not sincerely repented. With one it did not work - she will look for another, a third, until she finds it. The one who betrayed once - will betray again, this is an axiom. And you will simply waste time, your best years of life. And then you will again be unbearably hurt. But besides time, you can also lose most of your property.

Admitting mistakes or deceit?

There are women who have gone to their lover, but eventually realize that they have made a mistake. Not because they lost something materially, but because comparing them, they understand that it was definitely better in the previous family.

And after the first passion leaves and the woman begins to slowly think with her head, it turns out that such a radical step as leaving for her lover was taken rashly. And he seems to want to go back, but he realizes that he can hardly count on forgiveness. It is likely that she will try to return to the past, but having received a turn from the gate, she will quite successfully be content with what she has. But there are also such insidious individuals, even though they understand that they have made a mistake and will not receive forgiveness - they are ready to shake them out of ex-husband every last penny for the maintenance of your beloved.

My friend, Katya, all the years, while she lived with her husband, regularly walked to the left. And while he earned money with blood and sweat on business trips and on "covens", she had fun in his apartment with various lovers. The birth of a baby not only did not stop her, but only provoked her. How does she lose her former attractiveness? No, she should get twice as many men. And her unsuspecting Sergei continued to work, starting to earn good money. Gradually, their life, through the efforts of her husband, improved - they bought an apartment, then a good car. And Katya continued her humming until finally, as in a joke, her husband returns from a business trip, and his wife returns with her lover. The unhappy man threw both of them out of the apartment.

But my wife did not even think to ask back. A loud divorce proceedings followed, during which Katya demanded to leave absolutely all property to her. And even when Sergei moved out of the apartment to his mother, she continued to pester him with slander. When, six months later, he bought himself another apartment (you will not live with your parents for the rest of your life) - he filed a lawsuit to get it also! At the same time, she herself already lived in a civil marriage with a new khakhal.

Another friend, Ira, in her twenties of marriage, went to a resort. Alone, without a husband. With only one purpose. Diversify your personal life somewhat. With a living husband and son. The result of a two-week holiday romance was Ira's pregnancy. She returned home, told everything to her husband and announced that she was divorcing him and leaving to live with her lover. But as often happens, the lover showed no delight either from Ira's pregnancy, or from her burning desire to live together.

Besides the fact that he himself considered the adventure over, his wife might have been against it. What did Ira do in the end? Fell at the feet of her husband, began to ask back and had an abortion? No, it’s not. She told her husband that she would give birth. And as soon as they are already divorced, then she sues for the division of property (the apartment was donated by her husband's parents !!!). And she also threatened that if her faithful decides to arrange his personal life, her lawyer dad will help her to sue the whole apartment.

Do not forgive!

It's time to ask - would you forgive such women? Why did you decide that your ex is not like that? And then - does a woman who was for you the standard of purity, a symbol of femininity, but in fact turned out to be a banal adventurer (and this is very putting it mildly) deserves to come back? And if you accept her back, and in a month you find out that she is pregnant - after all, until the end of your life you will ask yourself the question of whether you are the father of the child who was born or is it the fruit of her passion on the side?

I am not making excuses for radical Muslims who execute spree wives, but I understand that an unfaithful wife must cease to exist for at least one man. For you. And even if you brought up 100,500 children together, for you faith in sincere bright feelings is over - now there is “before” and “after”. The wife is gone, and the old life is gone - now you will be stricter, tougher, more judicious and will hardly fall into the clutches of the first predator you come across.

A harsh male "no" will save the fate of you and your loved ones and save you from rash actions.

Ex-wife wants to return

Return wife

Ex-wife wants to return

Women are extremely amazing creatures who often do such illogical things that we men can only be shocked. For this reason, we should not be surprised if the ex-wife, who left you earlier with tantrums and scandals, expresses a desire to snuggle under your strong shoulder again.

And although this situation seems rather ambiguous, we, nevertheless, will suggest the main line of thought that you should follow when making your final decision.

Remember that at such moments, men most often begin to rush from side to side, dooming to failure not only a possible reunion with their ex-wife.

If you were the initiator of the breakup with your ex-wife

This case has almost one of the easiest solutions. If you were the initiator of the break with her, then you must clearly be aware of and remember the reasons that served as the reason for the breakup. You just need to make sure that these reasons are still there, which means that you should not return to the broken trough. And if everything is not so bad, then again the initiative comes from you.

As a rule, if a man already has a relationship that he values, then he should not return to the one that he had previously abandoned himself. Of course, there are small thoughts about the past and the desire to "remember youth", but the current relationship is still decisive.

If a man is without a second half, then after a couple of meetings with his ex, he feels: is there a spark or not. And he himself then makes the final decision.

Those. all the initiative comes from you, what decision you make, this will be the right one! In this situation, there is no way for you to be wrong.

If the ex-wife was the initiator of the separation

But this is a real trap, since you have to make a choice in a situation where you do not know all the terms of the deal. Your wife can talk to you about old feelings and true love, and she, for example, can cool down after her last romance, either she needs your money, or she just got bored of loneliness and wanted to ruin your life. Of course, there may be a sincere desire to restore relations with you, but even this appears after she has been battered by life without you. In general, everything is very speculative.

Situation "Banner"... The ex-wife contacts you and invites you to restore the relationship, motivating everything with pure love. Since this presentation never works, it adds here the desire to give your children a happy childhood and upbringing. Those. it starts to press on you through your children.

On the other hand, you have either already married another woman or are close to it, so your new woman is not indifferent to you. This is where the difficult question turns out: "Who to choose in this situation?"

There is a simple rule here: "You should never deal with dubious partners when there are safe options." Therefore, if you are now happy in your new relationship, then you have no moral right to destroy your happiness for the sake of a dubious opportunity to make peace with your ex-wife. But if in your current relationship you are unhappy, then any of your decisions will be correct.

Lonely breadwinner situation. When your ex-wife proposes to rebuild the relationship, and you are not currently in a relationship, then your decision should be careful and slow to act.

Yes, you do not have a second half now to easily refuse your ex, and the opportunity to be with your ex again cannot but please you. But you must clearly answer yourself one question: “For what purposes does she do this? Why exactly now does she want to restore relations? "

As a rule, there really are such women who, after some time, realize that their decisions were hasty, and they really do not want to live without you. But there are those who simply solve some of their problems with the help of you, or need some help.

Even if she has a need and such a step is a necessary measure, this generally does not deny your victory over her, but it would still be useful to know the truth. Therefore, before making a final decision, be a little lazy cat, who seems to be flattering, but is not given in hand.

After a maximum of a month of such a relationship with your ex-wife, you can see true reason... And this will already help you make the right decision. If you decline your offer ex-wife, then this will also be the right decision.

Weapons of women

To get a positive answer from you, many women resort to fairly effective, but still straightforward manipulations. You should know them so as not to lose the ability to think rationally.

Think about the kids. This is one of the most powerful manipulations when a woman puts her children at the forefront, not your feelings and understanding. Naturally, any man will be offended by such a formulation of the question, because no one wants to be an irresponsible parent. However, you must understand that first of all you decide the question of personal happiness, and only then you must think about children. You know, sometimes life without a father for children is even better than life in a family where parents argue and quarrel with each other day after day. Therefore, first decide for yourself, then think about children. This is the only way you can do better for them.

Manipulation of the past. The more time passes, the more the bad memories are forgotten and the good ones remain. This is a common practice when a person protects himself from negative memories. Therefore, women love to remind a man of the past (good past). Then the man looks back and realizes that their relationship was wonderful, everything was fine, and he is such a fool that he missed such a woman. And then he falls into the clutches of his ex.

To avoid such a situation, you need to look at the current state of affairs, and not admire your past. Then your decisions will be more adequate.

Husbands who have gone to their mistress often ask back. How long will the affair last? Let's analyze the stages of the relationship between husband and mistress.

Unfortunately, not all men realize that cheating can destroy a family forever. Sometimes understanding comes only after the betrayal has already been discovered, the wife does not want to have anything to do with the person who cheated on her. Many women are ready to forgive the offender if he returns and asks for forgiveness. The husband went to his mistress and I wonder when he will return? Let's take a look at the stages of their relationship.

Do husbands return from mistresses?

Of course, this happens very often. However, let's not get ahead of ourselves. First you need to understand that any relationship goes through several stages.

For example, the first stage is when two people notice each other. This is the stage of accumulating potential, when people look closely at one another, trying to understand whether they like them, whether there can be something between them. The most annoying thing is that the flash often does not occur in 3 seconds. For some, the impulse is enough, but many men admit that their passion has been fueled for years, and sometimes even decades.

Will the husband return to the family from his mistress if he has been planning his "escape" for years? Complex issue.

The initial stage of a relationship with a mistress

How long does it take for husbands to return from their mistresses?

The stage when everything is fine, the world looks cute, and butterflies flutter in the stomach, lasts about 3-4 months. During this period of time, the potential of the candy-bouquet period passes. There is still no time for everyday trifles, not for solving some real problems. A man tries to look macho in the eyes of the opposite sex, capable of any feats.

After a few months, many feel that they have played enough. Now they understand that the candy-bouquet period cannot last forever. Men who are not too hardy may show the first signs of a desire to return to their old life. When the husband returns from his mistress, you can understand by this "saturation" of his novel on the side.

The next stage of the relationship between husband and mistress

This is pressure from the girl to decide on the relationship.

To be honest, few people are satisfied with the role of a mistress. For many girls, this is humiliating, and therefore they put pressure on the man, trying to achieve a clear answer and promises for the future. Moreover, the promises must be quite specific. For example, a mistress can fish out a promise to divorce no later than a month later.

The husband went to his mistress, and you do not know when he will return? At this stage, he may already be thinking about returning to the family, because not every man will divorce his wife, much less promise to marry someone again. Feelings of guilt often arise at this stage. The person begins to realize that he has hurt someone and offended a loved one. Moreover, there is nostalgia for the old relationship.

How long does it take for a husband to return from his mistress? Stage "I'll dial you myself"

When women ask how long the husband returns from his mistress, I want to answer that in six months or a year at most, but in fact, not everything is so simple.

When your husband returns from his mistress, only your husband knows.

It all depends on what kind of relationship people are in. We can only say that often after 4-5 months of relationship (if the husband has not yet returned) begins difficult period... If your husband does not want to rush headlong into the maelstrom of a new relationship and understands that it was a mistake, then he will not marry.

There comes a period when he informs his mistress that he will call her back. Or he says that the moment is about to happen when he will settle everything, and they will be happy together again. At this time he himself is negotiating with his wife and probing the ground. If they are ready to accept him back with open arms, then he can easily back up and break off all relations with his mistress.

Will the husband return to the family from his mistress,

depends largely on where there is less pressure on it.

At the final stage, when he decides to “call back later,” pressure from his wife may, on the contrary, decide the case in favor of the family.

Everything is individual. Therefore, it is impossible to unequivocally determine after what time husbands return from their mistresses. We can only say that all stages of betrayal are unpleasant and it is humiliating to wait and hope for the return of a once loved one to the family. Therefore, it is better to build relationships so that a man understands the full weight of responsibility for treason, which will fully fall on his shoulders if this happens.