"How should a father start raising a boy?" This question became the reason for writing the article. Today we are publishing a sequel that reveals the features of raising a boy aged 3 to 5 years.

Crossing the border: from mother to father's side

From the moment the boy realized the presence of his father in his life, he will try to please him at any cost. Even when a boy has good reason to hate his father, deep inside he longs for his father's approval. Any positive response from the father to him - even the most simple words: "Well, boy!" - able to create a real miracle: to give a sense of self-worth, to promote self-acceptance, to give you the necessary confidence to build relationships with other people.

V childhood any inattention, neglect, criticism or ridicule, especially from the father, will hurt the boy to the core.

So, already with the naked eye it became noticeable that our son is ready to leave the world of his mother and enter the world of his father. He tells us in every way that he is ready to change positions.

I remember when my son was about 3 years old, we sent him to kindergarten, and there he told all the children and teachers about his beloved "folder Vovka" and about the cars that the folder repairs and drives. When I picked him up from the kindergarten in the evening, the teacher complained that she was already tired of listening to "Vovka's folder" and "Vovka's folder" - all day, an infinite number of times.

As we have already said, our young hero is on the verge of discovering a new world - the male world. However, not everything goes as smoothly as we would like, and it turns out that the boy himself is not able to switch from the female half to the male half. Moreover, in such young age like three years old. He stops at the beginning of the path and waits, repeating in every way how important the folder is to him, how eager he is to go there, to the folder. And, as a rule, the whole transition stops on this expectation for many, many years.

The reasons for all of us, unfortunately, are very well known - dad is endlessly busy with his own problems: earnings, career, position in society, dissatisfaction with life. Some experiences of a little man do not concern his "great life" at all. "Let him grow up first - then we'll talk," - one can often hear from fathers. Mom, grandmother, nannies, etc. - those who deal with and communicate with the child consider the boy too small, too tender: where should he go to his father? It turns out that male side to accept the boy is not ready, the mother is not ready to let go.

And it is in the absence of this transition that the biggest mistake is made in the education of boys. We see that in all models healthy development the boy is supposed to separate from his mother and go over to his father's side. "But it's not for us!" says most modern parents. “But not with our way of life,” their friends and acquaintances confirm.

After all, this means, for example, for a father - to completely reconsider his life, its routine, priorities, to sacrifice a career and a bottle of beer on the couch (and this is just for starters). For a mother, to entrust her beloved sweet creature to her father, to whom she is attached with all her heart, and therefore to tear him away from herself, and this is also painful and undesirable. It turns out that our little three-year-old hero poses very deep personal questions to all family members: "What are you ready to do for my development? How well is your life arranged? Are you ready to reconsider it?".

And the course of life of our family and our baby in it will depend on how we solve these issues. If we by no means want to hear and see obvious things now, then we will be able to see them much later and only as consequences. But let's not talk about sad things.

Suppose our article is read by parents who see that their baby is ready for the transition and want to help him with this. Let's go back to the description of this process itself.

So, dad is ready to take the baby to his side, mom also sees in this transition an important stage in the development of her son, and the baby himself keeps repeating endlessly that he will go with the folder to repair the car.

The evolutionary task of the boy who crosses the bridge between mother (or woman) and father (or man) is to maintain his relationship to his mother, but now to place her only in second place among his affections.

On the father's side

The task of the father is to "carry the boy across the bridge to the other side." Now the main place in the soul of the boy belongs to the father. His absence or presence has a huge impact on the behavior of the child. Regardless of the nature of the relationship between father and son, it is from the father that the son learns what it means to be a man.

If the father is not at home for a long time, if he spends most of his time at work and remains detached from family life, coming home, if the father completely provides care for the mother’s children, then it is likely that the son in his future family will behave exactly same way. If the father is cruel, addicted to alcohol, or abandoned the family, then statistics suggest that the son will follow his father's example.

And this is the lesson for all fathers: by making peace with your own fathers and accepting the whole truth about yourself, you can properly prepare to help your son "cross the bridge", get to the other side of the barricade. Your son will feel this acceptance, it will be easier for him to perceive his masculine essence, and you, in turn, will rejoice at his persistent attempts to become like you.

Boys need to be accepted into the world of grown men with sympathy, firmness, and fatherly love. It is very scary to leave your mother. The world of paternal views and activities both attracts the boy and frightens him, it seems to him both tempting and dangerous. On this side of the barricade there is a strange paradox: the boy's body is masculine, similar to his father's body, but he came from a mother's body, completely unlike him.

From the father, the son learns not only about his male body, but also about the male warehouse of his mind, soul and spirit. He learns how to succeed and change the world. Even silent communication with the father gives the boy a sense of fulfillment of these needs.

Single mothers are in this transition period in association with his sons. A mother can tell her son about how he is different from her, what is his role in life, what forces are growing in him. But she is not a man, and therefore she cannot communicate to him the innate consciousness of what it means to be a man. If for some reason the child does not have a father, the mother must find an opportunity for her son to communicate with adult men who can pay attention to him and show him how to use the powerful forces that push him into a man's life.

In fact, the strength of the boy's union with his teachers has a huge impact on the process of his maturation. In order for a boy to become a mature man, the presence of other adult men, even if it is not his own father, is vital. Life is now such that ideal families with loving father is getting smaller. Communicating with men who are in his field of vision, listening to their stories, watching their lives, the boy imperceptibly forms a model of what he should become.

Child psychologists say that the full communication of the child with the father, joint outdoor games, playing sports form the child a calmer and more sociable personality, and he also has more developed coordination of movements. What is the main thing that a father and a child from 0 to 5 years old should go through together?

1. Bathing a child (from 0 to 1 year old)

It is especially important that the father bathe or help bathe the baby in his first year of life.

2. Games in the water (from 6 months to 3 years)

Who else, except for dad, can teach the most reckless water fun and do it emotionally and enthusiastically together with the child?!

3. Putting to bed (from 0 to 1 year and beyond)

Do not deprive dad of such participation in the life of a child early age. Dad should also have his own bedtime ritual. This will allow you to create a replacement for any occasion and, of course, at least get some sleep.

4. Shopping (from 0 to 1 year)

In the first year of life, the burden on the mother is great. Trust dad with the purchases, but be sure to write a list of everything you need.

5. Walking with a child (from 1 to 2 years old)

At this age, you can already quite freely entrust dad with walks with a child.

6. Visit to the clinic (from 0 to 2 years)

It's good if dad can accompany you in the first stages. First, he will be an assistant to you, and then support the baby on a variety of medical manipulations. Dad is easier to distract and entertain children in hospitals.

7. Constructors, puzzles, models, etc. (from 2 years and older)

Dad will be able to quickly and simply explain how and what can be folded, help the child in technically difficult moments. And most importantly, he may have more time for long assembly sessions.

8. Funny stories for the night (from 2 to 3 years)

If cute fairy tales are the prerogative of mom, then dad can compose incredible and funny stories that will be a kind of therapy for the child after a busy day.

9. Make surprises for mom (2 years and older)

It doesn’t matter who the child is (boy or girl), surprises for mom from the very own couple will be extremely pleasant for her. At the same time, dad will expand his surprise fantasy to strengthen the special relationship with mom.

10. Learning math, solving puzzles

All humanitarian studies can be left to mom, but to master mathematical concepts, logic tasks can be easier for dad.

11. Teach to take a worthy place in the team

It may be easier for a dad to teach a child to express his opinion, defend his position, gain authority by regulating common sense, the instinct of self-preservation, his dignity, respect for others and the value of friendship.

And what do the child in your family do together? Tell me in the comments.

Poems for children 4-5 years old: congratulations
dad happy birthday.

Dear dad, congratulations
We wish you happiness, joy
Don't be sad, don't be upset
Be cheerful, smile.
Live up to a hundred years
And always be healthy

My dad is the best
I congratulate him now.
And honestly - I'm very, very happy,
That we have such a dad.

He is kind, funny and brave,
He is handsome and very smart.
My dad is not in word, but in deed.
My dad is a champion in everything.

My dad left

I'm without a dad, to be honest,
not easy.
Dad, if you want
can sing a song
If it's cold
warm with your warmth.
daddy can
read a fairy tale
me without dad
it's hard to fall asleep.
Get up and be quiet
I will stand at the door
Dear dad,
come back soon.

T. Bokova

T.Bokova

We go to kindergarten.

Going swimming again
Steamboat and steamboat
And hurries for the ship
Steamboat in full swing
And get tired - the ship
Takes him in tow.

O. Bundur

Popes.

Dads are different:
He is silent, and he screams,
He sometimes sings
The one at the TV sticks out
He sometimes hugs
The warmth of strong hands
He sometimes forgets
That he is his son's best friend.
Dads are different...
And when the days go by
Their sons grow up
Dot to dot, just like them.

O. Bundur.

Like Dad.

I want to be like my dad.
I want to be like a dad in everything.
How is he -
Wear a suit and a hat
Walk, watch and even sleep.
Be strong, smart
Don't be lazy
And do everything like him - for five!
And don't forget to get married!
And ... take our mother as a wife

T. Bokova

In the morning.

I got dressed and washed -
Dad shaved
While I was sitting at the table -
Dad shaved
I already drank tea -
Dad shaved
shaved, shaved
And then he said: “Listen,
That's what WE kopush.

O. Bundur

Dad tells a story.

I know the story by heart
From word to word
But let him tell
Let,
I will listen again.
And I only want one thing
Let the fairy tale last longer.
While I'm with dad
Nothing
Bad things won't happen.
And I ask dad again
Tell a story first.

O. Bundur

Dad has a job!

Dad cares!
And once with us
him to play.
And we love him!
And we are waiting for him!
But if our dad
takes a day off
How cool with him
He's so groovy

T. Prokofieva

Our dad is the smartest, our dad is the bravest!
Of course, he can handle any business.

Our dad is the most gentle, caring and kind!

Happy Birthday we daddy today!
We'll have fun, sing and dance
Let's get on the hands and kiss sweetly!

You can see more poems for dad

Congratulations to the wonderful parents on the 5th anniversary of their wonderful child. Dear ones, I wish your family peace and prosperity, prosperity and prosperity. I wish you a miracle interesting hobbies and fun activities, good adventures and wonderful undertakings, excellent health and the happiest fate.

Learning to write letters
Likes to run and play
Likes to jump and laugh
Flipping good books.

And it seemed only recently
There was a miracle in my stomach.
Time flew by quickly
Five great years already!

I congratulate you on this.
You - patience and kindness,
And I wish the child
Be healthy always!

Congratulations on your fifth birthday, your dear treasure! I wish that in these five years all the dreams and desires of your dear sun come true! May your beloved child always have good health, good mood and many reasons to rejoice!

The princess daughter has grown up,
Five years for your flower
We wish you to grow
And how a rose blooms!

For the sun to shine
And good luck to love
For the stars to shine
So that the eyes do not know tears.

You, parents, patience,
And good mood
Guide your daughter in life
And less whims for you!

Accept congratulations,
Happy fifth birthday.
How fast kids grow up
Our sweets.

Like they were just born...
The years passed quickly.
Live in happiness and love
We congratulate you from the bottom of our hearts.

Happy birthday to wonderful parents. Your child is already 5 years old, you can safely be considered an example of diligent, caring, loving, worthy and happy parents. I wish you patience, hope and strength, good luck, mutual understanding, prosperity and grandiose plans for the future. family life. And may dreams come true, may your child grow up to be the happiest, beloved, a little spoiled, but in right moment- obedient.

You didn't have time to blink -
Anniversary is right here!
On this day five years ago
You have a treasure.

Happy birthday baby!
Let it grow slowly
Be an example in everything
Let the family grow stronger every day!

Today is the first anniversary
He knocked on your door with a smile.
The baby is growing more beautiful and kinder!
We wish that he always smiled,

To bring you love and happiness
Always and everywhere; to be obedient
To make all dreams come true
So that you will never be bored with him.

Let them explore the world with interest
May he grow up healthy and happy!
May every day be like a sweet feast
And everything around is magical and beautiful!

You once brought to the house
Wonderful envelope.
Since then it has flown by
Five fun, glorious years.

Congratulations mom and dad
With honor you passed the stage,
Friendship and beautiful love
Just let the scale expand.

Happiness to your child
Be healthy, don't get sick
You - patience and perseverance,
Look into the distance with optimism.

Congratulations on your child's fifth birthday! May you always have enough love, strength, patience for education, for all the whims and difficulties that are yet to come! I wish that an atmosphere of harmony and mutual understanding always reigned in your home!