What does a child need in order to develop normally and feel happy? The answer is quite simple - a happy family in which an atmosphere of harmony, love and care for others reigns. Unfortunately, not all families of today's world can be attributed such a definition: lack of financial resources, fatigue, eternal haste and fuss simply kill home comfort and understanding, and children, as you know, are extremely sensitive beings to such things. Surely, any mother would really like to pay more attention to her children, but this does not always work out, because the morning rush to work makes you quickly prepare breakfast for the baby and quickly throw him to school or kindergarten, and then you need to rush to work so as not to be late.

After that, some troubles periodically occur at work, because of which the head is spinning, irritability and, of course, severe fatigue appear. After work, mothers rush to kindergarten or school, pick up their baby and run home. Cooking, feeding the baby and the whole family, while the mood is not very good and every disobedience of the child can infuriate. But, the baby is not to blame for this, because no matter how he builds the mother’s mood, but her busy schedule! Look at such a story and, for sure, someone in this story can see themselves. And, if you look deeper, then during the working week, the mother practically does not communicate with the baby, well, if you do not take into account the morning, while she takes her to school or kindergarten, and for an hour in the evening before bedtime. Probably, every mother would like to pay more attention to her baby, so that later in the future she would not regret that she did not pay attention to the child at the age when he needed it so much. You can’t quit your job, because you need to support the baby so that he doesn’t need anything. But, how to be in this case, if it is simply impossible to live differently?

So, we should start, perhaps, with the dependence on each other in raising children and marital relationships. It is always worth remembering that a child, like a sponge, absorbs everything he sees, therefore, how parents behave in a family becomes the fundamental principle of a child's behavior in society. It is very important that the child sees only sincerity, love and support in this regard. In any situation, in any mood, colossal work must be done to ensure that family squabbles, conflicts and showdowns are not opened to the eyes of the child. Only harmony and only love - this is extremely important for the formation of a child's personality. Children in a happy family always grow into strong personalities.

The upbringing of children and adolescents in itself should exclude any negative emotions under the roof of one's own home. In no case should the child hear any shouting and should not see any outbursts of anger. Moreover, in general, a child should be scolded as little as possible, and even more so subjected to physical punishment. It is worth remembering that The best way to solve a problem is to prevent it. If your child has everything necessary for self-realization, he will not have a desire to be naughty and dirty.

It is very important that the child always feels needed, so do not forget to remind him of this every hour, every minute. It does not matter how - verbally or by action. The main thing is that the child feels this need and care with his whole being.

Do not forget about the need for the child to communicate. It should be a combination of communication with peers, and just other children with communication within the family itself. Listen very carefully to what your child says, ask him about things that are important to him, and even if there is very little free time, still try to find a minute to listen and understand your baby.

Tell him that you love. As often as possible. As often as possible. Only in this way will the child feel truly happy.

And most importantly - every minute of your child's life should be filled with magic and a miracle that will forever remain in the soul of your baby, warming with pleasant emotions in childhood and warm memories in adult, independent life.

If we do not know what to look for, we often deprive ourselves of important knowledge. The people who mean a lot to us are, no doubt, our children. Those of us who lived a bleak childhood repeat the same sad mistake already as parents, and all because we do not know how a happy family works. .
All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Leo Tolstoy. "Anna Karenina".

There is a formula for a happy family that we can adopt.

Happy Families Apply the Love Spiral

Most parents love their children, but in happy families, parents show their love all the time.

Raising children is no easy task. The tension of family life is such that events can develop only in two ways.

The first is a downward spiral. A child screams, children break something, some kind of trouble happens. Angry parents respond with criticism and punishment. The child screams even louder. The situation is getting worse and worse.

The second scheme is an ascending spiral. Children are smart, smart and inquisitive. They love to learn and need adult attention. Even the mere presence of the mother makes the baby rejoice and smile. Parents are proud of their children and show small signs of love, thanks to which the children begin to frolic and have fun even more. And touched parents experience even greater tenderness and pride. Etc.

Each family has both helixes. But in happy families, the positive spirals far outweigh the negative ones. In such families, children grow up calm, self-confident and repeat the model of a positive spiral already in their own family.

The atmosphere in the family is set by the parents by their first actions when they have their first child. By creating and strengthening a positive spiral, parents slowly but surely lay the foundation for a happy and lasting family.

Feedback on the first manifestations parental love colossal. Relatively small efforts bring huge benefits to both the child and the parents.

Happy families are distinguished by positive, not negative feedback.
Researchers working at one school noticed that teachers praise good work and criticize bad behavior. As an experiment, they were asked to praise both good work and good behavior and ignore bad behavior. Soon there was little to no bad behavior.

At home, praise is also much more effective than criticism and reproaches, as it reinforces the upward spiral. An 80/20 life encourages effortless praise, and the payoff in a child's life is endless. Praise for child development it is like water to a flower: a little encouragement makes it grow luxuriantly. A child raised in a warm, friendly atmosphere of love and attention throughout his life has an incredibly positive impact on other people. A little praise will bring you huge benefits in the future.

In happy families, parents always have time for their children.
A close, intimate relationship between parents and children builds a sense of security and reliability for the rest of their lives.

Children do not understand the meaning of the expression "the allotted time", they require attention all the time. And absolutely right. According to the 80/20 lifestyle, we should pay more attention and care to a few people, those who are close and dear to us. Time spent with a child is time spent for the benefit of both the child, the family and society as a whole.

If you can't talk to your child, make sure that he doesn't see you. He can reconcile with the absence, but with your employment, when you are around, but do not pay attention to him - no.

In happy families, parents are friendly and attentive to each other.
Children are incredibly perceptive and have an amazing ability to communicate. They love to play pranks on their parents and turn one against the other. For them, conflict is an intriguing and empowering phenomenon.

Such entertainment must be nipped in the bud by all means. Parents should constantly show that they love each other even when they are unhappy with something. And as a result, love, overcoming and conquering irritability and anger, will bring happiness and joy.

Happy families are able to cope with difficult and naughty children.
By and large, happy families have no easier time than unhappy ones. They just know how to deal with difficulties better.

If you have a child, be prepared for the possibility that he may be difficult child. Children are unpredictable and can shock you.

My friends had serious difficulties with their son, but they managed to cope with them perfectly. I asked how.

“We attended trainings for parents,” said the father. - On them, all problems were divided into three categories: our own problems, generated either by the parents themselves or by other family members; general problems generated by children and the family, and the problems of the child himself, as a rule, not related to the family. Each category of problems requires a specific solution.

“During the consultation process,” his wife added, “it turned out that most of the conflicts arise because of the problems of the son, and we should change our attitude towards the difficulties of Charles (son). We began to offer him a solution to his problem, and the choice was left to him. This has helped to reduce conflicts by three-quarters, and our family life has become more harmonious and peaceful. And Charles became much happier, because we stopped constantly telling him what to do and how to do it.”

Happy Families Maintain Discipline But Don't Deprive Love
Punishment is effective method, but only when absolutely clear boundaries of permissible behavior are established. Deprivation of privileges for a certain time - reasonable and effective method. At the same time, it is necessary to make the child understand that he was punished for a specific action, and not for a quality or character trait. And in any case, no matter what the child has done, never deprive him of warmth, love and understanding.

my good friends this wisdom is hard to come by. They have two sons, both in their twenties. They are nice and smart guys. However, at one time, the younger Daniel gave them a lot of trouble.

When Daniel was eleven years old, he stole money, while quite successfully shifting the blame to his classmate. Daniel's mother, realizing the need for drastic measures, deprived her youngest son of attention. For almost a month she did not talk to him and did not communicate.

Her decision turned into a real disaster. When she realized the mistake she had made, she tried to compensate for her love with sensitive attention and care. But Daniel, and therefore the whole family, continued to be haunted by problems, partly caused by the deprivation of love and understanding during this difficult period.

Punishment, as a rule, is not the only one, and even more so the best remedy maintaining discipline. When a child cries, is naughty or mischievous, parents are tempted to either punish him or give in to his demands so that peace and quiet reign. Instead, you can explain to the child that whining and crying will not achieve anything, but your smile is quite capable of creating a miracle. If from the age of four you encourage smiling more than crying and whimpering, then what do you think your child will strive for?

Happy families tell bedtime stories
10-20 minutes before the child falls asleep is the most valuable and important time. A bedtime story allows you to show your love and provides your child with enjoyable and engaging dream material.

The children of one of my friends loved to listen to bedtime stories, because their father made up stories every night. new history in which they were the main characters. You can come up with fairy tales in advance or use the help of imaginative friends.

Another great idea is to ask your child before bed, “What did you enjoy doing today?” If he resurrects in his memory all the good things that happened to him during the day, he will fall asleep peaceful and serene. Some psychologists believe that this practice helps prevent depression.

Considering the value of such communication, both directly for the child and for strengthening your intimacy, turn this communication into a pleasant tradition. The effort is minimal and the reward priceless.

Have you ever thought about the happiness of a family? What moments create the unity of several people, make the union harmonious?

The family in the process of evolution was formed not in vain. This is a community of people that has its own traditions, remembers its ancestors, respects its family, and strives to adequately educate the new generation.

A real family is strong and friendly, all its members feel a close connection with each other.

How to live with the mother-in-law in one apartment? Learn about it from ours.

What does it mean?

A happy family can be seen immediately: between its members there is harmony, mutual understanding.

If you pay attention to the photographs, you will see smiling faces, people stand close to each other, there is an attraction between them, glances, gestures are directed at loved ones.

Children in such families know that they are respected. Leisure time and leisure happy family tends to spend together.

They are well next to each other, small conflicts do not develop into large ones, but are incentive for change. If a quarrel arises, it quickly ends, because a happy family does not see the point in sorting things out, they are looking for a way to solve the problem better and faster.

Finding out whether happiness really reigns in a family, one must take into account that a family can be happy externally and internally.

Externally It is an expression of one's feelings, relationships in public. And it does not always coincide with the internal. You can see smiling faces, but if you look closely, you will understand that in reality people are far from each other and just pretend to be happy.

internal family happiness is real, when there is no need to demonstrate your attitude, harmony always reigns.

The combination of external and internal manifestations constitutes complete happiness. It is such a family that is truly harmonious - it does not need to pretend - joy, fun, love are natural and do not disappear under the influence of circumstances or strangers.

What is family happiness: psychology

What is family happiness?

Family happiness closely related to emotions that family members feel for each other.

Getting married, people hope that happiness will come to them, they will live together until old age, give birth to children.

but pink glasses quickly subside, family life comes, financial problems, people begin to see the shortcomings of a partner. The first comes, then the next, and not every family calmly passes through them.

Many couples, others live for years in war mode, unable to find mutual language, but also not wanting to leave in order to create a new, more prosperous union. Eventually not only spouses suffer, but also their children.

If you come home with joy, meet your soul mate, you feel good together, then you can call yourself a happy couple.

Qualities

Let's look at the qualities of a happy family.

A happy family will not sort things out in public, criticize a partner, complain about children or the older generation.

They act together together, and this is what unites them even more. There are no strong disagreements in it, because the goals are directed in one direction, and there is such a family as a single organism.

Harmony - concept and manifestations

Harmony It is a state of balance, balance.

There are practically no quarrels in a harmonious family, and if disputes arise, they are resolved as efficiently and beneficially as possible for all its members.

In a harmonious family feeling of calmness, wholeness, there are positive emotions, and if someone is upset, sick, then close people support, help to get out of emotional negativity or a difficult life situation.

In a family where there is balance, the morning starts positively, in the evening people rush home, because there they are waiting for loved ones who need attention and care.

The basis of harmony is calmness and that you are needed, that your loved ones will always support you, give you a smile, and help improve your mood.

In such families, they are unacceptable - they violate the created balance, bring negativity into existence. Harmonious families shunned as a factor threatening peace and integrity.

Are there ideal unions?

It seems that a happy family is some unattainable ideal.

You, your acquaintances, periodically conflict with loved ones, someone has financial difficulties, someone in other families gets sick.

And the question arises - are there really absolutely happy families? Yes, they are. In many respects it depends on the people who are married, on their willingness to work on relationships, save them.

Probably, there is no concept of absolute happiness, and it is not achievable. But to create a good friendly family everyone is capable. However, this is a lot of work, and above all on yourself.

You can not, you have no right to force others to change, but they are able to work on their attitude towards close people. And by changing your attitude, ways of influencing, communication, you will begin to notice that family members began to behave differently.

Each person has his own concept of happiness, therefore it is impossible to derive a single formula, a recipe, following which you and your family will certainly be satisfied with your life together.

But if you try to bring harmony and joy into the world, then you can certainly achieve this. There are happy families, and people themselves make them so, ready to fight for their happiness and build it.

Examples

In glossy magazines, programs often talk about couples, whose love could be exemplified.

You have to understand that every family is different. The methods of creating happiness for individuals differ.

One of best examples — elderly couple , who lived for many years together, retained love and fidelity. They have happy children and grandchildren who come to them on holidays, but do not forget on ordinary days. Such a family can say that "we are together no matter what."

Happy couples can also be found among celebrities. One of them - Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel. They have been together for 15 years, raising two wonderful children.

Another famous couple Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith- one of the strongest couples in Hollywood, they have two children, have been married for 14 years, Will does everything to make his wife feel loved.

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell together for about 30 years. Goldie says that the most valuable thing for her is that she feels loved.

Svetlana and Fedor Bondarchuk have been together for 20 years. After so much time, their feelings have not faded away, and they do not hesitate to demonstrate them in public.

Angelica Varum and Leonid Agutin. An amazing couple whose love is noticeable from the outside. Despite the bright and temperamental characters, they love and appreciate each other, and the preservation of the family is important for them.

What is needed for this?

What makes a family happy?

Having an idea of ​​what good family, the question arises: what needs to be done to make her happy?

1. The desire of two people to develop a relationship, them, to get out of crisis situations as painlessly as possible.
2. Children is one of the reasons for happiness. Of course, you can be happy with life without them, but many couples break up due to the fact that one of the partners does not want or cannot have a child.
3. Striving for one goal. If a woman wants children, and a man is more inclined to travel and entertainment, then sooner or later conflicts will arise on this basis.
4. Sexual compatibility. Intimate life is one of the most important in living together. The incompatibility of partners often becomes the cause of betrayal, dissatisfaction with each other.

   Ideally, the need for sex should be approximately the same, or one of the partners makes compromises.

5. Pay no attention to small problems they are not worth it. Quarrels over nonsense destroy harmony, slowly undermine the stone of happiness.
6. Spend time not only together, but also allow each member of the family to have their own hobby, the opportunity to relax alone. Everyone needs personal space.
7. Don't hold back your emotions, do not accumulate them inside especially negative ones. If you are sad, feel angry, talk to your loved ones, tell them what is bothering you. If you feel joy, happiness, love, gratitude, share these emotions as often as possible.

How to diversify family life? find out right now.

Pledge and rules of well-being

By observing the following simple secrets, you will become closer to a sense of family happiness and harmony.

• love your spouse
• respect his values, freedom, desires of a partner and children;
• be able to make compromises for the sake of maintaining happiness and balance;
• well-being, finances - one of the whales on which family life rests. Problems with money affect the feeling of happiness;
• have common interests. Naturally, spouses can have their own hobbies, but there must be something that unites them;
• have common goals;
• look at the upbringing of children the same way;
• upon occurrence problem situations, to have a dialog;
• trust between group members is one of the important points;
• be able to be sincere and tell the truth. Lies come out sooner or later.

How to be a happy wife?

In order for a woman to become happy in family life, it is necessary first of all choose the right man.

You have to work on your happiness. Relationships don't develop on their own.

If you get married, you take on the responsibility of maintaining harmony in the relationship. It is unacceptable to shift responsibility for your actions to others.

Support of loved ones in difficult times- one of the keys to family happiness.

Recipes for family happiness

How to become a happy family?

There are no single recipes, but still there are general principles , tested on many unions.

1. Respect each other. If there is no respect, the family will sooner or later fall apart, it will simply have nothing to hold on to - two people will live nearby, completely disregarding the interests of others.
2. Create family traditions and stick to them.
3. Have a joint holiday. Traveling, weekends outside the city create leisure, unite, allow you to communicate more closely and understand your partner and your children.
4. Support your spouse in difficult times. When a person is having a hard time, has problems at work or is unwell, he needs sympathy and advice from loved ones. Indifference, inability to provide support alienate.
5. Learn to respect children. A child, even a small one, is a person, he needs self-expression, some degree of freedom in actions and thoughts.
6. To instill in children respect for elders.
7. Touch each other. Tactile sensations help to experience intimacy, and touch can express more than words.

Remember that in order for a family to become happy, all its members must strive for this.

Work on relationships, do not let negativity seep into your union, interfere with strangers, and then harmony will accompany you throughout your life together.

7 rules to make your married life happier by Dale Carnegie:

In this article, we will give the answer to one of life's most pressing questions. Agree, no matter how strong and freedom-loving a person is, sooner or later in the life of every healthy individual there is a need to create a family.

For thousands of years, people have created families. This "rite of happiness" is carried out to this day. But what about those who have taken an invisible vow of celibacy, you ask. As you know, there are exceptions to the rules, but we will talk about them in detail another time.

What is family happiness? There can be an incredible number of answers. In order to give a description of all possible options, it will take a lot of time. However, even in this case, there is a possibility of not giving the correct clear answer. All people are different, and everyone has their own family happiness. We'll take a chance and come up with our own theory. You can agree with this point of view or not, it is your right. Remember, everyone has their own truth, but the truth is somewhere nearby. Let's try to get close to it together.

Family happiness is, first of all, the responsibility for physical and emotional security and comfort, divided into two. Usually such people create a strong union, and a stamp appears in the passport of a citizen of a particular country. But this is not at all necessary at present. Now it is enough just to choose a partner well. But how can this be done if there is no single criterion all over the world that can guarantee the correctness of the choice?

It is necessary to pay attention to the partner's ability to surround with sincere and genuine care, which the other partner never demanded or thought about. This comes as a matter of course. To perpetuate and increase family happiness, children are born in the family.

Children are one of the most important and indispensable components happy life. These are absolutely new individuals, in whose veins the blood of a married couple flows. Life is not eternal, but a family line, thanks to the birth of children, can last for thousands of years.

The child in the family helps adults every day to learn to sincerely enjoy life, because everything happens for the first time for him. This gift was once given to all of us by nature, but as we grow up with new information and experience, we forget and lose a lot.

In a happy family wise parents become sensitive observers and teach their children to be happy. In the process of learning the fruit of their love, people expand their comfort zone. Under such conditions, a person will never feel miserable, lonely or completely useless.

Children, despite all their shortcomings and lack of independence, are needed by a happy family. They enable the couple to change their worldview in the right direction, set priorities correctly and see their mistakes, find a way to correct them. If there is harmony in the family, parents will be able to teach the child not to make such embarrassments.

However, do not forget that even the most Small child- it's individuality. There is no need to become complete egoists, to raise children in such a way that they always meet your expectations, because you are not perfect either. Understand what you good advice did not give to their children, they will try to be like their parents. You must follow your recommendations, which you leave to posterity.

With luck, when the parents get old, which, alas, cannot be avoided, the children will take on the role of someone who will take care of them. Just like mom and dad taught a new person to take the first steps in the literal and figurative sense of the word, taught to live, supported in all endeavors. From this we can conclude that children are the key to happy family happiness and confidence in life.