• Our happiness is in children. Their smile, the first knowledge, the first tooth, the first step, joint games, the joy of victory in them ... The kid, running with his little hands open like a chick's, hugs the neck! This little lump is - ALL OUR LIFE!
• If there is no food in the house and the children are crumpled, it means that mom spent the whole day on the Internet!

And you were a child, and you believed in it, Now you are trampled, now you are lost, Not all friends are alive, not all nerves are intact, And the children know everything, and the children believe everything ...

Sister (6 years old) to older brother: “I don’t want to have children! Do you know where they come from? I hate how children are made! And you?" Brother: "And I am pleased."

Small children in an apartment are wonderful: wherever you sit, there will be a cube in the priest ... -

• A sleeping baby is not only cute, but FINALLY!
• Children are the flowers of life. There are three daisies in my bouquet.
• Children are interested in the question: where does everything come from? Adults - where does it go?
• It's good when you are 4 years old. You can take the broken remote control and call your mom ...
• -A baby in the tummy? -Yes -What is he doing there? -Well, he sleeps there. - What if he dumps there? -What do you mean, when little children sleep, they do not poop

In the store today they gave change and the five fell. I say to my son: "Bunny, pick it up, please." Then a man next to him picks it up and gives it to me with the words: "I, of course, not a bunny ...". Maloy is so indignant: "Why did you raise it then?"

A child is a perpetual motion machine, an eternal jumper, runner, jumper, grabber and laughter.

A gentle face, every dash, snub-nosed nose sniffs ... Money, career - all this is unimportant, the important is sleeping side by side.

The teacher is a woman who once believed that she loved children.

My childhood was difficult! Until I was 6, I thought my name was Shut up ...

All children when they were in kindergarten, for anyone at that moment, when there was lunch and they brought porridge, they beat on it with a spoon so that the porridge was flattened on the plate, and it looked beautiful.

Scottish children are more fortunate than their peers from other countries: they can hold on to both mom and dad's skirt.

Previously, children were bought Why Much, so that they would not be bothered with questions, now children are taught to use Yandex.

The most valuable cargo in the world is a toddler in the belly !!!

In Soviet times, Santa Claus took the list of children who misbehaved personally to Stalin.

"The most beautiful in photographs are children"

No two children are alike - especially if one of them is yours.

Girls learn better than boys because they have nothing to put on their studies.

What's the sweetest sweetness in the world? Sugar - I could once answer. Honey, marmalade, marshmallow and sherbet. Only now I understood the answer. The smell of the crown of the head that remains on our pillow, tender fingers and marigolds, ass, knees and elbows ..

Lord, why wasn't I born a boy! She opened the closet that fell out of there and went.

Childhood ended when the phrase "We are indulging in buns here", you begin to giggle meaningfully ...

Sunday. Easter. I walk down the street, the kids run up and congratulate you: Happy Christ has Risen you!

Whatever the child may amuse himself, as long as he does not make his own.

A young daddy is alone at home with a child and sings a lullaby to him: Bayu-bayushki-bayu. Where is your mother? -

how many cool statuses about children we have collected for you on our website. Statuses about children on Vkontakte, statuses about children in classmates! An excellent selection will give you a lot of pleasure! You will definitely find yourself cool status in classmates about children, or maybe you yourself will come up with your own with tatus Vkontakte about children... Give yourself a sea of ​​laughter and fun, add Vkontakte status about children! Your friends will laugh with you at these cool statuses about children in classmates and Vkontakte. Statuses about children designed for any age category. Therefore, even for teenagers, they are an excellent resource for choosing phrases to show off in their account. Just imagine how your friends will have fun if you update the status of acute daily. jokes about parents and children... In addition, after reading more than a dozen statuses, you will nevertheless understand that your parents want all the best for you and therefore sometimes they just have to be strict. Read our statuses constantly and you will notice that parents have already begun to allow doing what was previously prohibited. And all thanks to the fact that you finally understand each other.

Statuses about boys 'children - Boys' mothers know for sure that not "all men are goats" ...

For me, the happiest time is childhood. My childhood little boy from a beloved man.

Two good son I have, Two hopes, two living fires, Time is beating along the great track. I have two youths in reserve, Life burns in me inextinguishable, I have two eternity - two sons!

You really start to worry about your boy only when he, leaving, closes the door behind him completely silently.

The most valuable gift ... was given by fate,
For me it is dearer than silk ... pearls,
This precious gift cannot be taken away
Fate gave me to become a mother twice!

The quieter the child sits in the next room, the more scary it is to go there ...

I'm so lucky with my love. So I look at him, at my handsome, strong and charming boy, and I envy myself.

My children are my wings behind my back.

Children do not appear with the instructions for use.

My son is one of those to whom other people's mothers forbid children to play with him ...

If you don't know what your children are like, look at their friends.

Times have changed so much that boys start dating girls in elementary school.

Nothing can effectively complement the freshly pasted wallpaper in the room like a children's drawing with a felt-tip pen!

Children are joy, children are happiness, children are the sun's rays, the stomp of legs, eyes are radiance and warmth in your chest!

For a child with a hammer - all those around him are nails!

The children were playing war games with water pistols in the courtyard, but suddenly it started to rain and killed everyone.

Nothing paints a sleeping woman like the one sitting next to her Small child with markers!

A little boy broke a vase and, realizing that he would still fly in, sold the TV and started smoking ...

On weekdays, the child you wake up in kindergarten, and on weekends he takes revenge on you for it.

A neighbor's kid challenged me to a fight with water pistols. I just update my status while the water is boiling in the pot.

Children are the flowers of life ... And my mother has a cactus.

I am better friends with boys than girls.

Go and tell your mom that you drank a liter of blood from the teacher!

If a boy loves work, the boy's name is "Dzhamshut"!

Everyone in childhood had a boy with whom we dreamed of getting married. Have children, a home ...

I want a son so that at least one boy grows up as a man.

Previously, children were frightened by Babka-Yozhka, but now they turn off the Internet

Who has not been, he will not know what it is to swing a baby. And inhaling his native smell, squeezing sweetly to yourself. Let fatigue, sleepless nights, we are given to parents from above. Because there is a son or daughter ... because the children need us

My son is just a fine fellow! My favorite little man!

The only man who can successfully command a woman is her son!

Son is my happiness, my pride that will protect me from everyone

Teacher to parents: - All the best, kind, eternal must be invested in children! - Will they be cheated with dividends?

The continuation of our love will forever remain in our children, and then in our grandchildren, and so it will last forever.

“Dad, do you have to raise a lot of money to get married? The son asks his father. “It's hard to calculate, the debts are still hanging,” the father replied.

You can attract the child's attention by talking to someone in front of his or her eyes.

Best status:
Note to her husband: “Take the child out of the kindergarten. Be more attentive, don't take the first one who hits. "

Of course, children are the flowers of life. But the flowers bloom and smell, and the children indulge in and fertilize themselves.

Only children can remain themselves. Growing up, we lose the ability to do what we want and obey the rules and requirements invented by someone, ceasing to be ourselves.

There is no need to teach children anything. They themselves will learn from you.

The children found a hedgehog rolled into a ball. We decided to play football. After getting hurt, one says to the other: “I told you that this is a big thorn, but you screwed it up: a ball, a ball”.

The most expensive necklace that a beloved man can give to a woman is the hands of their common child.

Previously, children were frightened by Babka-Yozhka, but now they turn off the Internet ...)

Never forget that your children, following your example, will treat you the same way you treat your parents now.

Even the pangs of pregnancy, childbirth and other things cannot darken those moments of happiness when you look at this little creature and realize that this is your child!

The most pleasant thing in life is to see your little copy crawling across the carpet smiling and understand how much you love him.

Let's think about our behavior before scolding our children for the behavior. Don't forget they follow our example

Joy for a woman is a child, a man for a woman is often just a weakness. So you will relax one day and you will walk joyfully all your life

When I come home after work, barely dragging my feet and with one desire - to sit on the sofa, my child, who is already on the doorstep, suddenly changes the situation. Immediately the meaning and strength to live appear

Only when you come to the bed where your little baby sleeps, do you really understand what tears of happiness are ...

Wow! I never thought there was such a big difference between Russians and Ukrainians! ...

First-graders happily go to school on September 1 only because their parents carefully hide information about how much they will have to study there.

Two kids talk in kindergarten: - Vov, you know, we have a new nanny. She is young, slender legs, plump lips, narrow waist, and breasts ... - Enough, Misha, she won't fit into the pot.

As you grow older, you realize that the happiest time was when you were a child. It's a pity that I didn't understand it then ...

Once in my childhood I argued with a boy that being a girl is much better than a boy, arguing that I won't have to shave ... Stupid!

A quadruple was born in one family. Neighbors ask their seven-year-old brother: - What were the kids named? - If I understood my dad correctly on the phone - Niha, Yase, Beb, Lyad.

The programmer did not get creative and named the children New Son (1) and New Son (2).

A child smiles for the first time at the age of four weeks. By this time, his eyes are already focused enough to get a good look at your face.

The little boy looks for a long time and attentively at his one-year-old brother, who chatters animatedly in one language he understands, and then asks his mother a question: - Mom, are you sure that he is Russian?

The school introduced a grading system A B C D E. Before the dictation, the teacher says: - Whoever writes poorly will receive an E point! A voice from the rear: - Don't threaten us!

Earlier, kids used to blow bubble and played with toys, and when they matured they blew bubbles from gum and smoked. Now it's the other way around

I look small, five years old, typing something in a search engine. I went up and read: How to quit kindergarten?

The most naive people in the world are porn site admins. They seriously think that when asked "are you already 18?" children answer no and leave their site.

In the kindergarten, cockroaches were brought up and the children were madly afraid of them, roared and screamed. Once, while drawing, the teacher took gouache, caught cockroaches and painted them. The result exceeded all expectations, the children with joyful cries of "Look Skittles is crawling" ran after the cockroaches and crushed them.

Young family with 5 summer son come to see the purchased apartment. The child looks at the empty wall and says: - And here we zhuuyut shelf. The father gives a slap on the head and asks: - Got it? - Understood. - Understood what? - That the shelf is not needed here.

They ask their son in the kindergarten: "What are your parents doing?" - “Dad works, mom is beautiful !!!”))

Children are always interested in "where does this or that come from?"

If there is no food in the house and crumpled children, then mom spent the whole day on the Internet!

13-year-old Lesha was presented with a tear-off erotic calendar for his birthday. A year flew by in 15 minutes.

Children can turn any ideal order, no matter how carefully it was established, into the complete opposite in a couple of minutes.

There are three ways to do something: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, but the best way is to forbid children to do it ...

A young daddy is alone at home with a child and sings a lullaby to him: Bayu-bayushki-bayu. Where is your mother?

In my opinion, all children have one goal - to bring others to ... to bring to anything, the main thing is to bring.

Undressing a sleeping child is like defusing a bomb, one sudden movement minus 4 hours of sleep.

Children in kindergarten are talking: - Are your parents afraid of cartoons? - Not! - And mine are afraid ... As cartoons begin, they put me in front of the TV, and they themselves - in the bedroom ... They crawl under the covers and tremble, tremble, tremble ...

A cheerfully laughing girl was born in the maternity hospital, holding something in her fist! When the doctors opened the cam, they saw the contraceptive pill ...))

Wife to husband: Do you see this man in the photo? Husband: Yes. Wife: Pick him up from kindergarten at 6 pm!

Don't like it when your parents stand behind their backs and read about what are you texting with your friends? Let's see what you do when your kids start using the computer.

I want to return to a carefree childhood, in which the most painful thing could only be an injection with a vaccine, and everything else is nothing ...

If your child asks to make him a birthday present with money, do not hesitate, he has definitely already grown

Once I asked my mom! "Where the babies come from?" She looked at me with a strange look and said “Vanyush you wouldn't know at 40

Children in the kindergarten. - "The stork brought me." - "And they downloaded me from the Internet." - “And our family is not rich. Dad does everything himself.

Today I decided to remember my childhood and jumped into a snowdrift ... who knew that there was a shop?

Daddy, are you awake? The kid is talking to you. I'm here next, in the dark, Mom's belly. I have your nose and eyes, I feel your caresses, My laughter will flow soon, Crying, or rather, but not from grief. And while I'm growing up, you protect Mom. I love you all already. Wait, I will come to you soon!

V happy family the wife thinks that the money comes from the bedside table, the husband thinks that the food is taken from the refrigerator, and the children that they were found in cabbage.

The secret will always be revealed sooner or later. And if children know this secret, then it becomes obvious sooooo quickly.

The son refused to go to bed, I had a little fight (for the sake of appearance), to which he replied: “No, so family life we won't succeed! "

When you say to little children: "Show how you love me ..." - they stand on their toes, hug you with such force that you involuntarily understand - there is nothing stronger than such hugs and such sincere love in the World!

They ask their son in the kindergarten: "What are your parents doing?" - "Dad works, mom is beautiful !!!"

You feed him today breast milk and teach you how to walk, and tomorrow he teaches you how to use a new computer.

The child shouts from the corridor: -Ma-aa-ma! Maaama! Mom! Mother answered: -What are you, shouting? Come and tell me what you want. The son spanks through the whole apartment, comes up and says: -Mom, I’m in th * but stepped on. Where can I wash my sandal?

How unimportant everything around becomes - money, career, envy, clothes, cars ... when a little treasure is quietly sniffing next to you

The biggest sincere love only your child can give you, and not the man who constantly swears his feelings

Mom, Mom! Why everyone calls me a bulldozer ?! - Close your mouth, you will scratch the furniture!

Crimea. Girl and boy on the beach. They are still very small and therefore naked. The girl looks at the boy for a long time and finally says:

Yesterday my son showed me another masterpiece on the wallpaper. When asked where the red paint came from, he said it was ketchup. Today there is a brown drawing on the wall - I'm afraid to ask.

The child, stroking the cat's face, playing, says: “Mussenka, you know, human world women with mustaches are not very much appreciated! "

She made a riddle to her son - either losing weight or getting fat, she was wailing at the whole house (accordion), to which he replied: "It's you mommy."

Honey, I talked to our daughter about love and sex. She's already 15! ”“ And what, dear? ”“ I'm already burning with impatience to try everything that she told me ...

For a child with a hammer - all those around him are nails!

If you are too lazy to do something, and there is no money to hire someone, then just forbid the child to do it. You will see - soon everything will be done.

Do not be surprised at the behavior of children, because they are the result of our imagination!

Tell me, did anyone manage as a child to bring fresh bread home without biting the crust?

Oh, those children! Mine is playing with the cat now and says to her: “Murka, it's good that you are a cat! We, people, don’t like women with mustaches ”.

Best status:
If you want your children to take care of you and treat you well as they grow up, then set an example for them by talking to your parents.

Children are forgiven a lot, so parents can dishonor their children much more than they can!

The upbringing process is always reciprocal: children, for example, teach us to enjoy little things, defend our position and not sit around!

If you want to scold your child for bad behavior, start with yourself! After all, it is from you that he takes an example!

As they grow up, kids start to give preference to freely convertible gifts!

When dealing with a five-year-old child, the main danger is that very soon you begin to speak like a five-year-old yourself. Gene Kerr

Masha ate a plate of porridge in the morning and drank two yoghurts. But her diaper would not be complete without chocolates `Russia` ... (c)

I ask the child a well-known riddle: “It gets fat, then it grows thin, it shouts at the whole house” (the answer is a harmonica). A 5-year-old child answers this riddle without hesitation - “Mama”

As you grow older, you realize that the happiest time was when you were a child. It's a pity that I didn't understand it then

Children are always interested in "where does this or that come from?"

An honest child does not love mom and dad, but cream tubes. Don Aminado

If the child does not feel that your house belongs to him, too, he will make the street his home. Nadine de Rothschild

Nine-year-old Volodya cursed near his mother, who was cleaning the fish. Perhaps this is the only case when a person received a bream as a crucian carp.

The most pleasant thing in life is to see your little copy, which, smiling, crawls on the carpet and understand how much you love her.

Go and tell your mom that you drank a liter of blood from the teacher!

The son refused to go to bed, I had a little fight (for the sake of appearance), to which he replied: "No, we won't be able to have a family life like that!"

Is this heaven? -No, this is childhood, baby ...

Earlier, children blew soap bubbles and played with toys, and when they matured they blew bubbles from gum and smoked. Now it's the other way around

The child is a mirror. Recognize yourself in it.

Children listen most attentively when they are not talking to them.

The most naive people in the world are porn site admins. They seriously think that when asked "are you already 18?" children answer no and leave their site.

Childhood is the time when you think that you are an adult, and adults think that you are a child. And at the same time, everyone is fundamentally mistaken.

Today you breastfeed him and teach him how to walk, and tomorrow he teaches you how to use a new computer.

Once I asked my mom! "Where the babies come from?" She looked at me with a strange look and said “Vanyush you wouldn't know at 40

No matter how much you teach your children good manners, they still naturally tend to imitate their parents.

How unimportant everything around becomes - money, career, envy, clothes, cars ... when a little treasure is quietly sniffing next to you

A gentle face, every dash, snub-nosed nose sniffing ... Money, career - all this is unimportant, important - he sleeps side by side.

They are the same, but their own mother will never confuse them!

A child, stroking a cat on the face, playing, says: "Musenka, you know, in the human world, women with mustaches are not very much appreciated!"

Children are flowers of life! My flower fertilized itself again! ...

What a strange bliss to realize that there, inside, Perfection grows and ripens, My angel, the fruit of my love.

In a happy family, the wife thinks that the money comes from the bedside table, the husband thinks that the food is taken from the refrigerator, and the children think that they were found in cabbage.

The only man I will run after will shout to me: "Catch up, mom!"

Don't like it when your parents stand behind their backs and read about what are you texting with your friends? Let's see what you do when your kids start using the computer.

Crimea. Girl and boy on the beach. They are still very small and therefore naked. The girl looks at the boy for a long time and finally says:

Children can turn any ideal order, no matter how carefully it was established, into the complete opposite in a couple of minutes.

A child is a creature that you carry in yourself for 9 months, in your arms for 3 years, and in your heart until you die yourself.

Children in the kindergarten. - "The stork brought me." - "And they downloaded me from the Internet." - “And our family is not rich. Dad does everything himself.

Children in kindergarten are talking: - Are your parents afraid of cartoons? - Not! - And mine are afraid ... As cartoons begin, they put me in front of the TV, and they themselves - in the bedroom ... They crawl under the covers and tremble, tremble, tremble ...

A little son asks his father: “Dad, dad! How much does it cost to get married? " Dad thought and answered: “You know, son, I still don’t know, because still paying. ”

Daddy, are you awake? The kid is talking to you. I'm here next, in the dark, Mom's belly. I have your nose and eyes, I feel your caresses, My laughter will flow soon, Crying, or rather, but not from grief. And while I'm growing up, you protect Mom. I love you all already. Wait, I will come to you soon!

Wife to husband: Do you see this man in the photo? Husband: Yes. Wife: Pick him up from kindergarten at 6 pm!

Yesterday my son showed me another masterpiece on the wallpaper. When asked where the red paint came from, he said it was ketchup. Today there is a brown drawing on the wall - I'm afraid to ask.

Think before you do a bad deed. You have a child behind you who thinks that you are a hero to him!

You can only give birth to an ideal man yourself ...

When I come home after work, barely dragging my feet and with one desire - to sit on the sofa, my child, who is already on the doorstep, suddenly changes the situation. Immediately the meaning and strength to live appear

13-year-old Lesha was presented with a tear-off erotic calendar for his birthday. A year flew by in 15 minutes.

Only when you come to the bed where your little baby sleeps, do you really understand what tears of happiness are ...

Undressing a sleeping child is like defusing a bomb, one sudden movement minus 4 hours of sleep.

Teacher to parents: - Your children are like flowers in spring! -Oh, thanks! ... -Dispersed, bastards!

Once in my childhood I argued with a boy that being a girl is much better than a boy, arguing that I won't have to shave ... Stupid!

Never forget that your children, following your example, will treat you the same way you treat your parents now.

If there is no food in the house and crumpled children, then mom spent the whole day on the Internet!

If your child asks to make him a birthday present with money, do not hesitate, he has definitely already grown

Honey, I talked to our daughter about love and sex. She's already 15! ”“ And what, dear? ”“ I'm already burning with impatience to try everything that she told me ...

A child smiles for the first time at the age of four weeks. By this time, his eyes are already focused enough to get a good look at your face.

Only children know what they want. They eat with their hands because it's so much fun. They paint on the wallpaper, making their room special. They don't want to be like everyone else. They do the most difficult thing - they remain themselves.

In my opinion, all children have one goal - to bring others to ... to bring to anything, the main thing is to bring.

A child's happiness is measured in the size of a toy ...?

First-graders happily go to school on September 1 only because their parents carefully hide information about how much they will have to study there.

A cheerfully laughing girl was born in the maternity hospital, holding something in her fist! When the doctors opened the cam, they saw the contraceptive pill ...))

A quadruple was born in one family. Neighbors ask their seven-year-old brother: - What were the kids named? - If I understood my dad correctly on the phone - Niha, Yase, Beb, Lyad.

If a man has a son, he becomes a father ... And if a daughter is born to him, he becomes a dad)

I look small, five years old, typing something in a search engine. I went up and read: How to quit kindergarten?

When you say to little children: "Show how you love me ..." - they stand on their toes, hug you with such force that you involuntarily understand - there is nothing stronger than such hugs and such sincere love in the World!

For a child with a hammer - all those around him are nails!

She made a riddle to her son - either losing weight or getting fat, she was wailing at the whole house (accordion), to which he replied: "It's you mommy."

Our love with you will not end after death, she will live on, in our children, grandchildren ... She will never die

The child shouts from the corridor: -Ma-aa-ma! Maaama! Mom! Mother answered: -What are you, shouting? Come and tell me what you want. The son spanks through the whole apartment, comes up and says: -Mom, I’m in th * but stepped on. Where can I wash my sandal?

A young daddy is alone at home with a child and sings a lullaby to him: Bayu-bayushki-bayu. Where is your mother?

Previously, children were frightened by Babka-Yozhka, but now they turn off the Internet ...)

Two kids talk in kindergarten: - Vov, you know, we have a new nanny. She is young, slender legs, plump lips, narrow waist, and breasts ... - Enough, Misha, she won't fit into the pot.

If a woman has a man whom she loves more than life ... then this man is her son!

A young family with a 5-year-old son comes to see the purchased apartment. The child looks at the empty wall and says: - And here we zhuuyut shelf. The father gives a slap on the head and asks: - Got it? - Understood. - Understood what? - That the shelf is not needed here.

In the kindergarten, cockroaches were brought up and the children were madly afraid of them, roared and screamed. Once, while drawing, the teacher took gouache, caught cockroaches and painted them. The result exceeded all expectations, the children with joyful cries of "Look Skittles is crawling" ran after the cockroaches and crushed them.

The little boy looks for a long time and attentively at his one-year-old brother, who chatters animatedly in one language he understands, and then asks his mother a question: - Mom, are you sure that he is Russian?

Your child needs your love the most when he least deserves it.