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How to leave a child alone at home and not worry. Preparing children and safety rules. Alone at home: when to leave a child alone Is it possible to leave a child at home

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It is difficult to decide to leave home alone, even for a short time, even the most sensible and obedient child. We asked the psychologist and educator how to prepare the child for the fact that he will periodically have to stay alone at home, and at what age this can be done.

Alexander Pokryshkin

child psychologist

It is necessary to take into account not so much the age of the child as his real capabilities. It is important to understand that he will be able to safely and comfortably spend time alone. In order to stay at home without adults, he must be sufficiently oriented in the surrounding space to provide himself with everything necessary (play, eat, and so on) and at the same time perform only safe actions.

A separate issue is the knowledge of who can open the door and who cannot, the ability to use the phone to contact you if necessary. The second condition is psychological autonomy.

Will he be calm alone while you are not around? Does he easily let you go to the store, even when another adult is at home? How does he even feel about the news that he can stay at home alone? If you can answer all these questions positively and are sure that the child has all the necessary knowledge and skills, then you can safely move from reasoning to experiment.

Olga Egorova

educator

It is believed that children under seven years of age should not be left at home without adults. There is no legislative prohibition in Russia, so the measure here is common sense. It is useless to take an example from past generations. Our grandmothers and mothers early age left the children alone, because often there was simply no other way out. As a result, many people, even in adulthood, are subconsciously afraid of being alone. We have the opportunity not to lead to such consequences and carefully prepare our children for independence.

Circumstances are different, but in no case should a child be left alone forcibly if he cries, is afraid, asks you not to leave. The child must give his consent to be alone for some, albeit a very short time. Be sure to tell your child about the purpose and reason for your trip, accurately indicate the time when you will return.

Talk about safety rules - about not opening the door for anyone, for example. But it’s not worth checking the child’s vigilance and ringing the doorbell, waiting for his reaction. If you do not trust, it is better not to leave one.

Even if you understand that your child is mentally prepared, do not rush things. Let him start by rehearsing his independence in your conditional presence. Can you retire to another room, leaving him alone for half an hour? Will he occupy himself at this time so as not to contact you? Such small workouts will mentally prepare the child for the fact that sometimes you will have to be alone at home.

Probably all parents have been in a situation where they had to suddenly leave home, leaving the child in proud loneliness. Only someone leaves with a calm soul, being confident in his independence, while others are full of doubts, even if a schoolboy is waiting at home. So when can a child be alone in an apartment? How can he be prepared for such an important event?

It is impossible to give a clear answer to these questions: one child and at the age of four can already occupy himself in for a long time, and the other, even at the age of ten, is not able to remain unattended by adults even for half an hour. But if you do not want to take care of your children all your life, you need to give them at least a little independence in time.

Little children should not be left alone, even for a very short period of time. a short time. In infants and toddlers up to three years a different sense of time than adults. An hour is very little for a mother, but for a baby it lasts an eternity, and even this short absence of yours can lead to trouble. And it is better to start from the age of 6, when children want to feel independent. Remember, the longer you control any step of the child, the more he wants to be left alone in order to violate any of your prohibitions.

How do you know if your child is ready to be left alone at home?

The answers to the following questions will help you understand if your children are independent enough to leave them alone at home for a while.

  1. Do you have neighbors or close friends who can help your child in an emergency?
  2. Does he keep calm difficult situations or tend to react emotionally?
  3. Is he used to following the rules set in the house?
  4. Is he doing his household chores well?
  5. Does he know how to behave correctly and, most importantly, safely at home?
  6. Does he respond appropriately to strangers?

Answering yes to all questions increases the likelihood that the child can be alone at home, at least for a short time. However, in this decision, rely on intuition and maternal instinct.

How to prepare a child?

Prepare your child ahead of time. And start with before school age. From about 4-5 years old, leave the baby alone in the nursery for 20 minutes, trying not to "follow" him. When doing joint exercises, give him maximum freedom so that he gets used to freedom and can occupy himself. If the kid is able to choose an activity to his liking, then parents do not have to worry that instead of playing, he will prefer a dangerous activity.

Start small. First, leave the child at home for 15 minutes while walking the dog or running out to the store. When you get home, try not to scold your child for making a mess. After all, having acquired an apartment for sole use, children will definitely try to imitate adults. So there is a chance, for example, to find your makeup on your daughter's face.

Repeat the rules. Make sure your child knows exactly what they can and cannot do when you are not at home. For example, he can watch TV, read a book, play with dolls or cars. Try to set a minimum of prohibitions, but they should be absolute:

  • You can not open the door to anyone, even if they are familiar people. Explain that all family members have keys to the apartment.
  • You can’t tell strangers on the phone that he is now alone at home, and adults will come only in a couple of hours. Teach him to respond something like this: “The parents are busy now and cannot answer the phone. Please call back in two hours." By the way, in this case, you don’t even have to teach your child to cheat. Consider turning off your home phone altogether before you leave?
  • Do not go near windows and balconies. Do not open large windows before leaving, even if it is hot outside. Limit yourself to small windows. It is better to equip windows with latches, which only adults can open.
  • Do not play with electrical appliances: hair dryer, vacuum cleaner, washing machine.

Prepare for emergencies. The child must learn how to behave in a possible emergency. Make sure that emergency numbers are written down in a visible place, and also prepare concise instructions on how to answer questions from their operators. Also, check if the child knows their number. mobile phone and numbers of other adults to contact. If the child still does not know numbers well, set up shortcut buttons in his mobile.

Play scenarios. Discuss and act out possible scenarios: the electricity went out in the apartment; the child smelled smoke; he is hungry and wants to warm up breakfast; a stranger knocks on the door; someone called and asks you to answer the phone. Discuss in an unobtrusive way so as not to instill in children the fear of being alone in an apartment where there are so many scary things.

Try to arrive on time. It is very important for parents to given promise and return home on time. Let's say you said that you would come home at 17.00, which means that you need to return exactly at five o'clock in the evening and not a minute later. Firstly, children of primary school age have fears for the lives of their relatives and friends. Secondly, your accuracy will become good example, and already the child will return on time from a walk in the future.

When should a child not be left alone at home?

  1. He is sick. If there are no adults around, fever, vomiting, suffocation can be life-threatening.
  2. He has attacks of chronic illness (epilepsy, asthma, etc.).
  3. If this is a child with “special needs” (for example, autistic) and in the event of an emergency, he will not be able to ask for help.
  4. He is too inquisitive (or even mischievous) and is able to turn the whole apartment upside down in a very short time. Leaving it at home even for twenty minutes, you run the risk of finding a disassembled computer and a trimmed cat.
  5. He is too trusting. Such a child can easily open the door to a stranger if he introduces himself as a policeman or an acquaintance of his mother or father.
  6. He is very shy and overly impressionable, can easily fall into a panic state due to a natural phenomenon (thunderstorm) or an emergency (power outage).

Staying alone at home, children gain a very valuable experience and learn to be independent: to occupy themselves, not be afraid to be alone and plan their own time correctly. All these necessary qualities they will definitely need adulthood. However, you need to teach your child all the necessary safety measures to leave him alone with peace of mind.


At some point, parents face the question: is it possible to leave a child alone at home, and at what age should one begin to instill independence in their beloved child? The opinion of psychologists is unanimous - there is no specific age - there is psychological maturity.

At what age can you legally leave a child at home alone?

Many parents ask at what age to leave a child alone. However, the law is harsh! In many countries, including ours, it is forbidden to leave children under 14 years old unattended by parents, teachers or responsible persons. This means that if something happens to a child in the absence of adults in the house or apartment where he lives permanently, then, according to the letter of the law, the incident will be considered the result of parental negligence, and not just an accident.

How do you know if you can already leave one?

It is not enough to write multi-volume instructions and read many hours of lectures - it is important to make sure that the child is able to behave safely, and the environment excludes a potential threat to the baby's life.

How to understand that it is already possible to leave a child at home alone? Child psychologists offer to observe the child for some time and pay attention to how he behaves in standard situations:

  • whether he is trying to attract attention to himself by playing on his own;
  • whether he starts looking for an adult if you are not in his field of vision;
  • does he get nervous if the door is closed in the room;
  • can the child organize himself independently: brush his teeth, wash the dishes, clean the room, make the bed;
  • Are you afraid to fall asleep with the lights off?

Why is it dangerous to leave a child at home alone?

Parents should know up to what age a child should not be left alone. Most likely, the question of at what age a child can be left alone interested you not in the context of potential administrative or criminal liability, but in connection with the desire to take care of your baby. So let's start by figuring out why this is an important question in principle.

You have probably noticed that as soon as you turn away, your child already finds new fun for himself. Moreover, in the best case, it can be associated with damage to property, and in the worst case, with the emergence of a threat to his health or life. Even in a neat apartment with relatively safe appliances, there are many potential sources of danger. Open outlets and weak screens on the windows, heavy objects on the top shelves of cabinets, even light bulbs in chandeliers and an ordinary bathtub. And if you think that your child will never and never think of taking a full bath of water and playing submarine in it, creating the danger of drowning, then do not promise.

You must understand that children live in their own world, which is quite strikingly different from our adult world. And this continues for a long time (in fact, until the child himself grows into a relatively adult person). He has a well-developed imagination and fantasy, and he may well come up with an occupation for which you will not find any logical explanation. And he will do this not to make you angry, not to spoil something, but simply because he perceives the world that way.

How to protect a child left alone at home?


If you take care of all of the above, you can leave the child at home alone relatively calmly.

How to prepare children?

If, as a result of observations, you came to the conclusion that some points are far from perfect, it means it's time to instill them.

How to do it? Psychologists recommend starting the process as early as the age of five, gradually giving the child more freedom. Let the baby play alone in the room, while you yourself are somewhere nearby. This will give him a sense of security. At the age of five, it's time to teach your child to do household chores: ask your baby to help set the table, cut bread, pour milk for yourself.

Experts say that a child should know and remember about prohibitions - this is a game with a lighter, matches and electrical appliances. Just in case, it is worth removing dangerous objects from easily accessible places - knives, scissors. Keep drugs and alcohol away. Suddenly, the thought of trying what adults drink there will cross into the mischievous head?

Teach your child how to use the phone, let him learn your number by heart. After making sure that the material is learned and successfully applied in practice, ask the baby the main question: does he want to stay at home alone? If you hear an affirmative answer, do not rush to run away from home for a long time, start with short time intervals, each time increasing the time of absence.

Most the best way before you leave your child alone at home for the first or second time, give him a long-awaited gift: a transformer toy, a favorite coloring book, a box of plasticine, a book with bright pictures. And then the busy new thing the baby will not be able to play pranks!

Parents cannot always be near their child, and grandmothers are not always free to pay attention to their grandson or granddaughter. As a result, the question arises whether it is possible to leave a child alone, and if so, under what circumstances it is permissible.

I will say right away that I was very afraid when I left my daughter at home alone, but there was no other way out. My friends on this issue even consulted with psychologists, discussed at what age it is worth starting to instill independence in a child. Surprisingly, it turned out that age is completely irrelevant here. The main thing is that the child is psychologically mature.

However, the law looks at this matter a little differently and firmly defines the age limits that allow you to leave the baby at home alone or forbid it. Since this issue torments many parents, let's discuss how the legislation relates to it in the presented article.

The law is very strict in regulating this issue. In many countries, including ours, children must be supervised by adults until the age of 14. It is not necessarily only about parents, it can be teachers, educators, other responsible persons.

If something happens to the child in the house or apartment where he permanently lives in the absence of an adult representative, then the law will consider this case under the article on parental negligence. It is unlikely that the situation can be regarded as an accident.

What are the signs that a child can be left at home alone?

There are many instructions and theoretical calculations that determine what signs indicate that a child is able to stay at home alone. It is about getting some guarantees of safety for the baby and the environment. Psychologists working with children point out that there are several signs in their behavior that indicate whether it is okay to leave a baby at home alone. These are the following situations:

  • the child plays independently and does not constantly try to attract the attention of an adult;
  • if mom or dad is not within sight, the baby does not begin to look for them with a glance, but continues to go about his business;
  • does not get nervous if the door to the room is closed;
  • the child is able to independently brush his teeth, wash the dishes and tidy up the room;
  • the baby is not afraid to sleep with the lights off.

When completely different manifestations are observed, then it is worth delaying leaving the child at home alone. This can lead to unpleasant and even sad consequences.

Reasons why it is dangerous to leave a child at home alone?

Parents should be aware of how the law determines the age at which a child can be left alone at home. However, there are also personal circumstances, taking into account which such a step is not recommended. The main thing is that an insufficiently adult and mature child will not be able to take care of himself on his own.

The second problem is the restlessness of the baby. Especially active children tend to constantly make noise, do not sit still, indulge. This often leads to damage to property, and under certain circumstances, it can cause a threat to life and health. Even in a comfortable apartment, where all the sockets are hidden and the appliances are fixed, there is always something to fall or catch fire. If you think your child is capable of taking a bath, turning on the faucet and having a sweat, then better at home don't leave him alone.

There are many ways to get hurt even in a cozy city apartment and in just five minutes, so when you go to the store on the next street, take your baby with you and don't start experimenting until you're ready for it.

How to ensure the safety of the child at home?

Experienced parents and psychologists offer to provide a calm, safe environment for the child at home in order to be able to leave him alone.

In fact, there is nothing difficult about this, but for some time not upgrading the home, it will take:

  1. You will need to remove away all things that pose a danger. We are talking about piercing and cutting objects, matches, medicines. Do this without the presence of the baby.
  2. Close balconies and windows. The child does not always understand that you cannot rely on the net, otherwise you will fall.
  3. It is important to pay attention to teaching the child how to use a gas stove, kettle or TV. In the future, this will come in handy, and parents will be calmer, knowing that the child can warm tea for himself without complications.
  4. Check if the child has the necessary amount of food, and the child knows where food and drink are located.
  5. Clearly explain to the child what exactly can and cannot be done while the parents are away.

All of these tips will ensure the safety of the child, and peace of mind for parents during periods when their baby will be left at home alone.

Conclusion

You can conclude the presented material with the following conclusions:

  1. According to the law of the Russian Federation, it is possible to leave a child at home alone from the age of 8, but for a short period of time. Until this age, the child cannot be alone, because he is not able to take care of his own safety.
  2. In fact, custody of a child is provided by his legal representative or other authorized persons until the age of 14.
  3. To understand how ready your child is to be left at home alone, it is worth watching him and paying attention to the signs present.

Teaching kids to be independent is an important aspect of parenting. At the same time, independence is not only the ability to make a bed or brush your teeth. This also includes the opportunity to leave the child at home alone for a while.

Sooner or later, a situation arises when it is necessary to leave the apartment for a while, leaving the baby alone. But most prudent parents worry about this.

And this is right, because it is not known how the child will behave, and what can happen in the absence of parents. Mom must be completely sure that the baby is ready. But even in this case, it is necessary to prepare him psychologically and instruct him in advance.

How to understand if a child is ready to be alone

There is no specific age when a baby can be left alone in an apartment. In some countries, it is completely forbidden to do this until the child is 10-12 years old. In any case, all responsibility for emergencies falls on the parents. Therefore, before leaving the apartment, you should make sure that the baby is really ready to be alone for some time.

The child is ready to stay at home alone if the following questions can be answered in the affirmative:

  • can call one of the parents, call 112 and describe the situation;
  • can play without the help of parents for at least an hour;
  • does not feel fear;
  • clearly knows and follows the schedule of his day;
  • strictly obeys parents and does not use prohibited items.

If all this can be said about the baby, it is worth trying to leave him at home alone. But it is important to understand that you should not leave a child under the age of 5-6 years. Beforehand, it is necessary to tell the child how he should act in case of dangerous situations.

home security

Of course, it is difficult to foresee all the emergencies that can happen in the absence of parents. But still, it is necessary to convey to the baby the basic rules that he must adhere to. If the child clearly knows how to act in a given situation, this can sometimes even save him. After all terrible tragedies When the kids are home alone, more and more happens every year. The kid needs to know how to behave if something unexpected happens.

Fire

In the event of a fire, the baby will almost certainly panic. In this state, it is very difficult for him to understand how to act. Most likely, the baby will remain sitting in the room, so it is very important to give a clear plan of action.

A child left alone in an apartment must have a connection with the outside world - telephone, skype, internet. In each case, it is necessary to teach him to use the benefits of civilization. Today, in the age of gadgets, even four-year-olds know what to do with their phones and laptops.

It is necessary to convey to the baby that in the event of a fire, he must dial 112 and report the situation. You should also immediately leave the apartment using the stairs. The kid will have to knock on the neighboring apartments, where adults can help him and take control of the situation. It is best if a poster with the emergency number hangs in a conspicuous place so that the baby immediately remembers the mother's instructions.

Window

This is especially true if the apartment is located on the upper floors. Most houses have plastic double-glazed windows that open easily and give maximum space. How to know how the baby will behave. It is quite possible that he will want to see how a paper airplane plans from a great height and substitute a chair to the window. One wrong move and the baby will fly down.

Therefore, it is extremely important to secure windows. They must be tightly closed. In addition, it is worth purchasing special devices for each window - protection from children. Now on sale there are a lot of varieties of such blockers. This will eliminate the risk of falling out of the window.


Door

The child can be left at home, giving him the opportunity to get out of the apartment on his own. However, at the same time, the baby must understand that opening the door strangers absolutely impossible.

He must learn another rule: it is also forbidden to say that parents are not at home. It’s better to say that mom is sleeping and can’t come up now, or she went for a walk with the dog. You can open only very well known people.

If a stranger persistently continues to call, not intending to leave, the baby should use the help of the police. It is necessary to call the mother and the 112 service so that the competent authorities take action.

The child should know all these actions even if it is not planned to leave him at home alone. This is a natural measure, part of the upbringing that parents are obliged to give.


Psychological comfort

A very important part of independence. You can leave the baby at home alone only if he himself wants it. It is important to talk with the child on this topic, to know his opinion in advance.

If it turns out that he has phobias, for example, he is afraid of the dark or monsters under the bed, he should not be left alone. This will hit the psyche, and in the future there will not be an opportunity to leave the apartment for a very long time.

Even if the baby agrees to be left alone, this does not mean that he will not panic in the absence of parents. All the rules fly out of my head, the baby will be tense all this time. To avoid this, you should remind him as often as possible that his mother will soon be gone for a couple of hours. This will help mentally prepare the baby and give him the opportunity to realize the state of affairs.


If you need to leave the apartment for a while, you need to follow some recommendations:

  • Teach your child to tell time. You should show the child on the dial the estimated time of the mother's return home. So it will be easier for him to come to terms with her absence.
  • Think of an occupation. Now it's easy, you can give your kid a phone with an exciting game, turn on cartoons, give a TV remote control, show how to use a laptop.
  • Leave the keys to the apartment for the baby or ask him to close the latch. A locked apartment and the inability to get out can lead to very sad consequences.