How to leave a child alone at home and not worry. Preparing children and safety rules. Alone at home: when to leave a child alone Is it possible to leave a child at home
It is difficult to decide to leave home alone, even for a short time, even the most sensible and obedient child. We asked the psychologist and educator how to prepare the child for the fact that he will periodically have to stay alone at home, and at what age this can be done.
Alexander Pokryshkin
It is necessary to take into account not so much the age of the child as his real capabilities. It is important to understand that he will be able to safely and comfortably spend time alone. In order to stay at home without adults, he must be sufficiently oriented in the surrounding space to provide himself with everything necessary (play, eat, and so on) and at the same time perform only safe actions.
A separate issue is the knowledge of who can open the door and who cannot, the ability to use the phone to contact you if necessary. The second condition is psychological autonomy.
Will he be calm alone while you are not around? Does he easily let you go to the store, even when another adult is at home? How does he even feel about the news that he can stay at home alone? If you can answer all these questions positively and are sure that the child has all the necessary knowledge and skills, then you can safely move from reasoning to experiment.
Olga Egorova
educator
It is believed that children under seven years of age should not be left at home without adults. There is no legislative prohibition in Russia, so the measure here is common sense. It is useless to take an example from past generations. Our grandmothers and mothers early age left the children alone, because often there was simply no other way out. As a result, many people, even in adulthood, are subconsciously afraid of being alone. We have the opportunity not to lead to such consequences and carefully prepare our children for independence.
Circumstances are different, but in no case should a child be left alone forcibly if he cries, is afraid, asks you not to leave. The child must give his consent to be alone for some, albeit a very short time. Be sure to tell your child about the purpose and reason for your trip, accurately indicate the time when you will return.
Talk about safety rules - about not opening the door for anyone, for example. But it’s not worth checking the child’s vigilance and ringing the doorbell, waiting for his reaction. If you do not trust, it is better not to leave one.
Even if you understand that your child is mentally prepared, do not rush things. Let him start by rehearsing his independence in your conditional presence. Can you retire to another room, leaving him alone for half an hour? Will he occupy himself at this time so as not to contact you? Such small workouts will mentally prepare the child for the fact that sometimes you will have to be alone at home.
Probably all parents have been in a situation where they had to suddenly leave home, leaving the child in proud loneliness. Only someone leaves with a calm soul, being confident in his independence, while others are full of doubts, even if a schoolboy is waiting at home. So when can a child be alone in an apartment? How can he be prepared for such an important event?
It is impossible to give a clear answer to these questions: one child and at the age of four can already occupy himself in for a long time, and the other, even at the age of ten, is not able to remain unattended by adults even for half an hour. But if you do not want to take care of your children all your life, you need to give them at least a little independence in time.
Little children should not be left alone, even for a very short period of time. a short time. In infants and toddlers up to three years a different sense of time than adults. An hour is very little for a mother, but for a baby it lasts an eternity, and even this short absence of yours can lead to trouble. And it is better to start from the age of 6, when children want to feel independent. Remember, the longer you control any step of the child, the more he wants to be left alone in order to violate any of your prohibitions.
How do you know if your child is ready to be left alone at home?
The answers to the following questions will help you understand if your children are independent enough to leave them alone at home for a while.
- Do you have neighbors or close friends who can help your child in an emergency?
- Does he keep calm difficult situations or tend to react emotionally?
- Is he used to following the rules set in the house?
- Is he doing his household chores well?
- Does he know how to behave correctly and, most importantly, safely at home?
- Does he respond appropriately to strangers?
Answering yes to all questions increases the likelihood that the child can be alone at home, at least for a short time. However, in this decision, rely on intuition and maternal instinct.
How to prepare a child?
Prepare your child ahead of time. And start with before school age. From about 4-5 years old, leave the baby alone in the nursery for 20 minutes, trying not to "follow" him. When doing joint exercises, give him maximum freedom so that he gets used to freedom and can occupy himself. If the kid is able to choose an activity to his liking, then parents do not have to worry that instead of playing, he will prefer a dangerous activity.
Start small. First, leave the child at home for 15 minutes while walking the dog or running out to the store. When you get home, try not to scold your child for making a mess. After all, having acquired an apartment for sole use, children will definitely try to imitate adults. So there is a chance, for example, to find your makeup on your daughter's face.
Repeat the rules. Make sure your child knows exactly what they can and cannot do when you are not at home. For example, he can watch TV, read a book, play with dolls or cars. Try to set a minimum of prohibitions, but they should be absolute:
- You can not open the door to anyone, even if they are familiar people. Explain that all family members have keys to the apartment.
- You can’t tell strangers on the phone that he is now alone at home, and adults will come only in a couple of hours. Teach him to respond something like this: “The parents are busy now and cannot answer the phone. Please call back in two hours." By the way, in this case, you don’t even have to teach your child to cheat. Consider turning off your home phone altogether before you leave?
- Do not go near windows and balconies. Do not open large windows before leaving, even if it is hot outside. Limit yourself to small windows. It is better to equip windows with latches, which only adults can open.
- Do not play with electrical appliances: hair dryer, vacuum cleaner, washing machine.
Prepare for emergencies. The child must learn how to behave in a possible emergency. Make sure that emergency numbers are written down in a visible place, and also prepare concise instructions on how to answer questions from their operators. Also, check if the child knows their number. mobile phone and numbers of other adults to contact. If the child still does not know numbers well, set up shortcut buttons in his mobile.
Play scenarios. Discuss and act out possible scenarios: the electricity went out in the apartment; the child smelled smoke; he is hungry and wants to warm up breakfast; a stranger knocks on the door; someone called and asks you to answer the phone. Discuss in an unobtrusive way so as not to instill in children the fear of being alone in an apartment where there are so many scary things.
Try to arrive on time. It is very important for parents to given promise and return home on time. Let's say you said that you would come home at 17.00, which means that you need to return exactly at five o'clock in the evening and not a minute later. Firstly, children of primary school age have fears for the lives of their relatives and friends. Secondly, your accuracy will become good example, and already the child will return on time from a walk in the future.
When should a child not be left alone at home?
- He is sick. If there are no adults around, fever, vomiting, suffocation can be life-threatening.
- He has attacks of chronic illness (epilepsy, asthma, etc.).
- If this is a child with “special needs” (for example, autistic) and in the event of an emergency, he will not be able to ask for help.
- He is too inquisitive (or even mischievous) and is able to turn the whole apartment upside down in a very short time. Leaving it at home even for twenty minutes, you run the risk of finding a disassembled computer and a trimmed cat.
- He is too trusting. Such a child can easily open the door to a stranger if he introduces himself as a policeman or an acquaintance of his mother or father.
- He is very shy and overly impressionable, can easily fall into a panic state due to a natural phenomenon (thunderstorm) or an emergency (power outage).
Staying alone at home, children gain a very valuable experience and learn to be independent: to occupy themselves, not be afraid to be alone and plan their own time correctly. All these necessary qualities they will definitely need adulthood. However, you need to teach your child all the necessary safety measures to leave him alone with peace of mind.
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