Especially for readers of "Popular about Health" I will consider what to do if ex-husband does not want to help the child financially. There are situations when, during a divorce, the ex-spouse does not at all show any financial participation in the life of his former family, that is, he does not give money for the maintenance of his child.

Of course, such an attitude of a husband towards a child is unacceptable. Any father, if he loves his child, regardless of the fact that he does not live under the same roof with him, will provide all possible assistance to the baby. But, this does not always happen, there are such dads who completely forget about the children when they leave the family. And it's terrible, to be honest!

But in this situation, a woman should not despair, since she will have a law on her side that will oblige her to pay child support to her ex-husband through the court. Here the main thing is for a woman to apply in time with this request to the judicial authorities.

As you know, divorce statistics in our time are not encouraging, about every fourth couple gets divorced, as a result, either the wife or the husband leaves the family and the children remain with one of the parents. The family is now considered incomplete. Of course, there can be many reasons that led to a break in relations: this is a misunderstanding of each other; ordinary adultery can lead to divorce; did not agree on the characters and so on.

How difficult it is sometimes for a single mother in this situation when she is left alone with her problems. After all, not only the daily care of children now falls on her shoulders, but also the financial issue will now completely depend on her, she will have to somehow get out of this situation ...

The moment that a woman is left alone with a baby is already a difficult fact in itself, in addition, her state of mind is also undermined, and here also the problems of the material level join, which must be solved as soon as possible. It is good if the father of the children does not forget about his duties and is always financially ready to help his former family. But when, on the contrary, the former does not help financially, then this is a disaster.

It’s good when a mother can earn enough and she can solve all financial problems on her own without the help of her husband’s money. But, unfortunately, not all ladies can earn well, so many ask for help from relatives and friends, get into debt, take out a loan or simply borrow money from friends and so on.

What to do if your ex doesn't pay child support?

Women who believe in rituals can conduct one of them, which will help in a situation when the ex does not give money. To do this, they take a photo of the debtor, while the person in the photo should not smile. In addition, a green candle is required, it is lit and a photo is placed directly in front of it and a strand of hair is scorched (for this, a lock of the child’s hair is cut in advance, whom the father does not help). Completely the hair should not be burned, only singed.

The mother holds the scorched strand in her hand, always looks at the photo of the debtor and reads the conspiracy twice: I ask Jesus Christ and the grieving Mother of God The servant of God (name of the man) take the wrong money And give the child into the arms. Key, Lock, Language. Amen, amen, amen. Then the hair is burned to the ground, and the candle must burn out completely.

Communication with the former spouse is usually kept to a minimum, except for questions about the child. At the same time, the father must communicate with him, meet - fulfill his paternal duty and, of course, help him financially. When the ex-husband is ready for something for the child, he comes to him, the wife should not prevent them from talking. She can stay in another room, of course, say hello and goodbye is necessary, but no more.

You should not ask about your personal life. Be gentle and detached at the same time. Yes, and the child should be taught so that he does not tell his father anything about his mother’s personal life. Dad comes to the baby for communication and to provide financial assistance.

Discuss with the former the material side, that is, what you need to buy a child, or simply ask for a certain amount and purchase the necessary things yourself. It is not at all necessary to force the husband to go and buy some things, you can do it yourself, the main thing is that he gives the necessary money.

Of course, it is optimal to formalize all money conversations legally during a divorce, that is, to file for alimony. If the mother did not foresee this initially, then she may not get the due amount from her faithful. Therefore, it is important to address the issue of financial assistance in a timely manner.

By law, in accordance with the Family Code adopted in the Russian Federation, parents are required to support minor children. The order and form of such content is independently determined by the parents. If they do not provide maintenance for the children, then the state collects alimony from them in judicial order.

In the absence of an agreement on the payment of alimony, they are collected by the court monthly for one child - in the amount of one quarter of the salary, for two - one third, for three or more - half of the salary.

In addition, spouses must financially support each other. In case of refusal of support and the absence of an agreement on the payment of alimony, the needy disabled spouse has the right to demand their provision in court; pregnant wife; spouse within three years from the date of the appearance of a common child.

If about money ex-wife if mutual understanding is not reached, then, accordingly, the ex-husband will help the children through the court, paying alimony. A woman should not forget about this, and if her husband does not care financially, it is worth suing him, after which a certain amount will be collected from him in court, which will be transferred to the child.

Tatyana, www.site

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Relationships between fathers and children can be very complex. Oftentimes, dads are not as close to their children as moms are.

And the wives, in turn, are unhappy with how father takes part in the upbringing child.

What to do in such a situation? How to get a man to spend more time with his child?

Does postpartum depression occur in men? find out right now.

Causes of male behavior

Why is the husband not interested in the child and does not help in the upbringing?

It is known that men and women completely different perception of birth own children.

Even if the father is the most caring and gets along well with the child, he still does not do it the way the mother does it.

The father usually does not seek to once again take his child in his arms, read to him, go somewhere together, and so on. He rarely take the initiative.

Unfortunately, there are very few women who are satisfied with the way the husband takes part in the upbringing of the child. Often it is the lack of action on the part of the pope that causes serious ones.

It is worth noting that it is by nature that men are less adapted to care. They have low levels of prolactin, which is called the “hormone of care.”

With the advent of the child, the level rises slightly, but it's still not enough in order to take care of the child the way a mother does.

As unfortunate as it may sound, but better not to hope that the husband will devote all his time to the child and jump around him with toys.

Men and women, in principle, relate to children differently and perceive them differently.

Statistics says that only 33% of men want to become a father consciously, 67% experience when they begin to understand that they will soon have a child.

Most men express their fatherly feelings at a more mature age. As they get older, they begin to regret that they spent little time with their children in childhood, that they did not take care of them in the way that was necessary.

What if the husband?

When a husband devotes little time to a child, wives begin to worry and try their best to change this. What to do in certain situations, like make a man spend more time with his child?

Not interested in the child

Mothers often complain that fathers show no interest in the newborn baby and they are afraid of what will happen next, if even now the baby does not interest him.

Well, for starters, it’s worth considering that there is also a share of mom’s fault in this.

After all, as you know, in the first time after the birth of a child, the mother devotes all her attention to him and won't let anyone near him at all., sometimes even his father, instructing him to do household chores.

Therefore, dad can get used to this arrangement of affairs and subsequently think that his help is needed only in economic affairs. In addition, it happens that fathers wake up, because now the wife devotes all her time to the child, and her husband goes by the wayside.

Psychologists advise establishing contact between father and child from the first minutes of a baby's life.

After all, some fathers want to wait until the child understands at least something and only then begin to establish a relationship with them. But this is a mistake. This must be done as early as possible.

As soon as the child is born, the father should be allowed to take care of him. It is desirable that they spend as much time as possible together. Let dad help in everything what is connected with the child: swaddle, bathe, lull, etc.

He needs to talk to him more, the baby needs to hear the voice of his father. They have contact must be made, which will subsequently affect their relationship as a whole.

Not involved with children

Unfortunately, fathers often do not show due interest in the life of a child, even if they are not divorced from his mother and live under one roof.

Sometimes, the husband does not take care of the child because he works hard or believes that his job is to provide good financial position families, and the wife will do the rest.

1. In no case you can not speak to a man in an orderly tone that he should spend more time with the child.

   It is necessary to do it softer, as if to advise that the child needs paternal attention, you can use as an example the relationship of some acquaintances or friends.

2. It is necessary to teach a father to be with children from the first minutes of a child's life. Husband needs to show trust him with a baby.
3. Need to praise her husband for his actions and initiative, he must know that he is doing everything right.
4. Can start some family traditions . For example, every Saturday to watch movies and cartoons for the whole family, and on Sunday to get out together to some institution.

Doesn't want to help raise

Sometimes the husband flatly refuses to help with matters that are related to children.

Wives are partly to blame. From the very birth of a child, most mothers do not trust their husband to take care of children.

They are afraid that they will do something wrong. A man, seeing all this, gets used to this situation, and when his wife needs help, he simply does not want to do it.

1. About duties better negotiate before the baby is born. You can distribute housework and child care equally. Decide in advance who will do what. Subsequently, you do not need to demand more, except in emergency situations with a complete blockage.
2. If the husband flatly refuses to help, for starters, you need talk to him.

   You should tell how hard it is to take care of children and household chores, describe in detail the daily routine.

3. For persuasiveness, you can for one day swap roles with husband. Let him do all the work of his mother all day.
4. Can be negotiated: if the husband does not want to help with the child at all, let him do all the household chores (cooking, cleaning, washing, etc.) or vice versa.

How to punish a child for lying? Learn about it from ours.

Cursing in front of a son or daughter

If a husband swears all the time in front of a child, you need to do something about it, because it is known that children copy the behavior of their parents.

Soon, the child will begin to use obscenities in kindergarten or school.

Weaning a husband to swear in front of a child can be difficult. Need to talk to him talk about the consequences of such behavior.

If it has come to such a point that the child is already repeating swear words after his father and copying his behavior, it is worth sending dad for a walk with the baby more often.

It is necessary to draw his attention to how the child behaves, to show that the husband behaves this way, and he just repeat after him.

Let him talk with the tutor or teacher of the child, find out how he behaves in Everyday life. You need to discuss with your husband that you can’t express yourself in front of children, because this has a bad effect on their behavior.

The child does not understand that he is saying bad words, and if you explain this to him, he can still continue to behave this way. It is easier to wean an adult from cursing than a child.

Screaming at the child

Men by nature more rude and demanding in matters of upbringing, I eat moms.

If shouting at a child is not backed up by cruelty, then it is normal for the father to slightly raise his voice.

Set the rules, which will say what you can scold a child for and what not. If dad yells at the child when he comes home from work tired and annoyed by something, the kid climbs to him with his questions.

At such moments better smooth corners. It is possible for this time to occupy the baby with something so that he does not disturb dad.

If the husband overdoes it with screams, it is worth talking to him. Ask how he wants to be remembered by his children. How he wants them to speak of him when they grow up. After all, children remember everything, and then they may treat their father differently.

It is necessary to respect the views of the husband on the upbringing of children, to praise him more. Do not complain to him about the children.

Ex-husband does not communicate with the child

Unfortunately after, most fathers forgets they have a child. Communication is reduced to a minimum, and even everything is completely replaced by alimony once a month.

But the child does not understand why dad suddenly stopped taking part in his life, he may even begin to blame himself for this. But what to do in such a situation?

Problem Prevention

How to prepare a husband in advance to help with a child? Some men, when they hear that they are about to become a father, get scared.

Because of fear, they cannot do anything and take the position in which they completely refuse to help. in matters related to the child. But what to do? How to prepare a husband for fatherhood?

You can always make a father communicate more with his children. It is important to find the right approach and convey everything correctly. After all, it is very important for children so that not only mom, but also dad was nearby.

Psychologist's advice on how to introduce a husband to communicate with a child:

if the father of the child is not actually interested in the life of the child and does not help financially, is it worth allowing their communication, if in my opinion he cannot teach the child anything good in life

Every person in our life teaches us something. :) Every person on our way is not without reason. :) Let them walk on weekends. It’s just that in the teenage period there can be such shnyaga: Mother gave all of herself to him, respectively, and forbade something, and dad is so white and fluffy, brings gifts, allows everything. And, accordingly, the child declares - dad is good, mom is bad. :(This is a pichalka in nature. ;) :) Good luck! ;) :)
P.S. How about filing for alimony? True, there is a lot of red tape ... :(((

It is worth discussing his participation in the life of the child as an ADULT, you should think about what he can give. And suggest that if he wants to communicate with the child, let it be for the sake of the child. And not because it is necessary, etc. Let him take some responsibility on himself, for example, to lead in a circle. One way or another, but the child needs a father, you can go to family counseling what would help you to spread resentment in different directions and important roles in a child's life.

I think not) if he does not care about the child. why would they communicate at all?

Not worth it. What kind of father is this? But communication should be banned legally.

I don't think it's worth it. such a "responsible" dad is likely to disappear soon. Are you ready to come up with different unthinkable stories for your child when he asks where is dad?

It is more important how the child relates to the father. You can divorce your husband or wife, but you cannot divorce your mom or dad. But if dad is a stranger for a child, then such communication is useless

If a father has a desire to communicate with a child, this means that he is still interested in at least part of his life, it seems to me that this communication should not be limited. If you are afraid for the content part, try to keep this communication under control and not give your father too much will.

better not worth it, this is my opinion. let better baby grows up without a father than looks at the indecent behavior of one of the parents. Moreover, the father is not the one who did it, but the one who raised it. and on your way to meet the real and loving man who will be an example for the child

In any case, bans will not lead to anything good. I don't know how old your child is, but the time will come and he himself will draw conclusions - whether or not to communicate with his father.

Worth it A child must have a father.

You see the question that one of the users of the site asked the Universe, and the answers to it.

Either people who are very similar to you, or your complete opposites, answer.
Our project was conceived as a way psychological development and growth, where you can ask advice from "similar" and learn from "very different" what you do not yet know or have not tried.

Do you want to ask the Universe about something important to you?

Hello,

According to paragraph 2 of Art. 66 of the Family Code, parents have the right to conclude an agreement in writing on the procedure for implementing parental rights by a parent living separately from the child. If the parents cannot reach an agreement, the dispute is resolved by the court with the participation of the guardianship and guardianship authority at the request of the parents (one of them). At the request of the parents (one of them) in the manner prescribed by the civil procedural legislation, the court with the obligatory participation of the guardianship and guardianship body has the right to determine the procedure for exercising parental rights for the period until the court decision enters into legal force.

Thus, you can negotiate and conclude an agreement (it is in a simple written form, executed voluntarily) or go to court. Arrangements "in words" are usually not fulfilled, with the help of an agreement or a court decision, some certainty can be introduced into the relationship of parents about the child, into the relationship of the child and the parent living separately.

If the issue is resolved in court, you need to apply to the district court at the place of residence of the defendant with a statement of claim to determine the procedure for communication between the child and the father, indicate in the application the procedure for communication that you consider correct, justify it in the interests of the child. In your situation, the communication of the child with the father on your territory and in your presence will be a source of conflict. Communication at the place of residence of the mother and / or in her presence is justified, due to the age of the child or if the child does not know the father well, did not live together with him. It should also be taken into account that, firstly, in a state of conflict, parents see the situation through the prism of their attitude towards their ex-spouse, so reality can be perceived somewhat distortedly, and, secondly, the child can say what you want to hear, because. there is a so-called "conflict of loyalty". To refer to child abuse, it must be proven, words alone are not enough.

Since the child is already, as I understand it, 7 years old, it is certainly possible to achieve communication through the court in your presence and at your home, but it is unlikely and this will only increase the conflict. Try to let the child go to the father, unless, of course, housing and living conditions allow it. You can: 1) send a written proposal to conclude an agreement by a valuable letter with an inventory, keep a copy and a receipt 2) apply to the guardianship authorities with a request to assist in concluding an agreement, conducting a conversation 3) apply to the court, attaching copies of these applications to confirm your attempts to resolve the conflict peacefully.

What specific communication procedure (frequency, time, duration, meeting place) to offer the father of the child is up to you, but I would advise you to allow the father to pick up the child, for example, once a week on weekdays and 2 times a month on weekends (for one or two weekends) no overnight stays.

Since you write that the father is not involved in the maintenance of the child, you can apply to the court to determine the place of residence of the child, determine the procedure for communication, collect alimony, such an application can be filed at your place of residence. On the one hand, it will allow you to collect alimony, on the other hand, the father will be obliged to return the child to you, and at the same time days and times for communication will be set.

To prove the negative influence of the father on the child, you will have to contact a psychologist to conduct a study (i.e. go to an appointment so that the psychologist talks with the child and gives a conclusion), you can ask for a characteristic from the preschool educational institution (kindergarten, school) - the father probably does not appear there , this will be the basis for the restriction in communication. However, the communication of a child with a separately living father on the territory of the mother almost always leads to an increase in conflict, it is better not to insist on this, especially if you have new family, you are pregnant and you will have another child.

Please contact if you need more detailed advice, assistance in drafting documents. Good luck to you!

Sincerely, Andrey Kozyrev