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How not to become led by a child. A teenager and bad company - what should parents do. Friends since childhood

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What to do if a teenager is in bad company? Parents, having learned about this, immediately try to pull their negligent child out of this "gathering of bad guys who have neither education, nor worthy interests, nor goals in life." However, you should not immediately accuse other people's children of being “wrong”. After all, their parents may think the same way about your child, they say, it is he who has a bad influence on others.

In fact, children themselves choose the environment in which they feel comfortable and safe. This is their choice! And, only by calling on wisdom and patience to help, you can influence this choice. And if such popular methods as picking up the phone, turning off the Internet, locking them up at home are used as punishment, this will not help the case. And even aggravate the situation in which mom will become worst enemy. After all, not only does she herself not give enough love, affection, attention, she also deprives the means that help a teenager to entertain herself on her own, escaping from loneliness.

Reasons why a child associates with bad company:

  • the search for people who will respect and accept him as he is, without moralizing and reproaches;
  • striving to be "like everyone else" (in given age children want to belong to some kind of collective, so as not to feel alone and outcasts. That is why they begin to try cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, not because they consider it right, but simply for the company, like everyone else);
  • the need to feel like a part of society, a team, to express one's opinion, to gain authority and respect, to establish contacts;
  • escape from loneliness and emotional coldness that take place at home, in the family;
  • the search for authority from whom you can learn new things;
  • protest and desire to do it out of spite, just to disobey and show their independence and independence;
  • the desire to be popular, and, at this age, popularity is perceived in such a way that even if they talk badly about you, it's better than not talking at all and not paying attention.

An important reason that teenagers are united in bad companies is that they feel each other's problems, understand and support as best they can. Unfortunately, it is not their fault that they cannot get the necessary support and understanding in the family... Parents, at best, instill only formal values: you need to be neat, study well and give way to elders. But there is no high-quality communication and accessible explanations of “what is good and what is bad” in these families.

And therefore, if children choose a company in which it’s “cool” not to play sports, but to sit back, smoke, swear, then it’s not their fault, but their parents, who didn’t put the right life values ​​into their minds and didn’t explain what it means to “be cool."

Signs to watch out for parents:

  • The appearance of "weird and wrong" friends surrounded by a teenager.
  • A locked room and strict restriction of parents' access to their personal space.
  • Absenteeism at school, as well as skipping circles, sections. Often parents, when sending a child to classes, do not even suspect that he is going to a completely different place, for example, to meet his new friends.
  • Loss of things and money from home. Moreover, the theft can be committed not by your child, but by one of those whom he brought into the house during the absence of his parents.
  • Strange changes in appearance.
  • Complaints from neighbors, teachers.
  • Out of nowhere passion for heavy music, songs with obscene words.
  • Bad mood, depression, tearfulness and excessive irritability.
  • Tension in communication with parents, rudeness, silence, isolation.
  • Self-doubt (sometimes a teenager himself understands that the company he contacted is bad, and that he begins to do wrong things. And therefore he doubts whether it is worth continuing to communicate with new people).
  • Obsessive desire to spend a lot of time away from home.
  • The smell of tobacco, alcohol, inappropriate behavior characteristic of people who use drugs ...

What to do:

  1. First of all, you need to realize that a teenager goes into bad company on his own, without coercion, following his desires. This means that he must get out of there himself, guided by his own motives. And parents should change the situation at home and the relationship with the teenager so that he no longer wants to seek understanding and support outside the family.
  2. The main rule of education is the use of "I-messages" in conversations. This means that instead of the phrases “You did wrong”, “Why are you silent all the time like a fish!” you need to say: “I am very worried when you do this”, “I love you and would like us to talk more about what worries you.”
  3. For conversations to be productive, choose the right time and place. If there has just been a conflict, or if either of you is just out of sorts, wait until you calm down. Make sure you don't snap and turn to accusations and insults if something goes wrong during the conversation.
  4. Teenagers really want to be respected, noticed, considered cool. So explain the meaning of the word "cool". Tell them that in order to arouse admiration, you need not smoke and swear, but learn to do something that not everyone can do. It's cool to be able to draw awesome pictures, work in Photoshop, speak fluent foreign language, doing cool dance moves, winning a medal in some sport, etc. This will definitely cause "Wow!" from peers because they can't. And to take a puff or say an obscene word - everyone can ... who has a mouth.
  5. Praise and admire the student. He so needs it! Children themselves would often very much like to tell their relatives about what worries them, but the fear of being misunderstood and ridiculed makes them share the news not with their parents, but with friends who definitely will not criticize and teach life.
  6. Be yourself a clear example and bearer of the values ​​that you are trying to instill in a teenager. After all, no one will listen to a person who talks about the dangers of smoking, but at the same time he smokes.
  7. Allow me to invite new friends of a teenager from a bad company to visit and quietly watch them. Maybe everything is not as scary as you imagined, and these are ordinary children. Or maybe it will turn out that just your child is the “ringleader”.
  8. Do not be afraid to share your feelings and experiences with your son or daughter. Do not be shy to be the first to ask for forgiveness after quarrels, show tears if you are really hurt by the rudeness and behavior of the child. (Read about causes of children's resentment of parents ).
  9. Unobtrusively tell what addictions can bring, using real examples from the lives of acquaintances or strangers. You can watch feature films and documentaries together, illustrating the consequences of being associated with bad company, about the dangers of smoking and drugs. Here it is important not only to prohibit, but to make sure that the teenager has formed right attitude to those things that can cripple his life.
  10. Learn to negotiate so that a growing person understands that he is being consulted, considered, and not ordered in the form of an ultimatum.
  11. Spend more time together, find energy for it, and at least half an hour or an hour a day. Do not despair if the first attempts look ridiculous and are rejected by the offspring.
  12. Try to make friends by doing everything that real friends do: go to cafes, take walks, ask for advice, share secrets, listen, don't call names, don't criticize, and help in every way and word.
  13. Raise the self-esteem of the child, because it is usually children with low self-esteem who cannot defend their point of view and are overly dependent on the opinions of others.
  14. Hug daily and feel free to speak sweet words, show care and warmth.
  15. Help the teen find an alternative company, such as a gym, scout club, art clubs. Let him see for himself the difference in life values ​​between "good" and "bad" guys. After all, often a child gets into a bad company just because he could not find a good one.!
  16. Check social media mobile phone his child, in order to know with whom he communicates, what he lives with and what he worries about. Skillfully manage the information received in conversations, directing the train of thought in the right direction. Ideally, this should be done in secret, because we all know that climbing on other people's phones is not good. But in this case, just this forbidden technique may be the only way to find out the truth and, sounding the alarm in time, save the teenager from rash steps that could break his life.
  17. If a teenager starts wearing inappropriate clothes and trying "war color", don't be sarcastic or throw caustic comments, but show other examples, look together fashion magazines, buy stylish clothes like the one you find in magazines, ask your son or daughter to help you put together your wardrobe.
  18. Sometimes it is useful to just wait a bit, and the situation will “resolve” by itself. If your child was brought up correctly and the correct life values ​​​​are laid in him, then after some time the teenager himself will be disappointed in new friends and leave a bad company on his own, realizing that they have too different interests and worldviews.
  19. Remember what not to do so as not to aggravate the situation:
  • Scandal
  • Beat,
  • Organize demonstration searches
  • Throw tantrums
  • Set ultimatums
  • Peremptorily prohibit (forbidden fruit is sweet),
  • Threaten,
  • Forcibly pull to a psychologist (learn when a child needs psychiatric help ),
  • Keep under house arrest for a long time
  • Deprive the phone, the Internet (although, if fight internet addiction, then this method of punishment will be for the good).

20. Instead of severe punishments and screams, it’s better to ask yourself the question more often: what kind of parent am I, what topics do I talk about with my son or daughter? Most likely, this is only a formal: “How are you? Have you done your lessons? Have you eaten?” And the inner state of a growing man, his relationships with friends, the opposite sex, teachers are left without attention ...

It seems to many parents that if their children are shod, well-fed and have a roof over their heads, then their parental mission is completed. Of course, buying clothes, feeding, paying for mugs and tutors is good, but obviously not enough to protect a teenager from bad companies in which he is looking for the missing understanding and attention to himself as a person.

If you know effective ways solve this problem, share in the comments. Maybe it is your advice that will help someone turn from the wrong path to the right one!

Modesty and tact is, of course, good. However, it must be remembered that in order to succeed in life, you need to have your own opinion on various issues, as well as be able to express and defend your point of view. And you need to learn this from childhood. It depends on whether the parents take into account the opinion of their crumbs, whether they allow them to make some decisions on their own, it depends on whether he will have his own opinion in the future or whether he will become a follower.

Well, who is he like? - laments my friend Ira, mother of five-year-old Timofey. - Today, on a walk in the garden, I threw my hat into a puddle. I ask why, he says, Ilya said so. He obeys this Ilya in everything!

How to get rid of such a statement? To do this, it is necessary to instill in the child a sense of self-worth. And the certainty that his own opinion, the opinion of a little man, is just as important as anyone else's. Even an adult. And also the ability to defend this very opinion.

To begin with, consider whether you are allowing your child to make their own decisions that the family accepts and supports. For example, he chooses where you go on the weekend, he comes up with a scenario for his birthday or expresses his wishes regarding food. Can he choose clothes on his own, decide with whom to play? If all this is difficult for him, it's time to start acting.

Photo by GettyImages

So that the child does not grow up as a weak-willed and passive person, psychologists advise parents to adhere to several rules. They are simple, but for some reason they are always forgotten.

1. Do not impose your opinion on the baby and always be interested in his preferences.

If you ask a question what kind of T-shirt (dress) he wants to wear, after receiving the answer, agree with his choice. If you see that the choice is clearly not suitable, explain the reason (reasonably), and offer other options.

By the way, this will help to cope with such a problem as children's whims. For example, a child does not want to go to kindergarten. You ask if he's going to wear a penguin T-shirt or a plaid shirt today. The child switches to the problem of choice, and the hysteria about the kindergarten fades away.

2. Advise, but correctly. Push for a decision, but don't decide for him.

It should be exactly advice, tips, but in no case swearing. Otherwise, the child will have a negative attitude towards parental advice. Yes, yes, in a few years it will be rolling your eyes at the ceiling just at the sound of your voice. Regardless of the quality of the advice.

You can just hint that in this case he does not do the most the best choice and immediately explain why and how he should act in such a situation. But if he insists on his own, then there will be some consequences for which he will have to bear responsibility. And then let the kid decide for himself what is right.

3. Listen to the child - and hear.

Listening is not only hearing the sound of a voice, individual words and whole phrases. It is important to understand the speaker, and not only washed away, but also the child's perception of this topic, his feelings and emotions. Give the child feedback: he must understand that you hear him, you are interested in his opinion. And in no case do not cut it off in mid-sentence: “In short, we do this…”

4. Never answer a child's question with the phrase: "Because I said so!"

Firstly, this formulation does not explain to the child why it is necessary to act this way and not otherwise. Secondly, if he gets used to the fact that only mom (dad) decides everything, what kind of personal opinion can we talk about? He will understand that it is much easier to take a ready-made solution and stupidly follow the instructions.

Photo by GettyImages

5. Let me be the boss.

Let the kid "turn on the boss" and decide something for the whole family. In this case, of course, we are not talking about any serious issues or problems. Here we are talking about such things as, for example, a joint walk. Let the child choose where you will go with the whole family for the weekend. So the baby will feel that his opinion is really appreciated and taken into account.

6. Talk with the child on an equal footing - without sarcasm and irony.

Depending on how you talk to your child, when he shares his thoughts with you, talks about something, it depends on whether he wants to continue to do this. You may think his experiences are silly, but in no case make fun of them. Psychologists also advise not to pat a child on the head or on the shoulder; for children, all this is a pronounced neglect. How to pat a dog on the back of the neck.

Why is all this necessary? Then, in order not to fall under the bad influence in the future. After all, if a child understands that his opinion is not an empty phrase, then he will be able to defend this very opinion later. And it doesn't matter where it will be: in communication with peers, in a school discussion or at work. And most importantly - the baby will not be led, blindly following someone's example.

My son is in a group of his friends, unfortunately, a follower. I am very afraid that, having matured, he will fall under the influence of "bad company." How to develop a sense of leadership in a child?

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Answered by Zlata Greiber

Not every child who was led in a peer group falls into bad company. These things are not related to each other at all. And it is better to be a “follower” in a good company than a leader in a bad one. Whether your son becomes a leader or not depends on what opportunities were given to him by the Creator and his parents. If he has a penchant for leadership and he has not been beaten by domineering parents, he has every chance of becoming a leader. And then he himself will decide who and what he should be.

If you mean spinelessness, readiness to obey anyone and everyone who starts to give orders, then this is a completely different problem. It's called "low self-esteem," which entails an unwillingness to take responsibility.

When a child treats himself as a creature of little value, weak, stupid and unsuccessful, he will readily submit to any guidance, even of very low quality. That is why the Soviet government (like many other authorities) put so much effort into the humiliation and trampling of the human person. Sheep are easy to manage. People are difficult.

Therefore, the surest way to teach leadership is to increase the self-esteem of the child. This is not a quick matter, and it must be taken seriously and responsibly, because self-esteem is the foundation of a person’s whole life.

First of all, the child must be treated in such a way that he understands and FEEL that he is loved (see "love languages"). He needs to be praised a lot: with or without reason. Soviet upbringing said that it was not necessary to praise, well, perhaps for a feat, but it was necessary to indicate more what had not yet been done. This supposedly helps a person to become better. And if he just behaves well, then there is nothing to praise for, as it should be. The true goals of such an ideology - see two paragraphs above. Downtrodden people automatically become followers.

Check - why is it unprofitable for your son to be a leader? How do you, his parents, feel about the manifestation of his leadership qualities? To unwillingness to obey instructions, for example? To the desire to do what he thinks is right? In the answers to these questions, you can find the answer to your first question ...

Praise your son, notice any of his successes, even the smallest and most insignificant. Convince him that he is smart, strong, wonderful, talented. Support when he is having a hard time. The main property of a leader is to rise after falling. To teach this, you need understanding and patience, you can’t rush him to “rise”. Learn to criticize without offending, and reduce the number of instructions given to him. Then he will have the opportunity to learn to respect himself and develop as a person.

And even if he decides not to become a leader in his company, he will be the leader of his life, a person who has principles, knows how to set and achieve goals, makes decisions independently and rightfully enjoys the respect of others.

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The editors received a question from our reader. For an answer, we turned to the specialists of the Training Center "Square Orange". Evgenia Pankova, a psychologist, answers the question.

fly-mama.ru

"Good afternoon! Tell me, please, how to behave with your son, what to say to him, how to influence him at least a little, to rebuild. The fact is that I have a very “led” child, as they say about such children. At the same time, he is smart, due to his age, he is among the first in the class in terms of studies, he is normal in terms of temperament, he does not have any hyperactivity. He never thinks of anything bad. We talk with my husband, explain what is bad, what is good. But as soon as a “leader” appears on the horizon in his communication, and, as a rule, with solid negative features, then he is like a “tail” - he is afraid to look like a white crow, probably (these are my assumptions). He himself is also wearing glasses, often complains that he is teased by a bespectacled man, with this we also do not know what to advise him. We say don't pay attention, but you know how cruel children can be sometimes. Help advice…”

Good afternoon.

The “guided ones” most often become children who are used to relying on the opinions of their elders and not trusting their own. Then any bright personality in their environment becomes an important person for them. The brightest among children and teenagers are, as a rule, those who do not recognize the authorities of their elders, on any occasion have their own opinion, different from the majority and are able to defend it. Such a leader says: “Let's do this!”, and the led child does not even have the idea to think - “Is this right for me?”, “Do I want to participate in this myself?”.

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In such a situation, it is important for parents to form in the child a sense of dignity, faith in their own strengths, the ability to rely on their own judgments in actions. Ask his opinion more often about various events in your family and his school and extracurricular life. Ask him for advice in making decisions that affect the whole family and him personally. His voice should become as important as the voices of adults in the family. It can be a discussion about where to go on vacation, what sofa to buy, what to cook for dinner, how to spend the weekend. You can play anonymous voting when choosing, for example, between going to the theater, to the cinema or to sports holiday next Saturday. If this vote is interesting for all participants, you will come up with rules together, and everyone will be ready to agree with any of its outcomes, this will be a very important experience.

For parents, the experience of recognizing and respecting the boundaries of their own child, admiring the solution he proposed or showing perseverance in defending his opinion (children are often very creative in finding non-standard solutions to any problem). Even if the option proposed by the child does not seem realistic to you, find in it a grain of interest that can be used in other circumstances.

For a child, this is an experience of self-respect, that his opinion is important, they listen to him, that he is significant in the family. Gradually, he will be able to transfer this state of a respected person to communication with peers.

About glasses and teasers... It is important for your son to choose the frame that he wants to wear - very beautiful, super fashionable, super expensive or the same as his favorite hero. Go shopping with him, let him try on a lot of frames - at least EVERYTHING! You can take pictures of him in the frames that he liked. Give him time to choose, maybe a few days. The glasses acquired as a result can become a status item for him. If you have friends or relatives who wear glasses, you can initiate a conversation with your child about the benefits of wearing glasses for them personally. Pay attention to the pleasant faces of people with glasses: “Look what an intelligent face ...” or “Look how this man smiles pleasantly ...”, i.e. without focusing on the fact that these are people with glasses.

Thank you for bringing up such an important topic.

Psychologist of the Training Center "Square Orange"
Pankova Evgenia

Dear readers! If you have any questions about the upbringing and development of children, write to us by mail

Guided kid. How can parents prevent this? If parents do not give the child freedom, all decisions are made for him, they do not have confidence in his natural ability to benefit from anything, both from mistakes and from trials, his development is closed only around himself, the safest thing for a child is only they themselves, and their advice and instructions are only the most correct, then the slave child lives and grows up with such a position.

Slave child - what to do, how to fix it?

Slave child - what to do, how to fix

Friendship is the union of two or more people who have some similar interests and hobbies, or vice versa, the union of opposite people who are able to complement each other.

Around the age of four, the child is already trying to cooperate and assign roles and tasks in games. By the age of five or six, the baby is not yet striving for self-affirmation.

At this age, something else is important, that is, some kind of common cause, and it does not matter whether it is a simple conversation or a game. The main thing is to be together with the little one.

Right now there is a new feeling of doing something for a friend, a desire for partnership. And we adults know perfectly well that not everything is so colorful outside the house, the baby will meet grief and even disappointment there.

Friendship in no case can be consumer, because its basis is mutual assistance, friendship should benefit everyone, and not just one side. One of the friends should not always be in the role of a lifesaver, a true friend will not be silent if his comrade intends to do something bad or a big mistake.

If your baby does not occupy a leading position in the team, he is a valuable member of the group, as he has his own opinion and has his own view of what is happening. So the leader can show the direction both good and bad.

When a child is a follower, he tries to find his place in a group of peers, he tries to fit in with the group, but since he lives in a strong subordination of his mom and dad, he will also take the place of a subordinate in the group.

Other children, alas, are able to recognize a trouble-free child very quickly and use it to their advantage.

For example, in kindergarten, such a child will do those tasks that no one wants, on the playground, play roles that others do not like. In the event of a conflict situation, such a child will be pushed around and he will support the side of the strongest, despite the fact that the truth may be on the other side.

How can a child learn to distinguish a negative example from a positive one? A guided child - you need to try to teach him to think regardless of what is happening and intrusive from the outside.

To do this, he must - first: be able to set his goals, achieve the tasks that he has outlined, believe in his own strength, be able to say no to those who are trying to take him aside. The second is to give yourself a healthy and realistic assessment.

How to help your child develop leadership skills Or just become a person?

Is your Follower child far from the leader? Do not be upset, because no matter how soft your baby is, impressionable and gentle, developing the qualities of a leader will only benefit him. The main thing is just don’t overdo it, you don’t need to force the baby into what he is not, who he will never be able to become, and most importantly, he doesn’t want to!

The child should be given as much freedom as possible, let him accumulate experience in solving various problems and minor difficulties. Through them, the child learns many skills that will form in him confidence and awareness of his own Self (“I know how to do it”).

If you live in a private house, you can buy a playground and equip a yard for playing, invite children to play with your "master of the situation." For parents of children living in high-rise buildings, we offer to order a playground at an affordable price by collecting money from all over the big yard!

Let your child invite many different friends to visit, among them, someday there will be a kindred spirit for your child, a true friend.

Teach your child to look for differences in the thoughts and actions of different characters, heroes - what they are (courage, envy, devotion, anger), how to treat them and how to react to them. Focus on which friends are real and which are false. When you read, sometimes get distracted and ask, for example: “How are you The Snow Queen? Why is Gerda looking for her little brother?”

In order for the Guided Child to cope with his indecision and insecurity, make up several situations in which courage and firmness are needed, and play them several times.

The child needs to be trained in those moments where he is faced with aggression in his address, where he is forced to do something bad and turn a blind eye to something. Here are some possible situations: You are advised to run across the road to dangerous place. Explain your position on this matter. Or: your friend is bullying a girl or a younger child. Stop it.

With a child, you need to dream together. Imagine walking through a fairy forest and rescuing a little bunny from a gray wolf, and then helping him find his family. Imagine how you are in space or at the bottom of the ocean, trying to fight thirst, walking through a hot desert, and so on. It is necessary to use positive associations more often: “imagine yourself strong”, “imagine yourself on a fabulous horse”.

The child needs to be told that people are all different, everyone has their own opinions and preferences, what everyone likes is simply impossible. But we can always be honest with ourselves and with people. Teach your child to correctly express his attitude towards peers, whether it is good or bad, and even to refuse what is unacceptable to him. Speak with conviction, looking the offender straight in the eye.

The child does not need to be scolded and punished for failures and mistakes. Let the mistake be a valuable lesson, not a feeling of guilt.

Parents need to teach the child to always finish the work that has been started. Offer your help to him if something is not working out for him.

To teach a child to be able to laugh at himself, only those parents who know how to laugh at themselves and who take care of the personality of their babies are capable of.

You can play fat aunts, dress up as clowns or shaggy uncles and wait until the child himself wants to take part in this game. When a child who is not confident in himself tells you: “I'm funny, look at me” - then you won!

Parents should welcome any undertakings of their child, support all hobbies and hobbies. Even if they change several times a day, they enrich the worldview of the child, help him in further self-determination.

How to teach a child to trust himself?

Before you say your word and help others to accept themselves and understand, you first need to correctly assess your personality and individuality. The child must understand his value and not sell it for cheap.

This child can help. Let your child feel that they don't have to do anything special so that they can feel your love. Let the child be sure that you love him very much, and this does not depend on whether he is beautiful or not, successful or not at all. Our negative assessments underlie the complexes of children.

Parents need to recognize the child's right to their own opinion. Only the person who has the choice is able to bear responsibility for the decision he has chosen.

And if the child led did not take the right step? In no case do not say: “I told you, I warned you”, these words, as it were, imply satisfaction with the failure that has occurred. It’s better to say: “yes, it didn’t turn out quite the way you thought. But you need to think about how everything can be improved.”

The follower child learns to make decisions on his own and sometimes makes mistakes in them, but the main thing is that he himself will learn to correct them, and then it will get better, he will not stop trying and there will be no consequences. This is the first step towards taking responsibility for your life.

Parents need to recognize the success of the child, even if they expected much more from him. You need to focus on achievements, and you should not get hung up on failures.

Parents need to ask the child if he likes the way they call him. After all, mom and dad very often do not even suspect that with their seemingly “harmless” nickname, they can lower the child’s self-esteem.

You should always try to change negative thoughts into positive ones. Once a child came from a walk upset, dissatisfied with the fact that he had told a rhyme badly, or that he had broken, lost or soiled something - do not scold him. Not all artists sing well, not all historians know mathematics. Try to support the child here too with joy in your voice: “Can't overtake? But how well you jump!” “Not everyone has to be football players, someone has to be an artist!”

The child definitely needs to say words of praise, and not just “well done”, but “what a beautiful tree he painted, smart girl” or “how cleverly you throw the ball”. The slave child must understand that all parental praise is given for any achievement and it is much more valuable. a simple word"clever".

Come up with positive attitudes to do something for yourself and for the child. For example: “I am the bravest”, “I am the kindest”. At the end of the day, you can talk about those things with which you have proven your kindness and courage.

You can play this game: “I boast a little, but it doesn’t mean that I am arrogant.” When a child does something, let him pronounce new pseudonyms: “I am the most skillful artist” or “I am the most accurate ball thrower”.

Your Child needs to be taught so that he is not afraid to do some undertakings. For example, afraid to climb a children's ladder? “Today we can climb just one step and just stand, and tomorrow we will climb one more.

Let your child grow and learn according to their mental, physical and even emotional abilities. Before the child, set more often any feasible tasks that will certainly be successful. Then the child will believe in his own strength, in himself and will try more.

The child should always be listened to carefully. It's a lot of work for mom and dad to get away from TV or housework. Why is this needed? Then, when communicating, people look into each other's eyes, trying to understand the interlocutor's thoughts, motives and feelings.

Recall also your childhood experience. Your personal life examples and stories will be an invaluable experience for the child.

A slave child - we can fix it!