You live far apart. How to keep friendship long distance. Is it possible to keep friendships at a distance if you or your friends have decided to move

11.08.2020 Thrush

In search of change, new experiences and a higher standard of living, many of us or our acquaintances change their place of residence and move to other cities and countries. If homesickness is a purely individual matter, hardly anyone will argue that it is easy to part with like-minded people.

One of the most painful moments in moving is the fear of losing old friends. Of course, when you change your place of residence, new acquaintances appear, but still an old friend is better than two new ones.

Is it possible to keep friendships at a distance if you or your friends have decided to move

The answer to this question depends on many factors. The main one is your mutual desire to remain friends. I changed countries twice, and when I returned back, my closest friends scattered around the world. At the same time, the geography of the new places where they settled is really amazing: Great Britain, Spain, the USA, France, Canada, Norway and even Indonesia.

But friendship at a distance is still there. Here everything depends on your desire. If friendship with specific person is truly important to you, no distance will interfere with you.

How not to lose emotional connection if you live in different places

Do not stop easy communication over trifles

It's very easy to get separated from each other. But only if you don't share information. Real friendly intimacy implies ease and ease in communication, which are often made up of little things. Now you don't even have to waste time writing letters. Just let us know how you're doing by recording a voice message.

If you live nearby, then you probably exchange stupid jokes, photos, or some not very important facts from your life with your friends. If your friend has moved to a different country or city, essentially nothing has changed. You can also send stupid messages to each other in messengers that do not carry a large semantic load.

Write to a friend about it. At the same time, there will be a great reason to ask how he is doing. Did they give you flowers? Send a photo of them to a friend. There will be a reason to talk about a new fan. Did you see an old photo from a trip together? Send it to a friend and remember past adventures.

The little things in life help keep you friendly emotional background and the feeling that you still speak the same language. It will be easier to start any conversation next time.

Feel free to write first and take a step forward

A good friendship involves both sides. When you are far apart, forget about minor things. It doesn't matter who gets in touch first. You may simply not know how the other person feels in a new place at a particular moment, and your message may turn out to be a pleasant and unexpected surprise.

If they don’t write or call you, this doesn’t mean at all that they forgot about you, stopped loving you, or found a replacement. It happens that there is simply not enough time, energy or reason to initiate communication. Perhaps your friend is going through a difficult period and is embarrassed to talk about his difficulties. Remember that resentment does nothing to strengthen friendship.

Show initiative and interest in your friend's life. Numerous messengers and social media let you know how your friend feels and what he is doing this moment where he goes and what impressions he gets. Write first, even if you have to do it periodically. If you appear in the life of another person from time to time, sooner or later your friend will begin to reciprocate and be the first to make contact.

Make surprises even if you live far apart

It is pleasant for all of us to think and it is extremely important to know that somewhere far away we are remembered and loved. Surprises from afar are very unexpected in themselves. Don't be lazy and take the time and energy to do something nice for your friend from a distance.

Technology allows you to make any surprises, no matter where you and your friend are now. Is your friend's birthday? Order flowers with delivery. Do you miss adventures together? Make an album with your photos and send it by courier. saw cool gift? Buy online with delivery to a friend's house.

You can also create new traditions. For example, send each other postcards from different places. It is very inexpensive, and it is incredibly pleasant to receive them. And if you can, be sure to come to a friend without telling him anything. Seeing a friend you didn't expect to meet soon is truly priceless. Just before the trip, do not forget to make sure that your friend is currently in the city.

Don't Forget Important Dates

We live in the age of social networks, so there is no need to remember when your friends have birthdays. Facebook will remind you in time. Therefore, do not be lazy to call once again and congratulate your friend on the holiday, because it is always nice to hear the voice of a loved one. Spending five minutes of your time will create good mood you and a friend for the whole day.

In no case do not be offended if suddenly a friend forgot to congratulate you. Perhaps he had an extremely difficult work week or an accident happened. Write about an important date yourself and forget about resentment. There are many things that can be done in a relationship. The main thing is to explain in time what happened.

Create group messages and chats

If you have common interests and acquaintances, you will have something to talk about. Group correspondence helps keep abreast and maintain relationships at a distance.

And in a group, you can arrange a meeting in a convenient place for everyone. Joint trips and meetings in other cities are remembered for a long time and create a good foundation for further relationships. After moving, you begin to appreciate your loved ones more, so you don’t put off anything for later.

What is the difference between long distance friendship and long distance relationship?

Friendship is a relationship between people that requires exactly the same systematic work as. But with one caveat: friends can live in different places and maintain relationships for many years, or they may not communicate for several months or even years, and then suddenly meet and talk excitedly for hours.

Unlike long-distance relationships, you do not suffer from obsessive thoughts about who and where your friend is at the moment. And you do not need to build a joint plan for later life.

Be sure of one thing: friendship that has passed with dignity through distances is really real.

she even overcomes the barrier between life and death, what can we say about distance and time

hope. if it is a student. or living with mom and dad. and so we must live together. there are a number of exceptions when the work is seasonal abroad. but that's not the point either. the family should be under one roof.

My love and I are now far apart. At this very time that I am writing here the answer, he is walking with his friends. And this is absolutely normal, and no problem at all.

What a pessimist...

1. silenced all the songs that I don't know
2. In the tart air, my last paper steamer called out.
3. The lights went out in all the windows.
4. Time was erased and became different

if at the same time I love this person who confessed his love to me and other things, then I will react sooooo positively and will live with him for a long time and happily)

Yes ... given ... that I live in Moscow ... and he is in San Diego California) in America ...

Skype is not possible
I was in the hospital for 4 months, but when I got home, the dog just kissed me and washed me from head to toe
I couldn't calm down for three days

Examples? Penelope waited for Odysseus for 20 years and loved him from a distance. At the same time, Homer does not describe to us what kind of life Odysseus led for all 20 years of separation from his wife (did he keep is he her loyalty). The moment when Odysseus returns home, when he met with his already adult son, Telemachus, is also alarming. And the guy is clearly over 20 years old. Here the fairy tale about female fidelity and love at a distance came to an end. ((

Incredible Facts

During the first few months of a romantic relationship, it's easy enough to build one. Of course, the relationship of many couples looks easy from the outside and after a certain period of time, however, only two people know how much work they put in to make everything work out well.

Long distance relationships are very difficult to maintain, and the number of reasons why they can fall apart is very large. Many long-distance relationships certainly pass this test, however, they require serious effort from people who must solve all the problems and obstacles caused by geography.

Of course, with the right mindset, emotional preparedness, and hard work, long-distance relationships can survive. However, such couples face a lot of potential pitfalls.

What are the main reasons that long-distance relationships are doomed?

10. Destruction of communication

People who are far apart face a serious lack of face-to-face communication. In our modern age, there are certainly many alternatives: phone calls, text messages, social networks and other methods invented since the use of pigeons stopped. However, most of our messages of this kind are abbreviated, and this, in turn, can easily turn into the native language of relationships at a distance.

The reverse side of this is that all existing alternatives still do not fully fulfill the functions assigned to them. Considering that you used to communicate and see each other regularly, and now the daily interaction has drastically decreased, you need to put in really a lot of effort in order to be at a distance and really feel the closeness of a person.

If the relationship began at a distance, then of course it will be easier to communicate away from each other, because the dynamics that were present are preserved. If partners are accustomed to regularly finding each other in their lives, then "less personal" communication can become a real problem, especially over time.

Relationships can morph into text-to-voice, which makes them a little strange, especially when the couple reunites after a long separation. There is only one type of person who will succeed in long-distance relationships: a man or woman who highly values their own space (besides, they believe that there should be a lot of it), but who also does not want to lose touch with a loved one.

9. Dark future

If you and your significant other are in a relationship at a distance, then your lives are quite different, and some important circumstances prevent you from living in the same city, or at least in one country.

Maybe you just met and don't know each other enough to move to another city. Despite the outbreak of feelings, your lives still go in parallel. You can't just sell your house, quit your job and move. Or can you? But what if you do it, and in the end nothing works? What if he or she moves to your city (or your home)? Will it be a dream come true or a suffocating nightmare?

Or maybe you started a relationship, as it usually happens, but circumstances, dreams, desires, conscious decisions created a physical distance between you. It is very important for a relationship to strengthen the sense of community, and the connection must be based on a mutually acceptable sense of stability. However, over time, you may gradually stop feeling the presence of your partner in your life, and he may feel the same.

8. One city rule

The One City Rule sets out the primary philosophical question when it comes to monogamy: Is cheating counted as cheating if it doesn't take place in the city where your significant other lives? Too often a person answers it himself: "What he (she) does not know about cannot harm." A lover of "walking" will behave this way, regardless of where his significant other lives, however, the chances of misbehavior increase when people are far from each other.

Monogamy can become a significant problem over time even under direct control. Most people, however, are either in the category of traitors or those who strongly reject something like that. But some people who tend to be faithful to their significant other "react badly" to long periods of being away from each other. Loneliness begins to overcome, new interesting acquaintances appear when you least expect it, after all, alcohol is also a frequent stimulus, which has a relaxing effect not only on the body.

Situations of betrayal are not uncommon, decisions about which are made during circumstances with a "not entirely clear" head. Geography, loneliness, and alcohol are often the biggest problems in long-distance relationships.

7. Lack of trust

If you are currently in a long distance relationship and have just read the previous paragraph, this probably got you thinking. However, by showing distrust, you thereby automatically jeopardize your, perhaps quite healthy relationship.

Many relationships end due to a lack of trust (for real reasons or for imaginary ones), and long-distance relationships are generally a minefield in this sense. In fact, you have no chance of finding out if your loved one is cheating on you or not. But remember that being next to each other does not give any guarantees. A healthy, monogamous relationship requires its members to have a moral compass, ethical grounding, commitment, and devotion to a partner. Your trust in a relationship depends a lot on your personality, your previous romantic encounters, your behavior patterns, and of course, whether you're a jealous person or not.

If your other half is very fond of flirting, then you may encounter real or imagined problems, which is not at all good for your relationship. But your crush may not have anything like that, but the fear that he or she might go "left" will lead to the fact that long-distance relationships may collapse under the weight of suspicion.

6. Communication support cost

When you were together and saw each other every day, you may not have noticed your expenses, but now in order to meet your chosen one, you need to spend money on travel (flight), and in some cases on accommodation. For people who are far from each other, several meetings a year to maintain relationships can cost a decent amount of money. Add to that long-distance phone bills, various gift packages, and in the end you can calculate that such romantic relationships are too expensive for you.

Of course, in general, your financial costs may have been the same if your partner was nearby, but this is only on the condition that in the absence of your soul mate, your social life also "turns off". Most likely, this does not happen, and you continue to go out "in the light", only with friends, and not with your loved one. In fact, feeling alone and needing distraction can even "tighten up your social schedule."

But even if you tighten the financial belt on "social excursions", the costs of "maintaining relationships at a distance" can still be quite significant.

5. Time vs Recoil

Depending on the type of personality and the approaches of both parties to the issue, maintaining a long distance relationship can be time consuming, however, the "return on investment" can be small.

Frequent e-mails, phone calls and sending postcards take a lot of time and effort, however, sharing daily news with each other is not as important as the need to feel the closeness of a person. The more time you spend away from each other, the more the object of your affection may seem something abstract and not so real. Emails, even if they fill your inbox every day, can't compare to being around someone who will help you, spend the day with you, and next to whom you form new pleasant memories. Distance can seriously damage your relationship, and all efforts to save it can look like trying to put a band-aid on the blood rushing from an artery.

Eventually, a growing sense of loneliness can make the wound too severe to be "healed" and the death of the relationship ensues. If your plans do not include uniting with your soul mate in the near future, then the return on such a relationship will be minimal, and you will feel extremely uncomfortable.

4. Prelude to breakup

You're doing everything you can to keep your long distance relationship working, but there still seems to be some hiccups. You write letters, call up, meet from time to time (as soon as you manage to escape). So why doesn't everything work the way we would like?

Sometimes, if a relationship goes into the long-distance stage, it can be programmed to fail from the start. It can be (at least in the reasoning of one of the pair) safe way begin new life without momentarily losing the security and stability of his or her previous life. But even if the person has no plans to stay in a long-distance relationship, he or she may be wary of "jumping into a new reality" without any support. However, as soon as the "new reality" begins to become familiar and familiar, phone calls "home" may become less frequent, less prolonged, and the person himself begins to be less interested in them.

Aside from the (temporary) security that a long-distance relationship can provide, some people simply don't like being in a state of emotional devastation that a breakup is sure to bring. Such people, who prefer to avoid confrontation at all costs with their significant other, tend to take a series of endless steps that can lead to a breakup, or they wait for their partner to take the initiative to break their connection, finally understanding all the hints. While breaking up over the phone is not normal in a normal relationship, it is perfectly acceptable in a long distance relationship where there is no other option.

3. Different expectations from relationships

What do you and your partner expect from a long distance relationship? essential role in the success of such an alliance. "Long distance relationships" can mean different things to different people. For one, this may be "an agonizing tragedy", while for the other partner, it may mean a "holiday".

If a couple does not have the same expectations, then when "separating" the distance can serve as a sentence for such a relationship. One partner may view the distance as a test of strength in the relationship, and he will be in anticipation of the soonest moment of reunion. The second partner can treat this as a fresh taste of life, but alone. He or she, who wants to hear their soul mate 10 times a day, is unlikely to understand if a partner finds it appropriate to communicate once every few days. Even being only in contact by phone, it does not take long for a person to realize that a partner does not share the same feelings regarding their separation.

Moreover, not only the expectation matters, but also the end result, which both partners hope for. Is the temporary separation a step forward in the relationship, or does the distance mean the relationship is moving in a less promising direction?

2. Feeling of separation

Nobody likes to be abandoned, and this feeling is especially strong when one of the partners leaves their significant other. The weeks and months leading up to departure are likely to be tinged with impending separation. As a result, anxiety and even anger can begin to drive the couple even before they leave.

Some people react to separation more calmly than others. For those who have experienced something like this in childhood, the feelings that overwhelm them can be overwhelming when they are faced with the fact that their romantic partner has to leave. The situation may be further aggravated by the fact that the second person did not have any say in the partner's decision to leave, in which case the person will feel powerless to influence the further development of the relationship.

Of course, separation almost always leads to increased feelings of anxiety and unhappiness, but often these feelings pass and relationships are restored, even at a distance. On the other hand, these feelings can also contribute to a drastic deterioration in a relationship that is currently measured in miles rather than shared dreams.

1. Life goes on

Many long-distance relationships are the result of people not being able to change the circumstances that lead them to live in different cities or regions.

However, a person is not vitally adapted to being in a relationship at a distance for a long period of time. Such couples often do not themselves notice the changes that lead to the fact that they begin to become emotionally distant. Interests, values, friends lead to the fact that they slowly and imperceptibly move away from each other. Or, depending on the personality of the person, these changes can occur quickly and noticeably.

Not all relationships are made to last forever, so distance may be just one of the reasons why such unions cease to exist. There is always the possibility that distance was just a catalyst for something inevitable. Some relationships do not work on their own, so trying to keep them at a distance will once again show their doom.

The Unpredictable X Factor: A person wakes up one morning and realizes that he or she is no longer in love, or that they are facing a new romantic interest. Career plans and new opportunities in this case serve only to take people to different cities and countries, those people who, being next to each other, have long since moved away. Many long-distance relationships end because the world keeps turning, but fortunately for those whose relationships of this kind cease to exist, life goes on for such people.

We live far apart. Is a relationship possible? and got the best answer

Answer from Vanka-Nevstanka[guru]
We are far apart. Now between us
Constellation patterns and whistling winds
Roads with trains running into the distance
Yes, a boring chain of telegraph poles.
As if feeling our separation,
Spreading poplar, sighing hotly,
Stretching to the window, a green hand
He put it on my shoulder in a friendly way.
The soul asks for some news,
We wait, light up with every line.
But they bring news not only in envelopes,
They sometimes pass through the walls to us.
Imagine that you hear the news about
That I was deceived along the way by a scoundrel,
That he extended his hand, as a friend, to an enemy,
And he pushed me in the back from the slope ...
The whole body is bruised, the lip is broken ...
What to do? False fate!
And let you be offended, anxious,
But you can believe. Is it possible!
And if suddenly the news, like a blizzard haze,
Will break in and say, in deaf words,
That death interrupted the unsung song
And circled my name with a black border.
Cheerful lips closed forever ...
Loss, it can not be understood, not measured!
Ridiculous! And yet you can believe
Only rocks are immortal, and I am a man!
But if you hear that spring time
For a new, for a ghostly happiness in pursuit
I have my heart not for you, but for another
Excitedly suddenly held out in the palm of your hand,
Let tears not splash, eyelashes do not tremble,
Trouble will not squeeze the prickly cold!
Do not believe! This cannot happen!
Do you hear? This will never be!
Asadov Eduard

Answer from Ksenia Suslova[guru]
Of course it is possible, but it is painful and hard!

Answer from Monster[expert]
since there are none, you will either break up or in life you will turn out to be completely different people ...

Answer from User deleted[master]
Well, maybe. Love can arise from the first SMS as well as at first sight.

Answer from User deleted[guru]
possible, of course, you have to look forward to and wait for a meeting))

Answer from Lilia Kopylova[newbie]
Theoretically - yes, but in practice - it’s already more difficult ... Everything will already depend on how strong your feelings are ...

Answer from Marianna Aghasandyan[newbie]
of course) good luck to you)

Answer from User deleted[active]
if the meeting does not happen soon .... then it will be just communication and not a relationship .... it will sound a lot beautiful words etc....

Answer from Byaka Bukhina[guru]
Possible .. But besides you, he will still have 100 pieces that live closer ...

Answer from Yatiana Dear[guru]
Of course, if you both want it. It's hard, but real.

Answer from Elenashko[guru]
Voznozhny if you are ready to wait for months, years of new meetings. Again, what kind of relationship do you want?
If warm, friendly, easy, without obligations - then yes. And love relationships require constant development, which is impossible without the presence of an object of love. It’s just that over time, the need for communication will disappear, only pleasant memories will remain ...

Answer from User deleted[guru]
familiar situation ... I understand you ...

Answer from Pulat Yunusmetov[expert]
Of course, it is possible, depending on how you treat each other, if you correspond, communicate, at least somehow, then this is excellent, I can reassure you, but judging by me, it’s better to love and be at a distance, this, by the way, turns on than to love and to be near, and most importantly, you can’t say anything, and you can’t do anything about it!!! Good luck, I know everything will be OK with you, and still live happily ever after!!!

Answer from *Anna*[guru]
Relationships are always possible:
with the mutual consent and desire of both parties.

Answer from Natalia[master]
I think it is possible for some time, but the further, the more difficult ... there are no full-fledged relationships at a distance, anyway, everyone has their own life ..

Answer from Crazy Security[guru]
perhaps, but how much trouble is needed .... not everyone succeeds.

Answer from Anika Ako[guru]
Yes. It's just more costly financially. Thus, you just have to put in more effort. But how sweet the meetings will be, how you will wait for the opportunity to be with each other, and you will not waste your precious life together for disassembly.
And further. Such relationships require a very high degree of trust in each other. Can you? Love!

My friend lives far away. Strongly far. In the old city, full of other people's memories and unlived lives. In the city, cut into pieces by the tips of muddy rivers and canals, like a giant pie. There you can walk and listen to the voice of the tired walls, you can touch the heavy leaden sky with your hand, you can watch, standing on worn stones, how the huge belly of the bridge is torn above the water that shimmers with metal. I rarely visit this city - only once every few years, but for me it is my own, because my friend lives and works there. When I go there, many places seem nostalgically familiar to me, as if I had spent some part of my life there - but in fact I just went there with my friend on my last visit. We bought bread and milk from a drab little shop that now proudly boasts a brightly colored sign on foreign language, we printed photographs in an ordinary photo studio - now they sell chicken wings in hot sauce, and a tall unfinished building that greeted us every morning with empty eye sockets of uninserted windows - it now shines with mirrored paneling and is filled with important busy people. Perhaps only the old park with a dirty pond in the center and the rusty wreckage of the aircraft on the pedestal remained the same. But it is unlikely that we will ever again sing with a guitar, sitting on a sprawling tree above the water. This amazing feeling is nostalgia for the unlived.

Much more often, my friend comes to me - to those places where we both grew up, went to school together and shared with each other experiences about the first teenage sympathy for girls we know. Then we fill our backpacks with some food and go to the mountains. There, where the broken road ends at the rickety gates of an uninhabited camp site, to a stone in the form of an elephant and a large gorge crowned with a peak hidden in the clouds. I remember when my father took me here when I was just a boy, how in high school we went here with friends, and now there are only two of us left and we still go to this place. To talk about everything that is a heavy burden inside, to break out of the usual framework of everyday life even for a day, to return in sensations 15 years ago. Two grown men, citizens different states, residents of different cities, a humanitarian and an engineer, we understand each other from a half-word, half-thought.

And most of the time we live at a distance of 4000 kilometers of forests, fields and deserted deserts from each other, and the Internet saves us. Once upon a time, it all started with paper sheets, scribbled in a neat handwriting, packed in lurid envelopes from many stamps. They were delivered by a noisy, dead-eyed woman with a white-worn bag on her shoulder. This happened once or twice a month, and I found out what was going on in my friend's head three weeks ago. He talked about the girls with whom, by the time I received the letter, he had already stopped talking, about concerts that had already been erased from his memory, and then he was very surprised when he received my answers. Which Natasha? Which Olya?

Over time, the Internet came into our lives, and letters became electronic, and then they were completely replaced by ICQ and other other instant messengers. Now in the evenings we can easily smoke a hookah together on Skype, discuss what happened during the day and joke our own jokes that only the two of us understand. The distances have shortened and it’s as if those four thousand kilometers, those forged gates to the former royal court, those rains that do not stop for half a year and that eternal spire on the other side, as if we again live ten minutes walk from each other. The only thing we can’t do via the Internet yet is to sit together on a summer night by a rushing fire, feeling the unknown beyond the circle of light with our backs, look at the winks of the cooling stars and discuss how we will climb this damn peak tomorrow.

Some things are just valuable because of their elusiveness. And sometimes it seems to me that it is not in vain that we live so far from each other.

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