On the eve of the celebrations, we all expect a small miracle: a cheerful mood, vivid emotions and, of course, the fulfillment of our desires. At least in holidays we want to forget about the gray everyday life and feel the maximum attention from others. Are our expectations always justified? Unfortunately no. Instead of beautiful original gifts we often get things that make us frustrated, bored, and even annoyed. As a result, they are stored in our closets for years or given away to friends. By the way, if at the moment one of your relatives has a birthday coming up, but he doesn’t want to celebrate it, use the tips from the article “How to organize a birthday for someone who “does not want it”?” on the site " sunny hands» . And you will be able to surprise and please a loved one!

One fine day, I got tired of this festive despondency, and I decided to approach the choice of gifts more consciously. I remembered my own experience, as well as the reaction of my friends to various presentations, and made many useful conclusions for myself on how to choose the right gift so that I definitely like it 100 percent!

What can't be donated?

First of all, I will talk about gifts that neither I nor most people from my environment like:

• “Soap face” accessories and cosmetic bags are the most common and worst option. They are terribly tired of everyone and are perceived as an excuse, and not as a sign of attention. One day before February 23, my friend's husband prayed: “Better don’t give me anything, but just don’t buy more shaving foam!” On this topic, I recommend watching Rashid Kirranov's video "What to give a man."

  I also want to emphasize that many people are quite picky and carefully select things for personal use. For example, I am deeply convinced that the design of a cosmetic bag must necessarily be combined with the style of a handbag, and the shampoo should match the type of hair. And one of my friends buys only those soap accessories that are in harmony in color with the interior of the bathroom.

All of the above options are the basis of duty gift sets, and if they are excluded, then there are practically no ready-made solutions left. So that the choice of presentations does not turn into a painful problem, I found several worthy replacements for them and successfully use them to this day. I will tell you how to choose a gift that you will definitely like, in order.

Universal gifts. What to give colleagues and boss

The choice of presents for the boss, colleagues and new acquaintances often turns into a problem for us, because we know too little about the tastes and needs of these people. I believe that in such cases, the gift, first of all, should express respectful attitude. It does not matter if it is not original, it is much worse if it is tactless and absolutely unnecessary.

At the wedding of my friends, I saw a stunning ship. They decided not to eat it until the expiration date began to approach. What else can be presented to the newlyweds? Read on the site "Solar Hands" in THIS ARTICLE .

Flowers perfectly replace compositions from balloons. This idea helped me out a lot.. I was going to go to the wedding, the gift was ready, all that remained was to buy a bouquet. In the flower shop, I found that I only had 100 rubles in my wallet. The rest of my money must have been lost somewhere. Since there was no time to return home, I decided to go without flowers. But at the last moment, balls caught my eye. As a result, I bought red hearts, which looked very impressive against the background of traditional bouquets.

Another great option is fruit and food compositions.. They look great, create festive mood and are perceived with a bang by absolutely all people. In addition, they have a huge number of design options. For example, for the chef's birthday, we bought big basket and filled it with exotic fruits: pineapples, avocados, coconuts, mangoes, kiwis. We also put a jar of expensive coffee in it. We packed all this gastronomic abundance with a transparent film and attached a strict blue bow. The chief was brief, he said that no one had ever given him such beauty. By the way, various delicacies can be included in these presentations: sausages, cheeses, smoked meats, etc. It happens that many people say that they do not know how to surprise the same chef, because he already has everything. “What do you give the person who has everything?” - so called article on the site "Sunshine Hands" . Read it, and you will definitely find a present that the hero of the occasion will like!

Another option that I use all the time is the packaging of good coffee or tea. Of course, such gifts cannot be called original, but they are always accepted with gratitude.

Fruit compositions are a wonderful present for high-status people. To please people who have a lot of money, you need to give them something original or cute. Others are unlikely to be surprised. Let me give you a couple of examples from my own life.

Once I had to go to an appointment with a high-ranking official to solve an important work issue. It was on the eve of March 8, and the boss said that it would be nice to give her some kind of present. Too expensive - it is impossible, contrary to the Criminal Code, banal flowers - also will not work, she probably already has nowhere to put them.

Something elegant and unbeaten was needed. Since I was already considered an expert in gifts, this task was assigned to me. After some deliberation, I decided to send the official to a fairy tale. To do this, I bought a medium-sized basket and filled it with red ripe strawberries. I chose the berries very carefully. To make sure of their quality, I personally tasted them. Just before the meeting, I bought a small bunch of snowdrops and placed them around the perimeter of the basket. I relied on naturalness, so I did not use any decorative elements. I put the finished composition in an opaque bag and went to the reception. When I entered the office, I saw a stern lady of Balzac's age, who was clearly not going to stand on ceremony with me. After the greeting, I immediately announced that I wanted to give her a small present from our company in honor of March 8 and put the basket on the table.

There was a moment of silence, a delicate smell of berries and flowers spread around the office, instead of arrogance, a childish tenderness appeared on the face of the official. She began to remove the snowdrops from the basket and called the secretary with a demand to bring her a glass of water under the flowers. This was followed by childhood memories of walking with grandparents through the woods. Naturally, I listened to all this in the most attentive way, with my mouth open. Then they gave me tea with some expensive sweets. She skimmed through the documents that I brought her and decided the issue in our favor.

Another case that I remember was connected with the conclusion of an important contract. The chief found good suppliers, but some terms of cooperation did not suit him. After several negotiations, the matter did not move forward. He established good contact with the owner of the company, periodically met with him in restaurants, but this also did not give the desired results. Since the matter was approaching February 23, the intractable citizen simply needed to be properly congratulated. The boss of the firm we wanted to work with was a roaring bro from the 90s and was very fond of joking. We did this: we bought a box of grenades and attached a pin to each - a key ring, then packed it all in a box and glued the inscription "Ammunition". Our boss had a photograph of a potential partner, and we made a personal postcard for him in Photoshop: we put on a helmet, issued a machine gun, drove an armored personnel carrier and wrote: “May my competitors be afraid of me,” and on reverse side posted congratulations with the hope of fruitful cooperation.

On the eve of the holiday in the morning, all this was sent to him. Toward evening, he burst into our office in a mask with a grenade in his hand and shouting: “Everyone lie down! Proceeds on the table! As a result, most of the employees fell into a coma. After the most impressionable were pumped out, a fun corporate party began. Further negotiations brought good results, although he conceded new partner not in everything. However, the contract was signed. By the way, he put the postcard on his desktop. Of course, similar unusual gifts require a certain courage and - most importantly - self-confidence when you hand them over. Then the hero of the occasion himself will be imbued with the atmosphere of the holiday, something unusual. If you lack self-confidence, study article by Anastasia Gai, editor-in-chief of the Solar Hands portal, “Self-esteem is higher than it, higher! Low self-esteem ruins life .

The third option for universal presentations is gift certificates. They are offered by shops of various specializations, so you can please almost anyone. In cases where there is no time to choose and design gifts, certificates are the ideal solution.

Money

Money - best gift. This expression has already turned into a proverb, and we, without hesitation, give envelopes with banknotes to our loved ones. My mother helped me look at what was happening from an unusual point of view. For some time, it was customary for us to give each other 1000 rubles for a birthday. But one fine day, she told me that these were not gifts, but a loan of money, moreover, on unfair terms. The fact is that her birthday is at the end of August, and mine is at the beginning of October. Therefore, it turns out that I use the money for almost 11 months, and she is a little more than one. After that, we began to give each other real gifts.

I still think that money is a good gift, especially in cases where you don’t know exactly what a person needs. And so that it does not turn into a loan or an annual subsidy, it must be presented in an original way. Then the person will also get bright emotions.

For birthday cousin I decided to give him money in an unusual way. First, I collected contributions from everyone I could, and exchanged large banknotes of 100 rubles. Then I bought a big head of cabbage, hid the money between the leaves, wrapped everything in plastic and hung a bow. At the appointed hour, we came in a crowd to the birthday party, handed a valuable present right on the threshold and delivered the following speech:

“We sincerely congratulate you on your birthday, but since now is a difficult time of crisis, we don’t have money for a good gift. Therefore, we decided to give you this cabbage as a symbol of your future wealth and we really hope that you will not kick us out and let us eat a festive dinner. Knowing my love for pranks, he, of course, let us in and waited for a surprise all evening. But nothing happened and we began to gather at home. And then my brother said: “But I don’t understand what the joke is? Have you really just come with cabbage?” I said: “Well, of course, we immediately admitted that when there is no money, what kind of jokes are there. And by the way, do you want me to show you a goodbye trick? Tear off one cabbage leaf for me. It was then that our surprise was discovered. We then laughed heartily. And so that the crisis is not terrible for you, otherwise financial analysts scare them all, have the so-called reserve for a rainy day. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to procrastinate, and often this turns into a problem for a person. Explore Why can't you save money? on the site "Solar Hands" .

Money is good because it can be hidden in any gift: a box of chocolates, a book, a music CD, a pack of tea, a bouquet of flowers, in general, anywhere. Choose any option that you like.

What to give to friends and family

It would seem that with the choice of gifts for family members there should be no problems, since we know everything about their needs. But in reality it often turns out the other way around. We do not live up to the expectations of our loved ones, and relationships become more strained. The whole problem lies in the fact that we do not want to listen to what they tell us, and we act in our own way.

In our family, there was one significant case that opened my eyes and made me treat the people around me differently. Many years ago at Aunt Rai's, sister my grandmother, the kettle burned down, and she asked her daughter, Aunt Katya, to buy her another one. At the same time, she clarified that she needed an ordinary enameled teapot, the same as the spoiled one. Since all this happened on the eve of her birthday, Aunt Katya decided to make a grand surprise and bought for her mother a new-fangled model with a whistle in those days. When we came to congratulate Aunt Raya, she started complaining to us right from the door: “Just look what she bought me! It's not a kettle, but it's not clear what! There is no lid, it’s dark inside, it’s not clear how to wash, and I also gave a lot of money!”

We all had to listen to these claims for several years, and all this time we did not pay any attention to them, strenuously trying to introduce the old woman to the benefits of our time. We bought her beautiful towels, tablecloths, trendy dishes and other things for the house. She stored most of them in a closet for her grandson, and every time she told him not to waste money. Before the next birthday of Aunt Rai, I remembered the ill-fated teapot and decided to buy her the one she asked for from the very beginning - a simple enameled one. When I gave her this gift, she said wonderful
phrase: “Thank God, at least someone heard me!” To be honest, I felt ashamed of the bunch of things she didn’t need that we bought during all this time. A person of Soviet hardening, whose childhood fell on the war, is unlikely to appreciate whistling kettles, vertical take-off toasters and other modern novelties. Such people need simple and practical things, and it took me about 5 years to understand this. About what to give parents, grandparents on New Year read .

The conclusion is simple - you need to respect the opinions of loved ones and not try to remake them. Then we can easily choose a gift that we will like one hundred percent.

Sincerely, Irina Donskaya.

By the holidays, sociologists revised Jeff Galak, Julian Givi, Elanor F. Williams. Why Certain Gifts Are Great to Give but Not to Get decades of research on giving and receiving gifts. The results showed that there is one mistake that people make when choosing a present most often.

This single misunderstanding stems from at least seven discrepancies between expectations and reality. They can be corrected, and then the recipient will not have to pretend that he likes the gift: he will be truly happy.

The work "Why certain gifts are great to give, but not to receive" by Jeff Galak (Jeff Galak) from Carnegie Mellon University shows that givers usually concentrate on the very moment of giving, they want to surprise with a surprise, impress, pick up what they think suitable only for the recipient.

The problem is that the gifted is important to a completely different thing. And this is more than just a spectacular appearance of a gift from the box. Practical application is important, the use of a gift during its entire service life.

Here are some examples of mismatches between expectation and reality that you can keep in mind and make your gift more desirable.

- 1 -

Instead of gifting tangible things like gadgets and clothes, give the person a new experience or pastime, like a gift certificate to a restaurant or tickets to a sports game.

- 2 -

When buying a gift, we believe that it should bring immediate satisfaction, and we rarely think about whether it will be used in the future. For example, we would rather give a bouquet of blooming flowers, as it looks beautiful and bright. We ourselves would prefer to receive flowers that have not yet opened, so that they please us longer.

- 3 -

It seems to us that the longer we think about the gift, the more pleasant it will be, but, of course, this is not so.

- 4 -

If the recipient has a wish list, then it's best to stick to it rather than trying to impress with something incredible. It seems to the giver that the wish list is too obvious and it is better to somehow surprise with a gift. But the recipient, most likely, will be more delighted with the option from his list.

- 5 -

An expensive gift seems better, but people don't appreciate the value of a gift by its price. A thing can be expensive and useless.

- 6 -

People love to give gifts that show how well they know the person. For example, a gift card from your favorite store. But it is better to give something more universal.

- 7 -

It does not always make sense to give a gift if it is difficult to use or requires additional equipment, even if the item is of very high quality. Buy something simpler, albeit less solid.

Any gift brings joy. This is perhaps its main and undeniable feature. The choice of gifts should be conscious. Each of them reveals the character of the presenter.

Both the packaging itself and its contents betray the ingenuity, imagination, as well as the taste and courtesy of the giver. The real value of the gift does not mean so much, the main thing is that it be dear and valuable to the donee.

Even the most insignificant, but presented with a special meaning, has enough chances to become the most important of all for life and will be remembered for a long time.

Each gift is symbolic in its meaning. Basically, it is aimed at lightly emphasizing some merits or simply enabling a person to acquire something new, unusual, that he himself would not dare or simply did not think to acquire.

If any celebration is planned, for example, a birthday, name day, wedding or anniversary, the contents of the package must be taken care of in advance. Standing at the counter of a store or constructing a gift at home with your own hands, you need to weigh all the "pros" and "cons".

The donation process should not be casual, such as "here, this is for you." Yes, if you are shy, give as beautifully and politely as possible. There is one golden rule when it comes to gift giving. When presenting a present, in no case should you say how difficult it was to find something as a gift and how expensive the purchase of this thing was. No need to tell those present, and even more so the hero of the occasion, about all the adventures. In response, after such a story, words of gratitude and appreciation for the concern and nothing more will follow, then such a person will be seated at the table and his presence will be forgotten. And such a narrative will be regarded as a manifestation of bad manners and sick pride.

It would be nice to know the taste of friends in order to give what they like. It turns out that you need to be able to choose a gift, taking into account a lot: the reason for the gift (a holiday or just a surprise), the age and gender of the person, your relationship with him, the interests and hobbies of your friend. Therefore, if, when choosing a gift, you are looking for something worse among your things that you don’t need, this is not a gift! Bought in a hurry "something" - also not a gift!

It's easier for those who have "golden hands". A gift made especially for the recipient will always be to your liking - whether it be a poem, drawing, embroidery or soft toy. Is your friend a collector? Always a pleasure to add to your collection! Do you know your friend's interests? Then it will be easy for her to choose the movie, book or notebook.

A few mandatory rules that the donor should know:

1. For a birthday, gifts should be given that only the birthday person will use, and not his whole family.

2. You do not need to give something from your collection with which it is a pity to part, you present a person, everyone should feel good.

3. It is indecent to give money to a friend and advise at the same time "to buy yourself whatever you want"; if you really care about the gifted person, then you should work hard and come up with for him the right gift, which will bring joy, and money can look like a sop and can offend

4. Don't give too much expensive gifts, with this you can put a person in an awkward position, unwittingly humiliate him or make him feel dependent on you

5. If you were invited to a house where there is absolutely everything, and your friend cannot be surprised by anything, then give him a golden Gulfstream G650, it will suddenly come in handy do not fall into despair and puzzle over how to get money for an expensive gift, you can give a thing, although not valuable, but distinguished by its rarity and elegance, or witty beat your gift.

6. Gift wrapping is important, take care of a beautiful combination of paper and ribbons.

7. Never regift what was given to you, because someone wanted to please you, nothing happened.

8. In relation to edible gifts, there is an insidious rule - they should be served immediately on the table, this must be taken into account.

9. Live gifts can only be given with the prior consent of the recipient. Otherwise, it will be re-gifted. ;)

10. A gift is not given in the corridor (with the exception of flowers), it is handed in the room, slowly, saying kind words.

11. Do not give playful gifts that can be misunderstood.

12. Well, if the gift is a surprise.

So, what to give, when to give and to whom to give?

Let's start with the last - to whom. Of course, you don’t have to give gifts to everyone in a row, you can make a lot of mistakes. You should not give gifts to unfamiliar people - you will only surprise them with your act.

One of the most difficult questions: should you give gifts to your bosses? Any gift you bring, for example, for your boss's birthday, can be interpreted by gossip lovers as a fawning, as a desire to stand out. And the one to whom the gift is intended can also be put in a very ambiguous position: if you (let's say), an excellent employee, were soon to be promoted to a more responsible job, then after you brought the gift to your manager, he will simply be embarrassed support your candidacy for the nomination. Therefore, it is accepted in exceptional cases (anniversary, retirement, etc.), of course, if the boss and his employees are really kind, friendly relations, to make collective gifts: from the department, from the management, from the sector, etc.

Now is when to give. It is customary to make gifts for family dates - for a birthday, wedding, graduation from school, university, etc. These are easy cases, because it is clear to whom to give and when to give. The issue with wedding dates is a bit more complicated.

The first anniversary is considered a "paper" wedding, the second - "glass", the tenth - "porcelain", the fifteenth - "bronze", the twentieth - "crystal", etc.

In one of the editions of Chevalier's book "Rules for the conduct of educated people" (1918), the first twenty wedding anniversaries each have their own name, and gifts are recommended to be made exactly in accordance with the name of the anniversary. That is, on the "glass" anniversary, give glassware, on the "porcelain" - porcelain, on the "crystal" - crystal, and so on. There are also platinum and diamond weddings. But unanimous opinion, rule theorists good manners have not yet been achieved: some of them consider the sixtieth anniversary to be diamond, others - the sixtieth anniversary to be platinum, and the seventy-fifth anniversary to be diamond.

Nowadays, a silver wedding is especially common - twenty-five years life together spouses, golden wedding - fifty years. However, one should not fall under the hypnosis of beautiful symbols: in silver wedding don't just have to give silver products, and in gold - gold. Although you can give gold to everyone and for all holidays, seriously, no one will be offended.

So we come to one of the main questions what to give?

The gift is chosen depending on who needs to give it - to a friend, relative, acquaintance. It is easier to give gifts to a loved one than to a stranger or someone with whom long time did not have to see. In such a situation, it is easy to understand what this or that person would like, what he most needs.

There is one remark concerning household utensils. A birthday surprise like this would be a little out of place. After many hours of cooking holiday table hardly anyone wants to return to this topic again. Such a gift would be appropriate only for a housewarming party.

Close relatives can be given as something of clothing, as well as various household items. In these cases, a very wide choice is allowed - that is, everything is suitable that does not violate the above general rules about gifts. A husband can even choose a gift for his wife along with her, a mother with her daughter.

A woman can give a close relative a man various smoking accessories, tobacco, wine, a tie, a scarf, a sweater, a shirt. But it is impossible to give toilet items to distant relatives.

All other gifts are divided into two categories: souvenir (books, wallet, wallet, set of pens, key chain and other small items) and valuable - art products, decorations. They are absolutely universal and can be given to everyone.

For a gift, if it is being prepared for the New Year, for the eighth of March and other significant dates, it is recommended to attach either an appropriate postcard symbolizing this holiday.

Books are often donated. You need to choose a book very carefully, knowing at least approximately what kind of books can please the one you want to give a gift to. And one more indispensable rule: never inscribe books! Only the author has the right to sign a book. Any other inscription spoils it. You can put a colorful greeting card with words of congratulations or a business card with a few congratulatory phrases into the book.

At the birth of a child, a young mother expects a bouquet of flowers and a letter from her new father. Relatives and acquaintances in these cases give a stroller, diapers and undershirts, dishes.

Jewelry should be bought with a wide choice: firstly, they can be given to relatives and especially close friends; secondly, it is necessary to take into account the main thing: whether they will suit their future owner (of course, we are talking about brooches, pendants, rings, watches, bracelets, and not about desktop jewelry, dishes, silverware, bowls, etc.).

Fergusson's "Gentlemen's Manual" in the chapter on gifts gives one piece of good advice: a person who wants to be polite must have a notebook in which all birthdays and others are noted. significant dates not only close relatives, but also friends and acquaintances. Thus, none of the holidays and anniversaries will take this person by surprise. If Furgusson lived today, he would write that every person who wants to be polite must have an application on their phone, in which all birthdays and other significant dates are marked not only for close relatives, but also for friends and acquaintances.

Each gift is a mirror of the nature of the giver, even if they try not to show their character when buying. And presenting a gift is not a duty to the hero of the occasion, but first of all a sign of attention and respect for him. Having no free time or completely forgetting about the gift, in no case should you entrust the purchase of a gift to another person. Even a beautifully packaged such a gift, after the giver leaves, will lose all its attractiveness, being in the far corner.

It often happens that one of the invitees for some reason cannot attend the celebration: feeling unwell, a business trip, etc. In this case, close friends are asked to convey apologies, congratulations and a gift. Together with the gift, the hero of the occasion should be sent greeting card. In the event that a loved one cannot attend the celebration and passes the gift through a third party, be sure to thank him by sending him a postcard or letter, and the person who passes the gift. All the words expressed about the present itself are addressed to the same person.

And the last tip: never put off buying a gift until the last day. You need to think about the gift in advance. Then its originality and relevance will be guaranteed.

Tell us how you choose gifts? Do you prepare in advance or save until the last day? How do you feel about gift certificates? Do you tear the package or open it carefully?