Relationships are not always the same at all times. Instead, they can act as a power struggle, when partners seek to satisfy all their needs, controlling each other's behavior. An example of such a dynamic is a man who tries to make excessive and unrealistic demands on his wife or girlfriend. If you understand that this is exactly the situation that has arisen in your relationship, then you can fix it by reevaluating your own expectations, setting boundaries in the requirements that you can fulfill, and still hope for equality in your marriage.

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First, you should ask your husband to talk about what he expects from your marriage. Unrealistic demands can be a sign of a lack of realism in many different aspects of life.

Your husband may be unrealistic in his career, his children, his physical or sexual prowess and degree of freedom, he must thoroughly examine his interests himself. At the same time, you may also be unaware of real expectations and, paradoxically, longing for and indulging your husband.

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If your husband tells you that he has sexual needs, and you do not fulfill them, then you need to listen to him and find ways to improve your intimate life.

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Quite often, quarrels arise due to the fact that professional activity both have the same, and this causes additional demands - and more often from men, since they need to be dominant. Therefore, it is better that you and your companion are of different professions, because misunderstandings and conflicts on this basis will not arise. And if your companion is simply demanding of yourself and those around you, then you need to come to terms with this and appreciate his individuality.

Most women expect that in marriage a man will become their real life companion, will understand and support, and as a result family life will turn into a happy pastime. But it often happens that the chosen man turns into an egoist who "can only demand what." This can lead to disastrous consequences, up to and including rupture. What if the husband is selfish, demanding and arrogant?

The first step, after all, is to understand the reasons for such changes. Indeed, for sure, the husband turned into an egoist not all of a sudden and for a reason began to show "selfishness and exactingness" - these qualities are unpleasant for any woman. Therefore, the answer to the question about changes in relationships should be found and found out - why the husband is an egoist, and not just say that "he is not picking on the wrong, for no reason" and "just got mad at me." Nothing just happens, there must be a reason for everything. This also applies to the behavior of men. Of course, sometimes you can get caught and just under the "hot" hand.

A man is not a robot, he can have troubles at work, quarrels with friends, and just Bad mood... In this case, your inappropriate "cooing" may well run into rudeness on his part. Well, we are all human, and, for sure, there have been situations in your life when your husband also fell under your "hot hand".

Also, such problems may arise for spouses working in the same company. It happens that a man may come to the conclusion that it is precisely his wife's incompetent conduct of affairs that leads to a decrease in profits or earnings. If so, you should listen to his criticism. It may well turn out that she is not completely groundless, and, devoting more time to work, and not calling friends or social networks, you will really bring more benefits to the company, and the result will be harmony in the relationship with your loved one, plus an increase in your well-being.

This reason for "turning a man into a demanding egoist" should rather be seen as his concern for you, for your professional level. It may be true that he decided to gain the favor of another woman, and to belittle you. But in this case, everything is in your own hands. After all, you can appear before him in a new role - the role of a high-class specialist, which will leave your competitor far behind.

Male aggression in everyday life is often a reaction to something you haven't done. Maybe he is not satisfied that returning late after work, tired, he does not find the promised dinner, and plus the apartment is a mess. And as a result, "he is an egoist." Although in this case you are more likely to be an egoist. After all, planning to become his wife, you knew that homework would become more your responsibility. And now, neglecting this, you make the man demand. Therefore, if a man is a breadwinner, then bringing money home, he fully deserves the cosiness, comfort and delicious food prepared by you.

In those cases when there are objective reasons, for example, you are stuck in a traffic jam, you feel bad, then a conversation with your loved one will help smooth out all these everyday problems. Surely, he will understand and tolerate. But such reasons should not be abused, otherwise the next time, instead of understanding on his part, you can get distrust, and this may turn out to be even worse than exactingness. Well, if the indication of the reasons did not help, then explain that you are his wife, not a servant, and you didn’t deserve a boorish attitude on his part.

A quarrel or scandal that has occurred may push you to revenge, but this is not best method problem solution. Escalating a conflict is not the way to repair a relationship. The first step towards restoring relationships, rather, will be to correct all those shortcomings that your husband pointed out to you. And after that, he may well stop "selfishly finding fault" with you. If it did not help, then it means that the reason is somewhere deeper. In such cases, conversation should help. We are not dumb creatures, we are given speech as an opportunity to resolve conflicts.

And the sooner you take the path of dialogue with your loved one, find out all the reasons for his changed attitude towards you, the better the results will be, the more problems you can avoid in the future. But if this does not help, the husband becomes more and more petty, more and more demanding, really focuses heavily on any little things, turning them into a reason for a quarrel or in order to humiliate you, then such an attitude should not be tolerated. In this case, an ultimatum will be appropriate - if this does not stop, then you will leave him. You have the right to be happy, and not waste time on his selfishness, nagging and humiliation.

Today, the more stable are the marriages of those spouses whose fields of activity do not overlap. Thus, it turns out to avoid the transfer of professional conflicts to the home. Family relationships should be based on mutual understanding, spouses should value each other. Only then is harmony achieved, and happiness settles in the house for a long time.

If you have your own recipe for what to do if your husband is a tyrant and selfish, very demanding and arrogant, please speak up!

There are women for whom men are ready to break into a cake. How do they do it? They just know how to inspire their men, stimulate them to feats for the sake of themselves and their families. And they are not always written beauties. But they feel like queens in their souls who are "worthy and deserving"!

A firm hand in a velvet glove

I saw happy families with great experience, in which women gently, skillfully controlled their husbands. Moreover, their husbands were not henpecked! They were strong, ambitious, accomplished a lot in life. Without the inspirational role of wives, they would hardly have achieved such success in life.

I looked closely at how these ladies ruled their husbands. They did not command them, God forbid! They simply set a task for them: “Darling, you need to do this and that. Try, do, help, we rely on you. " And the husbands did what was expected of them.

When a woman is confident in herself and knows what she wants, then a man cannot refuse her. This is called edit " with an iron hand in a velvet glove. "

A woman has the right to expect care, custody, and responsibility from a man. After all, he is strong, he can do a lot, you just need to motivate him, stimulate him! If he chose her from the rest and she became the mother of his children, then he should be responsible for the family. It is only necessary to skillfully place this burden on him.

Why do men love bitches

There are representatives of the fair sex who boldly present their demands to men. Some people call them stinkers. If they just want, they will always find a man who will do what they need. And all because they have a sense of their own worth and significance.

Why do men love bitches? Because they stimulate them, set conditions for them. They go to a man for a reason, for beautiful eyes, but with the tests through which he must go.
A demanding woman motivates a man, makes him grow, rise up, achieve more. V folk tales beauties always set many conditions for applicants for their hand and heart, forced them to pass difficult tests. A man needs difficulties, through them he is tempered, acquires the "highest standard".

Representatives of the stronger sex say that everything they do in life, they do for the sake of a woman - beloved, unique, desired. Each of them wants to have by his side the one that inspires him. For her sake, he is ready to move mountains, to be the best in her eyes, so that she admires him.
Well, if a woman does not demand anything from him, then he becomes uninteresting. Hence - beer with friends, lying on the couch in front of the TV, etc.

Why are women afraid to be demanding

But many women are afraid to demand. Although they may look strong, confident, capable of pulling everything on themselves. But in a relationship with a man, the thought subconsciously sits in them: "I am not worthy, I do not deserve ...".

“A worthy man in every woman’s life is a tremendous value and a reason for endless worries,” explains psychologist Natalya Borishkevich. - Throughout our lives, we are overcome by fears about whether we will be able to meet our prince, and later - whether we will be able to keep him? This fear breeds insecurity in women themselves. “I’m not that good for him” or “I can get bored of him quickly,” such thoughts arise from low self-esteem. No matter how hard we try to do right choice and come up with tactics to keep a man, fear will not disappear until each of us learns to love ourselves. Love yourself first, and then - worthy man».

Her colleague, psychologist Elena Bugachevskaya, adheres to the same point of view: “Women are afraid for their children, they are afraid of wrinkles under their eyes, get fat, and that their loved one will leave, and that there will be no money - yes, yes, of course, but still more that the beloved will leave. Or it won't come. And women are also very afraid not to get married. In Russia, society has different requirements for men and women. A man is obliged to be a breadwinner. It is shameful for him to change diapers to the baby, sit with the child in lines at the clinic and wash the dishes. The fear of losing a man is based primarily on the deep inner conviction of a woman that without a man she is worthless, that she is just an attachment to him. With their mother's milk, Russian young ladies have absorbed the notion that life without a man is incomplete. How to overcome this? Love YOURSELF first and love the man later. Otherwise, he will begin to perceive you as an application to himself, and the application, as you know, can always be changed. In the end, be more capricious, do not be afraid to make demands on men! This will not like it - another will appear on the horizon ... ”.

Become a self-sufficient person who knows how to be happy with herself, regardless of the presence of a man in life. Don't put it at the center of your world. Be the center of attraction for people yourself. Then self-confidence will appear - not ostentatious, but deep, real, which does not need to be proved to anyone. Then the fears will disappear.

Of course, this does not mean that you do not need to work on yourself. Of course you do! You have to be beautiful, attractive, well-groomed, feminine. But not to hold anyone back. And in order to please yourself, with pleasure to look at your reflection in the mirror.
Become a person, a versatile person - so that you are interested in yourself. Then others will reach out to you, including your husband. Because he will be fascinating and interesting with you.

And yes, you have to learn to demand. But! There is important point... We must forever forget about the "scandalous genre", reproaches, shouts, rudeness. All these are just manifestations of an unconscious fear that they will not listen to you in another way.
The power of a woman is quiet, not loud. When you speak calmly and confidently, your partner will feel it. Then your words become weighty. And they obey weighty words.

Talk to your beloved gently and affectionately, then he will not be able to refuse you. He wants you to admire him, appreciate him highly. “Honey, we need this and that. Please do it, earn it, bring it. You can do anything, we count on you. "
And just as calmly, warmly thank you later. Be the woman who doesn't think she might be rejected. The ladies I spoke about at the beginning behaved this way. Communicated with their husbands calmly, sweetly, friendly, expressed their requests weighty - and did not know the refusal.

And if you make demands in an aggressive, scandalous tone: “You have to do this, the other, the third! Why Vasya can, but you can't ?! You always ... You never ... ”, the opposite effect will be obtained. Men hate being humiliated. This causes them resistance and a desire to act contrary to: go to friends, get drunk, not come to spend the night, etc. Or humiliation breaks him, and he becomes henpecked. Do you need it? ..
Better to learn how to stimulate and inspire.

I am picky about women. And I do not hide it. On the contrary, I speak directly and at the earliest stage of acquaintance. Not in order to scare or mimic a brutal alpha. No. It's all cheap posturing.

A man who can give a lot to a woman must be demanding of her.

Do you want to be like a stone wall? Be so kind as to accept all the rules of a man, to follow them. Obey him and not start riots on the ship.

Do you want a sense of security? Then shove your notorious feminine eccentricity deep under your elastic ass and be predictable, reliable and obedient with a man. Without sudden quirks and stupid emotional actions.

Do you want a man to guard, take care of you? Then surround him with such care, warmth, so that he does not even for a second doubt that he is loved.

Do you want your man to be a leader, a leader? Then follow him, do as he said, and don't ask unnecessary questions.

Do you want a man to be calm, reasonable and fair? Then do not make scandals, do not roll up unnecessary grievances. Don't fuck a man's brain for trifles.

Do you want a man to be honest and direct with you? Then get rid of your female manipulators once and for all. If only because a normal man sees them ten miles away, and when he sees them, he sharply reduces the degree of trust in a woman.

Want from a man Serious relationships? Then build this relationship. Perceive a man not as a suitor, admirer, funny lover, but as your man, husband, head of the family. Make sure that the man never regretted choosing you.

Do you want a man to always keep his promises? Then make sure that your promises are always fulfilled by you, and not according to your mood or depending on the hormonal background.

Do you want a man to believe you? Then throw out this vulgar "female mystery" from yourself and become absolutely sincere with your man.

Do you want a man to yearn for you? Become a rest for him, and not another problem, burden, irritant.

Do you want a successful one? Help him.

Do you want kind and considerate? Be kind to him and attentive to him.

Do you want the right one? Be faithful to him.

A man who can give a lot to a woman simply has no right not to be demanding.

The absence of requirements, rules, gives rise to permissiveness, impunity. A woman very quickly realizes that she can behave as she pleases. Chipping off the most stupid tricks. To do the most vile deeds. Change. Mock a man. To humiliate him. Manipulate them. It is often just for fun to see how far she can go. To what extent is she allowed. Of course, we are no longer talking about any relationship. For her, the man turns into a dummy for practicing blows.

Therefore, if a man does not want to drain the relationship down the toilet with his own hands, he must be demanding. Must. It is his duty - the duty of the leader. Otherwise, he is simply not suitable for a normal, serious relationship.

But exactingness does not mean sadism. By setting the rules, a man sets them up for himself.

You demand loyalty from a woman - be loyal to her.

You demand kindness - be kind to her.

You demand honesty - don't lie.

You demand warmth and affection - be caring with a woman.

You demand that she obey you - make it so that she does not fear for the consequences of her obedience. So that she can safely rely on you. Make her know that when she is with you, nothing in the whole world threatens her.

I am picky about women. And they are grateful to me for that.

I am picky about women. And I do not hide it. On the contrary, I speak directly and at the earliest stage of acquaintance. Not in order to scare or mimic a brutal alpha. No. It's all cheap posturing.

A man who can give a lot to a woman must be demanding of her.

Do you want to be like a stone wall? Be so kind as to accept all the rules of a man, to follow them. Obey him and not start riots on the ship.

Do you want a sense of security? Then shove your notorious feminine eccentricity deep under your elastic ass and be predictable, reliable and obedient with a man. Without sudden quirks and stupid emotional actions.

Do you want a man to guard, take care of you? Then surround him with such care, warmth, so that he does not even for a second doubt that he is loved.

Do you want your man to be a leader, a leader? Then follow him, do as he said, and don't ask unnecessary questions.

Do you want a man to be calm, reasonable and fair? Then do not make scandals, do not roll up unnecessary grievances. Don't fuck a man's brain for trifles.

Do you want a man to be honest and direct with you? Then get rid of your female manipulators once and for all. If only because a normal man sees them ten miles away, and when he sees them, he sharply reduces the degree of trust in a woman.

Do you want a serious relationship from a man? Then build this relationship. Perceive a man not as a suitor, admirer, funny lover, but as your man, husband, head of the family. Make sure that the man never regretted choosing you.

Do you want a man to always keep his promises? Then make sure that your promises are always fulfilled by you, and not according to your mood or depending on the hormonal background.

Do you want a man to believe you? Then throw out this vulgar "female mystery" from yourself and become absolutely sincere with your man.

Do you want a man to yearn for you? Become a rest for him, and not another problem, burden, irritant.

Do you want a successful one? Help him.

Do you want kind and considerate? Be kind to him and attentive to him.

Do you want the right one? Be faithful to him.

A man who can give a lot to a woman simply has no right not to be demanding.

The absence of requirements, rules, gives rise to permissiveness, impunity. A woman very quickly realizes that she can behave as she pleases. Chipping off the most stupid tricks. To do the most vile deeds. Change. Mock a man. To humiliate him. Manipulate them. It is often just for fun to see how far she can go. To what extent is she allowed. Of course, we are no longer talking about any relationship. For her, the man turns into a dummy for practicing blows.

Therefore, if a man does not want to drain the relationship down the toilet with his own hands, he must be demanding. Must. It is his duty - the duty of the leader. Otherwise, he is simply not suitable for a normal, serious relationship.

But exactingness does not mean sadism. By setting the rules, a man sets them up for himself.

You demand loyalty from a woman - be loyal to her.

You demand kindness - be kind to her.

You demand honesty - don't lie.

You demand warmth and affection - be caring with a woman.

You demand that she obey you - make it so that she does not fear for the consequences of her obedience. So that she can safely rely on you. Make her know that when she is with you, nothing in the whole world threatens her.

I am picky about women. And they are grateful to me for that.