Probably, most newlyweds do not even imagine what kind of the most difficult periods of family relationships, can there be a complicated relationship in their marriage at all, if they love and value each other so much.

It turns out that anything can happen. Even in the most loving spouses there are the most difficult and most dangerous periods of family relationships, which are sometimes not easy for both spouses to go through.

Often love, affection, mutual respect and other family values ​​win, and the most dangerous periods of marriage can be survived, but sometimes everything is quite the opposite.

Couples split up after several years of marriage, having failed to overcome their most difficult periods of relationship as husband and wife.

Let's see what are the most difficult periods in marriage and the most dangerous periods in a relationship between spouses.

The most dangerous periods in a marriage

Psychologists say that the most difficult and dangerous periods in a married couple's relationship are the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 10th, 12th year of life.

The most dangerous periods of marriage include first two years living together ... It is after the spouses begin to live together and the euphoria of passion begins to oppress everyday problems that many couples break up.

In the most difficult periods of marriage, a husband and wife try to influence their soul mate, trying to re-educate or change her views on the world.

Yes, getting used to each other is not so easy. Each person has their own habits, preferences and desires, and everyday problems and a frequent lack of money can destroy even the relationship of the most loving couple.

The development of children is influenced by animals:

In the most dangerous periods of a married couple's relationship, a very dangerous year for marriage can be attributed - the tenth, because according to statistics, it is after living together for ten years, the spouses get divorced, having lost such an important and valuable component of the relationship as psychological closeness.

It would seem how people who have been together for so many years can part. Yes, they part and very often.

The most dangerous tenth year of married life may coincide with the personal experiences of a husband or wife, which, under the influence of middle age, can cause thoughts about old age, death, about things that I wanted to do, but failed, etc.

The most dangerous periods in the relationship between husband and wife provoke spouses to want to start all over again, changing their lives the way they saw it in their fantasies and dreams.

In such a pronounced alienation, people begin to move away from each other, forgetting how much they once loved. And here is the culmination: thoughts of divorce, and often in fact - a divorce!

Do you want to achieve something in life?

Set new goals for yourself that put your family first.

Try to achieve the set goals together. Be sure to show your solidarity in front of the children.

If you want your children to be happy in the future, forget about your difficult times in marriage, show that you are one. Don't forget: children follow their parents' example, and if they see family problems parents, maybe this model of married life will persecute them too.

And now let's go back to the third, fourth year of married life... Why the most dangerous periods in marriage fall on these years.

The answer is simple. Most families give birth to children after three to four years. Having a baby is stressful not only for a woman, but also for a man.

The newly minted mom is very tired, asks her husband to help. And the spouse, exhausted at work and tired of lack of sleep, tries to explain his condition by refusing to do household chores. Many husbands support their wives, but it also happens when the husband moves away from his wife after the birth of his first child, both in matters of help and psychologically.

In the most difficult periods of family life, namely after the birth of a child, husband and wife begin to quarrel catastrophically often. It becomes a habit. Quarrels begin to arise over trifles, which further alienates the spouses.

After the birth of the baby, due to the busyness of the young mother, the man feels lonely, because all the attention goes to the baby.

Yes, it is difficult to raise a crumb and have time to pay attention to your husband, but this is the only way you can avoid conflicts, quarrels and the collapse of relationships.

In the most difficult and dangerous periods of a relationship in marriage, and 12th year of life of a married couple.

The only question is why, when all the most difficult things are behind us, when there is work, children and there are no significant problems, a family crisis begins in the relationship.

Everything here is individual for each family, but most often people grow cold towards each other. Common themes and understanding of each other disappear.

Between spouses, intimacy is less and less frequent, because the passion that once seethed in all, disappeared somewhere. The midlife crisis also affects the relationship of the spouses.

Allow your soul mate to have privacy. Create conditions for her psychological comfort. Spend time together for vital enjoyable emotions.

Give each other pleasant moments, take care and support each other, value your soul mate and then the most difficult and dangerous periods of a marriage in marriage will pass unnoticed for you.

Be happy!

Represents the period of life together when there is a weakening of emotional intimacy, infatuation and passion. Confusion, doubt, a sense of a dead end arises.

Characteristics of the crisis period

On the one hand, there is an arrangement of common life, relationships. On the other hand, there is satiety addiction, thoughts arise about the doubtfulness of further life together, about the mistake of choice... This inevitably leads to quarrels, conflicts, disagreements. Often spouses cannot even understand the reasons for their occurrence.

The emergence of crises is individual, because each family is unique, it has its own characteristics, rules, traditions. It is difficult to compare families; one can only single out certain common characteristic features for all. Much depends on the behavior of the members of the family union.

There are practically conflict-free relationships within the couple, and there are those in which disagreements arise especially often. But there are such psychologically important periods in family relationships when the danger of conflicts is most likely. One of these dangerous periods is the crisis of 7 years of marriage. Psychologists believe given time kind of a tipping point.

Peculiarities

After seven years of marriage together, a crisis of monotony and accumulation of problems often begins. For 7 years, life has been adjusted. Family responsibilities are shared. A child (children) is growing up. A feeling of routine, emptiness, monotony is created.

A crisis is not born out of nothing. It begins with small strokes that intensify and culminate. The initial symptoms of a crisis: focusing on the flaws rather than the best qualities of the partner, the pressure of everyday life, the weakening of the pleasure of communication.

Fact. During the seven-year crisis of family relations, the number of divorces increases.

Due to predictability and consistency, there is a distance from each other. Interest is losing its sharpness. Conflicts begin. Although this figure is quite arbitrary, individual. Rather, its average value is given. After all, each individual marriage has its own laws of development, features, traditions, characters.

The main signs of the crisis 7 years

During this period, the following phenomena are observed:

• more frequent quarrels, angry statements;
• manifestation of indifference;
• weakening of sexual sensations;
• showing interest in other potential partners.

Usually, after seven years of married life, there is a child in the family, sometimes more than one. Arguments about growing up children are also reasons for family quarrels. There is not always agreement on issues of upbringing. Sometimes children do not live up to expectations and hopes. This can give rise to mutual recriminations. But children can feel their alleged guilt, and this will reflect on them not in the best way.

Advice. It is not necessary to assume that the child does not understand anything at all. It is enough to listen to the stories of adults about their childhood memories to understand that even if now he is not fully aware of what he is observing, this does not cancel his feelings and emotions.

The couple are still beautiful, young. Sometimes there are attempts to try yourself in other ways. At this age, there are many suitable candidates. It seems to the spouse that it is important to feel like a man, to be distracted. And women may wonder: did she choose the one. Others, however, seem better at a distance. The disadvantages are not immediately noticeable. Time will pass, and they will find themselves.

There is a misconception that all the best is behind. Ahead - boredom, monotony, problems. In a crisis of 7 years, it is often a woman who becomes the initiator of quarrels. Drunkenness, drug addiction, beatings cannot be justified. In other cases, there are many compromises.

Causes of crisis situations

1. Feeling of monotony, monotony, too familiar rhythm of the existing relationship. The days are alike.
2. Distance from each other, decreased sexuality. Lack of romance. Decreased tenderness, sensuality. Ignoring the importance of the sexual side of life for men. Weakening the desire to be sexually attractive to the husband.
3. The emergence of disagreements... All the traits and sides of character are already known. Defending their own opinion begins with the infringement of the position of the second half. Satisfying your desires while ignoring the needs of your partner. Inability to give in, compromise.
4. Everyday problems. Mutual reproaches on this basis.
5. Lack of romance... It is especially important for women. Lack or less admiration, crazy deeds, holidays reduces emotional satisfaction.

Coping with a relationship crisis

It is necessary to consider and decide whether the preservation of the marriage is really necessary. And what does the partner think about it. Without confidence and desire, it is difficult to save family relationships.

However, in most cases, the prognosis remains positive. It is necessary to analyze the time spent together, traditions, habits. Among which to isolate the events with the plus and minus signs.

Plus events and facts

• outdoor recreation with the whole family;
• joint trips to the sea, to other places of rest;
• interesting time spent together: mushroom hunting, swimming on the river, visiting sports complexes, cultural events;
• the presence of feelings that you are loved and loved;
• any interesting entertainment: picnics, movies, excursions, cafes.

Events and facts with a minus sign

• dismissive attitude towards a partner during joint affairs;
• receiving reproaches instead of the expected support, praise;
• manifestation of disapproval or envy.

An analysis of everyday life, relationships, reasons for cooling, disappointments is needed.

The surest way is to just talk. Silence only aggravates the problem.

It is important to understand that there is no single person to blame for this situation. Both are always to blame. To be able to admit it honestly to oneself, without shifting all the blame onto the marriage partner.

Important. Without hearing each other, agreement cannot be reached.

Review your own requirements. Cannot or does not want to fulfill the request - different things. Don't cause the need to make excuses. Optimal simple communication and change of scenery. Using the magic words "Let it be your way."

Providing personal space for a partner to fulfill individual needs. Everyone has the right to personal time and space, activities and thoughts.

What is important to take in a difficult period

The following actions will help to get out of the crisis with the least losses, and even possibly with acquisitions:

• talk to each other, discuss any problem in a calm tone;
• not only speak but also listen, and most importantly, hear;
• if possible avoid quarrels, pressure on each other;
• show love and tenderness as before, because not only words are important, but also a look, a touch, a smile;
• make every effort to eliminate displeasure, bring romance and, to some extent, play;
• identify annoying factors find ways to get rid of them;
• calmly discuss, plan, set deadlines;
• set a common alluring goal, save money for it, try to enjoy even little things together;
• distribute family responsibilities by constantly helping each other;
• diversify everyday life and life in general;
• solve all financial issues together, give good advice, discuss the issues of saving the family budget;
• do not blame partner for what he did not have time to do, and praise for what he has already done.

In especially difficult cases, you must contact a specialist.

When there is difficult situations it is recommended to contact psychologists. They will help you understand a specific situation and give individual advice. They also developed general recommendations.

1. If it is impossible to avoid quarrels be able to pause, shut up, write your claims on a piece of paper. During the period of recording and simultaneous analysis, it is often possible to calm down by looking at the problem differently.
2. Remember the happy past... Indeed, at the beginning of the joint path, everything was different, there was a lot of light, kindness, warmth. The feelings that gave birth to the family were sincere.
3. For happiness, you definitely need joint trips 4-5 times a year... Don't forget about the romantic side of the relationship. Trips do not have to be long-distance, because the budget must be calculated rationally.
4. Run away from everyday life and routine, change the environment more often.
5. To a woman, after the birth of children, who devote almost all their time to them, don't forget about husband... To live not for the sake of children, but with them, to remain happy.
6. Kolkikh avoid judgments and resentments, forgive and apologize... This will be subsequently appreciated by the spouses.
7. Take a break from each other... Psychologists advise spending one month apart.
8. To many situations approach with a sense of humor, statements that can upset, translate into jokes.

Psychologists compare marriage to a living organism. As the body develops, changes, sometimes gets sick, so does marriage.

Ways to get out of the crisis

Any crisis has its end. What it will be depends on two.

The crisis of 7 years of marriage exposes weaknesses, points to gaps and shortcomings. There is always a way out.

However, if you could not overcome the crisis, you need to make sure that you really fought (at least six months).

Interesting. The crisis of 7 years is a catalyst that helps to see cracks in relationships, in family life.

Having overcome the crisis, it is necessary to bring relations to new stage development. After all, a period of second love may come. And do not seek to start other relationships without marriage. You just need to take care of yourself, body, appearance, soul.

Having survived the crisis with dignity, the family will only become stronger. The spouses will be able to like each other again. You just need to remember the importance of the following factors:

• communication;
• harmonious sex;
• attention, care, the embodiment of crazy ideas.

The seven-year crisis is a kind of threshold that can be overcome while maintaining a beneficial relationship in marriage. However, you can stumble, having received the harbinger of a big thunderstorm in the family sky. Skillful overcoming of the crisis will give confidence and strength for the further flourishing of relations. The whole future life of the family often depends on this.

Video consultation

Sergey Gudkov talks about the crises of the first, third and seventh years of life.

Incredible facts

Third year of marriage when a couple gets used to each other is happiest, a new study found.

A survey of 2,000 married people showed that in the first year of marriage, couples still experience post-wedding serenity, in the second year they begin to explore each other's quirks and characteristics.

By the third year of marriage, the couple finally accept each other's flaws and characteristics and start planning a family, which further strengthens the relationship.

A study by the law firm Slater & Gordon examined the dynamics of modern married life.

Also, experts found out that by the third anniversary, both sides agree with the financial implications of the barque and combine bills and expenses.

Marriage crisis

However, experts also found out that 5th year of marriage is the most difficult due to fatigue, workload and children. Most of the clients start going to divorce attorneys during this period and subsequent years.

Experts advise couples who begin to experience doubts during this period to think of it as a crisis that can be overcome.

"Often these clients go through difficult period, and after six months all the difficulties will be over, "said the family lawyer and author of the study. Amanda McAllister(Amanda McAlister).

Also, experts found out that The 7th year of marriage is a kind of "wall", and if couples can climb on it, this most often leads to a long and happy marriage.

When the phase passes honeymoon, one in three in marriage declares a lack of affection in marriage, and one in five admits to at times regretting a decision to marry. This is facilitated by factors such as differences in libido, interests, and social preferences in the first years of marriage.

And while one in five admitted that the marriage was not what they wanted, four in ten people surveyed believed they could do something more to improve their marriage.

"People are so overwhelmed in the early years of marriage that they forget that a successful marriage takes effort. There are ups and downs in marriage," McAlister said.

Every marriage is different, but the most successful ones are built on love, respect and joy. Keeping a healthy and vibrant relationship is not easy, but there are some tips to help you keep your marriage happy.

Give your partner the highest priority

Remember, when you first got married, each of you was a whole world to the other. That feeling doesn't last forever, but don't let your partner end up at the bottom of your priority list after kids, work, friends, and hobbies. Remind your partner that he or she is important to you.

Watch your appearance

When you first started dating, you hardly allowed yourself to appear in a stained T-shirt or stretched pants. Marriage doesn't mean you have to allow yourself to relax. Show respect for your spouse by maintaining your appearance, even when you are doing housework.

Don't forget to say thank you

After a few years of marriage, it's easy to take for granted the pleasant things your spouse does, like a cup of coffee of your choice or a neck massage after hard day... Remember to thank each other even for such little things.

Maintain romance

Work, children and other responsibilities cause fatigue and reduce romance and sexual intercourse. Set aside time for dating and sex play. It is important.

Give each other some freedom

Remember that each of you is a unique person with different thoughts, feelings and interests. Supporting and respecting each other's personality makes you more interesting for each other and for yourself.

Set aside time for fun

You can do this as a family or as a couple, and each of you will have more enjoyment of life and marriage.

Love whoever you are with

You’ve fallen in love with the person you’ve met, so don’t expect them to change immediately after marriage.

How to save a marriage?

Talk about what you want

Many people believe that spouses should understand each other without words, but this is not the case. If you have any desire, ask for it and don't make your partner guess.

Live your life

With all the demands and responsibilities that marriage demands of you, it's easy to forget your interests. Support your own interests and you will be happier.

When close relationships begin in our lives, we all believe that they will be special, and all sorts of serious crises and problems will bypass them. Nevertheless, no matter how decisive we are in our intentions to maintain harmony in relationships with a loved one, sometimes problems still cannot be avoided. So how to get through these difficulties with the least loss?

When there is a crisis in a relationship and what are the reasons

When the crisis occurs more often

After the wedding As a rule, after marriage, couples begin to live a family life, which over time has less and less in common with the relationship that was before marriage. Often, the atmosphere of romance disappears, and not all spouses easily cope with everyday life trials. However, even if the lovers had already lived together before the wedding, the stamp in the passport makes some spouses look at the relationship differently. If a man or woman was actually not ready for an official marriage, then he drives them into depression - one of the spouses begins to believe that his freedom has been lost, he has lost his attractiveness to the opposite sex, and so on. After the birth of the child Many married couples dream of having a baby, but not all of them realize what difficulties they eventually have to face. This is especially true for a couple who had their first child, and who previously did not have a clear idea of ​​what it was like to care for a baby. If a child turns out to be restless, then this becomes a serious test for young parents. Infidelity Not every spouse is able to come to terms with the betrayal of a partner. Even if a husband or wife forgives his chosen one (chosen one) and agrees to rebuild relations in marriage, it is not always possible to realize this. Subsequently, past grievances now and then make themselves felt, and in the end they still lead to a crisis.

Possible reasons

Lack of money. Some psychologists are convinced that quarrels over money arise in families in which calculation prevails, or that the husband and wife have unjustified expectations of each other. Nevertheless, it is obvious that it is difficult to maintain harmony in a relationship if there is not enough money for basic needs, like, simple food, payment of utilities. It's one thing if this problem is temporary, and quite another if the situation has dragged on for a long time. Lack of time for yourself. When family obligations and work take almost all the time of one of the partners, and he does not have time for himself at all (careful self-care, meeting friends or relatives, hobbies), then later this can develop into chronic fatigue and serious conflict. Ordinary. By getting married, most couples are sure that they will be able to maintain the ease of the relationship, but over the months, and even more so over the years, this fuse weakens. Of course, some partners still manage to maintain a romantic relationship, making each other various small and big surprises. However, there are much fewer such couples than those who begin to live ordinary and even boring. Life. Unfortunately, many families broke up due to such a banal problem as the incorrect distribution of household duties, or ignoring them. Often, one of the spouses has to take on the lion's share of household chores, which he simply cannot cope with in the end, which leads to a nervous breakdown and relationship problems. It also happens that one of the partners periodically ignores the responsibilities assigned to him, which causes discontent and indignation of his other half.

Is it worth overcoming the crisis in the first year of the relationship or is it better to part

For some couples, from the first days of the novel, everything is easy and simple, but others have to go through many tests in order to maintain a relationship. If you are faced with the second option, then you should consider that many lovers experience such a problem, despite the ardor of their feelings. If you understand that you really love this person, and he loves you, then still give your relationship a chance. In the presence of feelings, problems can arise in a completely different area - a mismatch in outlooks on life, different interests, rejection of each other's habits, and the like. Over the course of a year, many couples learn to adapt to each other, to seek compromises, realizing that all people are different, and this is not a reason for parting. If the disagreements are really insurmountable, and none of you wants to make concessions in order to preserve feelings, then it is better to really break off such an alliance, especially if it lasts more than a year.

What to do if the relationship dragged on, but did not develop into marriage

If such a problem has arisen, and you understand that marriage is really important to you, and otherwise you do not see the further development of the novel, then it makes sense to frankly discuss it with your partner. Of course, you shouldn't talk aggressively with him or try to pressure him to pity, as this will only push him away from you, and he will feel like he is being forced to take this step. are sure that they are ready to break up, if the man still does not show interest in marriage. Having found a convenient moment when the chosen one will be relaxed (for example, on a weekend at dinner), tell him that you have been thinking about your relationship for a long time, and you think that your couple is stuck at a certain stage and has long been ready to start a family. Explain that, despite your feelings for him, you do not believe that you will be able to maintain harmony in a relationship if it does not develop. Note that if a man is not sure that he wants to connect with you in the future, then you do not want to waste either his or your time, no matter how hard it is for you. Do not demand an immediate answer from your partner - invite him to think for a couple of days over your words. If he still does not dare to propose marriage to you, then you need to act decisively - to break off the relationship. Only if you are sure that you will be able to go for it, it is worth starting such conversations. By the way, often after such a decisive step by a woman, a man begins to rethink what happened, and, realizing that he is not ready to lose her, he nevertheless makes a marriage proposal.

The crisis in family relationships over the years and how to cope with it

Crisis during 1 year of marriage

As statistics indicate, many spouses decide to dissolve the marriage in its first year. It would seem that during this period the feelings should be still fresh, but at the same time other problems are formed. First of all, we are talking about a joint life, which turns out to be not at all what it seemed. In addition, everyday issues are gradually ousting almost all passion and romance from the newly formed union, requiring partners to regularly distribute household chores and change established habits.

Crisis 2-3 years in a relationship

Most often, during this period, a replenishment occurs in a young family. In addition, the life of the spouses has just begun to transform - all responsibilities, as a rule, have already been distributed, and the couple lives according to a certain regime. The birth of a child often makes significant adjustments to a well-established life - many plans collapse, many habits have to be abandoned. In addition, after 2-3 years of relationship, usually the spouses begin to psychologically get tired of each other.

Relationship crisis 5-7-10 years

Another period of crisis in relations. First of all, it is connected with the fact that husband and wife are just beginning to fully get used to the role of parents. Problems in a couple may arise due to the child's new social role - he becomes a kindergartener or a schoolboy. If a child begins to have conflicts with peers and elders, then mom and dad often take it painfully. For the failure of a son or daughter, some parents begin to blame each other or the child himself, which, of course, leads to tensions in the family. The absence of children by this period can also turn into a crisis in the relationship, even if the couple believes that they do not feel the need to continue. kind. Although the marriage is stable, financial position well-established and varied leisure, spouses may unconsciously feel that they are missing something. If, however, the couple seeks to replenish the family, but this does not happen, then the risk of a crisis in the relationship increases.

How to cope with a cold relationship with your husband

Common rituals To maintain interest in each other, come up with common rituals and follow them - this will create a sense of stability that is lost during times of conflict. You can go to the gym or to any courses together, walk the dog, cook dinner (at least on one weekend) and much more. It is important that this happens regularly. Talks about the future It is not uncommon for couples who are experiencing a crisis in relationships to stop dreaming about the future, immersed in their current experiences. However, it is during this period that it is important to make plans that you want to implement over time. This will help you realize that the current troubles are temporary, and after some period everything will change. Support If there are conflicts in the family due to some failures of the husband, then try not to feel sorry for him, but to provide maximum support. Even if now he feels insecure due to problems at work or some kind of financial difficulties, do not stop showing him that, no matter what, you are dear to you and you respect him. Listen to his opinion, periodically ask for help in something, so as not to finally undermine his self-confidence. Intimate relationship When a difficult period begins in the family, many spouses begin to concentrate on the problems, forgetting about everything else - including the intimate side of the relationship. Even if you think that you have lost all desire for sex, do not give up this part of married life. Firstly, for sure, you do not want additional problems in the relationship, and secondly, as you know, "appetite comes with eating."

How to get out of a relationship crisis to preserve feelings

Of course, a crisis in a relationship is an extremely undesirable phenomenon for any couple. Each of the partners begins to question their choice and sees it in a completely different light from how it was initially. Remember, however, that this is not a situation in which to jump to conclusions. The most important thing in these moments is to be patient, and also not to forget to look at yourself and your actions from the outside. It is possible that you yourself provoke the chosen one to actions that, in the end, do not triple you. It is important to listen to his point of view on this matter and take it into account. During a crisis in a relationship, it is patience that is essential condition to maintain harmony and overcome difficulties. By showing this quality at critical moments, you will save yourself from words and actions that can only aggravate the situation in the future. Realizing that conflict situations have begun to occur in your couple more and more often, do not fall into despair and do not blame your partner for this - any difficulty is possible overcome. Take your time with rash and radical decisions and remain self-possessed during the peak moments.

Every couple has a difficult period in a relationship.

It is important to realize that many couples experience similar problems. At first, the crisis can even unite partners, but if it cannot be overcome within a year, then this, more often than not, turns into even more serious problems - the relationship begins to be associated with the spouses with difficulties, survival, struggle and, as a result, cause feelings of rejection and negative emotions .Many psychologists point out that if partners do not have shared values, for the sake of which you can unite, then, most likely, they will part - it is easier for them to break the union, since it turns out that solving difficulties together is harder than one at a time. A crisis in a relationship often turns out to be a kind of test for any couple - if the spouses can not stand it this check, it is not always a bad thing. Often, after parting, they overestimate their attitude towards their partner and converge again, taking into account all their past mistakes. It may also be the case that breaking a relationship is beneficial to both parties - they are still convinced that they are better off one at a time than together. However, if the family managed to cope with the problem, then in the future this, as a rule, has a positive effect on the relationship.

The crisis in family life is a concept familiar even to bachelors. Many perceive their manifestations differently, and there are disputes about the number of such crises. Most psychologists say 4 critical moments, but for Russian families they are celebrated 7.

It should be understood that tension in family relationships does not always end in divorce. If you approach the solution of the problem wisely, then you can survive all the troubles. Let's try to figure out how to overcome the crises of family life over the years.

Oddly enough, but the first year of family life is considered a crisis. If you think about it, it is obvious and predictable.

Ended up all the delights of the candy-bouquet period, when everyone tried to show themselves with the best side, impress your partner. After the wedding, the newlyweds decide they can relax.

They enter into a common everyday life with all their habits. Sometimes it seems that a completely unfamiliar person appears in front of one of the spouses.

It is in the first year that spouses learn to live together, share one kitchen, a bathroom in the morning, use one closet, spend quiet family evenings under one roof, and manage a joint family budget.

The reasons for the family crisis of the first year include, as it seems at first glance, completely innocent situations:

• the wife is a morning person, it never dawns, and the husband loves to watch TV until late, and sleeps off in the morning;
• the man does not keep track of things, scatters them anywhere, and the girl loves order;
• The girl likes to spend her free time and weekends in noisy companies, and young man need a sofa and TV;
• a man tries to save money on paying for an apartment, and his wife makes unplanned purchases.

There are many such reasons, and they are all associated with a mismatch in habits and worldviews.

When solving emerging problems, you should not cut it in the heat of the moment. Especially if young people want to keep their relationship. Eliminating controversial issues can be quite simple. A compromise must be found.

There is no need to start by setting mutual ultimatum conditions. It is especially necessary to establish a taboo on the phrase "If something does not suit you, file for divorce!" Otherwise, in the heat of a quarrel, you can hear consent to the proposal. All this leads to an inevitable breakdown in relations. Even if the young people later reconcile, the echo of the spoken phrases will subconsciously return.

The next mistake of the newlyweds is to avoid discussing the problem. In this case, the resentment lurks and a huge lump gradually accumulates, which eventually breaks out. Optimal exit from problem situations- this is pronouncing it.

It is a conversation with a loved one that can solve many problems. Persuasion is a great power.

For example, if a young wife is not satisfied with the fact that her husband constantly throws his things around, then there are three ways to solve the problem:

• collect things and put them in their places by yourself. But this is only if this procedure does not irritate a woman;
• ask, remind, prompt the husband so that he does not forget to put his things and argue the request that he will give this wife great pleasure;
• constantly scold her husband and reproach that he is a slob and does not get used to putting things in their places.

Constant reproaches, dissatisfaction and comparison with someone are a direct path to divorce. No ultimatum conditions can force a man to do what he does not want to do. By such actions, you can achieve a completely opposite reaction.

3 year

The period of marriage of 3 years is the most defining one. At this time, it is precisely determined whether the couple will be together in the future.

3 years - this is exactly the period for which young people have already thoroughly got to know each other, a lot of everyday problems have appeared, and help from parents is beginning to gradually diminish.

In the end, a young couple is left with their problems one-on-one, and often they cannot cope with the emerging problems. After 3 years of living together, each of the spouses comes to the conclusion that all illusions are dispelled, and they see their soul mate as it really is.

Dreams do not always coincide with reality. It turned out that family life itself is not coffee in bed and bouquets of flowers, but a constant household routine. During this period, I already want to change something. For women, this is the desire to have a child in the family. But men do not always share the opinion of their wife.

They are sure that first you need to financially get on your feet. Sometimes the women themselves push them to such a decision, since they constantly hear reproaches that there is not enough money and it is not always possible to buy what you want.

It is not at all a fact that a young man, in principle, does not want children. He is simply afraid that he will not be able to provide for his family in full.

In the event that it is nevertheless decided to give birth to a baby, the crisis may worsen. As soon as a woman finds out about her pregnancy and informs her companion about it, we can assume that a new stage of a crisis relationship has started, even if the child is desired. Everything happens at the subconscious level. The fact is that, following maternal instincts, a woman during pregnancy is completely absorbed in herself, and after the birth of a child - taking care of him.

In this case, the spouse begins to feel disadvantaged, not enough attention is paid to him. He was already accustomed to a completely different state of affairs. The main motto in overcoming the crisis of 3 years is the understanding of the essence of "The family is not me and you, it is us!" All problems that arise are discussed and resolved only together. In the event that the financial situation of the family is not strong enough, both must work. A family budget should be created and spending should be closely monitored. This is almost the only way improve the financial situation of a young family on their own.

With regard to the appearance of children in the family, the desire of both is also necessary. And if a young man does not talk about it, then he is not ready for this.

You should not constantly remind him of this, demonstrate family photos friends with the baby. This will rather annoy him than contribute to the desire to have a baby.

It is better to probe his plans for children carefully and unobtrusively and patiently wait until the young man matures for this crucial step. If a baby appears in the family, immediately start attracting your husband to take care of him. And most importantly, you need to show that your husband is as important to you as the baby.

It is advisable to leave the dad with the baby together more often. He can walk with him on the street or babysit in the evenings. At the same time, do not forget about yourself. Don't let yourself go, take up any hobby while you are not working. Only working with the baby together will you be able to understand how much you need each other and the child.

To overcome the crisis in 3 years, it is necessary to develop joint goals and go to achieve them together.

7 year

The next crisis of family relations, according to psychologists, comes after 7 years. And it is usually provoked, oddly enough, by constancy.

That is, all the experiences of the first years of life together disappeared, a child appeared, a job, a familiar social circle. Family life has already been planned for several months ahead. You know what awaits at home, because each subsequent day differs little from the previous one.

But some married couples compare this period with a swamp or with a coma. It seems to be how life exists, but on the other hand, nothing exciting and progressive. It is at this moment that the spouses have an irresistible desire to change something and somehow diversify their family life. It often ends with the betrayal of one of the spouses. Moreover, this desire appears both in the husband and in the wife.

The only difference is that men do not attach much importance to these connections. Their hobbies start quickly and end just as quickly.

At this moment, men do not think about divorce. But female infidelity is much more serious. They do not decide to take such a step right away, but if this has already happened, then they often end up with a break in family relations.

Overcoming the crisis for 7 years consists in the life principle: do not stop at the achieved result, move forward. Spouses need to think about each other, continue to arrange surprises.

Periodically organize romantic trips, change home furnishings, buy a summer cottage or start building Vacation home... You can do everything you dreamed of, but at first there was not enough time and money. If this is not possible, then at least determine the general hobby.

Let's say take up dancing, but be sure to do it together. But do not force your soul mate to do it through force.

14 year

A less dangerous but more prolonged crisis occurs after 14 years of marriage. It is provoked by the onset of a midlife crisis, which falls by the age of 40.

It was during this period that it was understood that, probably, not all of the set goals were realized. Many people feel pressured by time. That is, it seems that you will not have time to fulfill the plans that have been established.

Problems with children in the family usually fall during this period. By this time they are in adolescence, which is also quite difficult for the child. Acquaintances and friends can not always help and distract from the situation, as they have similar problems.

During middle age, emotional breakdowns are more frequent in people, characterized by the appearance of unreasonable fears, complaints of some deterioration in health.

Women begin to worry about their aging, as well as about the possibility of switching their men to younger women.

In this situation, spouses must build their family life in such a way as to constantly be distracted from unpleasant thoughts and the problems of aging.

It is advisable if, after all, there are friends who can get out of the depressive state. Wives should not unnecessarily dramatize their husband's adventures. Most likely, a lot of things are far-fetched by them. And even if a hobby happened, then it ends very quickly at this age.

If the person is dear, you need to think about forgiveness.

25 year

One of the later crises comes after 25 years of family life. He begins to progress after the children leave the family and begin their independent adult life.

It would seem that the main everyday problems have been solved, there are enough funds, all that remains is to enjoy coexistence. And then, boredom and loneliness begins to be felt. It turns out that building a life together was much more interesting and exciting than using what was acquired in the whole life together.

Psychologists note that if love and mutual understanding reigned between spouses throughout their lives, then the crisis of 25 years may pass imperceptibly or not at all. Problems arise from misunderstanding, from lack of support. If throughout the entire living together love has collapsed, and family friendship did not work out, then a crisis is inevitable.

A woman has nothing to replace the constant care of children, she feels like no one is needed. And in this case, children can help.

It is they who, by caring for their parents, can give them enthusiasm. Especially if grandparents start helping in raising grandchildren. No wonder they say that children are the flowers of life. Grandchildren give a second youth to their grandparents.

In this video, a psychotherapist will tell you how to overcome a crisis in family life:

It is also necessary to independently try to renew relations with each other, to find common ground.

If the funds allow, you can start traveling and try to implement those plans that, for some reason, could not be implemented earlier.

Psychologists say that crises in family life are bound to happen. Some couples experience them quite hard, and some simply do not pay attention to them and subsequently destroy their relationship. What do you think: are life's problems really to blame for divorces and is it necessary to build relationships over the years? Maybe just at married couple there was never love, and there was only a temporary fleeting passion?