In the case when you are 100% sure that you need someone else's husband, how to get him? Turn on your brains and understand that your struggle for his departure from the family, first of all, increases his self-esteem in his own eyes. Do not believe his impartial statements about his wife. Find out the truth. Gather as much information as possible from independent sources. Find out for yourself the main irritants allowed by his wife, i.e. that a loved one cannot bear at all.

Now you know that he does not like chicken, scattered things, endless phone conversations about nothing. Act from the contrary, use the power of the naturalness of your unnatural behavior! You did everything right, but there is no effect? It's time to give a signal that he is very much at risk of losing you. He must clearly understand that everything is developing as it is, only because he is not your husband yet. At the same time, you can’t put pressure on his psyche, behave easily and naturally.

How to marry a married man?

In order for a married lover to get married, many resort to a declaration of pregnancy. He will not forgive you for a fictitious pregnancy, but a real one also does not give a 100% guarantee. You easily run the risk of becoming a single mother.

Try to tell him that you were offered a hand and a heart, but lies also cause squeamish disgust and disappointment. But the real applicant for your hand and heart can work, or, on the contrary, appear in the eyes of your lover as a “deliverer”.

And yet you won and married someone else's husband, in fact, you took him away from the family. He betrayed his wife and children for you. What guarantees can you have that after some time he will not do the same to you? No matter how many years you live, the theoretical possibility of this will always remain. And you will not be able to protect yourself from thoughts about this “possible betrayal”. Do you need it?

It is not for nothing that the people have a lot of proverbs on this subject: “you can’t build happiness on someone else’s misfortune”, “Someone else’s coat is not clothes, someone else’s husband is not hope”, etc.

How to marry a married man video

My very good friend lost her husband. After her, he is already in his fourth marriage, and each wife has one of his children, whom he does not help. His only argument: “I felt that she needed me. She understands me." After some time, "needed" the next. Turn on your brains. Analyze whether you really need this strange husband, because at the same time you made his children and wife unhappy, he lost mutual friends for you, and in life all our good or bad deeds tend to return (karma) to us or our children. Yes, there are rare exceptions. And such marriages are happy, but they are few. What if, while you were fighting for someone else's husband, you missed the only one who dreams about you at night, who is ready to sacrifice himself for your happiness, who does not have a soul in you, dreams of raising children with you, building a house and sees no one else as his wife.

Love relationships don't always work out well. Notorious love triangle unexpectedly arises in the lives of many people, and all participants in this situation consider themselves unfairly deprived. Some women are content with the role of mistress and are not going to change their status. However, traditions in our country are taking over, and women are forced to think about registering a marriage. How to take a married man out of the family: psychology will help you understand their motives and desires. And the advice of a psychologist will tell you how to marry a man without problems.

If a mistress can offer the best option living conditions, a family man, without hesitation, will leave the family. Source: Flickr (GA_Natural_Light)

Relationship psychology: how to take a lover out of the family

Loving a married person is easy. How to register a marriage with him, how to convince him to leave the family? Few people think about morality, because there is a good justification - love. But is it always real love? The wedding was noisy, vows of allegiance were made, family life began. Why do men forget about this and make mistresses? Is it worth trusting a person who betrays his vows of allegiance?

Types of married men

Family men are different. There are those who do not develop communication with their wife due to the catastrophic lack of understanding. And there are those who like to take a walk on the side - to escape from everyday problems and dive back into a cozy family nest.

The latter are a type of eternal reveler, seeking pleasure in life. He feels good everywhere: with his wife and with his mistress. Life is good! Men of this type see in their mistress a source of sexual pleasure, they can give gifts and flowers. But they are not going to divorce his wife and register a remarriage.

Note! Eternal revelers will swear in love, assure the reciprocity of feelings. But it is worth hinting at cohabitation, as they will quickly find a reason for parting.

Is it worth it to spend your time meeting with such a person? Each woman will answer this question independently. However, if you are dating for the purpose of getting married, then all efforts in this direction will be in vain. Pomatrosil and threw - it's about them.

What can be said about a family man who did not have a relationship with his wife? Here situations can be different:

• poor living conditions;
• different temperaments of spouses;
• intervention of relatives on one or both sides.

Oddly enough, but the lack of comfortable living conditions can destroy family relationships. Rented housing, living with parents, the inability to provide for a family - such everyday situations destroy the family idyll over the years. The romantic sparkle in the eyes disappears somewhere, the unbearable severity of domestic problems takes precedence over feelings of tenderness and care.

It is interesting! Often the cause of divorces are conflicting relations with the relatives of the spouse.

The interference of relatives in family affairs, the dissatisfaction of the mother-in-law or mother-in-law can provoke scandalous situations. Often children take the side of their parents and begin to see in their chosen one a projection of the parental perception of this person. In this case, divorce is only a matter of time. Such a man can be easily taken away from the family without any effort. The question is where to meet him?

The different temperaments of the spouses are also the cause of the growing misunderstanding and causeless irritation. They didn’t agree on the characters - that’s what they say about a married couple in such cases. Ardent confessions are a thing of the past, vivid impressions of the novelty of relations have faded - and people are faced with reality. There is no need to blame anyone - just an epiphany.

Usually in such a situation, the wife makes every effort to save an unsuccessful marriage, explaining her actions by the desire to save the father to the children. A man in this situation can behave unpredictably:

• he can leave without paying attention to the exhortations and tears of his wife;
• he can continue to exist in the bosom of the family, if the living conditions completely suit him.

How to be in a similar situation mistress? How to take a married man out of the family? If the mistress can offer the best living conditions, the family man will leave the family without hesitation.

Do married men leave the family? The psychology of a family man is very different from the psychology of a bachelor: he knew all the delights hearth- good and bad. A married man is accustomed to home cooking, self-care and spending time together in the family circle.

Also, a married man learned the shadow side of family life - reproaches, claims, material pressure and boring housework. Therefore, the approach to it should be appropriate: with an understanding of the characteristics of psychology.

What not to do:

• you can not use the old remedy "traces of lipstick on a shirt" in the hope of causing jealousy and anger of his wife;
• it is impossible to force him to leave the family, using the more frequent scandals with his wife on the basis of jealousy;
• do not try to put an ultimatum "either I, or ...";
• you can’t use a man as a vest for tears and complain about an unsettled life;
• you can not ask for financial assistance and complain about the lack of money;
• do not try to make scandals for him - he also experiences this happiness in his family.

What do we have to do:

• ask for help setting up a computer or bringing a new sofa to the bedroom;
• arrange a joint trip to the zoo with him and your children, get to know them;
• talk only on pleasant topics, do not touch on problems;
• you can sometimes arrange a small scandal, but on the topic of love and fidelity.

Having experienced all the shady sides of being together, family people are looking for a calm haven. Psychologically, a man is arranged especially: he tries to avoid stressful situations associated with solving numerous domestic issues. The wife's tantrums on every occasion stretch the nerve strings, and after a certain time they simply burst.

How to use this situation for your own purposes, how to take a married man away? Just give him a rest psychological relief. Let him feel that with you it is easy on the soul and heart. Let him remember that life is not a string of endless problems and stress.

Important! The family is a community of two souls and, above all, pleasant communication. Many women in the hustle and bustle of everyday life simply forget about it.

Everyone knows the main way to a man's heart - to feed, caress, and leave alone! Delicious food is more than half the success in "taming" a married man (he is used to homemade food). The second half of success is not to strain nervous system redundant requirements.

But what about sex? It is the lack of sex that makes married men look around. Therefore, it is necessary to pay special attention to this side of the issue. If a man looked in your direction, it means that borscht alone was not enough for him. Take advantage of this fact, act prudently.

Note! How to beat off a married man? Turn intimate meetings into a joyful and exciting event.

How to bind a married man? Your task is to show that it is with you that his life will turn into a Garden of Eden, it will become interesting and comfortable. Remember that men do not like to be pushed around and used as "workhorses" around the house.

The lion's share of a woman's attractiveness lies in her confidence and awareness of her superiority over her rival.

If he is married. How to love him?

One psychologist writes: "I don't have affairs with married men because I don't want to suffer." She does not want to suffer - this is a good reason, but I think it is less good than, for example: "I do not want to cross the path of his wife" or "moral principles hold." With the same success, you can refuse to love someone else. Opening to a strong feeling, in any case, we become more vulnerable. After all, even if a man is single, the risk that " love will pass”, and he never marries you, there is always.

In my opinion, giving up something in this life is reasonable only when either "it" is not worth it, or, in your opinion, you are not worth "that". In all other cases, voluntary rejection of what is desired is cowardice and indulgence of one's fear of "being afraid to suffer."

What to think about, if he is married

If he is married- think about why you need it (I say: just think, and don’t throw it away). It's one thing when you honestly admit to yourself that you need him only for love, sex and for the soul. But it’s completely different if you still have a back thought to get it for sole use. Oh, this is a dangerous desire. And not because it quickly materializes. Not! It is dangerous because it is instantly written on your face and pushes you to all sorts of nonsense.

Do not want to lose a married man, think only about the good. For example, about how good be loved and desired a woman who nevertheless has no obligations to anyone! If you can't think like that, then it's certainly better for you to lose him.

Book by Anna Yakunina

MAIN COURSE

Since you have landed on this page, then most likely you have fallen in love with a married man.
You suffer, but you need it.

You do not know what to do and no one supports you, but you really want to marry him.

If you are dating a married man, then at least in the last month you have probably come across the fact that

You feel like you're not in control

Do you often fall asleep with feelings of loneliness and tears

You are going to have a serious talk with him, but you still don’t find the courage and time for this

You hate the moments when he looks at his watch because it's time for him to leave.

You try to change something, but everything again turns out the way it is convenient for him

Do you feel judgment from people

He has another life that you don't know much about.

I understand you very well.

My name is Anna Yakunina and I have been dealing with this issue for over 13 years. It so happened that I was married for the second time and both of my husbands were married at the time of our acquaintance. Today I have more than a thousand readers and more than 200 clients.

I found for you efficient technology how you can change your life painlessly for both parties and really reach your goal.

Imagine that you have achieved your goal and now you feel that life is full.

You wake up in the morning good mood, you feel lightness, and your beloved man is nearby. He's not going anywhere and you know for sure that he's not going anywhere.

You live your day with the realization that there is a family in your life, there is a place for care, love, pleasure, spiritual harmony.

In the evenings, you think about what to cook for dinner for your loved one, about plans for the future. Your life is filled with desires and aspirations. You are close to your loved one and life is full of meaning.

You have thrown off the load of unresolved problems.

Hundreds of women have already taken advantage of this opportunity and have seen long-term results.

90% of those who completed the full course of study (read books, completed all tasks Workbook and spent individual work) are already living living together with your beloved men. And these are concrete examples!

Zhanna, 34 years old asked me for help three years ago. At that moment, her relationship with a married man reached a dead end, Zhanna did not understand herself, did not understand her partner, and it seemed to her that the situation was completely hopeless. For 2.5 years of work, Jeanne has become a self-confident woman, a harmonious and peaceful nature, whose man (now the official spouse) considers his second marriage the most correct act in his entire life.

Irina, 24 years old this year she married her chosen one after 3 years of meetings. The man was married for more than 10 years and Irina herself could not believe until the last that her happiness had finally become possible. Working with Irina took a little over a year.

Here is a review from a client we are still working with:

“I got acquainted with the books of Anna Yakunina 6 months ago. After reading it, my eyes were opened to the understanding of how many opportunities I was missing. Simple things are described in simple and accessible language. I realized that I would not lose anything if I trusted Anna and followed her System. Today, I can say that I have stopped tormenting myself and having a constant internal dialogue that exhausted me every evening. I found peace and this could not but affect our relationship with a man who, unfortunately, is still married. He began to see in me a mature woman capable of love, I stopped demanding, completely changing tactics to presenting my desires. Now the man is worried about how he can fulfill them. Of course, he has not yet made the most important decision, but I have such a long-awaited sense of satisfaction from our relationship, because I learned to control them thanks to the system of Anna Yakunina. I feel like I'm on the right track."

A few years ago, I was in a situation where failure was replaced by failure, I, like you, spent days reading a lot of articles on the Internet, spent a lot of time and money on various trainings, went to psychologists, tried to find peace with my friends, relationships with parents became everything is more difficult. Just like you, I constantly thought that I was doing something wrong, did not know where to find the right answers and doubted whether they even existed.

And, of course, many of the causes of my suffering lay in a man (I thought so). Since the man did not want to change, the circle closed, and there was no way out of it.

He always avoided direct answers to uncomfortable questions. Because of this, my life was like a constant internal struggle, I was haunted by a feeling of dissatisfaction and understatement.

Attempts to bring our relationship to a new level were unsuccessful, the huge force of resistance on the part of the man did not allow this to be done.

Years passed, but nothing changed.

My hands dropped, I began to think that you can leave the relationship as it is. But after a few days, the desire for a normal full life and family returned and did not allow me to accept the situation as it is.

Now I can say with all confidence that there is a way out! My path was difficult and long. But for you, I have summarized all the knowledge and skills in one simple System.

You can get out of this situation!

Even in spite of a large number of information on the topic of relations with a married man, the problems remain:

In 99% of the courses there is nothing useful. They offer not a solution, but a set of disparate skills and abilities. specific people that do not apply to you. 99% of the courses contain a lot of unnecessary information and little that you really need right now.

99% of the information on the Internet does not offer a solution, but describes why it should not be done.

And you are not to blame for the fact that it does not suit you!

Well-known advice is given on the Internet, the most common of which is not to mess with a married man (very useful, isn't it?), at trainings they tell you about tricks and tricks from which your head is spinning, since you cannot put it into practice.

Even this brings you short-term peace, but the very next day you realize that everything has remained at the same level and there are no changes.

Are you tired of all this?

No one can simply and clearly answer the question of HOW TO MARRY HIM.
Therefore, I decided to create something else for you - a System where everything that you really need is clearly and understandably presented.

There is no place for tricks and tricks in my system. It is built on internal serious work. I give you a vector that, thanks to your efforts, will bring your relationship to the desired level.

The book was titled “Marry a married man. 5 steps to achieve the goal without suffering and disappointment for both parties

Each step is a separate independent value and together they make up a system.

You will receive not just a book, but a step-by-step instruction, where it is clearly and clearly shown what and in what sequence exactly you must do in order to achieve the goal.

You will no longer have to spend money and turn to trainers and psychologists, you will not have to waste time and attend expensive courses.

Using 5 steps you can do everything yourself.

The book presents all the information in a simple and understandable language for any woman.

In this book, I will reveal to you the secrets of HOW to become happy next to your lover and marry him.

You've probably come across the iceberg theory before. It works great in our case too.

The iceberg theory says that knowing WHAT to do is only the tip of the iceberg (exactly what trainings and articles on the Internet offer).

The secret is to know the answers to the question - HOW to do it?
The answers to the HOW questions are at the bottom of the iceberg and represent 80-90% of its size.

It is to questions HOW you can find answers in my book.

Introduction.

1 part. Awareness of your love

2 part. Acceptance of self and man

3 part. Creating the Value that all men without exception are looking for

4 part. How to become yourself and define a man his own place in your life.

5 part. Lose to Gain (Departure and Marriage)

In the water part you will learn:

why information from the Internet, from friends and coaches does not help you

why we will not consider the topic "Is it worth it to love a married man"

how to enjoy the process of "acquiring" a man

In part 1 you will learn:

what determines your choice of this man and how it affects the development of your relationship

how to gain control over relationships, as well as the confidence and certainty that you so lack

stages in a relationship with a married man. You will determine where your relationship is in order to know the starting point from which our path begins with you.

how to increase the number of factors connecting you

we will consider the reasons for the relationship with a married man

consider the situation when a man becomes "everything-everything-everything"

is it true that you can’t love anyone else like that and the reason for this phenomenon

idealization by partners of each other, dangers and pitfalls

start of partnerships

Part 2 reveals

acceptance is the cornerstone of your success. I give concrete tools of acceptance.

what we do not accept in another person. The trait of a person is not the whole person

exercise Reflection, which will help you better understand your feelings

In part 3 we create value

the secret of the well-being of any family

an energy-generating exercise only available to a woman

first we find harmony, then we start solving problems. Or "How not to take out the brain of a man"

three brain theory

the importance of respecting male/female roles. How to manage without using male roles.

by part 4 you get stronger. You will learn:

who can always and in any situation take care of you

giving up the habit of thinking, especially for a man

ways to calm the thought process

presenting your wishes to a man required condition your happiness

5 part. Part of the solutions.

when a man leaves the family?

is that the man?

the realization that as it is now can continue as long as you like.

your decision to change the situation

stop fighting and proving

creating conditions under which a man is aware of the need to make a decision.

situations in which in no case should you go to part 5. What to do in them.

decision making by a man. His choice is between life with you and life without you.

Before I answer this question, please answer:

How much are you willing to pay to marry your beloved man?

How much are you willing to pay to wake up next to him and know that he will not go anywhere else?

How much are you willing to pay to raise children with him?

How much are you willing to pay for happiness and harmony in your life?

Whatever amount you name now, it will still be several orders of magnitude less than the value that you will receive by putting 5 parts into practice.

But, nevertheless, the cost of this unique System for you today is 9900 rubles, only 2970 rubles.

This will be your best investment in yourself.

I don't promise you that it will be easy.

It will be difficult. You will have to do the work and accurately complete the tasks that are contained in the book. You will often have to think about the purpose of getting married, and not about why he did not call today. You will have to take responsibility for your happiness and, following the parts suggested in the book, move towards it.

If you want a simple solution - you can continue to suffer and cry at night, setting yourself tasks for next year change your life, but everyone New Year he will spend with his wife, and you, at best, with a girlfriend.

The decision to change the situation must be made right now and then soon

you will have a family

you will have confidence in the future

Your days will be filled with pleasant expectations

You will forget about loneliness and insecurity.

We were brought up in such a way that we are trying to change circumstances, instead of changing ourselves.

But circumstances are just results. There is no point in changing the result, it has already happened. And you know it well.

It is necessary to change the reasons that led to this result. And all the reasons lie in your actions / inactions, and more precisely in your thoughts.

Until you change, nothing will change!

This should be your motto from today.

Your main task is to become happy, as the unfortunate, as a rule, do not marry!

You can leave it as it is or read this book.

Your life will never be the same again, because you will gain confidence, peace will come in your soul, you will take control of your relationships and they will depend on you. You will gain more freedom because your thinking will change forever.

Even if you read the book only once, you will already be able to:

take control of the relationship

get a sense of certainty

get rid of dissatisfaction

If your relationship is not developing right now, then it is dying.

Today just one solution, in 5 parts can make you happy married woman as has happened to many of my clients.

According to statistics, a relationship with a married man lasts 5 years.

In 5 years, you will think: if I had made a decision then, where would I be now?

Imagine being single and knowing that if I had made a different decision 5 years ago, I would be happy now.

What are you postponing?

you put your a good relationship with the man you love, you put off your happiness.

And only because no one taught you to believe in yourself!

And I believe in you! The best thing I can do for you is to help you decide to take care of yourself with the help of the System developed for you. This hello you to a happy life

In 5 years, you will remember this decision with pride in yourself.

I know that doubts hold you back, but only by overcoming them we develop and become truly happy.

After all, happiness is when you build relationships and you get them when you see the results of your own labors.

Not everyone is capable of this, not everyone can go all the way and cross the finish line.

This task is not for mediocre people. That is why there is an opinion that thousands of men who have mistresses do not get divorced.

Now it's time for your deep work on yourself.

Only by clearing the blockages of emotions and feelings inside yourself, and putting everything on the shelves, you can help yourself. And not only for yourself, but also for your partner.

I believe in you! You will definitely succeed!

I, Anna Yakunina, guarantee that your life will change and become better. I will guide you to the end!

If you feel that you have wasted your money, I will refund it to you!

You just need to write to technical support.

What to do
now?

Click the button below:

1. The relationship has been going on for so long that I'm not sure if this is the right man, if he really suits me.

Trust yourself. Since you are still with him, it means that there is something that is important for you in a relationship with this particular man. Without the support of family and girlfriends, without knowing the intricacies of the psychology of married men, we often begin to behave differently than the mind suggests. Emotions and feelings of frustration (not receiving) control you more often than you would like. I am sure that you will soon understand whether this is your man, using the System developed for you, set out in the book "Married to a Married Man."

2. A man does not want or is not able to make a decision, everything suits him. How can reading a book help me when he won't change?

Your man is quite capable of making a decision and he has already made it - to stay with his wife and with you. And this is worth recognizing. This decision does not suit you, so my first task is to help you.

However, in the book we consider such technologies that will help to change not only you, but also your partner. Only you will take the course, and its transformation will occur thanks to you.

Given in the book step-by-step instruction how to create value from your relationship, which it will be very difficult for a man to refuse. You will create conditions under which he will have to make a decision. But his choice will no longer be between his wife and you, but between life with you and life without you.

3. I know that a man has a very worthy wife. I'm afraid that I don't stand a chance

If you directly compete with his wife, you absolutely have no chance. Your task is not to be better than his wife, but to be yourself.

The fact that his wife is a worthy woman is a reason for you to move your brains better.

Trust your man - he chose you and there are reasons for this. Thanks to the proposed System, you will know exactly why your meeting took place and what are your connecting factors.

You definitely have a chance to become a confident and strong woman! This will help to form in your relationship Attachment that a man cannot refuse.

4. My man cannot leave the family anyway, as he has small children.

My task is not to read morality to you, this is a purely personal matter. My task is to help when it seems to a woman that the situation is hopeless - she cannot be with him, but she cannot be without him either, relationships last for years, everything known ways already tried and nothing helps.

The path that I offer you will allow you to free yourself from the accumulated uncertainty and become internally free. You will gain control over your relationship and it will be up to you to continue it or not.

Our mission is to make you happy. If you can be happy those few years while his children grow up, why not. If you bring yourself to a psycho during this time. hospitals are another matter.

After completing a course on my System, you will in any case become stronger and more confident, and your partner, believe me, will change too. The first four parts of the system are devoted to this. Before the 5th part, you will objectively, already in a new capacity, be able to make a decision for yourself - how to proceed.

In any case, there is no point in waiting. Your task, as in any family life, is to develop your relationships, strengthen them, create affection.

It is these technologies that you will learn in the process of reading the Book and completing assignments.

5. I have been dating a married man for half a year and we have a very harmonious relationship. I respect him family life and I don't want to destroy it. How can the book be useful to me?

The conflict of the universe lies in the fact that a man, having a mistress, never thinks about divorce (for a man these are not interconnected things), and a woman never sees herself as an eternal lover. Therefore, in a relationship with a married man, conflict is at the core of this relationship. The sooner you accept this, the less losses you will get out of the situation.

In the Book, we look at the stages of relationships with married men. According to statistics, the desire for "more" occurs in a woman after about 1-1.5 years from meeting a married man. The main problem is that these stages of relationships do not apply to men. Their life can flow harmoniously for a year, and three, and five, and ten, and even thirty.

There has never been a case in history when a woman was satisfied with a situation, and a married man would go crazy because he was married.

As long as your relationship is harmonious, you have a unique chance to prepare yourself for the next stages. It is unique because your state of mind allows you to go through all the parts better and reduce the time to complete each part.

Believe that there will be problems. In order to start solving them, it is not necessary to wait for a crisis. Having passed the first 4 parts, before the 5th part you will be able to consciously make any decision that will correspond to your state of mind and your ideas about morality.

6. We have been together for many years, we have a huge affection for each other and I know that I am an important part of his life. But he also cannot part with his wife. We often openly discuss this issue, but there is no result. How can your book help me?

Men are so arranged that the very fact that they feel good with another woman is not a reason for leaving the family. Moreover, as a rule, men do not even have such thoughts. They feel good both at home and with you.

The secret is that a man leaves the family if and only if he realizes that he can lose you. We talk about this in detail in Section 5.

However, this tool can only be used once, maximum twice. In order for it to be effective, serious preparation is needed, which is exactly what the first 4 parts are devoted to.

7. Why the book is called 5 steps to achieve the goal without suffering and disappointment for both parties. In my opinion, in a relationship with a married man, there are at least three sides.

I see my main task in helping a woman in whose life there is a hopeless situation in relations with a married man, that is, you. The book describes a System that will allow you to become a strong and self-confident woman, sort out your feelings, gain control over relationships and achieve your goal.

So it turns out that your transformation cannot go unnoticed by your man. After all, Attachment will be formed between you and a man. And the value you create will unite the two of you.

Moreover, when a woman begins to use the tool of Acceptance, a man's life is transformed, and he himself changes right before his eyes.

As for the third party, the wife, one of the first secrets that I reveal in my book is as follows:

“In order to marry a married man, as well as an unmarried man, and also to return the husband to the family, the same mechanisms work.”

Therefore, a woman who wants to return her husband to the family can also use my book. I have a lot of experience, including with wives whose husbands made lovers. In such a situation, the same mechanisms really work.

Copyright. Anna Yakunina, 2014

She is not free internally, and therefore is not ready to enter into a serious and permanent relationship. A strange, busy man just right. Such a man is the guarantor of freedom and "connection with the pope."

A woman subconsciously benefits from such a hopeless relationship. According to statistics, if a man does not end his relationship with his wife in the first year of a relationship, then he is not going to end it, but is going to have fun.

Such a woman is often not ready for serious relationship and the risks they bear. She has not matured yet, therefore she wants abundant attention, adoration, romance, like in a fairy tale, and eternal love and life not overshadowed. Wishing you a holiday every day.

By the way, this same lover, also apparently not quite mature. At home he has a “mother”, and he walks with you.

How can an adult hide, hide, lie? Play spies, business trips, meetings, or assign male names to a woman? Who behaves like this? Teenagers. It gives them pleasure. (Smoke in the entrance so that mom doesn’t notice later). But how long will it please a woman? How long can she withstand such disrespect?

And what to do with the humiliation that every woman faces in such a relationship? He is forced to cover his tracks, or rather erase them. I heard different stories and that before the meeting you can not use perfume and lipstick. And that a man always washes himself before leaving. You have no right to trace in his life. You just don't exist.

Some women prefer to "fight for their happiness." Divorce him from his wife and marry him to himself. Where does such a need come from? Why do you think that happiness can only be earned by fighting and fighting? Why do you perceive his wife as your rival, as an enemy, hate her, consider her an evil witch, from whose hands great love suffers? Most often, the wife does not even know about your existence. You seem to take revenge on her, humiliating, towering over her. For what? Think about why you want her to suffer? Is it because you were once hurt and you want to inflict the same pain on another? “Often, grown-up daughters, deprived of the attention of their fathers, feel deceived. Deep in their souls, anger smolders. Norman Wright.

Just imagine - an adult, self-confident woman is fighting for her happiness? This is out of the question.

Some women say that a drop of happiness in such a relationship is worth tears and misfortunes. And why do you think that you deserve only a drop and such a surrogate happiness? After all, the love of a man is not only enthusiastic looks, compliments and unrestrained sex. It is the willingness to take responsibility for you and your future together.

Who are you competing with, why did you decide that you should become the best for this man and outrun his wife? Why are you deliberately stealing from yourself by forgoing a healthy and mature relationship?

Why do you choose a supporting role, what is the benefit? Try to understand. Do you really want all this? What is your soul telling you? She knows the answers. And do not be led by naivete, weakness and romantic desires. These are bad advisers.

Sometimes in such relationships there is no love, but there is sponsorship.. Far from being a young man, he pays for your "disposition" with money. And acts as a kind of "daddy". Only here is the only point, you have to pay with yourself. And what to do with the feeling of emptiness and the feeling that you have been taken advantage of?

Why are you ready to give all of yourself, your love, time, your body, your life, finally, where does it come from? Why such a low price? After all, no gifts and beautifully spent time will pay for what you give. “The balance between giving and taking is the basic condition for a relationship to work.” Bert Hellinger.

A man takes too much in such a relationship. Most importantly, he takes your life energy, thanks to which he continues to build his life, his family, his business. And he pays off with gifts. This is at best. More often than not, he considers meetings with him gifts.

Why did you believe in the fairy tale about the fact that the wife is bad, does not appreciate him? Why did you decide to save him from an evil misunderstanding wife, to understand, appreciate and love. Why do you want to be good? Forget about all your needs, if only he was well.

Do you believe he's not leaving because of the kids? Remember: people do everything in this life for themselves first of all, and he does not leave because of himself, and not because of the children.

And how can you live constantly with the question: When will he leave his wife and come to me? You know, it's like the story of people taking care of old people to get their property. In fact, they are waiting for them to die. Imagine carrying this kind of thought in your head. An adult has the strength not to wait for someone else's, but to take, earn, get his own.

And what to do with the negative emotions that are deposited in your soul and heart? Pain, resentment, irritation, anger, envy, expectation, jealousy for his wife and children. Why do you need so much suffering and black feelings, humiliation and a feeling of being second-rate and inferior? After all, this causes a very serious injury to your femininity, corrodes your soul and your self-esteem.

And what to do with your own cleanliness, cleanliness? Or do you believe that he does not have sex with her? Can you really treat your own body like that?

Or are you afraid to be alone Is it not this fear that pushes you to such a connection? Now look at your relationship, and honestly answer yourself the question: Aren't you alone? The fear of being alone is a childish fear.

Do you know why they say that marriages built on the tears of a wife do not lead to anything good? Not because God punishes or someone else. The woman punishes herself. When we do something bad, of course, we can convince ourselves that there is no longer a family and so on, but it is not possible to convince our soul. There is a feeling of guilt. And guilt always requires punishment.

When you date a married man, you refuse to grow up. Both painful experiences and emotional suffering are evidence that you are going the wrong way. After all, love and relationships are, above all, happiness for a woman.

You may have experienced the departure of your father from the family or his death, the divorce of your parents. And you are afraid to experience these emotions again. Fear makes you choose this type of non-serious relationship as a safety net, but look what you are experiencing - all the same painful emotions.

Perhaps your relationship with your father did not work out, maybe he was absent, he was harsh, you did not receive enough warmth and his affection. Deep down you have decided that you are not that good and you have come to believe that you do not deserve happiness, so you think you are not worthy of a healthy relationship and a fulfilling life.

“When the memories of our childhood are especially painful, we often experience a subconscious urge to recreate similar situations, but this time to master them.” Robin Norwood.

But is it possible to change the past? Can they be mastered? No, an adult woman has enough strength and determination to leave her past and move forward, taking responsibility for her actions and decisions. And cease to be circumstances and men.

The past is no more, it has no power over you. You can be free from it and start living your life.

Any movement forward is possible when you give up claims, resentments and the desire to replay your past, and truly give thanks for everything that you received from your parents and from your father. Only in this way can you become free for a close relationship with an adult man.

"If we accept our parents as they are, we accept our life". Bert Hellinger.

Then you no longer want to waste your life waiting for happiness, and you will understand that a non-free partner is not your way. And you are not afraid to be alone. After all, you need time to think about what an adult woman wants to get from an adult relationship. You need time to remember to respect yourself and believe that you are worthy of being the only one. After all, this is a very natural desire of any woman!

But, if it so happened that the man left the family and connected his life with you. Here's what you should always remember:

“In the fulfillment of love, a bond arises that cannot be broken. Therefore, the second connection can only arise if the first connection is recognized.

What does it mean to acknowledge? This means agree that you got your husband because the first wife gave way to you. And you are the second wife. There should be no hatred, anger towards the previous spouse. Only gratitude and recognition.

“Knowing that you are indebted to previous partners and will always be a step below can become the basis for a successful relationship.” Bert Hellinger.

You can perform this ritual: in the evening, light a candle in honor of your husband's first wife. Inwardly look at her with respect and love. And then bow deeply to her and say, "I pay you my respects."

This is how we had a difficult, but, I hope, useful conversation.

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Tatyana Dzutseva

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