In the last piece is the very strength, eat it up, otherwise you won't grow it? What is the threat of such an approach to nutrition - we say in our article.

We all want our child to get the very best. And the question baby food confidently occupies the first lines in this huge list of parenting concerns and concerns. It is necessary for the child to eat a lot, often, on a schedule, and only what knowledgeable parents give him. But this approach very often, on the contrary, can harm babies. And that's why.

Food is no longer just food

Blackmail (“You won’t eat, you won’t go for a walk!”), Threats (“You won’t eat soup, you’ll stand in the corner!”), Speculation on feelings (“Why don’t you eat porridge? Mom tried, cooked porridge, but you don’t eat ! Do you not love your mom ?! "), bribery (" Eat this carrot salad, and I will give you cartoons! "), Intimidation (" Who does not eat, he will never grow up! You will stay little! ") doesn't work even in the short term - stubborn kids don't eat anyway. And in the long run, they even work against the child. He begins to associate his fears, weaknesses and rejection from loved ones - with food. And then various eating disorders begin - anorexia and bulimia. After all, food is not just food, through food or through refusal from it, the child is already used to establishing his relationship with the world. In the same way, parents established a relationship with him through food.

No hunger control

Healthy children are, in fact, tough enough to have a survival program in them. And this program will prevent a child who needs to eat from staying hungry. If eating is dictated not by hunger, but by the will of the parent, the child does not develop the skill to feel his body, to satisfy its needs when necessary. Subsequently, this can affect the ability to be aware and recognize your needs and desires, which relate not only to food, but also health, realization, relationships, etc.

Increased risk of obesity

When we force a child to eat in the absence of hunger, we knock him out of the mechanisms of hunger and satiety. This means that in the future, even when he feels full, he can continue to overeat. After all, he is used to eating, even when not hungry.

Hatred of healthy foods is generated

Are you yelling at a kid to eat cauliflower? There is a risk that he will hate this product for the rest of his life. Because he will be associated with fear and anxiety for him. Violence can feed a hatred for anything useful.

This does not mean that parents should not regulate their child's nutrition in any way. There are several things that can help you develop healthy eating habits and provide healthy foods for your baby:

1. Try to give less sweets.
It knocks down appetite, saturates for a short time, causing again a strong hunger soon. In addition, it knocks down the taste buds and prevents the sweetness of vegetables from being felt.

2. Set a clear diet and stick to it even on the go
3 meals and 2 healthy snacks. It is not necessary to force the child to eat at this time, but it is at this time that you should offer refreshments. Missed lunch? Wait until dinner. Hungry? You can have a snack with carrots, celery or an apple.

3. Make sure that the child does not have the habit of constantly chewing something unhealthy, such as cookies or sweets.

4. Remember that hungry healthy children eat. Is always.

Shot from the cartoon "Spirited Away"

Did you know that between how you fed your child in childhood and how he will eat in the future adulthood is there a direct relationship? That the overwhelming majority of weight problems (overweight or, on the contrary, insufficient) in adults arise from infancy? Have you ever thought at least once about whether you are feeding your child correctly? Or do you seriously think that this is a simple and understandable, self-evident, routine activity? No matter how it is! The mechanism of psychological perception of food, which determines the strangeness of eating behavior, is an extremely relevant topic today.

Poor hungry child!

To begin with, sometimes eating disorders occur in ... parents! Yes exactly. Unhealthy attitudes towards food and psychological problems in relation to her, when an adult cannot "make friends" with food in any way - this is the real root of evil.

How does it usually happen in life? I'll give you a simple example:

“Anya lived very modestly in her childhood. Even poor. The family was constantly short of money, even more so for sweets and children's joys. And now our Anya grows into an adult woman, she now has a stable, well-fed life, prosperity and peace in the family. But what does she do when she herself has a child? As if deciding to transfer her own childhood to him, in a peculiar way to make up for lost time, Anya constantly feeds the firstborn with everything he asks for. And what does not ask - too. Chocolates, donuts with condensed milk, cookies, chips, soda ... An endless list of gastronomic abundance, which she herself could hardly dream of as a child ... "

In fact, overprotection is the most common and common abnormality in most parents (especially compassionate grandmothers). They literally think that a full stomach and health are somehow interconnected. That a well-fed child simply cannot be unhappy.

Think carefully about whether you are making the same mistake. Do you transfer to your child long-standing problems, the experience of negative experiences? The golden mean rule is still relevant in our world, and regular overeating is no less harmful than a meager or monotonous diet. And yes: most nutritionists are inclined to assure that sometimes overeating is actually much more harmful than malnutrition. Remember this if you once again want to force the child (or typical tricks and bribery) into the last spoon "for mom."

Why aren't kids eating?

Let's look at the picture from an objective angle. A hungry person will not refuse food. In addition, any doctor will explain to you that the biological rhythms in our body are arranged in their own way, and if yesterday your child had a particularly good appetite, today it may already be normal. Or even bad.

Our body itself regulates needs. This helps not to gain excess weight, to get as many calories from food as is necessary to actively move and feel good. A sick child is a direct proof of this. He lies in bed, does not feel well, his body simply has no need to demand large amount of food... Even a pediatrician from a district clinic will ask you not to pester the child with attempts to feed (meaning overfeeding), but leave him alone.

Another example - a thin child eats a lot (from the point of view of his parents), but at the same time remains as thin, stubbornly refusing to round up and please grandmothers with liquid cheeks. What's the matter? Just watch your child carefully. How he runs around the apartment all day, how he jumps in the street in the courtyard, dances to music from cartoons and performs a whole series of active movements. Everything that such a child absorbs from food, he converts into energy. And it is right! He doesn't need to save unnecessary calories for a rainy day in a layer on his stomach or in his double chin. Such a child is perfectly healthy. He has no worms (yes, you can not worry), no hormonal disorders and God knows what else that worried parents are ready to invent.

In a number of rare cases, it is really worth paying attention to the appetite of your beloved child (and to his health in general), for example, if:

• The child suddenly began to eat little or completely refuses to eat, quickly loses weight;
• The child looks overly pale, for most of the day he is inactive and lethargic;
• He flatly refuses the food and delicacies he previously loved, does not show any interest in food;
• You notice that the child looks exhausted or haggard.

Thus, I logically lead you to the conclusion that if a child's appetite suddenly decreases, but he remains habitually cheerful, is active and does not complain about anything - just leave him alone! As soon as he gets hungry, he will ask you to feed him, otherwise it cannot be.

Food - natural need organism. Hunger and thirst are the primary instincts for self-preservation. Try to forget to feed the baby. He will notify you of hunger with a loud cry and will not calm down until he is fed. The child knows better when and how much he needs to eat.

From a donut to a living skeleton

Parental overprotection threatens not only obesity for the child. Increasingly, in the practice of psychologists and nutritionists, cases have begun to come across when anorexic patients and people with severe eating disorders come to them. Where does it come from?

A child fed like slaughter grows up, goes to school ... There, no one considers his plump sides or pink cheeks cute. On the contrary, an overweight child is subjected to general pressure, he can be cruelly bullied and mocked, he feels like a “black sheep” among classmates day and night. He develops strong attitudes: food is overweight, overweight is an unhappy life.

As long as such a person is in the family circle, it is impossible to break this vicious circle of endless gluttony. But now he finishes school, grows up, breaks free from parental care ... and stops eating. He seems to be gaining wings - losing weight in front of his eyes, receiving compliments and positive reviews from his acquaintances and friends, he can no longer stop. And the nightmarish experience from the "hospitable childhood" spurs him on even more.

“I was approached by a twenty-year-old boy. Rather, he was practically dragged into my office by force. His weight at that time was about fifty kilograms with a height of 179 cm. At the very first session, it turned out that the emaciated young man had recently entered a university and left for a neighboring town, and then problems began. He left as a plump teenager, returned emaciated, emaciated to the bone. Relatives sounded the alarm, tried to fatten him on their own at first, but the young man categorically refused to absorb at least any food. Then it became known that he had lived all his life with his grandmother and mother. Lonely women made the boy the center of their world, bought kilos of sweets for him, constantly treated him to pies and cakes. The child was terribly complex about his excess weight... When the overprotection of mom and grandmother was left behind, he decided to end it ... "

As you yourself can guess, in this typical situation the parents are directly to blame. In this case, the mother and grandmother. And the specialist had to work with the whole family. So that such a situation would never happen again, it was important to convey to women the idea that the problems of their adored son and grandson arose and developed directly through their fault.

“How can you not force him? He himself will not eat all day! ” - Of course not. If he was previously constantly forced to eat, and then suddenly left alone, for some time the child will enjoy the right not to eat anything and defiantly move the plate away. But then the instinct of self-preservation will prevail over ambition. It is important that at the same time there are no cookies, sweets and other sweets in the public domain. Otherwise, the child will only eat them.

Fear that your child will go hungry? Believe me, the child is not his own enemy, he has not yet broken contact with the body. Eat when hungry.

The golden mean - where is it?

Food is an important link in the life of any person, and even more so for a child. The diet must be balanced, your child must receive all the nutrients, calories and vitamins with food in order to grow healthy and active. But eating well is not synonymous with overeating. On the contrary, an overly dense dinner harms the body, interferes with a full night's sleep and causes significant harm to the digestive system. You need to be a wise and reasonable person in matters related to the nutrition of your own child. To be able to look at the situation with an objective gaze, and not be guided by a blind animal instinct to fill a child's stomach to the bone, so that he even lost the ability to move.

If your child is picky and often refuses your meals, try to treat him to others. Even from such a banal product as potatoes or buckwheat, you can make a huge number of variations, and of them something that your child will like. Try it, experiment!

Do not neglect appearance the food that you put on the table in front of the child is also important! If you show a bit of imagination, decorate the dish and come up with a fascinating story about it, then a rare child will refuse to try it.

In conclusion: do not force your children to scrupulously collect the last crumbs or lick the plate white. Leave it to the child to decide for himself how much he has. After all, it is a separate human organism with its own unique biological rhythm!

What complications for the child are fraught with "one more spoon for mom." Julia Lumeng's research

Children should not be forced or persuaded to eat if they do not want to. According to scientists, our persuasions to eat an extra spoon work very well, but they do not bring benefits to the crumbs.

And obedient children suffer from excess weight as a result. Today, when childhood obesity is steadily striding across the planet, it is especially important to instill in the child the correct eating habits from an early age.

But it is even more important not to kill the natural instincts in the baby, which suggest which piece is superfluous for the body. And our persuasion to eat a little more just kill these healthy innate instincts in the child.

Such conclusions were made by scientists from the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor, and Julia Lumeng led the study. For the experiment, scientists invited 1218 mothers with babies to the laboratory.

Moms and babies were filmed while feeding. The experiment was repeated three times with the same families: when the child was 15 months old, 2 years old and 3 years old.

And it turned out that the mothers who persuaded the baby to eat another spoonful had larger children. This trend was observed regardless of the level of family income.

As noted by the author of the study, Julia Lumeng, the main problem is that babies are too capricious in food, and therefore parents worry that children are malnourished. And so they begin to persuade them to eat a spoon for mom, because a spoon for dad.

But this is exactly what you should not do, because during such persistent feeding, the child's natural instincts are dulled, which save him from overeating. Figuratively speaking, the child's ability to pick up signals of satiety is dulled.

Julia made another interesting observation. It turns out that children whose parents are worried that their children are malnourished and gain weight too poorly have a very normal weight for their height and age. Scientists published a report on the experiment in Reuters Health.

The opinion of specialists from the Russian Research Institute of Food and Nutrition of the Department of Science and Technology

Children should not be forced to eat. - this is the conclusion reached by the specialists of the Russian Research Institute of Food and Nutrition of the Department of Science and Technology. In their opinion, children and adolescents refuse to eat this or that food, due to many factors, both psychological and physiological. For example, babies from one to three years old are very sensitive to food color, taste, texture, temperature, as well as to the atmosphere in which they have to eat this food.

Research Institute experts have developed a number of guidelines that can help parents feed their child. This list includes well-known tips such as “always eat with your baby,” “mix foods that your baby doesn't like with your loved ones,” or “change recipes frequently” and “be creative with food.”

1. Never force a child to eat. This will lead to the fact that he will even more actively refuse to eat.
2. If the child does not like vegetables and fruits, offer them when he is very hungry.
3. Encourage your child to plan the menu and prepare meals. Then the child will definitely want to try what he has prepared.
4. Food is a must. Therefore, it should not be used as a reward, or deprive the child of lunch as a punishment for something.
5. The relaxed and friendly atmosphere at the table will increase your appetite.

From the forum

http://www.woman.ru/kids/medley5/thread/4197311/

I have no children, I'll write right away. But my best friend has a son 1.10. Once she was visiting her and accidentally caught a feeding. The child did not want to eat the soup and my friend forced him to eat this soup and did not act very well in my opinion ... At first, songs and books were used, then my friend became noticeably nervous and began to raise her voice, beat the table ... was smeared with soup and bread. Then he knitted his hands and began pouring this soup into him! He spat everything out and the girlfriend just threw the plate on the kitchen table with a roar and kicked the child out of the table. She just pushed me with the words “well, go, go hungry. I do not care". Then I could not stand it and asked why she was doing it, if the child wants to eat, he will eat, and so why force? To which she replied that he was just being capricious, showing character and for several days already arranging a concert for her at any meal. It will bite a little bit, then spit it out, maybe even refuse to eat, etc. I don’t understand how this is possible ... After all, you can frighten a child with his behavior and he will never touch the plate himself. Here is her rule: if soup is prepared, then the child must certainly eat it, and at exactly that number of hours. Or maybe the child doesn't want soup, but wants pasta, for example. Why can't you cook multiple dishes? Personally, I have had a bad aftertaste since that day. How can you mock a child like that?

>>> it seems to me that while you have no children it is easy to argue whether he ate or not, but when he already has his own, you will worry if he’s hungry, but it affects the stomach that he didn’t eat, etc.))) so here everyone has their own truth, someone shoves food, someone does not. my sister also quarreled with my nephew, and I scolded when I lived with them, why she doesn't eat and is so dead, of course you worry that he hasn’t eaten and will be even thinner))) now he is 11 and began to eat, although he’s still walking dead, but already the male appetite breaks out. I don’t know how with my children, but maybe I’ll also start to force you to eat)))

>>> I have two children. But I have never encountered a similar problem. We had a routine: breakfast, lunch, dinner. Small fruit snacks in between. Children always ate normally, apparently, they had time to get hungry. If someone started to wander about: “I don’t want and will not,” I never insisted. If you don’t want it, then you’re not hungry, you’re free, go for a walk. But unfortunately, in the families of my acquaintances there were battles for food of the type described by the author. I never could understand how parents bring the feeding process to such a state. Well, I don’t understand. The child does not want to eat - let him go to play. Just don't give him anything until the next meal, no cookies, no sweets, no other rubbish. He will come running and ask for the same soup.

>>> my husband as a child (he told me) ate semolina porridge with onions, because he was sick of the smell of semolina, and my mother stood and forced. So he ate, choked, cried and ate. Now he is very picky about food. He doesn't eat milk, boiled cabbage, he just can't stand it, too, my mother made me eat the borsch, but he was sick. So much for the consequences. The mother-in-law herself told how he refused, and she with his face on the plate. I decided for myself: I won't torture my children like that.

>>> What a horror. Mom doesn't know, it looks like eating under a lot of stress is worse than not eating at all. There will definitely not be any benefit from this soup. It is better to wait until dinner and offer the hungry child the same dish as for lunch - and then it will be judged whether the child was capricious before or really cannot eat what was offered.

>>> the author, of course, can not be forced like that. I don’t understand at all how a purely physiological process can be initiated and controlled by force .. I was also forcibly fed in childhood, I still remember how terrible it was and hated it all, how food was associated with crying, with some kind of inevitable violence. Well, in the end, I was completely cold with food until adulthood, as a teenager I could not eat almost anything (in the children's camp I threw off 7 kg in a month, because I just stopped eating, because no one forced me there, but I was already thin). Only after 25 years I began to eat some things that I could not stand before (milk, fish, porridge - everything that I was stuffed with). I always eat little and weigh little (but that's just fine with me))). But since childhood, stomach problems - gastritis and all things, gastrointestinal sores develop very easily if food is associated with stress and stress in childhood is associated with food.

Let them talk GREAT CHILDREN OBESE CHILDREN 160kg at 13 YEARS OLD

Child. Illustrative shot

Each parent, regardless of whether he is raising a child for only a few years or all his life, draws many conclusions for himself and sets certain rules for upbringing for himself. Many consider it important and even obligatory in education to be strict on the part of the parents and obedience on the part of the child (“Do what you are told! I know better!”). But it is simply impossible to force a child to do some things, if you do not want to have a negative impact on his psyche or health, writes MyJane.ru.

Even if you think that you are acting for the good of the child himself, do not force him to do the following things:

1. Lie. Including on trifles ("Say that I am not!"). And not only because lying is not good at all. If your child treats lying as something ordinary and will lie to other people, then sooner or later he will lie to you too. And you will not even be able to understand this, because acting is honed with experience to perfection.

2. There is when the child is not hungry. Yes, there are norms according to which pediatricians recommend feeding a child of a certain age. But these norms are not at all as great as most caring mothers think. And needless to say that all children are different from each other. And even the same child in different ages eats differently, sometimes more or less willingly. Our bodies are engineered to alert us to when we need to eat and when to drink. Teaching a child to correctly recognize these signals is the task of a parent who wants to have a healthy child, and not stuff porridge or soup into it at any cost.

3. Be what the child is not. If your child is, say, shy, then accept it and accept it that way. Do not force him to be (or seem) outgoing if by nature he is disgusted with it, or if the child himself does not suffer from his shyness. The same applies to overly active, mobile, noisy children. Yes, they are difficult, but let them be what their nature is. And let your baby know that you love him for who he is, and not for your idea of ​​how he should be.

4. No one knows what to apologize for. All the time I hear how on playground some mommy shouts: "Apologize immediately!" And the baby obediently obeys, having no idea what he is apologizing for and who needs it. Apology becomes only a mandatory, but obscure ritual that does not carry any kindness, tact or regret. Therefore, before demanding an apology, take the trouble to at least briefly explain to the baby what exactly he needs to apologize for.

5. Greet strangers. Take sweets, toys or money from them. I don’t know, maybe this is purely my paranoia, but I don’t like it when children begin to be drawn into a heart-to-heart conversation absolutely strangers or treat them to sweets. Therefore, the rule of Little Red Riding Hood is: "Don't talk to strangers!" I vaccinate the child from early childhood.

6. Befriend someone they don't like. Even if you best friends with the mother of another child, this does not mean that your own child should also be friends with this family. And tolerate being teased, breaking toys or pulling his hair just because you don't want to fight with the abuser's mom. Make friends yourself, go shopping and go to the movies together, drink tea together, and leave the child to be friends with whoever he wants.

7. Dramatically change your habits. It doesn't matter if it's about giving up the bottle, sleeping in a separate bed, or stopping sucking on your nipple. In order to change, the baby must "mature". The transitions from old to new should be smooth and gradual.

8. Putting the child on a strict diet, making him fast or punishing him with food. Yes, there are overweight children, but this is hardly the reason why you should always deny them sweets or chips. You can't make a cult out of food and, let's add, out of diets. The forbidden fruit is known to be sweet. If you want to control or limit some foods that are harmful to the child, then do not keep them at home, do not expose him once again to temptations, explain to the child the principles by which he needs to eat, but do not categorically prohibit these foods, unless, of course, speech not about severe cases of allergy.

9. Spend the night where he is uncomfortable. When I was little, I hated staying overnight with my grandmother, despite all my love for her. Within half an hour I desperately wanted to go home, the bed seemed uncomfortable, the atmosphere was unusual, I even disgusted using someone else's bathroom. I felt useless and abandoned by everyone. If your child has similar feelings, then you should not force him to spend the night in an unfamiliar place. Of course, sometimes parents just need to have a free evening at their disposal, but instead of sending the child somewhere, it is better to ask your grandmother or another adult to spend the night at your home.

It is simply impossible to force a child to do some things if you do not want to have a negative impact on his psyche or health.

Each parent, regardless of whether he is raising a child for only a few years or all his life, draws many conclusions for himself and sets certain rules for upbringing for himself.

Many consider it important and even obligatory in education to be strict on the part of the parents and obedience on the part of the child (“Do what you are told! I know better!”).

But it is simply impossible to force a child to do some things, if you do not want to have a negative impact on his psyche or health.

Even if you think that you are acting for the good of the child himself, do not force him to do the following things:

1. Lie.

Including on trifles ("Say that I am not!"). And not only because lying is not good at all. If your child treats lying as something ordinary and will lie to other people, then sooner or later he will lie to you too. And you will not even be able to understand this, because acting is honed with experience to perfection.

2. There is when the child is not hungry.

Yes, there are norms according to which pediatricians recommend feeding a child of a certain age. But these norms are not at all as great as most caring mothers think. And needless to say that all children are different from each other... And even the same child at different ages eats differently, sometimes more or less willingly. Our bodies are engineered to alert us to when we need to eat and when to drink. Teaching a child to correctly recognize these signals is the task of a parent who wants to have a healthy child, and not stuff porridge or soup into it at any cost.

3. Be what the child is not.

If your child is, say, shy, then accept it and accept it that way. Do not force him to be (or seem) outgoing if by nature he is disgusted with it, or if the child himself does not suffer from his shyness. The same applies to overly active, mobile, noisy children. Yes, they are difficult, but let them be what their nature is. And let your baby know that you love him for who he is, and not for your idea of ​​how he should be.

4. No one knows what to apologize for.

All the time I hear a mommy shouting on the playground: "Apologize immediately!" And the baby obediently obeys, having no idea what he is apologizing for and who needs it. Apology becomes only a mandatory, but obscure ritual that does not carry any kindness, tact or regret. Therefore, before demanding an apology, take the trouble to at least briefly explain to the baby what exactly he needs to apologize for.

5. Greet strangers.

Take sweets, toys or money from them. I don’t know, maybe this is purely my paranoia, but I don’t like it when strangers start to draw children into intimate conversation or treat them with sweets. Therefore, the rule of Little Red Riding Hood is: "Don't talk to strangers!" I vaccinate the child from early childhood.

6. Befriend someone they don't like.

Even if you are best friends with the mother of another child, that does not mean that your own child should also be friends with this family. And tolerate being teased, breaking toys or pulling his hair just because you don't want to fight with the abuser's mom. Make friends yourself, go shopping and go to the movies together, drink tea together, and leave the child to be friends with whoever he wants.

7. Dramatically change your habits.

It doesn't matter if it's about giving up the bottle, sleeping in a separate bed, or stopping sucking on your nipple. In order to change, the baby must "mature". The transitions from old to new should be smooth and gradual.

8. Putting the child on a strict diet, making him fast or punishing him with food.

Yes, there are overweight children, but this is hardly the reason why they should always be denied sweets. You can't make a cult out of food and, let's add, out of diets. The forbidden fruit is known to be sweet. If you want to control or limit some foods that are harmful to the child, then do not keep them at home, do not expose him once again to temptations, explain to the child the principles by which he needs to eat, but do not categorically prohibit these foods, unless, of course, speech not about severe cases of allergy.

9. Spend the night where he is uncomfortable.

When I was little, I hated staying overnight with my grandmother, despite all my love for her. Within half an hour I desperately wanted to go home, the bed seemed uncomfortable, the atmosphere was unusual, I even disgusted using someone else's bathroom. I felt useless and abandoned by everyone. If your child has similar feelings, then you should not force him to spend the night in an unfamiliar place. Of course, sometimes parents just need to have a free evening at their disposal, but instead of sending the child somewhere, it is better to ask your grandmother or another adult to spend the night at your home.

10. Do what they do badly.

I do not urge you to educate people who give up at the slightest failure, but if your child, after many months of training, still cannot stand steadily on skates, and even hates this process, then maybe it is worth replacing figure skating with music school as much as you want to be the mom of a world champion figure skater. Endless failures will bring up a loser complex in a child. And vice versa, the slightest success will inspire him for further exploits and hard work. It is better to be a good handball player than a bad footballer, even if the second sport is much more prestigious than the first. Let your child make the choice.

In any case, remember that your child is not only YOUR child, but also independent little personality... How earlier child learns to make decisions on his own, the sooner he learns to take responsibility for his actions. published by

Each parent, regardless of whether he is raising a child for only a few years or all his life, draws many conclusions for himself and sets certain rules for upbringing for himself. Many consider it important and even obligatory in education to be strict on the part of the parents and obedience on the part of the child (“Do what you are told! I know better!”). But it is simply impossible to force a child to do some things, if you do not want to have a negative impact on his psyche or health. Even if you think that you are acting for the good of the child himself, do not force him to do the following things:

1. Lie. Including on trifles ("Say that I am not!"). And not only because lying is not good at all. If your child treats lying as something ordinary and will lie to other people, then sooner or later he will lie to you too. And you will not even be able to understand this, because acting is honed with experience to perfection.

2. There is when the child is not hungry. Yes, there are norms according to which pediatricians recommend feeding a child of a certain age. But these norms are not at all as great as most caring mothers think. And needless to say that all children are different from each other. And even the same child at different ages eats differently, sometimes more or less willingly. Our bodies are engineered to alert us to when we need to eat and when to drink. Teaching a child to correctly recognize these signals is the task of a parent who wants to have a healthy child, and not stuff porridge or soup into it at any cost.

3. Be what the child is not. If your child is, say, shy, then accept it and accept it that way. Do not force him to be (or seem) outgoing if by nature he is disgusted with it, or if the child himself does not suffer from his shyness. The same applies to overly active, mobile, noisy children. Yes, they are difficult, but let them be what their nature is. And let your baby know that you love him for who he is, and not for your idea of ​​how he should be.

4. No one knows what to apologize for. All the time I hear a mommy shouting on the playground: "Apologize immediately!" And the baby obediently obeys, having no idea what he is apologizing for and who needs it. Apology becomes only a mandatory, but obscure ritual that does not carry any kindness, tact or regret. Therefore, before demanding an apology, take the trouble to at least briefly explain to the baby what exactly he needs to apologize for.

5. Greet strangers. Take sweets, toys or money from them. I don’t know, maybe this is purely my paranoia, but I don’t like it when strangers start to draw children into intimate conversation or treat them with sweets. Therefore, the rule of Little Red Riding Hood is: "Don't talk to strangers!" I vaccinate the child from early childhood.

6. Befriend someone they don't like. Even if you’re best friends or go shopping with another child’s mom, that doesn’t mean that your own child should also be friends with this family. And tolerate being teased, breaking toys or pulling his hair just because you don't want to fight with the abuser's mom. Make friends yourself, go shopping and go to the movies together, drink tea together, and leave the child to be friends with whoever he wants.

7. Dramatically change your habits. It doesn't matter if it's about giving up the bottle, sleeping in a separate bed, or stopping sucking on your nipple. In order to change, the baby must "mature". The transitions from old to new should be smooth and gradual.

8. Putting the child on a strict diet, making him fast or punishing him with food. Yes, there are overweight children, but this is hardly the reason why you should always deny them sweets or chips. You can't make a cult out of food and, let's add, out of diets. The forbidden fruit is known to be sweet. If you want to control or limit some foods that are harmful to the child, then do not keep them at home, do not expose him once again to temptations, explain to the child the principles by which he needs to eat, but do not categorically prohibit these foods, unless, of course, speech not about severe cases of allergy.

9. Spend the night where he is uncomfortable. When I was little, I hated staying overnight with my grandmother, despite all my love for her. Within half an hour I desperately wanted to go home, the bed seemed uncomfortable, the atmosphere was unusual, I even disgusted using someone else's bathroom. I felt useless and abandoned by everyone. If your child has similar feelings, then you should not force him to spend the night in an unfamiliar place. Of course, sometimes parents just need to have a free evening at their disposal, but instead of sending the child somewhere, it is better to ask your grandmother or another adult to spend the night at your home.

10. Do what they do badly. I do not urge you to educate people who give up at the slightest failure, but if your child, after many months of training, still cannot stand steadily on skates, and even hates this process, then maybe it is worth replacing figure skating with needlework, how would you I didn't want to be the mom of a world champion figure skater. Endless failures will bring up a loser complex in a child. And vice versa, the slightest success will inspire him for further exploits and hard work. It is better to be a good handball player than a bad footballer, even if the second sport is much more prestigious than the first. Let your child make the choice.

In any case, remember that your child is not only YOUR child, but also an independent little person. The sooner the child learns to make decisions for himself, the sooner he learns to take responsibility for his actions.