Each girl decides for herself when she will become an adult, that is, start dating boys, lead sexual life. However, thinking about pregnancy at the age of 13 is only on the one hand - what to do to prevent this from happening. Your body is not yet strong, and, as a rule, there is no time and money to support a baby at this age. Therefore, the situation when a child gave birth to a child is not the most favorable for any girl.

Condom - reliable protection

As a rule, if you are sexually active at 13, there is a risk of becoming pregnant, unless, of course, the menstrual cycle has already been established and there are no problems with the hormonal system, and there are no inflammatory diseases of the genital area. If you are 13 years old and do not want to become a victim of an unwanted pregnancy, the first thing you need to do is to discuss the problem with a pediatric gynecologist. He will advise how best to protect yourself, as well as how to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases.

If you're 13 years old and you still haven't had your period, don't take it as a guarantee of safe sex. Your menstrual cycle will not start at the time of your first bleeding, as your first ovulation will occur a few weeks earlier. Thus, you can conceive a child without knowing that your body is already “ready” for this.

Unfortunately, in practice, few girls are ready to discuss the beginning of sexual activity with a gynecologist. If you can't decide to talk to your doctor, remember a few simple rules: try to have sex only with a trusted partner. Always use contraception. One of the most affordable means is condoms. They are sold in any pharmacy. Do not be embarrassed by the pharmacist when buying a condom. Remember that your protection is the protection of your health and the ability to have sex without the risk of becoming pregnant.

no sex no pregnancy

The most proven and reliable way at the age of 13 is not to have sex. Unwanted pregnancy can occur even in the case of constant protection, so only refusing to have sex can protect you one hundred percent. If you are 13 years old, and the only thing that prevents you from starting a sexual life is the fear of getting pregnant, it is better to postpone this serious step until a more mature age. It should be remembered that in this moment there are many more interesting moments in your life: sports, study, dancing, discos and more. The time to enter the adult period will definitely come a little later, so it’s better not to rush things.

I lowered my head and said:
- Katya, I feel very bad ...
*A couple of days before*
I'm Olya, studying in the 8th grade. I have a lot of friends, but not real ones, but in the same class. The only best friend is Katya. We are in the same class with her. There are many prominent people in the school who dress brightly, are sociable, but at the same time evil = memorable, proud, vulgar ... Their main advantage, but in my opinion a disadvantage, they are not virgins. Like my classmate, Christina and her friends Lera, Anya. She dresses very frankly, she is vulgar .. in general, she does not even hide that she studied with a young chemistry teacher so that he would give her 5 in a year. So he did!
I really wanted to be just like them - noticeable, but not to lose my virginity, not to be like them. But unfortunately this is not possible.
Once Christina had a party in her house, where almost the whole school came, or rather her high school students.
Katya and I also went. There was a little booze, and most importantly, there was an excessive amount of drugs. The party was just a waste: we danced, had fun, Katya drank, but I don’t drink. Katya has gone somewhere. I danced alone, but later the Magnificent Trio-Kristina, Anya and Lera come up to me:
- What are you doing here, ugly girl? - Christina asked me, apparently.
I answered:
- Decided to have some fun. Christina, can I have a minute?
Christie and I went to a corner where there was no one, I asked:
How can I become a noticeable girl at school?
-Ahahaha, for this, firstly you need to be sexy, like me, secondly, you must forget about studies and have fun with us, and also .. lose your innocence of course.
Why lose your innocence? I asked in surprise.
- You see, the girls who are discussed more often become popular, because the whole school knows them, and the girls who are discussed are always not virgins anymore! Pure physics, well, or biology, in extreme cases, anatomy. Long story short, I can find you a partner right now.
-Seriously?! Thank you, but for now..
If you don't want it now, when else? You could have sex with the girl first so that you would be more comfortable doing it with the guy.
- I.. I don't know.. well, I'm only 13 years old and...
- Take your this .. Katya!
- No, what are you. She's my friend, we...
- Okay, let's go. - Christina grabbed my hand and dragged me to the second floor, to her room, where there was no one.
She locked the door, came up to me and began to stroke my cheek. Later, she began to touch my breasts, took off my jacket and began to kiss me. We kissed naked for 4 minutes, then she took her finger and put it in my vagina, it hurt me so much, then she pulled it out, and did this several times, then she lowered her head to my vagina and ... someone knocked on the door . It was a couple who wanted to make love here. We got up with Christina, got dressed and left, I did not understand what was happening. She brought me to Anya and Lera, and the four of us went upstairs to another room. There we all had sex together, but I didn’t even understand what I was doing.

The tender age of 13, the age when a girl is not yet a woman, but no longer a child. Physiologically, she is an adult, completely ready for sexual intercourse and often conception. Psychologically, her formation as a woman is just beginning.

Ideally, 13 years is the time of the first romantic love, walks, timid kisses ... If I am 13 years old and I am pregnant, what should I do then?

This is a question to which there is no single answer and cannot be. A year earlier, and there is no doubt, pregnancy is dangerous for child's body However, at the age of 13, a small woman is often able to bear and give birth to a healthy child.

The first thing to do if a teenage girl finds herself in such a situation is to open up to her parents. There is no need to be afraid of misunderstanding, because everything secret becomes clear, and in such an acute situation, time is precious.

There is no time to think, termination of pregnancy is possible for a period of no more than 12-14 weeks (unless otherwise indicated by the doctor and the pregnancy does not threaten the life and health of the patient).

Termination of the first pregnancy for any woman is fraught with infertility. The first, albeit early pregnancy may be the last. Even the most sparing and qualified medical intervention during pregnancy does not go unnoticed.

Curettage of the uterine cavity during medical cleaning occurs blindly, by touch. The tool damages the inner layer of the uterus, leaving erosion, sores, cracks. With further attempts at conception, these injuries prevent the fetal egg from gaining a foothold in the uterine cavity.

Ruptures of the cervix are not uncommon, because it is tightly compressed to preserve the pregnancy, and during an abortion it is forcibly and roughly opened. The function of the ovaries is disturbed, menstruation becomes irregular, there are problems with ovulation (the formation of an egg).

Depression, depression, guilt often do not leave a woman for many months. All the negative consequences of artificial termination of pregnancy cannot be listed.

However, suppose the decision is made to keep the child. Let us omit the moral and ethical side of the issue, marriage and recognition of paternity. The range of problems facing a 13-year-old pregnant woman is much wider, and first of all, this is a medical aspect.

13-17 years old - transition period when the risk of having a child with chromosomal abnormalities is high. There is a high probability of miscarriage, because the body of a young mother is still growing and will compete with the fetus for nutrients and elements.

The reproductive system is underdeveloped, the uterus and its cervix may be insolvent, which increases the risk of spontaneous abortion by early dates(up to 12 weeks), as well as in more late dates(27-32 weeks).

The percentage of infant mortality in the first months of a newborn's life is twice as high as that of children from women of childbearing age. The probability of death of the expectant mother is also high.

This is a sad statistic, and it is all the more striking that cases early pregnancy everyone is becoming more frequent in our country.

The root of trouble lies in a family where they do not engage in sexual education and, if you like, education of their daughter, where the girl is left alone with the first menstruation, the first sexual experience and, subsequently, an early pregnancy.

The decision to be made by a pregnant woman at 13 is not an easy one, and main advice here - don't take it alone. There is no vacuum around, there are people nearby. These are parents, teachers at the school, employees of the antenatal clinic.

The last word in this situation, when only 13 years old and already pregnant, should in any case remain with future mother. To force, to incline to something, to threaten should not be.

Today it is a girl who depends on adults, and tomorrow a woman who deserves a full-fledged family life and happiness of motherhood. Do not deprive her of the chance to find this happiness.

Let them talk - a 12 year old girl got pregnant from a 28 year old

I had a baby at 13 (full release)

According to experts, every year in the world two million girls give birth before reaching the age of 15. Such girls often have health problems during pregnancy, complications during childbirth, many die. Little mothers remain invisible to statistics in the countries where they live. Girls are often deprived of their rights, do not have normal access to medical services, and cannot attend school. The United Nations Population Fund and international child rights organization Plan have launched the #childmothers campaign, which aims to make infant mothers visible.

Photographer Peter ten Houpen and journalist Sofia Clemming traveled to Bangladesh, Zambia, Burkina Faso, Jordan, Colombia and Haiti and talked to several dozen girls who became mothers before the age of 15.

The reasons for such early pregnancy among girls are marriages in childhood, gender inequality, poverty, sexual violence and coercion, and lack of sex education and access to contraceptives.

Many young people do not receive enough information about sexual relationships and the possible consequences.

Mulenga (14 years old) and Felicity (5 months old)

Mulenga lives with his daughter, parents, his father's second wife and his ten brothers and sisters in a village in Zambia. Before becoming a mother, she went to school, loved to play football and dreamed of becoming a doctor.

“It's hard being a mother. I don't have time to play anymore. My daughter cries a lot and I have to stay at home and take care of her and wash diapers.”- this is how the girl describes her motherhood.

Mulenga said that her mother drew attention to her daughter's changed condition, so they learned about the girl's pregnancy. Mulenga's boyfriend abandoned the child. Then Mulenga's father took her to the boyfriend's parents and said that they could bring her back home only by paying him 5,000 kwachas (local money). So Mulenga lived for four months with strangers until they collected the required amount. She was lucky: the birth went without complications and she did not receive any injuries. Her mother taught her to take care of the baby, and now she performs her duties herself.

“I don't like being a mother, but I love my child. I'm worried about the future and about who will buy the necessary things for the child, " Mulenga says.

In the near future, the young mother has a return to school. When Felicity is 6 months old, Mulenga's mother will be able to look after her granddaughter while her daughter is at school. Mulenga wants to get an education and become a nurse, she also dreams of educating her daughter and teaching her how to communicate with the opposite sex.

It wasn't until she gave birth at 14 that Mulenga learned that unwanted pregnancies could be prevented by using birth control. But she says she's too shy to go to the clinic and ask for them.

Most pregnancies in girls occur in marriage, because. in many developing countries, early alliances are a longstanding tradition. Many girls become brides at the age of 8-9 years. Early marriages for girls mean that they will become housewives and mothers, while guys have more opportunities for development.

Nargiz (15 years old) and Nayem (1.5 years old)

Nargis lives in Bangladesh with her one and a half year old son and husband. Parents married Nargiz when she was 14 years old, because due to poverty they could no longer support their daughter.

“I studied until the eighth grade. I really enjoyed going to school. I had a dream to study law, but my parents couldn't afford it."- said the girl.

Nargiz did not know her husband before the wedding, and even now she does not know his exact age, she assumes that her husband is about 25 years old, he is in sales.

The girl said that she did not know anything about her body before pregnancy. She says she didn't want to be a mother, but changed her mind after getting married. And when she saw her son for the first time, she felt happy. Now Nargiz is taking birth control pills, it was her husband's idea.

A young mother works in a garment factory all day to save money for her son's education (she leaves for work at 7 am and returns at 8 pm). She will stop going to work when Nayem starts her studies so that she can be there and help him. Nargiz has a dream - to pass exams and finish school. Her husband promised not to interfere. Nargiz says that she is happy, because she has a husband and son.

69 million teenagers are out of school. Studies show that education and training are key factors in reducing the risk of early onset of sexual activity, pregnancy and early childbearing, and increase the likelihood of using contraception if adolescents are having sex.

Lumilena (15 years old) and Klayrina (6 months old)

Lumilena has been living with her daughter and her parents in a camp for internally displaced persons for more than five years. They came here after the earthquake in Haiti in 2010. Their house was destroyed, and the economic situation deteriorated greatly. Lumilena's mother sells bread, but there is still not enough money. There are many young mothers in this camp and violence against girls and women is common.

Lumilena met a guy, and at the age of 14 she discovered that she was pregnant. She wanted to have an abortion, but her mother insisted on keeping the baby. The birth of the girl went pretty well, and after six months since the birth of her daughter, Lumilena enjoys being a mother.

The girl returned to school, she is in the eighth grade. When Lumilena is in the classroom, her grandmother looks after the baby, returning from school, the girl takes care of household chores and takes care of the child. A young mother dreams of getting married and becoming a nurse, but her parents don't have the money to educate her. Lumilena hopes that perhaps her daughter will be able to get an education.

At the time of the interview, Klairina was unwell: she was coughing, she had a runny nose, and eye problems, but Lumilena could not take the child to the doctor due to lack of money.

Lumilena said that she is not the only one at the school who already has a child. According to her, there are many girls in the camp for migrants whose parents are very poor. Some girls trade themselves for money and food.

“I realized that you should not joke with men and become their friend. Once you become their friend, they can do whatever they want. It's hard for a girl to say no Lumilena concluded.

Every year, 70,000 girls under the age of 15 die from complications related to pregnancy and childbirth. Each year, about a million children born to teenage mothers do not make it to their first birthday.

Janet (15 years old) and Manuel (6 months old)

Janet lives with her boyfriend and their son in a big city in Colombia. She met her boyfriend at school, fell in love and got pregnant.

After giving birth, Janet returned to school and attends groups for new mothers, where she receives advice on nutrition, health and family planning. The father of her child is 18 years old, he left school to get a job and provide for his family.

“Being a mother is a wonderful experience. When I feel lonely, I play with my child, with his cars. He smiles at me and I know he loves me"- this is how the girl describes her motherhood.

Janet says that her boyfriend devotes a lot of time and attention to their child. In addition to school, the girl attends stylist courses and hopes to open her own salon in the future in order to earn money and give her son an education.

She says that she was lucky, because. her family gives her great support, both moral and material. As for family planning, the girl has established a spiral and does not plan to give birth again in the next 10 years.

90% of adolescents who would like to avoid pregnancy do not use modern contraceptives. About 350,000 adolescent girls and young women become infected with HIV each year.

Aisha (15 years old) and Faty (13 months old)

Aisha lives with her daughter, mother and two sisters in countryside in Burkina Faso. She was sexually abused by her teacher when she was 14 and became pregnant. The teacher was later suspended from work for one year.

The girl's parents decided that Aisha should live with the parents of the child's father until the birth. She had to settle there for five months, during which time the teacher never showed up.

Aisha said that before pregnancy, her father provided for her and took care of her, and now he does not even want to see her. She is forced to bake and sell cakes, as well as help her mother grow vegetables.

“I don't really feel happy as a mother. Motherhood for me is very painful, because when my child is sick, I feel my responsibility. When I see my friends who go to school, I get sad. I wanted to be a mother later, not now.” the girl says.

Studies show that in some countries the first sexual experience for many girls occurs without their consent, under duress. According to UN estimates, around the world one in three women have been subjected to violence: beaten, forced to have sex or some other form. Most often, the aggressor is someone the woman knows. Accurate data on violence among 10-14 year olds age group does not exist, but a study in 133 countries found that one in five women was sexually abused as a child.

Amira (15 years old), Ahmed (24 years old), Samer (1 year old) and Amal (12 days old)

Amira lives with her husband and two children in a refugee camp in Jordan. She dropped out of school because of the war in her country. Amira got married at the age of 13 and gave birth to two children in a clinic in the camp.

“It's so hard to take care of a child when you're still a child yourself. Besides, I have to take care of my husband too. I don't have free time for myself." the young mother complains. At the same time, she notes that she likes to play with her eldest son, because she can feel like a child in the game again.

Amira says she doesn't want any more children and will use contraception, which she didn't know about before. The girl still dreams of getting an education and becoming a teacher, having her own home and giving her children everything that she did not have in her childhood.

“Life in the camp is hard. Everything is abnormal here. You don't go to anyone and nobody comes to you. You just take care of your kids and husband all the time. That's all", Amira concludes.

Access to safe abortions is limited in many developing countries, forcing young girls who want to terminate their pregnancies to do so clandestinely outside medical institutions risking your health and life. The UN estimates that 3.2 million unsafe abortions are performed by adolescents between the ages of 15 and 19 each year (98% of these abortions occur in developing countries).

Anita (15 years old)

Anita lives with her husband in rural Bangladesh. She was forced to marry when she was 13 and became pregnant at 14. The birth was complicated, her baby was stillborn, and she suffered serious health problems.

Anita went to school for only two years. Her parents gave her in marriage, because. are poor and find it difficult to support their seven sisters and Anita's brother. The girl did not know her husband before the wedding. She says that she was happy when she found out about her pregnancy, but she did not know anything about possible complications.

When the birth began, the local midwife could not help Anita and she was sent to a rural hospital, those doctors sent the girl to the city a few hours later. Unfortunately, the child could not be saved, and Anita developed a fistula (a canal connecting the vagina with the intestines or urinary organs, a serious complication that is quite common in obstetrics and gynecology). Because of this fistula, the girl lay in bed for a couple of weeks, she could not get up, because. in an upright position could not control urination.

Young girls, whose bodies are not physically ready to give birth to a child, are especially prone to complications during pregnancy and childbirth. Often early childbirth leads to the formation of obstetric fistulas. Such postpartum injuries significantly impair the quality of life of a woman, lead to long-term disability, dysfunction genitourinary system and gastrointestinal tract. In developing countries, women often have to live with such trauma and suffer from the inability to access surgical care. It is estimated that over two million women and girls are living with an obstetric fistula.

She was lucky, because she has the opportunity to have surgery and improve the quality of life.

“My husband is still with me, but he is not very supportive due to my injuries. He accuses me and asks me why this happened to me. I need to recover. If I don't have another child, my husband will leave me. Who will take care of me then?” Anita expressed her fear.

Rabiya (16 years old) and Kushum (3 years old)

Rabiya lives with her three year old daughter and husband in rural Bangladesh. She married at 13 and was pregnant three times by the age of 16. Only one of her children survived, and during this time she herself lost a lot of weight and suffered from anemia.

Rabiya, like the previous heroines, did not realize that she was pregnant. At 13, she knew nothing about sexual relations and family planning. During her first pregnancy, she lost a lot of weight, but gave birth to a healthy daughter. The second time she became pregnant, when the older girl began to walk, but the child died in the womb. The third child was born with a serious illness and died three months later. Finally, the girl's aunt advised her to use contraception. In the clinic, the girl was given a contraceptive injection, after which she began to gain weight and feel much better.

“I don't want any more children. I don't have any more energy. I am happy with one child and, fortunately, my husband agrees to this. My husband is a very good person. Before marriage, I dreamed of becoming a teacher. Now I have to manage the house. I dream of buying my own house, where my husband and daughter will be happy. I want to give Kushum everything", Rabia says.

Girls who become pregnant within two years of their first period, or whose pelvis and birth canal are not yet fully formed, are at greater risk of complications or health problems associated with pregnancy and childbirth. Every day, more than 500 women and adolescent girls die from complications during pregnancy and childbirth.

Poco (15 years old) and Tiga (3 years old)

Poko lives with her son, her parents, grandmother and aunt in an urban area in Burkina Faso. She became pregnant when she was 12 and nearly died during childbirth. Her family is very poor so they can't pay Poco's tuition.

Poko got pregnant by a guy she was dating. Her older sister realized that Poko was pregnant, and they hid this from their parents until the sixth month. The birth was difficult, the girl lost a lot of blood, but there was no money for a transfusion. For two months she was between life and death. The child's father abandoned him.

“Being a mother is hard. Sometimes we have nothing to eat, nothing to wash clothes with. I used to go to school, but now I stay at home, take care of my son and help my mother. I would like to go back to school" Poco says.

In every region of the world, girls from rural areas with lower levels of income and education are more likely to become pregnant than more affluent and educated urban dwellers. Data from 79 developing countries show that teenage birth rates in rural areas are nearly double those in urban areas.