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Early sexual life and its consequences. Beginning of sexual activity: defloration

breast cancer

American scientists have found that the first sexual experience affects the entire subsequent sexual life of a person. Very early or very late sex can affect the future life of a boy or girl in different ways, and above all, affect problems of an intimate nature. Therefore, it will not be superfluous to inform young and inexperienced people about the most necessary - the benefits, harms, possible consequences and the optimal period of the first sexual experience. What is the optimal age for the first sexual experience, details in our article...

Very early sex

The age of sexual intercourse today has decreased markedly, according to the Federal Post, 36% of adolescents begin sexual relations before the age of 16, and 53% of young people regret it. And there is something to regret, since many of them did not use contraceptives, and some did not even know each other until that moment, and sex was a consequence of alcohol intoxication.

Why you shouldn't start having sex too early:

  • may negatively affect further sexual relations;
  • affects the psychological state;
  • young people are most often poorly informed about contraceptive methods;
  • many do not have serious relationship and permanent partner.

The consequences of early sexual activity can be

Venereal diseases

Most young girls are poorly informed about sexual relations, so few people know how to properly protect themselves from sexually transmitted infections. And if they know, they are embarrassed to tell the guy about it or simply completely trust him, in the hope that he will do everything right. As a result, many early sexual relationships end in sexually transmitted diseases. Sexually transmitted diseases are sexually transmitted diseases. These are HIV (AIDS), syphilis, hepatitis, papillomavirus.

Infectious diseases

Doctors recommend starting sexual activity no earlier than 18 years. Women who begin sexual activity before the age of 18 are more likely to suffer infectious diseases. The hymen protects the vagina from various infections and prevents them from getting inside.


Early intimate relationships can cause complications during pregnancy and childbirth, because the younger the girl, the greater the risk to her health. Also during pregnancy young age high risk of miscarriage and anemia. And most often, early pregnancy ends in abortion, which subsequently leads to the development of chronic gynecological diseases and can even cause infertility.

Cervical cancer

Very early and active sex life increases the risk of cervical cancer in women. The British Journal of Cancer has published studies that prove that women who have sex early can become infected with the papillomavirus, which in turn can lead to cervical cancer.

Psychological problems

Negative emotions associated with the first sexual experience can harm the psyche and form a girl's aversion to sex and even cause frigidity (sexual coldness in women). And this, in turn, may further affect its family life usually for the worse.

Why you shouldn't start having sex too late:

  • late sex can cause sexual disorders and psychological problems;
  • when a woman ejaculates, she releases hormones, the absence can lead to hormonal disorders;
  • orgasm may be absent.

conclusions

Puberty in a girl comes with the onset of the first menstruation. It mainly occurs between the ages of 9 and 15, and most often - 13-14 years. Intimate relationships should begin when the girl has a stable menstrual cycle. This period occurs after 2-3 years from the moment of the first menstruation. But still, doctors do not recommend rushing in this matter. Better to wait.

Under personal hygiene, it is necessary to understand the system of preventive measures that are carried out in personal life to maintain and promote health, taking into account the characteristics of the structure and activity of the body.

The body is a single whole, and all its organs and systems, including the sexual one, are closely interconnected. Therefore, the observance of special hygiene rules must necessarily be combined with the implementation of its general rules. At the same time, we must not forget that a woman's health largely depends on herself, on her family members, on loved ones, on the ability to create the most favorable living conditions. And for this you need to know the basics of proper hygienic education.

Each age period of a person's life (childhood, puberty, puberty and transition) is characterized by its own characteristics. It is important to keep in mind that the rules of personal hygiene for all age groups should be observed literally from the day of birth throughout life.

THE BEGINNING OF A GIRLS' SEXUAL LIFE coincides with the period when her body becomes ready for childbearing. Therefore, sexual hygiene is especially important for a woman.

Striving to be a mother, the thirst for maternal joys are inherent in every woman. Nature itself endowed her with this property. And with age, motherhood becomes a necessity for a woman, because it is based on the desire to continue the human race.

A conscious attitude towards marriage protects a girl from many troubles in life.

BEFORE MARRIAGE future spouses need to inquire about each other's health. Therefore, on the eve of marriage, you need to consult a doctor about your health and tactfully inquire about the health of your future husband. After all good health spouses are also the key to a happy family life. It often happens that a man who has suffered, for example, gonorrhea and treated himself for it, is completely sincerely convinced that he is healthy, and meanwhile, having entered into marriage, infects his young wife, sometimes forever depriving her of the opportunity to become a mother.

Other diseases can disrupt the well-being of family life.

As you know, puberty in girls begins at the age of 13-15, sometimes a little earlier, sometimes later. Already at this age, pregnancy can occur, although the girl’s body cannot yet be considered fully mature for childbearing function. In addition, in order to become a mother, she must mature not only physically, but also mentally and spiritually. The growth and development of the whole organism in a girl continues after puberty and ends only by the age of 20. Therefore, the period of marital maturity of a girl should be determined by the general condition of her body and its readiness for childbearing.

important for family life age of husband and wife. General maturity in most women occurs around the age of 20, in men - by 23 years. However, the latter retain sexual energy longer than women, so it is desirable that the husband be 5-6 years older than his wife. Marriages between persons with a very large difference in age should not be approved. In a man with a significant difference in years (when he is much older), after some time from the beginning of a joint life, sexual function is often weakened.

Marriages between young people are also undesirable, primarily because early sexual life adversely affects both mental development as well as for the entire body. Marriage in immature years, with not yet established inclinations and tastes, is fraught with a much greater chance of being unsuccessful. That is why marriage is recommended at the age of 18-20, at the time of puberty. By this time, a woman can be considered physically mature.

The age of 20-26 years is the best time for childbirth. The first childbirth during this period is more favorable than after 30 years; then they are fraught with more frequent complications, although this is not mandatory.

A GIRL IN MARRIAGE SHOULD KNOW that during the first sexual intercourse there is a rupture of the hymen. This is usually accompanied by the release a small amount blood from the genitals and pain. However, if the tissues are well stretchable and elastic, bleeding and pain may be absent or minor. In some cases, not only the hymen is torn, but also the mucous membrane of the vagina and its arches. This happens more often in women with an underdeveloped sexual apparatus. Such an injury can also occur with a rough sexual intercourse by the husband, especially in a state of intoxication. In such cases, medical attention is always needed.

Usually after first intercourse rupture of the hymen is not dangerous. No douching is required. Quite enough is the usual hygienic washing with warm boiled water, which protects against an inflammatory disease. A woman needs rest and should abstain from intimacy with her husband for several days. During this time, spontaneous healing of abrasions and minor injuries of the hymen and vaginal mucosa occurs.

And here's another thing young spouses should remember. It happens that due to certain individual characteristics of the structure of the body, some women at the beginning of their sexual life feel a sharp pain during repeated (especially rough) attempts by their husband to have sexual intercourse. Sometimes this can cause a condition in which there are convulsive reflex contractions of the muscles of the pelvic floor and the entrance to the vagina, which makes sexual intercourse not only painful, but also impossible. Of course, in all such cases, a woman, discarding false shame, should seek help from a doctor. His advice will be useful to the spouse.

It should not be forgotten also that sexual activity is strictly prohibited during menstruation until its complete cessation. During this period, the protective properties of the vaginal mucosa are weakened, the mucous plug of the cervical canal is absent and it is open. All this facilitates the penetration into the uterine cavity of pathogenic microbes that can lead to an inflammatory process of the internal genital organs.

On the days of menstruation, a woman should strictly monitor the cleanliness of her body, thoroughly wash herself 2 times a day, use a shower, not a bath.

It is necessary to dwell on such a question as acceptable frequency of intercourse.

Of course, there are no rules that are the same for everyone. The frequency of sexual intercourse to a large extent depends on the state of health of the spouses, temperament, age. The sexual ability of a man is subject to significant individual fluctuations, even within physiological limits. Therefore, it is difficult to distinguish between what is the norm and what goes beyond it. Decisive factor here is the preservation of health and vitality. It is well known that too frequent sexual intercourse is harmful to the health of both women and men. They tire and lead to a decrease in a man's sexual ability, exhaustion nervous system. In a woman, sexual excesses cause weakness, deterioration in performance, Bad mood, a feeling of heaviness in the lower abdomen and heavy painful menstruation. In such cases, it is necessary to refrain from sexual intercourse and resume them only after the full restoration of good health. Some recommend 1-2 sexual intercourse per week. This, obviously, should be considered acceptable for a married couple.

THE BEST TIME FOR INTERRELATION is the first half of the night, because in the morning you can relax and get up cheerful, with renewed strength.

As a rule, women from the very beginning of their sexual life feel attracted to it and receive satisfaction from it, but some do not experience it. The fact is that this feeling develops in them gradually, under the influence of a regular sexual life, and sometimes only after the birth of a child. Such women during sexual intercourse receive not so much physical as mental satisfaction, considering sexual intimacy only as an expression of their connection with their loved one.

spiritual intimacy, awareness of the responsibilities that the family imposes, make life together men and women are richer, more interesting.

It is widely believed that a woman who is sexually active should douche for hygienic purposes. In fact, a healthy woman should not do a total, since douching violates the protective properties of the vagina. Every woman should only observe thorough cleanliness in the area of ​​the genitals, washing herself daily.

NORMAL SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS are one of the conditions for a full-blooded and happy family life. The purity of relations between spouses, friendship, the commonality of their interests strengthen the family.

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When can you start?

There are no strict age or physiological limits. You can start when the person is ready for it. Readiness is meant psychological and informational. Psychologically, you must want it, and want it with this person, right now, in the conditions that exist today, want it of your own free will, without feeling any sacrifice on your part. Informationally, you should know in detail the features of female and male anatomy, physiology, methods of protection against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, methods of emergency contraception in case of unforeseen circumstances, have the coordinates of a doctor who can be contacted at any time for help and not be afraid that he will not take you seriously, scold you and tell your parents everything. You should not only know the theory of contraceptive methods, but also have contraceptives with you and be able to use them, and also accept the principle for your whole life? take care of yourself. Your protection? is it your personal business, and not your partner's business, even if he is more experienced and promises to take care of everything for you and you believe him in everything? do not let anyone be responsible for your life and health, except for yourself? NOBODY else can cope with such a burden, but pay for it? only for you and your unborn child. You must forever forget about the so-called. calendar method, calculation of safe days, coitus interruptus and safety of sexual life during menstruation. Are all these myths worthy of only one? to be forgotten forever. You should also be aware of the ways to diagnose early pregnancy and how to terminate it real, not mythical. Should you exclude such a source of pseudo-medical information as the advice and experience of friends, mother or partner, Internet forums, articles in popular magazines, films? all this is an exchange of myths and rumors between amateurs, reliable information can only come from professional sources. You should have a place where you can meet safely without fear and where hygiene products are available. You must have money to buy contraceptives and pay for doctor visits and possible treatment. You should think in detail about the issue of relations with parents on this topic: what and when will you tell them so as not to live in constant fear? recognize / kill and not lie.

The first time is remembered for a lifetime. Not only conscious memory, but also unconsciously? this is the first experience that the organism meets, and it writes it down on a white sheet as an example, with which all the others are then compared. The first time can define your ideas about the norm for life, it's like New Year? how you meet, so you can hold? Therefore, try to make it perfect, do not let random impulses spoil future happiness.

You must love and feel loved. You don't have to fight with yourself and force yourself. And you have to ask yourself a hundred times? WHY do you want it .. and whether you want it. You must be confident and feel your dignity. If you hesitate? so it's not time yet. And it doesn't matter how old you are.

When NOT to start:

Blackmail. ?If you love? prove?. Love has never been proven in bed? and does not require proof at all, is it? a way of life, not a set of deeds-evidence. If you think that your love needs to be proved, then you yourself do not believe in it. Are you a free person and do not have to prove anything to anyone? Are you who you are? and another can be pretended, but not become. And if this does not suit someone, then it will not suit them further, and you will never be free with this person. If you succumb to blackmail and "prove" you will just voluntarily allow yourself to be used? And you precisely from this first of all will then feel bad? from the fact that they themselves allowed themselves to lose their dignity and betray their love - and even blame no one.

Victim. ?I want to give him the most precious thing, so that he understands how much I love him?. This is the same as the first option, only an even more perverted idea of ​​​​love. Love has nothing to do with sacrifice? it is a feeling that only free people are capable of, ready to recognize and respect freedom in others. Is that why he doesn't insist? he respects your freedom and waits for you to be ready and make your free choice, without sacrifice, yourself, without shifting the responsibility on him. Appreciate his nobility and be worthy of your partner. Take responsibility? do things without sacrificing for someone, but because you want it yourself. If you don't want to? don't do it. Understand that he will not be happy from your sacrifices, after which disappointment, regret and accusations of ingratitude will surely come. Do not humiliate your love with evidence, wait until you are ready.

If you consider the Beginning to be a proof of your love, its necessary criterion, its guarantee, your duty towards your beloved, an exam for your devotion, a sacrifice expected from you on the altar of love, and other similar thoughts hover in your head? Would you still wait? but you are expected to provide some material support for your words? wait! You are not ready yet.

Age. ?It is time?. This argument is not worthy of lengthy discussion. Readiness does not depend on calendar age. Why did you keep yourself up to such a venerable age, as you now think? To with the same doubts as before? still go against yourself? Are you doing this to tick off some critical year? You are no longer a little girl, if you are so worried about age? so you already have the ability to imagine? And what will happen then, after this desperate step? Something will really change in better side? Or do you then spend long nights communicating with your inner voice and making excuses? If you are doing this because you are “so many years old” and still lack something in your life? learn to love. With this skill will come true readiness and a worthy object.

Self-assertion. ?I'm already an adult, and this? the main occupation of adults?. Typical childhood trait? imitate adults, not understanding the essence of actions. Try on your mother's shoes, although they are terribly uncomfortable to walk in? why is she wearing this? because she is an adult. Make up? but now you won’t touch your eyes, you won’t go out into the rain, and in general your face has become so sloppy - why does she do this? Because adults all put on makeup, that’s how it should be. Pronounce? adults? words, although you yourself want to plug your ears? Try to smoke, drink, then suffer, then overcome your disgust and continue? and than I am worse than adults. And let it be bad for me, and let me be ridiculous in my childish attempts to imitate, and let me really not want all this at all. But that's how it's supposed to be. A teenager should rebel and do everything out of spite. Should he be different from a child? adults should finally see what a teenager? This is NOT a CHILD, but an adult. Do adults see a typical childish trait? try everything that is unknown and copy their adult behavior in your own way. They have always been touched by this trait, and now they are touched by it in the back of their minds, because in the first place, of course? their concern for your health, as in childhood when you played with glass and fire. But besides these experiences, are there any remaining thoughts? it's not - "how did he grow up", but? what else is he funny baby, and I thought? is he an adult? Like this. Keep this in mind just in case when you do something to prove your worth. Consistency, independence, freedom, self-respect, responsibility? all these are signs of an adult, not depending on his calendar age. And like all true values, they do not require proof, they are obvious! And if it seems to you that others do not recognize them for you? it just means they don't exist! Do not break your life, inventing evidence - engage in self-improvement, this will prove to everyone your Adulthood much faster.

And don't forget? adults do have more rights. But they also bear much more responsibility. And they dream of getting rid of it for a while and being able, as in childhood, to shift the responsibility onto another. For someone else to deal with the consequences of their mistakes. Unfortunately, in sexual life, each person disentangles his mistakes himself? Mom will be glad to transfer all your suffering to herself, but she won’t be able to! Infections are for you to treat, abortion is for you, infertility after an abortion is for you to treat. Are you mature enough and ready for such challenges? Or maybe we should wait with such self-affirmation and return to the good old antics like provocative hair and loud music? Let it be only touching, not tragic? evidence of your growing up :)

Curiosity. ?They talk about it so much? should I finally try it? Also a childhood classic. Try how fire burns, try how a toy breaks, try how a pencil draws? try drugs, try sex. So much talk! I want too. Don't like it? won't I? is this just a test? once.

You know? curiosity? it is a feature common to all living things. This is the basis of learning, gaining experience. Is it a beautiful property when properly satisfied? first due to someone else's experience! Everyone knows the saying that a fool learns from his mistakes, but a smart one? on strangers. Let now you do not trust the specific adults who surround you, and despise them personal experience. But there are books! Mankind has written all its experiences in books more than once! Why not once? Yes, because they also did not trust the experience of previous generations :); But the moment must come when the next inexperienced will be smarter than the previous ones? and not just read, but BELIEVE the experience of mankind. Believe that the drug is different from the usual substance that causes addiction? sometimes? from the first time, and will it cause you the first time? unknown, so rely on the experience of his friend? it is forbidden. He will believe that it is easy to get pregnant and get infected from the first unsuccessful time, and sex becomes the best pleasure in the world only when a person is ready for it!

I receive EVERY DAY the following emails: “Tried. I didn't feel anything good. Why are they talking about it so much? What am I doing wrong?? Maybe someone will take into account this experience? experience of your peers and contemporaries! I can assure you that if you are not yet ready? Your curiosity will not be satisfied. You will remain in the dark, moreover? in disappointment, will you blame yourself and your partner, can you lose faith in yourself and decide that you are not allowed to experience this pleasure at all? remember the importance of the first experience? the body can remember it as the norm? and give out these feelings all subsequent times? In general, if you really want to know what it is, read books about love, watch movies, develop yourself as a person and learn to love. And you will know everything in due time? only Small child can be offended by such a phrase, but the older a person is, the more often he repeats it? not just like that. And because it comes to him!

Fear of standing out. ?In our classroom/yard/institute? EVERYONE is already walking and talking! Only me?? This is a famous joke. And you, too, tell! :)) If you really want to be like everyone else? It's a classic sign of immaturity, but it does have an outlet. An adult, of course, will simply skip this item, because it does not concern him. The basis of his adulthood is that? that he is not afraid to be different. Not deliberately deliberately wants to stand out with an earring in his nose. This is a tool for those who have nothing else to stand out, forgive me those who want to be offended by this. Not specifically not to be like everyone else? because it is also not free! And just not to be afraid in some situations, when there is a choice between personal freedom and dogmas established by someone? choose your freedom. Here it is important not to confuse dogmas (such as the onset of sexual activity before a certain age) with norms (such as the onset of sexual activity with a condom). Rules are for people's safety! Dogmas have no rational explanation. This is how they differ.

How to prepare

Meet to basics anatomy And physiology female and male reproductive system. Find out how all this is correctly called, how it looks, how it works, what is true and what is a myth. There are many books and articles and even educational films about this. Do not trust information received from girlfriends.

Explore your menstrual cycle. Mark the days of the beginning of menstruation, count the length of the cycle. To understand later? delay or not. Do not immediately be afraid if the cycle is still irregular? this may be an age variation of the norm. Don't draw your own conclusions? If something is bothering you, the doctor should understand. Do not try to calculate dangerous and safe days from your schedules? there are none, you can get pregnant on any day of the cycle, even during menstruation. If someone from your acquaintances? carried?, when they? were protected? such a? method? ? it is a happy accident for them, which may not be so happy for you.

To keep the condom from falling off did not break in the process, it must be of high quality (well-known companies: Durex, Lifestile, Playboy, Contex, Preventor, Innotex, and not cheap Chinese), with an unexpired expiration date, bought at a pharmacy. Young people reading this paragraph should also remember that some girls, wanting to get pregnant, pierce the packaging - and check the integrity of the packaging themselves, but is it best? use the ones you buy yourself. What if it's true :(

You also need to know putting on a condom correctly: they all have a sperm reservoir at the tip, so it is necessary that there is no air in the condom (and in this reservoir in particular). It is when there is air inside that the pressure increases during movement, and the latex breaks. In order not to leave air inside, before putting on (before rolling out), it is necessary to tightly clamp the tank, releasing air from it, and then put it on an erect penis, again pressing it tightly and all the time squeezing out possible air down from the condom? into the street? . This is a certain skill that is not at all ashamed to learn alone on a cucumber or a banana.

During anal sex, some anatomical features, when even expensive condoms break, and also when you know that your partner is? a carrier of a serious illness, for example? hepatitis B, or when, due to certain circumstances (taking antibiotics, potent drugs, etc.), pregnancy is not just not needed, but its onset is catastrophic - sometimes it makes sense to put on two condoms at once.

Take off the condom it is also necessary on time and carefully, otherwise all precautions will be taken in vain if, after removal, the sperm enters the vagina.

Remember that pregnancy and infection can lead to contact sperm into the vagina. This does not necessarily mean violation of virginity. Can spermatozoa get from hands, clothes, underwear? during games and caresses. The hymen is not a barrier to sperm - it has a hole in it! You can get pregnant during anal sex if the sperm gets into the next hole later. Is it possible to get pregnant with interrupted intercourse, in particular? second time when the first one was with a condom? because there may be some semen on the penis. You can't get pregnant with oral sex, but is it possible to get infections? the same as in normal.

Remember that you have 72 hours after unprotected intercourse for some reason to resort to the so-called. emergency contraception- postinor? but this is just in case of an accident? rape or breaking a condom. It's an alternative to abortion, and that's how it should be treated, is it? not much harmless.

Know about the structure and features hymen. Everyone has it. But it is easily stretchable and does not always break. Very often, she only tears herself up, then there is very little blood for the first time, but does it appear on the second and third time, along with unpleasant sensations? it turns out that every time? like the first one. Don't worry, sooner or later it will end when it finally breaks completely. If bloody discharge during intimacy has a source not external, but internal? You need to go for an examination and check the condition of your cervix, with erosion this phenomenon is quite frequent. But we have already said that going to the doctor in any case is obligatory after the Beginning. Sometimes the hymen does not even tear, but only stretches. Then there is no blood at all, and you may receive a reproach from your partner for not virginity. And in the meantime? this is the most common of the possible situations. The hymen is stretched, do you feel discomfort not only for the first time, but also in subsequent ones, especially at the very beginning, which then disappear? this is normal! The hymen hole remained as it was, so at the beginning it is always unpleasant. But it stretches, and in the process the discomfort disappears, especially if there is enough lubrication. Finally, the hymen will most likely tear during childbirth. How do you understand virginity? it is not a condition of the hymen. Is it possible to keep anatomical virginity by having sophisticated forms of sex with different people for years, and vice versa? you can lose your virginity as a result of trauma or rape, remaining completely inexperienced for a long time. But if you are interested in the state of the hymen? such? virginity? easily restored surgically. Who are you fooling in this way? A man also judges your experience not by appearance hymen. And he also knows about the operations to restore virginity :)

Modern society for the most part lives by the rule: first career, then family. Thus, the birth of the first child has shifted to the age of about 25 years (for women) and 28-30 years (for men), but the average onset of sexual activity, as in grandfather-peasant times, falls on 14-16 years. What are the consequences of such a gap for teenagers?

The benefits of early sex

Psychologists have identified only two pluses of the early start of sexual life:

  1. The first is a short-term increase in a teenager's self-esteem (“I'm no worse than anyone”), strengthening his authority in that peer environment where early sexual relations are welcome.
  2. And the second is the satisfaction of the need for recognition and love, which is especially important for girls, who often regard sexual intimacy as evidence of a young man's reverent attitude towards them.

What threatens the early onset of sexual activity

However, according to psychologists, there are much more effective ways receiving recognition, love and strengthening authority in the team - outside of sexual relations, but the early onset of sexual relations threatens with a lot of trouble for both the fragile body and the psyche of young people.

Minus number 1. Pregnancy

Danger comes first early pregnancy. The paradox of teenage and youthful physical development is that, when ready for sexual activity, the body is practically not prepared for childbirth. The question arises: how did our grandmothers give birth at the age of 14-16?

The answer is simple: with such a rhythm, by the age of 42 a woman became a great-grandmother, but most often at 40 she was already a very old woman, and the average life expectancy was low. Frequent childbirth and hard physical labor, coupled with an early adult life, did not allow for a long time to maintain health.

However, in today's situation, only two out of ten pregnant women are talking about childbirth at such a young age. The remaining eight have an abortion. 60% of first pregnancies end in abortion, and two-thirds of girls who have an abortion before the age of 18 develop infertility.

Other complications of abortion:

  • rupture (perforation) of the uterus,
  • blood clotting disorders,
  • bleeding,
  • damage to the cervix,
  • inflammation of the ovary and / or appendages
  • etc.

If we talk about the long-term consequences of abortion, then these are:

  • increased risk of miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy,
  • diseases of the endocrine and nervous systems,
  • psychical deviations,
  • cervical and breast cancer.

In addition, girls who started living at 15 years of age are twice as likely to have cervical cancer later than those who started it at 19.

Minus number 2. Sexually transmitted diseases

This formidable group includes not only sexually transmitted diseases such as syphilis and gonorrhea, but also HIV, AIDS, viral hepatitis B and C, genital herpes, urea- and mycoplasmosis, chlamydia, cytomegalovirus, human papillomavirus (HPV). There are more than 40 such infections - and every 10 years, scientists discover new ones.

Some diseases are quite easily treated, others cause early death from concomitant diseases. The worst thing is that in order to get infected, one sexual contact (and sometimes just a “French” kiss) is enough. And many of the sexually transmitted diseases are asymptomatic, especially in girls.

Minus number 3. Psychological consequences

Sexologists say that regular sex life until the age of 18 inhibits mental and physical development. The fact is that sex is a huge stress for the psyche and the endocrine and nervous systems, which is beyond the power of a developing organism.

To avoid the consequences of stress, young people begin to use alcohol and drugs, change partners, but nothing gives them satisfaction. This causes many teenage depressions leading to suicide.

Doctors have proved the connection between the early onset of sexual activity and subsequent mental deviations: neuroses, affects, inadequate perception of reality.

However, even if depression has not reached, young people enter into adulthood with a whole heap of intrapersonal conflicts and problems, the main of which is infantilism. In the sphere of intersexual relations, it manifests itself as an inability to build harmonious relations, the expectation that fate will send the ideal partner, and his constant search.

In this case, there is no need to talk about a happy family life. According to statistics, more than 50% of marriages in people who have begun sexual activity before the age of 18 break up, and personal immaturity today is one of the main social problems, since its consequences are alcoholization and drug addiction of society, early mortality, and demographic collapse.

When to start having sex

Psychologists consider the optimal age for the onset of sexual activity to be 19-20 years old for girls and 22-24 years old for boys, that is, there is a gap of 5-10 years between the first sexual desires and complete physical and mental maturation. And what to do all these years? Scientists say: refrain.

The largest endocrinologists, physiologists, gynecologists and psychiatrists agree: there are no diseases that could be caused by abstinence in this age period.

Moreover, the energy required by young people to achieve full physical and social maturity is sublimated, that is, transformed from sexual energy. And when sexual energy is wasted, a person loses moral and physical reserves for growth and personal achievements.

This is well known to sports coaches. In big sport, sexual life is allowed only after 22-25 years, because only at this age does it become compatible with huge sports loads. And even for adults, physically mature athletes, 1.5-2 weeks before the competition, complete abstinence is recommended - for the accumulation and mobilization of forces.

The early onset of sexual activity, especially if the girl’s body is not yet prepared for it, is fraught with many problems in the intimate sphere and childbearing.

However, in today's situation, only two out of ten pregnant women are talking about childbirth at such a young age. The remaining eight have an abortion. 60% of first pregnancies end in abortion, and two-thirds of girls who have an abortion before the age of 18 develop infertility.

Sexologists say that regular sexual activity until the age of 18 hinders mental and physical development. The fact is that sex is a huge stress for the psyche and the endocrine and nervous systems, which is beyond the power of a developing organism.

To avoid the consequences of stress, young people begin to use alcohol and drugs, change partners, but nothing gives them satisfaction. This causes many teenage depressions leading to suicide.

When to start having sex?

Psychologists consider the optimal age for the onset of sexual activity to be 19-20 years old for girls and 22-24 years old for boys, that is, there is a gap of 5-10 years between the first sexual desires and complete physical and mental maturation. And what to do all these years? Scientists say: refrain.

The largest endocrinologists, physiologists, gynecologists and psychiatrists agree: there are no diseases that could be caused by abstinence in this age period.

Moreover, the energy required by young people to achieve full physical and social maturity is sublimated, that is, transformed from sexual energy. And when sexual energy is wasted, a person loses moral and physical reserves for growth and personal achievements.

This is well known to sports coaches. In big sport, sexual life is allowed only after 22-25 years, because only at this age does it become compatible with huge sports loads. And even for adults, physically mature athletes, 1.5-2 weeks before the competition, complete abstinence is recommended - for the accumulation and mobilization of forces.

When can you start having sex?

There are no strict age or physiological limits. You can start when the person is ready for it. Readiness is meant psychological and informational. Psychologically, you must want it, and want it with this person, right now, in the conditions that exist today, want it of your own free will, without feeling any sacrifice on your part. Informationally, you should know in detail the features of female and male anatomy, physiology, methods of protection against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, methods of emergency contraception in case of unforeseen circumstances, have the coordinates of a doctor who can be contacted at any time for help and not be afraid that he will not take you seriously, scold you and tell your parents everything.

You must not only know the theory of contraceptive methods, but also have contraceptives with you and be able to use them, and also accept the principle for yourself for life - take care of yourself. Your protection is your own business, not your partner's, even if he is more experienced and promises to take care of everything and you believe him in everything - do not let anyone be responsible for your life and health, except for yourself - NOBODY else can handle it with such a burden, and pay for it - only you and your unborn child. You must forever forget about the so-called. calendar method, calculation of safe days, coitus interruptus and safety of sexual life during menstruation. All these are myths worthy of only one thing - to be forgotten forever. You should also be aware of the ways to diagnose early pregnancy and how to terminate it real, not mythical.

You must exclude such a source of pseudo-medical information as the advice and experience of friends, mother or partner, Internet forums, articles in popular magazines, films - all this is an exchange of myths and rumors between amateurs, reliable information can only come from professional sources. You should have a place where you can meet safely without fear and where hygiene products are available. You must have money to buy contraceptives and pay for doctor visits and possible treatment. You should think in detail about the issue of relations with your parents on this topic: what and when you tell them, so as not to live in constant fear - they will find out / kill and not lie.

The first time is remembered for a lifetime. Not only by conscious memory, but also unconsciously - this is the first experience that the body encounters, and it writes it down on a white sheet as an example, with which all the others are then compared. The first time can determine your idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthe norm for life, it's like the New Year - how you meet, so you can spend it - Therefore, try to make it perfect, do not let random impulses spoil future happiness.

You must love and feel loved. You don't have to fight with yourself and force yourself. And you have to ask yourself a hundred times - WHY you want it .. and whether you want it. You must be confident and feel your dignity. If you hesitate, then it's not time yet. And it doesn't matter how old you are.

When NOT to start:

Blackmail. "If you love - prove it." Love has never been proven in bed - and it does not require proof at all, it is a way of life, not a set of proof actions. If you think that your love needs to be proved, then you yourself do not believe in it. You are a free person and are not obliged to prove anything to anyone - you are who you are - and you can pretend to be different, but not become. And if this does not suit someone, then it will not suit them further, and you will never be free with this person. If you succumb to blackmail and -prove-, you will simply voluntarily allow yourself to be used - and it is precisely from this that, first of all, it will be bad for you later - from the fact that you yourself allowed yourself to lose dignity and betray your love - and even blame someone.

Victim. "I want to give him the most precious thing, so that he understands how much I love him". This is the same as the first option, only an even more perverted idea of ​​​​love. Love has nothing to do with sacrifice - it is a feeling that only free people are capable of, ready to recognize and respect freedom in others. Therefore, he does not insist - he respects your freedom and waits until you are ready and make your free choice, without sacrifice, yourself, without shifting responsibility on him. Appreciate his nobility and be worthy of your partner. Take responsibility for yourself - do things without sacrificing for someone, but because you want it yourself. If you don't want to, don't do it. Understand that he will not be happy from your sacrifices, after which disappointment, regret and accusations of ingratitude will surely come. Do not humiliate your love with evidence, wait until you are ready.

If you consider the Beginning to be a proof of your love, its necessary criterion, its guarantee, your obligation to your beloved, an exam for your devotion, a sacrifice expected from you on the altar of love, and other similar thoughts hover in your head -. You would still wait - but some kind of material reinforcement of your words is expected from you - wait! You are not ready yet.

Age. "It is time". This argument is not worthy of lengthy discussion. Readiness does not depend on calendar age. Why did you keep yourself up to such a respectable age, as you now think - In order to go against yourself with the same doubts as before - You do this to put a tick in front of some critical year - You are no longer a little girl, if you are so worried about age - it means you already have the ability to imagine - what will happen next, after this desperate step - Something will really change for the better - Or you will then spend long nights communicating with your make excuses with your inner voice - If you are doing this because you are already so many years old, but still something is missing in life - learn to love. With this skill will come true readiness and a worthy object.

Self-assertion. "I'm already an adult, and this is the main occupation of adults." A typical childhood trait is to imitate adults, not understanding the essence of actions. Try on my mother's shoes, although they are terribly uncomfortable to walk in - why does she wear this, because she is an adult. Make up - but now you won’t touch your eyes, you won’t go out into the rain, and in general your face has become so sloppy - why does she do this, because adults all put on makeup, it’s necessary. Say -adult-words, although you yourself want to plug your ears- Try to smoke, drink, then suffer, then overcome your disgust and continue - and why am I worse than adults. And let it be bad for me, and let me be ridiculous in my childish attempts to imitate, and let me really not want all this at all. But that's how it's supposed to be. A teenager should rebel and do everything out of spite. He must be different from a child - adults must finally see that a teenager is NOT a CHILD, but an adult. And adults see a typically childish trait - to try everything that is unknown and copy their adult behavior in their own way. They have always been touched by this feature, they are touched by it even now in the back of their consciousness, because in the first place, of course, their concern for your health, as in childhood when you played with glass and fire. But besides these experiences, all the same, the remaining thoughts are not - -how he matured-, but -what a funny child he is, but I thought - he is already an adult-. Like this. Keep this in mind just in case when you do something to prove your worth. Consistency, independence, freedom, self-respect, responsibility - all these are signs of an adult, independent of his calendar age. And like all true values, they do not require proof, they are obvious! And if it seems to you that others do not recognize them for you, then they simply do not exist yet! Do not break your life, inventing evidence - engage in self-improvement, this will prove to everyone your Adulthood much faster.

And don't forget - adults do have more rights. But they also bear much more responsibility. And they dream of getting rid of it for a while and being able, as in childhood, to shift the responsibility onto another. For someone else to deal with the consequences of their mistakes. Unfortunately, in sexual life, each person clears up his mistakes himself - mom will be glad to transfer all your suffering to herself, but she can’t! Infections are for you to treat, abortion is for you, infertility after an abortion is for you to treat. You're old enough and ready for this challenge- Or maybe you should wait with that kind of self-affirmation and go back to the good old antics like provocative hair and loud music. Let it be only touching, not tragic - evidence of your growing up.

Curiosity. "There's so much talk about it - you should finally try it." Also a childhood classic. Try how fire burns, try how a toy breaks, try how a pencil draws - try a drug, try sex. So much talk! I want too. If you don't like it, I won't - it's just a test - once.

You know, curiosity is generally a trait inherent in all living things. This is the basis of learning, gaining experience. This is a wonderful property when it is correctly satisfied - first at the expense of someone else's experience! Everyone knows the saying that a fool learns from his own mistakes, and a smart one learns from others. Let now you do not trust the specific adults who surround you, and despise their personal experience. But there are books! Mankind has written all its experiences in books more than once! Why not once - yes, because she also did not trust the experience of previous generations; But the moment must come when the next inexperienced person will be smarter than the previous ones - and will not just read, but BELIEVE the experience of mankind. He will believe that the drug differs from the usual substance in that it causes addiction - sometimes - the first time, and it is not known whether it will cause you the first time, therefore, you cannot rely on the experience of your friend. He will believe that it is easy to get pregnant and get infected from the first unsuccessful time, and sex becomes the best pleasure in the world only when a person is ready for it!

I get emails EVERY DAY that say: "I tried it. I didn't feel good. Why is there so much talk about it? What am I doing wrong?" Maybe someone will take into account this experience - the experience of your peers and contemporaries! I can assure you that if you are not ready yet, your curiosity will not be satisfied. You will remain in the dark, moreover, in disappointment, you will blame yourself and your partner, you may lose faith in yourself and decide that you are not allowed to experience this pleasure at all - remember the importance of the first experience - the body can remember it as the norm - and give out these feelings all subsequent times - In general, if you really want to know what it is - read books about love, watch movies, develop yourself as a person and learn to love. And you will know everything in due time - and only a small child can be offended by such a phrase, and the older a person is, the more often he repeats it - for a reason. And because it comes to him!

Fear of standing out. "In our class / yard / institute - EVERYONE is already walking and talking! I'm the only one" This is a famous joke. And you, too, tell! If you really want to be like everyone else. It's a classic sign of immaturity, but it does have an outlet. An adult, of course, will simply skip this item, because it does not concern him. The basis of his adulthood is that he is not afraid to be different. Not deliberately deliberately wants to stand out with an earring in his nose. This is a tool for those who have nothing else to stand out, forgive me those who want to be offended by this. Not on purpose not to be like everyone else - because this is also lack of freedom! And just do not be afraid in some situations, when there is a choice between personal freedom and dogmas established by someone - choose your freedom. Here it is important not to confuse dogmas (such as the onset of sexual activity before a certain age) with norms (such as the onset of sexual activity with a condom). Rules are for people's safety! Dogmas have no rational explanation. This is how they differ.

How to prepare for the first time

Meet to basics anatomy And physiology female and male reproductive system. Find out how all this is correctly called, how it looks, how it works, what is true and what is a myth. There are many books and articles and even educational films about this. Do not trust information received from girlfriends.

Explore your menstrual cycle. Mark the days of the beginning of menstruation, count the length of the cycle. To then understand - a delay or not. Do not immediately be scared if the cycle is still irregular - this may be an age-related variant of the norm. Do not draw conclusions yourself - if something bothers you, the doctor should understand. Do not try to calculate dangerous and safe days from your schedules - there are none, you can get pregnant on any day of the cycle, even during menstruation. If one of your acquaintances was carried away when they were protected by this method, this is a happy accident for them, which may not be so happy for you.

To find your doctor. Here you can use the advice of friends or mothers, search on the Internet. The doctor should be available to you - psychologically and financially, without this you cannot start. The doctor should advise you regarding the selection of contraception, preferably BEFORE you start. And of course, you should come to the doctor immediately after the Beginning - take smears, look at the condition of the cervix - and then do it regularly.

Buy quality condoms and learn how to use them. Condoms should always be with you, the myth that this is the business of a man is a myth, this is what you need first of all. There should be several of them with you - in case of repeated sexual intercourse, because everyone should be protected - do not run to the pharmacy in the middle of the process. condom - the best remedy for initiating sexual activity, because it alone prevents the transmission of germs. And even if you start with a person in whom you are confident as in yourself, the composition of microbes in this person is still different. And when other people's microbes (normal, not infection) get to another person, they often cause an inflammatory process - just as a reaction to someone else's. This inflammation is not always a sexually transmitted infection, but it is a consequence of the transmission of foreign microbes, therefore it proceeds with the same signs and is treated in the same way - with antibiotics. Inflammation of the genital tract - colpitis, - thrush - and Bladder- cystitis - very frequent companions of the Beginning. If you start with a condom and use it for the first few months, trouble can be avoided. Even if you and your doctor have chosen hormonal contraception as a protection against pregnancy, you still need to use a condom at the beginning - because hormones do not save you from infections.

A condom only works if it is put on on time- at the very beginning, before the introduction of the penis into the vagina. Otherwise, if you put it on just before ejaculation, it is practically useless: the lubricant released from the head of the penis during intercourse contains spermatozoa and microorganisms - thus. and unwanted pregnancy and infection can occur even though you put on a condom afterwards. That is why such a common method of contraception as interrupted sexual intercourse is also ineffective, except that partners do not always have time to interrupt it. And again, if you have a lot of acquaintances who so far - carried - you should not risk your health - you should have an abortion, not them.

How to use a condom and what to tell your partner

To keep the condom from falling off did not break in the process, it must be of high quality (well-known companies: Durex, Lifestile, Contex, Preventor, Innotex, and not cheap Chinese), with an unexpired expiration date, bought at a pharmacy. Young people reading this paragraph should also remember that some girls, wanting to get pregnant, pierce packages - and check the integrity of the package yourself, and best of all - use those that you buy yourself. What if it's true.

You also need to know putting on a condom correctly: they all have a sperm reservoir at the tip, so it is necessary that there is no air in the condom (and in this reservoir in particular). It is when there is air inside that the pressure increases during movement, and the latex breaks. In order not to leave air inside, before putting on (before rolling out), it is necessary to tightly clamp the reservoir, releasing air from it, and then put it on an erect penis, again pressing tightly and all the time squeezing out possible air down from the condom - into the street - . This is a certain skill that is not at all ashamed to learn alone on a cucumber or a banana.

During anal sex, some anatomical features, when even expensive condoms break, and also when you know that your partner is a carrier of a serious disease, for example, hepatitis B, or when, due to certain circumstances (taking antibiotics, strong drugs, etc.), pregnancy is not is simply not needed, and its onset is catastrophic - sometimes it makes sense to put on two condoms at once.

Take off the condom it is also necessary on time and carefully, otherwise all precautions will be taken in vain if, after removal, the sperm enters the vagina.

Remember that pregnancy and infection can lead to contact sperm into the vagina. This does not necessarily mean violation of virginity. Spermatozoa can get from hands, clothes, underwear - during games and caresses. The hymen is not a barrier to sperm - it has a hole in it! You can get pregnant during anal sex if the sperm gets into the next hole later. You can get pregnant with interrupted intercourse, in particular - repeated, when the first one was with a condom - because there may be remnants of sperm on the penis. It is impossible to get pregnant during oral sex, but it is possible to get infections - the same as during normal sex.

Remember that you have 72 hours after unprotected intercourse for some reason to resort to the so-called. emergency contraception- postinor - but this is just in case of an accident - rape or a rupture of a condom. It is an alternative to abortion and should be treated as such, it is not much more harmless.

Know about the structure and features hymen. Everyone has it. But it is easily stretchable and does not always break. Very often it only strains, then there is very little blood for the first time, but it appears on the second and third time, along with unpleasant sensations - it turns out that every time is like the first. Don't worry, sooner or later it will end when it finally breaks completely. If spotting during intimacy has a source not external, but internal - you need to go for an examination and check the condition of your cervix, with erosion this phenomenon is quite frequent. But we have already said that going to the doctor in any case is obligatory after the Beginning. Sometimes the hymen does not even tear, but only stretches. Then there is no blood at all, and you may receive a reproach from your partner for not virginity. Meanwhile, this is the most common of the possible situations. The hymen is stretched, you feel discomfort not only for the first time, but also in subsequent ones, especially at the very beginning, which then pass - this is normal! The hymen hole remained as it was, so at the beginning it is always unpleasant. But it stretches, and in the process the discomfort disappears, especially if there is enough lubrication. Finally, the hymen will most likely tear during childbirth. As you understand, virginity is not a state of the hymen. You can keep anatomical virginity, having years of sophisticated forms of sex with different people, and vice versa - you can lose your virginity as a result of injury or rape, remaining completely inexperienced for a long time. But if it is the state of the hymen that interests you, such “virginity” is easily restored surgically. Who are you fooling with this way - man also judges your experience not by the appearance of the hymen. And he also knows about the operations to restore virginity :)

Learn about pregnancy diagnostics. If you doubt the reliability of your protection in advance, before menstruation, you can find out about pregnancy 8-10 days after sexual intercourse by donating blood from a vein to the pregnancy hormone - beta-hCG. There is NOTHING to know before. None of the "signs of pregnancy" - nausea, change in taste, sensitivity to smells, sensations in the abdomen, lower back, increased urination, sore breasts and/or nipples, breast engorgement, changes in weight and mood - are not reliable signs of pregnancy, as well as their absence is not a guarantee of its non-occurrence. Sometimes even menstruation cannot be a guarantee, because in early dates pregnancy may be a threat of interruption, expressed by bleeding. In the people it is called -washing the fetus-. Such - monthly - as a rule, differ from the usual ones in terms of abundance and soreness, after them all the sensations of "pregnancy" remain. Urine pregnancy test can be done before the first days of delay, until then his testimony is invalid. It can be false negative even after a delay, so if it does not show pregnancy, but there is no menstruation, go donate blood. Ultrasound shows pregnancy in the early stages - only after a week of delay and only done by a vaginal sensor and a skilled specialist. Otherwise, its negative result does not mean anything. An examination by a gynecologist on an armchair will also not say anything specific in the early stages. Therefore, the only reliable test is a blood test in combination with a vaginal ultrasound. Again - evaluate your readiness - You can go to a paid laboratory and take a paid urgent blood test from a vein for pregnancy in your city -..

Learn about. Termination of pregnancy is called abortion and there are no alternatives to it. No hot baths, herbs, milk with iodine, pills and other shamanistic tricks. All attempts to get rid of pregnancy without going to the doctor are dangerous for your life.

Get to know the basics psychology of the opposite sex. For example. Men tend to clearly separate love and sex. Women tend to combine them. The ability to share (even with the same person) comes with experience, but at first for girls these are synonymous words, and this is the reason for their broken hearts. No need to overtake your experience and stock up on cynicism - you just need to try to understand that your partner's attitude is different from your attitude. And this is normal, and he does not want to offend you, and he is not guilty of anything and he does not deceive you! It's just that men and women have different truths, that's all. Women tend to have sex because they love. And men - because they want to have sex. And how can you blame them for being honest, and women live in captivity of their fantasies, transfer their ideas to him and think that he lives according to their laws and if he has sex, it means he loves- How can you accuse men of cheating when they succumb to the persistent requests of women whose hearing is an erogenous zone - -say that you love-- How can you blame them when they repeat this to please a woman, because if they remain silent out of honesty, she will be even more unhappy, they already checked this - How can you later, when it turns out that it was just sex for them, to claim that they deceived you - you deceived yourself, not knowing, not wanting to know the features of their physiology and psychology. Men and women are from different planets, and if you want to keep your sanity while gaining experience, always remember this and don't be fooled. Be free and let your partner be free - and enjoy free communication.

Learn to please yourself. Study your body, your reactions, learn to have an orgasm. For some reason, many people think that a partner should teach them. Why he should know you better than you yourself - It is very important to learn BEFORE you start, then you will know what and how you should achieve, you will be able to teach your partner how to properly please you, and you will not be disappointed by early starters . For they often begin in order to find out why. And if you find out in advance, then this reason will disappear, and then there will be time and strength to wait for the true reason - mutual love. You will also be able to please yourself and your partner without violating your virginity and without exposing yourself to the risk of infections and unwanted pregnancies. And of course, in advance, avoid the need to pretend, imitate pleasure, so as not to convey your disappointment to your partner, who is not to blame for anything.

Train pelvic floor muscles. Exist special exercises Kegel, protozoa - squeezing the muscles of the anus and holding it in a compressed state, as well as interrupting the stream of urine during urination by force of the muscles - and holding it. This is not only useful for the pelvic organs - like any exercise, it not only increases the sensuality and strength of orgasm, it also helps prevent such a frequent unpleasant phenomenon as air entering the vagina during intimacy - this happens due to untrained muscles that cannot grip the penis tightly - then, as in the case of air in a condom - during movement, the pressure rises, and the air comes out with force - only in this case it exits through the entrance to the vagina, making a characteristic sound that can ruin your whole mood and sometimes - for a long time to settle in you shame and awkwardness.

Find the right one place, time and resolve the issue with parents.

How to start

First, you must be confident in yourself, that you are doing the right thing, of your own free will, and do not feel guilty about it before anyone.

Secondly, you must be confident in your partner and not be afraid to tell him something. He is not obliged to guess (and this is impossible) the thoughts in your head, and believe me, he is now worried a little less than you, and really wants to do everything that depends on him so as not to harm you. Because he treats you well and because he also understands the importance of the First time for subsequent ones - what attitude do you have towards It now - it will be very difficult to deal with such a later in the future, so it is beneficial for everyone that the first impression is good! Therefore, since you have common goals and objectives - help each other, do not become isolated in your supposedly personal problems, but learn to trust and talk about what worries you. Then it will be much easier for others to help you. Arrange in advance for signal, which will mean - immediately stop! - just in case.

Thirdly, you must create the right atmosphere. There must be a bath or shower, there must be a comfortable and -quiet-, not creaky bed, there must be a closed door, there must be peace of mind that no one will open this door from the other side.

To relax a little, a little wine won't hurt. Only a LITTLE - and wine, not vodka and beer. Otherwise, the action will be quite the opposite. Intoxication should not reach such an extent that you forget the need and the rules for putting on a condom.

Teach your partner to please you and get orgasm BEFORE penetration. Substances released in the brain during orgasm - endorphins - a person has learned to synthesize artificially - and called them narcotic analgesics - they eliminate pain, lull and cause addiction. Use natural analogues - it's that easy!

After you have enjoyed, endorphins take over your brain, and the amount of lubricant is enough for penetration, the condom is put on correctly - you can have the first sexual intercourse itself - defloration. Still, remember the physiology - there is a hymen and it needs to be torn - so the feeling of an obstacle is normal, the unpleasant sensations of tension and even squeaking are normal, acute pain is normal, blood is normal. Also remember that for many, the hymen does not tear, but stretches, and therefore the absence of a sensation of an obstacle, the absence of blood is also normal. Do not leave the pain - on the contrary, lean towards it and open up - you yourself want it - so do what you want yourself - and enjoy it - it will quickly cover temporary pain. If anything - you always have the opportunity to give the coveted signal. An alternative that is sometimes resorted to - artificial, surgical defloration - going to the doctor and cutting the hymen with a scalpel or a surgical laser - does not solve the problem of pain - the hymen itself remains in place and still there will be pain at the first entry. In addition, the incisions can heal - and everything will have to start all over again. except pathological conditions- see article "" - natural defloration can be tolerated, especially if you get an orgasm before that. The main reason for your feelings during sexual life - pleasant or unpleasant, the selection of one among all and fixation on it - is psychological, not physical. Therefore, you must first prepare and solve problems in your head and life, and then start new life with joy, not fear and deliberate expectation of the bad.

If lubricants not enough, you can use artificial, BUT! When using a condom - only water-based - gels. You can special, sold in sex shops - for example, Montavit gel. You can use other gels sold in a pharmacy, for example, solcoseryl gel - not intended for lubrication, but which can replace it. Fat-based creams and ointments, including hand creams, face creams, baby creams, liquid paraffin, dissolve latex, so they should never be used with a condom.

After any intimacy, a shower is desirable, and after defloration, a shower is required. Or a bath.

Then you can do whatever you want - everything you read about and saw in films, everything you dreamed about - love each other. Do not forget that EVERYONE should be protected sexual intercourse in your life, not just the first.

If you know all this in advance, along with the basics of contraception, you will be really ready for the No-Drama Beginning. No one gets behind the wheel without learning the rules. traffic. And how well a person has learned them, as well as how well he understands driving a car, depends on his own safety, even if other drivers make mistakes.

And once again about age. Where, after all, is that criterion - up to this point it is still too early, but from now on - it is possible - And why does age not matter when the Beginning is a clear exit to adulthood. You can't become an adult when you're a child. And you can't, as an adult, keep your virginity - it's illogical. In fact, there is a criterion. And it really is adulthood. Adult- this is a person who is able to take responsibility for his health, his life, and also ready to take additional responsibility for the health of another adult person - his partner, and also - always ready to take responsibility for a possible child that an adult can always have. That's when you - financially, informationally, psychologically - are ready to take responsibility for yourself, your partner and your unborn child - to bear it yourself, without blaming anyone, knowing what you will do specifically when problems arise - this means that you are old enough to start. And then, when you want to do this, this is already your free choice, which should not at all depend on age and other false reasons that we tried to sort out in this article.