Perceptions in different age groups about marriage. Ideas about family and marriage. The study of the features of representations of the image of the family and values in the parental and family of men and women with different forms of marriage
THESIS
INFLUENCE OF THE IMAGE OF THE FAMILY OF PARENTS ON THE SPECIFICITY OF FAMILY RELATIONS IN MARRIAGE
Introduction
Chapter 2. Findings from the Empirical Study
2.3.1 Research
Chapter 2 Conclusions
Introduction
Relevance. It has already become customary to call the outgoing 20th century a century of revolutions: social, scientific and technical, space. With full right it can be called the century of the revolution of family and marriage relations. Since the beginning of our century, major social changes have begun that have also transformed marriage and the family. In modern society, it has become "fashionable" among young people to live together, without registering their relationship, in the so-called "civil" marriage. And every year the popularity of such relationships is growing.
It should be clarified that in domestic legal practice, a civil marriage is understood as an unregistered relationship between a man and a woman living together in the same territory and conducting a joint household for 1 month.
In domestic psychological science, this important phenomenon and the relationships associated with it remain completely unexplored, while in the West a number of works by psychologists have already appeared devoted to this phenomenon of the social life of society, including the origins, causes of this phenomenon, the relationship between a man and a woman. , parents and children in such a union, the attitude of society towards such cohabiting unions
Family problems have always been at the center of attention of social psychologists. In psychology, a lot of experience has been accumulated in the study of family and marriage: the socio-psychological aspect of communication in the family and its role in the process of personality formation (B.P. Parygin, A.G. Kharchev, V.M. Rodionov); emotional attitude in the family (Z.I. Fainburg); their influence on the stabilization of intra-family relations, the conditions for the stability of the family (Yu.G. Yurkevich). However, there is practically no coverage in the literature of the influence of parental family on spouses. And the information that is available is limited mainly to a discussion of theoretical problems, at the same time, issues of organization and features of the application of practical methods are left without attention.
In recent years, as many sociologists and demographers note, a number of negative phenomena have been observed in the development of the family institution in our country - the number of single people is growing, the number of divorces is increasing, etc. The solution of such problems is unthinkable without studying the mechanisms of intra-family relations. In that work. All this, as well as a number of disagreements regarding the criteria for success - the failure of marriage, allows us to conclude that the modern picture of the processes taking place in the family that affect the satisfaction of spouses with marriage needs closer consideration. Therefore, any study (including ours) concerning the modern institution of family and marriage is relevant, because the knowledge gained can enrich both the fundamental theoretical ideas of the scientist and the methodological tools of a practitioner involved in optimizing interpersonal relationships in the family.
Purpose of the study: study of the influence of the image of the parental family on the specifics of family relations in marriage.
Object of study: family image.
Subject of study: the influence of the image of the parental family on the specifics of family relations.
Hypotheses:
The image of the parental family various influences on the system of relations and values that are formed in different types families.
The appearance of a child in a family can have an impact on marital satisfaction.
To achieve this goal and test the hypotheses put forward, it was necessary to solve the following tasks:
1. Conduct a theoretical analysis and identify possible components of the family image.
2. Consider the main theoretical provisions that define the concept of "civil" marriage.
3. To analyze the degree of consistency in the images of the parental and their families between men and women in various types of families.
4. Consider the influence of the current system of values on satisfaction with marital relations.
5. Consider the influence of the image of the parental family on the value-motivational system of men and women in various types of families.
To solve the tasks and test the initial assumptions, the study used a complex methods and techniques:
Theoretical: analysis of psychological literature on the research topic;
Psychodiagnostic: the technique "Scale of the family environment" adapted by S.Yu. Kupriyanov (1985); method "Value Orientations" by M. Rokeach (1978); test - the Marriage Satisfaction Questionnaire (MSQ), developed by V.V. Stolin, T.L. Romanova, G.P. Butenko.
Statistical: analysis of mean values of features, comparison of distributions, correlation and dispersion analyses.
The study data were processed using the "STATISTICA" package.
The total sample in the empirical study consisted of 30 married couples, aged 18-34, residents of Tomsk. All couples have been married for one to three years. The sample was conditionally divided into three groups. The first group includes couples living in a "civil marriage", the second group - men and women who are officially married, and the third group, respectively, couples who are officially married and have children.
Scientific novelty and theoretical significance research is that in the work:
Scientific ideas about the concept of "image of the family" and "civil marriage" are generalized and systematized.
Significant differences in these concepts are revealed.
Practical significance research lies in the possibility of using the results obtained in family counseling, psychological correction and other areas of practical psychology. The established dependencies make it possible to predict possible problems in marriage, to ensure the prevention of family and parent-child relationships.
Scientific validity and the validity of the results obtained is ensured by a comprehensive analysis of scientific literature on the problem of family relations and methods of studying it; the use of methods adequate to the purpose, subject and object of the study, the representativeness and balance of the sample (30 couples), the use of various methods of mathematical statistics for data processing.
Chapter I. The image of the family of the spouses, as a component of the image of the world
The first chapter deals with the concepts of the image of the world and the image of the family in the works of foreign and domestic psychologists; reveals the features of the structure of the family image; definition criteria. The concept of marriage is described, the features of "civil" marriage are revealed. A review of domestic and foreign literature is also made regarding such a concept as satisfaction with marriage.
1.1 The concept of the "image of the world" in psychological science
In the works of researchers dealing with the problems of forming the image of the world, there is no well-established conceptual apparatus, there are a number of categories that do not have a single interpretation. An appeal to the sphere of the formation of the image of the world is found in various fields of knowledge: psychology, pedagogy, philosophy, ethnology, cultural studies, sociology, etc. The category "image of the world" is found relatively recently and is designated as a "snapshot" of the work of consciousness, as a source of images.
In the field of psychology, the theoretical development of the category "image of the world" is presented in the works of G.M. Andreeva, E.P. Belinskaya, V.I. Brul, G.D. Gacheva, E.V. Galazhinsky, T.G. Grushevitskaya, L.N. Gumilev, V.E. Klochko, O.M. Krasnoryadtseva, V.G. Krysko, V. S. Kukushkina, Z.I. Levina, A.N. Leontiev, SV. Lurie, V.I. Mathis, Yu.P. Platonova, A.P. Sadokhin, E.A. Sarakueva, G.F. Sevilgaeva, S.D. Smirnova, T.G. Stefanenko, L.D. Stolyarenko, V.N. Filippova, K. Jaspers and others.
For the first time the concept of "image of the world" in psychology was introduced by A.N. Leontiev, he defined this category as a mental reflection taken in the system of connections and relations of the subject with the world around him. In his writings, the image of the world is considered as a holistic, multi-level system of a person's ideas about the world, other people, about himself and his activities. A.N. Leontiev studied the process of the appearance of the image of the world, explaining it by the active nature that sets the image as a moment of its movement. The image arises only in activity and therefore is inseparable from it, the problem of generating an objective image of the world is the problem of perception, "the world in its remoteness from the subject is amodal".
Based on the provisions of A.N. Leontiev, N.G. Osukhova builds through the prism of the subjective image of the human world, comparing it with the concept of "myth" in the cultural sense that this term has acquired today. She defines the image of the world as "an individual myth of a person about himself, other people, the life world in the time of his life." This researcher considers this category as a holistic mental formation, noting that it exists at the cognitive and figurative-emotional levels. Considering the constituent components included in the image of the world, N.G. Osukhova singles out the "image of the Self" as a system of ideas and attitudes of a person towards himself in the course of life, including everything that a person considers his own. In addition, the image of another person, the image of the world as a whole and the psychological time of the individual are considered.
A.N. Leontiev, revealing the structure of the image of the world, made a conclusion regarding its multidimensionality. Moreover, the number of dimensions was determined not only by three-dimensional space, but also by the fourth - time, and the fifth quasi-dimension, "in which the objective world opens up to man" . The explanation of the fifth dimension is based on the fact that when a person perceives an object, he perceives it "not only in its spatial dimensions and in time, but also in its meaning" . It is with the problem of perception that A.N. Leontiev linked the construction of a multidimensional image of the world in the mind of an individual, his image of reality. Moreover, he called the psychology of perception concrete scientific knowledge about how, in the process of their activity, individuals build an image of the world "in which they live, act, which they themselves remake and partially create; this knowledge is also about how the image of the world functions. mediating their activity in the objectively real world". .
Considering the dimension of the image of the human world, V.E. Klochko emphasizes its multidimensionality, revealing it as follows: "A multidimensional image of the world, therefore, can only be the result of a reflection of a multidimensional world. The assumption that the human world has four dimensions, while others are added to the image, making it multidimensional, is without any foundation "First of all, it is difficult to imagine the very process of bringing new dimensions to the emerging image. In addition, the main thing will be lost: the ability to explain the mechanism of selectivity of mental reflection. Measurements characteristic of a person proper (meanings, meanings and values) represent objects included in the human world, and are qualities of the objects themselves. This ensures their difference from an infinite set of objective phenomena, simultaneously affecting the human senses, but not penetrating consciousness, thereby determining both the content of consciousness at any given moment of time and its value-semantic richness" (55 ).
S.D. Smirnov notes the main characteristics of the image of the world:
1. The amodality of the image of the world is explained as follows: “These properties (i.e., supersensible components, such as meaning, meaning) enter into our image of the world just as directly as the sensually perceived properties of the first kind, although they, as a rule, do not can be identified on the basis of perception and are not discovered by the subject in the course of his individual activity, but are products of the socio-historical process, being fixed in concepts, language, cultural objects, community norms, etc. The image of the human world is a universal form of organizing his knowledge, in other words, the image of the world is not so much a reflection of the past and present as a reflection of the future, i.e. it is a system of our expectations, forecasts about what will happen in the near or distant future in the conditions of our inaction or when performing certain actions, deeds.
2. The holistic nature of the image of the world. Those. the image of the world does not consist of images of individual phenomena and objects, but from the very beginning it develops and functions as a whole. This means that any image is nothing
other than an element of the image of the world, and its essence is not in itself, but in that place, in the function that it performs in a holistic reflection of reality.
3. Multilevel structure of the image of the world. Following A.N. Leontiev S.D. Smirnov also distinguishes between nuclear and surface structures of the image of the world in structural terms. This scheme (image) of the world has the character of a nuclear structure in relation to what appears on the surface in the form of one or another modally designed and, therefore, subjective (A.N. Leontiev, 1979, p. 9) picture of the world (visual, auditory, etc.).
4. Emotional and personal meaning of the image of the world. "If the image of the world really is a reflection of the future, i.e. it is a system of forecasts and extrapolation, then the selectivity of such forecasting is quite obvious. It is, first of all, built in relation to important and significant events for a person that are associated with the activity of the subject and his needs "(130, p.154).
5. Secondary image of the world in relation to the outside world. "In the genetic aspect, the primary is the direct practical contact of the subject with environment and other people. The image of the world, of course, is secondary in relation to the objective external world, the subjective reflection of which it is (130, p. 155).
S.D. Smirnov continued in his works the consideration of the category "image of the world", noting the possibility of extending this concept to the area of rational knowledge - thinking. First of all, he made an attempt to analyze the application of this concept in other psychological schools. In particular, he notes that the concept of "image of the world" is widely used by cognitive psychologists, who often use such expressions as a picture of the world, an idea of oneself and the universe, and a model of the universe. But at the same time, an image, a picture of the world is understood as a certain set of images of individual objects and phenomena that act as primary in relation to it. Proponents of this approach failed to overcome the stimulus-reactive model of a person, they follow the path of increasing complexity of this model, placing more and more complex intermediate variables between S (stimulus) and R (response). It is as such a middle link in S-O-R pattern all variants of cognitive formations are considered, including the image, picture of the world.
Along with the category "image of the world" there is the concept of "representation of the world", however, according to a number of authors, they are not identical. These concepts are divorced, for example, in the works of V.V. Petukhov, in which the first is associated with problems of perception, the second - with various mental representations. An analysis of a number of works by psychologists shows that the authors agree that the image of the world is functionally and genetically primary in relation to any particular image or sensory experience, i.e. any image that arises in a person depends on what image of the world is formed in him. The essence of this phenomenon should be sought in the processes of the work of consciousness, which serves as a source of formation of images. The reason for the generation and transformation of a certain image of the world lies in the mechanism of the functioning of human consciousness, which draws our attention to the consideration of this phenomenon.
In psychology, consciousness is represented as the highest level of mental reflection and self-regulation of a person. Usually there are two levels - public and individual consciousness. Public consciousness includes various social conventions, norms and rules that are projected into the individual. K. Abulkhanova-Slavskaya, exploring human consciousness, notes that it perceives not what is in the world as a whole, but, first of all, what is relevant for the individual, i.e. what seems significant in the image of the world, and this determines the direction of the work of consciousness. A.V. Libin believes that the differences in the inner world of a person lie in the differences in preference systems. In his opinion, consciousness is determined by the values and meanings of the set of polar scales that set the coordinates of individuality in the flow of various events imprinted in the psyche. V.E. Klochko considers the formation of consciousness, deriving the source of human development from the constant contradiction between the way of life and the image of the world. V.E. Klochko notes that the image of the world does not arise in the mind from birth, but is formed gradually, becoming more complex as it acquires new coordinates. The multidimensional world of a person is explained as a special layer of psychological reality that mediates the relationship between the subject and the object.
Thus, analyzing the above data, it can be argued that the category "image of the world" is a multilevel system, it is multidimensional, selective, and includes everything that is significant for a person. We assume that the "image of the family" is an element of the "image of the world" and directly depends on how the "image of the world" is formed.
1.2 The problem of the "image of the family" in modern psychology
The problem of the family has always been of mass and sustained interest. There are many definitions of the family that single out various aspects of family life as family-forming relations, ranging from the simplest (for example, a family is a group of people who love each other, or a group of people who have common ancestors or live together) and ending with extensive lists of family signs. Among the definitions of the family, taking into account the criteria of socio-psychological integrity, the definition of the family as an open social system, which has a number of the following features, attracts:
1) the system as a whole is greater than the sum of its parts,
2) something that affects the system as a whole, affects every single element within it,
3) a disorder or change in one part of the unity is reflected in a change in other parts and the system as a whole (JacksonD., 1965).
That is, the family, as a living organism, constantly exchanges information and energy with the environment and is an open system, the elements of which interact with each other and with external institutions ( educational institutions, production, the church, etc.) Forces from outside and from within have both positive and negative influences on it. In turn, the family influences other systems in a similar way (MinuchinS., FishmanH.S., 1981).
Thus, the family system works under the influence of the laws of homeostasis and development, has its own structure (the structure of family roles, family subsystems, external and internal boundaries between them) and parameters (family rules, interaction stereotypes, family myths, family histories, family stabilizers).
The ideas of family members about their family are saturated with prominent truths - family postulates. Family postulates E.G. Eidemiller defines as the judgments of family members about their family (that is, about themselves and about other family members, about individual scenes in the life of the family and about the family as a whole), which seem obvious to them and by which they are guided (consciously or unconsciously) in their behavior.
Also, the internal image of the family includes the individual's idea of himself, his needs, opportunities, other family members with whom the individual is connected by seed relations, and the nature of these relations.
The general development of the internal image of the family about itself occurs throughout the entire life cycle of many family generations: when a person learns to be aware of what is happening in the family, to understand the interconnection of various aspects of her life, relationships, feelings of all its members. This happens due to: a) socialization (the child learns this from parents in the course of everyday communication and transfers the acquired skills to the family that he creates himself); b) thanks to culture and mass media; c) thanks to interpersonal communication, "interpersonal network", which includes the family system (Bowen M., 1966, 1971).
Thus, the idea of an individual about the life of his family is an independent, complex mechanism that is necessary for the successful functioning of the family. T.M. Mishina in 1983 introduced the concept of "the image of the family, or the image of" we "as a phenomenon of family self-consciousness, by which she meant a holistic, integrated education. "One of the most important functions of family self-consciousness is the holistic regulation of family behavior, coordinating the positions of its individual members. An adequate image of "we" determines the lifestyle of the family, in particular marital relations, the nature and rules of individual and group behavior. An inadequate image of "we" is a coordinated selective representation of the nature of relationships in dysfunctional families, creating for each member of the family and the family as a whole, an observable public image - a family myth. The purpose of such a myth is to disguise those unsatisfied needs, conflicts that family members have, and to agree on some idealized ideas about each other. For harmonious families, a consistent image of "we" is characteristic, for dysfunctional families - a family myth.
Synonyms of the image of the family are the concepts of "family myth", "beliefs", "beliefs", "family credo", "role expectations", "coordinated protection", "we image", "naive family psychology", etc. (Eidemiller E. G., Yustitsky V.V., 1999).
Under the family myth, many authors understand a certain unconscious mutual agreement between family members, the function of which is to prevent the awareness of rejected images (ideas) about the family as a whole and about each of its members (Mishina T.M., 1983; Eidemiller E.G. ., 1994).
Numerous studies by psychologists and sociologists have revealed that the ideas of boys and girls about the future family life is formed spontaneously in the parental family - either as a desire for repetition, or as a desire to do everything differently, etc. Moreover, in many cases, these ideas make up for what was missing in the parental home, that is, they are of a kind of compensatory nature.
The mentality of Russians is characterized by the sacrifice of life goals in favor of the claims of their children: children should be better educated and live better than their parents. Exaggerated parental claims directly affect children, who also have inflated aspirations, and real opportunities for their realization are sharply reduced.
As a result of a number of reasons, modern teenagers develop a deformed, distorted image of the family.
N.I. Shevandrin identifies the following factors that contribute to the formation of inadequate marriage and family attitudes among the younger generation (Shevandrin. Social psychology in education. - M .: VLADOS, 1995) .:
1. immoral behavior of parents (alcoholism, deviant behavior);
2. incomplete family composition;
3. insufficient level of knowledge and skills of parents in raising children;
4. negativity of relations between parents;
5. conflict relations in the family;
6. intervention by relatives in family affairs, raising children.
So, now you can see a lot of existing definitions and concepts of the image of the family, in which you can clearly identify common features:
1. the image of the family is a socio-psychological phenomenon (holistic, integrated education), which is a family consciousness, family identity.
2. one of the most important functions of the family image is the holistic regulation of the behavior of the family, the coordination of the positions of its individual members.
3. The image of the family is determined through the main components of the structure of the family as a system.
4. The image of the family usually functions within the rules of the family system and mainly at an unconscious level.
1.3 The influence of the parental family on the system of relationships in marriage
In the family, a model of intra-family relations is laid, communication skills are acquired with different people - by age, interests, personal characteristics. Socially adaptive skills and abilities of different levels and orientation are formed.
Most often in the literature, the influence of parents (more often mother) on mental development child. There are a number of theoretical approaches to understanding the role and content of parent-child relationships formulated by different psychological schools. These include: the psychoanalytic model (Z. Freud, E. Erickson, F. Dolto, D.V. Winnicott, K. Butner, E. Berne), the behavioral model (J. Watson, B.F. Skinner, R. Sire , A. Bandura), humanistic model (A. Adler, R. Dreykurs, D. Nelsen, L. Lott, K. Rogers, T. Gordon). In "psychoanalytic" and "behavioral" models, the child is presented rather as an object of parental efforts, as a being that needs to be socialized, disciplined, and adapted to life in society. The "humanistic" model implies, first of all, the help of parents in the individual development of the child. Therefore, the desire of parents for emotional closeness, understanding, sensitivity in relations with children is welcomed. However, the influence of the parental family remains practically unexplored.
A special place in the process of forming positive marriage and family attitudes is occupied by the period of childhood, which is associated with the parental family. At this time, an idea of \u200b\u200bthe family is formed, the personality traits of the future family man are laid. The social orientation of children in social and historical experience begins with the comprehension of the image of the family (A.V. Zaporozhets, A.N. Leontiev, V.A. Petrovsky, N.N. Poddyakov).
The family is a multifaceted system in which there is not only interaction and relationship in the "parent-child" dyad, but also the interpenetration of the world of adults into the world of children, which can objectively contribute to the formation of an "image of the family" in children.
The family atmosphere contributes to the development of a rich emotional life in the child (empathy, sympathy, compassion and grief), which is important for the formation of a positive family image.
I.V. Grebennikov notes that in the process of life itself, young people adopt from the older generation "a lot of knowledge about relationships to a person of the opposite sex, about marriage, about the family, learns the norms of behavior in family life. (Grebennikov. Fundamentals of family life. - M .: Education, 1991 ).
N. Pezeshkian, the founder of positive psychotherapy, is confident in the importance of the psychological "heritage" of a person and the indifference of origin as a factor of identity. He uses the concept of "family concepts" that define the rules of relations to people and things: from one generation to another, it is not so much material goods that are transferred, but strategies for processing conflicts and forming symptoms, worldview structures and attitude structures that pass from parents to children. Concepts originate in the critical experiences of one of the family members, in religious and philosophical ideas, take root, assimilate children and are again transmitted to the next generation of children. Examples of family concepts: "What people will say", or "Neatness is half life", "Nothing is easy", "Loyalty to death", "Achievement, honesty, thrift", etc. They are partly realized and formulated by the carrier in a concise form in the form of favorite sayings, orders to children, comments on situations: "Be faithful and honest, but show what you are capable of" or "We should have everything as in the best houses." For the most part, however, they remain unconscious and act implicitly.
So, F. Le Play believes that if a child continues to live with his parents after his marriage, then a vertical connection is formed in an extended home group. An authoritarian model of family relations is being formed. If, on the contrary, he leaves the parental home after leaving adolescence, starts his own household for his own marriage, then the liberal model comes into play, asserting the independence of the individual. For the liberal model, the continuity of the family group, its continuation, is not a value.
The Swiss psychologist A. Zondi (psychology of fate. - Yekaterinburg, 1994) design speaks of the "generic unconscious" as a form of mental heredity. A person in his life tends to realize the claims of his ancestors - parents, grandfathers, great-grandfathers. This influence is especially pronounced, according to the author, at important moments of life that are of a fateful nature: when a person makes his professional choice or is looking for a job, a life partner. Thus, a person, solving the most important issues of self-determination, is not completely "free", he is not a "blank slate", since in his person he represents the clan, his ancestors, who delegated "assignments" to him. However, this does not mean that the fate of a person is rigidly programmed and it remains only to follow some instinctive impulses. A person can overcome imposed tendencies, rely on his own internal reserves and build his own destiny consciously.
In Russian psychology, E.G. Eidemiller and V.V. Justickis consider pathological family inheritance, which is characteristic of dysfunctional families, as the formation, fixation and transmission of emotional and behavioral responses from grandparents to parents, from parents to children, grandchildren, etc. rigid, irrational, rigidly interconnected beliefs, borrowed from representatives of the older generation, form a personality incapable of adaptation, suffering from borderline neuropsychiatric disorders.
It can be noted with regret that so far it is the phenomena of the distorting influence of unconscious determinants on behavior that are attracting more attention of specialists. young man, phenomena of "negative" psychological inheritance. Thus, Artamonova E. connects this with the fact that psychologists and psychotherapists are primarily interested in people who have not resolved their internal conflicts and are in a state of crisis.
In the psychology of family relations, modern psychologists single out the concept of duplication of parental properties, which suggests that a person learns to fulfill the male and female roles to a large extent from his parents and unconsciously uses the model of parental relations in his family (V.S. Torokhtiy, 1996).
Preparation for family life unfolds early in life. Marital and parental socialization, as noted by D.N. Isaev, V.E. Kagan, begins in the 2nd year of life, when a child in family communication perceives the first examples of masculinity and femininity. The matrimonial and parental behavior of the mother and father still remains in the shadows, is not realized by the child, but it is they who find themselves in the role of conductors of sex roles. At 2-3 years old, when the child knows his gender and begins to correlate "his" I "with ideas about people of his own and the other sex, in role playing he carries out masculine and feminine behavior as, first of all, marital and parental (sociosexual games of "father-mother", "mother-daughter", etc.). These games reflect the formation of the first, simplest level of family attitudes, which correspond to the general stereotypes of the family. Already in these games, boys perform roles associated with leaving the family and returning to it (hunting, war, work, etc.), and girls perform roles associated with the house; boys are more eccentric and instrumental in their playing style, while girls are more concentric and emotional. These playful reincarnations are one of the strong ways of forming marital and parental roles. The main mechanism of this formation is identification and imitation. The child identifies with the parent of the same gender and imitates his behavior in cases where the parent is cold, rude, unfair, cruel.
Many adults in their family reproduce the "handwriting" of the parental family. These deep unconscious or psychologically conflict-conscious identification attitudes, according to D.N. Isaeva and V.E. Kagan, with all the difficulty of their correction, they must still be controlled by adults so as not to be reproduced again in children. To a certain extent, the attitudes acquired at this age also depend on the structure of the child's character.
At the same age - 3-5 years old - children ask their parents for a brother or sister, they are touchingly affectionate and caring with the younger ones. The appearance of another child in the family is usually not accompanied by childish jealousy. Not every family has a second child at this time. But the reaction of parents to children's requests becomes essential - condemning, repulsive, forbidding or gently explaining. Sometimes parents try to take a detour, a substitute way of acquiring pets. This is the age of intensive laying of the foundations of love for children.
The younger student is already trying to understand the family situation, to understand and evaluate the positions of the parents, to develop their own. In conflicts with a parent, a conscious desire to "be different" may already appear. During the period of sexual homogenization, it can sometimes be observed that while one child approaches a parent of the same sex, another seeks closeness with an adult of the same sex outside the family. This is a serious signal for parents, indicating their small educational potential in the future. The less a child is emotionally satisfied with the situation in the parental family, the more he apparently perceives extra-family patterns - and then much depends on what these patterns are.
Adolescence poses increasingly complex challenges for educators. Emancipatory tendencies, high criticality of a teenager make him a strict judge of relations in the parental family. Reality is often perceived through the prism of one's own, prone to naive idealization, romantic love. Many call it trifles, although, in fact, these are the most important problems that create difficulties for both a teenager and adults.
For a teenager - because he is not yet ready for this: falling in love and his own family are as close to him as they are far from each other. The concept of "having a child" is associated by adolescents mainly with pregnancy and, at best, with a baby in a stroller, but not with many years of caring for him. Death is associated with hospitals and funerals, but not with a sense of loss. A well-known difficulty is that the feelings of adolescents are immature, the ideas are naive and contrasting, and the openness to the world is enormous.
For adults - because they see in the relationship of a teenager what they internally fear. Parents often tend to equate adolescent infatuation with love leading to marriage. As a result, a contradictory system of relations develops, requiring parents to make efforts, often considerable ones, in order to take positions that reduce stress.
General standards of family life and individual attitudes are not easy to reconcile even for an adult. It is very important that a teenager can behave and express his opinion without fear of judgmental reactions of educators. D.N. Isaev and V.E. Kagan indicate that the task is to form such skills of individual refraction of universal and enduring values that would not contradict either these values or individual needs and characteristics. The family has great opportunities for instilling in young men masculine honor, respect for the girl, and in girls pride, modesty, self-esteem; the formation of self-control, self-discipline, endurance and a sense of responsibility in youth.
The world of childhood that is opening up to adults in modern times, the supervalue of an only child, the connection of plans for the future not with practical life skills, but with the search for ways to develop real or imaginary giftedness - all this leads to the fact that many children live outside the family life, are not familiar with him. When yesterday's "child" finds himself in his own family, he is striking in his helplessness in elementary situations.
Young spouses often expect each other to take on the role of a parent, but neither one nor the other can do this. It may seem that they are exaggerating, but they only literally reproduce the prerequisites for the collapse of many families.
Preparation for family life puts the task of forming the motivation for marriage, and expectations for it. The stereotypes offered to the younger generation, the leitmotif of which is limited to two words - "love" and "happiness", are superficial even in comparison with the real attitudes of young people.
A special section of the preparation of a family man is the education of love for children. In the works of V.V. Boyko shows that it is an indicator of the strategy of reproductive behavior and is determined by largely unconscious attitudes, which, if they disagree with the declared opinions, can lead to a discrepancy between the desired and actual number of children. Of particular importance is the upbringing of adequate motherhood attitudes in girls.
So, according to the works devoted to this issue, we can safely say that ideas about the family affect the family itself in the future. The formation of value and moral orientations towards one's future family takes place mainly on the basis of the image of the parental family, but is characterized by a more pronounced focus on one's own well-being and comfort. However, not all parents are prepared to teach their children. As a rule, the parental family does not set itself the purposeful task of educating their children's ideas, functional-role expectations and skills to create a full-fledged family. But it is precisely in adolescence that the moment of analysis of the received
social experience and the formation on its basis of their own images of the future family. Thus, in order to prevent psychological difficulties in family union, it is necessary to turn not to the identified problems, but to prevention, which will help to prevent them. For this, it is necessary to know the mechanisms of formation of family representations. Knowledge of the mechanisms and developed psychological programs for prevention can provide answers to many of the demands of society associated with dysfunctional families.
1.3 The concept of marriage and its main types
Marriage is a social mechanism designed to regulate and manage those numerous human relationships that follow from the physical fact of heterosexuality. As such an institution, marriage functions in two ways:
1. Regulation of personal sexual relations.
2. Regulation of the transmission and receipt of inheritance, succession and public order, which is its more ancient and original function.
The law does not contain a definition of the concept of marriage. An analysis of the norms of the RF IC regulating the conditions and procedure for entering into marriage, as well as its legal consequences, makes it possible to identify the main features of marriage, on the basis of which marriage can be defined as a voluntary and equal union between a man and a woman, concluded with the aim of creating a family, subject to the conditions and procedures established by law, and giving rise to mutual rights and obligations of spouses. [Fenenko Yu.V.]
The form of marriage is understood as the method of its conclusion established by law. The legal form of marriage in Russia is the conclusion of marriage through its state registration in the registry office.
The state registration of a marriage has a legal significance: from that moment on, the mutual rights and obligations of the spouses arise. State registration of marriage also has evidentiary value: on the basis of the marriage record made, the spouses are issued a marriage certificate and a corresponding mark is made in their passports, certifying the fact of the state of these persons in a legal marriage. [Reshetnikov F. M.].
However, there is also the so-called civil marriage. Sometimes it is called actual, colloquially referred to as cohabitation. Psychologists have their own term - the intermediate family, emphasizing that at any moment it can take some final form: it will fall apart or be documented. In such a family it is difficult to make long-term plans. A man and a woman, living under the same roof for years, remain "he" and "she", while the marital "we" has a completely different quality of feeling themselves and life in general [Kulikova T. A.].
Actual marriage refers to the relationship between the persons in them who meet all the requirements and conditions for marriage, but are not registered in the manner prescribed by law. An actual marriage cannot give rise to those legal consequences that arise from a registered marriage. No legislative prohibition can exclude from ordinary life extramarital affairs of a long nature, which the parties themselves, whether they want it or not, recognize an actual marriage. The laws of many European countries and the United States do not strictly distinguish between registered and actual marriage in terms of the consequences they generate. For example, in Scotland both civil and religious marriages are recognized as equivalent, and a marriage that arose as a result of actual cohabitation is also recognized as valid.
Unregistered couples are a fairly common phenomenon in the modern industrial and urbanized world. In the 1980s, about 3% of the US population were such couples, and about 30% of Americans had experience of cohabitation for at least 6 months. In Denmark and Sweden already in the mid-70s. approximately 30% of unmarried women aged 20 to 24 lived with men. Therefore, non-marital union in this age group is more common than formal marriage. In most other European countries during the same period, only 10-12% in this age group were cohabiting, but later on the number of unmarried people living together also increased. As noted by D. Craig in the Russian Federation, the situation is similar, in any case, the trend is the same.
R. Zider believes that unregistered cohabitation is only a preliminary stage to the subsequent marriage ("trial marriage") and that this is to some extent an alternative to traditional marriage. The fact is that relationships in unregistered cohabitation can be both formal, short-term, and deep, long-term. In the first case, life together in a "trial marriage" lasts a relatively short time, the marriage is either concluded or the relationship is interrupted. At the same time, the number of cases of cohabitation, which differs from marriage only in the absence of legal registration, is increasing, the birth of children in long-term relationships is often welcomed.
D. Craig and R. Zider analyzed the arguments "for" that are usually given by supporters of unregistered cohabitation and cited the most common ones:
this form of relationship is "training" of a certain type;
in cases of unregistered cohabitation, strength and compatibility are tested;
in such variants of cohabitation, relations are freer, there is no coercion;
undocumented cohabitation provides more spirituality and satisfaction in relationships, the so-called "unmarried family life";
It should be added that in addition to psychological, there are also socio-economic reasons that are peculiar for Russia, giving rise to the option of unregistered cohabitation: housing problems; registration issue; the possibility of receiving a child allowance for a single mother; as well as an earlier onset of puberty and, as a result, sexual activity; growth in the material well-being of young people and, as a result, a decrease in their dependence on their parents and the emergence of the opportunity to live separately from them; a long period of education and career growth to fully provide for the family.
Modern science describes the characteristics of people prone to unregistered cohabitation. Generalized psychological picture a representative of this population is characterized by more liberal attitudes, less religiosity, a high degree of androgyny, low school success during childhood and adolescence, less social success, however, as a rule, these people come from very successful families.
"Experimental" forms of life require a higher level of reflection and communication, and not least the strength to resist the pressure of social norms. For this reason, their distribution cannot but depend on social affiliation and level of education.
However, in addition to the positive aspects of "actual marriage", there are also negative ones. Thus, studies show that unmarried couples are less happy and prosperous than married ones. Annual rates of depression among cohabiting couples are more than 3 times higher than among married couples.
The most important characteristic feature of cohabiting couples, as noted by studies, as a rule, is a lower income. Cohabiting couples are more economically similar to single parents than married couples. In 1996, the poverty rate for children living with married parents was about 6%, while for children living with cohabiting parents, the figure was 32%. Marriage has been found to be an institution that increases wealth. According to the study, cohabitants with children have only about two thirds of the income of married couples with children, mainly due to the fact that the average income of male cohabitants is only about half that of married men. A selection effect is at work here, with less affluent men and their partners choosing cohabitation over marriage. It is also true that when men get married, especially those who intend to have children, tend to become more responsible and more productive. They earn more than their unmarried counterparts.
Also, according to studies, three-quarters of children born to cohabiting parents will see their parents divorce before they turn 16, while only about one-third of children living with married parents will experience this problem. Further, it was found that children living with mothers and their cohabitants have significantly more behavioral problems (deviant behavior) and lower academic performance than children from intact families.
It is shown that the experience of living together at the average statistical level does not affect the success of a subsequent marriage, i.e. you can "train" and "combine", but there is no guarantee for the future. Therefore, if you are looking for a form of "training" for marriage, then you should turn to the parental family. It is in the family where a person grew up that a person is prepared for marriage.
1.4 Marriage satisfaction phenomenon
The study of the phenomenon of satisfaction with marriage in domestic and foreign psychology has been carried out for about three decades as part of a general approach to studying the quality of marriage. During this time, many factors have been identified that confirm the versatility of this concept. But due to the fact that the institution of the family undergoes serious changes over time, the study of satisfaction with marriage will always be relevant.
In Russian psychology, one of the first to highlight the problem of the quality of marriage was V.A. Sysenko and S.I. Hunger. According to V.A. Sysenko, satisfaction with family life is a very broad concept and includes the degree of satisfaction of all the needs of the individual. For each of the spouses in marriage, some minimum necessary level of satisfaction of needs must be achieved, beyond which discomfort already arises, negative feelings and emotions are formed and consolidated.
IN research work Shavlova A.V. gives a definition of such a concept as "marriage satisfaction": "marital satisfaction with marriage is nothing more than the subjective perception by spouses through the prism of socio-cultural norms of the effectiveness of the functioning of the family in terms of satisfying their individual needs."
Often used synonyms for the term “marriage satisfaction” are “marriage success”, “marriage stability”, “family cohesion”, “spousal compatibility”, etc.
Marriage stability and marital satisfaction are rather related characteristics, which has been noted in a number of empirical studies. In addition, E.F. Achildieva proposes to consider these phenomena as different levels of relations between spouses. The first, most general, is the level of stability of marriage, that is, the legal safety of marriage (lack of divorce). The second level is the level of "adaptability in marriage", "adaptability of spouses"; here there is not only the absence of a divorce or a pre-divorce situation, but also a commonality married couple according to characteristics such as the division of domestic labor, the upbringing of children, and so on. The third level is the deepest. This is the level of "success" or "success" of marriage, which is characterized by the coincidence of the value orientations of the spouses.
Interesting in this regard are the works of T.A. Gurko. They highlight the following factors of instability of a young urban family: short duration of premarital acquaintance of future spouses, early age of marriage (up to 21 years), unsuccessful marriage of parents, premarital pregnancy, negative attitude towards a spouse, divergence of spouses in relation to such important problems of their future life as the importance of professional activity for women, the distribution of power in the family, the nature of spending free time, the distribution of family responsibilities and the idea of the desired number of children. Interestingly, as shown in the study, factors of economic well-being affect the success of marriage, depending on where in the hierarchy of values they occupy among the spouses, and depending on how similar their expectations are in this regard.
Data on the negative impact of early marriage age on marital satisfaction is confirmed by a number of studies conducted on various populations of respondents (Yurkevich).
A number of researchers (L.Ya. Gozman, Yu.E. Aleshina) believe that the term "marriage satisfaction" has a psychological meaning and cannot be replaced by the term "marriage stability", the psychological content of which is problematic; that the resilience of successful and dysfunctional families is different and determined by various factors.
Enough a large number of works is devoted to the study of personal and intra-marriage factors of satisfaction with marriage. Perhaps the most popular among them is the problem of the similarity-difference of spouses in terms of personal characteristics, as well as role and value orientations. The vast majority of the results clearly demonstrate the importance of the principle of similarity for the success of marriage in terms of global personality characteristics or, as most authors put it, by personality types. Such data were obtained in the work of A.I. Auchustinavichyute, who studied married couples on the basis of the Jungian typology, in a survey of married couples conducted by T.V. Galkina and D.V. Olshansky. Using the Eysenck test and a number of other methods, they showed that in happy families, opposite personal characteristics of spouses are smoothed out.
A large block of works is devoted to the problem of the connection between the similarity of attitudes, and especially the attitudes of spouses in the sphere of family roles, and satisfaction with marriage. A significant contribution to the development of this problem was made by I.N. Obozov and A.N. Obozova (Volkova). The data obtained on the basis of the methods developed and adapted by them indicate that the discrepancy between the opinions of the spouses regarding the functions of the family, the nature of the distribution and performance of the main family roles leads to the disorganization of the family, and subsequently to its disintegration. They also showed that not only does the real coincidence of spouses' opinions on these issues affect their compatibility, but also the perceived similarity of their own opinions with the opinion of another positively affects the success of the marriage. Similar results were obtained in a number of other works. So, in the study of V.V. Matina and N.F. Fedotova revealed that satisfaction with marriage is closely correlated with such indicators as:
1) the similarity of the role expectations of the husband and wife;
2) role matching of husband and wife;
3) the level of understanding of the role expectations of the other by each of the spouses.
A number of studies have demonstrated the influence of the characteristics of communication in the family on marital satisfaction. So, in the works of Novikova E.V., Sikorova V.I., Oshchepkova L.P. It is shown that successful communication in the family provides a good climate in it, contributes to the development of strong emotional ties within the family, and has a positive effect on the process of raising children. Communication disorders lead to serious conflicts in the relationship of spouses, contribute to the formation of such negative social phenomena as alcoholism and adolescent illegal behavior.
Marriage satisfaction is also closely related to how spouses behave in various life situations. So, for example, the study of L.S. Shilova demonstrates a close relationship between the nature of the spouses' leisure activities and marital satisfaction. Satisfied spouses spend much more time together during their holidays than unsatisfied ones. An important indicator of good intra-family relations is also the presence of mutual friends; dissatisfied spouses most often have their own circle of friends.
Other scholars have looked at marital satisfaction through the lens of needs. V.P. Levkovich and O.E. Zuskova note that satisfaction with marital relationships is determined by the satisfaction of a number of basic needs in marriage (communication, knowledge, protection of the self-concept, mutual understanding, etc.). These needs are not identical in spouses, but are in many ways contradictory. V.A. Sysenko notes that the emotional and psychological stability of marriage depends on the degree of satisfaction of needs for mutual understanding, psychological support, mutual assistance, respect for self-esteem, a sense of self-importance, significance. Marriage is stable if marital communication carries a positive charge. In the relationship of spouses, a situation may arise when one of them becomes an obstacle to meeting any needs of the other. Another more difficult side of contentment married life, according to V.A. Sysenko, is the dissatisfaction of a person with himself.
A number of authors to determine satisfaction with marriage use the principle of similarity, consent in interpersonal relations of spouses according to various parameters. So, G.I. Lucky calculated satisfaction with marital relationships based on the level of satisfaction with intimate life, the quality of fulfillment of family roles and responsibilities, and also on the basis of the degree of agreement on the main family problems. M. Argyle discovered three areas for measuring the degree of satisfaction with marriage: material (tangible) assistance, emotional support and community of interests.
Important and interesting is the fact mentioned by some researchers that marital satisfaction itself is primarily a phenomenon of interpersonal perception. Using the scheme for studying social perception, proposed by G.M. Andreeva, we can say that satisfaction with marriage is a characteristic of group members' perception of the effectiveness of their group's functioning.
T.V. Zaitseva, summarizing a number of works, identifies four groups of factors that affect the satisfaction of spouses with their relationships.
Social factors operating at the level of society: urbanization, migration, industrialization, emancipation of women, instability social systems, a decrease in the level of material and economic living conditions, a drop in the social prestige of the family, an aggravation of interethnic relations.
Socio-economic, demographic factors acting at the family level: education, social status, labor stability, own housing, material well-being, length of married life, presence of children, religiosity, comfortable living conditions, cohabitation or separation of parents.
Socio-psychological factors operating at the family level: the influence of spouses' perception of their parental families, commonality of views, values, interests of partners, role adequacy of spouses, coincidence of reproductive attitudes, harmony of sexual relations, adequate distribution of family responsibilities, coincidence of attitudes in raising children; relationships with parents and relatives, joint leisure activities, assessment of spouse's friends (gi), attitude towards marital fidelity, respect for the spouse's personality, psychological support, ability to take into account each other's interests.
Factors related to the personal characteristics of partners: social experience, upbringing, independence, tolerance, personal responsibility for the fate of the family, empathy, attentiveness, constructive communication skills, the level of ethnic self-awareness, social activity, moral maturity, preparedness for marriage, alcohol consumption.
Lewis and Gr. Spanier, having analyzed about three hundred works, created a similar model containing factors that affect the quality of marriage. They formulated 40 statements, which were divided into 14 subgroups, which, in turn, were combined into three main groups, which received the names:
1) "Premarital factors" affecting the quality of marriage;
2) "Social and economic factors" affecting the quality of marriage;
3) "Personal and intra-spousal factors" that affect the quality of marriage. It seemed important for our work that they singled out the subgroup "Peculiarities of the parent model". It included such characteristics that are positively associated with the quality of marriage, such as well-being in the parental family, assessment of one's own childhood as happy, a good relationship with parents.
However, R. A. Lewis and Gr. Spanier, who are currently the most authoritative experts in this field abroad, note that one of the most important tasks of the future is the creation of more advanced theoretical models of the quality of marriage. They associate the solution of this main problem with intensive work in the following areas:
A clearer definition of the concepts of marital satisfaction, spouse compatibility, marital success, etc.
Taking into account in research the fact that as this variable we have not a real indicator, but an indicator of the spouses' perception of their own marriage.
A more intensive survey of families where spouses are not satisfied with their marriage, but at the same time remain together.
Significant changes in social and socio-economic life, characteristic of our century, have led to the fact that the problems of the family, judging by the numerous works and speeches, have become extremely significant for sociologists, demographers, representatives of various spheres of public life and science. Manifestations of the so-called "family crisis" in all developed countries of the world have become noticeable in a wide variety of areas - a decrease in the birth rate, an increase in the number of divorces, an increase in child crime, an increase in the number of mental illnesses and much more. Naturally, the emancipation of women, an increase in the number of working women, an increase in the welfare and level of education of the population, caused serious changes in the field of family and marriage relations, which were mainly expressed in the fact that the main knot that holds the family together was not laws, customs or economic necessity, but the nature of the relationship of the spouses themselves, their satisfaction with each other and with their marriage. In other words: "... marriage and family life began to acquire a more personal character. The role of external factors in ensuring the stability of marriage has decreased and, accordingly, the importance of its "internal content" has increased.
All this means that an important means of stabilizing the family today is to improve the relationship of spouses, to increase their satisfaction with their own marriage.
Chapter 2. Findings from Empirical Research.
2.1 Characteristics of the research base
The total sample in the empirical study consisted of 30 married couples, aged 18-34, residents of Tomsk. Among them are representatives of various fields of activity from housewives, students to entrepreneurs. All couples have been married for one to three years. The sample was conditionally divided into three groups. The first group includes couples living in a "civil marriage", the second group - men and women who are officially married, and the third group, respectively, couples who are officially married and have children.
See table 1
Table 1 Study sample
| Pair number | Marriage form. Relations |
Name | Age | Family life experience | Main genus d-ty | ||||
| 1 | Civil | Anastasia | 21 | 2,8 | student | ||||
| Marriage | Nicholas | 28 | a bank employee | ||||||
| 2 | Civil | Ekaterina | 21 | 2,9 | student | ||||
| Marriage | Kirill | 23 | student, forwarder | ||||||
| 3 | Civil | Alyona | 21 | 2,5 | student | ||||
| Marriage | Ilya | 24 | design engineer | ||||||
| 4 | Civil | Darya | 24 | 1,5 | office manager | ||||
| Marriage | Dmitry | 26 | manager | ||||||
| 5 | Civil | Ekaterina | 21 | 1 | student, laboratory assistant | ||||
| Marriage | Sergei | 23 | driver | ||||||
| 6 | Civil | Maria | 21 | 3 | student | ||||
| Marriage | Alexander | 24 | civil engineer | ||||||
| 7 | Civil | Ekaterina | 25 | 1,5 | Nanny | ||||
| Marriage | Michael | 29 | designer | ||||||
| 8 | Civil | Lily | 22 | 2,2 | Secretary | ||||
| Marriage | Stanislav | 24 | bartender | ||||||
| 9 | Civil | Irina | 26 | 1 | Cashier | ||||
| Marriage | Dmitry | 27 | a bank employee | ||||||
| 10 | Civil | Olga | 23 | 1,2 | student | ||||
| Marriage | Alexey | 30 | builder | ||||||
| 11 | Official | Diana | 19 | 1,5 | student | ||||
| Marriage | Vladimir | 25 | defectoscopist | ||||||
| 12 | Official | Julia | 27 | 3 | designer | ||||
| Marriage | Egor | 28 | department head | ||||||
| 13 | Official | Hope | 22 | 1,8 | student | ||||
| Marriage | novel | 25 | state office worker | ||||||
| 14 | Official | Nina | 26 | 1,5 | municipality office worker | ||||
| Marriage | Alexey | 32 | furniture designer | ||||||
| 15 | Official | Olga | 27 | 2,6 | programmer | ||||
| Marriage | Dmitry | 29 | programmer | ||||||
| 16 | Official | Svetlana | 22 | 1 | student | ||||
| Marriage | Vyacheslav | 34 | entrepreneur | ||||||
| 17 | Official | Maria | 22 | 1,3 | student | ||||
| Marriage | Stepan | 27 | engineer | ||||||
| 18 | Official | Maria | 18 | 1 | student | ||||
| Marriage | Alexey | 25 | entrepreneur | ||||||
| 19 | Official | Mayan | 20 | 1,5 | student | ||||
| Marriage | Sergei | 29 | builder | ||||||
| 20 | Official | Elena | 22 | 1 | housewife | ||||
| Marriage, 1 child | Vladislav | 26 | geological engineer | ||||||
| 21 | Official | Svetlana | 27 | 1,6 | salesman | ||||
| Marriage, 2 children | Yuri | 28 | manager | ||||||
| 22 | Official | Valentine | 24 | 1 | housewife | ||||
| Marriage, 1 child | Igor | 26 | gas engineer | ||||||
| 23 | Official | Elena | 21 | 2,5 | housewife | ||||
| Marriage, 1 child | Alexander | 24 | bargain. representative | ||||||
| Pair number | Marriage form. Relations | Name | Age | Family life experience | Main genus d-ty |
| 24 | Official | Karina | 27 | 3 | choreographer |
| Marriage, 2 children | Maksim | 27 | hydrologist | ||
| 25 | Official | Kseniya | 23 | 2,4 | credit. Specialist |
| Marriage, 1 child | Basil | 26 | policeman | ||
| 26 | Official | Evgeniya | 22 | 1 | housewife |
| Marriage, 1 child | Basil | 26 | programmer | ||
| 27 | Official | Larisa | 24 | 2,5 | housewife |
| Marriage, 1 child | Peter | 26 | entrepreneur | ||
| 28 | Official | Anastasia | 22 | 1,9 | housewife |
| Marriage, 1 child | Michael | 23 | Geologist | ||
| 29 | Official | Elena | 24 | 3 | salesman |
| Marriage, 1 child | Sergei | 25 | a bank employee | ||
| 30 | Official | Evgeniya | 27 | 2,4 | housewife |
| Marriage, 1 child | Konstantin | 28 | Artist |
2.2 Characteristics of the procedure and research methods
To study the image of the parent and one's family, satisfaction with marriage, a block of diagnostic methods was used:
1. Methodology of the Family Environment Scale (FES), adapted by S.Yu. Kupriyanov (1985). It is based on the original FamilyEnvironmentScale methodology ( FES ), proposed by K.N. Moose (1974). The family environment scale is designed to assess the social climate in families of all types. The SSO focuses on measuring and describing: A) relationships between family members (indicators of relationships), B) areas of personal growth that are given special importance in the family (indicators of personal growth), C) the basic organizational structure of the family (indicators that control the family system) . The SSS includes ten scales, each of which is represented by nine items related to the characteristics of the family environment. With the help of this technique, the ideas of men and women about their image of their parents and their families were studied.
2. Method "Value Orientations" by M. Rokeach (1978). The technique is aimed at studying the value-motivational sphere of a person and is based on direct ranking of the list of values. M. Rokeach distinguishes two classes of values:
Terminal - beliefs that the ultimate goal of individual existence is worth striving for. The stimulus material is represented by a set of 18 values.
Instrumental - beliefs that some mode of action or personality trait is preferable in any situation. The stimulus material is also represented by a set of 18 values.
This division corresponds to the traditional division into values - goals and values - means. With the help of this technique, the ideas of men and women about the value-motivational sphere of their parents and their families were studied.
3. Test - the Marriage Satisfaction Questionnaire (MSA), developed by V.V. Stolin, T.L. Romanova, G.P. Butenko. The test is designed to diagnose the degree of satisfaction-dissatisfaction with the marriage of both spouses. The questionnaire is a one-dimensional scale consisting of 24 statements related to various areas: perceptions of oneself and a partner, opinions, assessments, attitudes, etc.
The results were processed using mathematical and statistical methods: comparative analysis according to the Mann-Whitney U-test, Spearman correlation analysis and analysis of variance. The study data were processed using the "STATISTICA" package.
The reliability of the results and conclusions of the study was ensured by the use of a set of psychodiagnostic methods validated and tested in Russian psychology, a meaningful analysis of the data obtained, identified on a fairly representative sample of subjects, and the use of adequate methods of mathematical statistics for data processing.
2.3 Presentation and analysis of research results
2.3.1 Research
Comparative analysis of indicators of methods "Scale of Family Environment" S.Yu. Kupriyanov and "Value Orientations" by M. Rokeach made it possible to identify the following significant differences between the first and second groups.
Thus, the first group is characterized by a significant predominance in the image of the parental family of such an indicator as an organization (P> 0.05). This means that in their parental family order and organization were more important in terms of structuring family activities, financial planning, clarity and certainty of family rules and responsibilities than for the second group. Also, in comparison with the second group, their image of the parental family is dominated by such values as love (spiritual and physical closeness with a loved one) (P> 0.04), cheerfulness (sense of humor) (P> 0.00), self-control (restraint , self-discipline) (P>0.02). And in the image of their family, men and women pay special attention to such values as responsibility (sense of duty, ability to keep one's word) (P>0.01). There is also continuity in relation to the indicator, such as "strong will" (P> 0.00), i.e. both in the parental family and in one's own family, importance is attached to the ability to insist on one's own, not to retreat in the face of difficulties.
Whereas the second group is characterized by a significant predominance in the image of the parental family of such values as diligence (discipline) (P>0.02), efficiency in business (diligence, productivity at work) (P>0.04). There is also continuity in relation to the indicator as "conflict" (P> 0.02), i.e. both in the parental family and in one's own family, importance is attached to the open expression of anger, aggression and conflict relationships. Continuing to consider the image of their family by the second group, we can say that they attach more importance to such a value as education (breadth of knowledge, high general culture) (P> 0.02) than the first group.
It is typical for the second group that such indicators as independence (P>0.00) and organization (P>0.00) prevail in their image of the parental family. The significance of such an indicator as organization means that order and organization were important for their parental family in terms of structuring family activities, financial planning, clarity and certainty of family rules and responsibilities. High scores on the indicator of independence indicate that in the parental family of the second group, independence is encouraged in thinking about problems and solutions. According to the results obtained using the method of M. Rokeach, in the image of the parental family for the second group, such a value as the beauty of nature and art (experiencing beauty in nature and art) (P> 0.00) is more significant than for the third group. And in the ideas about their family, the second group is characterized by the predominance of such indicators as an interesting job (P> 0.00), a productive life (the fullest possible use of their capabilities, strengths and abilities) (P> 0.01); creativity (possibility of creative activity) (Р>0.01). There is also continuity in relation to the indicators "strong will" (P>0.00), "active active life" (P>0.00), i.e. both in the parental family and in their own family, the second group attaches importance to the ability to insist on one's own, not to retreat in the face of difficulties; a sense of fullness and emotional richness of life.
A comparative analysis showed that the third group is characterized by a significant predominance in the image of the parental family of such values as self-confidence (internal harmony, freedom from internal contradictions, doubts) (P> 0.05) than for the second group. And in the image of their family, men and women of the third group pay special attention to such values as having good and true friends (P>0.00); public recognition (respect for others, team, workmates) (P>0.00); good breeding (good manners) (P>0.00). There is also continuity in relation to such indicators as: health (physical and mental) (P> 0.00), accuracy (cleanliness) (P> 0.00), tolerance (to the views and opinions of others, the ability to forgive others for their mistakes and misconceptions). ) (P>0.01), i.e. both in the family of origin and in their own family, the third group attaches importance to these values.
Let's move on to the results of the study regarding significant differences between the first and third groups of respondents.
Thus, the first group is characterized by a significant predominance in the image of their parental family of such indicators as "conflict" (P>0.03) and "independence" (P>0.00). The significance of such an indicator as conflict means that they more openly express anger, aggression and conflict relationships. High scores on the independence indicator indicate that the family encourages independence in thinking about problems and solutions. Using the method of M. Rokeach, significant differences were obtained, which indicate that in the image of the parental family for the first group, such values as independence (the ability to act independently, decisively) are more significant (P> 0.00); intolerance to shortcomings in oneself and others (P>0.01); honesty (truthfulness, sincerity) (P>0.04) than for the third group. Continuing to compare the first and third groups, we found that in the ideas about their family, the first, in turn, is characterized by the predominance of such indicators as an interesting job (P> 0.01), a productive life (the fullest possible use of one’s capabilities, strengths and abilities) (P>0.00); creativity (possibility of creative activity) (Р>0.00); high demands (high demands on life and high claims) (P>0.04). There is also continuity in relation to the indicator active active life (completeness and emotional richness of life) (P> 0.00), i.e. both in the parental family and in their own family, the first group attaches importance to the fullness and emotional richness of life.
Whereas the people of the third group in the image of their family are dominated by such values as: public vocation (respect for others, team, workmates) (P> 0.00); happiness of others (welfare, development and improvement of other people, the whole nation, humanity as a whole) (P> 0.04); good breeding (good manners) (P>0.00). There is also continuity in terms of indicators: health (physical and mental) (P>0.00), love (spiritual and physical intimacy with a loved one) (P>0.05), i.e. both in the family of origin and in their own family, the third group attaches importance to these values.
In general, summarizing the obtained results, we can draw the following conclusions. Comparing the sample, we obtained the following results, the first group is characterized by the predominance of such an indicator as "strong will", the ability to insist on one's own, not to retreat in the face of difficulties. Probably this result may be due to the fact that in our time, many still do not approve of this form of relationship, and in order to cope with this kind of attack, men and women who are actually married need to have a "strong will". However, for the respondents of the second group, "an active active life", a feeling of fullness and emotional richness of life is more significant; interesting job. This is probably due to the fact that they just got married, they do not yet have children, and they direct their forces to the realization of their abilities. So, for the respondents of the third group, in comparison with the first and second groups, health (physical and mental) is the most significant. We assume that this may be due to the appearance of a child in the family, which requires close attention to the health of both your own and your child. It seemed interesting to us that there is continuity in relation to these indicators between the parental and real families. This is a kind of broadcast, the transfer of the current family situation to your ideas.
2.3.2 The study of the peculiarities of the representation of the image of the family and values in the parental and own family of men and women with different forms of marriage
As a result of the correlation analysis, the influence of the form of marriage on the ideas of men and women about the image of the family and the value-motivational sphere was determined.
Let's move on to the analysis and interpretation of the results obtained using the "Family Environment Scale" method by S.Yu. Kupriyanov. So, regarding the first group of respondents, it was found that in the parental and family there is continuity in terms of indicators - expressiveness (r= 0.55) and moral aspects (r= 0.57), i.e. spouses, transferred from the parental family to their degree of openness in expressing their feelings in the family and respect for ethical and moral values and positions.
However, no continuity is observed in the second group. Next, we will try to analyze the reasons for this result.
Further, it was found that in the parental and family of the third group there is continuity in terms of indicators - expressiveness (open expression of one's feelings in the family) (r = 0.71), conflict (open expression of anger, aggression and conflict relationships) (r = 0, 50), achievement orientation (characterized by encouraging the nature of achievement and competition in various activities) (r= 0.76), intellectual and cultural orientation (activity of family members in the social, intellectual, cultural and political spheres of activity) (r= 0.53 ), orientation towards active recreation (active participation in various types recreation and sports) (r= 0.53), organization (order and organization in terms of structuring family activities, financial planning, clarity and certainty of family rules and responsibilities) (r= 0.50).
So, regarding the first group, it was found that in the parental and family there is continuity in terms of indicators - love (spiritual and physical closeness with a loved one) (r = 0.68); freedom (independence, independence in judgments and actions) (r= 0.45); happy family life (r= 0.45); creativity (possibility of creative activity) (r= 0.54); accuracy (cleanliness, ability to keep things in order, order in affairs) (r= 0.64); intolerance to shortcomings in oneself and others (r= 0.49); education (breadth of knowledge, high general culture) (r= 0.44); rationalism (the ability to think soundly and logically, make well-considered, rational decisions) (r= 0.46); breadth of views (the ability to understand someone else's point of view, to respect other tastes, customs, habits) (r= 0.50); honesty (truthfulness, sincerity) (r= 0.59); sensitivity (caring) (r= 0.78).
Considering the second group, it was also found that in the parental and family there is continuity in terms of indicators - an active active life (fullness and emotional richness of life) (r = 0.48); health (physical and mental) (r= 0.50); happy family life (r= 0.51); intolerance to shortcomings in oneself and others (r= 0.55); breadth of views (the ability to understand someone else's point of view, to respect other tastes, customs, habits) (r= 0.51).
Further, it was found that in the parental and family of the third group there is continuity in terms of indicators - life wisdom (maturity of judgments and common sense achieved by life experience) (r= 0.44), health (physical and mental) (r= 0.52 ), interesting work (r= 0.71), social vocation (respect for others, team, workmates) (r= 0.51), knowledge (opportunity to expand one’s education, horizons, general culture, intellectual development) (r= 0.45), development (work on oneself, constant physical and spiritual improvement) (r= 0.44), happiness of others (well-being, development and improvement of other people, the whole people, humanity as a whole) (r= 0.59), creativity (possibility of creative activity) (r= 0.82) and self-confidence (inner harmony, freedom from internal contradictions, doubts) (r= 0.55); accuracy (cleanliness, ability to keep things in order, order in affairs) (r= 0.60); upbringing (good manners); (r=0.75); cheerfulness (sense of humor) (r= 0.62); independence (ability to act independently, decisively) (r= 0.72); responsibility (sense of duty, ability to keep one's word) (r= 0.92); tolerance (to the views and opinions of others, the ability to forgive others for their mistakes and misconceptions) (r= 0.46); efficiency in business (industriousness, productivity at work) (r= 0.47); sensitivity (caring) (r= 0.80).
Thus, it turns out that spouses transfer their past experience, their perception of the past into the real family from the parental family to the real family. This percentage of transferred past experience is different in different types of families. So for men and women who are actually married, it is 28%, for spouses who are officially married, it is 10%, married couples with one or two children 50%. Consequently, for these people, and as a result of our study, these are men and women of the first and third experimental groups, it is also characteristic to build relationships in the image of the parental family. Let's try to analyze the obtained results. Unfortunately, due to the impossibility of conducting a longitudinal study, we can only speculate why this happens in this way. Probably, it is the new situation that entails such changes. So for the first group, the new situation is the actual marriage, i.e. they have no experience of family life, while in the second group this experience already prevails in almost everyone. For the third group, the appearance of a child appears as a new experience. Respondents faced with a new situation are more guided by the experience of the parental family, which in turn has already been tested, thereby receiving a kind of support. While for the respondents of the second group, formalization of relations is not problem situation, they no longer rely on the experience acquired in the parental family, but bring something of their own. We believe that the formation of representations can be based on two mechanisms - translation and compensation. Broadcasting is understood as the transfer of the current family situation to one's ideas, compensation is the introduction of the missing aspects of family life in order to build a more successful family.
Thus, it was found that men and women of the first group transfer the values "love" (r= 0.68) and "happy family life" (r= 0.45) from the parental family to the real one. In addition, such a value as a happy family life becomes significant for spouses if the parental family did not attach importance to interesting work (r = - 0.61).
Further, it was found that in the second group the value of "love" is affected by the following: if in the parental family it was important to have good and true friends (r = 0.51), then in their own family the spouses attached importance to love. The happy family life of the spouses, as in the first group, is transferred from the parental family to the real one. However, in her own family she is valuable when the parental family attached importance to love (r = 0.69); self-confidence (inner harmony, freedom from internal contradictions, doubts) (r= 0.49) and did not attach importance to the beauty of nature and art (experiencing beauty in nature and art) (r= - 0.47) and productive life ( r=-0.53).
And in the third group, the value of "love" is influenced by the following: if materially secure life was important in the parental family (lack of material difficulties) (r = 0.68), development (work on oneself, constant physical and spiritual improvement) (r = 0.87), freedom (independence, independence in judgments and actions) (r = 0.62) and did not attach importance to an active active life (completeness and emotional richness of life) (r = 0.-47), then in their family the spouses gave meaning to love. The happy family life of the spouses, as well as in the other two groups, is transferred from the parental family to their own. However, it is valuable when the parental family attached importance to health (physical and mental) (r= 0.65), productive life (the fullest possible use of one’s capabilities, strengths and abilities) (r= 0.63) and did not attach importance to the beauty of nature and art (experiencing beauty in nature and art) (r= 0.-53).
2.2.3 Study of ideas about the image of their family of men and women with different forms of marriage
In order to determine the level of significance of certain values for each spouse, as well as to determine the degree of agreement / inconsistency in the image of their family between spouses, depending on the type of family relationship, we used analysis of variance. Which, in turn, determined the influence of factors of gender and the form of marriage on ideas about the image of one's family. So, let's turn to the results obtained using the "Family Environment Scale" method by S.Yu. Kupriyanov.
Considering the features of family images in the first group, the average value was calculated and it was found that for the "strong half" greater significance is manifested in the care of family members for each other, helping each other, the severity of a sense of belonging to the family (6.6 vs. 5.5) , as well as in the activity of the social, intellectual, cultural and political spheres of activity (5.5 vs. 3.7). For other indicators, there is a similarity in the representations of men and women.
It seemed interesting that in the second and third groups, according to the indicators of the "Scale of Family Environment" methodology, there is a consistent image of one's family between spouses.
Considering the features of family images in the first group, the average value was calculated and it was found that such terminal values are more important for women: love (spiritual and physical closeness with a loved one) (5.0 versus 3.1); entertainment (pleasant, easy pastime, lack of responsibilities) (11.9 vs. 9.0); happy family life (4.4 versus 2.7) than for men. For men, the following values are more significant: life wisdom (maturity of judgments and common sense, achieved by life experience) (12.8 vs. 9.6); freedom (independence, independence in judgments and actions) (14.2 versus 11.7). In other values, there is a similarity in the representations of men and women.
Let's move on to the results for the second group. So it was found that women attach importance to such values as love (spiritual and physical intimacy with a loved one) (3.7 vs. 1.6); financially secure life (lack of material difficulties) (9.2 versus 4.1); knowledge (opportunity to expand one's education, outlook, general culture, intellectual development) (13.9 versus 10.4); happy family life (5.5 versus 2.5); self-confidence (internal harmony, freedom from internal contradictions, doubts) (13.1 versus 8.9) than men. Whereas for men the following values are more significant: active active life (fullness and emotional richness of life) (7.2 versus 5.2); interesting work (7.3 vs. 4.7); beauty of nature and art (experience of beauty in nature and art); (16.9 versus 13.2) having good and true friends (10.0 versus 8.0); development (work on oneself, constant physical and spiritual improvement) (12.8 vs. 10.5); happiness of others (welfare, development and improvement of other people, the whole nation, humanity as a whole) (16.4 versus 11.4).
Considering the features of family images in the third group, the average value was calculated and it was found that for the "strong half" the following values are of great importance: materially secure life (lack of material difficulties) (6.0 vs. 3.7); development (work on oneself, constant physical and spiritual improvement) (14.0 vs. 12.1); freedom (independence, independence in judgments and actions) (12.4 versus 9.6) than for women. And in turn, the "weak half" attaches importance to the happiness of others (well-being, development and improvement of other people, the whole people, humanity as a whole) (15.9 versus 13.6).
Let's move on to the next stage of the study; Let us turn to the results characteristic of the first group. Thus, for women, such instrumental values are more significant as: breadth of views (the ability to understand someone else's point of view, respect other tastes, customs, habits) (13.0 versus 9.8); sensitivity (caring) (9.4 versus 5.0). Whereas for men the following values are more important: good breeding (good manners) (9.9 versus 6.5); rationalism (the ability to think sensibly and logically, make well-considered, rational decisions) (10.1 versus 6.3).
For women of the second group, the following instrumental values are more significant: good breeding (good manners) (9.8 versus 7.7); education (breadth of knowledge, high general culture) (11.2 versus 9.1); rationalism (the ability to think sensibly and logically, make well-considered, rational decisions) (9.7 vs. 6.8); honesty (truthfulness, sincerity) (7.8 versus 4.8). Whereas for men the following values are more important: independence (the ability to act independently, decisively) (13.0 versus 7.3); intolerance towards shortcomings in oneself and others (17.4 versus 11.3); self-control (restraint, self-discipline) (11.6 versus 8.8).
Considering the features of family images in the third group, the average value was calculated and it was found that for the "strong half" the following values are of great importance: self-control (restraint, self-discipline) (12.5 vs. 8.3); tolerance (to the views and opinions of others, the ability to forgive others for their mistakes and delusions) (8.7 vs. 6.4). And, in turn, the "weak half" attaches importance to cheerfulness (sense of humor) (6.6 versus 3.7); breadth of views (the ability to understand someone else's point of view, to respect other tastes, customs, habits) (12.8 versus 9.3).
2.2.4 Marriage satisfaction study for couples
It is impossible to consider marital relations in dynamics without taking into account the changes that occur with the qualitative characteristics of these relations. For this purpose, as well as to test one of our hypotheses, we analyzed changes in marital satisfaction in couples with different family life experiences.
Thus, the next step in processing the results in our study was to compare the level of satisfaction with marriage in married couples. Marriage satisfaction for each of the 60 respondents we interviewed was obtained on the basis of a special test designed to measure this characteristic. In each of the three surveyed groups of spouses, the average value of satisfaction with marriage was calculated separately for men and women.
Thus, it was found that in married couples of the first and second groups, satisfaction with marriage is higher than that of the third group. Namely, satisfaction with marriage among women of the first group was 39.8, and among men - 40.5. In the second group, respectively, women's satisfaction with their marriage is 40.8, and men's - 40.4. While women of the third group are satisfied with marriage only by 37.2, and men by 37.6. Thus, according to the questionnaire, the following is obtained: men and women of the first and second groups are absolutely satisfied with their marriage, while spouses of the third group are only significantly satisfied with their marriage. The data obtained give sufficient grounds to assert that changes in marital satisfaction do exist. Namely, at the birth of a child, satisfaction with marriage falls somewhat. This fact has also been noted in some studies. Let's try to analyze the reasons for the decrease in satisfaction among the third group. The appearance of a child in the family dramatically changes the way of life. So among the many factors that impede this process, we can name: mental or somatic ill health of parents; motivational, cognitive, behavioral unpreparedness of the mother to fulfill the parental role; violations of intra-family communication; the priority of others, such as careerist, sexual, values over parental ones; reduction of free time spent together with spouses.
In order to better understand the reasons for the ongoing changes in relationships, we conducted a correlation analysis that allows us to establish the structure of the relationship between the value-semantic sphere and satisfaction with marriage by spouses with different family life experience.
So, we found that the following indicators influence the satisfaction with marriage among people of the first group. Family members are satisfied with marriage when they attach importance to order and organization in terms of structuring family activities, financial planning, clarity and certainty of family rules and responsibilities (r=0.57); they have high demands and claims to life (r=0.53); they are disciplined (r=0.47) and irreconcilable to shortcomings in themselves and others (r=0.52). The inverse nature of the relationship indicates that if respondents value such values as responsibility (r= - 0.55), honesty (truthfulness, sincerity) (r= - 0.74), having good and true friends (r= - 0 46), then they are less satisfied in marriage.
Further, it was found that if the respondents of the second group are satisfied with marriage, then they attach importance to moral aspects (r=0.58), creativity (opportunities for creative activity) (r=0.44) and rationalism (r=0.63 ). The inverse nature of the relationship indicates that if respondents value such values as an interesting job (r= - 0.49), good breeding (good manners) (r= - 0.52), tolerance (to the views and opinions of others, the ability to forgive others their mistakes and misconceptions) (r= - 0.45), breadth of views (r= - 0.49), then they are less satisfied in marriage.
Considering the third group, we can draw the following conclusion: if respondents attach importance to such a value as efficiency in business (r = -0.44), then they are less satisfied in marriage. However, other results in the study of satisfaction with marriage were provided by T.V. Andreeva and Shmotchenko Yu.A. They found that satisfaction was higher the more significant the value of performance in business was. However, this can be explained by the sampling difference. So, T.V. Andreeva and Shmotchenko Yu.A. studied men, and in our work we diagnosed married couples.
Chapter 2 Conclusions
From the empirical study, the following conclusions can be drawn:
The image of the parental family and the image of the real family are largely characterized by the same family structure. So from the parental family to the real family, the spouses transfer their past experience, their perception of the past to the real family. This percentage of transferred past experience is different in different types of families. So for men and women who are actually married, it is 28%, for spouses who are officially married, it is 10%, married couples with one or two children 50%. Consequently, for these people, and as a result of our study, these are men and women of the first and third experimental groups, it is also characteristic to build relationships in the image of the parental family.
There is a translation, a transfer of the current family situation from the parental family to their own image of a real family, by spouses with different experience of family life. So for men and women who are actually married, this actual indicator is "strong will", the ability to insist on one's own, not to retreat in the face of difficulties. For spouses who are officially married - "an active active life", a feeling of fullness and emotional richness of life; interesting job. But couples with one or two children attach great importance to "health" (physical and mental).
Spouses have both a similar and a different image of their family, relative to some indicators. Thus, the agreement on certain indicators among men and women who are in actual marriage is 76%; Married couples with one or two children left not far from them - 65%, but for spouses who are officially married, it is 50%. A similar actual "image of the family" is a necessary condition for harmonious interaction in a couple.
The data obtained give sufficient grounds to assert that changes in marital satisfaction depending on the experience of family life do exist. So spouses who are in actual and official marriage are absolutely satisfied with their relationship. Whereas married couples with one or two children are already less satisfied with their marriage. Thus, it turns out that it is at the birth of a child that satisfaction with marriage decreases somewhat. It was also found that satisfaction with marriage in families with different experiences of family life is influenced by various indicators.
A generalized analysis of the results of our entire study led to the conclusion that the "image of the family" influences the parental position and behavior in the family already in the future of an adult.
List of used literature
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The emergence of Christianity meant a break with the pagan tradition of opposing the sexes and, accordingly, views on the family - the subordination of a woman, as a being of a lower nature, to a man. The ancients, glorifying goddesses, despised earthly women. The Christian religion placed an ordinary woman (not a "goddess"), Mary, on an unattainable height. According to church dogma and tradition, Mary was chosen as the Mother of God because she was the best of all people. Moreover, Mary is the highest of all God's creatures, including angels, she, as it is sung in the Orthodox akathist (praise song) of the Mother of God, is "the most honest Cherubim and the most glorious Seraphim without comparison."
The high appreciation of women in Christianity is part of a new look at the meaning of the division of the sexes, which is no longer limited to the need for procreation and housekeeping, and therefore, the view on the role of women in building a family has changed dramatically. According to Christian dogmatics, a man and a woman jointly express the Image of God in man, as it is written in the Bible, "and God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them" (Genesis 1:27). Some Christian Fathers of the Church (i.e. the theologians of the first centuries of our era, who made a significant contribution to the formation of Christian dogma) accepted Plato's idea of the androgyny of man.
The notion of the duality of the Image of God in man has led to a high appreciation of marriage. The goal of a Christian marriage, unlike a pagan one, is not only the birth of children and the maintenance of a joint household, but also the restoration of the original integrity of a person. Christianity also speaks of another marriage - a mystical one - where the restoration of the unity of mankind with God is carried out, symbolically expressed in the images of Christ - the groom and the Church - the bride. The relationship of Christ to the Church was like that of a husband and wife. In contrast, the ordinary family is a house church, where the husband embodies the priest and the wife embodies the congregation. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her... So husbands should love their wives as their bodies: he who loves his wife loves himself," called the Apostle Paul (Ephesians 5:25, 28) . Since marriage is a sacrament, and not just a legal institution, it cannot be dissolved: "whoever divorces his wife, except for the guilt of fornication, gives her an occasion to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery" (Mat. 5: 32) .
There is a popular notion that early Christianity denied marriage and love and encouraged people to abandon family life. However, if such sentiments existed, they had no basis in Christian doctrine. Although a Christian marriage must be "chaste," this does not mean that husband and wife should not lead normal married lives. "Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a while, for exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance," the Apostle Paul warned (1 Cor. 7: 5). St. John Chrysostom (c. 350-407), explaining the Christian attitude towards marriage, indicates that the first miracle of Christ was the transformation of water into wine at a wedding in Cana of Galilee and that the prophet Isaiah, the Apostle Peter, Moses were married.
The opponents of marriage were not Christians, but representatives of religious and mystical teachings, united under the name of Gnosticism (from the Greek "gnosis" - knowledge). Gnosticism arose even before the beginning of our era (that is, before the birth of Christ), but subsequently absorbed elements of Christian doctrine.
The most rigid of the Gnostic doctrines is the system of the Persian "prophet" Mani (c. 216 - c. 273) - Manichaeism. Mani singled out two original principles: Light and Darkness, spirit and matter. As a result of the battle between them, Darkness absorbs some elements of Light. The forces of Darkness create Adam and Eve and pour into them all the light at their disposal. The task of the Light is to collect and return these elements. Unlike the "Apocrypha of John", Mani considered Eve not as the incarnation of the Holy Spirit, but as an instrument of the forces of Darkness, created with the aim of provoking Adam to reproduce. With the birth of each new person, Mani taught, another particle (soul) separates from the light and moves into the newly created dungeon (body). The primordial light is thus dispersed and it becomes increasingly difficult to gather it together. In other words, he was against the extension of the clan, therefore against the formation of families.
Therefore, Manichaean ethics forbade family life and childbearing. The Manicheans believed that “one should abstain from all animate objects and eat only vegetables and everything that is not sentient, and abstain from marriage, the pleasures of love and the birth of children, so that the divine power could not remain for a number of generations longer in Hyle [matter ]". The Gnostics thus considered physical love to be the main obstacle to man's salvation. " spiritual man knows himself as immortal, and love as the cause of death," says the Gnostic collection of treatises Corpus Hermeticum.
There are such concepts as marriage and family. How are they related to each other and how do they differ? In the "Small Soviet Encyclopedia" it is said about marriage as follows:
According to the Big Medical Encyclopedia, the following is said about marriage:
"Marriage is a union of a man and a woman, creating for them certain rights and obligations (on raising children, on owning property, etc.) and receiving public and state sanction."
How differently the Christian religion interprets the concept of marriage. According to Her concept, the establishment of marriage refers to the original creation of man. Seeing that it was not good for a man to be alone, God created for him a helper corresponding to him. Marriage is a sacrament in which, with a free promise before the priest and the Church of mutual fidelity by the bride and groom, their marital union is blessed in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church and the grace of pure unanimity is asked for the blessed birth and Christian upbringing of children.
Here is what St. app. Paul in Ephesians about marriage.
“Therefore, imitate God, as beloved children, and live in love, just as Christ also loved us and gave Himself for us as an offering and sacrifice to God, for a sweet savor. And fornication and all impurity and covetousness should not even be named among you, as befits saints. Also, foul language and idle talk and laughter are not appropriate for you, but, on the contrary, thanksgiving; for know that no fornicator, or unclean, or covetous person, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for for this the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience; so do not be their accomplices. You were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord: walk as children of light, for the fruit of the Spirit consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth. Try what is pleasing to God, and do not share in the fruitless works of darkness, but also reprove.
For what they do in secret is shameful even to speak of. All that is revealed is made manifest by the light, for whatever is made manifest is light. This is why it is said: "Rise, sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."
So, be careful, act carefully, not as fools, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but know what the will of God is. And do not get drunk with wine, from which there is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, building up yourselves with psalms and hymns and spiritual hymns, singing and singing in your hearts to the Lord, always giving thanks to God and the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, obeying one another in the fear of God.
Wives, obey your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the Church, and He is the Savior of the body. But just as the Church obeys Christ, so do wives obey their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself up for her to sanctify her, having cleansed her with a bath of water through the word; to present her to Himself as a glorious Church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or anything like that, but that she might be holy and blameless. Thus ought husbands to love their wives as their bodies: he who loves his wife loves himself.
For no one has ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and warms it, just as the Lord does the Church, because we are members of His body, from His flesh and from His bones. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh. This mystery is great; I speak in relation to Christ and to the Church. So let each of you love his wife as himself; but let the wife be afraid of her husband.”
The term "family" means the following concept:
FAMILY is a society or group consisting of parents and children. In the family, the reproduction of the person himself takes place - the continuation of the human race. At the same time, human reproduction should be understood not only as childbearing itself, but also as the whole process of rearing and educating new generations.
From the above, it becomes clear to us that if a man and a woman want to live together, have sexual relations, have and raise children, own property, then they must enter into a marriage, which is registered by the relevant state bodies and further protected by the state.
Any state is ultimately based on the family, which "supplies" or "reproduces" the people that form this state. If families do not do this, people will not marry, then with the death of people from old age, the state will also cease to exist. It is for this reason that any state is interested in its constant reproduction, and therefore in right relationship between a man and a woman within a family. For this reason, there were relevant laws regulating marriage and family life.
Married man and woman already form a family. Such a family is called a small family. Only when children appear, this family is considered “normal”, because the potential opportunity for a man and a woman to have children, to continue the race has been realized. A family in which there are many children (the concept of "many children" is relative, as Russians currently have more than three children is considered "many children", although in pre-revolutionary Russia the concept of "many children" meant 6-10 or more children) is called "many".
A man and a woman can live together without marriage and even have children. In other words, live a full-blooded family life. However, if in such a family there are disagreements between a man and a woman, then they are not regulated by the Code of Laws on Marriage, Family and Guardianship. In this case, the rights of one of the parties may be infringed and there will be no support from the state.
From the above, it becomes clear that the state, by introducing the "institution of marriage and the family", wants to control and regulate, first of all, sexual relations between a man and a woman, direct them in the direction necessary for state purposes, and in the future take care of the family. Naturally, “curbing” and “regulating” intimate relationships is an incredibly difficult thing, and along with official marriage, there is an intimate life outside of marriage. This just indicates that the laws created by the human mind “encroached” on something that is not subject to artificial restrictions, but has its own life, requests, etc.
To understand the phenomenon of marriage and family, it is advisable to look into history and look around.
According to historians, at an early stage in the existence of human society, marriage and the family were absent: men and women did not live in permanent couples; more or less long marriages were the exception. A form of more stable relationships was group marriage and the common management of the family economy. These relations later went through two stages in their development: a consanguineous family, where marriage relations were limited to representatives of one generation and sexual intercourse between different generations (parents and children, grandfathers and grandchildren) was not allowed; and Punalua marriage, in which several men had several women in common. At the same time, a couple marriage was born. In other words, men and women entered into marital relations randomly, depending on mutual desire. But among them were such couples who preferred to live only together.
Some historians argue that group marriage was supplanted by pair marriage due to the accumulation of material wealth. The owner of material wealth wanted to be sure that the inheritance goes to his children. Naturally, in a group marriage, this was impossible to establish. Thus, it is believed that the material part (inheritance, running a common household) has prevailed over the initial desire of people for intimacy.
In general, if you "look back", then polygamy flourishes in the Arab world. One man has several wives who "make" him heirs and thus replenish the population of the Arab world; some European countries allow same-sex marriages; there are places on the globe where there are very few women, here one woman has several husbands. Thus, marriage and the family is nothing but a way of life for men and women. Depending on the conditions, this way of life is very different.
Having found out what marriage and family are, let's move on. We will not be scattered on finding out which marriage is better - Arab or European, what the state should do for the family, etc., but let's focus on what we have - on pair marriage (men and women) and consider how it educate, self-strengthen and make healthy.
If we delve a little into the problem of marriage and the family, then the stages of the formation of marriage and the family, which have their own characteristics, are striking. If you know these features and do not let them drift, then family life will be much better in every way. Therefore, the book will be built on the consideration of these stages of family life. And there is nothing surprising in this - any phenomenon has its beginning, formation and completion. The same is true in family life.
We break family life into the following stages:
- Before wedding.
- The first small family (from marriage to the birth of the first child).
- Family (from the birth of the first child to the departure of children from the family).
- The second small family (from the departure of children from the family to the death of one of the spouses).
- After family.
The article was prepared based on the materials of the book by G.P. Malakhov
S. V. Kovalev emphasizes the importance of forming adequate marriage and family ideas for boys and girls. At present, young people's ideas about marriage have a number of negative features: for example, at the age of 13-15 there is a progressive separation and opposition of the concepts of love and marriage. Among students (according to the questionnaire survey “Your Ideal”), the importance of love when choosing a life partner was in fourth place after the qualities “respect”, “trust”, “mutual understanding”. There is a clear “pushing back” of love in marriage against the background of its previous omnipotence. That is, young men and women can perceive the family as a hindrance to their feelings, and only later, painfully through trial and error, come to comprehend
niyu moral and psychological value of marriage. The task is to form an understanding of the value of the family among high school students and try to create a correct understanding of the relationship between love and marriage and the role of love as the basis of a long-term union.
The next thing that characterizes the marriage and family ideas of young people is their obvious consumer unrealism. So, according to V. I. Zatsepin, in the study of students, it turned out that the average desired spouse in its positive qualities surpassed the “average” real young man from the immediate environment of female students, similarly to male students, the ideal spouse was presented in the form of a woman who was not only better than real girls, but also surpassed them in intelligence, honesty, fun and hard work.
It is typical for young people discrepancy between the qualities of the desired life partner and the intended partner in everyday communication, from the circle; which this satellite, in general, should be selected. Polls of sociologists have shown that personality traits that are considered significant for an ideal spouse are not of decisive importance in real communication between boys and girls.
Our study (in 1998-2001) of the premarital preferences of university students showed a similar picture in many respects.
The open form of the survey (the wording was proposed by the respondents themselves) revealed that in the image of the preferred partner in | communication, students should have such qualities as (in descending order): external data, positive character traits (different for each of the respondents - kindness, loyalty, modesty, decency, good breeding, diligence, etc.), mind, communicative data, sense of humour, gaiety, femininity, sexuality, patient attitude towards the respondent himself, general development (spiritual, outlook, professionalism), diligence, balance, calmness, health, material security.
The image of the future spouse includes: moral qualities (as a total index of various character traits: honesty, ability to keep one’s word, decency, fidelity, kindness, etc.), mind, appearance, cultural development, attitude towards the interviewee himself (loving, patient , yielding), temperament properties (equal answers - poise and impulsiveness), sense of humor, generosity, hospitality, communicative qualities, femininity. Some students found it difficult to name the qualities of the future wife.
Table 2. Characteristics of the image of a girl with whom I would like to communicate, and qualities that students of the University would like to see in their future spouse (Faculty of Philosophy)
| № | Preferred Friend Image | % responses | The image of the future wife | % responses |
| External Data | 71,2 | Moral qualities (total index of various traits of good character) | 75,0 | |
| Moral qualities (total expression of heterogeneous qualities of good character) | 68,3 | Mind | 67,1 | |
| Mind | 65,4 | Appearance | 56,7 | |
| Communication data | 34,6 | Cultural development (spiritual development, education, outlook, professionalism, etc.) | 53,4 | |
| Sense of humor, fun | 32,7 | Relation to the answerer | 33,3 | |
| Femininity | 28,4 | Equilibrium | 16,7 | |
| Sexuality | 26,5 | Impulsiveness | 16,7 | |
| Patience towards the respondent | 25,1 | Sense of humor, fun | 15,1 | |
| General development (spiritual, outlook, professionalism) | 24,3 | hospitality, generosity | 13,3 | |
| industriousness | 16,7 | Communication qualities | 8,2, | |
| Balance, calmness | 15,6 | Femininity | 7,5 | |
| Health | 4,6 | Financial security, career | 7,5 | |
| Financial security | 3,8 | Health | 3,8 |
Thus, some discrepancy between the images of the partner with whom I would like to communicate and the future wife was revealed. The qualities of the latter turned out to be less certain for young men, which is probably due to the general uncertainty of their family future (some young men do not think about marriage).
Table 3. Premarital preferences of female university students
| № | Image of preferred communication partner | % responses | № | The image of the desired spouse | % responses |
| Appearance and body features | 100,0 | Attitude towards the respondent | 100,0 | ||
| Sense of humor | 78,7 | maturity, responsibility | 83,2 | ||
| Mind | 60,1 | Mind | 60,1 | ||
| Moral qualities (according to the sum of various properties - honesty, decency, etc.) | 49,4 | Financial security | 53,4 | ||
| Sensitivity, kindness. | 47,1 | Kindness | 48,3 | ||
| Communication qualities | 43,7 | Appearance | 36,3 | ||
| Attitude towards the respondent | 41,6 | Sense of humor | 34,3 | ||
| Volitional qualities | 36,5 | 8-9. | industriousness | 30,8 | |
| Education | 34,2 | 8-9 | Patience | 30,8 | |
| 10-11 | Brightness, eccentricity | 25,7 | Self-confidence | 25,1 | |
| 10-11 | upbringing | 25,7 | "Defender" | 23,4 | |
| Financial security | 23,4 | Erudition | 20,5 | ||
| Self-confidence | 21,3 | 13V | Volitional qualities | 18,7 | |
| hard work, hard work | 10,3 | Sociability | 16,4 | ||
| Sexuality | 9,4 | Sexuality | 8,3 | ||
| Independence | 7,4 | upbringing | 7,3 |
An analysis of the premarital ideas of female students (of the Faculty of Philosophy and Economics) showed a greater mismatch than that of male students between the qualities of a preferred communication partner and the characteristics of a future (desired) spouse. So, if for the attractiveness of a partner his appearance or especially
physique (athleticism, sports uniforms etc.), as well as a sense of humor and intelligence, then among the qualities that are preferable for family life, the most important are the attitude towards the interviewee herself (loving, fulfilling my desires, etc. - the wording is varied), maturity, responsibility and intelligence . Appearance and sense of humor are losing their leading positions, and communicative qualities are moving from the middle ranks to the last ones. But half of the girls surveyed expect from their future chosen one the ability to provide for their families, and one fourth - protection.
If we consider the premarital preferences of young people not in an average form, but to make a qualitative analysis of the data - an individual comparison of the preferences of a partner and a future husband, then we can see that students (and female students) differ greatly in the degree of correspondence between the images of a friend and a husband. For some respondents, there is a fairly large coincidence of the qualities that make a young man attractive to communicate with him, and the desired properties of the future spouse. In this case, it can be predicted that there is an awareness of personality traits that are important for long-term communication, and it is on them that these respondents are guided in choosing friends (according to S.V. Kovalev, on “significant universal human values”). There were 40% of such boys and girls in our sample. Some students have some discrepancy between the qualities of the desired partner and life partner. Unfortunately, almost half (45%) of students have an almost complete discrepancy in the image of a friend (girlfriend) and future husband (wife).
There is also another dangerous trend - the excessive requirements for a partner and spouse: this applies mainly to girls. A part of the students revealed an almost complete list of requirements for young people from all theoretically possible ones - it reaches 20 qualities. Here are the mind, beauty, sensitivity, leadership qualities ("stronger than me"), security, help around the house, honesty, education, sociability, sense of humor. If at the same time the requirements are rigid, the likelihood of building successful relationships is reduced to a minimum.
V. I. Zatsepin also notes pygmalionism in the interpersonal perception of boys and girls. A direct relationship has been revealed between the nature of self-esteem and the level of evaluation of the desired spouse in many qualities. It turned out that those who highly appreciated the degree of development in themselves of such qualities as honesty, beauty, cheerfulness, etc., would like to see these qualities in their future spouse. Works
Estonian sociologists have shown that such pygmalionism is also very characteristic of the idealized ideas of young people: for boys and girls, the ideal spouse is usually similar to one's own character (but with an increase in its positive components). In general, in these sets, cordiality, sociability, frankness and intelligence are most valued (girls still appreciate strength and determination, and young men - the modesty of their chosen ones).
At the same time, it turned out that young people starting a life together do not know each other's characters well - the assessments assigned to a life partner differed very significantly from his (her) self-esteem. Those entering into marriage endowed the chosen one with qualities similar to their own, but with their well-known exaggeration towards greater masculinity or femininity (Kovalev S.V., 1989).
So, the development of marriage and family ideas of boys and girls includes the formation of their correct views on the relationship between love and marriage, overcoming consumer tendencies in relation to the family and life partner, fostering realism and integrity in the perception of themselves and others.
A very important area of sex education is the formation of standards of masculinity and femininity. It is in adolescence that schoolchildren complete the formation of the role positions of men and women. Girls have a sharp increase in interest in their appearance and there is a kind of reassessment of its significance, associated with a general increase in self-esteem, an increase in the need to please and a heightened assessment of their own and other people's successes with the opposite sex. For boys, strength and masculinity are at the forefront, which is accompanied by endless behavioral experiments aimed at finding themselves and forming their own image of adulthood. The formation of sexual consciousness, standards of masculinity and femininity begins from the first days of a child's life. However, it is most intensively carried out in adolescence and adolescence when what was learned at the previous stages begins to be tested and refined in the course of intensive communication with people of the opposite sex.
T. I. Yufereva’s studies show that practically the only sphere of life activity in which adolescents’ ideas about the images of masculinity and femininity are formed is relationships with the opposite sex. It turned out that these ideas at each age reflect special aspects of communication: in the 7th grade - family and domestic relations, in the 8th and, especially, in the 9th - closer emotional and personal relationships.
between boys and girls, and the former relations do not deepen with age, but are simply replaced by others.
Adolescents' ideas about the ideal qualities of men and women for gender relationships are mainly associated with the concept of partnership without regard to gender. Therefore, ideal representations and real behavior do not coincide, since the ideal does not perform a regulatory function. It is also sad that the concept of femininity of a young man was associated exclusively with motherhood, and in the disclosure of the concept of masculinity they forget about such a quality as responsibility (Yufereva T. I., 1985, 1987).
S. V. Kovalev argues that sex education should not smooth out, but, on the contrary, in every possible way support the sexual differences between men and women. These differences appear already in the first days after birth, becoming more and more vivid and distinct as the child grows up. The activity of the stronger sex has a peculiar object-instrumental character, while the weaker sex is emotionally expressive in nature, which is sufficiently manifested in the field of sexual behavior and inclinations.
It is difficult to overestimate the role of sex education in the formation qualities of a family man. Here a huge role is played by the premarital experience of youth, in which it is especially important to know as many real families as possible, their relationships and ways of life. At present, acquaintance at home, which is extremely necessary for boys and girls, is not accepted for two reasons: firstly, habitually meeting outside the family circle in places of leisure, boys and girls do not have the opportunity to make a full impression of each other, since it is impossible without knowledge about how their chosen one is among relatives and friends. Secondly, only with such a “home” acquaintance can young people make a fairly accurate impression not only of the peculiarities of the family microclimate and way of life, but also of their acceptability from the point of view of the ideas accepted in their own home about the rights and obligations of family members, about how one can and should act in a family community. Based on this, young people could make a more accurate decision about the possibility of a future life together.
V. A. Sysenko (1985, p. 25) formulates the main areas of activity in preparing for family life:
1) moral (awareness of the value of marriage, children, etc.);
2) psychological (the amount of psychological knowledge required
in married life)
3) pedagogical (skills and abilities for raising children);
4) sanitary and hygienic (hygiene of marriage and everyday life);
5) economic and household.
End of work -
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Psychology of family relations. discipline program
Considered actual problems psychology of family relations. The issues of gender differences in relation to the family, the problem of choosing a marriage partner, marital adaptation in a young family,
Questions for self-test
1. Principles of non-accusatory communication. 2. Causes of family conflicts and their types. 3. Law of multilevel causal attribution. Section 8. Destruction of marriage and family
Seminar Topics
1. Problems of love and marriage. 2. Choice of spouse and risk factors for marriage. 3. Problems of a young family. 4. Distribution of roles in the family. five.
Methods for researching family relationships
Marriage satisfaction test questionnaire (V. V. Stalin, T. L. Romanova, G. P. Butenko) The test is intended for express diagnostics of the degree of satisfaction-dissatisfied
Marriage Satisfaction Test
Text of the methodology 1. How has your feeling for your wife (husband) changed during your family life? It is assumed that at the beginning of marriage, feelings are positive for each other: a) intensified;
Data processing
Statements Answer, points True Different False
family psychology
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