School grades can be an incentive to study hard, or they can cause serious childhood experiences and neuroses, up to school rejection, lower self-esteem and self-disappointment. A child's attitude to grades largely depends on how his parents relate to his progress. The matter is aggravated if they take an extreme position on this issue: they force the task to be rewritten to the ideal form, they meet a four, and even more so a three or two in the diary with severe silence, lectures or punishments and clarify with discontent: “Why not a five? You taught! "

In raising children, the motto is often promoted: “The main thing is not winning, but participating,” but when it comes to the final grades for the quarter, adults have questions: “Where did the triple in physics come from? Why this time in English four, if there were five?" Sometimes parents forget about participation and see the importance only in the winning result, devaluing the very process of obtaining knowledge.

Meanwhile, grades are not the only indicator of children's success. A child in the humanities often cannot solve mathematical problems with an asterisk, but writes talented essays, and literacy may suffer for someone who is capable of exact sciences. A good knowledge of the subject does not always guarantee the successful passing of the exam in it: the result may be affected by excitement, a question of increased complexity, or the subjective assessment of the teacher taking the exam.

What to do if a child is too worried about grades?

First of all, to convey to him a healthy attitude to assessments. Of course, education is the main responsibility of the child in school age and you have to try. But it is worth remembering that a four is a worthy assessment, and it is also important that during the preparation of lessons the child receives knowledge that may someday come in handy. When exactly? Recall examples from your own experience: maybe one day you on your own initiative learned to type quickly, and when applying for a job, being able to type quickly turned out to be an advantage. Or the German you once learned at school came in handy on your European trip. So the child, preparing a presentation, better understood computer program, learned new historical information, practiced speaking in front of an audience.

Children often work hard for their parents, and it's important to let them know that they will always be loved, no matter what their grades are. If your child is getting very frustrated with low grades, tell him that you are ready to help him pull himself up. Maybe you need to go to the teacher together and consult what topics to study in more detail. Or you offer to repeat one rule in Russian every day and do an exercise on this rule. Try to understand the reason why academic performance is lame. Maybe the child is embarrassed to say that he misunderstood the topic, or he cannot establish a relationship with the teacher, or this is due to absences due to illness. Be prepared for an open conversation and help: hire a tutor, ask the teacher for additional classes on a problematic subject, help yourself. It is important for children to know that difficult situation you are ready to be in the same boat with them.

A four in physics or a three in Russian do not speak badly about a child's personality, character, ability to be good friend, son or daughter to their parents. This is just one of the tools for measuring knowledge. But unfortunately, this tool greatly affects children's self-esteem. Everyone loves to be praised, but what does it feel like if teachers set only excellent students as an example? It is important to remember that a child’s success is not only success at school: hobbies and socialization are important, and for children who study for the same fives, communication with peers is a particularly sore point: excellent students are too often loaded with tasks, they are afraid to lower the bar of success and not meet expectations. Therefore, it is important to pay their attention to other aspects of life. It’s good when, in addition to studying, there is an activity in which a child can demonstrate his abilities: sports, music, art school. If something is especially good, the child is more likely to perceive imperfect results in school.

Rejoice with the children at the positive results, especially comparing them with the marks of the previous period: "What a great fellow you are, you managed to correct the top three in chemistry for a four!" And be sure to inspire, set your students up for the fact that they will succeed: it often happens that because of past failures, children expect new failures and stop believing in the best. And when parents believe in children's strength, then study ceases to be a race for grades, and complex school subjects no longer seem intractable.

School grades can become both an incentive for diligent study and a cause of serious feelings and neuroses - up to school rejection, lower self-esteem and self-disappointment. How can you help your child not be too upset because of the “wrong” grades?

A small child perceives "5" or "4" not just as a mark, but as an assessment of his personality - good or bad. Unsurprisingly, in some pedagogical systems refuse marks altogether, so as not to create unnecessary reasons for the emergence of neurosis. How adequately a child can perceive grades depends, for the most part, on the family. Indeed, sometimes parents forget that not only the result is important, but also participation, and study is a process of obtaining not so much grades as knowledge.
In addition, marks are always subjective: the result may be affected by the excitement or attitude of the teacher. But often it is the attitude of the parents towards them that influences the perception of assessments by the child, and the latter, in turn, can be divided into several types.
Anxious parents. Most often, anxious parents worry about grades: for them, a mark in the diary is an indicator of the success of their child, and, consequently, this is their assessment as an effective or ineffective parent: in other words, how their contribution to the child was assessed by society. "For these moms and dads, a bad grade is catastrophic - if he has a 2, then I - bad parent", - explains Anna Fateeva, child psychologist Crisis Center for Women and Children.
authoritarian parents. Children of demanding, controlling, critical parents experience the situation with grades no less hard. Often such strict fathers and mothers force them to rewrite the task to the ideal look, they meet the four, and even more so the three in the diary with severe silence, lectures or punishments. The child begins to be afraid of evaluations, especially if he has already met with punishment - physical or emotional.
Pitiful parents. Some overly caring mothers tend to perceive school as a heavy cross for a child and are ready to alleviate his suffering at any time. With them, children quickly understand: if you cry after you get a deuce, you will not only not be scolded, but they will even pat you on the head, take pity on you and buy a chocolate bar. Now the baby uses this method every time just to play it safe. Narcissistic parents. It also happens that it is important for parents to present the results of the child to the public: to be proud, boast, brag, and then the parents - explicitly or not - broadcast to the child: “If you are not successful, you do not live up to our expectations, we don’t need you like that.” Here we are dealing with a situation of rejection, which, accordingly, will lead to an excessive sense of insecurity in the child and panic before showing the diary to the parents.
The source of the problem can be not only the family, but also the school environment: an overly strict teacher or a competitive classroom environment can also provoke an exaggerated reaction to grades. In this case, the child begins to fear that classmates will not accept him because of poor academic performance.
Daria Dmitrieva, psychologist at the Crisis Center for Women and Children
What to do if a child is too worried about grades?
When a child is just starting school, his fear of grades is almost certainly related to the fact that he does not know what reaction to expect from his parents, and therefore experiences anxiety. If it's not already Small child and the negative reaction to the assessments has become systematic, which means that the situation requires attention.
“Try to understand why the child is so worried about grades,” advises psychologist Daria Dmitrieva. - Are you afraid that your mother will swear? He ashamed? Does he think he's stupid? Did the guys laugh at him? Did the teacher insult him? In each individual case, the approach to the problem will be different.


Nevertheless, we can try to give some general recommendations.
1. From the first grade, teach your child the right attitude to learning. "I'm pleased when you get an 'A', but other marks aren't the end of the world." You should not say: “Oh, did you get a four? What are you, stupid? Here I am at your age ... "The child should be told that "4" does not say anything bad about his personality, character, ability to be a good friend, etc. This is just one of the tools for measuring knowledge.
2. Explain to the child that he has the right to make mistakes. Maybe the child is embarrassed to say that he misunderstood the topic, or he cannot establish a relationship with the teacher, or this is due to absences due to illness. It is important to support kids so that they are not afraid to say: “I don’t understand, explain.”
3. Don't compare your child to other children who are doing better. This is at least unconstructive. If you want, compare today's results with the success of your child yesterday: “Look, you learned to write this word without mistakes”, “Look, you already write compositions better.”
“It is important to let children know that they will always be loved, regardless of school grades. Your goal is to generate interest, not a race for A's."
Anna Fateeva, child psychologist
4. Be prepared to talk openly and help. If necessary, be prepared to hire a tutor, ask the teacher for additional classes on a problematic subject, and help yourself. It is important for children to know that in a difficult situation you are ready to be there for them.
6. Tell them that there are no people who have never received bad grades. You can remember the case when you yourself received a deuce or three, and laugh at it together. Some psychologists even advise to celebrate the first deuce with ice cream and chocolate cake so that the student does not have a feeling of anxiety about bad grades.5. Do not demand that the student be successful in everything. Help him get excited about something; let him spend the main energy on what interests him. It is good if, in addition to studying, there is an occupation in which the child will be successful: sports, music, art school. If something goes well, the child is easier to perceive imperfect results in school. Thus, success will help him compensate for difficulties.
And finally one more important rule: be sure to inspire, set your children up for the fact that they will succeed. It often happens that because of past failures, children expect new failures and stop believing in the best. When parents believe in their children, school stops being a race for grades.

This happens to everyone. The teacher gives you a test or an assignment that you thought you did “excellently” and then your heart drops into your stomach. You have a bad grade, not even an average. Questions flood your mind one after another. How can you improve your academic performance? What will the parents say? What will be the score at the end of the year? In order to get back on track and avoid this mistake in the future, you need to know how to act in this situation correctly. Start with the first step in this guide to learn how to survive a bad grade.

Steps

Part 1

Let the panic pass quickly. When we get a bad grade, we panic (unless you're used to it). It seems to us that we have lost our mind, attention, our talent and strength. But that's not how things are in general. Each of us can stumble. In fact, the mistakes we make in our lives are what make us the people we are, they teach us how to improve and achieve better results next time.

Remind yourself that one bad grade won't ruin your entire academic career. The academic career is made up of many various tests and tests, and not just from those assignments and presentations that you do in class. It depends on the relationship you build with your teachers; the influence you have on your friends; and most importantly, from what you learn. Judging the success of your academic career by one grade is like judging the success of a party by one guest. Such judgments are far from accurate.

Just to be sure, go back to the test and recalculate your scores. Make sure the teacher didn't make a mistake when calculating your scores or summing up the final grade. Remember, even math teachers make math mistakes!

• If you do find a mistake, check again and then take the time to talk to your teacher. Instead of focusing on the error - "You made a mistake on my test, quickly change my grade!" - try to be more understanding. Remember that honey will attract more bees than vinegar. Try something like this: "Did I notice that it didn't count here, or am I missing something?"

1. Carefully find out what grades your classmates got. You probably won't get too upset if you get a '3' or '3 -' when everyone else gets a '3' as well, because that means you got a normal grade. However, be careful when asking about other people's scores - they may not want to share with you, or they may want to know your result instead.

   • If your teacher proportionally underestimated everyone's grades, then your result will be looked at taking into account the grades of everyone else. Thus, if "4 -" is the maximum score on the test, then it becomes a "five", and a "three" becomes a "four".

   Part 2

   Seeking help to improve the situation

   1. Talk to your teacher about possible ways improve the situation. Teachers love it when students who get bad grades show a desire to learn and improve. This makes teachers feel successful, doing the right thing. So if you go up to your teacher and say something like "Hello, Yulia Sergeevna, I didn't like the way I performed on the test. Can you somehow forget about it and work on writing a better next paper?" , your teacher will simply pass out from satisfaction.

      • Even if it's difficult for you, you can get a lot of good out of meeting your teacher:
        • The tutor will explain to you the problems you got wrong and the ideas you didn't get.
        • The instructor will see that you want to learn and can take that into account in your final grade.
        • The teacher can give you an assignment for extra points.

   2. Ask for help from students who did better on the test. Helping others is rewarding, which is why many students who do well on paper help those who do poorly. Just make sure that you really spend time studying and working, and not joking and chattering. And try to choose someone you don't think is very attractive, and who you don't have a secret crush on - we all know what "study" is like when we're in the same room with a handsome guy or a beautiful girl.

      Consider telling your parents about the bad grade. While you may not do this, talking to your parents about this is still very a good idea. Your parents are worried about your progress. That's why they care about your poor grades - not because they want to make you feel bad. Keeping this in mind will make it easier for you to open up to them and hopefully get the help and support you need.

      • Your parents can sit down and explain to you what you did wrong; they can hire a tutor to help you with your studies; they may also make an appointment with your teacher (although it's unusual to do so after one bad grade) to find out how you can improve your grades.

   Part 3

   Success in the next test

   1. Practice effectively, not necessarily for a long time. Many people think that learning the right way means learning for a long time. This is not always true. Purposeful study with enthusiasm often wins over long hours of monotonous work.

      Write down your notes and comments by hand, not on a computer or laptop. Research has shown that writing with pen and paper improves your memory, as opposed to simply typing on a computer. This is due to the fact that writing letters and numbers activates the parts of the brain responsible for motor memory. Improving motor memory means improving memory in general and remembering the information that you write down.

      Take a break from time to time to refresh your memory. 10-minute breaks once an hour help memorize and master the material. You can spend one-sixth of an hour walking, playing with your dog, or calling your friend and sympathizing with them before returning to school.

      Do a practice test before the real test. Practice tests are a great solution if you can get them. They give you a good idea of ​​the problem area of ​​your knowledge and what you need to work on. Practice is the way to perfect results.

      Try not to cram. If you can do without cramming, it is better to refuse it. It wears you down, reduces your understanding of the material and sometimes reduces your self-confidence.

      Get a good night's sleep before the test. Studies have shown that every hour of sleep lost at night increases stress levels by 14%. This doesn't seem like much of a problem until you see how stress affects your grades. So get a good night's sleep at least a few nights before an important test to give your body the best chance of success.

      Have a good breakfast in the morning before the test. Your brain and your body require fuel in order to do well on a test. So a great breakfast is an important priority that should not be overlooked. Try unsweetened cereals, whole grain pastries, yogurt and muesli, oatmeal and fresh fruit to give your body the energy it needs for great results.

Do you know why assessments should exist? They should, should (2x) show the result of your work for a certain period of time. Semester cr - the result of work for the semester. Wed per topic - per month, etc.

But the assessments are not always fair. If you know 90% of all the material that goes according to the plan of the school curriculum, then you have nothing to worry about. If not, and the assessment is fair (albeit "bad" for you), then pull it up, life teaches this: learn from mistakes, your own and others.

If you ask "adult uncles" who really think in an adult way, they will say that from school you will need a maximum of 20% of the material, but the school teaches not only knowledge (Pythagorean theorems, Mendeleev's chemical elements), it also teaches life.

One day, mathematics teacher Jeremmy Kuhn was asked a question that each of us puzzled over: "and where do I need all these sines, cosines, integrals, and all other algebra with geometry"? Unlike most of his colleagues, Jeremmy was not at a loss, and named 5 reasons why mathematics is important.

Mathematics teaches you to admit your mistakes. And not just to recognize them, but also to move forward in order to still win the long-awaited victory over an unsolvable task. Let's say Carl and Clara are standing over an equation written on the blackboard. Clara is sure that the equation is solved correctly, but Carl knows for sure that it is not. An hour passes, during which the two switch roles: Clara believes the equation is wrong, and Carl stomps his feet and calls Clara an incredible dumbass. Fantastic situation? But mathematicians encounter this almost every day. Ask any teacher what to do if the problem is not solved in any way. The answer will be very simple: "Start over and try to go the other way. And most importantly, do not worry about the mistake you made, because it was she who ultimately sent you on the right track."

Mathematics helps to select exact and correct words. Precision is the courtesy of all mathematicians. It is rather difficult to argue with this, because each term and each phenomenon has its own very clear definition. Remember how teachers made us memorize the definitions of geometric shapes or, for example, the conditions of the Pythagorean theorem? At school, we had no idea where this knowledge could be useful to us, but let's think: do we always pronounce words without doubting their meaning for a second? Can you, without hesitation, answer what is the world, what is happiness or what is love? Will your answers to these questions match those of your family and friends? And most importantly, can you name something that does not have an exact definition?

Mathematics teaches you to think a few steps ahead. Solving a math problem is like playing chess. Any wrong, careless step can lead to catastrophic consequences. How often do homework in algebra, did you get stuck just because you put a minus instead of a plus? Even the smallest mistake can disrupt all plans and become a huge obstacle on the way to your cherished dream. And mathematics teaches us to be attentive and responsible for our own actions. Not a lot, right?

Math teaches you to never give up. After all, if you do not solve the problem, someone else will surely solve it. So why not be the first?

"What I am now asserting is false" - This is exactly what the famous "liar's paradox" sounds like, which describes what is happening in modern science as accurately as possible. A lot of theorems, rules and axioms that were previously considered true, but now stop working. And this means that you should not blindly trust even the most authoritative opinion until you understand everything yourself. Scientists call this the "reasonable skepticism" that mathematics teaches us so well.

PySy. Sorry for the mistakes, I'm just a crest.

"I got three, so I'm bad!" or “I got a deuce - now I will not be loved in the family!” - a frequent train of children's thoughts. And helping to cope with this is the task of parents.

But when helping, it is very important not to harm, to pick up the right words. What is important to understand?

Don't draw attention

Often such a nervous attitude to bad grades is the result of the nervousness of the parents themselves. We do not notice how we send invisible impulses to our children. We expect from them that they will become the most capable and the most talented, and without wanting it, we drive them into a corner. This often happens in families where the child’s progress is constantly discussed: guests boast of his grades, ask to see a notebook or diary. Children want to get an A in order to please dad, and cry because of a deuce, because mom will have a headache. Therefore, if you notice that the child does not adequately respond to a mark below five, is upset, cries, does not show the diary, stop concentrating on the success of the young student. Let go of the situation. In the end, the most important thing in school is not grades, but the knowledge gained.

Don't punish

Many parents generally make their child's assessments the pedestal of their personal success. “My son gets fives, so I good mom". And vice versa, "the child brought a deuce - I'm not doing enough with his development!". Such parents should reconsider their attitude to learning. The main thing is that the child is cheerful and happy and knows that they will understand him at home.

In addition, many dads and moms decide that the best motivation is fear. They have a lot of punishments in their arsenal - excommunication from a computer, tablet, cancellation of an excursion, a corner and even a belt. But all this is not effective: by punishing a negligent student, you risk instilling in him a hatred of learning. And academic performance may not improve at all if there are good reasons behind poor grades.

cheer up

So, your child came sad and drooping, with a bad mark in the diary. It is important to choose the very words that will cheer him up. Try not to make caustic remarks: “Wow! Will we be twins now?" or “Well, you upset me! I expected more from you!" Say: “Five, of course, is good, but this is not the end of the world! Let's fix it!"

Do not get into comparisons with other classmates, do not start using someone as an example: “But Petya got five! See what a smart boy!

It is important to evaluate the student's progress, what he has achieved, what problems he has solved: “Yes, there are mistakes! But how beautifully written! The handwriting has definitely gotten better!

Remember your childhood

You weren't a straight A student, were you? And did you miss? Then now is the time to talk about it so that the child knows that parents are not perfect either. But they got better, or tried to get better, didn't they?

Parse errors

There may be a serious reason behind a bad mark, and it must be understood. Firstly, the grades may be unfair: the teacher did not like the child's behavior, and he underestimated the grade. Secondly, the student himself may not learn the material for various reasons: tired, did not get enough sleep, did not understand, poorly explained. Parents need to sit down and figure this out. And, of course, help to improve in the subject, and for this, either work out with the child yourself, or hire a tutor, or buy additional explanatory literature, or ask friends, classmates of the child to help in the subject. The main thing is that your student knows that you are there and will not leave him in difficult times.

Set to good

Successful doesn't mean excellent. The child is not required to receive fives in all subjects. The main thing is to have a field of knowledge that he likes, to which he would be drawn. It is also important that the crumbs have their own hobbies and favorite activities (sports, music, painting or something else). Try to bring up a versatile, confident person, and not a downtrodden, tortured by studies, obsessed with their grades. Tune your child - he is good, the most beloved, and he will succeed in life!