The debate about the need for the presence of the father at the birth of a child continues long time. Opponents and supporters of joint childbirth cite many weighty arguments to prove their words, so parents (primarily mothers) have unclear points.

This article contains most of the pros and cons of having husbands in maternity hospital, as well as the comments of "experienced". Should a man take such a step, is it necessary or harmful, what are the possible consequences and what should dad do in the maternity hospital - we will try to find answers to the most exciting questions.

Joint birth with husband. Positive sides

The presence of a father at the birth of a child can psychologically relax a woman. Feeling that she is not alone and there is her own strong and caring shoulder nearby, it is easier for her to concentrate on the process of resolving the burden and not think about small things, such as filling out documents.

A trained spouse distracts a woman from the painful process, helping to endure contractions, “breathes” with her mother, can massage, supply water. The husband's help can also come in handy when, for example, the wife has to go to the toilet along with a stimulating dropper. The husband can help put the woman on the gym ball to ease contractions and right moment call the staff.

Anesthesiologist R.:

“I took part in the birth of all my children. It’s not that I don’t regret it, but I consider joint childbirth necessary, and I will always help my wife in childbirth. Doctors treat joint (or, as it is now fashionable, partner) childbirth in different ways, and this is understandable. By the way, for myself I have identified several common types of husbands at childbirth: curious, who always climb into everything, ask and try to help; alarmists who need help themselves - pale and fearful on their faces - they, apparently, are not in the first place in the family; and adequate, when necessary, will support, give advice to his wife in time. I have confidence that no matter what type of spouse - he must be present at the birth, like the wife.

In those moments when it is difficult for a woman to think what needs to be done, a husband can think for her. For example, when a woman from a prenatal room with a baby's head needs to reach the birth table, it is imperative to place a diaper between her legs so that the baby simply does not fall out. It's kind of like a preventive measure. birth trauma in our maternity homes. Unfortunately, not all midwives warn a woman about this. A pre-trained dad can play a significant role here, helping a woman get to the birthing table safely for herself and for the baby, not to mention helping to climb onto this table itself when the baby is about to arrive ...

The husband during childbirth not only creates the necessary comfort for his wife, but can also properly motivate the woman (if they attended childbirth school together) and thus show the first concern for the child. This stimulates the awakening of the paternal instinct. Dad does not just get a beautifully wrapped baby, but actively participates in the process of his birth. Needless to say, how the self-esteem of such men rises, who choose to share with their halves not only the joy, but also the pain of contractions?

After working together to give birth to a child, the relationship of the spouses often moves to a new level, is even more saturated with a sense of unity, tenderness and awe. A married couple really begins to feel with the child as a whole, because he was born from a joint effort.

In this case, a man feels himself not just a person whose blood flows in the baby that has appeared. He is a full participant in the sacrament of birth, and the woman feels even more confident, realizing that she and her husband can share any hardships for two.

Anna Borodina, wife of Alexander Gezalov:

“The fear that during childbirth my husband would see me“ ugly ”was not at all. And at home, I don’t always go “at the parade”, he sees me both tired and sick. And it doesn't occur to me that it will scare him. Still, we are connected by something deeper and more serious.

My husband was at all my births. He put aside all his affairs and went to me. True, during the first birth, back in Petrozavodsk, it was funny. I call: “Sasha, it has begun, come!” And he replies: “Wait, don’t give birth, I need to feed the wards of the homeless.” She explained that there was no way to wait.

The presence of my husband was very supportive. At first he tried to cheer me up, told jokes, then, when I was unable to listen to anything, he read akathists. During the second birth, he brought me to my senses when I “floated away” from the drugs that I was injected with. The thought that there was a dear person nearby and he would not leave me comforted and gave strength. So I am very grateful to Sasha for this.”

Joint childbirth. Contraindications

First of all, it must be said that in Russia, joint childbirth, as a rule, has never been practiced. Although there were unscheduled cases when the husband himself took birth. What can I say, even in our time this happens.

The story of the wife of a priest without a medical education, mother K.:

“Batiushka knows well what problems during pregnancy are, he prays for all the babies. He himself took my second birth, so almost an obstetrician, although I had a pathology during childbirth - improper opening of the cervix. Then, in the maternity hospital, the doctor said that he wouldn’t even think about it - he would immediately cut it. And the father corrected everything, and I myself gave birth to a daughter.

At the same time, some women feel that the presence of a spouse at the birth of a baby is inappropriate. When experiencing pain during childbirth, women tend to do strange things. Some, in moments of weakness, can even blame their fathers for their torment: “He is standing there, he doesn’t feel anything !!!” The spouse at the same time may blame himself for passivity and inability to alleviate the pain of the second half. If, before the birth, the relationship between the parents was devoid of warmth and there was a habit of mutual reproaches, it is really better to refuse to have a baby together.

Quite a large group of women are embarrassed by their husbands. Complexes regarding appearance can seriously distract a woman from the process of childbirth.

A husband may overestimate his willingness to be present at the birth of a child and, at a crucial moment, begin to panic or pass out, thereby forcing doctors to switch to him instead of helping the woman in childbirth. And such cases are far from uncommon.

Opponents of joint childbirth believe that birth is a sacrament at which a man should not be present, they are frightened by a decrease in sexual desire for a spouse after joint childbirth. Many even talk about disgust for a woman after childbirth, about turning to a psychologist about this.

Elena, psychologist, mother of three children, host of the School of Moms:

“I know a case when a husband was so worried about the pain of his wife that when he took a newborn baby in his arms, he felt angry that this child caused so much torment to his beloved. This man had to be rehabilitated by a psychologist for a long time. He first experienced the feeling of love for his child when he was 3 years old.

In some cases, a man lacks certain life attitudes in order to go to a joint birth and transfer it adequately. In other cases, a man is simply not fit for this. After all, when a man, so strong and confident, is faced with a situation that he absolutely cannot help his wife and child, it can unsettle him. By the way, for the same reason, men can lead to despair frequent illnesses wives and children.

Individual men with an explosive temperament may begin to dictate their own "rules" of childbirth, which they read about in some book. This behavior can seriously interfere with honey. personnel and lead to errors.

In a Kiev maternity hospital, the father of a newborn girl broke the bridge of her nose to a female pediatrician with 25 years of experience, because the doctor wanted to wash off the lubricant from the baby, and the father, in turn, considered this a harmful procedure for adapting the child to the environment.

Preparing for a joint birth

If your family has chosen joint birth, you need to seriously prepare for this in advance. Be sure to take special training courses, study the literature, but trust in a doctor should always come first. On the one hand than more information a person receives, the more confident he will feel, this is important. On the other hand, not everything is as written in the literature, life itself dictates the rules and this must be taken into account. Therefore, we repeat: trust, and once again, trust in the midwife and doctors. Even if the doctor who delivers is an excellent specialist, but feels psychological pressure and inappropriate behavior from the father, this can lead to big medical errors.

What should a husband who decides to help his wife in childbirth need to know?

1. Let the wife feel safe.
2. In no case should you panic and rush. Be confident, calm and reasonable.
3. Watch your spouse's breathing process, learn breathing techniques that ease contractions.
4. Take the time to learn massage techniques. This will help relieve tension during contractions.
5. It is unnecessary to control the whole process to the smallest detail if you are not a doctor. Choose a seat at the head.
6. In no case should you criticize the actions medical staff. Do what they say, because you are for one.
7. Be prepared to leave the room in case of complications, so as not to interfere with the doctors in saving lives.

Joint birth- this is a very important decision that is made by the spouses only together and with full awareness possible consequences. A woman should not force her husband into the rodblok, the man himself has the right to make such an important decision. If he refuses to be present at the birth, you cannot blame him for failure and attribute psychological diagnoses. It will most likely be better for your family.

If the situation is reversed - a woman does not want the presence of her husband at childbirth, this also does not mean her distrust. It is better for a spouse to treat with understanding the feelings of a pregnant wife.

Therefore, there is no unequivocal answer to the question - "need joint birth or not?". Each family will have its own answer, regardless of the maturity of the relationship and the heights of love.

Therapist Z.:

I was categorically against joint childbirth, until “accidentally” I myself was in such childbirth, and even a woman in labor! The husband still made his way to the birth of our child. How grateful I am for that! And the husband remembers the birth with love ...

Just a few years ago partnership childbirth were considered a "Western curiosity" and it was possible to observe them only in foreign films. Today the situation is quite different. The question of who to give birth with is asked by every second pregnant woman. After all - this is not necessarily childbirth with her husband. You can take your mother, girlfriend and even a neighbor with you to the hospital. But still, most often, women give birth just with their husbands. And it is this topic that is the most discussed and controversial. Thousands of examples of how easy it was to give birth with a beloved husband, and just as many disappointments. No wonder: every family is unique. And the consequences of joint birth are also individual.

One of my acquaintances did not even raise the issue of family childbirth. Both spouses were sure that they would divorce right in the hospital: he - because of her whims, and she - because of his "uselessness". As a result, they gave birth together, live happily and remember this event with special trepidation. Others, on the contrary, prepared for partner childbirth even more than for a chic wedding: they attended courses for future parents, reviewed all possible films about childbirth, reread many books and magazines. But after the long-awaited event, the husband recovered for a month with the help of psychologists, and the wife silently experienced postpartum depression. So, it is sometimes impossible to predict the outcome of joint births. However, there are general rules on the basis of which it is possible to determine the degree of readiness of the family for childbirth "for two".

When is it absolutely impossible to take your husband with you to the delivery room?

An erroneous and dangerous reason why a woman demands the presence of her husband at the birth is "to see how I suffer." As a rule, in this case, the family is going through some kind of crisis. And it will not be possible to solve it with the help of joint childbirth. Rather, on the contrary - in this way you will only put an end to the beginning of the end.

If a husband is catastrophically afraid of blood, then he has no place in the delivery room.

If you decided to give birth with your husband only because all your friends gave birth in pairs, then pay attention to other acquaintances. Many get divorced, cheat on each other, suffer humiliation ... Do not be afraid to be different from the rest.

When is it necessary to take a husband for childbirth?

If you are used to relying on your spouse in everything, at the right moment he knows how to calm you down, distract or cheer you up, besides, he himself declares his readiness for joint childbirth, then you don’t even need to think about anything. Childbirth "together" will bring you even closer.

If your husband knows how to do analgesic massage, then during childbirth it is simply necessary. During the period of contractions, he will be very useful to you (both a husband and a massage).

If you give birth without a contract, with a doctor on duty, and you have heard about how badly workers of many maternity hospitals treat women in labor, then take your husband with you as a “protective gun”. It has been verified by many couples that with a husband, the medical staff is more attentive and patient towards a woman giving birth.

Contraindications

Even with your mutual desire to give birth together, there are medical "barriers" on the way to this event:

• infectious diseases of the husband (flu, tuberculosis, syphilis);
• alcohol intoxication;
• inappropriate behavior in the delivery room;
• fetal pathology;
• C-section;
• childbirth in a common ward, where another woman can give birth nearby.

In all of these cases, the husband will not be allowed to “give birth” with you.

Preparing for childbirth with husband

Even if you have a number of psychological "contraindications" for joint childbirth, prepare for such important event in your life is worth both. Be sure to attend courses for future parents with your husband. It is there that the question of whether the couple is ready or not for joint childbirth is usually decided. These courses often show videos of childbirth. The husband has the opportunity to "rehearse" and determine the degree of his readiness for such a feat. In addition, instructors describe and teach in detail how to help a woman in.

It is very important to discuss all possible situations before giving birth. Childbirth takes place in three stages:, attempts and the birth of the placenta. Based on this, you can agree on in what period and what kind of assistance you need. Very often, the husband is with his wife during contractions, but when he tries, he goes out the door. He can be with you until victory, while not looking into the “dangerous” zone, but helping you (by breathing, support, words of consolation or encouragement).

Also agree on signals. If at some point you do not want to continue joint childbirth, then let your husband know about it. It is important that he immediately unconditionally fulfill your desire. Yes, and he himself should have the right to leave when he no longer has the strength to “give birth” with you. The main thing is to do without resentment.

Help for the "giving birth" husband

• Listen patiently to your spouse. During the period of contractions, she can even behave inappropriately. Be prepared for her hysteria and even accusations against you.
• Try to distract her by talking interesting stories, jokes.
• Recall lectures from courses. A woman in a period of strong contraction can forget about everything in the world. Your task is to remember a comfortable position, give a massage, support mentally and physically.
• Be courageous. Childbirth is not one of the most “beautiful” spectacles. However, during this period you are witnessing the birth of a new life, which, in fact, was conceived by you.

What can go wrong with your husband?

1. Fainting. This happens very often and causes a lot of trouble. It is not so easy for medical staff to deal with both a woman in labor and a half-dead husband at the same time. Agree before childbirth that if the husband feels even a slight dizziness, he will immediately leave the delivery room.
2. Nervous collapse. This condition can arise for several reasons. Firstly, if your doctor is a man, and your husband is jealous, then the situation can be very unpredictable. Secondly, the husband is also capable of breaking loose in the event of a difficult birth: his beloved wife screams in pain, and the medical staff does nothing. Prepare your spouse for the fact that childbirth is a long and painful process.
3. temporary impotence. A lot of people talk about it, which means that this is what they are afraid of. Sometimes, women themselves, not realizing their mistake, prepare such a scenario for their husband. They do not want their husband to see them, to put it mildly, unattractive. But just keep in mind, dear ladies, that in the postpartum period you will be far from being a model from the cover of a magazine. If you really don’t want to look “unusual” in front of your husband, then it’s better to refuse joint childbirth right away.

Observations of psychologists

The main conclusion of psychologists about family childbirth is an early paternal instinct. There are three common variations of paternal instinct: wakes up immediately, eventually, never. Psychologists say that just thanks to joint childbirth, parental feelings in fathers wake up in the first minutes of a newborn's life. A man "in childbirth" is aware of his responsibility for the little man. But for such an outcome, a number of conditions are required. The most important thing is the husband's readiness for joint childbirth, true desire and awareness in this process.

Many still treat childbirth as a sacrament. But this is the sacrament of the woman herself, they say. And there is no need to invade the idyll of childbirth for a frightened husband. Let him never solve the riddle of nature: where do children come from. Knowing about it is one thing, but seeing everything with your own eyes is quite another. And the show is by no means for the faint of heart. Others, on the contrary, observe the idyll in the opposite way. Since the husband and wife are one, let their "integrity" be manifested in everything. Even during childbirth. Both sides are most likely right. There is no need to make stupid conclusions about which birth is better. It's up to you to decide anyway!

Especially for- Tanya Kivezhdiy

... The ending was tragicomic. The happy father stumbled from experiences and fell from the height of the third floor right into the bushes. The newborn daughter then had to be held with a hand free of plaster. It's absolutely real story that happened in my city. It's good that everything worked out. And it is all the more remarkable that now the entrance to the maternity hospital is open to dads.

Anyone who wants to take birth with his wife can do this without any problems. Some problems may start after. There are couples for whom the experiment with joint births eventually led to divorce. Therefore, this issue must be approached thoughtfully. So, today we will chat on the topic: "Husband in childbirth: pros and cons."

Father is a "heroine"

Now the presence of childbirth has become fashionable. You must have heard dads brag about the fact that he and his wife “gave birth together.” For some, this is, if you like, such a small heroism. Well, given the subtle mental organization of males, this is really an act worthy of an honorary order.

Before considering all the pros and cons of a joint visit to the hospital, you need to remember that childbirth is not an entertainment event. Therefore, if the spouse just wanted “bread and circuses,” then it’s better to watch scientific videos on the Internet. If a man is driven not just by curiosity, but by a sincere desire to support his beloved and somehow alleviate her condition, then welcome to the hospital.

We weigh all the pros and cons and make a decision.

Breathe dear

Let's start by counting all per».

• Giving birth is no easy task. And sometimes it is almost more difficult for an unprepared person to observe this process than for a woman in labor herself. Therefore, many couples visit preparatory classes. Usually they are paid, but the result is worth it. Joint lectures and practical exercises bring spouses very close. They learn to breathe properly, push, massage. All this relieves anxiety in a woman and gives courage to the future dad. Relations after childbirth become more harmonious. After all, the father knows firsthand what it is like to bear and give birth to a baby.
• At the time of childbirth, a prepared dad is an indispensable assistant. Stroking his wife on the head, giving her a lower back massage, talking to her, he takes some of the pain on himself, relieves tension. “We can do everything, you are my smart girl, breathe, push,” the future father says in a calm voice. All this is only for the benefit of the woman and the baby, and the likelihood that something will go wrong is minimized. Of course, any man in the process can panic and, wringing his hands, start running around the ward and calling for help. Then it would be best to remove the dad so as not to disturb the woman in labor.
• When the baby has already “arrived” from the hospital to his home cradle, dad will probably not leave him for a minute. Bathe, clean the navel, change diapers, swaddle - he will cope with any mother's worries, except for breastfeeding. He went through childbirth (!), Is it possible to frighten him now with something? Fathers who did not “give birth” at first are afraid to even take the baby in their arms. “He is so tiny, what if I break something or dislocate him?” They argue. Therefore, plus the third is the acquired paternal instinct, which many have developed over the years.

horror for dads

Now " against". There will also be three.

• Despite external power and fortitude, men often weaken at the sight of things that shock them. And childbirth is a kind of shock too. A woman is revealed during them in all her nature, literally and figuratively. She is not made up, sweats, groans. And what is it like for a man to see discharge, blood, a “baby place” that has departed after childbirth? For some, this is scarier than horror movies. All this will be imprinted in the memory and subsequently may affect the intimate life. Disgust, rejection and coldness in sex - all these things can bring spouses to infidelity or divorce after partner childbirth.
• Men-alarmists in childbirth can faint. And then the medical staff will have to distract from the woman in labor, and pump out her husband. Childbirth doesn't always go smoothly. You have to make incisions, and even caesarean, so as not to ruin the baby. The cries and groans of the wife can affect the behavior of the spouse quite unexpectedly. Instead of comforting future mother, he may begin to get nervous, feeling helpless, panic, or even fall into a stupor. Well, what, tell me, from this benefit. After giving birth, such a man is sluggish and indifferent for some time. Well, still - he needs time to move away, to comprehend the experience.
• “I gave birth with my wife. Nothing is impossible for me, ”the proud father often thinks after a joint birth. Now he is not only a breadwinner, the head of the family, he can even give birth. And that means: be quiet, woman, I have been in the army and in the maternity hospital. In other words, respect for the main female "superpower" - the birth of a baby, after childbirth can come to naught. As they say, I was there, and I was not afraid, and in general, I could easily give birth myself, if I could. Although, seeing only the outer side of the torment of his wife, a man cannot feel even a share of the pain that she experiences. Sometimes childbirth must remain a sacrament, a mystery behind seven seals, which male gender cannot be disclosed.

The director himself

In conclusion, I will say that I have many examples before my eyes when joint birth benefited both spouses and vice versa. A girl gave birth with me at the same time. So she, feeling contractions, immediately called her husband. “And grab a camera,” she commanded. The unfortunate husband acted as a photographer and videographer.

So, after a couple of years, she showed me memorable photos from childbirth. “But a child’s place, and this is a piece of the umbilical cord, it’s my water that has broken,” she said enthusiastically. “And how are you and your husband?” I burst out. She shrugged. It turned out that the husband left for Moscow a year after the birth of his son, sometimes he sends gifts and money, but with ex-wife long time no contact.

There are also positive examples. There are many more. I know a couple large families. One already has five children! So dad witnessed the birth of each of the "five", and once even took birth at home. When I see how he and his wife walk arm in arm, and next to them the older children are carrying the younger ones in strollers, I involuntarily break into a smile of tenderness.

Joint childbirth can both bring together and alienate forever. Much depends on the relationship of the spouses before the birth of the child. Remember: a family on the verge of divorce will not be saved by the presence of the pope at the birth. Rather, the cold in the relationship will only get worse. Both of you should feel that you want to give birth together, that this is an important stage in family life, which you will overcome together, and only then make a decision about partner childbirth.

Why am I talking and talking, you probably have your own interesting stories on this topic, funny or sad. So lay it out, and we will listen with pleasure, or rather, read it.

Each couple explains their desire to give birth together in different ways. Someone thinks that everything will go easier and faster this way, for someone it is important that the child, having been born, immediately gets acquainted not only with mom, but also with dad, so that from the first minutes of life he feels like in the family circle . Often this decision “ripens” after the future parents go to pregnancy courses together, and sometimes the father decides to go to the hospital with his wife spontaneously, literally at the very last moment. But most often, future parents plan everything in advance and reason like this: we spent the whole pregnancy together, went through many trials, and it would be strange to leave at the most crucial moment. Moreover, it is during childbirth that a woman often feels especially helpless, and she needs her husband's support more than ever.

You should not go to give birth together just because it is fashionable or because your friends did it. The birth of a child is a joyful event, but at the same time it is a crucial stage in the life of every family. Roles are changing, relationships between spouses are changing, in fact, a restructuring is taking place within the family. And only a conscious, free decision to jointly help the child to be born will benefit both him and his parents. Therefore, when planning a partner birth, it makes sense to discuss your expectations in advance and find out how much they coincide with the partner's ideas.

Many men think about accompanying their wives, but they are stopped by myths that are firmly planted in the mass consciousness. Despite the fact that times have changed, they still remain relevant. Surely, you are familiar with the chilling stories about how one man fainted after seeing the process of childbirth, and the other lost interest in his wife forever. As a rule, nothing like this actually happens. Any normal man understands that the behavior of his wife in a normal setting and in the delivery room will be different. Of course, sometimes there are overly impressionable representatives of the strong half of humanity, and not all couples are ready for joint childbirth, since they involve a fairly high level of intimacy and mutual understanding.

Obviously, attending a birth is not an entertainment event. However, there is nothing shocking about it. In addition, most husbands, especially on later dates pregnancy, and so inevitably face the female physiology every day. In addition, if at some point the tension becomes completely unbearable, nothing prevents a man from taking a time out and leaving the delivery room.

How can a husband help during childbirth?

Most women who have given birth with their husband say that his help was invaluable. After all, childbirth is not only attempts, as they like to show in the movies. This is already the final and most dynamic stage, and all labor activity, as a rule, takes not an hour or two, but 6-8 hours, sometimes it even drags on up to 12 hours. Even a contracted doctor will not sit next to you during this entire period. And the husband will be, he will be able to bring water, cheer up, give an anesthetic massage, help to stand up or sit down, distract him with a conversation in between contractions. In a word, will be able to support you. In addition, no woman can foresee how she will behave during childbirth, whether she will adequately respond to what is happening, how she will feel later. Therefore, the presence of a close person will be useful.

Let's see how specifically a husband can help each stage of childbirth.

Childbirth with husband: the first period

This period lasts from the beginning of the first contractions to the full disclosure of the cervix. The hardest part of this phase is pain in the abdomen and sacrum associated with contractions.

Partner can:

• measure the time from one contraction to the start of the next (this information is very important, since the frequency of contractions indicates the degree of cervical dilatation);
• keep the woman calm, do not let her get confused and panic, as this can negatively affect the entire process of childbirth;
• help a woman relax between contractions, take a break;
• perform with the mother special exercises, contributing to a faster and painless flow of the birth process;
• moisten lips with water;
• remind her that every hour she needs to go to the toilet (this is necessary for the normal contraction of the muscles of the uterus);
• breathe correctly with a woman during contractions;
• do anesthetic massage (massage the abdomen, sacrum, etc.);
• if necessary, call a doctor, and also be interested in what and why manipulations are carried out, drugs are administered, etc .;
• decide on pain relief if the woman is unable to do so herself.

Childbirth with husband: second period

At this stage of labor, contractions become longer, stronger and more frequent. At the beginning of this phase, you should already be in the hospital. The second period lasts from full disclosure of the cervix until the birth of the child. During this stage, attempts are added to contractions - arbitrary contractions of the muscles of the anterior abdominal wall. Thanks to the attempts, the child moves down through the small pelvis.

Partner can:

• control breathing, applying the techniques mastered in preparation for childbirth;
• during attempts to help a woman take a comfortable position, if necessary;
• hold her hand, cheer her up, wipe the sweat;
• duplicate the instructions of doctors, because it often happens that during childbirth a woman panics and stops hearing what strangers say to her. And the words of a loved one manage to penetrate her mind. Many note that a command repeated in a native voice comes faster than the words of an unfamiliar doctor;
• periodically inform the expectant mother about how the baby is progressing;
• cut the umbilical cord as directed by the midwife.

Childbirth with husband: third period

During the third stage of labor, the uterus continues to contract, the placenta separates from the walls of the uterus and then comes out.

Partner can:

• put the baby on the woman's chest;
• capture the first minutes with a newborn;
• congratulate my mother and thank the doctors.

It must be remembered that childbirth is a long process, and at this time it is important for a woman to be not alone, but together with a close, beloved person.

How to prepare for partner childbirth?

As you can see, a man in childbirth can be very useful. However, if he does not know anything about the specifics of childbirth or, worse, goes to them for the sake of satisfying curiosity or under duress, in this case his presence will do more harm than good. Therefore, it is important to prepare the future dad in advance. As a rule, courses for pregnant women have special classes for men, where they tell how childbirth will take place and how they can help at each stage. Such knowledge helps men feel more confident, because, as they say, forewarned is forearmed. The classes teach the basic principles of emergency care (psychological and physical) and special massage and breathing techniques. Although, as practice shows, most of all, at the time of childbirth, a woman needs psychological support.

Many men are wary of childbirth, even afraid of them, although they often do not admit it. This does not at all characterize them as bad husbands and fathers. Psychologists believe that such fears and unconscious resistance are often associated with the peculiarities of upbringing and attitudes towards such issues in his family. That is why it is important to devote enough time and attention to preparing the future dad for participation in childbirth.

If you attended the course without your spouse, then tell him about the stages of childbirth (emphasizing that deviations from the norm are possible), as well as what problems you may have to face. It should also be mentioned that because of pain, your behavior can change drastically. It seems that this is obvious, but in this case it is better not to lose sight of a single detail. A man must be prepared for an unexpected "turn of events."

What to provide for joint childbirth?

In most maternity hospitals, the husband is allowed to be present at the birth, there is no need to pay for it. But this point is better to discuss where you plan to give birth. There are times when partner births are not allowed. Sometimes this is prohibited by the internal rules of the maternity hospital, and usually the husband is not allowed if the development of the child is accompanied by any pathology and it is likely that the birth process may be complicated and surgical intervention will be required. If it is initially known that a woman will give birth with the help of caesarean section, joint childbirth is also not carried out, since this is an abdominal operation and the presence of strangers during it is inappropriate.

Each maternity hospital has its own list of examinations that a man needs to undergo before he is allowed into the delivery room. Usually they are tested for syphilis (RW), HIV, hepatitis B and C (HBS, HCV). Sometimes they ask to do a fluorography and bring the conclusion of the therapist about the general state of health. In some maternity hospitals, clothes are given out to the future dad, but somewhere you can bring your own (cotton trousers, T-shirt, socks and rubber slippers). They also sometimes require a photocopy of your passport. You are allowed to take photo and video equipment, water and even food with you. By the way, many couples forget about the latter from excitement when they are going to the hospital, and then the young father has to hastily look for something to eat. Please note that the listed list of tests and things is generalized: each maternity hospital has its own rules, and they need to be clarified in advance.

How does joint childbirth affect a man?

It largely depends on the mood of the man and why the couple chose this type of childbirth. For example, if this is a way to solve any intra-family problems, then as a result they will most likely be harmed. In no case should childbirth be used as a factor designed to smooth out sharp corners. Some women try to get their husbands involved in childbirth, hoping that seeing their wife suffer will make him show more respect and love her more. But most often, with such a formulation of the question, all that intensifies in a man is a sense of guilt. Therefore, keep in mind that manipulations, in principle, harm relationships, and especially in such an important matter as the birth of a child.

If a man participates in childbirth, based on his sincere desire, then it is likely that this process will have a positive effect on him. Any psychologist will tell you that Team work, respect and trust in each other - this is the "cement" that holds the bricks together, from which the "building" of relationships is built. And in childbirth, all these elements are present in full. It has also been proven that a man who has been in childbirth develops a paternal instinct faster. The sooner he gets to know his child, the sooner he realizes that he has become a father. After all, unlike a woman who is one with the baby for nine long months, the husband decides mainly material issues. As a result, many men admit that they are fully aware of their paternity only at the moment when the child begins to speak. Joint childbirth can speed up this process, as dad immediately feels his involvement in what is happening. In addition, he can cut the umbilical cord and feel that he helped the newborn become an independent person, and this is very important.

Childbirth with a husband: pros and cons

Joint childbirth is most likely for you if:

• you are used to openly discussing everything that worries you;
• you are not ashamed to get sick and look not the best in the second half;
• in critical situations, a man mobilizes, acts reasonably and does not give in to panic;
• you are ready to share equally all the responsibility and care for the baby.

It is better to refuse joint childbirth if:

• you are not used to sharing experiences;
• it is generally accepted in the family that women have their own secrets and childbirth - a purely feminine affair;
• one of the partners doubts whether it is worth giving birth together;
• a woman is used to solving all problems herself;
• a man is emotional and prone to panic, does not know how to control himself;
• the man is very impatient and cannot stand a long wait;
• the future dad is used to being the center of attention, and the situation when he should be on the sidelines makes him uncomfortable;
• the spouse is infantile and does not know how to take responsibility.

The presence of a husband at childbirth today is no longer a rarity. Despite the fact that in the West this has been practiced for a long time, in Russia a husband present in childbirth has appeared quite recently. What's this? A tribute to fashion, a desire to help your wife or see a miracle - the birth of a long-awaited child? Men and women answer these questions differently, due to their family circumstances, love or fear of childbirth. There is no single opinion, and future parents, like medical workers divided into two opposing camps.

Joint birth - what are they for?

Joint childbirth with her husband allows the latter to be with the woman during labor, and often at the most crucial moment - attempts and the birth of a child. Not all maternity hospitals allow the presence of the husband at the birth, and, often, this is a paid procedure. On the process of childbirth together with her husband, it is often necessary to negotiate long and hard with the maternity hospital, to choose medical institution, where future parents will be satisfied with the conditions of the mother and child, the price and mutual trust of doctors and a pregnant couple.

Advantages of the presence of a husband in childbirth

Undoubtedly, in any responsible business there are advantages and disadvantages. And more importantly, it's up to each married couple to be done individually. It happens that the father did not participate in the first birth, but desired to be present at the second. Or vice versa, the first childbirth shocked him so much that he would not go to the next ones for any money. And yet, what are the advantages of the presence of a parent at childbirth:

There is an opinion that being with your wife in childbirth awakens the paternal instinct. The future dad sees the appearance of the childHow to cope with tantrums and hyperactivity of the child? into the light, sometimes they even let him cut the umbilical cord, he sees the whole process of examining the baby, washing him, swaddling him, and then, holding a swaddled bag in his hands, looking into his eyes and admiring the work of his hands;
The husband can provide real help a woman in labor, holds her hand, strokes her hair, and the “advanced” is able to perform a massage of the lumbosacral region to relieve pain during contractions;
Some women are terribly afraid of the upcoming birth, and the presence of a close and dear person provides significant psychological support. In addition, the husband can entertain and distract the woman in labor funny stories, anecdotes, will call the doctor to the prenatal room in which case, he will give a glass of water. You can shout at your husband when you no longer have the strength to restrain yourself, in general, to discharge yourself from negative emotions;
For many men, the very birth of a child is a joy, and being present at the birth is not an empty phrase for them, but direct participation in the process. Such husbands consider themselves equal parents: “We conceived a child together, so we will also give birth together”;
Also, the husband can control all the manipulations and procedures that are carried out by his wife (after all, often a woman in childbirth is simply distracted from the actions of doctors, focusing on contractions).

Disadvantages of a husband being in childbirth

The disadvantages of the presence of a husband at childbirth also cannot be discounted. And they concern not only the desire or unwillingness of a man to stay in childbirth, but also a woman:

A woman in childbirth may be ashamed of her husband. After all, this is not a beauty contest, but sometimes an impartial physiological process, where there will be blood, involuntary urination and defecation, tears or incisions in the perineum, suturing. Not every woman would like to appear before her beloved man in this form;
Quite sincerely, many men believe that a woman should remain a mystery, and childbirth is what it is. women's secret, which men do not need to know;
Husbands often get lost during childbirth, forget what they read in books, learned in pregnancy courses and begin to fuss and get nervous. By such behavior, they not only do not help their wife and doctors, but even interfere. In addition, men, as you know, are the weaker sex, and can easily faint at the sight of blood or the birth of a baby, as a result, doctors are forced to deal not with a woman in labor, but with an unstable husband;
Some women cannot relax in the presence of their husband, although when they are alone, they are able to endure the pain and troubles of life quite calmly. Also, with their restless behavior, men distract women in childbirth from childbirth, they cannot focus on contractions and the demands of medical personnel;
Many men, and even women, are afraid that the presence of a husband at childbirth will adversely affect their intimate relationships.