With the harmonious building of relationships, a normal attachment of the child to the mother arises. But this is not always the case. It also happens that the child develops an ineffective painful attachment, often manifesting itself in the form of an affective attachment. He cannot do without her for a minute, there are cases when a child chases after his mother. What to do and how to fix it, we will understand.

It is great when the process of growing up and interacting with the world in a baby proceeds harmoniously and painlessly. When a mother is a guarantor of safety, acceptance and support for her child on a bizarre and amazing life path. After all, it is the mother who most often becomes the most significant adult in the life of the child, to whom he forms attachment. And it is so important that the process of its formation and itself be reliable and harmonious.

Beware, insecure attachment!

Alas, this is not always the case. It happens that the whole behavior of the mother turns into "causing happiness." Based on the best considerations, big mistakes are made that affect not only the quality of attachment, but also the future life of the child. As a result, the child develops an unreliable and insecure attachment, which can be of several types:

Indifferent attachment (avoidant type)

As the name implies, this is the indifferent behavior of the child, aimed at avoiding any communication. Such children do not show interest in people: neither to children, nor to adults. They do not experience special emotions when their mother leaves, as well as when she returns.

Parent Contribution: often, parents of a child with this type of attachment focus solely on their own interests and needs, not taking into account the real desires and needs of the child. There are two leading types of behavior characteristic of mothers in such relationships:

• "Egoistic", in which the child is more of a hindrance to the usual life than a desired object of love and care. Such mothers try to minimize contact with the baby and reject his needs. They prefer to substantively calm their child (most often with toys), without coming into emotional contact with him (hugs, communication, stroking).
• "Altruistic", characterized by the excessive presence of the mother. Her overprotectiveness has nothing to do with warmth and care for the baby. She does only what she considers necessary and useful for the child, not at all considering his needs and requirements. Often, mothers of this type of behavior are supporters of early development and literally “terrorize” the child with classes and exercises every free minute.

In both cases, the behavior of the mother provokes the development of alienation in the baby, the desire to avoid emotional intimacy and communication. Such children have low self-esteem and it is very difficult to establish contact with other children, they are secretive and withdrawn, often in conflict and detached from the world.

Insecure attachment of the disorganized type is expressed in the fearful behavior of the child. And this timidity is directed at the mother herself. The child tries to anticipate the mother's reaction to his behavior so as not to provoke her anger. Often such children, when their mother appears, try to run away and hide, or freeze in place.

Parent Contribution: the mothers of such children are characterized by neglectful or cruel behavior, up to the use of physical force (domestic violence) or aggressive psychological pressure. It may seem that the child constantly annoys and angers her.

In such an environment, “at the forefront” for the crumbs is survival and the strength that is necessary for this. Often such a child is harsh and unsociable, and tends to resort to avoidance or freezing tactics. He has difficulty establishing contact and emotional connection with other people.

Affective attachment (the anxious-resisting type) is described in detail below.

Affective attachment of a child, what is it?

In various information sources for parents, one can find two views on the phenomenon of affective attachment.

From one point of view, affective attachment is defined as an excessive, very strong attachment of a child to his mother (less often to another significant adult for the baby). The child does not want to part with his mother literally for a minute.

Another point of view says that affective attachment is a type of "distorted attachment". It is expressed in the fact that, on the one hand, the child is very attached to his mother and is very hard going through her disappearance from sight, with screaming and crying. On the other hand, when his mother reappears, he feels joy and anger at the same time. The baby tends to her, clings and "sticks" and at the same moment pushes her away and starts screaming, crying. This behavior of the baby is often provoked by the parents themselves.

Parental contribution: mothers who behave ambiguously towards their child, caressing and scolding him not on merit, but according to their mood, do not understand that they themselves form an affective attachment in a child, that such behavior negatively affects the formation of basic models of the baby's response to himself. yourself and the world around you.

The inconsistent behavior of the mother makes the child anxious. He does not understand what "right" and "wrong" behavior should be, because in different time he can be praised and scolded for the same act. As a result, the most important person does not make them feel accepted, safe, and unconditional love, but creates conditions for painful attachment to him, causing conflicting feelings.

Examples of such mother's behavior can be the following situations: a mother can gently hug a child and at the same time reprimand him for wrong behavior or rejoice and in a second demonstrate absolute coldness, she can gently soothe crying baby, but in the absence of a result, he begins to swear and shout at him. It happens that the behavior of the mother in public and alone with the baby varies. In the presence of strangers, the mother behaves affectionately and affably, hugs and “lisps” the baby, and alone with him shows coldness and detachment. With this treatment, the baby learns a dual pattern of behavior, and the strong attachment of the child to the mother becomes an indicator of his insecurity in her attitude towards him. For example, a baby may hysterically ask to be held by his mother, but once there, he immediately demands to be released.

With this approach to education, the attachment of the child to the mother becomes a form of manipulation. He learns that he can get what he wants by throwing a temper tantrum, and begins to implement this approach quite successfully.

And then what?

Distortion and instability of affection is not the limit. The lack of attention and adequate response to the needs of the baby, the inconsistency of the emotional response to his requests and aspirations can lead to more serious consequences. Insecure attachment can lead to her frustration.

To date, experts distinguish 2 types of such disorders:

• Disinhibited, in which the child loses the border and he literally "sticks" to any adult indiscriminately.
• Reactive, when the mother becomes practically the center of the world for the child. Such children refuse contact with other children and adults, show extreme vigilance in the presence of people they do not know, not losing it even after consolation from the mother.

Most often, disorders of the child's attachment to the mother are accompanied by additional psychological problems: PTSD, an acute stressful situation or an emotional shock.

It is important to understand that life is not limited to infancy and childhood, and the child will carry the learned models of relationships and behavior through the rest of his life. How each type of attachment of a child to his mother will affect his future is well illustrated by the table below:

	Attachment
Sphere of life	Reliable	avoidant	affective
Attitude towards yourself	Self-confidence and self-confidence, positive self-attitude and adequate self-assessment	Low assessment of oneself and one's abilities, feeling of non-recognition from others
Attitude towards parents	Mutual trust and understanding, desire for contact and assistance, interest	Relationships as needed. The child remembers his parents only in cases of any need, otherwise he does not even remember them.	Absence of parents in life, unwillingness to contact and be interested in them
Romantic and family relationships	Mutual respect and the desire for stability in relations, for building a strong and lasting alliance	The desire to merge and completely dissolve in each other, jealousy and passion. The feeling that true love you need to find and make it very difficult	Difficulties in building a deep emotional connection, fear of opening up to another person, skepticism about love
Labor Relations	Able to prioritize and not mix work and personal life. Such people understand that they can make a mistake in their work and do not take it personally. They are consistent and adequate in assessing their abilities.	They crave recognition and admiration from others. The most important thing is encouragement. They take work moments to heart and tend to mix work and personal.	Excessively demanding of themselves and extremely rarely satisfied with their results. People who fence off work from personal life, literally living it.

Thus, the formation of a reliable attachment of a child to his mother in infancy is of key importance for his later life in all its aspects.

How to make a bond secure?

Three points play a key role in the formation of the “correct” attachment:

• Stability is the repeated repetition of a certain behavior of the mother in relation to the baby. The correct reaction to the crying of the crumbs is the desire to calm and caress him, to his attempts at contact - a positive response, a smile and affectionate treatment. Thus, the baby will learn that mom is the very person who will help and comfort, caress and support. Here is such a simple scheme that can form a solid foundation for the formation of a reliable attachment of the baby to his mother.

On a note: It happens that the adult in stable contact with the child is not the mother, but, for example, the nanny. In this case, you should not replace it before the baby is at least a year old. This also applies to other significant adults: if a person is engaged and more often than others in contact with a child, there is no need to entrust the care of him to another. If possible, you should try to maintain the stability of the contact.

• Contact. To establish a strong and healthy relationship with a child, it is important to contact him both emotionally and physically. The emotional reaction of the mother, open and understandable to the baby, accompanied by gentle touches, is the key to the formation of strong and reliable relationships. This is not about indulging whims, but about adequately responding to the needs of the crumbs. He needs the warmth of mother's hands, hugs and affection, cheering and squeezing, smiles and tender words. All this is the basis of a happy childhood and harmonious development baby.
• Sensitivity is expressed in the reaction of the mother to any signal from the baby. In support of his initiatives and aspirations. Each mother intuitively, internally understands her child, knows what her baby wants and how to act in a given situation. Here it is important to remember that in matters of mutual understanding and response, one should rely on one's inner feeling, and not appeal to reason. Trust and self-confidence is the only thing a mother needs in contact with a baby. This does not apply, of course, to issues of care and health. In these moments, the opinion and knowledge of specialists is undeniable.

A 2-year-old girl constantly cries when her mother leaves their home. And when her mother returns, the girl, although she rejoices at her, can also cry, angrily reprimanding her mother for leaving. At a consultation with a psychologist, the mother asks what is happening with the child, why does the daughter cry every time she parted with her mother?

To understand what is going on with two year old, when separated from the mother, even if she parted with the baby for a short time, we turn to the most important psychological education - the emotional attachment of the child to the mother.

Attachment is formed gradually. Infants over 6 months old begin to show obvious attachment to certain people. Usually, though not always, it is the mother who acts as the first object of affection. Within a month or two of showing signs of affection for their mother, most children begin to show affection for their father, siblings, and grandparents.

What are the signs of affection? The attachment of a child is manifested in the following: the object of affection can calm and comfort the baby better than others; the baby more often than others, turns to him for consolation; in the presence of an object of attachment, the baby is less likely to experience fear (for example, in an unfamiliar environment).

Attachment has a certain value for the child in terms of self-preservation. First of all, it gives the child a sense of security in the development of the surrounding world, a collision with the new and unknown. Attachment manifests itself most vividly in a baby in a situation where he experiences fear. The child may not pay attention to the parents and willingly play with a stranger(provided that someone close is nearby), but as soon as the child is scared or excited by something, he will immediately turn to his mother or father for support.

With the help of the attachment object, the child also assesses the degree of danger of the new situation. For example, a baby approaching an unfamiliar bright toy stops and looks at the mother. If anxiety is reflected on her face, or she says something in a frightened voice, the child will also show alertness and. turning away from the toy, crawl to the mother. But, if the mother smiles or turns to the baby in an encouraging tone, he will again go to the toy.

Parental behavior and attachment
Although infants seem to have an innate ability to experience emotional attachment, the choice of object and the strength and quality of attachment depend to a large extent on the behavior of the parents towards the child.

What is most important in the relationship between parents and a child for the development of attachment? First of all, it is the ability of an adult to feel and respond to any signals of the child, whether it be a look, smile, cry or babble. Usually, children become attached to their parents, who quickly and positively respond to the initiative shown by the child, enter into communication and interaction with him, corresponding to cognitive abilities and mood of the child. To illustrate, consider two situations.

Petya, a boy of one and a half years old, plays on the floor with toys. The mother finishes the housework, approaches the child and watches him play. "What a beautiful car and cubes. You got a real garage, well done Petya!" mother says. Petya smiles and continues to play. Mom picks up a book and starts reading. Several minutes passed. Petya takes a children's book, approaches his mother, and tries to climb onto her lap. The mother puts the baby on her lap, puts down her book and says: "Do you want me to read this book to you?" Petya answers "yes", the mother begins to read.

Another two-year-old boy, Sasha, plays with toys. Having finished his business, the mother tells him: "Come to me, I will read you an interesting book." Sasha turns around, but does not go up to his mother, but continues to enthusiastically roll the car. The mother comes up to her son and takes her in her arms and says: "Let's read." Sasha breaks free and protests. His mother releases him and Sasha returns to his toys. Later, after finishing the game, Sasha takes the children's book and approaches his mother, trying to get on her knees. "No," says the mother, "you didn't want to read when I offered you, and now I'm busy."

In the first situation, the mother was responsive and attentive to the child, she was guided by his needs (she gave him the opportunity to finish playing the game), sensitively reacted to the child's initiative (a request to read a book).

In the second situation, the mother is more inclined to "adjust the child for herself", regardless of his needs and desires.

Psychologists have established that necessary qualities, contributing to the development of a child's attachment to mother or father are their warmth, gentleness, tenderness in relations with the child, encouragement and emotional support. Parents, to whom children are strongly attached, when giving instructions to the child, pronounce them softly with warmth, often praise the child, approve of his actions.

Depending on the behavior of the parents, the characteristics of their interaction and communication with the child, the baby develops a certain type of attachment to the father and mother.

The most popular method for assessing the quality of a child's attachment to an adult was the experiment of the American psychologist Mary Ainsworth. This experiment was called "Unfamiliar Situation" and consists of several three-minute episodes during which the child is left alone in an unfamiliar environment, alone with an unfamiliar adult, an unfamiliar adult and mother. The key episodes are when the mother leaves the child first with a stranger, then alone. A few minutes later, the mother returns to the baby. The nature of the child's attachment to the mother is judged on the basis of the degree of distress of the baby after the departure of the mother and the behavior of the child after her return.

As a result of the study, three groups of children were identified. Children who were not very upset after the mother left, entered into communication with a stranger and explored the new room (for example, playing with toys), and when the mother returned, rejoiced and were drawn to her, were called "securely attached." Children who did not mind the departure of their mother and continued to play, not paying attention to her return, were called "indifferent, insecurely attached." And the children of the third group, who were very upset after the departure of the mother, and when she returned, as if they were striving for her, clinging, but immediately repulsed and angry, were called "affective, insecurely attached."

Subsequent studies have shown that the type of child's attachment to parents affects the further mental and personal development child. The most favorable for development is a secure attachment. The reliable attachment of a child to his mother in the first years of life lays the foundation for a sense of security and trust in the world around him. Such children already in early childhood show sociability, ingenuity, ingenuity in games. in preschool and adolescence they demonstrate leadership traits, are distinguished by initiative, responsiveness, sympathy, and are popular among their peers.

Children with no secure attachment(affective, ambivalent and indifferent, avoidant) are often more dependent, require more attention from adults, their behavior is unstable and contradictory compared to children with secure attachment.

How does attachment, established in early childhood, affect the behavior of the child in the future?

In the process of repeated interactions with the mother and other relatives, the child develops the so-called "working models of himself and other people." In the future, they help him navigate new situations, interpret them and respond appropriately. Attentive, sensitive, caring parents form in the child a sense of basic trust in the world, a positive working model of others is created. Disharmonious relationships, which are characterized by insensitivity to the initiative, disregard for the interests of the child, an obsessive style of relationships, on the contrary, lead to the formation of a negative working model. Using the example of relationships with parents, the child is convinced that other people, like parents, are not reliable, predictable partners who can be trusted. The result of interaction and communication with parents is also a "working model of yourself." With a positive model, the child develops initiative, independence, confidence and self-respect, and with a negative model, passivity, dependence on others, a distorted image of the Self.

From the point of view of the famous American psychologist P. Crittenden, in order to understand how attachments are formed, it is important to take into account the predominant type of processing and integration of information by the child.

Ways of processing information: affective (emotional) or cognitive (mental) determine the strategies of the child's behavior in relation to loved ones. If an adult responds adequately to the child's initiatives and feelings, the child's behavior is "fixed" and will be reproduced in a similar situation. In cases where the child's manifestations are rejected or cause unpleasant consequences for him, the behavior receives negative reinforcement and will subsequently be hidden. Such a child will avoid open expression of his emotions and needs, as if hiding his state, experiences, his affection is "avoidant". Children who are in one year old showed an "avoidant" type of attachment, usually had an experience of rejection by the mother when trying to emotional, affective interaction with her. Such a mother rarely takes the child in her arms, does not show tenderness, pushes him away when trying to hug and caress. If the baby protests against such behavior of the mother, then her anger at the child is added to the rejection. So the baby learns that the results of emotional manifestations, love towards the mother can cause unpredictable and dangerous consequences, and learns to be restrained.

In the case when the mother does not accept the child, but demonstrates positive emotions in response to his behavior, i.e. her affective reactions are insincere, it is even more difficult for a child to foresee the consequences of her emotional manifestations. Such parents first confirm the need for intimacy and contact with the child, but as soon as he reciprocates them, they reject contact.

Some mothers are sincere but inconsistent in their emotional interaction with the child. They are sometimes overly sensitive, sometimes cold and inaccessible to the child. The inability to predict their behavior causes the infant to react with anxiety and anger. From the point of view of learning theory, the child of such a mother finds herself in a situation of unpredictable, indefinite reinforcement, which only reinforces the behavior even with possible negative consequences for the child. By about 9 months, the infant can already focus the expression of his experiences on another person, so anger becomes aggression directed at the object of affection. Fear and desire for emotional intimacy (need for love) also become "emotions" directed at the other. But without a definite and stable strategy for the behavior of others, the child's behavior remains disorganized and anxiously ambivalent.

Thus, by the end of infancy, children with a "confident" type of attachment have acquired many means of communication. They use both intellect and affect, a variety of emotions. They develop an internal model that integrates information from both sources and patterns of behavior that maximize the safety and comfort of the child. "Avoidant" children learn to organize their behavior without the use of affective signals, they use mostly intellectual information. The emotional behavior of "anxious, ambivalent children is reinforced, but they do not learn the intellectual organization of behavior that could compensate for the inconsistency of their mothers. They do not trust intellectual information and use mainly affective information. Thus, differences in the ways of integration in various types attachment can be explained by the nature of the child's individual experience in his interpersonal relationship with his mother.

Attachment to loved ones formed in the first years of life is quite stable. Most children show this same type of attachment in school age in contact with peers. In adult life in interpersonal relationships one can also see the characteristic features of primary attachment. With a certain degree of conventionality, we can talk about the types, quality of attachment in adults. Thus, relationships that are established with persons of the opposite sex, as well as attitudes towards elderly parents, can be defined as reliable, ambivalent and avoidant. The first type is characterized a good relationship between parents and adult children, based on trust, understanding, and help to parents. At the same time, children have a reliable attachment to their parents in the first years of life. In the case of the second type, adults remember their parents only when they get sick. At an early age, they have a dual, affective attachment. In the third type, adult children have almost no relationship with their parents and do not remember them. In early childhood, they are characterized by insecure attachment of the avoidant type.

The impact of differences in attachment quality on adult romantic interpersonal relationships has been studied by American psychologists. The subjects in this study were participants in a newspaper survey. The type of attachment was determined by the category in which the readers of the newspaper classified themselves, assessing their relationships with people. It was proposed to answer questions concerning the most significant love in life. Additional questions were asked about how their love had developed over time and about childhood memories of relationships with and between parents.

The results of the study showed that there is a kind of continuity of emotional and behavioral patterns: the early style of attachment to the mother, as a rule, is transferred to the romantic interpersonal relationships of adults. So, secure attachment was associated with the experience of happiness, friendship and trust, avoidant style - with fear of intimacy, emotional ups and downs, as well as jealousy. And the affective - dual attachment to the mother in childhood corresponded to the obsessive preoccupation with a loved one, the desire for a close union, sexual passion, emotional extremes and jealousy. In addition, these three groups differed in their views on love, i.e. mental models of romantic relationships. People with secure attachments viewed love feelings as something relatively stable, but also fading and fading, and were skeptical of the romantic stories depicted in novels and movies in which they lose their head from love. Those who avoided close attachment in love relationships were skeptical about the durability of romantic relationships and believed that it was very rare to find a person to fall in love with. Respondents with affective-ambivalent attachment believed that falling in love is easy, but it is difficult to find true love. In addition, securely attached adults, compared with the other two groups, reported warmer relationships with both parents, as well as warmer relationships between parents.

A study conducted with college students confirmed the nature of these relationships, and also made it possible to establish that the differences relate to how the representatives of these three groups describe themselves. Young people with secure attachment felt that they were easy to communicate with and most of those around them sympathized with, while those with affective, ambivalent attachment described themselves as people who were insecure, often misunderstood and underestimated. Close to these latter were the responses of avoidant students.

Further research has shown that early childhood attachment style has a very wide impact on a person's relationships with other people, and is also associated with his attitude to work. Adults with a secure attachment style feel confident at work, are not afraid to make mistakes, and don't let personal relationships get in the way of work. With anxious dual attachment, people showed a greater dependence on praise, a fear of rejection, and, in addition, they allowed personal relationships to affect their activities. Attachment avoidant adults use work to avoid social interactions. Even when they are doing well financially, they are less satisfied with their jobs than people with a secure, confident attachment style.

AT recent times researchers identify another type of attachment - rejecting emotional intimacy. Individuals with this attachment pattern feel uncomfortable in establishing close relationships and prefer not to depend on others, but still maintain a positive self-image.

Despite convincing data on the stability of attachment style, there is evidence that it can change depending on life circumstances. In addition, the same person may have multiple attachment patterns: one with men, another with women, or one for some situations and one for others.

Returning to the appeal to the psychologist of the mother and daughter early age, with which this article began, you can answer the questions posed in this way. The girl developed an insecure dual attachment to her mother. Apparently, the mother was not sensitive enough, attentive to her daughter in the first year of life. In interaction with her, she did not always positively respond to the child's initiative, did not seek to calm her down if the baby was crying, did not always respond to a smile and babble, played little. That is why the girl did not develop confidence in her mother's positive attitude towards herself, in the fact that she needs her, is loved. When parting with mom, even for a short time the girl is crying, as if she is not sure if her mother will return to her. Psychologists say that the child in such a case does not have a basic trust in the world, and relationships with other people, as well as with his mother, seem unsafe to him. How can insecure attachment be corrected? As a rule, this requires qualified psychological assistance. However general advice- be attentive to the needs of your child, take into account his interests, accept him as he is and express your love and affection to him more often.

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Bowlby's attachment theory (Bowlby, 1975) describes the development and differentiation of emotions in their social function; on the other hand, it explains how affective attachment between adults should be viewed in terms of the emotional repertoire developed in childhood. This development is usually divided into three successive phases during which learning takes place. attachment, search behavior and reproductive behavior.For the latter, emotions such as attraction, passion, as well as care and tolerance are decisive, as shown in Table. 41.2.1.

The main thesis of this concept is that intimacy in this third adult phase emerges undisturbed and can only develop if confiding attachment has been established in the first phase and exploratory behavior has been developed in the second phase. If this did not happen, then the individual is not sure of his attachment behavior, and Bowlby distinguishes depending on the type of developmental disorder anxious attachment, obsessive desire for independence, overprotectiveness and emotional isolation. Such patterns of behavior are developed especially in complementary partners. It leads to concept of tacit agreement(collisions) Willi (Willi, 1975). She argues that partners choose each other based on matching emotional profiles that have a positive effect primarily on mutual exchange (see above section on diagnostics) - each of the partners gives something to the other and takes something from him, but which , however, can in the long run make the relationship conflict. In the favorable case, some kind of complementarity of needs arises, and in the case of conflict, the expectations of one or both partners may be excessive.

As an example, consider a marital system in which one of the partners has a depressive personality (Feldmann, 1976). For example, his partner may act as a helper, which will only reinforce his feelings of helplessness. The depressed partner will attempt to devalue this help through passive-aggressive behavior that will naturally elicit criticism from the helping partner, which will negatively impact the depressed partner's erratic sense of self-worth and prompt new requests for help from the partner. A similar case with a woman suffering from agoraphobia is described by Hafner (Häfner, 1977). Next to her was her husband, who seemed indispensable in his role as a protector, behind whom she felt like "behind a stone wall." However, with this behavior, he only supported his wife's anxiety and did not allow her to take the initiative, while she limited herself to exerting influence, using her symptoms. In both of these examples of relationships, attention is drawn to the presence of a closed causal relationship between the behaviors of both partners.

Often held empirical research choosing a partner according to the complementary principle and most often with a negative result. Simple complementarity, such as dominance/submissiveness, hardly exists. True, the question arises whether this is not about the structures of needs that are available for their identification with the help of questionnaires due to their unconsciousness, and whether such complementarity in certain phases of life is more effective than in others. Thus, Kerkhoff and Davis (1962) postulated that it is rather the same interests and the same social background that play a role at the beginning of a relationship, and that complementary needs become significant later. However, if all age periods are taken into account, only weak relationships are found. Many typologies of relationships from clinical casuistry that are complementary in nature have been analyzed by Reiter (Reiter, 1983). However, we cannot dwell on them here.

Girls, there is an Arch-Important Theme about the attachment of our babies to us in infancy and its impact on their entire subsequent life! This article is very accessible and clearly illuminates this issue! Read it - you won't regret it!!!
“A 2-year-old girl constantly cries when her mother leaves home. And when her mother returns, the girl, although she is happy with her, may cry, angrily reprimanding her mother for leaving. At a consultation with a psychologist, her mother asks what is happening with a child, why does the daughter cry every time she parted with her mother?

In order to understand what happens to a two-year-old child, when separated from his mother, even if she parted with the baby for a short time, let's turn to the most important psychological education - the emotional attachment of the child to the mother.

Attachment is formed gradually. Infants over 6 months old begin to show obvious attachment to certain people. Usually, though not always, it is the mother who acts as the first object of affection. Within a month or two of showing signs of affection for their mother, most children begin to show affection for their father, siblings, and grandparents.

What are the signs of affection? The attachment of a child is manifested in the following: the object of affection can calm and comfort the baby better than others; the baby more often than others, turns to him for consolation; in the presence of an object of attachment, the baby is less likely to experience fear (for example, in an unfamiliar environment).

Attachment has a certain value for the child in terms of self-preservation. First of all, it gives the child a sense of security in the development of the surrounding world, a collision with the new and unknown. Attachment manifests itself most vividly in a baby in a situation where he experiences fear. A child may not pay attention to his parents and willingly play with a stranger (provided that there is someone close to him), but as soon as the child is frightened or excited by something, he will immediately turn to his mother or father for support.

With the help of the attachment object, the child also assesses the degree of danger of the new situation. For example, a baby approaching an unfamiliar bright toy stops and looks at the mother. If anxiety is reflected on her face, or she says something in a frightened voice, the child will also show alertness and. turning away from the toy, crawl to the mother. But, if the mother smiles or turns to the baby in an encouraging tone, he will again go to the toy.

Parental behavior and attachment
Although infants seem to have an innate ability to experience emotional attachment, the choice of object and the strength and quality of attachment depend to a large extent on the behavior of the parents towards the child.

What is most important in the relationship between parents and a child for the development of attachment? First of all, it is the ability of an adult to feel and respond to any signals of the child, whether it be a look, smile, cry or babble. Usually, children become attached to parents who quickly and positively respond to the initiative shown by the child, enter into communication and interaction with him, corresponding to the cognitive abilities and mood of the child. To illustrate, consider two situations.

Petya, a boy of one and a half years old, plays on the floor with toys. The mother finishes the housework, approaches the child and watches him play. "What a beautiful car and cubes. You got a real garage, well done Petya!" mother says. Petya smiles and continues to play. Mom picks up a book and starts reading. Several minutes passed. Petya takes a children's book, approaches his mother, and tries to climb onto her lap. The mother puts the baby on her lap, puts down her book and says: "Do you want me to read this book to you?" Petya answers "yes", the mother begins to read.

Another two-year-old boy, Sasha, plays with toys. Having finished his business, the mother tells him: "Come to me, I will read you an interesting book." Sasha turns around, but does not go up to his mother, but continues to enthusiastically roll the car. The mother comes up to her son and takes her in her arms and says: "Let's read." Sasha breaks free and protests. His mother releases him and Sasha returns to his toys. Later, after finishing the game, Sasha takes the children's book and approaches his mother, trying to get on her knees. "No," says the mother, "you didn't want to read when I offered you, and now I'm busy."

In the first situation, the mother was responsive and attentive to the child, she was guided by his needs (she gave him the opportunity to finish playing the game), sensitively reacted to the child's initiative (a request to read a book).

In the second situation, the mother is more inclined to "adjust the child for herself", regardless of his needs and desires.

Psychologists have found that the necessary qualities that contribute to the development of a child's attachment to a mother or father are their warmth, gentleness, tenderness in relations with the child, encouragement and emotional support. Parents, to whom children are strongly attached, when giving instructions to the child, pronounce them softly with warmth, often praise the child, approve of his actions.

Depending on the behavior of the parents, the characteristics of their interaction and communication with the child, the baby develops a certain type of attachment to the father and mother.

The most popular method for assessing the quality of a child's attachment to an adult was the experiment of the American psychologist Mary Ainsworth. This experiment was called "Unfamiliar Situation" and consists of several three-minute episodes during which the child is left alone in an unfamiliar environment, alone with an unfamiliar adult, an unfamiliar adult and mother. The key episodes are when the mother leaves the child first with a stranger, then alone. A few minutes later, the mother returns to the baby. The nature of the child's attachment to the mother is judged on the basis of the degree of distress of the baby after the departure of the mother and the behavior of the child after her return.

As a result of the study, three groups of children were identified. Children who were not very upset after the mother left, entered into communication with a stranger and explored the new room (for example, playing with toys), and when the mother returned, rejoiced and were drawn to her, were called "securely attached." Children who did not mind the departure of their mother and continued to play, not paying attention to her return, were called "indifferent, insecurely attached." And the children of the third group, who were very upset after the departure of the mother, and when she returned, as if they were striving for her, clinging, but immediately repulsed and angry, were called "affective, insecurely attached."

Subsequent studies have shown that the type of child's attachment to parents affects the further mental and personal development of the child. The most favorable for development is a secure attachment. The reliable attachment of a child to his mother in the first years of life lays the foundation for a sense of security and trust in the world around him. Such children already in early childhood show sociability, ingenuity, ingenuity in games. In preschool and adolescence, they demonstrate leadership traits, are distinguished by initiative, responsiveness, sympathy, and are popular among their peers.

Children with insecure attachment (affective, ambivalent and indifferent, avoidant) are often more dependent, require more attention from adults, their behavior is unstable and contradictory compared to children with secure attachment.

How does attachment, established in early childhood, affect the behavior of the child in the future?

In the process of repeated interactions with the mother and other relatives, the child develops the so-called "working models of himself and other people." In the future, they help him navigate new situations, interpret them and respond appropriately. Attentive, sensitive, caring parents form in the child a sense of basic trust in the world, a positive working model of others is created. Disharmonious relationships, which are characterized by insensitivity to the initiative, disregard for the interests of the child, an obsessive style of relationships, on the contrary, lead to the formation of a negative working model. Using the example of relationships with parents, the child is convinced that other people, like parents, are not reliable, predictable partners who can be trusted. The result of interaction and communication with parents is also a "working model of yourself." With a positive model, the child develops initiative, independence, confidence and self-respect, and with a negative model, passivity, dependence on others, a distorted image of the Self.

From the point of view of the famous American psychologist P. Crittenden, in order to understand how attachments are formed, it is important to take into account the predominant type of processing and integration of information by the child.

Ways of processing information: affective (emotional) or cognitive (mental) determine the strategies of the child's behavior in relation to loved ones. If an adult responds adequately to the child's initiatives and feelings, the child's behavior is "fixed" and will be reproduced in a similar situation. In cases where the child's manifestations are rejected or cause unpleasant consequences for him, the behavior receives negative reinforcement and will subsequently be hidden. Such a child will avoid open expression of his emotions and needs, as if hiding his state, experiences, his affection is "avoidant". Children who at the age of one showed an "avoidant" type of attachment usually had an experience of rejection by their mother when they tried to interact emotionally, affectively with her. Such a mother rarely takes the child in her arms, does not show tenderness, pushes him away when trying to hug and caress. If the baby protests against such behavior of the mother, then her anger at the child is added to the rejection. So the baby learns that the results of emotional manifestations, love towards the mother can cause unpredictable and dangerous consequences, and learns to be restrained.

In the case when the mother does not accept the child, but demonstrates positive emotions in response to his behavior, i.e. her affective reactions are insincere, it is even more difficult for a child to foresee the consequences of her emotional manifestations. Such parents first confirm the need for intimacy and contact with the child, but as soon as he reciprocates them, they reject contact.

Some mothers are sincere but inconsistent in their emotional interaction with the child. They are sometimes overly sensitive, sometimes cold and inaccessible to the child. The inability to predict their behavior causes the infant to react with anxiety and anger. From the point of view of learning theory, the child of such a mother finds herself in a situation of unpredictable, indefinite reinforcement, which only reinforces the behavior even with possible negative consequences for the child. By about 9 months, the infant can already focus the expression of his experiences on another person, so anger becomes aggression directed at the object of affection. Fear and desire for emotional intimacy (need for love) also become "emotions" directed at the other. But without a definite and stable strategy for the behavior of others, the child's behavior remains disorganized and anxiously ambivalent.

Thus, by the end of infancy, children with a "confident" type of attachment have acquired many means of communication. They use both intellect and affect, a variety of emotions. They develop an internal model that integrates information from both sources and patterns of behavior that maximize the safety and comfort of the child. "Avoidant" children learn to organize their behavior without the use of affective signals, they use mostly intellectual information. The emotional behavior of “anxious, ambivalent children is reinforced, but they do not learn the intellectual organization of behavior that could compensate for the inconsistency of their mothers. They do not trust intellectual information and use predominantly affective information. individual experience of the child in his interpersonal relationship with his mother.

Attachment to loved ones formed in the first years of life is quite stable. Most children show this same type of attachment at school age in contact with peers. In adult life, interpersonal relationships can also be seen as characteristic features of primary attachment. With a certain degree of conventionality, we can talk about the types, quality of attachment in adults. Thus, relationships that are established with persons of the opposite sex, as well as attitudes towards elderly parents, can be defined as reliable, ambivalent and avoidant. The first type is characterized by good relations between parents and adult children, based on trust, understanding, and help to parents. At the same time, children have a reliable attachment to their parents in the first years of life. In the case of the second type, adults remember their parents only when they get sick. At an early age, they have a dual, affective attachment. In the third type, adult children have almost no relationship with their parents and do not remember them. In early childhood, they are characterized by insecure attachment of the avoidant type.

The impact of differences in attachment quality on adult romantic interpersonal relationships has been studied by American psychologists. The subjects in this study were participants in a newspaper survey. The type of attachment was determined by the category in which the readers of the newspaper classified themselves, assessing their relationships with people. It was proposed to answer questions concerning the most significant love in life. Additional questions were asked about how their love had developed over time and about childhood memories of relationships with and between parents.

The results of the study showed that there is a kind of continuity of emotional and behavioral patterns: the early style of attachment to the mother, as a rule, is transferred to the romantic interpersonal relationships of adults. So, secure attachment was associated with the experience of happiness, friendship and trust, avoidant style - with fear of intimacy, emotional ups and downs, as well as jealousy. And the affective - dual attachment to the mother in childhood corresponded to the obsessive preoccupation with a loved one, the desire for a close union, sexual passion, emotional extremes and jealousy. In addition, these three groups differed in their views on love, i.e. mental models of romantic relationships. People with secure attachments viewed love feelings as something relatively stable, but also fading and fading, and were skeptical of the romantic stories depicted in novels and movies in which they lose their head from love. Those who avoided close attachment in love relationships were skeptical about the durability of romantic relationships and believed that it was very rare to find a person to fall in love with. Respondents with affective-ambivalent attachment believed that falling in love is easy, but it is difficult to find true love. In addition, securely attached adults, compared with the other two groups, reported warmer relationships with both parents, as well as warmer relationships between parents.

A study conducted with college students confirmed the nature of these relationships, and also made it possible to establish that the differences relate to how the representatives of these three groups describe themselves. Young people with secure attachment felt that they were easy to communicate with and most of those around them sympathized with, while those with affective, ambivalent attachment described themselves as people who were insecure, often misunderstood and underestimated. Close to these latter were the responses of avoidant students.

Further research has shown that early childhood attachment style has a very wide impact on a person's relationships with other people, and is also associated with his attitude to work. Adults with a secure attachment style feel confident at work, are not afraid to make mistakes, and don't let personal relationships get in the way of work. With anxious dual attachment, people showed a greater dependence on praise, a fear of rejection, and, in addition, they allowed personal relationships to affect their activities. Attachment avoidant adults use work to avoid social interactions. Even when they are doing well financially, they are less satisfied with their jobs than people with a secure, confident attachment style.

Recently, researchers have identified another type of attachment - rejecting emotional intimacy. Individuals with this attachment pattern feel uncomfortable in establishing close relationships and prefer not to depend on others, but still maintain a positive self-image.

Despite convincing data on the stability of attachment style, there is evidence that it can change depending on life circumstances. In addition, the same person may have multiple attachment patterns: one with men, another with women, or one for some situations and one for others.

Returning to the appeal to the psychologist of a mother with a daughter of an early age, from which this article began, one can answer the questions posed in this way. The girl developed an insecure dual attachment to her mother. Apparently, the mother was not sensitive enough, attentive to her daughter in the first year of life. In interaction with her, she did not always positively respond to the child's initiative, did not seek to calm her down if the baby was crying, did not always respond to a smile and babble, played little. That is why the girl did not develop confidence in her mother's positive attitude towards herself, in the fact that she needs her, is loved. When parting with her mother, even for a short time, the girl cries, as if she is not sure whether her mother will return to her. Psychologists say that the child in such a case does not have a basic trust in the world, and relationships with other people, as well as with his mother, seem unsafe to him. How can insecure attachment be corrected? As a rule, this requires qualified psychological assistance. However, the general advice is to be attentive to the needs of your child, take into account his interests, accept him as he is, and express your love and affection to him more often.

Movement is life!!!

This work was supported by the Russian Humanitarian Science Foundation, project no. 96-03-04496.

The study of a child's attachment to his mother has been one of the leading directions in foreign experimental psychology over the past decades. In line with the ethological approach, the mother-child relationship was interpreted as a form of imprinting, evidence was obtained that the interaction of mother and newborn in the first hours after birth influence subsequent communication. In particular, it has been shown that the emotional bonds of the child with the mother are strengthened due to the presence of interaction in the first hours of the child's life, and the separation of mother and child during this period can lead to negative effects. However, other studies have not confirmed the establishment of specific emotional bonds between mother and newborn immediately after birth. H. R. Schaeffer drew attention to the fact that the newborn has certain biological mechanisms that underlie the need to establish an emotional connection with someone. A great contribution to the solution of this problem was made by the English psychiatrist J. Bowlby with his theory of attachments, according to which attachments to mother, father or someone else are not innate or the result of early learning (imprinting). In his opinion, some forms of infant behavior are innate, capable of forcing others to be near him and take care of him. It is cooing, smiling and crawling towards the adult. From an evolutionary point of view, these forms are adaptive in that they provide the infant with the care it needs to survive.

J. Bowlby considers the main result of the interaction between the mother and the baby to be the appearance of an emotional attachment in the baby, which makes the child crave the presence of the mother, her affection, especially if he is alarmed or frightened. In the first 6 months. infant attachments are diffuse; after that, attachment to certain people begins to manifest itself clearly, usually the first object of affection is the mother.

The formation of such attachment is vital for the development of the child,. It gives him a sense of security, contributes to the development of his self-image and socialization,. The choice of an object, as well as the strength and quality of attachment, largely depend on the behavior of the parents in relation to the child,,.

In domestic psychology, the study of a child's attachment to an adult was carried out within the framework of the psychology of communication, in line with the concept of M.I. Lisina. The selective attachments of a child to an adult were considered as a product of communication, depending on its content,. In the work of S.Yu. Meshcheryakova, the development of the system of affective-personal relations of a child with an adult in the first year of life was studied. It was shown that these connections arise in the first half of a child's life in situational-personal communication and are the main psychological neoplasm of this age. Another most important product of communication, which also depends on the nature, content of communication, is the child's self-image,.

The purpose of this study was to establish a connection between a child's attachment to his mother and his self-image. The object of the study was a mother-child couple. The objectives of the study included: studying the child's self-image, such as his attachment to the mother, the mother's self-image, her ideas about the child, as well as the mother's assessment of her attachment to the child and his attachment to her.

Thus, in the mother-child pair, the psychological characteristics of both partners were studied in order to identify additional (in addition to the content of interaction and communication) parameters that affect the development of the child's self-image and his attachment to the mother.

The study used four groups of methods aimed at studying: 1) the child's self-image, 2) the type of affective attachment of the child to the mother, 3) the mother's self-image, 4) the mother's idea of ​​her child. The child's self-image was revealed by recording the child's behavior in front of a mirror in five different situations. In the first situation, the child’s free behavior in front of a mirror was recorded; in the second, before the start of the experiment, a colored handkerchief with a bright pattern was put on the child’s head; in the third, shiny beads; in the fourth situation, the mother approached him from behind; a bright unfamiliar toy reflected in the mirror. The mirror reflected the head and torso of the child, the head and top part mother's body. The duration of one experiment was 3 min.

To assess the attachment of the child to the mother, a modified method by M. Ainsworth was used. The experiment studied the child's behavior in an unusual situation, when separated from the mother, the degree of impact of such a situation and how easily the mother managed to calm the baby after mild stress, how the child's cognitive activity changed under these conditions. The experiment consisted of seven three-minute episodes, during which the child's behavior was recorded: emotional manifestations, vocalizations, and actions (orienting-exploratory, playful, initiative).

As an attractive toy, a brightly colored clown mask was used, and as a frightening toy, an unusually shaped controlled machine with retractable parts that makes a buzzing noise when working. The key episodes are Nos. 2, 3, 6 and 7 (Table 1), when the mother leaves the child with an unfamiliar adult, an unfamiliar adult and a frightening toy, and then returns. As indicators of the child's attachment to the mother, the degree of distress of the baby after the mother's departure and the behavior of the child after her return are used.

Table 1

Episodes of an unusual situation

No. p / p	Episode start	Present during the episode
	An unfamiliar adult joins the mother and child in the room	Mother, child and unfamiliar adult
	Mother leaves the room	Child and unfamiliar adult
	The mother returns to the room, the unfamiliar adult leaves	child and mother
	The mother leaves, the unfamiliar adult returns with a bright attractive new toy for the child.	A child, an unfamiliar adult, and an attractive toy
	The unfamiliar adult leaves, the mother returns to the room	Child, mother and attractive toy
	The mother leaves, an unfamiliar adult returns to the room with a frightening toy	A child, an unfamiliar adult and a frightening toy
	Unfamiliar adult leaves, mother comes	Child, mother and scary toy

The self-image was revealed in the mother using a standardized interview, including questions related to general and specific self-esteem, maternal competence, satisfaction with external appearance, the degree of identification with the child and close relatives, the experience of similarity or difference from other people.

The mother's idea of ​​her child was assessed according to the questionnaire data. The questionnaire contained questions aimed at identifying the mother's ideas about the abilities, capabilities of her child, personality traits, character, strengths and weaknesses. In addition, data were obtained on her orientation mainly on caring for a child or creating conditions for the development of his skills, abilities, personality, as well as the value orientations of upbringing, problems and difficulties in relationships with the child, the mother's assessment of the degree of her attachment to the child and that the extent to which the child himself is attached to her and other close people.

In an experimental study of the child's self-image in experiments with mirror image various mental manifestations of children were recorded: gaze characteristics (direction, duration), emotional manifestations (quantity, addressing, duration and intensity), vocalizations (similar indicators), as well as behavior in front of a mirror (directed at oneself or at a mirror). All quantitative data were converted into arbitrary units obtained by multiplying the quantity by duration and intensity, adding products, calculating the arithmetic mean for all samples. The behavioral manifestations of children were evaluated in a similar way in experiments aimed at studying the child's attachment to his mother.

Processing of data from a standardized interview and a questionnaire survey of mothers was carried out by scoring according to pre-designed scales in order to assess the indicators of the mother's image of herself and the indicators of the mother's idea of ​​her child. This made it possible to use the method of correlation analysis to establish pair correlations between the level of development of the child's self-image and the level of development of the mother's self-image, her idea of ​​the child, the assessment of her attachment to the child and the assessment of his attachment to himself.

Eight couples (mother-child) from complete families took part in the experiments, the age of the children ranged from 14 to 18 months.

The total quantitative indicators of the child's self-image, the mother's self-image, and the mother's idea of ​​the child are presented in Table. 2.

table 2

Total indicators of the child's self-image, the mother's self-image, the mother's idea of ​​the child

pair number	Child's self-image	Mother's self-image	Mother's perceptions of the child	for each of the eight mother-child pairs

When analyzing the table, first of all, attention is drawn to the spread of indicators of the child's self-image from 121-125 points in the upper limit to 34 in the lower, with the minimum severity of the self-image in this sample. The scatter of indicators of the mother's image of herself and the mother's idea of ​​her child is not so pronounced, but even here the maximum values ​​are more than 2 times higher than the minimum severity of the indicators.

A qualitative analysis of the child's behavior in front of a mirror in various situations indicates opposite types of behavior for children with high quantitative indicators of self-image and low, minimal indicators.

Children with a developed image of themselves look at themselves in a mirror for a long time, often smile at their reflection, play with it, put on and take off a scarf and beads, show off in front of a mirror.

Children with an unformed image of themselves, on the contrary, do not look at themselves in the mirror, throwing only short wary glances at their reflection, smile only in the test, where the reflection of the mother and child is visible in the mirror, and a brighter smile is addressed to the reflection of the mother. Children in this group quickly remove the handkerchief from their heads, throw it on the floor or give it to their mother, without trying it on again and without going to the mirror. Beads turn out to be attractive to them in themselves, like an interesting object with which they play for some time, taking it off their necks, waving and tapping, move away from the mirror and never return to it.

A qualitative analysis of the mother's self-image also reveals two poles, one of which is mothers with low overall self-esteem, who perceive themselves as not very happy, lucky, capable, good mothers and housewives looking to the future with optimism. Life brings them more grief than joy, and they are ready for the worst, relying on chance and luck. Mothers with high overall self-image scores have high overall self-esteem, evaluating themselves as happy, prosperous, satisfied with themselves, their motherhood, their parental competence. They are more self-confident, look to the future with optimism, strive to plan their lives to control the events taking place in it.

A qualitative picture of how mothers think about their children also contains two different types for high and low quantitative indicators. High indicators correspond to a focus on the personal qualities of the child, his achievements, especially in the socio-emotional sphere, a positive assessment of new skills and abilities of the baby. The mothers of this group say that the child becomes more interesting as he grows and develops. They also ask a lot of questions about how to create best conditions for the development of the child.

On the contrary, low indicators of the maternal idea of ​​the child correspond to the focus mainly on child care, in the first place, as positive changes in development, skills and abilities are noted (drinks from a cup, knows how to put on panties, etc.), and not personal qualities ( inquisitive, interested in books, plays well and sympathizes with me if I'm upset, etc.). Speaking about the development of the child, the mothers of this group focus on the increase in difficulties in interactions with the child (“it was better when I was little and slept in the stroller all day, but now it climbs everywhere, interferes with doing things”), note more negative than positive changes in his personality, character (“he became stubborn, insists on his own, screams, demands”).

Data on the level of development of the child's self-image showed a correlation between both the level of development of the mother's self-image and her idea of ​​the child. The corresponding correlation coefficients are presented in table. 3.

Table 3

Indicators of the correlation of the child's self-image with the mother's self-image and the mother's idea of ​​the child for eight mother-child pairs

Compared results	Mother's self-image Mother's conception of the child
	rs	R	rs	R
Child's self-image	0,78	<0,02	0,95	<0,02

Analysis of the table. 3 shows that the child’s self-image depends to the greatest extent on the mother’s idea of ​​him, as well as on the mother’s self-image: the higher the mother’s self-image and her child’s self-image, the higher the child’s self-image indicators.

Quantitative indicators of the type of affective attachment of the child to the mother are presented in Table. four.

Table 4

Indicators of the affective attachment of the child to the mother (in arbitrary units) in episodes No. 2, 3, 6, 7

couples

Episode #2

Episode #3

Episode #6

Episode #7

Emotions

Vocalizations

Actions

Emotions

Vocalizations

Actions

Emotions

Vocalizations

Actions

Emotions

Vocalizations

Actions

1,43

Note. The “-” sign marks negative emotional manifestations.

Let's start by comparing the behavior of children in the episodes when the mother leaves the room and the child is left alone with an unfamiliar adult (No. 2), and then the unfamiliar adult leaves and the mother returns to the room (No. 3).

An analysis of the table shows that in episode 3, compared with episode 2, the activity of the children of the first, third, and fourth pairs decreases. At the same time, in the first and third couples, the high rates of positive emotional manifestations of children in episodes with an unfamiliar adult decrease to zero when he leaves the room and the mother returns. A qualitative analysis of the children's behavior shows that in the presence of the mother, the pe6enok begins to look for an unfamiliar adult: he runs to the door, calls him, knocks on the door with his hand.

Thus, the children of the first group in the presence of an unfamiliar adult behave more actively and joyfully than in the presence of their mother. In all other children, on the contrary, activity upon the return of the mother is higher, although different groups can be distinguished among them. Thus, children from the sixth and seventh pairs (the second group) show pronounced negative emotions in the presence of an unfamiliar adult, and when the mother returns, weakly expressed positive emotions and a low level of activity.

A qualitative analysis of the behavior of children indicates that in the presence of an unfamiliar adult, their activity is completely inhibited, they cry loudly, calling for their mother, and when she returns, most of the time the children sit, stand, clinging to their mother, climb onto her knees, hiding their faces . After persuasion, the children begin to play with the toys offered by the mother, smile weakly, and babble. However, their orienting-exploratory, initiative and play actions in the presence of their mother do not even reach the average level (two points).

The third group includes children from the second, fifth and eighth pairs. They significantly increase their activity when their mother returns and do not show negative emotions, remaining with an unfamiliar adult. In all three children of this group, in the presence of their mother, positive emotional manifestations and indicators of orienting-exploratory initiative and play actions intensify.

Qualitative analysis shows that these children are quite friendly and active in the presence of an unfamiliar adult: they smile, initiate him to communicate, examine the room, play with objects. However, activity increases significantly when the mother returns to the room: the child approaches her, initiates her to communication and play, smiles brightly and babbles. A child from the eighth pair, in the presence of an unfamiliar adult, shows minimal activity, and when the mother returns, she runs up to her, clings to her, climbs into her arms, after a while begins to perform research and play actions, smiles weakly, timidly, trying to stay closer to her mother.

Let's move on to comparing episodes 6 and 7 of the experiment. Consider indicators of children's behavior in a situation where the mother leaves the room, leaving the child with an unfamiliar adult and a frightening toy (episode No. 6), and then returns, and the unfamiliar adult leaves (episode No. 7). From Table. Figure 4 shows that the activity of all children in episode no. 6 in the presence of an unfamiliar adult and a frightening toy is significantly lower (more than 2 times) compared to episode no. 7, where the child and the frightening toy are in the presence of the mother who returned to the room. In episode 6, in a frightening situation, only one child from the second couple shows positive emotions.

Children from the sixth and seventh pairs show negative emotions (whining, loud crying), and the rest do not express bright emotions, with a general tendency to show alertness, a slight degree of anxiety. The children of the first, second and third couples have a weak activity, and all the other children show "fading", stopping all activity, stand still, not taking their eyes off the frightening toy. In the next episode No. 7, when an unfamiliar adult leaves the room and the mother returns, the activity of the children increases, the number of vocalizations increases, more than 2 times - the number of initiative, orienting-exploratory and play actions aimed at a frightening toy. A qualitative picture of children's behavior shows that in the presence of a mother, children cease to be afraid of an unfamiliar toy with unusual properties and begin to actively explore it, initiating the mother to explore the possibilities of the toy and play together.

Only the children from the seventh and eighth pairs show negative emotions in the presence of the mother, continuing to whimper, the children weakly initiate the mother to play, reluctantly explore the frightening toy, preferring to stay away from it, climb into the arms of the mother, not letting go until the end of the episode.

Assessment of attachments according to the method of M. Ainsworth involves the identification of three main groups of children. Children who were not very upset after the mother left, were drawn to her when she returned, and were easily calmed down, were called "securely attached." Children who did not mind the mother's departure and continued to play, not paying much attention to her return, were defined as "indifferent" and "insecurely attached." Finally, children who were very upset after their mother left, and when she returned, clung to her, but immediately repelled, were called "affective" and "insecurely attached." In accordance with this classification, the children from the first group (first, third and fourth pairs) are closest to indifferent and insecurely attached children when comparing episodes 2 and 3. Note that the behavior of these children does not completely coincide with the model of M. Ainsworth, since children are more active and more joyful in the presence of an unfamiliar adult compared to their mother. However, when comparing episodes 6 and 7, when a frightening toy is present in the situation, the children of this group examine it more actively, play in the presence of the mother, and not an outside adult, although they do not have close contact with the mother in episode 7 when she returns into the room. Children limit themselves to initiative actions, inviting their mother to play, drawing her attention to a frightening toy.

Children from the second group (sixth and seventh pairs) can be classified as affective and insecurely attached, according to the classification of M. Ainsworth, although they did not have such manifestations as pushing away the mother after her return. When comparing episodes 6 and 7, the child from the eighth pair, who cannot be calmed after the return of the mother, can be added to the children of this group.

The children from the second and fifth pairs are closest to those who are securely attached, who steadily increase their activity and show more positive emotions in the presence of their mother in episodes both #3 and #7.

When identifying the mother's image of herself and her idea of ​​the child, the mother's assessment of her attachment to the child and his attachment to her (on a three-point scale) was additionally studied. These assessments were compared with indicators of the child's self-image (Tables 5, 6) and the type of his attachment to his mother.

Table 5

Indicators of the child's self-image, such as his attachment to his mother, the mother's assessment of his attachment to the child and his attachment to her

pair number

Child's self-image

Type of attachment of the child to the mother