If you choose to raise your child as a leader, consider gender and create win and peer support situations for him if he is a boy. Praise and admire the beauty and grace if the child is a girl.

The issue of leadership does not depend on natural data, but on the knowledge put into the child's head by the parents. And the experience of generations confirms this. It often happens that for many years a person sat as a hero on the stove, did not touch anyone, did not climb anywhere. But it happened emergency, and he took over both power and responsibility for what was happening, easily solved the difficult problems over which yesterday's passionaries made a helpless gesture.

Child Leadership

Children, too, easily show their leadership qualities, if they are not disturbed and do not get it into their heads that "yes, you will not achieve anything with your character." Parents should remember that everyone can take a leading position, and you should not wave your hands ahead of time, you need to choose the right parenting strategy depending on the character and temperament of the child.

Two types of leadership

Did you know that there are two types of leadership?

Most likely, you only know well the first type of it, the most striking, charismatic - the so-called open leadership ("the first guy in the village", the soul of the company)... A person-organizer who said - and everyone obeys, they do, because they want to obey his power and charm.

The second type of leadership is more restrained, not always emotional, a kind of gray cardinal, who quietly and imperceptibly does not even give orders, but controls people so that they themselves offer to do what is needed and rush to perform after a slight nod.

The second type is in many ways more beneficial, since unobvious, not conspicuous leadership allows you to achieve results, and in the event of a mistake or failure, an offended crowd will tear apart a bright leader, while the gray cardinal will calmly sit further in his office. He will delete another unlucky hero from the list of contacts, that's all ... Not a bad tactic, if you think about it.

What about child leadership? Most parents realize that raising leaders from a boy and from a girl should be different. But often even adults do not understand exactly what the difference should be.

If you have a son

Take, for example, Mikhail Weller's The Adventures of Major Zvyagin, an incredibly motivating book. One of the chapters just tells how an inconspicuous boy falls in love with the first beauty of the class. Already at a student age, she accepts his advances without fanaticism, then she starts dating a richer guy - a graduate student with a car. And the boy says: "Leave me alone, I'm tired."

In the book, this "amoebic" young man, under the leadership of Major Zvyagin, is gradually becoming a popular guy every girl dreams of. Major for several months "pumps" an ordinary hard worker from a construction site, who did not enter anywhere, shy: he teaches to play the guitar, dress decently, and ski. The young man publishes a poem, composed by the collective mind of the Zvyagin family, and gets on a prestigious TV program, which is watched by everyone, including his passion.

In just three months, an ordinary guy collects those bonuses, with the help of which he becomes a popular young man. He dances beautifully, dresses well, has a lively conversation, argues, transmitting thoughts from smart books... He skillfully fights in front of his beloved, is great skiing, and he also has a fan with a car. And that's it, the image is formed, yesterday's touchy falls head over heels in love and agrees to get married.

Let's take a closer look at the artistic plot: the book clearly spells out the classic scheme of how a man from a construction worker and a loser without any special prospects becomes a desirable husband for a spoiled girl. And a similar scheme can be applied to any person in young age or even better - in childhood. A parent can become “Major Zvyagin” for his son and help him consistently follow the steps to success.

On this path, your son may also need the help of friends, but for friends to want to help, the child must already be an authority for them. And this authority is gained: either a person knows how to do something better than they, or he knows more; or in some situations he reacts competently, does not get lost, does not panic, but clearly says how and what we will do; or he has some unusual thoughts, knowledge, actions, and then the others look at him as a guru.

You need to think about what interests are suitable for his age, for his company, in what situation a child can demonstrate superiority, knowledge that other children do not have.

If you have a daughter

Once I read a curious episode how a girl, an ordinary schoolgirl, can be turned into the first beauty and clever girl. The teacher on the subject "Ethics and Psychology of Life" wanted to make an ordinary girl a super-beauty in the perception of classmates. After a lecture on gallantry and good manners, he put the girl on a chair and showed how to kiss a lady's hand correctly, using this girl as an example.

It was in grade 10, in September, and the whole academic year all the boys looked at this girl as the greatest beauty. Here is such a simple manipulation on the part of an adult - and the teacher has achieved that ordinary girl becomes a class superstar, although before that for nine years she felt like an ugly duckling. This example is very revealing.

I think you also noticed that the most beautiful and most popular girl is not the one who is really very beautiful, judging by some objective characteristics of the choice, and the one who behaves like the first beauty.

Therefore, if you want your daughter to feel like a queen, start talking to her about it, making compliments. Moreover, it is desirable that they are not done by a woman, although mother's praise will never hurt, but that the daughter would hear compliments and words of admiration from her father and other men: uncle, brother, grandfather.

The girl begins to get used to the fact that she likes it, because everyone tells her this, then she puts herself in a different way among her peers . Such a popular girl enters into adulthood not with a stupid feeling that every bit of attention needs to be paid somehow, or the guys give compliments only when they need something. She lives with the feeling that admiring attention to her is the norm.

Unfortunately, mothers raised by the Soviet system make a terrible mistake: they kill femininity and leadership in girls. For example, at my friend's daughter in the kindergarten, the boys took turns taking sleds. And she, like a princess, favorably accepted their signs of courting, they even fought, which of them would take her on this sled. And suddenly my mother began to be indignant and reprimand: “How are you behaving like that ?! You have to change places - he drove you, now you take him. "

When I heard this, I was amazed and asked: “What are you doing at all ?! Do you understand that your girl has a congenital female model behavior - men perform feats for her, in return they receive her admiration, gratitude, and this is a completely normal, adequate exchange.

What do you teach your child? Plow like a horse, no less than a man? Why are you doing it?!" Mom, naturally, was offended that I thought her model of equality was stupid. But in my eyes, a mother who kills her natural femininity in a girl is the enemy of her daughter. It is a huge mistake if she, fearing that her daughter will grow up frivolous, does not allow the girl to be beautiful and attractive easily, without effort.

Therefore, when it comes to teenage girls, think that beautiful clothes, the latest iPhone, going to model courses, or any other "cool" attributes adopted at this age are a valuable distinguishing feature for them. No, I do not urge this very second to remove the entire salary from the card and run to the boutique, dress the child in the latest Milan fashion.

This is a simple example of excellence on the scale of children's values. And no, it’s not dangerous. Fashions and the latest iPhone won't make your daughter selfish on their own - her upbringing, not the shoe brand, shapes her character. But in a children's and teenage environment, fashionable things give superiority, all other things being equal, and this is good.

And now for the pleasant: it is possible to possess signs of superiority, leadership qualities without material wealth. If your child is intellectually ahead of other children, they will listen to him. With intelligence, any object or occupation can be turned into an object of worship. Remember the scene from "Tom Sawyer" when the boys gave away all their valuables: glass beads, coins, a button, a dead cat in exchange for a unique opportunity - permission to paint aunt's fence?

If you choose to raise your child as a leader, consider gender and create win and peer support situations for him if he is a boy. Praise and admire the beauty and grace if the child is a girl. Your task as a parent is not just to buy him expensive things, but to determine the type and temperament of your daughter or son, and develop intellectually and emotionally. Then the child will begin to dominate his peers, learn to build relationships with adults. This will be the foundation of his future leadership in the adult world, and you will be able to raise bright, successful and happy personalities. Published.

Olga Yurkovskaya

If you have any questions, ask them

P.S. And remember, just by changing our consumption - together we are changing the world! © econet

Over the past ten to fifteen years, a lot has changed in our approach to parenting. Our parents were taught modesty and restraint: it was not customary to show off their talents or advertise their skills. Adults tried to instill in children these important elements of tact and delicacy. But along with political and social changes, new concepts have poured into our lives: a free market, competitiveness, the ability to survive in a new world. The authors of new books on parenting insist on the need to instill self-esteem and high self-esteem in children so that they confidently lead among their peers. Yes, we ourselves understand that in our time these qualities are integral elements of success, and we sincerely want to instill them in our children. Many parents do not seriously consider child leadership for the first time until their children reach preteen or even adolescence... But everything starts from the very birth!

The desire to lead is one of the manifestations of egocentrism, with which all healthy children are born. The challenge for elders is to help children find a delicate balance when self-esteem and self-esteem become important components of their emotional state, but do not drown out sound self-criticism and the desire for improvement. Leadership in a child should be cultivated from infancy - praised for success, encouraged when faced with obstacles, supported in times of failure, and shown trust by allowing the child to practice new skills. Do not forget that it is at home that the first and very important victories and defeats of the child take place. His ability to convince and arouse admiration, his ability to accept defeat or bitter news with dignity is laid and molded by his parents. This means that parents should not only enjoy with their child his victories, but also teach him how to play, without experiencing the feeling of tragic failure or shameful defeat.

Remember!

If parents dramatize every minor incident, then the child is likely to grow up anxious, insecure, uncomfortable as an orator, politician, or art creator. Any failure of the child, true or imaginary, should be supported by a proposal to try again, to correct the mistake. If your toddler has fallen down while taking his first steps, it is helpful to help him forget about the fear and take another step. Reassurance is an act of friendliness and concern, and should not be turned into an arbitrary order to try again now, into an insistent repetition of a parental order, into a threat. If the child is not ready for a new attempt, discreetly encourage him: "When you are ready, you will certainly be able to cycle from the garage to the entrance (throw the ball into the basket, solve an arithmetic problem)."

The ingredients of leadership - self-respect and self-confidence - are like a bouncy ball. Pump air and it will burst. There is not enough air - he refuses to bounce off the asphalt and loudly jump along the path. If you are disappointed in your child, he will certainly feel it - and self-confidence will be undermined. Accept your child as a winner and a loser, strong and weak, then his chances of becoming a leader will increase many times over. Does the leader start with a competition?

Does the leader start with a competition?

It is believed that a leader starts with a competition. "Who would rather eat porridge", "Who will wash the dishes cleaner" - these games are good with peers, but not with sisters or cousins, because relationships within the family are already burdened with strong feelings: jealousy, envy, hidden grievances ... The loser is not scolded, over they don't laugh at him. Also, avoid rewards for the one who "eats the porridge first" or "cleans up the dishes". In this case, quite warm praise. Wise adults do not belittle the leader's success: "Just think, he came running faster than everyone else! It's a big deal!"

But they do not emphasize his achievements either. The leader is explained: "It's great that you can run faster than others. Someone knows how to draw better, someone likes to dance, someone knows a lot of songs. Each person has brighter talents and there are things that he does with less. hunting ".

What kind of leader is he?

The child leader is easy to recognize in a group of peers already at the age of three. For some reason, other children stick to him. He often wins the rights to the most popular. In most cases, the leader is active and cheerful. He was a cheerleader in outdoor games, most often suggests new game and takes the most honorable role in it.

Educators find him charming and most often give him honorable assignments - to help set the table for dinner, to erase chalk from the board. The leader is always in sight, sparkles with a dazzling smile and, it seems, every day more and more realizes the charm of his popularity. Most often, child leaders are good at manipulating others - both peers and adults. Growing up, they become fashion dictators in their environment: they choose what to play today, whom to take into the game, and whom not to hang around with, they know how to involve other children in fulfilling their goals. The energy of child leaders should be tactfully channeled into a creative channel, you need to help them improve their best qualities and work to eradicate bad inclinations, because it is the leaders who most often turn into the leaders of youth gangs or hooligan groups. Try to make the child understand that being a leader means taking responsibility not only for yourself, but also for those who follow.

Teach your child to take criticism

It is important for a good leader to accept criticism without feeling shame and anguish. Therefore, criticism should be smart, constructive, aimed at correcting shortcomings, and not at humiliating the child's dignity. "You good friend, you know how to share with others, you offer help to your friends. Only I noticed that you began to raise your voice to your friends. When you learn to speak louder, it will be even more pleasant to play with you "- such a remark that mother made to her son, as soon as she was alone with him, will be remembered and will become important lesson... When criticizing, do not clip the wings of children, do not disappoint them in their own strengths. Instead of dismissively saying: “This is not cleaning. Look, dust is swirling in the corners,” say: “A lot has been done. You clean up more and more diligently every time.

Having found a hassle in the kitchen, do not rush to scold your daughter: ask what she tried to cook, praise for independence, offer help. Maybe you can share a salad recipe or tell me how it is easier to remove grease from the floor with which your daughter flooded the entire kitchen? Encourage her to be independent by explaining that any skill requires practice. The child must learn to realistically evaluate his actions, his achievements. If the child is deaf, you should not ask him to sing in front of guests and praise the singing exaggeratedly. "Over-praised" children lose their bearings, their self-esteem develops disproportionately to their natural data, they expect praise from their peers, and receive clicks and ridicule. A bad service is provided to children by parents who unreasonably overestimate their achievements. "Mom! I am the only one in the class who has written five-grade math!" - "You are my smartest!" You cannot convince a child that he is the most agile if he came running first in the competition. Sooner or later, the child will surely face reality: someone will bypass him in running, someone will be stronger or smarter. The more unjustifiably the child's self-esteem is overestimated, the more difficult it will be for him to come to terms with failure.

A true leader ...

• ... diligently develops his strengths, knows how to show off his talents in front of peers and adults;
• knows how to make fun of his shortcomings without malice and make the most of them. To do this, the child must learn to laugh with you heartily at his minor mistakes and not take criticism too personally. Family humor is the best medicine for insecurity and the other extreme - overconfidence;
• knows how to captivate peers;
• communicates confidently with mature and older people.

My child is not a leader ... what's wrong with him?

Do not rush to project your own expectations and aspirations onto the child.

• Every child chooses his own path. Trust nature and your child - let him develop the qualities that nature gave him. Your help is to be an example to him, to help him develop moral values, to support and encourage him to learn new things.
• If nature has made your child shy and quiet, this does not mean that she cheated him. Against! His gift is to observe, reflect, contemplate. If your child chooses a quieter or more secluded place in life, this means that he values ​​the calm joys of life above all else. There is nothing wrong with a child striving to become a librarian or a park keeper.
• Every child who is able to independently decide what to do, with whom to be friends, how to spend free time, has sufficient firmness and desire for freedom. Leadership does not mean running ahead of the engine. True leadership is about going your own way, attracting those you want to see in your companions. For some, this is a crowd of admirers. For others, a single friend is enough.
• If your child does not strive to be in the public eye, always and in everything first, but wants to remain in the shadows, do not scold him, do not regret or criticize him. Take a closer look at him, determine what gives him special pleasure. Create the conditions for your child to maximize their skills in the area in which they want to excel.
• As a child, each person chooses what is more important to him. Someone needs to be rich and famous, And for someone the greatest value is peace and time to read or admire nature.

Reading 6 min.

How to Raise a Leader in a Child? Modern parents dream of seeing their kids in the future successful and self-sufficient. The idea that their child will be at someone's "errand" terrifies those close to them. Not everyone can be a leader not only at home, but also among friends, at school, in the eyes of adults. Leadership should not be confused with dictatorship. How to raise a leader in a child without going too far? What mistakes are best avoided when identifying leadership qualities? For a better understanding of whether the child has the makings, you can go through.

Are you born or become a leader?

Only 40% of leadership qualities are inherent in the infant from birth, the remaining 60% depends on parenting. Whether your son or daughter will be a leader depends on the upbringing and example of those close to you. Parents are role models. If parents do not have achievements in life, then the child will not strive to be a leader. Of course, it so happens that the little leader, in spite of everyone, shows his strengths and achieves success. This is how ruthless leaders grow up with a cold heart. Feelings of compassion and mercy are alien to them.
In a family where at least one parent has achieved considerable success, it is much easier to educate a child's leadership qualities. By their own example, adults show the form of communication, norms of behavior, respect and compassion for others.

It is also worth focusing on what parents say to children. In a fit of anger, adults can drop an insulting word without attaching importance. However, for a little man, every word plays a big role in the formation of personality. If mom or dad often says: “How stupid you are…”, “Don't do this, do as I said,” and so on, such statements lead to a decrease in self-esteem. The child tries not to show himself at all, becomes shy, passive.

Praise the baby more often, encourage. Sincere belief in a positive outcome will give you more confidence.

Do you need to educate a leader?

All children are different and not everyone can be. You should not try to make a leader out of a child if he feels comfortable alone or with best friend... Analyze the behavior of the child and if you identify such qualities, then most likely, at least a leader is growing up in your family:

• surrounded by peers is a "little motor", friends listen to him and want to be close;
• likes to be focused only on him;
• proves his opinion, argues;
• easily communicates with people of different ages;
• knows his flaws and easily experiences jokes in his direction and so on.

If you have not seen such qualities in your baby, do not be discouraged. The task of parents is to raise a happy, full-fledged, self-sufficient person. You don't have to lead the crowd.

A person can succeed with the support of close friends and family. By providing moral support to children, you build self-confidence.
Confidence needs to be nurtured every day, and for boys this is the most important thing. In order for a man to grow up self-confident, purposeful, successful, at the same time compassionate and compassionate, in childhood he must be surrounded by support and correct upbringing. Boys with early age it is necessary to learn some necessary habits to develop leadership qualities:

• keep promises;
• do more than the task is set;
• bring the work to completion;
• respect others;
• watch your appearance and health;
• set new goals and achieve them.

How to raise a leader?

First of all, take a closer look at the baby, he himself will show and tell if he has the makings of a leader. Only this does not in any way affect the attitude towards the child. If leadership qualities are "on the face", parents have the opportunity to develop them, maintaining balance and constructive criticism. Exactly correct attitude to criticism is the key to success. A baby will learn to accept criticism without resentment and shame if, in childhood, parents correctly discussed failures. After all, one situation can be presented in two ways. For example, after cleaning her daughter, mom discovers dusty corners, saying, “I didn't clean well. Until the floors shine, you won't go anywhere! ”. After such words, the girl's enthusiasm disappears, she certainly will not take the initiative. Another option: "Daughter, every time your floors are cleaner and cleaner, you just have to remove the dust from the corners and let's go have tea." This approach will awaken interest in any business, because the closest person believes in the girl.
Some parents try to educate their child for leadership through competition. Here you need to be careful not to praise the winner, but to explain that this is the fruit of his labor, that other people have other merits.
Show the growing leader the importance of the deeds done, not the words spoken. Only actions give rise to results. Teach you to calmly perceive failures, to endure lessons. He is not mistaken who does nothing! In any situation, look for positive sides together, people are drawn to optimists, it is easier to communicate with them and find common interests.

It is important in early childhood to see the interests of the baby and develop them. In a business that brings pleasure, a person will achieve great success. And with the support of loved ones, faith in success will give an impetus to the development of a self-sufficient personality.

Perform daily leadership development activities:
before going out for a walk, let the kid choose a toy himself and carry it to the playground;

• give your son or daughter an opportunity to remember the way to the store (clinic, grandmother, etc.);
• invite the baby to be the first to approach an unfamiliar child on the playground;
• ask the preschooler's opinion more often, get advice;
• be tactful with children's questions, desires.

Children whose parents “make an elephant out of a fly” grow up anxious and insecure. Any failure of the toddler must be followed by another attempt.

You should not press, force to the next attempt, reassure: "Try again when you are ready."

A person being born has an individual set of qualities and skills, under the influence environment in the process of growing up, these qualities develop or fade away. A real leader is one who knows how to set goals and achieve them, expresses an opinion based on personal feelings. Each child should choose his own friends, activities, hobbies. Someone achieves extraordinary success in business, while others feel comfortable at home with a book in their hands. You should not rely on stereotyped requirements, listen to the feelings of the baby and follow them.
The main mission of adults is to bring up a harmonious, multifaceted, happy personality. Reveal strengths and channel them in the right direction. Adhering to the golden mean, trust the child, give reasonable freedom. By observing, you yourself will understand how to raise a child as a leader. Love your kid a champion or a loser, bossy or mediocre.

The ability to lead others and achieve results is not given to everyone. And often leaders are not born, but become! Do you want your child to “work for his uncle” in the future? Do you dream that he will become successful, and his opinion will be listened to? Then bookmark our educational techniques that will help you develop leadership qualities in your child from early childhood!

American professor Robert Sternberg identifies 3 qualities inherent in gifted leaders: intelligence(ability to distinguish good ideas from the bad and to reveal their ability to be accepted by other people); creativity(the ability to generate new ideas and find non-standard solutions to problems); wisdom(the ability to listen to the opinions of others and adopt the right experience).

What should parents do to make a leader out of their child?

Be leaders

The personal example of parents is the best lesson. Does your couple take part in sports, community service, or other events? Take your child with you as a good example of what it is like to be passionate about society and to influence the lives of others.

If you feel that you yourself lack leadership qualities, then it is never too late to pursue personal growth. Interesting offers are waiting for you with great discounts.

Teach a child to socialize

Sharing emotions, listening, dealing with disagreements and defending your point of view while standing face to face with another person is scary and difficult. But these are the most important leadership skills! Help your child become more social, teach him to confidently communicate with the environment and at the same time not feel vulnerable.

Instill a love of reading and rewarding hobbies

Numerous studies prove the benefits of reading for the development of leadership skills. Through books, children learn more about the world and are better able to process incoming information, making useful conclusions.

There are also various hobbies that can help you become smarter. Read more about them.

Teach your child to think positively

When a child faces difficulties positive thinking is almost decisive. It helps him to accept the problem and maintain stability, not to give up what he has begun, but on the contrary, to show a creative component and be creative in order to find an extraordinary solution to the problem.

Develop empathy in your child

The world is already full of terrible things and cruelty. A feeling of compassion for others helps the child to perceive him differently (more beautiful and full of hope), expands the boundaries and allows you to build a good relationship with other people, approach them through compassion.

Teach your child to make choices

Don't just choose between red and green, but make the right choice so that it leads to the desired consequences. Among the variety of possible options, help your child narrow the circle down to 2-3. You can write down all the pros and cons on paper, and then think together and take the most effective solution based on the situation. Solve simple tasks together with your child so that he learns to do right choice in everyday life.

Every day, by our behavior, we instill in children certain beliefs and attitudes towards life. Unfortunately, few of the parents are aware enough to proceed from a long-term perspective in upbringing. Basically, adults are limited to "operational management" and solving current problems: to help do their homework, go to a parent meeting, dress, feed, and entertain. Short-term bursts of "good pedagogical intentions" quickly fade away, faced with the daily flow of routine tasks.

At the same time, any mother dreams of seeing her child as a successful, fulfilled, in-demand person who has found his place in life, gets along well with people, loves his job and is happy in every possible way. And this is quite real - but only if you regularly make efforts in this direction.

The abundance of all kinds of information about parenting usually disorients parents, and many of them get lost, not knowing where to start. And they don't. Where is it better to invest time, what to pay special attention to so that the picture of a wonderful future does not remain an empty parental fantasy? I would recommend first of all to develop leadership qualities in children. They are most important for success in life.

Many people still think that true leadership is something innate. In fact, genetic makeup is not that important. The environment and competent participation of adults in the process of personality formation are much more important. Leadership is a certain stereotype of thinking and behavior that everyone, even a parent far from leadership in their work, can teach their child.

The foundation for leadership is adequate self-esteem, independence, the ability to manage emotions, the ability to assess one's actions from a long-term perspective, security and independence, and high stress resistance. All these qualities can and should be developed. And only on such a solid foundation it already makes sense to layer traditional "leadership" skills - oratory, the ability to negotiate and manage other people.

Ideally, it would be good to organize in the family such a scheme of upbringing and relationships in which the child regularly pumps and strengthens the necessary character traits and ways of thinking. It's not as difficult as it sounds. Let's take a look at the main components of such a circuit.

First of all, you need to give the child a sense of security and understanding that you are on his side, no matter what happens. You cannot betray your child, agreeing with other people's assessments, criticism, discontent. For example, if a teacher in a meeting talks about how awful your son is, that doesn't mean she's right. Most likely, he is inconvenient for her personally. There is nothing terrible in this - successful people are always uncomfortable. In adult life they are inconvenient in that they pretend to the best place, for more resources, for more favorable conditions. And comfortable people achieve nothing. So parents need to initially abandon the idea that their child should be obedient and approved by everyone.

In parallel with creating an atmosphere of security, it is necessary to form an adequate self-esteem in the child. Adequate means reflecting the real picture in this moment... Popular psychologists simplistically divide self-esteem into low and high. This is the wrong approach that leads to a dead end. In fact, it is possible to give an assessment only for some individual parameters. In general, it is impossible to evaluate a person, it will not be true, but a subjective label. It is necessary to teach the child to evaluate separately the appearance, personal qualities, the level of various knowledge and skills. In this case, it is convenient to use a 10-point scale. Then the girl, for example, stops thinking that she is "ugly." Because, for example, the ears are protruding, yes - and here she has conditionally 2 points out of 10. But the hair - 10 points, eyebrows and eyelashes - 10 points, skin - 6 points, nails - 8 points, etc. That is, it is not “scary” all, but only in two or three parameters out of 30-50. The main advantage of this grading system is that all parameters with low scores can be changed! Make a plan and even if not immediately, but come to the desired values. For example, ears can be covered good haircut, "beautify" nails with manicure, improve the skin proper nutrition and laser treatments. That is, there is no need for this ineffective long-term auto-training in the spirit of "I am the most charming and attractive." You can take clear concrete actions and quickly get the desired result and a natural increase in self-esteem.

In addition to adequate self-esteem, the future leader will need independence and independence. Everything is simple here: stop doing for the child what he is able to do himself. Every little thing matters here, so there is no need to "feel sorry for the baby" and take on the functions of a servant. The parents' task is not to run around with a bundle of straw for life, laying it where it is necessary and not necessary. On the contrary, responsible parents are the first trainers to prepare a child for an independent adult life. And it largely depends on their behavior and mood, how confident the child will feel without anyone's help and support. Real self-confidence is easily read by others and evokes an appropriate attitude.

Another important skill that you definitely need to instill is the ability to manage your emotions and properly experience them. When we suppress our emotions, they are stored in the body in the form of unconscious tensions, body blocks. And part of our strength, which could be directed towards achievement, is constantly spent on maintaining these blocks. In fact, every day we drain our energy into old resentments, into the habitual feeling of guilt, into powerless aggression, which we habitually suppress. This is a typical situation for adults, and in this typical situation we immerse our children too. The solution here is to raise your emotional awareness and teach your children to do this. This skill is essential not only for developing a leadership position, but also for maintaining health. I teach in the course "How to make a child a leader" to competently work with suppressed emotions, remove them from the body and return their inner strength.

The next valuable quality is empathy, the ability to empathize. A person who does not understand and does not feel the state of other people will not be able to lead anyone. To develop empathy, you need to regularly offer to evaluate a certain situation, not only from your side, but also from the side of the rest of its participants. This can be done both with real life examples and when watching films and cartoons together. The habit of putting oneself in the place of another and seeing the whole situation as a whole as if from the outside is a global management skill that will come in handy more than once in adult life.

It is very important to develop stress resistance in a child. A true leader in difficult situations does not fall into emotions and does exactly what will help to effectively solve the problem that has arisen. But this skill is not formed immediately. The child must first be taught the correct role models in practice, so that when a problem arises, he already has the necessary pattern of behavior. It is possible to sort out all possible critical situations with the child in advance and work out the behavioral reactions to them in role-playing games... This will greatly help in the future, when stupid friends begin to persuade the teenager to commit illegal actions, to use drugs, smoke, etc. In addition, such skills are very useful in dealing with toxic adults, who in the post-Soviet space have a habit of criticizing and lecturing without asking. For example, from childhood I trained my children in response to ridiculous claims by passing aunts calmly look them in the eyes and say the phrase: "Mom teaches me that not every value judgment should serve as a behavior modifier." And my daughters left a lot of idle "counselors" with their mouths open in surprise with the help of such a convenient statement. If, on the one hand, the child knows that in any situation the parents are up to him, and on the other hand, he has effective ways response to difficult moments - his self-confidence increases significantly.

In addition to all of the above, you need to teach your child to evaluate the consequences of their actions from a long-term perspective. And also do not be afraid of mistakes and criticism. Be able to assign your achievements. Perceive difficult situation not as a problem, but as a task. Minimize fuss and choose only those actions that lead to the achievement of the goal.

All these qualities and skills will be a reliable, solid foundation for leadership and people management skills.

It is possible to gain interest and respect among adolescents most quickly by standing out with some unusual knowledge and skills. The task of parents is to develop in a child all the inner qualities necessary for a leader and to ensure intellectual and skill superiority among peers. It is necessary to teach the child at a good level some cool skill or popular sport that will distinguish him favorably from other children. And also to interest your child in knowledge that is not given at school, for example, economics, marine biology, application development, etc. Only after that it makes sense to master the purely technical aspects of leadership: oratory, the ability to negotiate, manage a team, delegate, manipulate, etc.

If you are seriously interested in the topic of leadership and you intend to give your child a powerful start for a successful future, I recommend that you study my course "How to make a child a leader." There you will find all the necessary detailed instructions, tips and exercises to help you quickly achieve noticeable results.