family dysfunction criteria. Dysfunctional family The main types of improper parenting in dysfunctional families

17.10.2020 Survey

Types of improper upbringing of children in the family.

Today it is known that there is a direct relationship between the behavior of the child and family education. Most of all, difficulties arise with families where the situation of the child's development is unpredictable, beyond his control and is always fraught with unpleasant surprises. The child grows up without the confidence that he can get the support and help of his parents when he needs it. The most common example of such families are families where one of the family members suffers from alcoholism, adults are constantly in conflict with each other, not embarrassed in expressing negative feelings towards each other. But dysfunctional families, with a clearly difficult atmosphere, are not so many. There are many more families outwardly prosperous and even educated, literate, but realizing the wrong type family education. In these families, such important functions as meeting the basic needs of the child for parental love and attention. All this leads to an unfavorable option for the development of the child. We are all free to choose how we raise our child, but everyone has the right to know and think about the consequences of upbringing.

Rejection. It can be explicit and implicit. Explicit rejection is observed when the birth of a child was initially undesirable, or in the case when a girl was planned, but a boy was born and vice versa, i.e., when the child does not satisfy the initial expectations of the parents. It is much more difficult to define implicit rejection. In such families, at first glance, the child is desirable, they are attentive to him, they are taken care of, but there is no spiritual contact. The reason for this may be a feeling of own unfulfillment, for example, in a mother. For her, a child is an obstacle to career development, an obstacle that she can never eliminate, and is forced to endure. Projecting her problems onto the child, she creates an emotional vacuum around him, provokes her own child to the opposite rejection. In such families, children become either aggressive or too downtrodden, withdrawn, timid, touchy. Rejection creates a feeling of protest in the child. Character traits of instability, negativism are formed. Rejection leads to disbelief in one's own strength, self-doubt.

hypersocial education. These are too “correct” people who are trying to meticulously follow all the advice on an “ideal” upbringing. The child of such parents is, as it were, programmed. He is extremely efficient and disciplined. A hypersocial child is forced to constantly suppress his emotions, to restrain

your desires. With this type of upbringing, several ways of development are possible: it can be a violent protest, a violent aggressive reaction or self-aggression, or vice versa, isolation, isolation, emotional coldness.

Anxious and suspicious type of upbringing. It is observed when, with the birth of a child, there is simultaneously anxiety for him, for his health and well-being. Most often this occurs in families with an only child or where a weakened or late child grows. As a result, the child anxiously perceives natural difficulties, treats others with distrust. A child can grow up dependent, indecisive, timid, touchy, insecure.

egocentric parenting. The child, often the only one, long-awaited, is forced to imagine himself as a supervalue. He is an idol, the “meaning of life” of his parents. At the same time, the interests of others are often ignored, sacrificed to the child. As a result, he does not know how to understand and take into account the interests of others, does not tolerate further hardships, and aggressively perceives obstacles. Such a child is disinhibited, unstable, capricious.

neglect, lack of control occurs when parents are too busy with their own affairs and do not pay due attention to children. As a result, children are left to their own devices and spend time looking for entertainment, fall under the influence of "street" companies.

run away from home. Another kind of hyper-custody is upbringing like the "idol" of the family. The child gets used to being the center of attention, his desires, requests are implicitly fulfilled, he is admired, and as a result, having matured, he is not able to correctly assess his capabilities, overcome his egocentrism. The team does not understand him. Deeply experiencing this, he blames everyone, but not himself, a hysteroid

accentuation of character, bringing a person a lot of experiences throughout his life.

Cinderella parenting, those. in an atmosphere of emotional rejection, indifference, coldness. The child feels that his father or mother does not love him, is burdened by him, although it may seem to outsiders that the parents are attentive and kind enough to him. "There is nothing worse than pretense of kindness," wrote L. Tolstoy, "the pretense of kindness repels more than outright malice." The child experiences especially strongly if someone else from the family members is loved more. This situation contributes to the emergence of neuroses, excessive sensitivity to adversity or

children's anger.

"Hard parenting" - for the slightest offense the child is severely punished, and he grows up in constant fear. K. D. Ushinsky pointed out that fear is the most abundant source of vices (cruelty, bitterness, opportunism, servility arise on the basis of fear).

Education in conditions of increased moral responsibility -

from an early age, the child is instilled with the idea that he must necessarily justify the numerous ambitious hopes of his parents, or that unchildish overwhelming worries are placed on him. As a result, such children develop obsessive fears, constant anxiety for the well-being of their own and loved ones. Improper upbringing disfigures the character of the child, dooms him to neurotic breakdowns, to difficult relationships with others.

One of the most unacceptable methods of education used in the family is method of physical punishment when children are acted upon with the help of fear. Physical punishment causes physical, mental, moral injuries, which ultimately lead to a change in the behavior of children. So, every second punished teenager has difficulties in adapting, adapting him to the team of children, almost all of these children lose their desire to study.

Parents should also be aware of typical children's behavioral reactions.

The reaction of refusal (from games, food, from contact) occurs in response to a sharp change in the usual way of life, for example, when " home child"begins to attend kindergarten when the family loses someone close, etc.

The reaction of the opposition is manifested in the fact that the child opposes attempts to force him to do something he does not like (runs away from home, from school, etc.).

The reaction of exorbitant imitation of someone (a real person, a character in a movie, a book) is manifested in copying clothes, manners, speech, judgments, and actions. And the trouble is, if the idol is a negative subject.

The reaction of compensation is manifested in the fact that the child is trying with all his might to cover up or eliminate any of his weaknesses. Thus, failures in studies are compensated for by achievements in sports, and studies under the objective pretext of "employment" are relegated to the background. Or a physically weak boy, trying to keep up with his stronger peers, with amazing tenacity goes in for boxing to prove his courage, dives from a high bridge into the river.

The most favorable variant of the relationship between parents and children is when they experience a steady need for mutual communication, show frankness, mutual trust, equality in relationships, when parents are able to understand the world of the child, his age requirements.

Enough a good option relationships - when parents try to delve into the interests of children and children share with them. At the same time, parents must have the necessary sensitivity and tact, the ability to enter into children's World without pressure, imposing their views, criticism, without nervousness and prejudice.

It is important for parents to understand the motives and aspirations of children, showing enough respect for their arguments and arguments and convincingly revealing their arguments.

Parents can avoid parenting mistakes by adhering to the following recommendations:

Love your child Accept him for who he is. Insults and humiliation of him mean an undermining of his faith in himself, an unfair and incomprehensible punishment - a refusal to trust you.

Protect your child The child needs protection from both physical and spiritual

dangers. Even in cases where it involves giving up your own interests and risking your life. Let this protective function will help you feel big, strong and wise.

Set a good example for your child A child needs a friendly and calm home, where there are traditions, where parents are honored and where close and close ties with relatives and friends are maintained. The child should grow up in a family where trust, justice and harmony triumph. All this makes human relations simple and understandable, it will create a rear for you, which will give you strength in difficult moments of life.

Play with your child Child development takes time and sacrifice. A child understands you better if you play with him the way he likes it, if you take his games seriously, accepting his worldview in communication with him. It may be that thanks to this you will be able to relive the best moments of your childhood, drawing a new lesson from them.

Work with your child The child needs your help with his or her work and needs to be able to take part in your work. To make it easier for him in later life, he must learn to do all the housework that you know how to do. Team work will help him master the skills and become useful to you in this work.

Help your child to experience life. Independence of actions forms the basis for acquiring life experience. Even when this process is painful. The child perceives only what he was able to directly experience. Therefore, give him the opportunity to develop based on his own experience, even if it is associated with a certain risk. An overprotected and well-to-do child who is constantly protected from all sorts of dangers can become socially disabled, and you will have to continue to take care of him even when you yourself need his support.

Show the child the possibilities of human freedom and its limits Parents should strive to open the child the possibility of developing his personality, show him the starting point on the path to self-improvement and development. However, it should be understood that each person, performing his actions and building

line of conduct, must recognize and comply with certain restrictions, reckon with agreements and norms both in the family circle, among friends, and in society. By creating the opportunity for a child to improve in ways other than those that you yourself have gone through, you expand your own worldview and create the future with your own hands.

Teach your child to be independent; instill in him the skill of yielding with dignity Parents should monitor the behavior of the child and guide him in such a way that he does not harm himself or others. Recognition of one's own powerlessness, leaving, choosing a different path is the right of everyone, including your own child. You have something to be proud of as parents if a child can give in calmly and with dignity.

Expect from the child only those judgments and assessments that he is able to express. The child's concepts and his activities are determined age characteristics his development and maturation, as well as the life experience at his disposal. It will take a long time before the child learns to navigate in this complex world. The personal opinion of the child and the readiness for its practical implementation can be expected by the parents only when the child acquires such abilities. In this case, one should reckon with his own view of things and take into account the age of the child. You will certainly discover a lot of interesting things if you try to look at things the way your child sees them.

Create an unforgettable experience for your child The soul of a child, like an adult, is fed by emotions that allow him to get acquainted with the lives of other people and the world around him. family anniversaries and celebrations form the basis of such memories. Bring the alternation of sensations of weekdays and weekends into your child's life, let him enjoy the change of seasons, take part in hiking. Overcoming oneself in sports, empathy with the heroes of books and theatrical performances help the child to accumulate emotional experience.

How would you describe your family based on these characteristics?

DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY: main signs and characteristics.

Normally functioning families are those families that use rules that promote the growth and change of each family member and the entire family group as a whole. These families have variability, the ability to develop while maintaining stability and stability while maintaining change.

Dysfunctional families are closed family systems in which there are strict rules of conduct and assigned roles for each family member, which do not change over time, problems are not taken out of the family and are not solved, it is difficult for strangers to get inside such a system. These are families in which functioning in one or more areas is impaired, as a result of which the needs of family members for growth, change and self-actualization are blocked.

In such families, the actual needs of family members with the lowest social status are often blocked (most often these are children, adolescents, the elderly), and they develop any diseases (somatic, psychosomatic or mental disorders).
Of course, burdened heredity, organic disease of the brain, constitutional weakness of internal organs and systems are of great importance.

A person becomes a "carrier of a symptom", which allows you to keep the old established relationships between family members. For example, if parents are close to divorce and subsequent separation, in a dysfunctional family, a child will certainly fall ill, whose illness will unite the spouses with renewed vigor. They will have a new, external, incentive to be together. Sincerity in a relationship may not appear, but physically and nominally the family will be preserved.

CONSEQUENCES AND RISKS:

Growing up in a dysfunctional family forms psychological characteristics in children that contribute to the emergence of difficulties in interpersonal interaction. Subsequently, in adult life, difficulties in social adaptation, establishing close, genuine relationships with others, difficulties with trust, lack of confidence in oneself and one's abilities, a high risk of developing neurotic disorders, various kinds of addictions, etc. may appear.

SIGNS OF A DYSFUNCTIONAL (inharmonious) FAMILY:

Denying problems and maintaining illusions.
. Vacuum of intimacy ("isolation" of the family, no one visits, excessive fixation on relationships with each other)
. Frozen rules and roles (rigid system of "duties" and requirements)
. Conflict in relationships (repeated, non-constructive quarrels and scandals that allow you to relieve emotional stress, but do not solve the problem at the root)
. The non-differentiation of the "I" of each member ("If mom is angry, then everyone is angry")
. The boundaries of personality are either mixed or tightly separated by an invisible wall.
. Everyone hides the secret of the family and maintains a facade of pseudo-well-being
. Tendency to polarity of feelings and judgments
. Closed system
. Absolutization of will, control.
. Growing up in a dysfunctional family is subject to certain rules. Here are some of them: adults are the masters of the child; only adults determine what is right and what is wrong; parents keep an emotional distance; the will of the child, regarded as stubbornness, must be broken and as soon as possible.
. Self-destructive behavior of one or more family members (alcoholism, drug addiction, suicidal tendencies, etc.)
. It is forbidden (indirectly or explicitly) to openly express one's feelings (most often negative: anger, discontent, "you can't be angry with your parents", "a man has no right to be angry with his wife")
. Impossible direct, honest communication (personal issues are hushed up)
. Family members rarely spend free time together
. It is forbidden to change your role in the family system: you cannot become an adult from a child, become healthy from a sick person, become successful from a loser, etc.

SIGNS OF A FUNCTIONAL (HARMONIOUS) FAMILY

Problems are recognized, discussed and resolved
. Freedoms are encouraged (freedom of perception, thought and discussion, freedom to have your own feelings, desires, freedom of creativity)
. Each family member has its own unique value, differences between family members are highly valued
. Family members know how to meet their needs
. Parents do what they say (words carry weight)
. Role functions are chosen, not imposed (any member of the family can choose and change their role in the family system)
. The family has a place for entertainment and joint recreation
. Mistakes are forgiven, they learn from them
. Conflicts are resolved openly
. Flexibility of all family rules, laws, the possibility of discussing them.
. Open expression of feelings and needs is encouraged.

Neglect, lack of control occurs when parents are too busy with their own affairs and do not pay due attention to children. As a result, children are left to their own devices and spend time looking for entertainment, falling under the influence of "street" companies.

Overprotection- the child's life is under vigilant and tireless supervision, he hears all the time strict orders, numerous prohibitions. As a result, he becomes indecisive, lack of initiative, fearful, unsure of his abilities, does not know how to stand up for himself, for his interests. Gradually, resentment grows for the fact that “everything is permitted” to others. For adolescents, all this can result in a rebellion against parental “violence”: they fundamentally violate prohibitions, run away from home. Another type of overprotection is upbringing like an "idol" families. The child gets used to being in the center of attention, his desires, requests are implicitly fulfilled, he is admired, and as a result, having matured, he is not able to correctly assess his capabilities, overcome his egocentrism. The team does not understand him. Deeply experiencing this, he blames everyone, but not himself, a hysterical accentuation of character arises, which brings a lot of experiences to a person throughout his later life.

Cinderella parenting, i.e. in an atmosphere of emotional rejection, indifference, coldness. The child feels that the father or mother does not love him, is burdened by him, although it may seem to outsiders that the parents are quite attentive and kind to him. “There is nothing worse than pretense of kindness,” wrote L. Tolstoy, “the pretense of kindness repels more than outright malice.” The child experiences especially strongly if someone else from the family members is loved more. This situation contributes to the emergence of neuroses, excessive sensitivity to adversity or anger in children.

"Hard parenting"- for the slightest offense the child is severely punished, and he grows up in constant fear. K. D. Ushinsky pointed out that fear is the most abundant source of vices (cruelty, anger, opportunism, servility arise on the basis of fear).

Upbringing in conditions of increased moral responsibility: from an early age, the child is instilled with the idea that he must necessarily justify the numerous ambitious hopes of his parents, or that unchildish overwhelming worries are placed on him. As a result, these children

Such a cell of society is not able to properly perform its functions (household, material, reproductive, educational, emotional, controlling, spiritual communication, and others).

Factors in the formation of a dysfunctional family

As you know, dysfunctional families do not appear on their own. Several factors contribute to this.

Socio-economic. This is a low material status, irregular income, low-paid and unprestigious work, poor living conditions.

Criminal. Drug addiction, alcoholism, a criminal record, domestic fights, manifestation of sadism and cruelty towards family members.

Socio-demographic. These are families with many children, with stepchildren and adopted children, remarriages and elderly parents.

Medical and social. One or more family members have chronic disorders, disabilities, and other illnesses (from depression to cancer). This factor also includes adverse environmental conditions, harmful work, neglect of hygiene and sanitary standards. These features of dysfunctional families are often associated with the following factor.

Socio-psychological. These families are pedagogically illiterate, with deformed value orientations, destructive and conflicting relations between spouses, children and parents. Usually there is one or more forms of abuse (physical, emotional, neglect, sexual). In principle, many factors can psychological problems. For example, some unresolved grief that interferes with marital functions and childcare.

Of course, this does not mean that a family with many children or with low earnings is necessarily dysfunctional. Even in this situation, a loving and harmonious atmosphere can reign in the house. All factors must be considered from different angles. But it should be borne in mind that in the aggregate they give only an amplifying effect.

Features of dysfunctional families

Usually in a dysfunctional environment, you can find complex and strained relationships. For example, divorced or conflicting parents, father or mother not involved in raising children, chronic hostility between relatives. Constant quarrels, weekly silence after them, and sometimes even fights, are a common occurrence for a destructive family.

In these microgroups, especially men, there are often problems with drugs or alcohol. Women often experience psychosomatic health disorders, which they call chronic and intractable diseases. Of course, during the examination, they will not be confirmed, because such problems simply “sit in the head”. But women shift the blame for their illnesses to other family members (including children), deftly manipulating their behavior and directing it in the right direction.

Dysfunctional families are characterized by cyclicity. Therein lies the cause of the failure. All rules and stereotypes of behavior pass from one family to another through generations. That is, thinking is simply inherited from ancestors. It is because of him that certain tragedies happen in generations of families.

Let's say the mother overprotected and manipulated her son. There is nothing surprising in the fact that a dependent man who does not have his own opinion will grow out of him. Or another example. If the father was an alcoholic, then the daughter is almost 100% likely to marry the same person. And this will not be an accident, the choice will occur at a subconscious level. Of course, this can be avoided if the problem is recognized in time.

What is characteristic of a dysfunctional family

Consider what are the signs of a dysfunctional family, by which one can judge dysfunction.

Denying existing problems and maintaining illusions.
Relationship conflict. Scandals are constantly repeated, but the problems are not discussed and not solved.
Absolutization of control and power.
Polarity of emotions, feelings and judgments.
The lack of differentiation of one's own "I". If dad is in a bad mood, then everyone will be like that.
No close communication. It is not customary to directly discuss personal problems.
The ban on the expression of feelings, especially negative ones (anger, resentment, discontent). Most often this applies to children.
Rigid system of requirements and rules.
The family rarely or does not spend time together at all.
Excessive use of alcohol or drugs.
Codependency. This condition is inherent in the relatives of a person who is a slave to alcohol or drugs. This is a huge stress for all family members. They are forced to build their lives in accordance with what, when and how much their loved one will use. That is why a dysfunctional family and codependency are inextricably linked with each other.
Having a shared secret that you can't tell anyone. We are talking about hiding a criminal past, chemical addiction and other shortcomings of the family.
Isolation. It is not customary to visit and receive them at home. Therefore, excessive fixation on communication with each other is often observed.

Roles in a discordant family

Based on these signs, we can conclude that there are certain roles in a destructive microsociety. Moreover, it is strictly forbidden to change them. Such attempts are immediately nipped in the bud.

So what are the roles in a dysfunctional family? Usually parents act as oppressors in relation to children, feeling absolute power and control. And those, in turn, become oppressed. Although there are often situations when a husband suppresses his wife or vice versa.

Parents feel they are the masters of the child and determine for themselves what is right or wrong and how he should act. Adults do not believe that emotional intimacy should exist in a happy family. In children, obedience is valued above all, because they must be "comfortable." The will is regarded as stubbornness, which must be immediately broken. Otherwise, the parents will lose control of the situation, and the child will get out from under their yoke.

Also, you can’t express your opinion and ask why you need to obey all adults. This is a violation of the rules of a destructive family, an encroachment on the power and sanctity of parents. To feel safe and somehow survive, children believe that adults are good, and unconditionally fulfill all their requirements. It is not until adolescence that a child begins to criticize their parents and resist rigid rules. That's when the "most interesting" begins.

Dysfunctional families are also characterized by an addiction to force and violence. Moreover, it can be physical, emotional, sexual and expressed in the dissatisfaction of needs (parents can punish with hunger, make them walk in torn clothes, and so on). If the child did badly, received a deuce at school or showed disobedience, a kick, blow or other cruel punishment will immediately follow.

Poor children are traumatized for life. Often, against this background, a desire for victimization develops. This is an unconscious desire to act as a victim, a willingness to become a slave. For example, a woman who pleases, a wife who is beaten, living together with an alcoholic, marrying a powerful woman, and so on.

Rules of the three "don'ts"

Dysfunctional families live by their own cruel rules, but they usually come down to three requirements.

1. Don't feel. You can not openly express your feelings, especially negative ones. If you don't like something, shut up. It is also rare to see hugs or kisses in dysfunctional families.

2. Don't speak. You can not discuss problems and taboo topics. The most common taboo is talking about sexual needs. It is not customary to directly express your thoughts, requests and desires. For this, allegories and manipulations are used. For example, a wife wants her husband to wash the dishes. But she will not ask for it directly, but will only often hint and express dissatisfaction. Or another case. The mother says to her daughter, "Tell your brother to take out the trash." People from destructive families do not say anything in person, they do not know how to ask for help. Therefore, they do it bypassing and using intermediaries.

3. Don't trust. Not only do dysfunctional families not know how to resolve conflicts themselves, they do not discuss them with others and do not seek help. Such microgroups are more accustomed to living in social isolation. Therefore, all efforts are spent on maintaining the false image of an exemplary family.

Here are some more examples of common rules.

You can't have fun. In disharmonious families, it is believed that having fun, enjoying life, playing, relaxing and rejoicing is bad and even sinful.

"Do as you are told, not as I do." Children copy the behavior of adults. But parents often scold and punish the child for acting like them. People do not like to notice their shortcomings, and they expect the impossible from children. Here is an example. Mom explains to her son that in the evening you need to be quiet and try not to make noise, as the neighbors are resting and may already be sleeping. And then a drunk dad comes home, starts throwing furniture and yelling loudly. How to understand a child that you can not make noise in the evenings?

Faith in unfulfilled hopes. This habit is manifested in excessive daydreaming and can be found in all family members. "We'll wait a bit, something will definitely happen, and everything will be fine with us."

Types of destructive families

Types of dysfunctional families can be considered from the position of development (degradation) of such a microsociety.

Disorganized family. It is characterized by actual inequality, limitation of personal growth and coercion, when one exploits the other.

Destructive family. This type is characterized by conflicts, excessive independence and autonomy, unrequited emotional attachments, lack of mutual assistance and cooperation.

A broken family. It is distinguished by an extremely high conflict content, which over time covers more and more spheres of life. Family members cease to perform their functions and responsibilities, but they are kept together by a common living space. The marriage of the spouses, in principle, broke up, but so far there is no legal registration for this.

Broken family. Husband and wife have divorced, but even then they may be forced to perform certain functions. We are talking about material support for former spouses, a common child and raising children. Often the communication of such a family continues to be accompanied by serious conflicts.

One variety cannot be attributed to these dysfunctional types of families; we will consider it separately.

Pseudoharmonic family

At first glance, such a family is no different from a happy one. She seems to take care of the child, is capable of financial support, and everyday activities seem to be an established system. Quite a normal life. However, if we discard the first impression, then behind the wall of external well-being, one can see serious problems.

Usually one person establishes undemocratic rules and requirements, the failure to comply with which is followed by strict and cruel punishments. This style of management does not involve the participation of other family members in decision making. So they are not asked what they would like. Household members do not emotional attachments and love, the relationship is more like a usurping system. Although functional and dysfunctional families are similar on the outside, you can see all the problems from the inside.

Oddly enough, but such a micro-society can exist for a long time, even a lifetime. And children will suffer the most from this if the situation is not changed in time.

How life in a dysfunctional family changes a child

Children from a destructive environment receive psychological trauma, which in the future may manifest itself in the form of many problems. These are self-doubt, neurotic disorders, addictions of various kinds, difficulties with trust and social adaptation, the inability to build close relationships with friends and the opposite sex. The list can be continued indefinitely.

Children in dysfunctional families learn to survive with the help of mechanisms. They create around themselves the illusion of affection and love, idealize and minimize these feelings. Anger and hatred often spill out onto objects, friends and loved ones. Feelings are denied and clouded, as a result of which a person can become indifferent to everything.

A destructive environment teaches the child to deceive, to condemn, to make excessive demands on himself, to be an overseer, too responsible or, conversely, careless. For such people, any changes are painful, especially those that are beyond their control. They often seek support and approval, but do not know how to accept praise. Children from a dysfunctional environment do not know how to value themselves, enjoy life and have fun. A family is created early and according to an already known pattern, that is, in accordance with the behavior of the parents.

Features of working with a dysfunctional family

Psychologists and other specialists in working with such families face a number of problems. Usually they are not ready to openly talk about their lives, and the realization of some things is perceived painfully. Some relatives prevent change because they condemn the recommendations of the counselor and do not allow them to be implemented. Spouses have no idea about the correct role behavior in the family, and it takes years to learn.

The first step to solving a problem is recognizing it. If you understand that not all is well in your home environment and want to have a happy family, then all is not lost. It is never too late to change, the main thing is to start.

A.E. Lichko, a well-known domestic psychiatrist, identified the following types of improper upbringing in the family.

HYPOPROTECTION. This type of improper upbringing in its extreme form is manifested by complete neglect, but more often by a lack of guardianship and control over the child's behavior, a lack of attention, care and guidance, a lack of parental interest in his affairs and hobbies. Hidden hypoprotection is observed when control over the behavior and the whole life of a teenager seems to be carried out, but in reality it is characterized by extreme formalism.

DOMINANT HYPERPROTECTION. Excessive guardianship, petty control over every step grows into a whole system of constant prohibitions and vigilant vigilant observation of a teenager, sometimes reaching shameful surveillance for him.

CONDITIONING HYPERPROTECTION. In its extreme manifestation, conniving hyper-protection received the name of education according to the type of “family idol”. This is the desire to free the "beloved child" from the slightest difficulties, from boring and unpleasant duties. From childhood, the child grows up in an atmosphere of enthusiasm, praise and unbridled adoration, which cultivates an egocentric desire to always be in the center of attention of others.

EMOTIONAL REJECTION. With this type of upbringing, a child or teenager constantly feels that they are burdened, that he is a burden in the life of his parents. The situation is even more aggravated when there is someone else nearby - a brother or sister, especially half-parents, stepfather or stepmother, who are much dearer and more beloved (upbringing like "Cinderella"). Hidden emotional rejection occurs when a mother or father does not admit to himself that he is burdened by his son or daughter.

CONDITIONS OF BRUTAL RELATIONSHIPS. These conditions are often combined with an extreme degree of emotional rejection. A cruel attitude can manifest itself openly - severe reprisals for minor offenses. Or it manifests itself when spiritual indifference to each other prevails in the family, concern only for oneself, complete disregard for the interests and anxieties of other family members.

A system of cruel relationships can also be cultivated between pupils in some closed institutions for adolescents, especially difficult and delinquent ones.

INCREASED MORAL RESPONSIBILITY. In such cases, parents have high hopes for the future of their child, his success, his abilities and talents. They often cherish the idea that their descendant will realize their own unfulfilled dreams. A teenager feels that very, very much is expected of him. In another case, conditions of heightened moral responsibility are created when a minor child is entrusted with childish concerns about caring for younger or sick and helpless family members.

Indulgent hypoprotection. Here, the lack of control and permissiveness in the attitude of parents towards a teenager is combined with their uncritical attitude towards his behavior. Parents always try to justify the teenager, for all his misdeeds, to shift the blame to others, to protect him from public censure, and even more so from well-deserved punishment.

Education in the atmosphere of the cult of the disease. Exaggerated concerns about health, the cult of the regime and the treatment of existing diseases, in fact, are one of the forms of dominant hyperprotection.

Contradictory upbringing. Family members in such cases (father and mother, parents and grandfather or grandmother, etc.) use incompatible educational approaches and sometimes make conflicting demands on the teenager. At the same time, family members compete, and even openly conflict with each other.

Education outside the family.

In itself, education outside the family, in a boarding school during adolescence is not a negative psychogenic factor. On the contrary, it is even useful for a teenager to leave his family for some periods of time and live among his peers - this contributes to the development of independence. Temporary isolation from the family can be useful in cases of severe conflicts.

A negative psychogenic factor is the still occurring shortcomings in the work of boarding schools and other educational institutions. Especially unfavorable is the combination of an overly strict regime, bordering on hyperprotection, with formalism in its observance, which opens an outlet for hidden neglect, the secret spread of bad influences, cruel relationships between pupils, as well as a lack of emotional warmth on the part of educators.

These types of bad parenting are especially detrimental to the child, creating a greater risk of hitting the weak sides of his character. The child turns out to be the most sensitive to that type of incorrect upbringing, which is addressed to the "Achilles' heel" of his type of character accentuation.

That is why upbringing in a harmonious family, supplemented, expanded and corrected by public education, has been and remains the best for the formation of a person, especially in the younger and middle teenage years.

Workshop 1.

1. Give your examples for each of the types of groups (see classification).

2. What is the fundamental psychological difference between a large and a small group?

5. What is the difference between formal and informal group norms?

Discussion on decision-making in subgroups on the topic: “Psychological qualities necessary for working in teams (patients, medical personnel)” followed by an analysis of the behavior of the participants. Other possible topics: “professionally important qualities of a doctor”, “should I inform a seriously ill patient of his diagnosis?”, “time machine”, etc.

Identify the problem and ask the question: “What to do?”

Listen to all opinions (both complementary and mutually exclusive);

Push different opinions close to the truth, sharpening the discussion and thereby stimulating collective thought;

Having reached a unanimous (or supported by the majority) opinion (logically flawless conclusion), propose a formulation of the conclusion (decision, common opinion)

Workshop 2

3. What is the fundamental difference between the concepts of "cohesion" and "compatibility"?

What are some ways to respond to group pressure?

5. Define the concept of a family.

6. In what type of upbringing is insufficient control over the child's behavior manifested?

7. Name 2 variants of the manifestation of education according to the type of increased moral responsibility.

8. What is the name of the parenting style in which parents make different and opposite demands on the child?

9. How can a child's hidden emotional rejection manifest itself? Give an example.

10. What is the difference between dominant and conniving overprotection? Do these styles have something in common?

test questions
1. Mandatory characteristics of a small group are:

1) contacts between its members;

2) mutual sympathy;

3) interaction of its members "face to face";

4) psychological compatibility.

2. As an example social category can be called such a set of persons as:

2) labor collective;

3) university students;

4) passengers of a carriage compartment.

3. Socialization is:

3) the assimilation by the individual of the norms and values of a certain social environment;

4) social regulation of relationships in the group.

4. Homogeneity of the group according to socio-demographic characteristics:

1) leads to the division of the group into several subgroups;

2) promotes good contacts between its members;

3) interferes with group cohesion;

4) leads to the emergence of an informal leader.

5. The task is best solved in a group when:

1) there is an equal number of active and passive members of the group;

2) all its members strive for leadership;

3) there is a certain combination of the number of active and passive members of the group;

4) one member of the group has more information than the others.

6. Group norms arise on the basis of:

1) official orders, instructions, etc.;

2) contacts between group members;

3) innate needs;

4) the desire of some members of the group for leadership.

7. Conformity means:

1) uncritical subordination of the individual to the pressure of the group;

2) opposition of the individual to the pressure of the group;

3) cooperation between the individual and the group;

4) the desire of the individual to dominate in the group.

Indulgent overprotection - lack of supervision and uncritical attitude towards behavioral disorders. Promotes the development of unstable and hysterical traits.

Hypoprotection is a lack of guardianship and control, a true interest in the affairs, worries and hobbies of a teenager.

The dominant overprotection is overprotection and petty control. Does not teach the child to independence and suppresses a sense of responsibility and duty.

Growing up in a cult of illness is a situation in which a child's illness, even a minor ailment, grants him special rights and puts the family at the center of attention. Egocentrism is cultivated.

Emotional rejection - the child feels that they are weighed down. The attitude has a severe effect on labile, sensitive, asthenic adolescents, strengthening the features of these types.

The conditions of a tough relationship - is expressed in the breaking of evil on the child and mental cruelty.

Conditions of increased emotional responsibility - childish cares and excessive demands are placed on the child.

Contradictory parenting is incompatible educational approaches of different family members. Such upbringing can be traumatic for any type.

Many studies have been devoted to the study of the influence of parenting style on the social development of children. So, in the process of one of them (D. Baumrind), three groups of children were identified.

1) Children with a high level of independence, maturity, self-confidence, activity, restraint, curiosity, friendliness and ability to understand the environment.

2) Children who are not self-confident enough, withdrawn and distrustful.

3) Children are the least self-confident, do not show curiosity, do not know how to restrain themselves.

The researchers looked at four dimensions of parental behavior towards their child:

- control; it is an attempt to influence the activity of the child. This determines the degree of subordination of the child to the requirements of the parents.

- requirement of maturity; it is the pressure that parents put on a child to force him to act at the limit of mental capacity, a high social and emotional level.

- communication; This is the use of persuasion by parents in order to obtain concessions from the child, clarifying his opinion or attitude to something.

- benevolence - the extent to which parents show interest in the child, warmth, love, compassion towards him.

behavior pattern 1. Authoritative parental control. Parents whose children were in the 1st group scored the largest number scores for all 4 features. They treated their children tenderly, with warmth and understanding, benevolently, communicated with them a lot, controlled the children, demanded conscious behavior. Parents listened to the opinions of the children, respected their independence, although they did not proceed only from the desire of the children. The parents adhered to their rules, explaining directly and clearly the motives of their own demands. Parental control was combined with unconditional support for the child's desire to be self-reliant and independent.

Behavior pattern 2. Imperious. Parents whose children were in the 2nd group received lower marks for the selected parameters. They relied more on severity and punishment, treated children with less warmth, sympathy and understanding, rarely communicated with them. Tightly controlled their children, exercised their power easily, did not encourage children to express their own opinions.

Behavior model 3. Condescending. Parents are indulgent, undemanding, disorganized, family life is poorly established. Children are not encouraged, relatively rare and sluggish remarks, no attention is paid to raising the independence of the child and his self-confidence.

Relationships with families change as they grow up. In the process of socialization, the peer group largely replaces the parents. The transfer of the center of socialization from the family to the group of peers leads to a weakening of emotional ties with parents. However, one should not exaggerate: the exaggeration of the idea of “replacing parents” by a group of peers does not correspond much to the real psychological picture.

36. Self-actualization and self-improvement of the individual. Ways and methods of self-improvement of a competent and competitive personality.

The problems of self-improvement and the realization of a person's creative potential are studied by acmeology.

Acmeology (from Greek acme - peak) - the science of the development and realization of the creative potential of a person as a subject of professional work and integral life activity.

The acmeological basis of self-improvement of the individual is the need for active self-development, productive self-realization, and advancement to one's own heights of perfection.

Self-improvement is determined by the interaction of a person with a specific social environment, during which he develops in himself such qualities that give success in professional activities and in life in general. Consequently, self-improvement is a personal-social phenomenon. It can unfold throughout the life course.

Self-improvement is a conscious process of increasing the level of one's competence and developing significant qualities in accordance with social requirements and a personal development program. Having reached a certain level of self-development, a person acquires the ability to manage current events, form good and open relationships with others, and achieve success in professional activity, to be a competent and competitive person, as well as to perceive life in its entirety.

The process of self-improvement is based on an internal mechanism for overcoming contradictions between the current level of personal growth (“I am real”) and some imaginary state of it (“I am ideal”). The sources of self-improvement are in the social environment, and the requirements must be somewhat higher than the available capabilities of a particular person. Only in this case, the preconditions for self-improvement arise in the form of internal contradictions, the result of which is the process of purposeful development of one's own personality.

The goal of self-improvement is never achievable, it slips away like a horizon line. Therefore, there is no limit to the development of personality.

Not every activity is self-improvement activity. In any activity, two sides can be distinguished - adaptive and creative. The latter is decisive in the process of self-improvement. Most people, unfortunately, remain in their development at the level of adaptation processes.

Currently, there are two main directions in acmeology : professional acmeology(N.V. Kuzmina, N.V. Kukharev and others) and acmeology of personality(B.G. Ananiev, A.A. Bodalev, D. Bruner, J. Piaget and others).

The subject of professional acmeology is the knowledge of the patterns of formation of a person's professionalism at all stages of his life, starting with professional self-determination.

Ways and means of self-improvement of the individual

Structurally, the process of self-improvement consists of the following steps:

self-knowledge (awareness of one's capabilities, one's strengths and weaknesses through self-observation, introspection, self-assessment);

self-motivation (use of motives and methods of internal stimulation for professional and personal self-development);

programming of professional and personal growth (formulation of self-improvement goals, determination of ways, means and methods of this activity);

Self-realization (implementation of a self-improvement program; self-realization as a way of life).

At all stages of improving one's personality, it is important to maintain a stable positive motivation and try to get rid of cognitive limitations in relation to one's personal capabilities.

Thus, the mechanisms of personal growth are: self-knowledge, self-motivation, programming of professional and personal growth, self-realization.

The starting point of personal growth, self-education of a person is the choice ideal - a model to which you would like to be equal. It can be a specific person or a collective image. The presence of an ideal-model is the root cause, the impetus for self-education.

Self-education is understood as an active and creative attitude of an individual towards himself, "completing" himself, aimed at improving certain personal qualities, neutralizing the "imperfections" of his personality. The start of self-education, personal growth is self-knowledge. Researchers of the problem of self-education and self-education (A.A. Bodalev, A.I. Kochetov and others) introduced the concept of “self-cognizing activity”, which emphasizes the complexity of this process, its deep psychological resonance: a person must identify and verbalize (say out) his imperfections and strengths . Methods of self-knowledge are: introspection, introspection, self-attitude, self-esteem.

The possibilities for personal development are endless. Physiology confirms that a person is able to change himself with active work on himself. Academician I.P. Pavlov considered man as the only system in the world capable of self-regulation and self-education: Education, if it is not violence, is impossible without self-education. Self-education presupposes a certain level of personality development, its self-awareness. The need for self-education is especially evident in transition period personality development, particularly in adolescence.

One of the most important personality traits needed in the modern world is the desire to achieve success.

A person whose stable characteristic is the desire for success does not become so in one day. The desire for success or lack of initiative is the result of education. The mechanism of formation of such opposite qualities is shown in the concept of "learned helplessness" proposed by the famous American psychologist M. Seligman.

Restrictions on the way to reach acmeological peaks

Ø The influence of the family (almost always people from childhood learn a limited, one-sided idea of themselves; a person can live his whole life implementing the “program” laid down in childhood).

Ø Own inertia (any change is possible provided that inertia is overcome, which requires energy and perseverance).

Granuloma of the tooth - inflammation of the tissues near the tooth root. Treatment is carried out by a dentist, an additional decoction is used

Types of dysfunctional families

A destructive family is distinguished by the isolation of its individual members, an atmosphere of emotional tension and conflict, and a lack of emotional closeness.

A disintegrating family is characterized by an acute conflict between parents, in which children are involved. The family is breaking up.

Broken family - a family in which one of the parents left the family, but continues to maintain contact with it.

An incomplete family is a family in which one of the parents is absent.

A rigid pseudo-solidarity family is distinguished by the presence of a dominant leader, to whom everyone unquestioningly obeys. In such a family there is no emotional warmth, despotism reigns.

The main types of improper upbringing in dysfunctional families

Hyperprotection is manifested in petty guardianship, in strict control over behavior, in excessive imposition of one's own will.

Hypoprotection is manifested in the lack of attention, interest of parents in the hobbies and experiences of a teenager.

conditions of emotional rejection. They are characterized by harsh treatment or emphasized attention to the teenager, behind which lies complete indifference.

The conditions of tough relationships are manifested by frequent punishments, beatings, tortures (physical and moral) for the slightest misconduct and disobedience.

Conditions of increased moral responsibility arise where parents expect or demand from the child much greater results than he can achieve.

Figure 2. Types of disadvantaged families.

Improper upbringing adversely affects (in dysfunctional families) the behavior and character of the child. These points are shown in the form of diagrams (Figure 2, 3, 4, 5).

Figure 2. Consequences of upbringing in conditions of high morality.

Figure 3. Consequences of parenting in abusive relationships.

Figure 4. Consequences of parenting under hyperprotection.

Figure 5. Consequences of education in conditions of hypoprotection.

L.S. Alekseeva presents a classification of dysfunctional families depending on their leading indicators of disadvantage Alekseeva L.S. Incomplete family in difficult life situation// Domestic magazine social work. - 2009. - No. 2. - S. 26-31. The block diagram is shown below (Figure 6).

Figure 6. Classification according to Alekseeva.

Based on the violation of the laws of family harmony by Spivakovskaya, eight types of disharmonious unions were identified, which received peculiar metaphorical names (Figure 6).

Figure 6. Classification family unions according to Spivakovskaya.

Family trouble criteria

The family is considered dysfunctional based on the assessment of a number of criteria.

The characteristics of the types of dysfunctional families according to different authors are presented in Table 1.

Table 1. Classification of types of dysfunctional families.

	Types of dysfunctional family	Characteristic
V. V. Zikratov	1. With a lack of educational resources. 2. Conflict families. 3. Morally dysfunctional families. 4. Pedagogically incompetent families.	1. Families with a low level of development of parents, incomplete families. 2. Families with tension between parents. 3. The members of such families are observed in a flawed desire to achieve their goals in relation to another. 4. Families with an outdated understanding of the upbringing and development of the child.
G. P. Bochkareva	1. Families with a dysfunctional emotional atmosphere. 2. Families where parents, despite external troubles, are indifferent to the needs of the child. 3. Families with an unhealthy moral atmosphere.	1. Families in which parents treat children rudely, disrespectfully, suppress their will. 2. Families with a lack of emotional contact between parents and children. 3. The child is involved in an immoral way of life, learns socially undesirable needs.
L. S. Alekseeva	1. Conflict families. 2. Immoral families. 3. Pedagogically incompetent families.	1. Families with a level of increased verbal aggression. In such families, family scenes arise daily, they communicate in raised tones. 2. The behavior of family members is contrary to the norms that are pleasant in society. 3. Families with low psychological and pedagogical knowledge.
M. A. Galaguzova	Families with low social status.	Families with reduced livelihoods do not cope with the responsibilities assigned to them. The process of upbringing in such families proceeds slowly, difficultly, with little result, slowly.
V. M. Tseluiko	1. Families with a clear form of trouble. 2. Externally respectable families.	1. These are asocial problematic families with immoral and criminal behavior. 2. The lifestyle of such families does not disturb society.
V. V. Yustitskis	1. "Incredulous" family. 2. The "frivolous" family. 3. "Cunning" family.	1. A characteristic feature in such a family is an increased distrust of others. 2. A distinctive feature of the family is a carefree attitude towards the future, the desire for momentary pleasure. 3. In such families, first of all, they value the successful achievement of the goal, the dexterity of the results achieved. Members of such families sometimes easily overstep the allowed boundaries.

Conclusion:

Despite the fact that there can be many reasons for family troubles, they are all interconnected. Usually one of them plays a dominant role, the other - in second place. The selection of forms and methods of influencing each individual family depends on the prevailing cause of family distress.