So, we continue the theme of children's fears. Last time we spoke

Today we will talk about the age-related fears of children 3-7 years old.

This age is characterized by the final formation of the "I" of the child, the active development of social skills (the child becomes interested in other children). The child's independence increases. Thinking, imagination are intensively developing, and with them the likelihood of fears increases. At this age, unconditionality remains very important for children. parental love.

Children at this age are keenly oriented toward relationships with a parent of the opposite sex. If such communication is difficult, conflicting, not emotional enough, then this leads to increasing anxiety in the child. This anxiety can develop into the following childhood fears: fear of loneliness, darkness, closed space.

In connection with the development of thinking and imagination, fears of various magical characters: skeletons, bobs hiding under the bed, etc. This anxiety is eliminated through joint games, attention, tactile caresses of the child.

The child strives for independence, but, on the other hand, is afraid of it, and during this period, the support of parents is important for him. They can smooth out this period by creating a stable environment for the child, providing him with confidence in the future.

It is also important that the child feel self-confidence, and for this he needs the support of his parents, it is important to properly balance the boundaries, prohibitions, rights and obligations of the child.

I would also like to note the importance of communication with peers at this age. When communicating, children play the topics that disturb them, fears, and thereby work them out, acquire the skills of psychological defenses, and resistance to stressful influences.

Children's fears from five to seven years

This age is very full of various fears. During this period, the thinking of children, the ability to generalize, classify, and awareness of reality are actively developing.

At this stage, children often confuse their parents by asking questions, and the logical consequence of this question is "Where am I going?". The reaction of parents to this question is very important.

If an adult overreacts emotionally to these questions, gets lost, hesitates, then thereby emphasizing the non-standard, “danger” of the topic, fixing the child’s attention on these issues. “If parents are so worried, afraid of this issue, then it means that I need to be afraid of this too”, - this is approximately the logic of the child.

When parents avoid these topics, hush them up, then the child may, firstly, to form a sense of shame in relation to the "sexual" issue and, secondly, there is a pronounced fear of death, since "the parents themselves are afraid to tell me about it, probably it's something terrible."

For a detailed analysis of this issue, see the seminar: “How to talk with a child about death?”

However, if parents calmly relate to the topics of birth and death, do not arrange some special event out of this, then the children will perceive this topic in the same way as everyone else, and will not get hung up on it. Initially, for the child, the questions “Where did I come from?” and "What is death?" are equivalent to the questions “Why does the wind blow?”, “Why are the skies blue?” etc.

Usually the child is actively interested in these issues for a month or two. Age-related fear of death can be experienced in different ways. Someone will pester everyone with questions “And when I / you / mother / grandmother, etc. die?”, with requests not to die.

Someone may become afraid of attacks, cars (accidents), thunderstorms, fire, elevators and the like, that is, natural disasters or emergencies. Someone with renewed vigor may begin to be afraid of the dark, scary characters: vampires, skeletons, witches, crocodiles, dogs, and so on.

Signs of the active experience of this fear can also be seen in the child's games. These are games of war, hospital, various attacks, etc., often the child begins to take on a negative role in games, for example, the role of a villain who kills everyone.

How can parents help at this stage of development?

First, calmly and specifically explain everything.. Only, of course, it is not necessary to go into anatomical details. For a child, the concepts of "death", "soul" are still too abstract, since they cannot be seen or tasted. How exactly to explain to a child - each parent decides for himself, some explain from the point of view of religion, others say that the soul flies to the cloud and watches the rest from there, and so on.

There is another option that helps children visually understand this topic - this is the use of metaphor, comparison. For example, the life of a flower (a flower grows, blooms, withers, but it leaves seeds from which new flowers will grow), or the water cycle in nature.

It is also important to try to explain the time frame, because for a child of 5-7 years old “not soon” is both in a week and in a year, he feels time differently than adults. Therefore, it is very important to mark the time with the help of life events: you will get married, have children, grandchildren will appear, etc.

Closer to school age, children may appear. Usually this is provoked by the parents themselves. If they fuss about it, which means they significantly increase the burden on nervous system, then the child is exhausted physically and mentally even before the start of school.

Like his parents, he also begins to actively experience the transition to the status of a schoolchild. From this conclusion: parents themselves do not need to be so nervous about studying at school.

I have listed the main fears of preschool children.

Everyone experiences them differently. Some imperceptibly, some pronounced. But in any case, the child cannot cope with them without the support of an adult, without the protection of his parents, without confidence in them and himself.

Parents can provide the child with the most comfortable environment. By this I mean a clear regime, the stability of the family situation, the clarity and rationality of rules and boundaries, the acceptance of the child's personality, an adequate assessment of the child's activity.

Fear is considered a natural state of a person - a protective reaction of a healthy body to certain stimuli. In fact, fears protect against danger and many risks. And so, to some extent, they are useful. But, if adults have learned over the years to control their fears and interact with them, then children are not protected by knowledge from unknown and frightening things. Therefore, it is important for competent parents to learn in a timely manner to distinguish between moments when the natural reaction of the body threatens to develop into an obsession or even a phobia.

Types of fears in children 4-6 years old

Conventionally, children's fears can be divided into two types: real and fantasy.

Real fears

The real ones include those that have a completely understandable reason:

These fears are typical for babies at the age of two or three, and for four or six - they accompany several age periods.

fantasy fears

At the age of three or four, the child actively develops abstract thinking, which causes the appearance of another type of fear: fantasy. This group is generated by the imagination of children. It may include:

Causes of real fears and how to respond to them

Let's take a closer look at the main children's fears in children from 4 to 6 years old and try to figure out what adults need to do. With a competent approach and adequate support from parents, in the absence of conflicts in the family, children's fear is overcome quite quickly.

1. Fear of animals and insects

For some children, the fear of insects or animals is relevant.

What to do?

In such cases, it is recommended to change emotional condition baby - from frightening to interested. For example, go out into the field with him, find a spider there, put him on your palm. After that, you should explain to the baby that the spider is completely open in front of you, is not plotting anything and, on the contrary, is more vulnerable than people.

Telling interesting stories about animals and insects that the baby is afraid of can arouse curiosity on his part. The more the baby knows about the object of his fear, the faster he will get rid of fear.

In the case of a dog, you also need to create a benevolent background around the animal. Never yell at a child and do not intimidate that the dog may bite or infect something. Explain to the child that petting the dog without the permission of the owner is not allowed, and the first contacts with the animal should be made at a distance so as not to frighten them away.

Flip through books and encyclopedias about animals, visit exhibitions, demonstrate how to safely interact with insects and animals by your own example.

2. Fear of white coats

This fear is closely related to the fear of pain. An injection made by a person in a medical cap and a white coat, or an examination with unpleasant instruments, leaves the child with an association with unpleasant sensations for a long time. Children begin to panic fear of doctors and this fear is much stronger and more dangerous than the pain itself caused by the procedure.

What to do?

To reduce the fear of people in white coats, a few days before going to the clinic, tell your child about the work of a doctor. Play doctor with him, using the maximum of special medical tools: listen to him, examine the oral cavity, do other possible manipulations. Be sure to switch roles with him.

When communicating with a doctor and a nurse from the treatment room, be courteous and polite, watch your emotions: smile kindly, behave at ease - the child should see your calmness and confidence that he is not in danger.

If you have visited a dentist or vaccination room, do not forget to praise the baby for his patience and courage, even if his condition was the opposite. Leaving the clinic, try to immediately switch the attention of the crumbs to other objects: tell him interesting story, fairy tale.

3. Fear of loud noises

One of the innate human fears is the fear harsh sounds. Nature is arranged in such a way that a loud sound is a symbol of danger. Besides, loud sounds contribute to an overstrain of brain cells and lead to a disorder in the work of some organs. Therefore, the instinct of self-preservation makes the child shudder at sharp shouts, roar, or the rattle of cars.

What to do?

If the baby suddenly bursts into tears from thunder or other harsh noise, you should stand next to him, hug him and make it clear that you can protect him, he is safe next to you. Do not laugh at him, do not shame him, otherwise he will begin to hide his fear from you, but he is unlikely to be able to cope with it on his own.

It is best to start games with different sounds: from quiet to loud. For classes, a metallophone, sonorous metal spoons are suitable. Come along to the bustling children's holiday or a fun attraction where everyone squeals, screams and jumps. Joyful noise will gradually accustom the baby to loud sounds.

4. Fear of strangers

Fear of strangers arises in infancy and has quite obvious roots. It is formed at the physiological level - the baby subconsciously begins to feel the danger in a stranger. At the same time, he closes, lowers his head and hides behind a loved one.

At correct behavior parents' fear usually disappears by the age of three or four. But, if socialization at this age has not been started, it is worth paying special attention to the problem. Otherwise, the situation threatens to lower the child's self-esteem, negatively affect further communication with peers.

What to do?

Since fear in this case goes hand in hand with shyness, parents need to take the first steps themselves. For example, to approach with the baby on the playground to the children who are already communicating with each other. Talk to them, introduce them to your child. More often you should visit children's centers that develop classes, go to visit friends who have children of the same age.

If the baby is afraid to be alone with another adult, for example, with a nanny, you need to take a little more time to get to know each other. In order for the child to get used to strangers, it is necessary to spend some time together. As soon as the baby begins to trust a new person, be the first to contact him, you can safely leave them alone.

5. Fear of being alone

The fear of being without a mother for a long time is considered a common fear in babies. In no case should it be mistaken for spoiledness or unreasonable whims. The fear of losing your mother is quite natural and requires a delicate approach.

What to do?

Always explain to your child when you return. For example: - "After you sleep and eat an afternoon snack." It is recommended that such agreements be made on a regular basis. At the same time, one should not only benevolently negotiate with the baby, but also keep their promises in a timely manner.

6. Fear of the dark and nightmares

One of the most important childhood fears is the fear of the dark. The kid's fantasy develops rapidly, slipping him monsters, scary characters from cartoons, fairy tales, books that have climbed into the closet or under the bed.

What to do?

The main condition for combating the fear of the dark and fictional characters is a calm psychological atmosphere in the house. In no case should you scold the child for fear or throw indifferent phrases like this: “There is nothing to worry about.”

Reassure your child that he is completely safe. To do this, leave the door to his room open, buy a funny children's night light.

Offer to draw or sculpt someone he is afraid of, then give the hero a comical look and laugh at him together.

come up with an interesting fairy tale with a scary character from a child's imagination, ending it positively. Your hero should gradually turn into good friend and assistant.

Make it a rule to talk calmly with your child in his room before going to bed, read books, listen to calm music together. Bodily contacts, gentle words are appropriate.

7. Claustrophobia

The fear of the dark echoes the fear of closed spaces. The kid may not voice the problem and the parents notice it themselves, closing the door to his room in the evening, or stuck with him in the elevator. Frequent manifestations of claustrophobia are accompanied by panic attacks, dizziness. Children can run to their parents in the middle of the night and start crying.

This obsessive fear occurs more often in the only child in the family, who has restrictions in communicating with peers. Children especially suffer from it, receiving an excessive portion of affection and love.

What to do?

First of all, the child in such a situation should be reassured and taught to breathe evenly. Scolding for an unmotivated fear in your opinion is strictly prohibited. You can not go from the opposite and close it in the room.

Games aimed at overcoming the stiffness that occurs in a confined space are effective. For example, A. I. Zakharov, a specialist in the field of children's psyche, offers the psychological game "Penetration and exit from the circle."

The essence of the game is that adults and children stand in a circle, clasp their hands and close their eyes. At the same time, they declare out loud that no one can penetrate their circle - they carefully guard it and there is no place for any daredevils there. This phrase itself subconsciously incites the child to get into the circle. Players walk outside the circle and try to slip under one of the pairs of hands unnoticed. Having slipped into the middle, he claps his hands loudly and everyone opens their eyes in surprise. The second part of the game provides the same way out of the circle.

8. Fear of punishment

Even the most harmless punishment of a child can lead to unexpected consequences. Thanks to measures to close a naughty baby in a dark room, a closet or in another place with little light, he may develop several fears at once: fear of an enclosed space, darkness, loneliness, the appearance of nightmares in a dream.

In addition, such punishments break the psychological connection of the baby with adults, he feels the alienation of his parents, which in the future can lead to problems in marriage already in an adult.

What to do?

It is worth remembering that any oversight of a child is, first of all, precisely a parental omission in education. And, therefore, you need to punish yourself, not him. Any reprimand should always be expressed in the form of love for the baby. Otherwise, he will begin to associate the evil mother with Baba Yaga from a fairy tale, and his father with the Serpent Gorynych, which, in addition to the fears indicated above, will also give rise to fantasy ones. You can read more about this type of fear in the article “Fear of fairy-tale heroes and fictional characters”.

Causes of fantasy fears and how to respond to them

Waking up after good night, adults can stay for some time in a sweet euphoria, not separating the dream from reality. At such a moment, it is easy for them to understand children 4-6 years old, who are under the influence of their own rich imagination almost all day. Computer games, fairy tales, cartoons populate the world of kids with fictional characters, and sometimes even whole corporations of monsters.

1. Fear of fictional characters

A particularly impressionable child, while watching a children's program, a cartoon, or after reading a scary tale, can be frightened of an evil hero and "revive" him in his imagination at any time of the day.

An important role in this is played by parents who, with enhanced artistry, convey the images of a wolf, the mythical Babai or Baba Yaga. Some adults go even further - they scare the baby with the fact that there is some evil that can take a naughty child from their parents even without their knowledge.

What to do?

The fear of fictional characters is closely intertwined with the fear of punishment. Therefore, first of all, you need to completely exclude the manipulation of scary heroes in your own interests when you want to achieve impeccable behavior from the crumbs. Such intimidation can make his psyche unstable for a long time and in the distant future there is a risk of encountering real neuroses.

It is best to come up with a fairy tale in which a terrible main character becomes kind and begins to help everyone.

Appropriate art therapy. That is, evil can be drawn as funny as possible and make it vulnerable to the baby. For example, dress up a wolf as a firefighter and send to save people, and present Baba Yaga as a comical and good-natured old woman.

As soon as the child voices his fear, talks about it with an adult, in most cases the fear recedes almost immediately. Therefore, it is so important to just talk with the baby in a calm environment and convince him that he is completely safe.

2. Fear of nightmares

Children are most vulnerable at night when there are no adults nearby. Fear of nightmares is one of the most common fears in kids 4-6 years old. Unfortunately, he does not come alone, but complete with a fear of the dark, loneliness and confined spaces.

What to do?

Excitement before a nightmare is dangerous in itself. In such cases, parents should be mindful of a night light, an ajar door, and quiet conversations before putting the baby to bed.

It is appropriate to come up with magic words that will play the role of protection, allow you to take your favorite toy.

Gentle touches from mom, a relaxing massage, a kiss before bed are the best ways to convince the baby that he is loved, which means that he is protected.

What is important to consider in the fight against fears

1. Love, warmth, sincere participation of parents in solving problems with fears eliminate fear in the bud in half the cases.
2. You can’t scold and go from the opposite - forcing the baby to overcome fear by force. Only a gentle explanation and encouragement of situations where the baby manages to cope with fear on his own initiative will help.
3. Don't expect a quick effect. The fight against fear is a painstaking process that requires great moral return from parents.
4. If something doesn’t work out for you and the baby’s fear develops into a phobia, be sure to contact a specialist.

And best of all: create a safe environment at home. A child should always see a confident father and a tender, caring mother. Then there will be enough space for fears in his life for a while.

Video

Childhood fears. How to teach children to cope with fears? Parenting. Mom's school

The first independent steps of the baby is a very exciting moment in the life of the family.

It would seem that quite recently he learned to rise and stand near the support, then he began to carefully walk along the wall or sides of his favorite bed. And now he's gone. Myself!

However, after the first independent “outings”, the baby, for some reason, again begins to look for support, or even resumes crawling on all fours. Many parents wonder why the child is afraid to walk on his own?

Why can children refuse to walk independently?

Everyone is different, so the reasons why a child is afraid to walk alone , may have different origins. Consider together the most famous:

• The kid "grew up" in a walker. It often happens that they are used too often, because from the side it is so fun to watch how a child rushes around the house in these convenient devices. However, this also has reverse side: accustomed to "running", the child cannot control his speed without them, he simply cannot imagine how it is to run without a walker. Actual: When can I put a child in a walker >>>
• Fear of falling. Perhaps the baby had a sad experience in the first independent attempts to walk: he fell, and maybe he hit hard. Probably, there were several such unsuccessful experiments, and he chose more safe way movement.
• Cunning child. Such children are also common: walking in a confined space can quickly get boring, and it is tiring, you get tired quickly. Therefore, such children choose a less energy-intensive option - for example, crawling.
• Unreasonable refusal to walk. Such cases also take place. Sometimes a son or daughter simply refuses to go on their own, for no apparent reason. In this case, you can be advised to watch him in order to understand what caused this protest, why the child is afraid to walk on his own and what to do about it. .

What parents should do when the baby refuses to go on his own

Often parents begin to sound the alarm: the child is a year old, and he is afraid to walk on his own, how to help him?

1. Rule number one is not to force him to walk on his own against his will. Children who are afraid to walk on their own because they might fall are in great need of parental support. To inspire the baby to new attempts to walk, to insure him imperceptibly - and now he is no longer so afraid to walk on his own, without your support.
2. If laziness and cunning of a little tomboy are to blame, then they must be fought, for example, with the help of joint games. It is necessary to remove your favorite toys higher and away from the owner, so that he has an incentive to walk and get it as quickly as possible. Do you want your baby to walk on their own? Take away walkers, your baby is able to do without them completely. Once they are gone, he will want to resume his daily "adventures", only this time without outside help.
3. If the reason for the protest is not clear, then parents just need to wait a while. The baby feels better when his body is ready for a new stage of development. It is possible that during this period he is not yet physically ready to walk.

If you stick to these simple rules, it will become clear how to teach a child to walk on his own, without being afraid to let go of his mother's hand.

How parents can help their child walk on their own

Parents are the most important people in a child's life, so their help and support is an invaluable contribution to learning new skills. Now that the main reasons why the child is afraid to walk on his own are known, several solutions can be found for this problem:

• The emotional background of the crumbs half depends on how his parents feel. If the mother is afraid that he will walk, fall and hit, it is most likely that the fear of failure will be transmitted to the baby. If the mother does not worry, but encourages at each new step, then he feels calm and confident, walks calmly.
• If a child is afraid to walk independently without the hand of a father or mother, do not scold or shame him. This creates new stress and a new refusal to walk independently. Praise, pity, caress - and now he himself wants to take reciprocal steps towards his parents.
• Physical development - important point in solving the given problem. If the baby is constantly engaged, they do massage, morning exercises, they welcome water procedures, then the body develops and strengthens faster. If the baby is constantly physically active, then the fear of the first steps does not threaten him.
• Exploring at home is the best activity. This does not mean that a child can break dishes in the kitchen or delve into washing powder in the bathroom. This means that the baby should not be "stuck" in a walker or placed in an arena. Of course, these devices sometimes help out a young mother a lot, but you should not abuse them. A child who is accustomed to the “limited” space of the playpen or the saddle of a walker cannot get used to long distances and becomes very scared outside his usual “framework”.
• If your child, who is 1 year old, is afraid to walk on his own, "infect" him with your example - show at home and on a walk how fun it is to walk and run.

Each child has his own time when he can easily and confidently take the first steps. Wait for this time, do not rush and do not compare the baby with others.

Sometimes a child avoids contact with other children, in psychology this is called “fear of strangers”. This can happen at any age, starting from 8-9 months, and there are many reasons for this. How to save the baby from the problem and normalize his communication with peers so that he stops being afraid of them?

Why a child aged one year and older may be afraid of other children

There are many reasons why a child may be afraid of peers:

• offended on the site;
• hit;
• fear of uncontrolled actions towards oneself from others;
• inability to interact with children and find a way out of conflict situations;
• overprotective adults.

But speaking of fear of other children, you need to pay attention to the temperament and character of the child. Perhaps your baby is very shy, and therefore avoids contact with peers. In this case, he would rather prefer to communicate with someone he knows well, and not with a big noisy company. But if the baby starts to cry, starts screaming or says that he is afraid, it is worth considering. Observe its behavior to identify the cause of the problem.

Identifying a fearful child is usually not difficult, given the tension and anxiety in behavior, avoidance of the source of the threat, and a positive response to the question of the presence of fear.

What to do to make the baby stop being afraid of peers

Fear of peers has a very strong effect on the child. You can overcome it different ways. But first of all, it is necessary to determine the situation, to identify negative experience in kindergarten, school or any other team that influenced the formation of the baby's behavior.

How to play on the playground with a lot of children to overcome fear

In more younger age(from about two years old) parents need to help their child deal with fear starting small:

• having come to the site, ask the baby to say hello to the children, draw his attention to those whom he saw earlier;
• during the game, assign roles: one digs, and the other takes the machine with sand;
• do not let others offend your little one, he should have only positive emotions from the games, and he needs to be sure that in which case mom and dad will always protect him;
• so that the baby enjoys playing on the playground, in play centers and kindergarten, teach him to share, wait his turn and exchange toys, show him this by your example.

Two-year-old children have a need for communication, which will help to cope with the problem. Increasing interest in peers will eventually overcome fear.

Now there are a lot of children's centers for the development of children, where they learn to play and do something together. Try to enroll your child in a group where there are no more than ten people of his age, experienced teachers will also prompt and help you solve this problem.

Example of adults for three-year-olds

There are certain circumstances that contribute to the emergence of fears. These include features family education when parents are too protective or, conversely, practically do not pay attention to the child due to constant employment or unwillingness to caress him.

If the baby is constantly surrounded by his mother or grandmother, he feels that he does not need anyone else. Excessive care can do harm, because the chick needs to be released little by little from the nest and from under the warm wing, where it will not stay for life. Give your child more freedom - let him choose which toys to take to the sandbox and which playground to go to. Instill in the child a sense of self-confidence so that he grows up as a full-fledged personality.

A child's fears are often influenced by the words and actions of adults. For example, when a mother or grandmother says that she is afraid of dogs, illnesses, disasters, it will not be surprising if, after some time, the baby also starts talking about these topics and is just as afraid. Watch your words and actions, because they greatly affect the perception of the world by your child.

Before the age of 3, babies are more likely to communicate with adults, observe them, learn the rules of behavior and follow the actions with various items. Everything that happens around the child, he instantly “absorbs” it into himself like a sponge.

If the problem has already appeared, talk to the child. Support the baby, tell him about what you yourself were once afraid of. In more difficult cases, seek the help of a psychologist, he will help get rid of the fear of children.

The positive impact of fairy tales

Fairy tales will help in the fight against fears. While reading them, analyze with the child the situations described and the actions of the characters. Analyze in detail what the characters in the stories are afraid of and how they overcome difficulties. This will help the child to believe in himself.

Correct Behavior Model

Instill in the child the correct model of behavior. To do this, you need to develop sociability. Go to developmental classes, playgrounds, visit, and also invite friends with children to your home. It is important to teach the baby to be cordial and respect the order in a strange family. Introduce him to peers and show that they are great guys and you should not be afraid of them. Convince the baby that it is interesting and exciting to play with him, teach him perseverance in certain situations.

If a person from childhood is calm, confident and sociable, he will easily enter any team.

What not to do if the child has fears

1. Don't focus on an existing problem.
2. Don't say your baby's "diagnosis" out loud.
3. Do not discuss the situation with others, so as not to injure the child.
4. Do not force someone to be friends, do not impose communication.
5. Protect the child from offensive nicknames and any labels, because it is quite difficult to get rid of them.
6. Refer to other children as kind and sweet.

Experts point out that moms and dads different approach to children's fears. Women react more seriously to this problem, and men are simpler: in one case, they consider it necessary to support the baby, and in the other - to shame. That is why psychologists often have to work with parents (usually mothers and grandmothers), pointing out their mistakes in upbringing and behavior.

It is not necessary to work with fears for those parents who do not have the habit of teaching children to be afraid, and who do not reinforce the cowardly behavior of children.

Encyclopedia of Practical Psychology "Psychologos"

http://lib.komarovskiy.net/rabota-so-straxami-u-detej.html

The easiest way to overcome fear is to distract the child, switch his attention to a secondary problem. Try to ask the kid to draw his fears, to lose the situation with his parents. Children can cope with the problem themselves, it is important to tell them how to do it.

The main technique in working with fears in children is the removal of the child's fear of fear. ... Wordings: “Fear is not scary”, “Fear is normal, everyone is afraid, it’s not shameful to be afraid”, “Fear helps us, fear takes care of us”, “You need to accept your fear” - all these outwardly diverse suggestions have one inner task: a calm, fearless attitude of the child to those psychophysiological processes that are commonly called fear.

Encyclopedia of Practical Psychology "Psychologos"

http://lib.komarovskiy.net/rabota-so-straxami-u-detej.html

Children's fears are normal, but the role of parents is very important in solving this problem. Help the child cope, support him, talk to him and try to gradually get rid of fear. Surround the little person with warmth, care and love. Work on yourself, look at yourself from the outside, because children completely copy adults. Tell us how you deal with your fears. If you cannot solve the problem on your own, contact a child psychologist.

What to do, if the child is afraid? The topic of today's article Childhood fears: causes, consequences and how to overcome.

If a child is afraid ... Children's fears: causes, consequences and how to overcome.

Childhood fears- a natural reaction to the knowledge of the world. Small child still helpless, he has very little life experience. He can be frightened by thunder, barking dogs, a sudden blackout in the apartment and much more. To manifestations children's fears should be treated calmly, but not ignored. The child should not be alone with his fears, he needs support and help.

Usually three to four years kids get scared darkness, loneliness, closed space. If the child is afraid to fall asleep in the dark, sit with him before going to bed, tell him a funny, good fairy tale or some funny story. Put his favorite toy in bed. Let him fall asleep with it on table lamp or nightlight. Children's fears in no case need to be strengthened. If the child is afraid darkness or being left alone in a room, you can’t “harden” him, for example, lock one in a dark room to “get used to it”. This attitude can injure the psyche of the baby.

According to psychologists, children's fears cannot be considered whims and cannot be punished for them. Do not call the child a coward, do not make fun. What seems like a trifle to an adult, a child perceives in a completely different way. The child needs to feel understood. Explain to him that other children have the same fears, reassure him, tell him that nothing threatens him, that you will always be there. Show maximum sympathy for his condition.

In general, with young children, you need to laugh more, joke, distract them from unhappy thoughts. It should not be said that Baba Yaga or some other monster will come for him. Remarkable Russian publicist, author of many articles on pedagogical topics Nikolai Vasilyevich Shelgunov (1824-189) wrote that there is nothing worse than the intimidation of children by brownies, wolves, witches. " Feeling of fear, arising from a sense of self-preservation, of course, the most powerful feeling, - he noted in his Letters on Education, - and therefore it must be used not only with extreme economy, but more importantly, directed in the right direction.

Parents need to carefully and carefully teach children to overcome fears:

1. For example, you can use game correction methods. It is known that The best way get rid of feelings - express them. Child psychologists recommend drawing as a “cure” for fears. Children love to draw and will gladly fulfill your request. Invite the child to draw what he is afraid of. Then tear this drawing into small pieces and throw it away with the words: “This is what we did with your fear!”.

In the drawing, fear is in many ways already realized as something that has happened. By expressing his negative emotions on paper, the child will gradually become free from fear.

2. Another option is also possible - to make fear ridiculous, absurd. For example, “put on” a funny panama hat and huge galoshes on a painted monster, a cheerful sarafan with ruffles and frills on Baba Yaga, and add a pig tail to a wolf. Fear must be stripped of its halo of power.

3. Children's fears You can also win by playing situations. If the kid is afraid to go to the clinic - take a teddy bear, a hare, an elephant, a doll and play in the clinic. You can invite the child to compose a fairy tale in which he will be a brave and kind hero who defeats evil. Such an essay will help him feel more confident, stronger.

Night terrors

Sometimes children have night terrors. The child may wake up in the middle of the night, cry, scream. The cause of night fears is often various frightening impressions, especially if the child had them before bedtime. Therefore, do not tell scary stories to children at night, and, of course, it is completely unacceptable for them to watch horror films in the evening.

Evening scandals of parents can also contribute to the emergence of night fears in children. When a child begins to go to school, he has new, so-called "school" fears. He is afraid of not meeting the expectations of his parents, afraid of being late for school, not answering in class, afraid of being ridiculed by classmates. During this crucial period, maximum attention must be shown to the child, help to remove fears.

Children's fears are mostly temporary, and they pass faster where the child is surrounded by love and care, where from an early age they respect the individual. But sometimes fears become obsessive. If a child has constant increased anxiety, problems in mastering new skills, tics, obsessive in mastering the state of new ones, you should contact a specialist.

What can provoke and intensify children's fears?

Movies and cartoons where aggressive characters act. Children are very impressionable and heroes personifying evil can cause them a feeling of fear. Many modern Western cartoons are typical action films. They are filled with cruel scenes, menacing music sounds in them, heart-rending screams are heard. Under the influence of such cartoons, a gloomy, threatening picture of the world can form in a child.

Conflict between parents. In families where adults often quarrel, children grow up nervous, shy, they are more prone to anxiety than those who are brought up in a calm, favorable environment.

Excessive severity and exactingness of parents, when children are punished even for the slightest infractions. If a child is forced to do something for which he is not ready, they do not take into account the fact that he is tired or upset, they constantly repeat: “Not so, redo it, it’s bad again” - the child develops fears of censure and punishment. In such a family, he lacks warmth and kindness, and this can lead to the fact that he will feel unprotected against any danger.

Excessive anxiety and suspiciousness of parents negatively affect children. If parents are afraid of everything, then these fears will be transmitted to children. A child can turn into a little "man in a case" who is afraid of rain, wind, sleds, and swings. If adults in the family are optimistic about life, then it is easier for the child to get rid of fears.

Of course, reasonable caution in children must be brought up, moreover, they must be warned about possible dangerous situations. The child is gullible, it is unlikely that this childish gullibility can be blamed on him. But childish gullibility can lead to tragedy. It is very important, without undermining the child's faith in the goodness of the world, to teach him to see and recognize the real danger. by all possible ways explain to your son or daughter that there are also bad adults, communication with which threatens trouble. For a start, fairy-tale characters are also suitable, then use life examples. The duty of parents is to explain to the child how to behave with strangers how to avoid a possible attack.

A few rules for the personal safety of the child:

Avoid deserted places: wastelands, abandoned houses, sheds, attics, basements.

Don't walk until dark.

Don't go on long trips alone.

In crowded places, stay close to your parents, do not move away or run away.

At certain hours, call your parents on your mobile phone.

Do not open the door to anyone but your household.

Do not enter the elevator with strangers.

Never get into someone else's car, no matter what they promise you.

Don't take anything from strangers.

Answer all offers of strangers: "No!" - and be sure to leave. Tell your parents about these suggestions.

In a moment of danger, when they try to grab you, they use force - shout loudly, call for help, break out and run away.

Be vigilant if you notice a suspicious person next to the child - do not remain indifferent. A simple question: “Do you know this uncle (aunt)?” - can save a child's life.

We talked about what to do if the child is afraid. Considered the causes and consequences children's fears if you don't work with them.

Love to your family, joy, mutual understanding and “right fears”.

Don't forget to comment :)

Prepared by: Hakobjanyan Alena (Mom Alena :))

Gratitude for the materials provided to the journal "Prevention Ukraine" No. 7/79 2013 (www.zoj.com.ua).

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