Finding your soul mate is the dream of people of all ages. With the same frequency, this goal is pursued by both men and women. Some try their luck on the Internet, on various dating sites. Others are looking for a soul mate destined for the universe with the help of astrology. But the long-awaited soul mate is nowhere to be found. In this case, it's time to think and find the source of the problem. Perhaps it does not lie in the outside world, and failures in personal life act as a signal beacon calling for attention to the inner world.

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To get a result, you need to correctly set the task. Without accurate data about the person of your dreams, even if it is still imaginary, it is impossible to get a positive result. Usually, already at this stage, the searchers start having problems. And there is only one reason for the problems - a person does not know himself.

Finding a partner for life together should not turn into an obsession, otherwise it is nothing more than an escape from yourself. People who cannot stand their own society tend to fill their free time with communication with strangers. Left alone with themselves, they experience fear and even horror. Therefore, before thinking about finding a soul mate, you need to find out who the seeker himself is. You need to have a clear picture of your life. If a person is unhappy with himself, then together with someone he will only be more unhappy, and even risk ruining the life of another.

When an image of one's own personality has formed in the head, the question of the desired qualities of a partner will disappear by itself. A mature person knows what he loves and what he cannot stand. He understands how to become happy and what will make him deeply unhappy. For example, a sociable person who cares about frequent tactile and visual contact with his partner cannot stand an introvert immersed in the world next to him. computer games. Such a relationship will bring disappointment to both.

Refinement of coordinates

The next stage of the search is the specification of coordinates. An adult independent personality can easily get along with almost any person. The partner will be comfortable, but the seeker himself is unlikely. Only in fairy tales and movies does the love story of a “good girl and a bully” have a happy ending; in reality, people who have the same view of the world, common dreams and goals get along best.

Partners should be equal, then they understand each other perfectly. Therefore, the search criteria should be clarified, namely:

• Age.
• Income.
• The level of education.
• His goals and dreams.
• The presence of children.
• Does he want to have children.
• Religious affiliation (for example, people who profess Orthodoxy will find it difficult to get along with Muslims).

When looking for a partner, it is important to identify those qualities, habits and character traits that annoy. It is necessary to consider only your own thoughts, without consulting friends or parents. Only in this way will it be possible to identify true needs.

It is necessary to imagine the created image next to you in the smallest details. Scroll through the possible development of events and everyday difficulties in your head. When looking for a partner to create a family, it is important to realize what role everyone is ready to play in family life. For example, an adherent of a traditional, patriarchal system will not get along with an emancipated woman. It is important to understand that a life position is an important part of a partner; it cannot be corrected without harming the human psyche. And that is psychological abuse.

Search methods

The desire to quickly feel the joy of love adventures often pushes people to rash, chaotic actions that lead to new disappointments. Of course, in order to find your person among the thousands of "wrong ones", you need to significantly expand your circle of contacts. But you can not rush into new acquaintances headlong. If the goal is a fleeting romance, lasting a maximum of several months, this is the right tactic. Building long-term relationships requires a serious approach.

To find happiness in your personal life, you need to check your imaginary ideal more often. This is not a waste of time, but a natural filter. Only partners united by one idea can live soul to soul for many years. Therefore, when choosing a place to meet, you should take into account your hobbies, otherwise there is a great risk of once again starting a stormy romance with your opposite. For example, active people should meet in places of active recreation: camping trips, a gym or thematic groups in the Internet. Fans of creativity - at exhibitions, museums, master classes and various courses.

Partners should experience unity in all plans:

• psychological compatibility.
• Physiological attraction.
• Social identity (an introvert will find it difficult to get along with an extrovert).

If compatibility is present at all three levels, this alliance is practically invulnerable.

If a closed person is engaged in a search, then a chaotic search gives a positive result. Natural modesty will not allow you to contact inappropriate people, and gaining new knowledge will improve communication skills, significantly expanding your social circle.

When looking for a partner by date of birth, it is important to take into account a number of factors: if the person of interest has the same horoscope as the seeker, this is not a guarantee of a harmonious union. If the object of adoration is older or too young, significant communication difficulties may arise due to the difference in upbringing.

Why didn't it work?

Often, even despite all attempts, relationships still do not add up, and a person begins to fall into new extremes. He either withdraws into himself and denies the possibility of finding his other half, or, conversely, becomes socially activated and exhausts himself with attempts at self-improvement. There is nothing wrong with self-development if it is done with passion and interest. But in most cases, love disappointments make people doubt their own worth, and this becomes a motivator to acquire new skills. This is a destructive path that leads to unhappiness in love and dissatisfaction with life.

To prevent this from happening, it is important to understand that searching is normal. Even if it lasts a long time, it doesn't matter. The reason for the failed relationship is not in the seeker, but in the fact that there was a "wrong" person nearby.

You can often come across a situation: a luxurious woman over 35 years old is looking for a man over 40 years old. She is self-sufficient, has a great body, a lot of vitality, is happy with her life, plays the piano and learns Spanish. A grown man. She finds on a dating site a profile of a man she likes, who has similar interests. But there is one "but", he is looking for a girl under 25. The result is disappointment. But the point is not that something is wrong with the seeker, but that this particular man needs a girl under the age of 25. He is in dire need of naive enthusiastic looks and spontaneity, while the seeker is looking for a stable partner for life.

The presence of common interests is not an indicator of success in a couple, it is important to strive for similar goals, have the same view of the world and lifestyle. It is important to remember that thinking about unfinished love leads to depression. Therefore, it is very important to monitor your psychological state and fill your free time not with self-flagellation, but with your favorite activities and live life to the fullest.

According to statistical studies, people are most attracted to interlocutors with a similar or related profession. For example, make-up artists most often marry hairdressers or beauticians; doctors - with medical staff, and designers - with secretaries and editors. This experiment once again proves that in order to build a harmonious life filled with love, it is important first of all to take care of yourself: career, hobbies, skills development, and become a happy person. Then the right partner will be found by itself.

And some secrets...

I looked at my husband in fascination, and he did not take his admiring eyes off his mistress. He acted like a lovesick jerk...

Hello to all those who yearn for love and happy relationships!

Today we will analyze the way how to find a soul mate.

I already wrote about how well the technique for writing a list of qualities of an ideal life partner works in an article.

Today I will continue this topic and quote a chapter from the book by Ariel Ford, in which she gives detailed instructions how to make this list and what to do with it then.

Important! If you are increasingly thinking about how to meet your love, your soul mate,

How to meet your soul mate?Order!

When you walk into your favorite coffee shop, what is your first action?

Of course, you place an order!

You confidently say to the bartender:

"I'd like a classic espresso with milk foam, no sugar, to go, please."

The bartender smiles, writes down your order and takes your money. In a few minutes you go outside with a fragrant cup of coffee - exactly the one you ordered.

Order your soul mate in the Universe it happens in much the same way. You simply declare: looking for a soul mate!

It doesn't always run as fast, but it can be just as accurate. Here is the key that will help you unlock the power of the universe: you must clearly place your order.

Of course, ordering the love of your life requires more thought than ordering your favorite cup of coffee.

To do this correctly, you must first examine your heart and find out exactly its desire.

I am sure that by now you are quite clear about what you are you do not want see in your future partner. However, this is not enough to attract your soul mate. You have to ask yourself what exactly are you want to, and the more clearly and specifically you ask, the easier it will be for the universe to respond to your order.

Now is the time to think deeply and sincerely about your individual goals, desires, tastes and preferences.

When you figure out what is really important to you in every area of ​​life, you will begin to send out strong and constant signals that will attract a partner with a similar scale of values ​​​​and goals.

But if you allow yourself to hesitate too long, or fall into the well-known trap of "leaving all options open," then you can completely confuse the Watcher of Cosmic Order.

Recently, I taught a 45-year-old woman named Colin, who for almost her entire adult life wondered how to find a soul mate.

I started by asking her what qualities she is looking for in a man and what kind of lifestyle she wants to create.

I asked her a question that I thought was straightforward enough: "Do you want kids?" and was greatly surprised that she could not give me a direct answer.

After doing some reconnaissance, I found out that she doesn't really like the idea of ​​raising someone else's young children, but she thinks that if she doesn't compromise, she will significantly reduce her chances of meeting a person of similar age and interests.

Part of her knew that the lifestyle she wanted didn't involve children, but another part was afraid to admit it.

How clean do you think it sent a signal to the Universe?

In trying to insure, Colleen not only compromised her desires, but also made it incredibly difficult for the universe to find the right person for her.

Compromises and factors preventing further communication

Over dinner one night, I started telling my husband Brian about a blind date our mutual friend Roberta had recently been on.

Apparently, this man had a nasty habit that he was completely unaware of.

From what Roberta said, he was constantly making strange sucking sounds with his mouth, even when he wasn't eating.

When I told this story to Brian, he looked up from his meal, put down his fork, and looked me straight in the eye.

"Well," he said, " this absolutely unacceptable."

We each have our own unique preferences and set standards, and what seems completely normal to one person may not be acceptable to another.

There must be some compromise in any relationship, and I am not suggesting that you and your ideal partner can enjoy life without the slightest concession.

Compromises and flexibility towards the needs of the other person are part of the growth of both the couple and the individual.

However, if you have realized that being with a certain person requires you to compromise on one or more of your principled positions, then I would suggest that he is not the right partner for you.

If you are madly wanting children and have met a person who is turned off by one of their kind, then this is the very factor that prevents further communication.

Creating a list of desirable qualities for your significant other is a great way to define your core values. The more clearly you are aware of them before you meet your soul mate, the easier it will be for you to recognize your “one and only”.

God is in the details

When you decide in which areas you are ready to make concessions, and in which you are not, you will be ready to make your list.

First, consider all aspects of the life you dream of.

Imagine what you want to do with your partner and how you want to feel in his presence.

Here are a few questions to help you build and refine your list.

• What do I want to feel when I wake up in the morning next to my loved one?
• What kind of lifestyle will we have? Are we both workaholics, or homebodies, or a combination of the two?
• How are we going to spend our weekends? Hiking, going to the movies, cultural events Or just walking around the house?
• Will we have or will we want children? And am I ready to accept other people's children in my life?

Describing to the Universe the characteristics by which you are looking for your future partner, it is as if you are typing a keyword in the Internet search box.

The more clearly you define a query, the more likely it is that the search will highlight exactly what you need.

You are making a very important order to the Universe, so when you make your list, make sure it includes two criteria:

1) My soul mate is single, heterosexual (homosexual) (yes, you have to be so specific) and ready for healthy, gentle, reliable and long term relationship(or marriage, if that's your wish).

2) My significant other lives within ……… km from me or wants to move here. If you're willing to move to be near your loved one, but still want to live in a particular state or city, ask for that as well.

Do not forget to write that he wants to start a family and have children! (note by the author of the blog)

When I first created my list of soul mate characteristics, it was quite long, specific, and included 48 items.

One of the characteristics that spontaneously came to mind when I picked up a pen and paper was gray hair.

I never could figure out why, besides, hair color wasn't important to me up to this point, but I just had the idea that he should have gray hair.

And, of course, when I met Brian, not only did he have gray hair (he went gray very early, in his thirties), but he also had all the qualities on my list, except for two: he was not Jewish and he could not Cook.

These two mismatches did not become for me decisive factor because I'm not so orthodox, and suffice it to say that we always eat on time.

Creating a List of Desirable Qualities for Your Partner

How to find a soul mate destined by fate? To begin with, I suggest that you write down a list of some qualities and personality traits. Below I will give an example.

Review it before creating your list.

Important! Write down for yourself only those qualities that seem really important to you. And if in doubt, take my advice and

If you have ex-lovers that you have fond memories of (or perhaps you are still friends with), then think about what you valued most about them.

This may give you a clue as to the type of person you are willing to share your life with. Take your time and create your own list, whose length should depend only on your desire.

• secured
• Gentle
• Ambitious
• Able to express thoughts clearly
• Worthy of admiration
• Nice
• Vigorous
• Caring
• charismatic
• Tactful
• Creative
• Attractive
• Enjoys ________ (add your own - dogs, cats, traveling, singing)
• The world that perceives the same with me
• Family Oriented

• Compliant
• Funny
• Happy
• Healthy
• Independent
• Generous (you can add - in relation to money, time, love, etc.)
• Excellent relationship (with family, children, | ex-wife, etc.)
• Likes _______ (cooking, playing golf, skydiving and anything else you

want)

• Loving
• Ready to help
• Playful
• Sexual
• Emotional
• spiritually open ( or attends a church, temple, mosque, etc.)
• quick-witted
• Successful
• Ready to help (with your career, dreams! triathlon training, etc.)
• Talented

It may seem to you that you already know what you want, but at the moment when you clearly voice your desire, its features and feelings, you increase the tension between yourself and your lover at least a hundred times.

Listing

After you have considered the perceived qualities that you think are important in a partner, make a list with a pen on a pretty piece of paper.

As you write each word, imagine that you are living with your loved one right now and thank him for being in your life.

Feel the joy, happiness, passion and peace of knowing that you are reunited with your beloved again.

Exemption from the list

After creating the list, you need to get rid of it with the help of a special sacred ceremony.

By symbolically releasing it, you stop trying to figure out how, where and when your soul mate will appear and let the Universe take care of all the details. You no longer think every minute

As Deepak Chopra writes in his book "Sevenspiritual laws of success":

In order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you need to stop thinking about it. This does not mean that you have to give up the intention to achieve your dreams, but you do not need to constantly think about the result.

Choose a special day for this ritual.

It could be the full moon, the birth of a new moon, Friday (the day of Venus, the goddess of love) or any other day that you consider special.

Decide on a time of day that seems right for you.

First, read your list aloud, feeling every word, character trait, and dream seep through you.

Then, believing that your desires have been heard and accepted, put the list in a fireproof dish and set it on fire.

As your list turns to ash, know that your deepest desires have been handed over to invisible forces that will control time and place, guiding you to meet your soul mate.

Take the ashes and scatter them over water (over the ocean, river, lake, etc.), and if this is not possible, bury them in the garden.

Sit quietly for a few minutes with your eyes closed, feeling your heart opening and expanding and realizing that your prayers have been heard by the forces of the universe.

With your calm heart, send a message to your beloved that you are eager to see him soon.

If you don't like the idea of ​​burning your list, you can read it out loud, then fold it over and place it inside the red or pink balloon filled with helium.

Take the ball to an open beautiful place and release it. As the balloon soars high into the sky, know that your prayers will soon be answered.

Or you can do what my friend Daniella did. She placed this list in a sealed envelope and placed it under her mattress, thus bringing closer the day when she would lie on it with her lover.

celebration

The final phase of the ritual of freeing yourself from your soul mate's list of desirable traits is to create your own personal celebration.

You can simply enjoy a glass of champagne in an elegant setting, radiating love to those around you, or you may feel like preparing a gourmet meal, setting a table for two, lighting candles, turning on beautiful music and enjoying the joy of knowing that the wheel of fate is already set for you and yours. beloved.

Whichever type of celebration you like best will be the perfect one.

I invite you to my free master class, where I tell you how I met my love after several years of loneliness.

Now you know, how to find your soul mate. Wish you luck!

Can our train leave us?

There is one interview on the site perejit.ru that is especially helpful for those going through a breakup. It is called "Your train will not leave you." The main idea of ​​this interview is that you will not lose your person. If you lost a person, then it was not your person.

This sounds very comforting and helps a lot in the stage of "acute grief", that is, in the first 3-7 days after breaking up. But this statement is not true in the sense in which it is understood by those who accept this consolation.

It is true in a higher, divine sense. Indeed, God knows the name of the person with whom we will connect our lives.

But He does not know this name because He Himself ordained this person for us. He knows this name because He knows what actions and what mistakes we will make along the way.

God is an amazing being, unknowable to the end. There is no time for God, no yesterday or today. That is why He knows everything.

But He doesn't force anyone on us. We are free people, there is no place for fatalism in our life. Yes, God, the guardian angel is doing everything necessary so that we have the opportunity good choice so that we can choose a person with whom we can be happy. But we make the choice. And if we make a mistake, we bear the brunt of the consequences of that mistake.

Many unbelievers say that if there was a God, there would be no evil, pain and wars on earth. Such people imagine God as something like a chess player, and people as dead chess pieces. There is no point in discussing whether such a god would be better than the real God or not. There is a God who exists. And He wanted to give us freedom, He wanted to make us not dead, but alive and even similar to Himself. But the flip side of freedom is responsibility for the consequences of our actions.

So, on our human level, our train can get away from us. We may lose our man.

Does our train exist?

We all make mistakes. Therefore, it would be completely sad if there were only one single person of ours, and we, by all means, had to find him in the entire mass of mankind, and preferably not by the age of 70. Fortunately, this is not the case. The story of the only "soul mate" is an ancient myth invented by the ancient Greek philosopher Plato.

In fact, there are quite a few people who are suitable for us as wives and husbands. A lot of people have experienced parting with a person who seemed to them the only half, the best person on earth, and then, and sometimes even quite quickly, was new person, even better, even closer and fitting.

The assertion of some people that they are monogamous is also questionable. How do we know that we are monogamous? Everything is tested by experience, you need to open your heart to new love and then we'll see if it's capable of loving again. And if a person consciously or subconsciously decides not to love anyone else (this is in our power), then this is not monogamous, but simply, in my opinion, a person with psychological problems. Which, fortunately, can be resolved.

Is there such a thing as monogamy at all? Monogamous - is that a person who loves neither friends, nor parents, nor God, but only one person of the opposite sex? This is simply impossible. If a person does not love either parents or friends, then he cannot love anyone. And if he loves at least someone else, it already means that the heart is not one-sided, and the person is not monogamous. And maybe love someone else.

Therefore, each of us has at least a few people with whom it is easier for us to achieve mutual love than with others. But even if we do not connect our lives with one of them, this is not an unambiguous disaster. As you know, if you get a good wife, you will be happy; if you get an evil one, you will become a philosopher. Something like this said Socrates, who had an evil wife, and he really became a philosopher. Of course, becoming a philosopher is not a great achievement. But to become a patient, humble person, to remain faithful to a person with whom it is difficult, these are no small acquisitions that will allow us to approach the hour of death with dignity and confidence. But I am convinced that love will increase in this case, and the highest and brightest.

But, nevertheless, we wish ourselves, and God wishes us a happier path. This is also one of the amazing properties of God. We have heard the phrases “God loves us”, “God is love”, but they usually sound to us as something abstract, this love for us is like the warmth of distant stars. So it’s even hard for us to believe that the words in the prayer rule and liturgical texts, in which we ask ourselves and each other a painless death, salvation in various sorrows, relief in various hardships, are not our weakness, but what God Himself desires US.

It helps me to realize God's love for us by the memory of two situations when I was in danger on the evening Moscow streets - to suffer or even die. In both cases, even before the beginning of the events themselves, I felt some kind of incomprehensible, external excitement, and a sharp mobilization of forces. It wasn't my excitement. Just at that moment, a special calmness and determination came to me. I had no reason to worry, because I did not know what awaited me. So it was someone else who worried and cared about me. I'm sure it was a guardian angel. It is clear that if I had suffered, this would not have been my sin. And, let's say, if I ended up in the hospital after these incidents, perhaps these tests would be useful for me. But even despite the possible benefit of these trials for me, the guardian angel did not want them for me and saved me from them. So God treats us the same way...

We have every right to desire and seek one of those people with whom we will be happier and whom it will be easier for us to love. We will conditionally call such a person our person. But still not half. People become halves already in marriage.

Five main regrets of dying people are known, compiled by Brony Way based on her work with such people in a hospice. It's good to know, so I'll give full list these regrets:

1. I regret that I did not have the courage to live the life that was right for me, and not the life that others expected of me.

2. I'm sorry that I worked so hard.

3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I'm sorry that I didn't keep in touch with my friends.

5. I wish I had allowed/allowed myself to be happier.

In the aspect of our topic, we will pay special attention to points 1 and 5. When choosing a life partner, we need to think a lot, work, look for someone who is right for us. And we should not be afraid of our desire to be happy.

Why are we missing our train?

Many people complain that they are lonely or that they are not with the people they would like to be with. Remember, like Yevtushenko:

"This is what's happening to me.

Not the one that comes to me

Puts his hands on my shoulders

And he steals from me from another ... "

This is not surprising, given that most of us are psychologically not adults, we do not live consciously and do not see the connection between our views, actions and consequences. To find "your person", it is very important to understand what exactly prevents us from meeting or seeing him.

First. If you want a prince, be a princess.

There is often a mismatch between who we dream of and who we are. For example, if we dream of linking our lives with a person who is pure, decent, faithful, but we ourselves are not such, then, firstly, we ourselves will not be able to discern and evaluate such a person when we meet him, and secondly, it will be difficult for him to evaluate us. Therefore, you need to either become more modest in your requirements, or (which, of course, is more correct), become worthy of the happiness that we dream of.

Second. The influence of the media and public opinion.

The brains of those who are now thirty or less have been brainwashed since childhood. The images of the same princesses in American children's cartoons disorientate girls as early as 3-5 years old. Ill-bred, immoral, sensual, lazy, inept, cruel, spoiled - these qualities of American cartoon princesses are directly opposite to the qualities of real Russian, German and English princesses of the 19th century, as we know them from a lot of documentary evidence.

A person got a little older - and the images of "stars" began to "shine" him - actors, musicians, as well as businessmen and officials-thieves. The filth of whose personal life, whether we want it or not, clogs the souls of those who are at least somewhat interested in it.

As a result, women place undue importance on a man's financial success, and men on a woman's sexual attractiveness. In decency, purity, happiness is not rich, but large family many do not even believe. They didn't hear about it - they didn't see it on TV.

We are influenced not only by the media, but also by the environment. Girlfriends, friends can envy someone else's "happiness" and thus form in us an image of such happiness as desirable for us. But firstly, we do not know how much happiness there really is and how long it will last. Secondly, even if it is happiness, it is someone else's. It may not suit us. We need our own happiness.

Third. Mistakes, weaknesses, sins.

Sin always leads to pain, to suffering. In personal, family life, this is especially evident. Most typical situation- when we succumb to the attractiveness of a person and fall into fornication. There is a certain connection, a certain relationship - and we begin to live with this person, allowing more and more compromises with our conscience, and moving further and further away from ourselves and from our happiness.

Point three is closely related to point one. If we do not live a spiritual life, do not work on ourselves, there is little chance of avoiding such mistakes.

Fourth. psychological scenarios.

It often happens that a person himself is good, of a sound worldview, seems to be worthy of happiness, but for some reason chooses those with whom this happiness is impossible. And again and again steps on the same rake. Or point-blank does not see the one with whom he will be fine. The reason for this is in the scripts embedded in the human subconscious. What are these scenarios and how are they formed?

The most obvious scenario is our tendency to choose a person who looks like a parent of the opposite sex. It's not bad if the parents' family is strong, full of love. And if not? If the mother cheated and left her father? If the father is a domestic tyrant? Psychologists are well aware that if a girl marries a drunk, most likely her father or grandfather was an alcoholic.

Often scenarios are inspired by our parents. A single mother can inspire her daughter with distrust of men, program her that the female share is to be unhappy in her personal life. And a girl grows up who subconsciously does not feel her right to be happier in love than her mother. And, of course, when good, decent men meet on her way, she bypasses them - after all, happiness is possible with them!

Even a single strong childhood impression can have a huge impact on us and interfere with us all our lives if we do not detect and neutralize this “mine” in our subconscious.

I know a woman who had a full parental family, but who in childhood saw a bitter example of betrayal in a family of relatives, and to this girl the woman who was cheated on, at the peak of pain, said with great feeling: “You can’t give them your heart.” This girl then all her life was afraid to trust someone with her heart, to suffer from betrayal. And she never married.

I know a man whom, for some reason, classmates in childhood portrayed on the wall newspaper as a henpecked man. This upset him very much, and he said to himself: “I’d rather not marry at all than become henpecked.” And this program operated in it for many years. He married, but already at a fairly mature age, a young girl who, by her age and intellect, had no chance to get the better of him. But on his way there were many women, smart and strong, more worthy of him.

The script can also be laid in adulthood, in the love relationships we have experienced. We can take what we have experienced as a standard and subconsciously look for repetitions, look for opportunities to re-enter the same river that has already become shallow. Or we can be scared and afraid of repeating what we experienced, transferring to the innocent the features of the one who hurt us.

You need to analyze your life, starting from childhood, compare the past and present, find the reasons for your behavior, your preferences. If we find it, it is not difficult to overcome this scenario. A wound inflicted by a word is healed by a word. We can say healing words to ourselves, or we can resort to the help of a psychologist.

How to know your person

If we have the right worldview, we understand what love is, what a family is, we work on ourselves, but when the decisive choice comes, doubts arise. And if they do not arise, it is worth calling them artificially. This is too important a decision to make without testing and reasoning. What to pay attention to, what to do to reduce the likelihood of error?

Reciprocity and the nature of feelings

Your feelings should be like love, not like passion or love addiction. And although we have devoted a separate chapter to this topic, to recognize true love not always possible. Its important feature is its quiet state. This is not a flame, not an explosion, not a fire.

And, in any case, the feelings should be mutual. This is also a feature of true love.

Matches

The easiest way to check the probability of the right choice is by those coincidences of yours that are very, very desirable for the happiness of family life.

To analyze the qualities of a person, it is desirable to be familiar with him for about a year, sometimes six months can be enough. And not just acquaintances, but to experience a certain experience of communication with him. To see him in labor, in difficulties. See in communication with friends and with parents. How he treats his parents is how he will treat you later.

What to pay attention to?

First of all, on his worldview, system of values. What is the meaning of life for him? How does he understand the purpose of the family? How does he understand his and your role in the family, the distribution of responsibilities? What does he think about the birth and upbringing of children? How many children does he want? What are his religious beliefs?

Secondly, on the relationship between his parents. In many ways, it will repeat the model of parental relationships. How much do you like them? How similar is the relationship between your parents? It is very good if the similarities are great.

The level of education and material condition also matters. The closer these levels are, the better.

Cultural and national differences. In our time of great mixing of peoples, the temptation of mixed marriages is high. A Russian woman can marry a man from the East or a Western European. Sometimes such marriages turn out to be happy. But on average, the chances of creating a strong, healthy, happy family several times lower than with people of your culture. Have you weighed everything enough to take such a risk?

A large age difference also reduces the chances of a family. Optimal Difference aged no more than 5 years. Often there are happy marriages where the husband is 10-20 years older than the wife. But if the wife is significantly older than the husband, the chances of maintaining the marriage fall sharply.

After all, in a world of more than seven billion people, it's hard to imagine that each of us can find the perfect partner.

But many, confident in the existence of soul mates, understand this concept in a completely different way. They believe that the second half is the person with whom you immediately find mutual language, the one who sees and accepts you for who you are, and, at the same time, helps you become the best version of yourself.

The second halves do not have to be connected by romantic ties These could be best friends, close relatives or teachers. And, moreover, such relations are not at all obliged to proceed easily and easily, without quarrels and conflicts all the time.

"The second half is not always a gift in a bright wrapping paper; Relationships won't always be perfect, says Kaylen Rosenberg. “However, the difference from simple communication is that life circumstances and difficulties only strengthen such relationships, bind people together, carry them through obstacles and trials, revealing each of them.”

Read also:How to learn to read the energy of another person

1. Time spent with this person gives you a feeling of comfort and calm, even at the very beginning of a relationship.

“As soon as Randy and I made eye contact at our first meeting after meeting on Messenger, I stopped worrying about the fact that I had just met for the first time live with a complete stranger from the Internet.

It was like in that song, “I feel good in my soul, it’s good” – something in him seemed so familiar and dear to me that I immediately felt comfortable with him.

I didn’t have those butterflies in my stomach when you can’t take your eyes off the charismatic handsome man staring at you; on the contrary, as if my soul accepted him as its missing part. When we first met, time seemed to stop - I heard only the beating of my heart and saw only it" - Ashley Durham.

2. You may be very different, but you balance each other out.

© Michal Collection

"I realized that my wife is my soulmate when I realized that what we differ on balances our relationship, and what we have in common makes me better. This is an exciting surreal feeling that knocks you off your feet like-made-for-me" - Renit Frini

3. You "feel like a liver" that you are suitable for each other

“When I met my soul mate, I had no idea what it really meant, and in my thoughts on this topic there was only what society instills in us - in the style of “and they lived happily ever after ...”

© Viktor Solomin

I was on vacation in Maui with my girlfriends, and I was sitting at a bar when a man approached me and asked if I would go to the wedding with him. His best friend got married and needed a mate.

The next morning I woke up, regretting his decision, but when he called me and left a voice message where he said that he just needed to know my last name, and asked what I would eat - chicken, beef or fish, I felt that this was fate.

I went with him to the wedding, we got to know each other better, kissed, and then- 10 years of wonderful relationship. Then it seemed to me that I had known him all my life, and (although we met suddenly) when he kissed me, this feeling only intensified. I was sure that I had found my soul mate.

Our relationship has been going on for over 10 years. and he is still with me in my heart and my soul. I think that's what defines your soul mate: a bond that never breaks." - Christy Jacobs

4.

“I immediately knew that this was my soulmate, because our views on life, our principles and our lifestyles just matched perfectly - and at the same time, we lost our heads from love for each other.

© DAPA Images

I was madly in love with him and realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man., already literally on the second week of relations. We spent so much time together, and the feelings that we both experienced was simply impossible to describe - something like "when you know, you just know."

It felt as if some unknown force lifted me up to the seventh heaven every day from happiness. I then somehow called my best friend to tell me that I had met the dream of my life, and she asked if I was drunk (although I hardly drink at all), in such a happy state I was" - Amanda Oleander

5. You were with this person in the most difficult moments, and you still love him.

"I met my soul mate when I was studying for exams for a bachelor's degree, which I hated, and my life was falling apart before my eyes. We rented an apartment together, sharing the same kitchen.

© Kzenon

I didn't even understand what happened then. T It was only when I decided to return home and start over that I realized that she was my soul mate. The one who saw me in all my glory and didn't try to escape. It's been three years and she's still mine best friend and we travel together through more and more adventures and trials" - Olivia Fraser

6. You care so much about each other that sometimes you really feel their pain.

“I knew I had found my soul mate when his pain became my pain. We went to college together and during recess we talked about a relative of his who had recently been admitted to the hospital.

© Monkey Business Images

I saw how hard it was for him, and as soon as we left for classes, I locked myself in the toilet stall, screaming and praying that everything was fine, that he would not suffer anymore. Realizing that I cared about his family as well as my own - people I had basically never met - helped me realize just how strong my feelings for him were." - Holly Riordan

7. You feel a kind of electricity when you touch them

"When you meet your soul mate, you immediately fall in love- unexpectedly, unintentionally, accidentally - and this is an incomparable, soul-stirring, knee-trembling feeling that will never happen again.

© CherriesJD/Getty Images

You intuitively understand that this person is a natural extension of you, without warning, without effort, without compromise. The attraction is wild. When you hold hands, the air sparkles between you, so you are an ideal couple. The amount of time spent together is of no importance, only the time when you are not together is tangible." - Jody Meltzer Darter

8. Your relationships can be difficult at times, but difficulties only help you grow.

"Second halves are our mirrors revealing to us all our wounds and scars that need to be healed, and frankly, it hurts. Some choose to run away, and this is one of the reasons why such relationships break down from time to time. You disperse, converge again, and disperse again.

© MM Productions / Photo Images

When you are far away, you still feel like you are together. because it is, energetically. This feeling of connection draws you back to each other to try again - and so on until it hurts again. Time after time in some cases - as in mine, for example" - Jacobs

9. You feel like you can take off your mask and be yourself when you're around this person

"The soulmate is your best friend. Your comrade. The only person you show all the weird, awkward, twisted sides of yourself that you normally hide from others." - Riordan

© Maridav

10. You realize that this person came into your life to teach you something.

"Your significant other is your most the best teacher: the one who challenges you, drives you crazy, awakens your deepest desires and pulls on the most secret triggers of feelings. The second half is the one who teaches you to realize yourself, to understand what you want from life and from love.

© RossHelen

Unfortunately, some people end relationships with their significant other due to difficulties. arising on the way to experience. Others do not end relationships on time, which also prevents them from learning lessons that could teach them a lot and bring them closer to happiness - and this is what we all want and deserve" - ​​Rosenberg

All people have different desires and life goals. But men and women have one common aspiration. Namely, finding your soul mate.

The second half is a soul mate with whom you will live many happy years.

Some people do not see anything difficult in finding "their" person. They easily converge with representatives of the opposite sex, easily start relationships and also simply stop them.

But we will not talk about fleeting hobbies now. It's about finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

We are convinced that every person has a soul mate. Sometimes in order to find it you have to change more than one partner. Many people feel truly happy only in their third or fourth marriage.

Some women and men who have not had a serious relationship see their fate in every acquaintance or acquaintance. This is a very wrong attitude. Such alliances most often do not end well.

The second half or life partner is a person whose shortcomings you are ready to put up with.

Before you start actively looking for a soul mate, think about the fact that there are no ideal people. Each has its pros and cons. Therefore, you will have to adapt to another person, change yourself and your life.

If this fact does not scare you, we will tell you where to start your search.

Every woman wants a prince for her husband, and a queen for a man. But in order to attract the attention of the person you like, you need:

1. Take care of your appearance.
2. Love yourself.
3. Smile at people more often.
4. Be a self-sufficient person.

These are the minimum requirements that must be met. Now let's take a closer look at each item.

Neat appearance

If you can go out in unpolished shoes, slightly wrinkled clothes or with peeled nail polish, then you are unlikely to like the people who are interested in you. Most likely, a representative of the opposite sex with the same dirty shoes, unwashed hair, etc.

But you are looking for a prince, so think about what should match him. What do we mean by this?

• Take care of your appearance and personal hygiene. It is unacceptable if an unpleasant odor comes from you (for example, from the mouth, or from the legs).
• Dress stylishly and tastefully. If you do not have extra money for new fashionable things, try to give a second life to the ones you already have, especially since the fashion for many gizmos is returning. Revisit your wardrobe. There certainly are things that never go out of fashion. It's about business attire. The main thing is to successfully combine the individual components of the outfit.
• Don't neglect accessories. Accessories are a trifle that can complete the image and give it some zest. Well-chosen glasses, a brooch or jewelry will surely give you self-confidence.

If you doubt your beauty and attractiveness, then try changing your image or hairstyle. Many women, changing the color of their hair, their length, etc., are sure that by changing themselves, changes will definitely occur in their lives.

Self love

In order to find a soul mate for a woman, she needs to learn to love herself. Think about how hard it is to love a person who does not love himself. People with a lot of complexes are eternal whiners with complaints about life, those around them and themselves.

If you can classify yourself as such a category of people, then immediately take care of it. You can attend several trainings or take care of yourself.

For example, if you are overweight and very complex about it, you can choose clothes that will hide your shortcomings. Also think about the fact that some men love very thin women, while others are delighted with curvaceous.

The moment you accept yourself for who you are and stop hiding your eyes and looking away, you will notice that people are looking at you with interest. And this, though small, but a step towards meeting your soul mate.

sincere smile

Think about who you like to look at. On a gloomy or cheerful person? Surely the positive attitude of others lifts your mood. From this we can conclude that if you smile more often and radiate optimism, people will be more willing to communicate with you.

Smiling is not just a muscle contraction. It is she who informs others about your openness and readiness to communicate. In addition, such a movement of the lips is a great way to cheer yourself up and those around you..

self-sufficiency

Finding a soul mate is just as difficult for a man as it is for a woman. It is for men that such a quality as self-sufficiency is very important. In order to cultivate this quality in yourself, you need:

• Find yourself a hobby. All people have their own favourite hobby. Someone likes to bake cakes, someone likes to repair cars, and someone likes to plant flowers. Find something you enjoy doing that will make you feel boundless happiness.
• Spend more time with your family. Relatives are people who can support you in any situation, cheer you up and just listen. It is with these people that you will not feel lonely, and the absence of a soul mate will not hurt your heart so much.
• Find an interesting job that will bring a stable income. If you like your profession and place of work, you will go to it with great desire, give yourself to the fullest, and in return you will receive a sense of satisfaction and the desired income.
• Learn to believe in yourself and your strengths. Confident and strong-willed people stand out from the crowd. Therefore, it is worth thinking about cultivating these qualities in yourself.
• Keep a diary and write down everything that happens in your life. Psychologists say that it is the diary that clearly illustrates your achievements and steps taken towards the goal.

Some women and men, not knowing how and where to look for their soul mate, turn to psychologists for help. The help of these specialists helps people find a soul mate.

We tried to collect the maximum number of tips that will be useful to both men and women.

Set a goal

We are not talking about the fact that you need to set yourself up for the next 6 months to start a family. It's about wanting to let the other person into your life. I don’t need to tell everyone in a row that I don’t need anyone and that loneliness suits me.

Thus, you will only repel people on a subconscious level. Just decide for yourself that you really want to find your destiny and be sure to do it. You need to believe in this, and after that others will believe.

Cultivate new positive qualities and character traits in yourself

Take a sheet of paper and write down all your strengths and weaknesses, and make a list of qualities that you would like to acquire. Evaluate the result of your work and think about how to correct the shortcomings and what needs to be done to cultivate the missing qualities in yourself.

For example, you consider yourself a closed and non-initiative person. But you really want to easily make acquaintances, like your other comrades. To do this, you will have to get out of your comfort zone, smile more often and learn how to start a conversation yourself.

Stop looking for the ideal

Everyone wants to find the ideal representative of the opposite sex. But this is impossible to do, because such people do not exist. If you have not yet met a person whose image suits you, you should not reject the courtship of people who are not up to the ideal.

Many women who have already found their soul mate claim that the first impression of the future husband was not the best. But they gave men a chance to open up, after which they forgot about the ideal.

Communicate more and be part of society

In order to connect your life with your soul mate, it’s not enough just to lie on the couch and wait for your soul mate to knock on the door herself.

You definitely need to develop social connections. We offer:

• Attend various seminars and trainings . Think about what you are interested in and sign up for some seminar, training or go to an exhibition. It is there that you can find a person with whom you will at least have common interests.
• Find yourself a hobby. For example, you love to read, but you buy books in in electronic format or read them online. We suggest visiting a bookstore where you will fall into your element, buy the printed edition that you like, and there will also be an opportunity to flirt with a nice seller or a buyer like you.
• Become a volunteer . By doing good deeds, you not only help other people, but also feel needed and important. Who knows, maybe just doing this important work, you will be duly rewarded by fate itself.
• Spend more time with family and friends . Think about the fact that your friends, knowing that you are single and looking for a soul mate, will introduce you to the person you need.

Set up blind dates

If your friends want to introduce you to someone of the opposite sex, then don't reject their offer. Most often, such people only want the best for you and they definitely won’t introduce you to a maniac. Therefore, relax and try to get the maximum pleasure from the upcoming meeting.

Don't lie about yourself

When filling out a questionnaire on dating sites, indicate reliable information. If you decide to try your luck on the Internet, we advise you to provide the most reliable information. Of course, you can fall for not entirely honest users of this site, but at least no one will be disappointed in you when they come on a date.

Meet in places where the heart beats faster

Scientists have proven that sympathy occurs when excited. At the moment when the heart begins to beat faster, perspiration increases, and all sensations are perceived more vividly. This creates an interest in the other person.

• Gyms or fitness clubs;
• extreme trips;
• Movie theaters, watching horror movies, etc.

Work on relationships

If you have found your soul mate, but doubt that this particular person is your soulmate, do not rush to end this relationship in search of something better.

Understand that all people are different and have their own strengths and weaknesses. Surely it happens that some quality annoys you in yourself, and what can we say about an outsider.

If your chosen one is not indifferent to you, but some of his character traits do not suit you, try to talk about it and come to a compromise. Just remember that you may need to change too.

If you do not work on your relationship together with a partner, then you will not be able to create an alliance, even with an ideal.

There are several tricks to help you find your soul mate. These methods only work if you believe in a positive effect. If you are determined, then read carefully and proceed with the implementation of your plan.

Making an order to the Universe

You have probably heard that thoughts are material and everything that we think comes true sooner or later. Based on this statement, we propose to ask us to find a soul mate for the Universe.

To do this, you must present your ideal. After that, take a piece of paper and describe the appearance and the qualities that this man should have.

For example, my future husband should be:

1. high;
2. Brown-eyed;
3. Pumped up;
4. Sociable;
5. Attentive;
6. Romantic, etc.

By creating this list, you must put your soul into it and really represent this person.

Read it over again and burn it. The ashes can be scattered in the wind. The moment you get rid of the rest of the paper, your request will be activated and the Universe will start working.

If you don't like the idea of ​​burning the list, you can roll it up into a tube, shove it into balloon, inflate it and hang it in a conspicuous place. After you find your soul mate (and this will happen sooner or later), you will be very surprised when you find a similarity real person described on paper.

wish poster

This method helps to visualize your dream. Its meaning is as follows. You imagine your man and think about what you would like to get from him as an addition. After that, take a blank sheet of paper (it is better to take a drawing paper), a few women's magazines, scissors and glue.

Now find pictures that match your needs and cut them out. For example, cut out the most liked man, car, house, baby, wedding rings.

After that, stick your photo in the center, place the selected satellite next to it. After that, around your couple, glue a car that your chosen one will presumably own, rings symbolizing marriage, children - future offspring, etc.

This masterpiece must be hung in a conspicuous place so that every time you wake up, your eyes rush to the poster of desires.

Thanks to him, you will not forget about your goal and will definitely achieve what you want.

Let us remind you once again that these methods really work if you believe in them.

What not to do when looking for a soul mate

Some women remain single because they are either constantly inactive or use forbidden or unpromising search methods. We analyzed the main mistakes of ladies and compiled a list of the most senseless methods to get a man.

IT IS FORBIDDEN:

1. Use any kind of magic. If you believe in validity various conspiracies and love spells, you must understand that they have the opposite effect. For example, your physical, moral or emotional state may worsen.
2. Take a person away from the family or beat someone off. As the proverb says, “You can’t build happiness on someone else’s misfortune.” There is a deal of truth in it. Think about the fact that if a person once left his wife or girlfriend, then this can happen to you.
3. Apply pathetic methods. For example, offer intimacy, and after sex, blackmail with the same.
4. Give up and wait until everything gets better by itself. Each of us is the blacksmith of his own happiness. In order to get this very happiness, you need to earn it.
5. Get depressed and suffer. If you are worried about your loneliness, then think that it is better to wait for a good person who will love you than to jump out to marry the first person you meet and then blame yourself for it.
6. do nothing. If you don’t change anything in your life, then you will look for your soul mate for a very long time, and perhaps you will never find it.

Where to find your soul mate

Make an acquaintance that will grow into serious relationship can be anywhere, even in traffic jams. But the best places are:

• Restaurants;
• Cinemas;
• Workplaces;
• Celebrations of friends;
• Airports, railway stations;
• The World Wide Web ( social media, forums, dating sites).

A warning

There are situations when women, trying to find their soul mate, are ready to try all methods. For example, they register on dating sites and go on blind dates. But here you need to be very careful not to fall for any scammers or people with mental problems.

We do not dissuade you from getting acquainted via the Internet, but simply warn of a possible danger.

Conclusion

Life is a very interesting thing and it constantly throws surprises at us. When you really, really want to find yourself a life partner, then nothing happens. But as soon as you spit on everything and let go of the situation, several boyfriends appear in your life at once.

Can you find your soul mate?