The seventh year of a child's life is considered a crisis. During this period, children go to school, get acquainted with their peers and teachers. They get used to the new order, learn a lot interesting information which radically changes their outlook on life. At the age of seven, the child loses his naivety, becomes a little older, often resists the orders of his parents. He has self-esteem, he pays attention to his appearance, tries to be like a person whom he considers an authority. Children begin to think about the meaning of their actions. The physiology, worldview, behavior, relationships with others change in a seven-year-old. It is the duty of parents to help their children overcome this difficult stage of growing up.

Features of the psychology of children at 7 years old

At the age of seven, boys and girls go to school. They have to communicate with new people, adapt to the unusual rules of behavior in an educational institution, and regularly learn lessons. At first, children hardly get used to the role of a schoolboy. They still want to play with their favorite toys.

A few weeks pass and the child completely changes. He is only interested in joint games with peers. He feels like a member of society and does not understand why, as an adult, he still has to obey his parents.

They like to mimic adults, clowning around, attracting attention to themselves. They may deliberately ruin a thing, just for fun. Seven-year-olds, as a rule, are quick-tempered, irritable, quickly get tired. They can behave aggressively or, conversely, withdraw into themselves.

The psychology of 7-year-old boys differs from the psychological mood of girls of the same age. During this period, children are already beginning to understand the difference between the sexes. They are aware not only of their gender, but also of appearance. Children tend to be narcissistic, they live in a fantasy world, so they often associate themselves with the hero of their favorite movie.

The only ones to whom seven-year-olds can change their attitude are their parents. The authority of adults can be shaken. During this period, the most smart person who knows the answers to all questions is considered a teacher. In addition, he never screams for nothing, does not throw tantrums, does not fight and does not ask to get rid of. If a child feels that his mom or dad is not perfect, he may stop listening to them.

The psychology of a 7-year-old girl is characterized by the following traits: perseverance, calmness, accuracy, concentration. Little schoolgirls study diligently, behave well at school. At the age of 6-9 years, all children have same-sex friendships. The girls are friends with each other and discuss important secrets among themselves. They are interested in boys and are very worried if they do not receive reciprocity. Girls are fond of needlework, dancing, singing. Their mood is stable, they are complaisant and executive.

Boys 7 years old are more active, they constantly compete with each other, show off their knowledge of weapons and technology. Their emotional background unstable, they still do not know how to keep their feelings in themselves, they often cry. Boys rarely quarrel among themselves. Seven-year-olds like to play with each other only in games that are interesting to them, and the rules are initially clear. It is difficult to accustom them to monotonous work, accuracy, it is difficult for them to get used to sitting motionless in the classroom. At the age of seven, boys seek authority among their peers. Usually it is the student with the worst behavior. , and growing up in his understanding is a protest and denial of the established rules.

If parents want to make sure that their child is in crisis, they need to carefully look at his behavior. If the baby behaves differently than before, then he is going through a difficult period.

What characteristics of children's behavior indicate a crisis:

• does not obey elders;
• being rude to parents;
• not playing with their favorite toys;
• often stubborn;
• grimaces, mimics the elders;
• behaves too emotionally and actively (scatters things, fights with peers).

The main thing for adults during this period is to stock up on endurance and patience. It is important to learn to understand your child, give him more freedom when solving family issues, take into account his opinion and ask for consent.

Causes of changes in the character and behavior of children 7 years old

Boys and girls 7 or 8 years old think that if they went to school, then they have already become adults. Children want to make their own decisions and take action. If the parents do not take into account his opinion, forcing, for example, to wear unloved clothes, the seven-year-old begins to resist. The reason for this behavior is a change in values, a change in the understanding of the world and awareness of one's role in society.

Seven-year-olds lose their immediacy. Their mood depends little on external factors. They behave the way they want. Sometimes the behavior of a seven-year-old does not correspond to the situation. The reason is the desire to get rid of the psychological burden on the part of adults. A similar problem is more typical for boys. Girls behave more restrained and rarely show aggression or inadequacy in public.

The instability of the child's psyche can be caused by the desire to become a leader. The seven-year-old girl wants to be like the heroes from her favorite movies, and they always solve problems by force.

Sometimes children perceive the outside world as an aggressor who strives to offend them. They expect trouble from their peers or parents. The way out of this situation is considered an attack. Children too emotionally behave, defending themselves from possible punishment. A child who lacks the love and warmth of parents may deliberately be rude to elders or offend peers.

From the age of six, boys gradually grow up. They are interested in the events taking place around them, in each situation they demonstrate their position, express their personal opinion, enter into disputes with peers or adults, and often insist on their own. If they don’t get what they want, they behave aggressively and are rude to elders. They are hard to accustom to accuracy, they are disobedient and unscrupulous.

Parents, faced with changes in their child's behavior, often don't know what to do. It should be understood that the seven-year plan is going through a crisis. A little time will pass, the boy will calm down, his behavior will improve. The child will learn to act independently, acquire his own opinion, construct his own inner world.

Boys 7 years:

1. Don't laugh at his mistakes.
2. Don't give him derisive nicknames.
3. Talk to your son, answer his questions.
4. Hug more, shake your hand in case of approval or greeting.
5. Ask for his help, craft together.
6. Don't focus on failures.
7. Praise your son constantly.
8. Rejoice in even small achievements.
9. Don't talk away intentions.
10. Allow yourself to choose your own hobby.
11. Be strict with bad deeds (preferably a father).
12. Let him cry in a difficult situation.
13. If a boy sincerely confesses his bad deeds, do not lecture him.
14. Always be on the side of your boy, protect him from peers, teachers.
15. Teach reading, choose books that main character- the male.
16. Do not humiliate your son, especially in the presence of other children.
17. Try to get the boys to communicate more often with their father or older men, so they will learn to act like a man.

If parents are sympathetic to the changes in the behavior of seven-year-olds, it will be easier for children to survive this stage of growing up. The boy needs time to sort out his thoughts and feelings. It is desirable to give him more freedom and give him maximum love and warmth.

How to help a child cope with a crisis of 7-8 years - recommendations for parents:

• does not treat the child as property;
• do not shout, do not force, exclude any violence;
• give the seven-year plan freedom of action and the right to choose;
• consult with him, talk, answer questions.

Seven-year-olds often do not listen to their parents. If adults want to achieve obedience, they need to stop talking to the child in a commanding tone. You need to talk with the boy on an equal footing. If, for example, he refuses to study at a sports school, you need to ask about his desires. Perhaps a seven-year-old wants to go to the dance.

Parenting Mistakes

When a child has a crisis period, parents should behave tactfully. Their mistakes and wrong methods of education can negatively affect the psyche of the boy. Psychological trauma received in childhood can cause the development of an inferiority complex.

How not to raise a boy of 7 years:

• put pressure on him with your authority;
• set unbearable tasks and goals;
• speak in an authoritative tone;
• punish bad behavior
• humiliate;
• underestimate the authority of a teacher or other parent.

When raising a seven-year-old, you should not completely rely on the advice of grandparents. It is better to read special literature, for example, books on the psychology of boys of 7 years old.

The child must choose his own friends. No need to dissuade him, tell him with whom to be friends. Boys will still communicate with those peers who are more respected.

Parents need to learn to trust their children. Adults often exaggerate the scale of the problem. You can't take your anger out on a child. In any situation, you need to maintain composure.

Parents sometimes try to realize their unfulfilled dreams through their children. If dad wanted to become a swimming champion, but he failed, he will make an athlete out of his son. If the child does not have a soul for sports, such an activity will not bring the desired result. The boy must himself understand what to do and what business to devote his life to.

The upbringing of the son should be equally handled by the mother and father. You can not leave all the problems associated with the boy to one of the parents. It can be difficult for a mother to get through to her son's heart. The boy will listen to his father faster. Although he needs warmth and care from his mother.

Parents, no matter what relationship they are in, should not speak badly of each other. It is forbidden to set the child against the mother or father. Both parents are very important to a boy. Adults must demonstrate acceptable behavior. After all, their child in the future will build family relationships based on childhood experiences.

The father must take part in the upbringing of boys. Mothers need to give up this right and give dad and son the opportunity to spend more time together. The father is obliged to be interested in the boy's success at school, to help him solve difficult problems. The son must learn to consult with his father if he does not know what to do.

A seven-year-old should not be treated like a three-year-old. With a boy of 7 years old, you need to talk like with an adult. Dad and son can go to the forest together, go fishing, go in for sports. The main thing for a father is to become an authority for his child. The correct life position of the parent will save the son from the bad influence of the street.

A 7-year-old child is going through a difficult period of growing up. He is just learning to live. He needs the care and love of loved ones. If parents want to properly raise their son, they need to know the rules for raising boys. From childhood, the child must be taught responsibility, work, discipline. The boy must learn to bring what he started to the end and not give in to difficulties. Adults have a serious responsibility - to raise a man who can independently achieve goals and overcome any difficulties.

If parents are faced with problems in raising children and cannot find a way out of difficult situation, they need to contact a psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin. In addition, we recommend studying YouTube channel, where you will find many videos on various psychological topics.

It is the period from the age of 8 that is of particular importance in child psychology. At this time, the worldview of the child is actively formed, he is already beginning to actively realize the difference between the sexes and his own identity. To avoid problems in relationships with their children, parents should know some psychological features this difficult age in a child's life.

A boy at 8 years old feels like an adult hero

Some nuances of the psychological development of children at the age of 8

A boy and a girl at this age begin to position themselves and manifest themselves in different ways. It is at the age of 8 that children begin to form an objective assessment of their own actions and what is happening. An 8-year-old child doubts the correctness of the actions of his own parents, because he sees a completely opposite picture on the TV screen. He may argue with his parents because he read in a book or saw on TV information that is important to him, which is at odds with the opinion of his parents. The point of view of parents and teachers on the conflict that has arisen does not always coincide.

At the age of 8, the fragile child's psyche is disturbed, the child cannot restrain the surging emotions, shows incontinence.

8 years - the age of emotional instability

During this period, parents should be especially attentive to how much time their boy spends in front of the TV screen or reading a book. The content of the programs he watches is also important, as well as the topics of books to read. Of course, the best option would be if the boy and girl choose their own parents as the main characters, and not movie heroes. At this age, teaching a grown-up baby to independence is a priority for every parent.

The boy needs his father's approval

Advice for parents: it can be difficult to earn such trust from a child of 8 years old, for this, show utmost honesty with him, sincere interest in his personal hobbies, create a joint hobby that would unite you, come to the rescue in solving school issues if the child asked for it , openly talk about your own life at his age.

Personal motivation

8 years is a turning point in the life of every child. The boy loses his naivety and spontaneity in dealing with others.

In the period of 8 years, the separation of the external and internal personal aspects of the student begins.

It is at this stage that it is important to find out the motivation of the child, which encourages him to attend school: the desire for new knowledge, the desire to get good grades and recognition from his peers. What makes a young schoolboy pore over textbooks? This moment is very important, the baby's trust in parents will help to find the key to solving this issue.

The boy must be personally motivated to study

Sex differences in the development of this age

During the period of 8 years, the child's psychology changes dramatically, he has his own personal "I". The child begins to realize who he intends to be in the future, his current position in society. Children at this age learn to evaluate themselves and their abilities adequately, without exaggeration. They start doing their homework more slowly than usual.

Studying is easier for a girl than for a boy, in this difficult period of reassessment of many important things. The boy becomes a real fidget, he is simply not able to sit through the lesson calmly, which is why the boys make the most noise during the breaks. If the boy is not used to order and discipline, then it will be very difficult for him to get used to this later. The child practically ceases to pay attention to the state of his clothes. He does not pay attention to dirt, he can easily wear torn things, which cannot be said about the girl for whom appearance takes on special importance.

Often at 8-9 years old, boys lose interest in learning.

At the age of 8, the boy weakly feels his personal responsibility for what is happening. Completing mandatory homework is the least of his worries. The child may simply forget to do them. The boy does not worry about school grades, but parents have to find out about homework through mutual friends. The child goes through this psychological period is very difficult.

The boy differs from girls of the same age in sharp mood swings - from a state of complete self-confidence to insecurity.

In terms of vocabulary accumulation, the boy leads, because at the age of 8, the accumulated vocabulary of girls contains a sufficient number of words for evaluating objects, and the opposite sex is in demand for words and expressions that are responsible for the transfer of action.

The child must be taught to keep order

Important points for parents

A child of this age should spend most of his free time in active games, in sports. Girls prefer to engage in music, fine arts, reading. The child at this time can go to skiing, acrobatic clubs or gymnastics. This is the time when a grown-up kid feels the need to evaluate his own skills. Parents should not rush to critically assess the actions of their child, so as not to hurt him inadvertently. You must first give him the opportunity to independently perform many simple actions.

Exercise is the best source of energy

Parents act as a guide, they must prompt the child, teach him to independently evaluate his current actions. A joint analysis of children's actions will help to decompose the situation in more detail, teach the child to realize the consequences of his actions and inaction.

By independently analyzing their own actions, the child will be able to stop acting on the basis of a personal impulse, and will begin to act more consciously and disciplined.

At 9 years old, a baby can turn from a talkative child into a silent one, keep some distance between himself and his parents. He may become ashamed that his parents still meet him from school to this day. When a student communicates with his peers, he receives a lot of different information, it is simply necessary to filter it. It is for parents at this time that the role of a filter is assigned, helping to determine the conflicting flow of information.

Relationships with peers come to the fore

At this age, it is important to make some adjustments in the upbringing of a grown child. He has matured, no longer attends kindergarten, many recognize him as an adult. Certain frameworks and conventions are imposed on his behavior, which is why some difficulties arise in the parental upbringing of the child at this turning point. The kid tries to constantly analyze how to behave in each specific situation with peers, within the walls of the school, with close friends. As a rule, this period of time passes relatively calmly in children.

School adaptation

A child's readiness for school is not always determined by the ability to count, write, and read. A much more important role is assigned to the psychological preparation of children for school. They must psychologically adapt to the fact that their usual life has changed in a radical way. Parents should make efforts so that the child goes to school with joy and a thirst for knowledge. You need to show interest not only in his daily marks, but also in personal actions, thoughts and behavior with friends.

A trusting relationship with a boy is very important

It is necessary to realize that a student is a child who is in a stage of continuous development.

If something went wrong with your child's lessons, help him complete the tasks, solve the given examples. Explain in detail what and how to do here, personally check the execution. Your child will appreciate this support.

A young student can get bad grades because of his fear of making a mistake, because of the uncertainty about the correctness of his own behavior within the school walls. If your child is constantly criticized for low grades, then in the future he may withdraw into himself due to his own failure. It is necessary to help the baby in solving complex problems, to encourage success in those subjects that are given to him with ease. Parental praise is a powerful incentive for further success in school.

Teamwork is very important at this age.

In the future, when faced with various insurmountable difficulties, the baby will know for sure that they sincerely believe in him and will help him, then he will easily cope with all the obstacles in his path.

Features of parenting

Modern methods and directions of education are very different from those that until recently were considered the most progressive. The Internet and television are present in the life of every student, but the content of information coming from the Internet and the time spent behind the screen should be clearly controlled by parents.

Parents should control the boy's stay on the Internet

Parental education of boys and girls during this period is different. Mom and daughter should gradually start the usual household chores, cooking, cleaning the house, needlework. At the same time, the girl should know that she is valued and recognized not for her responsibility and discipline, but for the fact that she simply exists in the life of her parents. Sincerely praise the girl, not what she is doing.

Control over the space of TV broadcasts is required

For boys, parental evaluation of results is especially important. They already think of themselves as adult men capable of any male work instead of their own father or older brother. In some situations, parents have disputes about the degree of independence of their son at the age of 8, about the limits of permissibility.

At the same time, many mothers just need to let go of their grown-up son, and it is undesirable for dad to put pressure on his son, forcing him to perform those actions that he does not like.

The main requirement that a child puts forward at this age to his parents is to provide greater freedom and independence in behavior, making his own decisions. It is necessary to give him such freedom, to support his intention to exercise independence and develop his own independence.

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How our children grow up depends to a large extent on upbringing, in other words, the role of parents is very important throughout the growing up of a child. Particular attention should be paid to the upbringing of a boy 7-9 years old. During this period, the child becomes more mature and independent, and like a sponge absorbs information from the world, forming a concept about it. The task of parents at this time is to help form the right vision, to lay down the necessary data.

The role of a man, a father, is very important during this period in the life of any boy. If it so happened that the son is brought up in incomplete family or the father of the family is often forced to go on business trips, then his grandfather, uncle or any other relative, friend who wants to help can replace him. A boy at the age of 7-9 needs to communicate with a man, from him he will learn masculinity.

If the father takes an active position in raising a boy of 7-9 years old, this does not mean that the role of the mother becomes unimportant. The love and support of a mother is very necessary for both boys and girls of all ages. The child should know that his mother loves him, that he can turn to her with any question, and she will always support him. But there is no need to overindulge and fulfill all the whims and whims of the child. This will not make him happy, so you will raise a sissy who will suffer all his life from his selfishness. Also try to agree on the upbringing with your husband, if the father says one thing, and the mother says opposite things, then the child will get confused and will not know who to believe.

What you need to pay attention to.

In Raising a boy 7-9 years old, special attention should be paid to the fact that it is no longer possible to talk to him, as with a 5-year-old baby. This is a grown-up child, and he wants a proper attitude, so that his opinion is listened to, and not said: “Do as I say! I know better!" At this age, the child is already beginning to understand many things. It will be enough to have a heart-to-heart talk with your son, find out all his questions, discuss problems, explain why it is worth doing this and not otherwise, and you will notice how your son will listen to you.

How should parents behave? How can you help your child adjust to school?

Parents, as a rule, do not pay special attention to such a phenomenon, and, in general, few people believe in the existence of any developmental crises. Everyone remembered a long time ago that only adolescence is terrible, mothers expect this terrible puberty with horror, sometimes not even assuming that the ground for future tantrums is being prepared now, at 7-9 years old, and if this test of nature is successfully passed, then future hormonal changes will not become so scary and dangerous.

So what happens to a child at this age? And is this crisis connected only with the fact that the child is moving into a new social status student? Go to new status very important, but even more important are the changes that the child's brain undergoes in the process of maturation at this age. In the age range from 6-7 to 9-10 years, there are significant changes in the general nature of the interaction of the hemispheres of the brain, as a result of which the child can already regulate his behavior and moves from objective activity to mental actions (analysis, generalization, reasoning, inference, etc.). .).

By the age of 7, a child changes a lot. The face loses its "doll" features, teeth change, fast growth, change in diet, taste, endurance, muscle strength increase, coordination of movements improves. The central nervous system and endocrine glands, new relationships in their work; It is at this age that the thyroid gland begins to work intensively. According to many scientists, it is this gland that is responsible for the well-known emotional instability and rapid mood swings in seven-year-old children. Naturally, the main test for a first-grader is not endocrine changes, but they cannot be ignored.

Very rarely, a crisis of 7 years is expressed in direct aggression emanating from a child, this is probably the quietest age crisis, sometimes if parents behave correctly and think through their requirements, it can be completely avoided. It is necessary to explain to the child in time, if he himself did not realize the seriousness of the situation, what exactly has changed in his life, to help the child make a correct reassessment of his own values. Games, walks, cartoons are secondary, in the first place - study.

But all this is easy in theory; in practice, beliefs alone are not enough. It is necessary to constantly remind the baby that he is becoming an adult, and therefore responsible, and the territory of his responsibility lies in obtaining knowledge. This is where parents need to be patient. During this period of formation, the child pays more attention to his experiences, becomes extremely emotional, sharp in his statements, and if adults, instead of calmly and easily explaining new school requirements, set specific tasks for him, blame and force, then the result will even turn out not null. Is it worth it to spend extra strength, your own and your child's, to get a minus at the end?

A few years ago, Oleg, one of my students, having become a first-grader, could not understand why he was forced to go to school. On the first of September, he honestly stood on the line, took a picture, gave the teacher a bouquet, he went to school with pleasure on the second and third, but by the end of the week he was rather tired of this activity. For the sake of truth, it is worth noting that kindergarten he did not attend, was brought up mainly by his grandmother and about the duties of growing up young man had no idea. Naturally, he was not ready for such a test as school. After two weeks, he categorically refused to go to school, and a month later he fell ill, and very seriously. It wasn't a simulation, it was just that his nervous system had malfunctioned. And the parents are primarily to blame. Not only did no one prepare the child for changes in the general course of his life, the parents, having decided that Oleg had already grown up and was obliged to study, went “the easiest way” - without going into details of his experiences, they simply forced him to go to school and do hometasks. Now he is in the tenth grade, wanders from three to three and has bronchial asthma. And I am sure that if something could be changed, my mother would gladly return to those days and behave differently towards her son. But then she didn’t want to hear anything - after all, Oleg was “must and obliged”, and the conditions of her task included “force and punish” when the boy did not obey.

Another manifestation of the crisis seven years of age can become emotional closeness, inventing incredible stories, an outright deceit. Naturally, you cannot fail to notice this, but before scolding and calling for honesty, figure out what provoked your son or daughter to such behavior.

One of my students, coming home from school, told his mother about how hard it is for him to combine study with work. Where and when he heard this phrase, we do not know, but he expressed it that way. Moreover, as it turned out later, the work he was entrusted with was very serious - he turned very important details for aircraft engines on the machine, and during the break he managed to work on copybooks and solve math problems. At first it all looked like a simple childish fantasy, but by the middle school year"working at an aircraft factory" exhausted him so much that he began to complain of a constant headache, often cried and felt very unwell. His deception was not just a fantasy - it was a need to reach out to his parents, to try to explain to them how difficult it is for him to study, that he needs help and compassion.

Not every child, and especially a boy who is taught from an early age that “men never cry, they are strong, brave and patient”, is ready to be frank with their loved ones. The task of parents is to see the problems of their own children and to provide assistance. Sometimes elementary sympathy can be enough: “I understand that it is difficult for you. I see that you are trying, and not everything turns out the way you would like. But you are not alone, we love you and are always ready to help.

In the period of 6-7 years, there are major changes in the emotional sphere of the child. If for a preschooler any criticism of his abilities or appearance is “they are unhappy with me” and nothing more, then for a first grader any word or action aimed at a negative assessment of his abilities is deadly. Unflattering reviews at this age can dramatically affect the formation of his personal qualities in the future.

I am always surprised by this exclusive right of adults to "flagellate" their own children. Of course, we want our children to avoid mistakes, not to waste time, study well, go in for sports ... We want everything that we ourselves did not do in childhood, and if we did, it was not hard enough.

We regret our own missed opportunities, and we transfer our desires to children. As adults, we want the best for our children. And so that he hears and understands, we shout. Only, including “justified anger” and criticism, we, unfortunately, instead of calling our own child to a new understanding of the school, doing homework, we kill any desire to learn in the bud. We ourselves form a person who is notorious for the future, who does not believe in his own abilities and capabilities.

One of my acquaintances, a very pretty girl in childhood, having become a girl, could not understand in any way that young people were courting her not at all because she could write off coursework and not out of compassion for her unsightly appearance. V primary school my mother loved to compare her with her classmates, and every time she looked at the photos, she noted with sadness in her voice: “What a pity that you don’t have such small features as Sveta” or: “I wish you had such a nose as Tanya ”, ending the conversation with the same phrase: “But you have legs like a ballerina.” By the age of twenty, Zinaida realized that she was attractive not only with her slender legs, men had feelings for her that were far from compassion, and rushed into “real life”. Now she is married for the third time and seems to be happy. But, perhaps, her life would have turned out a little differently if her mother, instead of being engaged in evaluation activities, simply rejoiced at how beautiful and smart her daughter was.

The first year of study at school is non-assessment, that is, marks are not used to evaluate the work of students. But this does not mean that you need to “close your eyes” to the insufficiently responsible attitude of your son or daughter to the performance of the duties of a student. Lack of control and lack of judgment are not the same thing. We need a golden mean - you can’t scold, but you can’t allow yourself to relax. It would be optimal to include the child's own assessment. But in my entire rather long teaching practice, I met only two elementary school students who could “mark” their own efforts.

Discuss mistakes with the child, but do not scold or educate by comparing with other children, even if at this moment other people's children seem exemplary to you. In no case do not evaluate knowledge and skills, but be sure to discuss his actions and aspirations.

“You can’t even pull a fish out of a pond without labor” - let this proverb become the motto of your life, keep your child active in overcoming difficulties, notice the slightest achievements of your own son or daughter, celebrate big and small victories wholeheartedly.

Go to school age is not only a change in activity, it is also a complete change in the daily routine, way of life, and not to take into account this very important point in the life of a small person is impossible. More recently, he went to kindergarten, had breakfast, dined at a certain time of the day, slept during the day, walked on the playground - he lived according to the exact schedule drawn up by kindergarten teachers. But, having become a student, he was somewhat lost - it would seem that there was much more free time, he is busy at school for no more than four hours, homework- 3 more hours, it is not necessary to sleep during the day, it is not always possible to walk, but it is necessary to occupy yourself with something. And then best friend schoolchild becomes a computer or TV.

In elementary school, when the loads are not yet very high, computer games and cartoons do not bother us much: “Let the child rest, no matter what, but unloading.” Namely, that there is no unloading. Let's not deceive ourselves - the first class is difficult not only for children, but also for parents, therefore, "trusting our daughter or son to the computer", we provide, first of all, the opportunity to relax a little for ourselves.

Make a schedule for the week. But only it should not be an oral plan, with conversations that “it would be nice to go to the movies on Sunday, and finish reading a book about a wizard on Wednesday.” If for some reason you cannot plan the whole week, let it be the schedule for the next day. The participation of the child in the discussion and preparation of this plan is mandatory.

You can hang a large metal board in the child’s room (similar boards are sold in stationery departments), on Sundays you can apply “strategic” on it with a special marker. weekly plan". As they are completed, the points are erased, on Saturday, parents with a child must sum up and discuss their own mistakes.

The larger this board, the better - the routine needs details. The most important thing in such work I see the time for doing homework and the school schedule. When your son or daughter knows that every day at eight in the morning he has to go to school, even if he doesn’t feel like it or it’s cold outside, from 16 to 18 - copybooks and math examples given by the teacher at home, the question “why?” will fall off on its own. Remember Exupery's tale of the Little Prince? The lamplighter, who lights the lanterns every evening, did not do it at all because he so wanted to - "such an agreement." And this agreement seems undeniable to us, even though we, like the Little Prince, know that "there is no one on the planet except the lamplighter."

A weekly plan is especially convenient for those children who, in addition to school, attend clubs and sports sections. At first glance, it seems that there is nothing difficult in such a combination. But gradually, one of the activities "begins to limp." Treasure your own time, do not waste it in vain, and this will not happen. We are adults, and it is easy for us to understand this, but for a child, our conversations about how difficult it is to catch up and restore lost time are not informative. Examples can be persuasive. Enter the circle of interests of your own son or daughter, choose a character that is especially important for the child and tell stories from his life, better truthful, albeit somewhat exaggerated by you. Draw his attention to artistic images, on the statements of the heroes of his favorite films. One of my students, after watching the next series of Star Wars and hearing the phrase: “Life is nothing, time is everything!”, became so convinced of the “cosmic truth” that the problems of organizing homework disappeared by themselves.

Set clear time for non-school activities, don't let "sit out" the hours, and explain (and be consistent in doing so) that "you don't have to sit at your desk and pretend you're doing something."

Approximate daily routine of a primary school student

7.00 - Rise.

7.00-7.30 - Making the bed, washing.

7.30-8.00 - Breakfast.

8.30-13.00 - Classes at school.

13.30-15.00 - Lunch, rest.

15.00-16.00 - Walk or home games (not on the computer).

16.00-18.00 - Doing homework.

18.00-18.30 - Dinner.

18.30-20.00 - Free time.

20.00-20.15 - Getting ready for bed.

20.15-21.00 - Reading books with dad or mom. (A child can read independently only if there is good lighting.)

The daily routine will help you go through the process of physiological adaptation to school more easily.

Psychologists distinguish 3 main stages of this adaptation.

1. Stage of "physiological storm" - the first 3-4 weeks of training. It, like any storm, ends with significant energy costs of all body systems. Some children have such a hard time at this stage that they can get sick, most have weight loss.

2. The stage of initial or unstable adaptation. During this period, the child's body finds acceptable, close to the best options reactions to new conditions.

3. The stage of relatively stable adaptation - the tension subsides, the body has almost adapted to a new way of life.

Pay attention to the general condition of the child at this time. It is possible that his capriciousness, violation of self-regulation of behavior, complaints of headaches, lack of appetite are not at all explained by the fact that he is "a quitter and does not want to study." We must try to survive this period without much loss to health, and here your task is not to force, but to help cope with the very difficult task of adapting your son or daughter in a new social environment.

From whom, if not from the pope, you need to learn masculinity. The kid, realizing only his belonging to male gender, from an early age begins to copy the behavior of his father. Habits, manner of communication, clothing, hairstyle - the child absorbs all this like a sponge, so the father of a little son needs to be especially careful so that the child does not adopt the negative aspects of his behavior. It can only seem to the father that the quarrel with the mother is between the two of them. In fact, the baby observes and remembers everything on a subconscious level.

• The second rule for a mother is to educate from her son. respectful attitude to the father.

Even if the father does not devote much time to the child, you still need to talk about dad with respect: “Dad will come and fix the car”, “Dad will come and help us”… Otherwise, criticism of the father may result in the fact that the child will copy his behavior in adolescence and adulthood.

• One more thing important rule- instill in your son a respectful attitude towards the female sex.

This is especially true if the kid has already gone to school, because in the class he will study together with the girls, and perhaps even sit with one of them at the same desk. The son must understand that the girl needs to be protected and helped. Such a line of behavior instills masculinity in the baby.

How to raise a boy right

Boys, unlike girls, are less assiduous and obedient. In an attempt to assert themselves, they arrange fights, pranks, and act up. If the situation gets out of control, at an older age the problems may worsen - the child may begin to smoke, be rude. To prevent this, the mother and father should take an equal part in raising a boy of 6-7 years old. Moreover, it is important to understand that maternal and paternal love have a different character, so you need to strike a balance.

Let's look at examples.

In a family where mom makes decisions, and dad remains indifferent due to the fact that his initiatives are suppressed, the son will grow up spineless, and in adulthood, at best, will be completely dependent on his wife, at worst, he will not be able to tear himself away from his mother's skirt. Therefore, it is important that the father also has weight in the family, and the child sees this.

But the reverse situation.

The father is too powerful in the family. A child, suppressed by excessive paternal strictness, may grow up as an insecure person or copy his father's behavior in adulthood, i.e. show aggression in their own family.

One more example.

The child is too surrounded by the guardianship of the mother. Undoubtedly, the boy also needs love and care. But some mothers go too far, worrying until the age of 40 whether their son has eaten or put on a hat. As a result, the boy grows up as a weak and weak-willed person, unable to take responsibility for his life. Give your son more freedom and teach him to make decisions on his own from an early age.

When raising a boy of 6-7 years old, stick to the golden mean, trust, respect for each family member and warm relations.

The process of raising a child in such an atmosphere will be much easier, and it will be much easier to control the behavior of the son.

In spite of important role father in raising a boy of 6-7 years old, a mother raising a baby alone can also make a real man out of him. Let such a kid communicate more with a kind neighbor whom you trust, with a grandfather, with your girlfriend's son's dad or a sports coach. There are many ways to introduce a child to the male world.

Remember, the main thing in the psychology of raising a boy of 6-7 years old is good example to emulate. If you want to raise a smart kid, read books with him. Let the baby see how dad reads newspapers, is interested in technology - the child will also join this. If you want your child to grow up neat, keep the house in order, show by example how to fold clothes. In general, remember that the child notices everything and observes everything.

And you will learn how to properly raise a girl in our article.

At the webinar “Boiling point. Conflicts in the Family” tells how young parents deal with conflicts in the family, helps to see family quarrels from various angles and choose the most appropriate solution for their specific situation.