My baby is crying how to calm down. How to calm a crying baby: some useful tips. The main reasons for crying

12.10.2019 Diseases

A child can be naughty and cry for various reasons, sometimes there are good reasons for this, for example, he is teething or. When this situation is repeated regularly and the baby, despite persuasion, continues to overstrain, this may be a manifestation bad mood. In any case, it is harmful, both for the health of the baby and for his mom and dad. However, they do not always know how to calm a child during a tantrum.

First of all, you should understand what a child's tantrum is. This is an emotional explosion, in fact, a protest, in which a variety of feelings are mixed - irritation, resentment, anger, and even despair from one's powerlessness. Hysteria is always accompanied by tears, crying, loud screams, in addition, the child may begin to beat against the walls and floor, arching.

The worst thing is that at this moment the child does not feel pain, therefore, it can severely damage the head and other parts of the body, so it is necessary to stop the baby, although it is better to prevent such situations.

Of course, first of all, you should understand what are the reasons that make the baby behave inappropriately. This is where the fun begins - if parents know how to communicate with their child and understand what he lacks or what he categorically does not want, it will be easier for them to find out why the baby is so dissatisfied or offended. Sometimes in this way, children attract the attention of their parents to get the desired toy, food, or something else. The danger is that if you do not learn to stop such behavior, the child, even when he grows up, will do the same.

What are the prerequisites for hysteria:

When a child is small and does not yet know how to speak, this is a way to express his displeasure and indignation;
A baby can be hysterical due to the fact that it is endowed with a weak nervous system;
When the baby is unwell or has not had enough sleep, he may well throw a “concert” with tears and screams;
The desire to get the desired thing at all costs is one of the common causes of hysteria;
The prerequisite may be the inattention of parents to their children - the response may be hysteria, so that they finally give them time;
Often, uncontrolled behavior in a child is caused by the fact that the father and mother are too strict with him - then such a tantrum can be considered a kind of protest;
When the baby is torn away from his important, interesting activities, and forced to do something else, there is a high probability that everything will end with loud sobs and children's cries.

Without realizing it, sometimes parents make certain mistakes in raising their child, which later will cause ugly scenes with the child in the lead role.

There are three immutable rules on how to properly respond to the behavior of a "raging" baby. They prescribe:

It is better to prevent unpleasant cases of hysteria;
If it has already happened, it is better to ignore the discontent of the child;
Parents need to always be prepared for such events and know what to do.

The mother must, like a psychologist, learn to quickly identify the motives that move the child, and distinguish between simple whims and serious reasons why the baby behaves outside the box. Understanding that the situation did not happen by accident will help you better understand the psyche of your own baby, and this, in turn, will help prevent a recurrence in the future.

If this whim does not hurt to analyze your actions, which may have contributed to the fact that the baby is spoiled and simply does not know how to behave. Even in early childhood, parents need to think about raising children and instilling in them the inclinations of cultural behavior. If the baby always gets everything he wants, he is unlikely to put up with the very first refusal, but this cannot be allowed, otherwise an egoist will grow out of him. The same bad habits that have managed to “stick” to him must be eradicated as soon as possible.

When the question is how to calm a child during a tantrum, the ways to resolve this problem lie in the plane of causes. Therefore, solutions may vary.

What to do if children have a tantrum due to illness

When a baby is in pain, it is not surprising that he can cry and act up. If the baby is generally healthy, then sooner or later such phenomena as:

Colic;
Abdominal pain;
Teething.

No one can avoid these troubles in childhood. In addition, it happens that the crumbs have a stuffy nose or ears hurt. What to do in these cases?

For colic, which often occurs in babies, starting from two weeks of age and up to 3-4 months, you will need to calm the child as follows:

It is necessary to take him in your arms, covering him with a warm diaper or blanket. At the same time, you can rock him, sing him a lullaby, calm him down with gentle words.
As an alternative - a massage of the tummy, thighs and back or bathing in a warm bath. Calm music, monotonous sounds like work can help. washing machine. In such situations, in no case should you rock it hard, shake it, let alone scold it.

For the future, it is worth discussing with the pediatrician how you can help the baby - perhaps there are effective herbal remedies to alleviate his condition.

When the baby began teething, the child may be in hysterics for a long time, and it is the duty of the parents to help the baby cope with the pain:

To do this, you can give him teethers with a cooling gel;

You can also cool a small piece of an apple or cucumber and attach it to the diseased area of \u200b\u200bthe gums;
If the temperature goes off scale, it is better to give the child a children's drug to lower the fever;
In addition, you can massage his gums with a finger wrapped in a sterile bandage.

The main thing is not to leave the child alone. During all procedures are required sweet words, soft strokes.

When a child is naughty at bedtime

Many parents are familiar with such nightly "performances". Children are able to completely exhaust the father and mother, not wanting to fall asleep at the right time. In fact, dealing with this phenomenon is not so difficult. If the child is small and he is not yet a year old, you will need:

Wash the baby, put on a clean diaper;
Before going to bed, massage his tummy;
You can talk to the baby in an even voice or tell him a fairy tale;
A warm bath before rest gives a good result.
It is important that in the nursery or the room where the baby sleeps there is fresh, slightly humidified air.

An older child can be given a soothing tea designed specifically for children, allowed to take their favorite plush toy to the crib. You can talk with him about pleasant upcoming events - for example, about a trip to your grandmother's country house or a visit to the zoo.

It is important for parents to understand that you should never take it out on children, yell at them and scold them. So you can not only reduce all your efforts to zero, but also harm the child's psyche.

As for hyperactive children, who are characterized by increased nervous excitability, considerable efforts will have to be made here. To distract him from the “ungrateful occupation”, you will need to captivate the baby with something interesting - toys, drawing, cutting paper figures, the main thing is that this activity really evokes a lively response in him.

If the newborn cannot calm down

The baby does not know any words and ways of expressing his needs, except for screaming and crying. A newborn needs an exceptionally careful and affectionate approach.

To do this, mom will need:

Change your baby's diapers and nappies more often.
Hug and stroke the baby, saying gentle words to him;
Keep it at the breast as long as possible, as the baby is perfectly soothed by its own sucking and the warmth of the mother's body;

Newborn babies sleep well to monotonous sounds; for this purpose, a water fountain is placed in the room, which, moreover, will humidify the air.

Parents should have an idea of how to calm a child during a tantrum, but, in addition, know how to behave:

Screaming or scolding the baby is completely pointless, as this can cause the opposite effect.
You can take the baby out of the room where the tantrum happened - and the child will gradually calm down, or distract the son or daughter with something more attractive to him;
If the scandal is caused by a whim, you should never persuade and reassure the baby with words - it's best to just ignore him, you can even leave the room for a few minutes. Without spectators, the child will quickly lose interest in their own crying.

TO to a small child you can always find the right approach, but for this, parents should better study their baby, know his preferences, things that he loves or hates. Recognizing the features and characteristics of their beloved child, parents will quickly find a method that will not only be the most effective for hysteria, but will not allow it at all.

How to calm a child during a tantrum: advice from Dr. Komarovsky

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A sleeping baby is a magical sight, akin to a miracle. And this picture seems especially implausible to those exhausted parents whose babies cry for no apparent reason, arching and screaming non-stop 24 hours a day. Do not despair! And don't punish yourself - you don't bad parent! You simply do not know the ways that can rock even the most capricious child without depriving his mom and dad of mental clarity, self-control and a sense of parental happiness. We will teach you how to properly soothe your baby.

From the very first words, it is worth noting that all the tips below on how to calm a crying baby (namely, a baby between the ages of 0 and six months) refer to those cases when the baby cries and screams “for no apparent reason” - that is, his tummy does not hurt (not swollen, not tight, well palpable), he is not hungry, not cold and does not need a diaper change. Rather, these tips are for those tired and exhausted parents in whose eyes the question is read: “How to calm a child who just likes to cry and yell?!”.

How to soothe a 0-3 month old baby? Get in his position!

One of the world's most competent experts in the field of baby crying is an American doctor, professor of child psychiatry, pediatrician Harvey Karp. For over 20 years he has been teaching young parents effective ways how to quickly calm a crying baby. Dr. Harp's book on these methods has already for a long time is the undisputed bestseller in its segment. On the one hand, these methods are extremely simple, judge for yourself:

swaddling;
holding in a position on the side;
"white noise" or hiss;
rhythmic swing;
sucking.

But refrain from surprise and doubt until you have tried all five methods in action. What is the essence of this technique? In his book, Dr. Harvey uses such an ambiguous concept in relation to newborn children aged 0 to 3 months, as " fourth trimester of pregnancy».

During this period of life, babies are in dire need of conditions that would closely replicate the intrauterine environment of the mother. It is in such conditions that babies instantly calm down, instinctively gaining a sense of familiar comfort and safety.

Actually, on this principle, Dr. Karp built his methodology. For example, the tight swaddling of a newborn imitates his presence in the mother's uterus in the last stages of pregnancy, where the baby is already quite crowded. The position on the side is also the most familiar for him. Hissing sounds are the most familiar to the baby, because being in the womb, he constantly hears the mother's breathing and the passage of fluids through her intestines. The unborn baby experiences monotonous motion sickness (almost shaking) all the time when his mother moves. And if you look at the ultrasound images, then make sure that starting from the 24th week, while in the mother's womb, the child reflexively sucks his thumb almost all the time.

Here is the nature of the origin of all five ways of effective motion sickness according to Harvey Karp.

And if you learn, using the tips of Dr. Karp, to imitate for your baby all these states that are most comfortable for him in the first months of life, then you will not have problems with how to calm the child. So:

5 magical ways Harvey Karp, or How to calm a child:

Method 1: Swaddling. Of course, keeping a newborn tightly wrapped in diapers is not worth it all the time. But if the baby is worried and cannot fall asleep for a long time, sometimes it is enough just to wrap it tightly in a sheet or diaper (you need to swaddle it with the handles) so that the baby immediately calms down.

If your baby is often restless and has difficulty falling asleep, it makes sense to buy modern diapers that even dads can use without difficulty.

Method 2: Position on the side. Place the child on your arm or on your knees on the side so that it seems to fall a little on the stomach. Gently support the baby's head. This position can also be used if the child suffers from minor colic.

Method 3: Rhythmic rocking (shaking). Holding the baby in the position on his side, start not hard, but rock him rhythmically from side to side. This method can be immediately combined with the following - with imitation of hissing sounds.

See clearly how to properly hold the baby on its side and rock it:

Method 4: "White noise". The point is to play monotonous hissing sounds right above the baby's ear. This is perhaps the most unusual of all Dr. Karp's methods of calming a child, but it works excellently.

Method 5: Sucking. The pacifier is an excellent all-round sedative for the baby. With the same success, you can attach the baby to the breast (if you are a nursing mother) or give a bottle of a small amount mixtures.

In Harvey Karp's own experience, sometimes one or two of the tricks on this list are enough to stop a newborn from crying and worrying. But often you have to use consistently and all five methods. However, according to the doctor, these simple ways, together or separately, help almost 100 percent of the time.

Agree - this is literally a "gift from heaven" for those exhausted parents who, because of the constant crying of children, are, figuratively speaking, one step away from suicide ...

4 Ways to Calm a Baby Over 3 Months Old

Dr. Harvey Karp's methods are good, but it's worth reiterating - almost all of them are only suitable for newborn babies. If you try to swaddle or “hiss” a six-month-old crying toddler, you are unlikely to succeed. Other ways to calm older children can be tried. Moreover, in this case, the expression "how to calm a child" will not always be equal to the expression "how to rock a baby." To calm means, first of all, to distract from screams and sobs.

Method 1: Wear in a sling. Wearing in a sling, by the way, combines two of the items proposed by Dr. Harvey at once: motion sickness and swaddling, and if you add “white noise” to this list, for example, go outside with a baby, it will immediately become clear why kids love slings so much. And if swaddling is only suitable for newborns, then from time to time you can wear a baby in a sling as long as you can comfortably carry (literally) the weight of your baby.

Method 2: Switch attention. Children older than 3 months already quite successfully and for a long time fix their attention on objects and sounds - they are especially attracted to bright colors and clear, loud sounds. Rustle bright paper or a bag, ring a bell, let you watch any commercial on TV. All these manipulations (especially the last one!) instantly capture the attention of the crumbs: he is distracted from the hysteria, begins to show interest and gradually calms down, calms down.

Method 3: Let the excess air out. When crying, the child swallows a lot of air, which gives him very unpleasant sensations. Thus, the hysteria runs the risk of closing in a circle: the baby cries, swallowing excess air, from which his tummy starts to hurt and he cries even more than before, swallowing air again and again. Therefore, as soon as the child begins to show anxiety or scream, take him in your arms and hold him in a column for a while - having burped out excess air, the baby is likely to calm down. And if not, use the previous method by trying to attract his attention with a bright toy or unusual sounds.

Method 4: Dance together. It may seem strange, but it is the smooth dance moves that can help you solve the problem of how to calm a crying baby. Take the baby in your arms, smile at him, talk to him in a soothing tone and move around a little - rocking him from side to side, up and down, singing a simple melody. When the baby stops crying, put him to the breast for a while (if the baby is on artificial feeding- give a bottle of water) or give a pacifier. Most of the time it works!

A woman who became a mother a few hours ago or is preparing for this still has no idea what difficulties she will have to face. when does he cry? This question, perhaps, was asked by every parent. In fact, there is no single right way. It all depends on what caused this behavior of the baby.

This article will tell you how to eliminate the crying of a newborn, how to calm the baby during a cry.

Why can a child cry?

Unlike adult children, who can be capricious and demand that their whim be fulfilled, a newborn baby cannot cry for no reason. An excited and restless state of crumbs can be provoked by many factors. Pediatricians divide them into three main types: hunger, malaise or discomfort.

How to calm a newborn when he cries? In fact, everything is very simple. You just need to eliminate the cause. Make sure that the baby begins to feel comfortable. It is worth noting that methods that are suitable for one child cannot calm other kids at all. So how do you calm down crying baby?

Change your baby

How to calm a newborn baby when he cries? Quite often, the cause of dissatisfaction with the crumbs is the discomfort that wet diapers cause. If you do not use absorbent diapers, then change your baby's sliders or panties after each bowel movement. Otherwise soft skin the newborn will be very irritated. Because of this, she worries and cries.

At the very beginning, the baby expresses dissatisfaction with the usual grunting. Gradually, the intonation changes, and the child switches to anxious crying. If you do not pay attention to this, then a strong and demanding cry will begin.

When using good quality absorbent diapers, baby's delicate skin remains dry even after several emptyings. Bladder. However, this does not mean that diapers do not need to be changed during the day. Change your child's clothes as needed.

Feed your baby

How can you calm a newborn so that he does not cry? Often the discontent of the child is caused by hunger. The small stomach of the crumbs cannot yet contain enough food. That is why the child asks to eat often and consumes small portions. So, in the first days after birth, the baby needs only 20 milliliters of milk. Over time, this dose increases and by the end of the first month reaches 50-90 milliliters.

If you are breastfeeding, then you need to provide him with the next portion of food on demand. When it comes to artificial feeding, then it is worth observing the regimen. The break between meals in this case will be 3-4 hours.

The crying of a child in hunger is more like a demand. It is piercing, sonorous and sharp. At the same time, the child tries to grab everything that is near his face with his mouth: a corner of a blanket, a pen, a finger. As soon as you feed the baby, he will instantly calm down.

Rock your baby

If a newborn is crying, how to calm him down? Many children get used to motion sickness. Newly made mothers are so happy with their new status that they simply do not want to let the child out of their hands. This leads to the fact that the baby gets used to such conditions. The baby no longer wants to fall asleep on his own in his crib and asks for his arms. In this case, the newborn can scream loudly, wave his arms, yawn. However, as soon as the mother takes him to her, the baby instantly calms down.

Of course, it is very pleasant when the baby falls asleep in your arms and sniffs sweetly. However, this behavior can then greatly hinder you. The child will always ask to be held and will not want to sleep on his own. You will be forced to fulfill the whims of the little commander.

Give me some medicine

How to calm a newborn baby? The baby cries constantly because of colic. In this case, most often the discomfort appears in the evening. Many doctors attribute this disease to the mother's diet. If during the night a woman does not eat anything forbidden, then during the day she cannot resist. Because of this, by the evening the child begins to disturb the tummy. However, those babies who eat only a mixture often suffer from colic.

There are many ways to help your child in such cases. It is worth noting that pediatricians distinguish the drug method. Currently, you can choose from a variety of funds. It can be a variety of teas, powders for making drinks and suspensions. Among all the drugs, the following can be distinguished: Plantex, Bobotik, Smecta, Sub Simplex, and so on. All of them must be used strictly according to the instructions.

Pay attention to the child

How to calm a newborn? The baby cries constantly due to lack of attention. If in the first days after birth the child mainly sleeps and eats, then by the end of the first month of life everything changes. The baby's daily routine will be rebuilt several times in the coming months. At the same time, the baby will require more and more attention every day.

If the child is full, dry and does not want to sleep, then perhaps he just needs your attention. Take care of the newborn. Lay it on your back and do light gymnastics. You can also take the child in your arms and show him your home. Absolutely everything now for the baby will be new and interesting.

You can do massage. If you can't handle this task on your own, you can turn to specialists. Talk to the baby. This is very good for his development.

bathe the baby

How to calm a newborn when he cries? Most kids love to take a bath. In this environment, kids feel as comfortable as possible. After all, in the mother's tummy, the child was in liquid for a long nine months. Take a bath with a water temperature of + 36-38 degrees. If desired, you can add decoctions of soothing herbs or special baby salt to it. Place the child in the water and play with him for five or ten minutes. Do not leave the newborn in the water for a long time. The child can overwork, and crying after water procedures will only intensify.

As an alternative method, you can use the usual washing. This method will help to calm the child, whose crying turned into a tantrum. The water should not be very warm. Use liquid at room temperature.

Newborn malaise

How to calm a newborn when he cries? Perhaps the reason for your baby's anxiety lies in his poor health? Show the child to the pediatrician. If the baby is naughty and crying all the time, then this is not normal. Very rarely, but still it happens that newborn babies get sick. The most common pathologies that develop in children of this age are stomatitis, thrush, and otitis media.

If the baby begins to suck on the breast or a bottle, but immediately quits and cries, then most likely he has otitis media or stomatitis. Treatment of these diseases must be carried out necessarily. Recommendations for correction are always given by the pediatrician. Any self-treatment can lead to unexpected consequences and reactions from the child's body.

Often, newborn babies suffer from intracranial pressure. At the same time, the baby feels quite good in an upright position in his mother's arms, but begins to cry heavily as soon as he is placed in a horizontal position. With such a pathology, you need to contact a neurologist. It is worth noting that most often intracranial pressure worries babies born by caesarean section.

Calm down yourself

How to calm a baby if he is crying? In most cases, new parents start to panic when they cannot calm down their raging baby. In this case, the child feels the anxiety of mom and dad. Because of this, the baby may cry even louder and more intensely. Often this situation ends in hysteria.

Try to exhale and switch a little. Take a break from your main goal - to calm the baby. Take the baby in your arms and walk around the room with him. Pat the newborn on the head, tell him how much you love him. Most likely, he will feel your calmness and begin to behave a little differently. Remember that this method only works if the baby is not hungry and has no pathology.

Some mothers in the postpartum period experience a strong emotional restructuring. Often it turns into depression and constant irritation. To avoid this, it is necessary to take sedatives. Their choice must be approached carefully, especially if you are breastfeeding.

How to calm a child when he cries?

How to help the baby during the cry? If you fed, changed, bathed the child, and also played with him, but he is still unhappy, then what to do in this case? How can you calm a newborn? There are several practical advice. Remember that not all of them work for every child. Try to find something for yourself. Surely one of the methods will seem useful to you.

Take a crying baby in your arms and bring it to the faucet. Often the sound of flowing fluid. This is the sound that babies hear in the womb.
Put the baby in the crib and turn on the hair dryer. Such noise, oddly enough, very quickly calms newborn babies. It is worth noting that this recommendation not suitable for older children.
Many mothers advise to swaddle crying newborn. Indeed, this method can help in some cases. Newborn babies are used to being cramped. The thing is that there was very little space in the womb. Getting into such conditions, the child feels more protected. Take a regular diaper and wrap the baby in it so that the arms and legs are tightly pressed to the body. The fetal position is sure to help calm your baby down.
Lay the child on the bed and sit next to him. Sing a soothing song to your baby. In the first month, babies do not distinguish images very clearly, but they hear quite well. Mom's voice and calm song will be able to calm the excited and crying baby.

Summarizing

You now know many ways to soothe a newborn baby. Remember that with a small child, you need to visit the doctor regularly. In this case, you will be insured against the development of many pathologies. A healthy newborn baby will not cry for no reason. The anxiety of the child necessarily has some regularity. Learn to listen and understand your baby, who cannot speak yet. Health to you and your baby!

In the first months of life, newborn babies still do not know how to talk, so they express all their claims with the help of crying. Loud cries signal that the baby is wet, he wants to sleep or is hungry.

However, it is often difficult to determine the exact cause of children's tears, and hearing the constant roar is unbearable. It is not surprising that many parents face an urgent question: how to quickly calm the baby when he cries?

Young mothers and fathers daily face the need to lull a crying baby to sleep. But they don't always succeed. We suggest listening to the recommendations of children's doctors, who call the first three months the "fourth trimester of pregnancy."

At this time, it is desirable to create conditions that would remind the baby of the prenatal period of development.

Feeling the familiar and safe environment, many children quickly calm down and stop crying.

Why is the baby crying?

Before talking about simple and effective ways, let's briefly talk about possible reasons his bad mood. The baby may cry because:

he is hungry;
frozen;
he's feeling hot;
he is tired;
experiencing fear, anxiety;
got a little sick;
he is uncomfortable in a wet diaper or diaper;
wants to go to the toilet;
requires mother's attention.

If the little ones continue to cry even after satisfying the above needs, try using the following recommendations from specialists.

How to soothe your baby - from birth to three months

Based on the theory of the “fourth trimester”, pediatricians have developed several simple and effective methods to help soothe newborns.

1. Swaddling

A crying and restless baby should be wrapped in a diaper or a soft blanket. It may seem to you that such a situation will cause your child some inconvenience, but experts are sure that small children feel calm, as if they are in their mother's stomach.

Frequently asked questions: how tightly should a newborn be swaddled? The answer is obvious - tight enough so that he cannot squirm, but at the same time you need to make sure that tight swaddling does not interfere with blood circulation.

2. Change of posture

Babies often cry when they are tired of lying on their backs. Try holding the baby in your arms while lying on your side or tummy. Changing position has a calming effect on children.

By the way, the pain from colic disappears if you lower the baby's head on the shoulder, and pressure on the stomach significantly reduces the discomfort from gases.

3. Rhythmic rocking

Place the newborn on your forearm so that his tummy touches your hand, and the baby's legs and arms hang freely. Hold your baby in this position and walk slowly around the room, rocking rhythmically.

At this moment, the baby experiences exactly the same sensations as in the mother's womb.

4. "White noise"

Being in the mother's belly, children constantly hear (or rather, feel) a variety of sounds coming from the organs of a pregnant woman. To reproduce the same noises, it is enough for the mother to hiss a little over the child's ear so that the child calms down.

Just do not do it very timidly, because you need the baby to hear you behind his own crying. You can also turn on a vacuum cleaner or a hair dryer in the distance.

5. Breast, bottle or nipple

It is no secret that newborn babies have a highly developed sucking reflex. Invite your offspring to suckle at the breast or bottle of formula if he is formula-fed.

If the baby is not hungry, look - perhaps the nipple will calm him down. Of course, many parents do not want the baby to get used to the dummy, but here you have to choose between two evils.

Try to consistently follow all these recommendations, and the baby will definitely calm down. Some babies need only a couple of points, others calm down only after all the manipulations have been completed.

How to calm a crying baby - after three months

However, the above tips often help when communicating only with newborns, but closer to the age of three months, the effectiveness of these methods is significantly reduced.

With older kids, the following recommendations from experts will come in handy.

1. Wearing in a sling

This method has much in common with rocking and swaddling. In many cultures of Asia and Africa, it has long been customary to wear babies in peculiar bandages. Now this fashion has come to us.

Children love to lie in slings, because they can cuddle up to their beloved mother. By placing the baby in a backpack, you can go to the store, go for a walk, while calming the crying baby.

By the way, on the street, to all the pluses, “white noise” coming from transport will also be added.

2. Light massage

Mom's touch can work wonders: relieve stress, help to relax. Moreover, many children are very fond of tactile sensations. Undress the baby, stroke his arms, legs, back and stomach so that he feels your caress and tenderness.

Many experienced mothers note that massage helps to calm a crying baby and put him to sleep. Try massaging your baby, and you will see that after three or four minutes, he will stop crying and begin to follow your actions.

3. Belching

A crying and screaming baby can swallow a lot of excess air. Because of this, he develops tummy discomfort, so he starts crying even harder.

Lift your baby up and place his head on your shoulder to burp air. However, be prepared that this will stain your clothes.

4. Switching attention

Three-month-old babies can already fix their eyes on bright, attractive objects or be distracted by extraneous noise. Try to rustle the bag next to the baby, shake the rattle, turn on the music.

In this case children's attention instantly switches to new things, the baby immediately calms down, stops crying and begins to study with interest the object that has appeared in his field of vision.

Another option is to change the situation, for example, go outside and show the little one a cat or a dog.

5. Joint dance

Soft dance moves effective way comforting a crying baby. Take it in your arms, hold it firmly and begin to sway to a calm melody.

By the way, you yourself can sing your favorite lullaby. If this pace does not suit the little screamer, move a little faster. After several attempts, you will definitely find the right lulling rhythm.

Of course, these are basic, but far from exhaustive recommendations to help calm crying children. Try different methods to find the perfect fit for your little one.

If all else fails, and your child continues to cry, do not raise your voice at him.

Remember that a baby can show his character in this way or just be capricious. Do not consider yourself a bad mother, because all babies from time to time arrange "concerts" for their parents with screams and tears. This is not your fault and it will soon pass!

Why do babies cry? Every mother who has listened to the signals of a newborn understands that crying does not happen just like that. He is motivated, and children are initially non-capricious. They are trying to get through to us, and we understand them or not, that is the question. That is why it is unacceptable for us to give a crying baby a pacifier. It will cover his rational face! How then to understand it? As a rule, we do not engage in distraction either. After all, it is necessary to distract him from some urgent need or need, and is it not easier to simply satisfy it. Children do not want a "star from heaven", what they really want is what they need for life and growth. And the vocabulary of these "needs" is actually very simple.

Method number 1. Give breast on demand

When a baby is hungry, he makes it easy and accessible to understand. He either begins to suck his fist or makes search (slightly grunting) movements with his nose, as if hoping to stumble upon his mother's nipple. At the same time, he can sigh angrily and "stick" something, tapa "a-ha, a-ha, a-ha." Of course I give him breast, he eats and calms down. And not always only when he wants to eat, sometimes when he is tired, upset or anxious. Because, in addition to food, the breast gives powerful calm, not only, by the way, to the baby, but also to me, which is not unimportant if I am nervous.

In my children, with prolonged sucking, the heart begins to beat more calmly, breathing slows down, the body relaxes, not only pleasure, but also deep relaxation. In some books you will find advice, such as "do not teach your baby to hang on your chest for 40 minutes, eat and have enough, take out your chest, give a pacifier" (see Dr. Komarovsky). Of course, all felt-tip pens are different in taste and color. I decided that my babies will not eat a pacifier, and not only because "this is the right way to a rubber woman," but also because I don't feel sorry for giving them breasts. The baby focused on the nipple is outwardly "dumb", he is in an autistic state (I'm talking about the state, not about the disease), he is not here. Focused on the chest, the baby is completely dissolved in communication with the mother. For a mother, this can be difficult (then the method will not work), or it can be easy and joyful: this is a pause in the middle and end of the day, relaxation, a time when she restores a delicate connection with the baby and even time to read for her own pleasure, oddly enough ("He was so pleased, but it cost me nothing"). I read many wonderful books about babies and children while breastfeeding. Reading fiction seemed somehow impolite to me. But to read about children - it was the most it. So you become well prepared in matters of natural and conscious parenthood (these are two little different traditions parenthood, developed in opposition to the "norm" built on the routines). But in general, if everything is fine with breastfeeding, then there is no more free way to calm the baby in the world. After all, there is a big difference in walking and pumping and in being comfortable to sit or lie down and feed. My eldest daughter did not need motion sickness at all, but she could hang on her chest indefinitely. What a freebie it was! With some skill, you can learn to breastfeed during the day without looking up from your own food, and at night - almost without waking up and without experiencing difficulties from this. And the child will receive plenty of maternal love.

Method number 2. to plant

If you have never planted, then you will be surprised how much anxiety in babies of the first three months is caused by "toilet" affairs. During this period, their “business” is quite often not rhythmic. A baby may not pee for 2 hours while walking in a sling, but when you come home you will get five pee in half an hour. He may not poop for several nights in a row, and then give you a "fun" night with poop and "preparation" in front of them. He can poop twice a day, maybe six, or maybe ten, and each time it is exciting to prepare for this. Toddlers may become anxious and even cry very intensely before peeing and try to tell you to help him. After peeing, they may cry if they were not understood. Before pooping, they can calm down, freeze and be especially focused, or they can cry, trying to tell you to undress them, undress them, pull them out.

The disembarking mother, responding to this anxiety with actions, reduces the need for crying, instead of sobbing, the child grunts, the mother understands him and he does his own thing. It is important that the mother sees what motivates each particular cry: she does not try to call the doctor and does not consider the child capricious, she does not try to swaddle or distract him. It is useless to distract the attention of a person who wants to go to the toilet. You can, of course, talk to him if you pull him out of the sling or run to the nearest bushes (in summer) or home (in winter). Children (even newborns) somehow understand the mother's message "we'll be there soon" and endure. But in the end, he should not be reassured, but planted. If, by the way, the child started crying because they did not understand him about the toilet, then it is already useless to land. It is necessary to calm down in another way (give breast) and wait until he relaxes. It is important that in this case we do not rock the child (this knocks down the instinct), but let him satisfy the need. I don’t know how you will deal with a disposable diaper in this case, apparently, you will form a stable reflex of ignoring your bodily impulses (piss for yourself, don’t cry). At first, children will be worried, then they will get used to it, of course. It's just that you won't know when he's worried about the toilet and when it's for another reason.

Method number 3. Pick up (carry on hands, give body-to-body contact)

"Nine months in the mother, nine - on the mother." This postulate of natural parenting is built on the need of the baby "not to be alone." There are many reasons for this, but I physiologically feel the desire not to tear my child from the body ahead of time. It is extremely organic for us to feel the breath and heartbeat of each other, to constantly touch and be in uninterrupted communication.

Of course, we are talking about wearing "on demand". Sometimes the baby cries just because lost, lost in a space too big for him, surrounded, lost his mother. Mum should be around from the point of view of his survival, this is justified. Of course, the "mom" can be another caring member of the family - a grandmother or a father. You can change the handles, the question is that they are relatives and friends. And that they always be. Dolnik in "The Naughty Child of the Noosphere" has a wonderful tale on this subject, which I always remember when it is difficult for me, if the baby "watches" my presence every minute, "does not let go" even to go to the toilet or take a shower (as a result, everything you quickly learn to do this without taking the baby off your hands and this also promotes contact and synchronization). Imagine that two mothers with babies are walking through a primeval forest. They put their babies on the ground and went to the bushes "on business". One of the kids yelled immediately, the other half an hour later. What do you think, the sarcastic Dolnik asks, which of them left his mark on evolution? After this ingenuous question, the answer to which is obvious (in the primeval forest of the one who silently lay on the ground for half an hour was eaten in the same half an hour), I immediately feel better. We, Dolnik concludes, are the descendants of those people who yelled at once. I look at my child and laugh: "You will definitely leave your mark on evolution." Roughly speaking, the faster the child yells when he lost his mother, the greater his impulse to life (survival). Of course, over time, he learns to be in a calm state in a safe familiar environment (for example, on his "rug", at home). But it takes time to even get used to this environment. Just somewhere around 3-6 months, and until that time, the safe environment for him is his mother.

Method number 4. Wear in a sling

It happens that strangers who see me with a baby in a sling on the street, they say: "Your baby probably never cries." Unfortunately, sometimes she cries. But the habit of using a sling from the first days (I use a sling from 9-10 days after giving birth, when I actively start my "economic" life at home and walks, before that I manage to carry it on my hands) leads to the fact that the sling sometimes becomes an independent way of calming down. not reducible to mother's hands.

Hands are beautiful, but firstly, they get tired, and secondly, mothers often need them free, especially when she has another small (albeit grown up) child. The sling, as it were, swaddles the baby, creating for him the usual "cocoon" of safety. As a result crying baby sometimes calms down already in the process of winding the sling. This happens in those cases when I managed to feel it in time (one step before the disorder). tiredness and desire to sleep. If she missed right moment optimal load and brought to hysterics due to hyperexcitation, excess of impressions or fatigue, it will be difficult to wind up, but immediately after winding, the active rhythmic movements of the mother or a rhythmic walk will quickly calm the baby. A baby up to three months will mostly sleep in a sling, later he learns to stare and stay awake from there. Still, from the point of view of "free" sling is in second place, it is second only to calming on the chest. After all, unlike motion sickness, it leaves hands free and allows you to do other things at the same time. For example, playing with an older child, walking with him, shopping or doing housework, and even (sitting on a fitball) working at a computer. Wearing in a sling also good remedy soothe the baby during colic, as it "relieves" excess tension in the child's abdomen through body-to-body contact. At the time of acute colic, breastfeeding may not work and the sling really saves the situation.

Method number 5. Take a bath or shower

We actively use water to relieve stress. And passively use water to relieve stress. For example, if at 6 or 7 in the morning in Moscow in the winter the baby woke me up on his big “business”, and after that he worries and does not fall asleep: he spins neither here nor there and his chest does not calm him down and it’s just not normal to stay awake maybe, but I want to sleep (for the life of me), then I take him in my arms and quietly crawl into a hot bath. I light a candle or a small lamp in it, collect pleasant water and lie in it with the baby (he is on my stomach or on my back, my legs are partially lowered into the water). I doze. I wait until he knocks on his arms and legs in half an hour, finishes big or small things (I drain the water, of course, if “big” things happen) and crawl into bed, where I give out my chest. After that, I was provided with another 1-2 hours of deep sleep. If the baby did the same thing in the morning warm spring day on the sea, I have breakfast (even at 6 am) and go for a walk with him so that I can go to bed early in the evening and synchronize our rhythms. That is, the matter is in my comfort, which I will pass on to the baby in any case.

If I myself don’t want to sleep and I’m ready to exercise physically, and the baby is nervous, then I don’t climb into the bath with him, but simply fill it with comfortable water (30-36 degrees) and bathe him with wires like “we bathe the baby in a big bath” . This gives him a distraction and a load, after which comes deep sleep. In this case, the baby rarely poops into the water, so you can not drain the water for several hours, but simply add hot water and bathe him again if nervousness resumes. He cried - if feeding and disembarking do not pass - into the bath - rested - into the bath, etc. This is for the long Moscow winter days, when the walk does not occupy the central part of the day.

Method number 6. Rock the baby ("Help me sleep!")

We specifically do not write about this method as the first, because motion sickness is not logical to apply if the child is hungry, wants to pee or poop, and even in each case if he is "lost" and wants to be in his mother's arms. This is what you need to do if other needs are "not visible", and the child is nervous and clearly does not want to be actively and calmly awake, therefore, tired. Sleep is usually the result of motion sickness. We didn’t have to rock our daughter at all, but the kids are different and we had to exercise with our son. There are so many great ways to get motion sickness that we want to dedicate a separate post to them. Here we can simply list them. The most efficient is simple rocking on your hands or on a fitball.

The ball is beautiful, it is especially good for those who do not get sick every day, but from time to time, for example, for grandparents. Rocking on the ball does not require a special flair for the baby, it just "takes the rhythm." I prefer (if possible, if the baby accepted it) swing on a hammock because it relieves the back.

Husband (Sasha) when he is motion sick, dancing. He takes dynamic music (such as "7-40") and does not hesitate to turn it on loudly, after which he jumps from the heart. The baby falls asleep by the end of the 2nd or 3rd song. He holds the baby vertically "in a frog" in the manner of a sling. I most often dance in a sling, because after this method it is not always possible to put the baby down so that he sleeps, it is easier to leave him to sleep in a sling. It is obvious to us that an adult rocking a baby, first of all, rocking himself, he transfers himself into an altered (by rhythm) state of consciousness, in which, due to his body (breathing, relaxation, turning off consciousness from everyday problems), he “turns off” or relaxes the baby. If mommy has enough physical activity or there is the possibility of long walks, and also if she is a lot on fresh air, motion sickness to the kid usually is not required. We believe that motion sickness is more "demanded" by children born in cities in the autumn-winter period.

Sickness also riding in a car. You need to choose routes with a monotonous ride, preferably without traffic jams (otherwise, with an annoyed baby, you can get into a very unpleasant situation when he cannot sleep). You need to get used to taking the baby out of the car. Most often, mothers carry the baby along with the chair. I can’t do it (and our cradle in the car is too heavy for this), I take the baby out of the chair and carry it in my arms. To do this, you need to take into account the phases of sleep. You can transfer in the phase of deep sleep, when breathing is deep and the body is relaxed. If you try to move it to the phase of REM sleep (the phase of dreams, when the body twitches, the baby moves and squeaks), then he will wake up. Therefore, if I arrived at a place in the REM sleep phase, then I still drive around for some time, I wait until I fall asleep soundly. Sleep phases alternate approximately every 45 minutes. That is, every 45 minutes of deep sleep, a short (7-10 minutes) phase of REM sleep occurs. If you "sway" during REM sleep, then you can safely rest the next phase of deep sleep (without rocking). The same goes for sleeping in a sling. It is in the phase of deep sleep that you can cook soup, watch a movie or work at a computer, in between it is better to pump up. All this applies to a greater extent to a grown-up baby, since in the first three months babies already sleep most of the day, it is not necessary to “guard” their daytime sleep. It is also important that in one of these dreams, mom chooses the time to relax herself, otherwise she will run out of steam by the end of the day.

Method number 7. Calm down mom

The limitation of the carrying method is that the hands convey the calmness of a calm mother and the nervousness of a nervous or angry one. This is not a reason, if the mother is upset, tired or angry, to deprive the baby of bodily contact. Then he will be even more lost, because he will still feel the discomfort of his mother and the disturbing situation.

But this is an occasion to shift attention from the excitement of the baby to what is happening with the mother. My husband and I noticed interesting fact. Sometimes, if I cannot calm the child (of course, not at the moment of a sharp cry, but at the moment of protracted and tiring nervousness), then it helps the child if the husband gives me a foot massage (the baby lies either on me or next to me). The meaning is simple: you can relax your mother and the baby will automatically relax. Regularly send mom to a bath or pool, for example (I do this with kids). Arrange for mom relaxation in any acceptable form. We use the Reiki method (for mom) if we feel that the "degree of nervousness" in the house is going through the roof. This allows not only to reduce the excitement of children, but also to save them from unwanted diseases during infancy.

Method number 8. Warm up or "ventilate" the baby

Here we are talking about the optimal temperature regime and its regulation. The baby will worry and even cry if he is cold or hot. This is not a reason to keep a constant thermostat around it with the same +26 degrees. This will lead to low adaptability. We try to give the baby to try different things in the first months of life. It is colder - warmer - at home in clothes - at home without clothes - on the street in different weather in a sling, on your arms or in a stroller, etc. To breathe cold and warm air. We give it a try and see what happens. For example, the skin of our babies clearly reacts to overheating. Even at +24 degrees at home, she can give prickly heat if the child is dressed and sweats in clothes. The skin reacts before they start to cry. Therefore, we react to overheating more by the skin than by crying. On the contrary, sometimes the child may cry when he is cold and "asks" to be wrapped up. One of our friends said that her newborn daughter: “Crying after bathing, enjoys swimming, and then, when we unfold the towel to wipe it, she starts crying, it’s cold for her. there is no crying." For us, the solution is obvious - why unfold such a child from a towel? They wrapped it on the chest, the towel itself will dry inside. If this girl does not like contrasts, why should she arrange them. Some babies rub with pleasure, but pleasure is primary here.

Method number 9. Talk to baby

From the first day, I noticed that Nikita calms down better if you talk to him, looking him straight in the eyes. Much better than, for example, motion sickness. "What are you talking to him about?" friends and family asked me. "Of course, about past lives," - I said - "I ask him to remember more."

Well, you can and should also talk with newborns about everything, explain to them what is happening. Say that they are in their home, among their family. Talk about this family. It is not necessary to lisp, but to speak targeted, looking into the eyes. Not in the "radio that broadcasts by itself" mode, but in the contact mode. They understand, and it is useful for us to learn to treat them like human beings. And they even believe us and calm down.

Method number 10. Apply dynamic gymnastics, massage or other bodywork practice

Let's say right away that we did not use dynamic gymnastics (the author of which was Leonid Kitaev) technically and extensively, since it requires great physical strength from mom or is entirely entrusted to dad. But, saying this, we are of course disingenuous, because in the terminology of Leonid Kitaev, any mobile practice for contact with the child, within the range of movements permissible for the parent, is a kind of dynamic gymnastics.

I didn’t want to somehow twist, hang and toss my babies in the newborn period and the period up to 3 months, maybe because they did not suffer from increased tone or colic (which is very well removed by such practices). But now my son has grown to 3.5 months and 7 kg and has become such a strong and strong baby that I felt that his need for movement is greater than his own ability to move and coordinate. How does it manifest itself? He cannot lie on his back for a long time (boring), rolls over, and still cannot crawl and is nervous about this, making jumping swaying movements with his whole body, as if he wants to, but cannot crawl forward. As a result, he cannot lie down at all: he “worked” for 10-15 minutes, “plowed”, as they say, and again on his mother. Of course, 3.5 months is normal early for crawling. But this particular kid, quick-witted and very mobile, albeit without tone, clearly shows that he wants more. Well, son, let's fly then. At the same time, mom pumps up triceps and biceps ...

Method number 11. Adjust environment

And, of course, we leave the most important for dessert. In addition to operational needs, there is an emotional (and eventful) background. Here, of course, you can say just about the habitat. Sometimes, if the child is crying, it is enough just to turn the music on (if it never plays in the house) or turn it off (if it always plays in it). But in general, here we are talking more about a favorable or unfavorable situation in the house, events in the life of parents and especially mothers. And often the baby is the most sensitive creature in the family, because he still cannot lie (even to himself). And then he signals that there is a trouble from which he (or his mother) needs to be pulled out. For example, sometimes I do psychological consultations when my child is in my arms (in a sling). And I notice that the baby begins to "swear" and "get nervous" if something is wrong with the consultation. Roughly speaking, when a client (partner) is lying. Baby is the perfect lie detector. He does not tolerate turbidity in situations and relationships. As soon as the consultation goes through a "muddy" topic and catharsis sets in, the baby calms down and usually falls asleep. It can be judged in different ways whether the place for babies is at the work of the mother. We will write about this separately sometime, and probably quite soon. But I (Lena Pavlova) have to work with my children - shoot, edit, teach, consult, make payments, write posts or reports. And I've learned to trust them. If they are nervous and their immediate needs are met, I look for the cause in the environment. They are sensitive to conflicts in the home and will be anxious "before" the adults make a fuss, as well as "after" the conflict seems to be over and the adults walk around irritated. And also on the eve of dad's bonus at work or before the car breaks down. Do not think that you can do anything with a baby that he is small and does not yet understand. He understands the deep non-verbal aspect, perhaps understands more accurately than adults. If you go to visit a hostile family, do not be surprised that when you return home you will find a baby sprinkled with a rash, for example. This understanding of auspicious and inauspicious places is especially clearly seen in travel, we wrote about it. And, if you trust the child as a partner and clean up the dregs around you, then, in the end, you yourself will become healthier and keep the child sensitive. After all, the capabilities of the baby are redundant and what is used is preserved. His gut will be useful to him in life, for it there are many areas of application in various specialties.

Method number 12. Adjust rhythms and routines

As you understand, we, like other natural parents, live in a mode on demand. Wants a breast - receives. Wants to write or poop - planted. Wants to sleep - put. Wants to "walk" - let's stay awake, but do not entertain if it happens at night (knock your feet as much as you want, I'll sleep side by side) and keep company if it happens during the day. Gradually, some rhythms appear, quite flexible. By three months, some natural analogue of the regime is formed. We know how many times a day our baby prefers to eat, poop, sleep. In order for this rhythm to appear, we, together with the baby, have done a lot of work during this time towards each other. He signaled to us with all his might, when he was not understood - he cried. And we listened. In soft or hard form, it is already in its sensitivity or busyness. If we tried to understand, he tried to amplify his signals. It is important that the sooner our reaction to the first "requests" came, the less he had to cry. Optimal act one step before he cries and then he didn't have to get used to crying to get through to us. Don't be upset if he did cry. Toddlers differ in their level of exactingness, perhaps yours is one of the demanding ones. If you listen to him, you can turn his nose into something that will be very useful to him later, useful in life, will give an application to his subtlety and sensitivity.